Night of the Demons (2010)

Having experienced so many bad remakes, I was expecting the worst from Adam Gierasch’s Night of the Demons remake. I thought it would be a cheap rip-off, filled with pointless gore and tons of gratuitous T&A. I was expecting to be bored and possibly pissed while watching the film because although Kevin Tenney’s original isn’t the greatest horror movie ever made, it’s still a ton of fun and is a classic in its own right.

So color me surprised when I sat down to watch the flick and it was actually GOOD! I was first grabbed by the great holiday vibe of the film. It opens with a shot of the French Quarter in New Orleans on Halloween night and zooms through the costumed crowds before focusing on trick or treaters, pumpkins and the spooky mansion where all hell will soon break loose. And the decorations! Let’s just say the set design was impeccable in creating the perfect Halloween atmosphere!

Before I get ahead of myself, the plot is as follows:

On Halloween night, a group of twenty-somethings hoping to party the night away get trapped in an old, supposedly cursed mansion and unwittingly release demons who hope to possess and ultimately kill them.

Yup, it’s pretty close to the original story, but the remake actually takes the time to develop both the story and the characters more. It also explains the demons and how they came to be trapped in the house and what their intentions are in possessing the characters. I loved the backstory on the mansion and the setting of New Orleans. The story even manages to mix in some voodoo, hoodoo and black magic into its proceedings.

Not only was the story engaging, but the characters were also likable! I loved the party-girl twist they gave Angela (played by Shannon Elizabeth) and how each of the characters was more developed than in the original. They each had complicated relationships that added to the intensity of the film. Plus, the cast of mostly-recognizable faces (Edward Furlong, Monica Keena, Bobbi Sue Luther, etc.) did a fantastic job! There are even small cameos by genre-favorites Tiffany Shepis and Linnea Quigley (who starred in the original).

Once again, I absolutely adored the set design. The Halloween party at the abandoned mansion was amazing-looking, the costumes were great, and the killer soundtrack featuring Type O Negative, Zombie Girl, 45 Grave, Creature Feature, etc., added even more atmosphere. In fact, I realllllly wish they would release a Night of the Demons soundtrack because it would make a great backdrop to my own Halloween party!

The fun party atmosphere doesn’t last long, because the cops break up the party and only a small group remains…and it is they who inadvertently release the demons. And once that happens, all hell breaks loose! Speaking of the demons, their makeup was pretty impressive. I liked how each of the demons looked different as well. The only “look” I didn’t really dig was Angela’s – on her I actually prefer the original makeup. Besides the cool makeup FX, there are also plenty of creepy moments in the film, like when the demons crawl on the ceiling in a long, dark corridor and a demon reaches out of the darkness to snatch one of the characters. And, before you ask, yes, the infamous “lipstick scene” is alive and well in the remake, with its own new spin!

Going back to the story, writers Jace Anderson and Adam Gierasch did a fantastic job explaining the backstory of the mansion, its earlier inhabitants and the demons. I appreciated the mix of voodoo, hoodoo and black magic used in the story, but also appreciated how the survivors used tools around the house to fend off the demons. I thought this detail was very clever of the writers and in the story it works extremely well.

With all that said and done, I must say that Night of the Demons is one of the most fun fright flicks I’ve seen all year. It’s not your typical, dumbed-down horror flick remake, but rather a new take on an old favorite. It is so entertaining, clever and just plain fun that