The Best Horror Films of 2010 You Didn't See (But Should!)

Theatrical horror releases in 2010 pretty much sucked, with a few exceptions (like the mesmerizing Black Swan), but there were many amazing independent productions. These are the kinds of films that fly below the radar and may not be familiar to most. Well, dear fiends, I am here to acquaint you with the best horror films of 2010 that you didn’t see…but definitely should!

Check out my list below!

The Bunny Game – This shocking independent film is probably the closest you’ll ever get to a snuff film! It is both beautiful and grotesque with-in-your face realism coupled with a voyeuristic feel. The striking black and white imagery and artistic editing give the film an avant-garde feel, but The Bunny Game never comes off as pretentious. This extreme film certainly isn’t for everyone, not even most horror viewers, but fans of brutal, well-made cinema will truly appreciate this challenging test of endurance.

Make Out with Violence – This stunning coming-of-age zombie film plumbs emotional depths rarely seen in horror. It has a melancholy tone with dreamy visuals that perfectly capture the bittersweet feeling of growing up and losing your innocence. This is certainly not your run-of-the-mill zombie flick, but is a much more subtle and introspective film. It is for those that like their horror intelligent, heartfelt and haunting.

Meadowoods – This was another indie film that really struck a chord with me. Set up like a faux documentary, this is a chilling portrayal of a trio of college kids who decide to kill someone and document it on film. The cold, calculating characters and their seeming indifference to life makes the film an unsettling experience.

Every Other Day is Halloween – EODiH is a fun documentary on the phenomena of horror hosts and their resurgence in recent years. The main focal point is Count Gore de Vol, a popular and pioneering horror host played by Dick Dyszel. We are given a peek into his life and the many characters, horror or otherwise, he has played. Dyszel was, and continues to be, a big influence on modern horror hosts, and many of these colorful characters are featured in the documentary as well. Even if you didn’t grow up during the golden age of horror hosts, this charming documentary will still entertain and delight horror fans!

President’s Day – Finally! A horror film for President’s Day! This low-budget film, directed by Chris LaMartina, is a fun throwback to ‘80s slasher flicks. It’s goofy and gory (with a huge body count!), but the film doesn’t sacrifice technical skill or story either! The direction is professional, the acting is top-notch and the story keeps you guessing.

7 Days – This was one of the hardest films for me to watch this year because of its intensity and subject matter. It is an extremely effective piece of cinema that left me stunned and shaken up. It deals with a horrific crime and vengeance against the perpetrator…but while you feel that revenge is warranted, it is still hard to watch the brutality that unfolds on screen. 7 Days is a challenging piece of cinema that not everyone will be able to handle, but one of the most horrifying films I saw all year and one that left me with mental scars.

Cabin Fever 2 – A year ago I NEVER would have thought this film would make any “best of” lists since director Ti West basically disowned the project and it didn’t look anything like Eli Roth’s original (which I love, BTW). However, a year later I find myself looking fondly back on CF2, which, like I first thought, is NOTHING like the original. In this case, this turned into a positive rather than a negative. Cabin Fever 2 has a crazy, manic energy that draws you in…plus, it’s got truckloads of gore! The outrageous gore and hilarious gross-out gags are so over-the-top that you just can’t help loving this movie!

 Walking Distance – This ambitious film by indie filmmaker Mel House really showcases the director’s potential! Besides being packed full of awesome effects and gooey gore, the film also boasts a complex story that is pulled together by a very talented cast.

Babysitter Wanted – While this film was made in 2008, it was never released until 2010, so I’m including it on this list. While at first this looks like your typical slasher (especially judging from the generic cover art), BW turns out to be a rather surprising little film with more than a few surprises up its sleeve. Unfortunately, this film hasn’t been given proper credit and is sadly unappreciated.

10 Unknown, Little-Seen or Just Plain Bad Halloween Movies

If you’re like me and most other Halloween fiends, you’ve already cycled through all your favorite Halloween movies and are looking for something new to watch this Halloween.

Well, you’re in luck because I’ve compiled a list of films below that are unknown, little-seen or just plain bad. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?!

1.) The Hollow – Starring Backstreet Boy-er Nick Carter, this flick set on Halloween night pits a descendant of Ichabod Crane against the Headless Horseman himself. It has a nice backdrop of a New England autumn and a haunted hayride attraction. It might not be the best movie ever, but it has some recognizable faces and an actually half-way decent storyline.

Buy it on Amazon!

2.) Boo – Set in a supposedly haunted asylum on Halloween night, Boo has a great Halloween atmosphere going! The asylum is appropriately creepy and the plot has plenty of twists and turns. Though the movie gets a bit convoluted in the end, it’s still a pretty decent effort!

Buy it on Amazon!

3.) Dark Night of the Scarecrow – This made for TV movie was finally released this past September and I couldn’t have been more glad! A mentally handicapped man is accused of harming a young girl (though he actually saved her) and a lynch mob kills him while he is disguised as a scarecrow. Soon after, the members of the lynch mob start seeing a mysterious scarecrow. One by one they start dying and the remaining men think the wrongfully accused man has come back for revenge.

Buy it on Amazon!

4.) Pumpkin Karver – This movie is pretty much your typical slasher, but I love the fact that its set in a pumpkin patch during a big Halloween party!

Buy it on Amazon!

5.) Hack-O-Lantern – Ok, this movie is pretty bad. The 80s-style small town party, complete with horrible comedian, stripper and awful “metal” band is at least fun to laugh at. The story revolves around a satanic cult, lead by the main character’s grandpa, who are trying to initiate him into their cult on Halloween night.

Buy it on Amazon!

6.) Mr. Halloween – This is an extremely low-budget movie that should be your very last resort on this list…it’s just that awful. Unless you like really bad movies or are just a glutton for punishment, AVOID this! A killer in a small town is kidnapping teens and using them in his haunted house display. Sounds cool, but it’s executed so poorly that it’s not worth sitting through. It does have some nice fall foliage, though.

Buy it on Amazon!

7.) Hallow’s End – Here’s another flick set in a haunted house-type amusement. A fraternity sets up their annual haunted house maze in an old warehouse. When an old spellbook is found, forces are unleashed that turn all the “fake” scare very real. This is another cool concept for a movie that almost succeeds, but the low budget gets in the way of its greatness. I do have to commend it for its cool location, though. Plus, it’s no where near as bad as Mr. Halloween.

Buy it on Amazon!

8.) Mad Monster Party – Want something a little bit lighter? How about this Rankin-Bass stop-motion production from 1967? It’s perfectly ooky without being too spooky!

Buy it on Amazon!

9.) Transylvania Television – I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention TVTV, or Transylvania Television, a puppet show for grown-ups. It’s about a bunch of misfit monsters trying to run a television station. It’s absolutely delightful and even more of a pleasure to watch around Halloween!

Order seasons 1 and 2 on the official website!

10.) It’s My Party and I’ll Die If I Want To – This low-budget picture is actually one that gets it right! A Halloween/birthday bash at a supposedly haunted house turns gruesome when the spirits really do come out to play! It’s a lot of fun, a lot of gore, and even has a cameo by Tom Savini in it!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: The Best Horror of the Year - Volume Two

Ellen Datlow has done it again! Not only has she compiled seventeen great short horror stories for this collection, but she has also given us, dear readers, an exhaustive run-down on notable horror literature releases of 2009, from books to anthologies to poetry to magazines. If you want a complete year in review for horror literature, look no further than The Best Horror of the Year – Volume Two!

Most of the stories in this collection are quite enjoyable, but there are a few that stood out more than the rest. The collection is kicked off with a bang with Suzy McKee Charnas’ Lowland Sea, a clever take on Poe’s famous The Masque of the Red Death. An entourage from the Cannes festival secludes themselves from the “Red Sweat” in a director’s isolated and impenetrable mansion…but they can’t escape the virus forever.

In the stunningly jaw dropping each thing i show you is a piece of my death by Gemma Files and Stephen J. Barringer, a strange “background man” starts showing up in different movies, TV shows, etc. but no one has a clue as to how he got there. A digital hoax is suspected at first, but his strange appearances remain unexplained. The story is told entirely in email communications and instant messages between two filmmakers, transcribed interviews, official documents, police transcripts and so on. It’s an entirely inventive and intriguing narrative structure, with the added menace and mystery of the “background man”.

These two stories described above were my favorites of the collection, but many more grabbed my attention, including Lonegan’s Luck by Stephen Graham, about a Wild West salesman spreading a zombie virus from town to town, The Lion’s Den by Steve Duffy, about strange happenings at a zoo, Strappado by Laird Barron, about an exclusive art installation that’s to die for, The Lammas Worm by Nina Allan, about a strange girl that falls in with a circus sideshow and Technicolor by John Langan, another creative take on Poe’s Masque of the Red Death.

If you are looking for a great guide to some of the best horror literature published in 2009, pick up a copy of The Best Horror of the Year – Volume Two. It’s worth picking up solely for its superb write-up of numerous horror books, magazines, stories, etc., but as an added bonus the short stories also included are excellent examples of the cream of the crop of horror literature.

This is the second Best of Horror collection from Ellen Datlow I’ve had the pleasure to read, and I’m already looking forward to the third detailing the best of 2010!

Check it out on Amazon!

Best and Worst Horror Films of 2009

Well, horror fans, it’s another end to another year and I’ll bet most of you are glad to see 2009 go! The year has been a long one for most of us, and with all the economic sh*t hitting the fan, horror fans needed some well-deserved escape with our films this year. Lucky for us, 2009 offered lots of great horror, from the comedic Zombieland to the nostalgic Trick ‘r Treat to the horrific Grace.

We here at Fatally-Yours wanted to recognize the year in horror films, both good and bad, so I have compiled my annual lists for the best and worst horror films of 2009, presented here for your pleasure!

Besides the obvious picks for the best horror films of 2009 that may be included in my list, I also wanted to share with you some possibly lesser known titles you might have missed this year. Movies that shocked, delighted and scared me. Movies that got me through the worst and the best of times of 2009. With the good comes the bad, though, and 2009 certainly saw its fair share of stinkers, also represented on my "worst of" list!

While it is true I haven’t seen every horror film (good or bad) that was released in 2009, I think that my lists will give you excellent insight on the best and worst this year and lead you to discover some hidden gems as well as fondly revisiting some of the best horror of 2009 (just avoid the "worst of" picks!). As with any list there will be varying opinions, so please recognize that this isn’t a definitive list by any means, but merely my personal favorites and least favorites from 2009.

I am glad to see 2009 go, but am also grateful for the many amazing horror films that were released this year and I am eagerly anticipating to see where the horror genre goes in 2010!

(I’ve tried to be accurate with release dates, but with some films it’s a slippery slope when trying to pin down an exact release date [limited theatrical vs. DVD release, foreign releasing, etc.], so please give me some wiggle room…I am only trying to showcase the very best [and worst] films that caught my eye this year.)

BEST:

10.) The Burrowers – Horror movies set during the Old West are far and in-between, so I was anxious to check out J.T. Petty’s ambitious film about a posse of cowboys and cavalry looking for a missing family who come up against creatures the Native Americans call “the burrowers”. The Burrowers is Western horror done right, featuring creeping dread, beautiful panoramas and a unique storyline. This came out on DVD way back in April and was one of the first horror films of 2009 I truly loved!

Buy it on Amazon!

9.) Fever Night – Fever Night was made by a skeleton crew of three and took over two years to complete on a shoestring budget, but nonetheless the result is stunning. Featuring weird, trippy visuals, great performances by its three actors and a spooky story about Satan-worshippers who encounter the Devil himself after performing a black magick ritual, Fever Night had me enthralled from beginning to end. This psychotic and psychedelic satanic indie film managed to unnerve me far more than horror films with 100x its budget. Keep an eye on co-writers/co-directors Jordan Harris and Andrew Schrader, because they are the kind of raw talent that horror so desperately needs!

8.) Laid to Rest – One of the few slasher films in recent history to actually be decent! Sure, it didn’t try to reinvent the slasher genre, but it did manage to make slashers fun again! Instead of stereotypical characters, writer and director Robert Hall gave us likeable characters and a menacing and actually scary villain. Add loads of mind-blowing gore and you’ve got yourself a surprisingly good slasher that stands head and shoulders above all the wannabe’s released this year. Gory, gory hallelujah! This is how a slasher should be done!

Buy it on Amazon!

7.) Dead Snow – Nazi zombies…do I really need to say anymore? Well, ok…besides the Nazi zombies, this Norwegian film is full of self-referential humor and some of the most entertaining kill scenes all year! It is the perfect balance between slapstick and splatterfest and one of the most fun films to watch with a large group of friends.

Buy it on Amazon!

6.) Grace – I love horror flicks that focus on women characters and their dilemmas. After being stunned at Paul Solet’s short film Grace, I was thrilled when I heard it was being made into a feature film. This year it was finally released and I couldn’t be more pleased with the film! This is one disturbing horror film that is sure to ruffle both female’s and male’s feathers! A pregnant woman is determined to carry her dead baby to term, but when it’s born it miraculously comes back to life. Soon, it because obvious the baby isn’t normal and needs human blood to survive. This kind of film could have easily dissolved into the silliness of It’s Alive, but Solet’s writing and direction, plus a convincing performance by Jordan Ladd, keep things tense and serious. A truly shocking and unique take on the demands of motherhood and the extent a mother will go to protect her offspring.

Buy it on Amazon!

5.) Sweatshop – Another independent production to top my list, Sweatshop is pure gothic grittiness from indie filmmaker Stacy Davidson! It’s like an old school slasher, filled with colorful characters who are throwing an industrial rave in an old abandoned warehouse but soon realize they are sharing the space with a sadistic killer. Sure, it doesn’t sound like anything new, but what makes Sweatshop special is the way it’s executed and the strong performances from its actors, namely Jeremy Sumrall, who puts on one of the most menacing performances from a killer I’ve seen all year! Plus, it boasts some of the most insane gore this side of Laid to Rest and a killer soundtrack of industrial and EBM beats.

4.) Zombieland – Ok, this is an obvious choice for most horror fans, but it’s an obvious choice with good reason! First of all, do you know anyone who has seen this movie and didn’t like it? I didn’t think so…Zombieland is a rootin’ tootin’ good time, chock full of zingers, quotable lines and “rules” to live the apocalypse by (better get started on that cardio training…), with a very healthy dose of gore!

Buy it on Amazon!

3.) Jennifer’s Body – Maybe it was the women-centric themes that made fans avoid or dislike Jennifer’s Body, but as a woman horror fan I absolutely loved it. Many other women I’ve spoken to loved it as well, so it makes me wonder if males didn’t connect with this film because it featured strong women as the main characters and revealed how in control women are when it comes to sex. I’d take a guess that this film made most men uncomfortable, even if they didn’t realize it, and this led them to dislike it. It is a pity this film was overlooked by the majority of the horror community, because not only was it entertaining and sexy, it was smart! Diablo Cody’s clever writing and Karyn Kasuma’s sure-fire direction along with stellar performances from both Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried made this one of my most fun theater experiences of 2009.

Buy it on Amazon!

2.) Drag Me to Hell – Still, THIS was definitely the most fun I had in a theater in 2009! Sam Raimi’s rambunctious Drag Me To Hell was a pure delight to watch. His triumphant return to horror was filled with groddy set-pieces, ominous atmosphere and one of the year’s best villains – “You have shamed me!!”

Buy it on Amazon!

1.) Trick ‘r Treat– What else can I say about this masterpiece that hasn’t already been said? As a spooky kid, I am always for more Halloween-themed horror films (not the shitty kind like The Pumpkin Karver), so I had high expectations when this was FINALLY released to horror fans this year. My expectations weren’t only met, but exceeded with Trick ‘r Treat’s entertaining and intertwined anthology. This is an instant Halloween and horror classic, and in my opinion has even surpassed Carpenter’s Halloween as the best Samhain-themed movie ever!

Buy it on Amazon!

WORST:

I make it a mission to avoid as much bad horror as I can (I skipped most of this year’s remakes and/or sequels – H2, The Uninvited, Sorority Row, etc. – as well as insipid looking big-budget “horror” – Orphan, The Unborn, Twatlight – New Moon, etc.), so barring any horror that my gut told me was already going to be bad, I present to you the bottom of the barrel horror I was unfortunate enough to witness this year.

10.) Afterdark Horrorfest III/Ghosthouse Underground 2009 Releases: Some of my least favorite horror films were released by these two companies. With Afterdark Horrorfest you have the trivial and boring Perkins 14, Autopsy, The Broken, Dying Breed, etc., etc…(most of which I didn’t review because they were so bland and forgettable) not one of their releases that I saw did I like. Ghosthouse Underground’s direct-to-DVD titles The Children, Seventh Moon and Offspring did little to impress me. The only one I sorta liked was The Thaw. When three out of four of your releases suck, it’s pretty much time to reevaluate your horror cred, kiddos.

9.) Dead in 3 Days – Unoriginal film from Austria that cribs the U.S. slasher formula and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW WITH IT! Pointless and a waste of time…

Buy it on Amazon!

8.) Plague Town – Normally, I think kids are creepy on their own, so I’m a sucker for evil kid flicks. I was definitely a sucker when I got sucked into watching this…because this film just plain sucked. More generic story-telling (a family stuck in the middle of nowhere, odd townfolk, etc.) and stupid decisions made by characters made me want to catch an actual plague to put me out of my misery from watching this flick.

Buy it on Amazon!

7.)  I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer – I was actually looking forward to this Down Under indie flick, expecting some tongue-in-cheek humor and vicious kills, but all I got was a lousy migraine from this uninspired slasher. It may have a catchy title and a cool premise (a killer cricket player…brilliant!) but it fumbles the ball big-time by sticking to the stereotypical slasher formula and not offering up any humor or even memorable kills.

Buy it on Amazon!

6.) Nature’s Grave – This remake of the Australian cult classic Long Weekend held none of the original’s suspense and the hammy performance by Jim Caviezel was embarrassing to watch.

Buy it on Amazon!

5.) Killer Shorts – Low budget pictures can be a joy to watch, but some can be downright excruciating. You certainly don’t need a big budget to make a good film, but by God you need solid storylines and somewhat competent actors and direction. Unfortunately, Killer Shorts had none of these pertinent components and was an absolute travesty. Unbelievably terrible and one of the worst low budget pictures I’ve ever seen.

4.) Autumn – I had high hopes for this film, based on David Moody’s acclaimed book, but the film failed to capture the urgency and human emotion of the novel. Instead, it plodded through its running time and was a drag to sit through.

3.) Surveillance – Jennifer Lynch attempted to follow in daddy David Lynch’s footprints for this one, but instead she made a boring and predictable genre flick. It was filed with such banality that I didn’t even bother to write a review for it.

Buy it on Amazon!

2.) Amusement – What a horrid mess of a movie! Riddled with plot holes, inconsistencies and characters making boneheaded decisions, this film had me rolling my eyes so many times I thought I’d go blind!

Buy it on Amazon!

1.) Friday the 13^th – Where to I even begin with this awful, awful remake? Out of all the horrid remakes coming out of Hollywood, this ranks up there as the absolute worst. Unlikable characters, a pathetic Jason, gapping plot holes and some of the most forgettable kills of all the Friday the 13^th movies left me feeling dirty and used by Platinum Dunes and seeking vengeance on those that made this piece of poo.

Buy it on Amazon!

Top 5 Unusual and Underrated Christmas Horror Movies

It’s that time of year again when all the horror sites out there make their top whatever lists of holiday horror films to watch…and all the lists are pretty much the same. Aren’t you sick of being recommended for the umpteenth time to watch Silent Night, Deadly Night, Christmas Evil and Black Christmas? Are you looking for some new holiday horrors to spook your holiday spirit?

Well, look no further because I have compiled a very unique top 5 list of lesser-known and lesser-recognized holiday-themed horror movies that are sure to knock your stockings off!

5.) Wind Chill

It’s a snowy Christmas Eve and a college student who is trying to get home for Christmas is ride-sharing with a stranger. They are in an accident that leaves them stranded and then freaky stuff starts to occur. This is a more psychological horror film than anything else, though the strange stuff that happens to the stranded girl and guy is definitely eerie. Just don’t watch it before you have to travel for the holidays!

Order it on Amazon!

4.) A Christmas Tale

Part of the DVD set “6 Films to Keep You Awake” from Spain, A Christmas Tale is about a group of childhood chums that stumble upon a thief dressed as Santa who has fallen into a hole in the forest. After learning she is a criminal who has recently stolen a bunch of money, the kids sadistically torture her with hopes they can get their money on the cash. Eventually, they think they’ve killed her, but the woman manages to escape and starts viciously hunting down the children to get her revenge. This is an extremely well-done and tense film, but also throws in some laughs with the Goonie-like group of kids and many ‘80s pop culture references.

Order it on Amazon!

3.) Inside

It’s Christmas Eve, and pregnant Sarah is due the next day. She is tragically all alone after losing her husband in a car accident, but that’s about to change as she hears a knock at the door. A mysterious woman appears who eventually tries to break into Sarah’s house to kill her and her baby. Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past couple years, you’ve definitely heard about this ultra-violent and uber-gory French import. Not only is the gore fantastic, but I also love the performances by the two actors and the eerie isolation of Sarah’s home.

Order it on Amazon!

2.) P2

A lot of people maligned this movie when it came out, but I actually enjoyed it. A woman fights for her life in her building’s parking garage when a lonely security guard who is obsessed with her decides that she’ll be spending Christmas with him this year. I was surprised how enjoyable this flick was, from the festive holiday dinner scene to how hard the main character actually fought back, and while it does have its flaws (the whole water in the elevator scene is a wee bit laughable) overall it was an entertaining holiday flick!

Order it on Amazon!

1.) Sheitan

Beware the dangers of Christmas Eve! A group of twentysomethings meet a seemingly sweet and innocent woman at a club on Christmas Eve, who invites them back to her family’s run-down farmhouse in the French countryside. Once they arrive, the kids realize that the “family” is slightly off…Sheitan another uncomfortable French film and is probably the must disturbing and strange movies of the bunch. Not only does the film make you feel uncomfortable, but there is plenty of nasty violence, incest, sex and devil worship to shock and satiate even the most jaded of viewers.

Order it on Amazon!

My Best and Worst Horror Films of 2008

Was 2008 a good year for horror? Some people might argue that the deluge of PG-13 “bubblegum horror” (Prom Night remake, Twilight, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, etc.) damaged horror’s reputation, but the fact can’t be denied that there were also some mighty fine horror movies released this year that scared the pants off people.

Whether you think 2008 was a good or bad year for horror, I’ve compiled my picks for the best and worst horror films of 2008.

(I’ve tried to be accurate with release dates, but with some films it’s a slippery slope when trying to pin down an exact release date (limited theatrical vs. DVD release, foreign releasing, etc.), so please give me some wiggle room…I'm only trying to showcase the very best (and worst) films that caught my eye this year.)

BEST:

10.) The Strangers – One of the only movies that genuinely creeped me out this year! Its subtle horror gets under your skin and I love the creepy music that was used. The first appearance of one of the villains in the house (oh, so subtle) had me holding on to the arms of my chair for dear life! A tension-filled, expertly filmed horror movie.

9.) Brutal Massacre – This is just a plain hilarious farce on horror filmmaking. The dead-pan, dry humor had me rolling on the floor, along with the situations the characters found themselves in. The actors were pitch-perfect, including Gunnar Hansen who stole the show as a creepy local.

8.) Re-Cycle – A whimsical, visually-stimulating piece of fantasy-horror cinema from the Pang Brothers. Re-Cycle is absolutely stunning to look at, but it also features an engaging, mysterious and touching storyline. I also love how it skewers the typical Asian horror film in its opening scenes, but it quickly moves into its fantastic fantasy world filled with zombies, abortion babies, ghosts and crumbling, abandoned cities.

7.) Poultrygeist – No movie this year has made me simultaneously laugh and gag as much as Poultrygeist. It’s ultra-low brow humor, musical numbers, copious gore, offensiveness and social commentary made it one of the most entertaining horror films of the year. I’m not even a big fan of Troma films and I think this is one of their best ever! This is a fowl, gross-out movie that super-sizes the fun and comes with an extra side of AWESOME!

6.) Cloverfield – The most scary monster movie of the year, period. Cloverfield perfectly captures the immediacy, confusion and emotion of disaster and really gives us a taste of what have must have been like on 9/11 and other major, big-city catastrophes. This is the one film of 2008 that utilizes the hand-held, “shaky cam” technique the best and in a way that makes the most sense. The monster and its mysterious appearance also adds to the fear factor.

5.) The Orphanage – Haunting, unsettling and heartbreaking best describe this beautifully scary film. If you haven’t seen it yet…do yourself a favor and see it now!

4.) The Signal – An intelligent, gritty, comedic love story peppered with intense bouts of gore. It has three separate “transmissions” (each directed by a different director) that each focus on a different character and carry a slightly different tone.

3.) Red Velvet – I saw this film at Fango in April and was blown away by its originality, horror-movie smarts and witty dialogue. It also boasts a killer creation of a horror movie killer…but is he/she real or just in the imagination of the storyteller? Hopefully more people will get to see it in 2009…I hear it already has a distribution deal!

2.) Let the Right One In – This movie is like an otherworldly, transcendent experience. After watching it you are changed and look at the world in a wholly different way. Everything from the stark atmosphere to the touching relationship between the two main characters to the bouts of violence we see entrances us and pulls us into the film and story even farther.

1.) Midnight Movie – Both an homage to old “midnight movies” (and horror movies in general) and an entirely original storyline about a killer in a film that can move beyond his celluloid prison and stalk and kill the patrons of an old movie theater. Instead of being a standard hack ‘n’ slash movie, there is a great supernatural twist to the proceedings that just adds so much! Everything from the production values to the acting and the gore is top notch and my eyes were glued to the screen for the film’s entirety. Not to mention that the film creates an iconic killer that could stand up there with Leatherface, Freddy, Jason or Michael!  Ever since I saw this movie it has been on my mind and I can’t wait until more people are able to view it when it hits DVD in January.

WORST:

10.) Automaton Transfusion – With the exception of its gore, I felt that this indie film did everything wrong. Huge inconsistencies, big plot holes, unbelievable circumstances and overuse of the shaky cam irked me enough to include it in my worst of. Plus, the fact that it was so over-hyped but failed to deliver anything new, different or entertaining to the zombie genre really pissed me off.

9.) Diary of the Dead – Heavy-handed social commentary and a lame-o storyline with detestable characters really killed this for me. Incredibly boring with social commentary about as fresh as the rotting corpses surrounding the characters.

8.)  Killer Pad – Feel like torturing someone? Look no further than Robert Englund’s return to directing, Killer Pad. It tries for Dude, Where’s My Car humor, but fails miserably. It is an embarrassing film to watch knowing Mr. Englund was involved, especially with the bad 13-year-old-type dialogue that this turkey is stuffed with, not to mention the unlikable characters, plot holes and the sheer stupidity of the script. After this movie, I might be convinced that Englund should stick to acting…

7.) Pathology – Ok, so I wasn’t expecting much from the writers of Crank, but c’mon! What ever happened to believability in a flick?! This film shows how a regular good guy can turn tail and become a murdering, adulterous druggie, throwing his whole life and future career away. Why, you ask? Because someone triple dog dared him, that’s why! Besides the ridiculously ludicrous plot, it has bad acting (does actor Milo Ventimiglia seriously only have one expression?), little gore and horrible logic. Plus, it lacks the killer autopsy scenes I was expecting to see…This one is definitely DOA.

6.) Asylum – This movie was so forgettable that I’ve had to look at my review TWICE to remind myself what the hell it was about. Stupid characters (each with a deep dark secret…how convenient) find out their dorm used to be some old mental hospital with a craaaaazy doctor performing experiments….yada yada YAWN. Not even the silliness of the doctor’s character can pull this one out of the dregs. Totally unmemorable except for the fact that it’s so forgettable.

5.) Catacombs – I love Shannyn Sossamon, but girl needs a new agent! She was in the awful One Missed Call remake (luckily I didn’t sit through that one) and this atrocious mess of a movie. This film had the coolest and creepiest setting ever (the cavernous catacombs of Paris, though it wasn’t even filmed there – strike one!), but quickly turned to merde with the most annoying characters ever created, a predictable plot, zero scares and a cop-out ending that makes everything you’ve just watched not count for anything. Shannyn, either stay outta the horror genre or land a gig for a film that’s actually good!

4.) Women’s Studies – This indie film, about murders in an all-girls college, had me intrigued when I first heard about it. Like Teeth, it seemed to promise strong feminist values, but, again like Teeth, it failed to deliver. Instead, I was forced to suffer through stereotypical depictions of  “feminists.” According to this movie, feminists are all man-hating, hippie lesbians. Add a plodding, boring storyline, more stupid characters and horrendous dialogue and all that you’ll be studying while watching this film is the ceiling…because the ceiling is far more interesting than Women’s Studies.

3.) Teeth – This movie makes me seething mad. I can’t believe how many people fell for its “feminist horror flick” shtick when it’s just the opposite. The storyline may be original, but the execution was all wrong and downright insulting, especially the end when marriage was presented as a “cure-all” for the main character’s “problem.” Teeth took what could have been a strong woman-centric message but instead decided to shove patriarchal values down our throats instead. Just pathetic. This movie can bite me.

2.) Lost Boys 2: The Tribe – This movie felt like an episode of The O.C. with rich kids in a California beach town driving their expensive motorcycles/cars and throwing massive parties while two outsiders, a brother and sister (though they seem creepily incestuous), try to fit in. Little sister falls for the “most popular guy” and big brother tries to stop this romance…oh, and there are vampires in there somewhere. A complete and utter letdown…I don’t even think your 12-year-old sister would be caught dead watching this.

1.) Return to Sleepaway Camp – I would rather gouge out my own eyes with rusty nails than see this insulting, unfunny and stupid sequel again! Fans of the original Sleepaway Camp films will be appalled at this Return, from the dialogue that sounds like it was written by a five-year-old that got dropped on its head to the horrible, unlikable characters and mediocre deaths. Even a last-minute (and last-ditch) appearance from Angela herself and cameos from actors from the original film couldn’t save me from the painful experience.

My Top 5 Christmas Horror Movies

Happy Horror-days, fatal fiends! I want to bring you plenty of season’s bleedings, er, greetings, so I’ve compiled a handy list of holiday horrors for this horrendous holiday season!

So grab a glass of egg nog and a slice of fruit cake and settle in for some holiday fear with the following Fatally Yours’ approved Christmas films!

5. Two Front Teeth – This is a campy and tongue-in-cheek indie flick that celebrates the season with killer elves, a trio of nun assassins under an oath of silence called the “Silent Knights,” an evil tooth fairy posing as Santa Claus and “X-mas Files” journalist Gabe Snow trying to piece the mystery of the crash of flight 1225 together. Though this low-budget film has its flaws, its witty Christmas references make it memorable and will put you in a holly-jolly mood!


4. Christmas Evil – A Christmas cult classic, this film came out before the notoriously boycotted Silent Night, Deadly Night, even though it has the similar theme of a man snapping and doning a red Santa suit to instill Christmas fear in anyone who he deems as being “naughty.”

Though the first half of the film is a little slow, the action picks up in the last half as the lead character, Harry, finally snaps and begins taking people out with killer toys that he’s hand-crafted. A stand-out performance from Brandon Maggert (Fiona Apple’s dad!) and the film’s dark tone make Christmas Evil a memorable holiday film.

3. Marcus – Complaining about having to spend time with your dysfunctional family this Christmas? After viewing the bleak and disturbing indie film Marcus, I’m sure you’ll stop your bitching and have a newfound appreciation for your own family. The claustrophobic atmosphere of the film creates a tension that is only matched by the family members’ distrust and deceit.


2. Silent Night, Deadly Night – Poor Billy…he saw his parents get murdered by a maniac dressed in a Santa suit when he was young and has been traumatized ever since. Just a glimpse of Santa can set him off…Years after being raised by nuns in an orphanage Billy gets a holiday job at a toy store, but snaps when he has to play the store’s Santa Claus. He demands “punishment” for all who’ve been “naughty” and chops his way back to the orphanage where he grew up to have his revenge on the nuns.

This is probably the most notorious Christmas movie because of the controversy it generated when it was first released. Though Christmas Evil came years before and had a similar premise of a killer Santa, people still protested Silent Night, Deadly Night because of its portrayal of a killer dressed as Santa Claus. Watching it now you don’t really understand what all the fuss was about, but its still a pretty solid horror film and it even boasts a topless Linnea Quigley in an early role!

1. Santa’s Slay – An over-the-top, action-packed, hilarious holiday horror movie! Not very many people have heard of this film, but it is well worth hunting down. It features wrestler Bill Goldberg as an evil Santa Claus whose 1,000 years of spreading good cheer and delivering presents are up and now he’s in a killing mood…

There are so many great holiday references and gags in the film (death by menorah, Santa taking out a group of carolers, festively dressed strippers, etc.) and the film has an overall black comedic tone that makes it laugh-out-loud hilarious! If you haven’t seen Santa’s Slay before now, it will definitely become a new holiday tradition!

My Top 10 Halloween Movies

When the wind grows colder, orange leaves start dropping from the trees and stores start adorning their windows with ghouls and goblins, I start getting giddy because I know it’s the season for Halloween!

Of course, sometimes the sights of the season aren’t enough to spark the spirit of Halloween and I need a little help with eerie inspirations. A few good Halloween movies usually do the trick for me, so today I’m going to share with you my top 10 Halloween movies that really get me in the groovy mood for Halloween!

Keep in mind, not all my picks are strictly horror themed. Since Halloween-time really makes me feel like a kid again, I’ve decided to include some family-friendly films on my list. Despite their PG rating, these choices never fail to get me in the ooky-spooky spirit!

Also, I don’t watch just any old horror movie to get me in the scary spirit…my picks all predominately feature Halloween or autumn. In my book, just because a movie is frightening doesn’t make it perfect for Halloween…it needs costumes, trick or treating, pumpkins, and orange and red leaves adorning sidewalks!

So, sit back and enjoy my top 10 Halloween movies! Maybe they’ll become some of your holiday favorites as well!

Click the title of the film for a review or click the BUY ME! link to buy the DVD for cheap!

1.) It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966) BUY ME!

This is just a classic, hands-down. The whole Peanuts gang gets dressed up to go trick or treating (“I got a rock.”) and attends a Halloween party…except for Linus, who spends the chilly night in the dark pumpkin patch, waiting for the Great Pumpkin to appear. This movie immediately gives me Halloween spirit! I get the warm fuzzies watching it, because it reminds me of being a kid again and the excitement surrounding Halloween.

You’d be a blockhead not to watch this around Halloween!

2.) Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) BUY ME!

This much-maligned horror flick is actually one of my favorite Halloween series flicks. While there is no Michael Myers lurking about, I still love the storyline about a big Halloween mask maker that has plans to kill all the children on Halloween with his popular masks. The trick or treating kids throughout the film always get me revved up for the holiday, as does the Silver Shamrock song. “Two more days ‘til Halloween, Halloween…” It just doesn’t feel like Halloween until I hear that song…

3.) Trick or Treat (1986) BUY ME!

With its metal soundtrack and disaffected teen who conjures up the vengeful spirit of a satanic rock star Halloween night, Trick or Treat is a definite MUST SEE for Halloween. Though it’s a bit slow towards the beginning, the film picks up speed like a kid on a Pixie Stix sugar high. It also boasts cameos from Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osborne along its wicked cool soundtrack. If you want to raise hell this Halloween, this movie will definitely set the sinister mood!

4.) Donnie Darko (2001) BUY ME!

This is one mind-bender of a movie, featuring time travel, space-time continuums, worm hole theories, fate vs. free will and a plethora of other themes to make you think. At its heart, though, I think it’s about love and two star-crossed lovers, one of which sacrifices it all for the other. It’s a very dark film whose themes and amazing score capture the dark side of the season. Why would I choose this as a Halloween movie? Well, besides the malignant feel the film has, it is set around Halloween and features some great Halloween costumes, including one very creepy bunny costume.

5.) Night of the Demons (1988) BUY ME!

Night of the Demons is just a plain fun Halloween movie. A group of teens decides to break into a supposedly haunted funeral home on Halloween to have a party, but instead unleash some nasty demons. Ok, so if Peanuts reminded me of being a kid again, Night of the Demons reminded me about being a teen and wrecking havoc on Halloween night! The whole breaking-into-a-haunted-house-on-Halloween-night story always reminds me of being a teenager and trying to scare the crap out of my friends.

6.) Hocus Pocus (1993) BUY ME!

Another fun one, but this one is kid-friendly! In 1693 in Salem, three witches were sentenced to hang, but beforehand they promised they’d be back…300 years later a teenager who is a virgin unwittingly conjures them back. Now it’s up to him, his girlfriend and his little sister to stop the three witches before they suck the life out of all of Salem’s children.  I was 11 when this first came out, and I absolutely LOVED it. It perfectly captures the feeling of Halloween with its creepy cemetery, festively decorated houses, fabulous witches’ costumes…and even a zombie called back from the dead! Watching this flick is a definite Halloween tradition for me, no matter how silly and Disney-fied it is.

7.) HellBent (2005) BUY ME!

Going from Disney territory to more X-rated territory, HellBent is a hotter than hell film that’s set at West Hollywood’s wild Halloween street party. This film features tons of hot guys and gory kills, but it’s the crazy Halloween party that appeals to me in the movie. The atmosphere of the party is just electric, filled to the brim with lots of flamboyant, scary and hot costumes, and just makes you wish Halloween was year-round.

8.) Monster House (2006) BUY ME!

You remember when you were a kid and your parents didn’t believe you when you told them there was a monster under the bed or the dog ate your homework or the old lady living down the lane liked to eat children? Well, Monster House, about some kids who discover that the house across the street is a living, breathing, EATING entity, will take you back to those days…It’s a great film not only for kids, but groan-ups as well and features plenty of fall foliage to put you in the mood for Halloween, not to mention the cute trick or treating scene at the end!

9.) Satan’s Little Helper (2004) BUY ME!

This little-seen horror film is an absolute gem that more people should seek out! It features a creepy serial killer wearing a twisted goat-devil mask who is befriended by a reality-challenged young kid who is obsessed with a video game called Satan’s Little Helper. When he meets the serial killer he thinks he’s found his own personal Satan and that that basically his video game has come to life. This is a darkly humorous movie with plenty of shocking violence…and fun Satan costumes!

10.) The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) BUY ME!

Do I really need to explain this one? If there is one movie that exemplifies the Halloween spirit (other than the classic Halloween, of course, which I’ve elected not to include on my list because I watch it year-round!), then The Nightmare Before Christmas is it…Featuring a town called Halloweentown populated by monsters and other spooks and tons of catchy songs you can sing year-round, The Nightmare Before Christmas is fun for boils and ghouls of all ages!

Well, as I settle down with some pumpkin bread and spiced cider to carve some pumpkins, I hope you have enjoyed my list and seek out some of these films to put you in the spooky Halloween spirit!

Halloween Music Mix 2008: 13 Songs to Haunt Your Halloween

It’s finally the beginning of the month that so many of us cherish…October! A time of bonfires burning bright and pumpkin faces in the night…a time for Halloween, every horror fan’s favorite holiday!

For me personally, this is my favorite time of year and I get as giddy as a schoolgirl once Halloween season rolls around. My house is already decorated for Halloween year-round, but I put in extra effort for October and go wild with Halloween decorations (just ask my boyfriend…)!

To kick off the Halloween season, I always make a Halloween music mix. My mixes don’t have your typical Misfits’ “Halloween” song (or covers) and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is no where to be found. Forget about “Monster Mash!” Though I do love those songs, everyone hears them repeatedly every time they walk into a Halloween store! So, instead, I try and unearth some industrial, goth, and EBM-type songs to set the perfect mood for a eerie All Hallow’s Eve.

There are many morbidly macabre songs perfect for Halloween, but below are some of my all-time favorite Halloween songs!

13 Songs to Haunt Your Halloween:

1.) Ministry – “Every Day is Halloween” (available on Early Trax)

“Well I let their teeny minds think
That they’re dealing with someone who is over the brink
And I dress this way just to keep them at bay
Coz Halloween is everyday…
It’s everyday…”


The title pretty much says it all…Every Day IS Halloween for some people…including me! I love how this song celebrates being different and being true to yourself year-round.

2.) God Module – “Spooky” (available on Let’s Go Dark)

“Don’t ever change
I like it spooky
Zombies eating brains
I like it spooky
Serial killers
And the insane
I like it spooky
Angry ghosts,
Rattling chains
I like it spooky”

For me, this is the titular Halloween song! With a sample from Trash’s death speech in Return of the Living Dead, this song just oozes Halloween spirit! I consider this song kinda like my theme song. Also check out “Orange and Black” by God Module, off the same Let’s Go Dark album, which features samples from John Carpenter’s Halloween.

3.) AFI – Fall Children (available on All Hallow’s EP)

“Fall children fill the streets at dusk
At last,  it will all begin…”

This is old skool AFI from their All Hallow’s EP (which also includes a cover of the Misfits’ “Halloween”) and is a fast-paced punk song that begins with a very eerie intro reminiscent of a dark October night.

4.) Nine Inch Nails – Dead Souls (Joy Division cover, available on The Crow: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

“They keep calling me…”

This Joy Division cover was originally written by Ian Curtis about spirits calling to him. How much more macabre and morose can you get? Nine Inch Nails’ cover of this song is a bit heavier and Trent Reznor’s harsh vocals are a perfect match to the tortured lyrics.

5.) Marilyn Manson – This is Halloween (available on Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack)

“This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It’s our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween”

From The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack, Marilyn Manson’s take on “This is Halloween” is the perfect balance between frightening and fun. Danny Elfman’s lyrics are just so joyful and infectious that you can’t help but sing along, even though Manson gives the song a darker edge! And everyone wishes they lived in Halloweentown…I know I do!

6.) Rasputina – Transylvanian Concubine [Marilyn Manson Mix] (available on Transylvanian Regurgitations EP)


“Look into their eyes and you’ll be a Transylvanian Concubine.
You know what flows here like wine.
Stay here with us
It’s just time.
Transylvanian Concubine…”

Elegantly eerie…whenever I hear this song I can’t help but think of the Brides of Dracula seducing Jonathan Harker in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. A perfect song to accompany a sexy outfit on Halloween.

7.) The Cure – Lullaby (available on Disintegration)

“On candystripe legs the spiderman comes
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
Looking for the victim shivering in bed”

Definitely one of The Cure’s creepier songs, “Lullaby” is the perfect nightmare scenario of being visiting by an unspeakable evil during the night. Though probably one of the slower songs on this mix, “Lullaby” is haunting and puts me in the mood to spook!

8.) Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds – Red Right Hand (available on Let Love In)

“On a gathering storm comes
A tall handsome man
In a dusty black coat with
A red right hand”

This songs just evokes evil and makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up…

9.) Siouxsie and the Banshees – Halloween (available on Juju)

“The night is still
And the frost it bites my face
I wear my silence like a mask
And murmur like a ghost
“Trick or Treat”
“Trick or Treat”
The bitter and the sweet”

NOT a cover of the Misfits’ “Halloween”, instead this is a nostalgic look back at childhood. The “Trick or Treat” chorus is just too fun to pass up, though you can hear Siouxsie’s longing for the old days in her voice.

10.) Switchblade Symphony – Witches (available on Bread and Jam for Frances)

“Your dreams are filled with blood and gore.
Now they’re right outside your door.
They’re gonna get you.”

An eerie, languid and sexy song with strong horror imagery featuring witches, skeletons, spiders, monsters and goblins, “Witches” and its hypnotizing beat will have you conjuring some “toil and trouble” of your own…

11.) Velvet Acid Christ – Haunted (available on Hex Angel: Utopia-Dystopia)

“Tonight, tonight I slowly bleed
Haunted by the will of unease
Shattered by the sound of your screams
Tonight, tonight I watch you plea.”

Perfect for dancing the night away with that boil or ghoul you met on the dance floor…if you don’t mind a song about bloody murder…

12.) Voltaire – Dead Girls (available on Almost Human)

“Dead girls like me
Can’t you see?
Only dead girls like me
Oh, dead girls like me
Can’t you see?
Only dead girls don’t walk away from me
Sad as it seems…”

Halloween just isn’t complete without Voltaire, and his goth cabaret music is a delightful companion to the season. His “Dead Girls,” about, ahem, necrophilia, is excellent for a gross-out good time yet still maintains a dapper style!

13.) Type O Negative – All Hallow’s Eve (available on World Coming Down)

“Be spiderwebbed and glazed in frost
She wears death – beautifully
More stunning now – than in her life – on a bed – of autumn leaves
Into her eyes and quite surprised I whispered don’t you leave
Sing macabre songs and well dance ‘til dawn – on All Hallow’s Eve”

Mmmm…what’s more romantic than resurrecting your dead lover on All Hallow’s Eve? Peter Steele’s deep voice, the song’s slowly rising tempo and the evocatively creepy lyrics are perfect for Halloween!

And there you have it! A list of 13 of my favorite Halloween tracks! Now, this is just an example of my ideal Halloween songs, but there are many more out there and I’m well aware of that. So before you jump in to say, “What about [blank]?!” please keep in mind that my list contains selected suggestions for your spooktacular October and isn’t by any means a complete list of all Halloween-themed, scary music.
On that note, here is wishing you a BOO-tiful Halloween season full of screams and good fears!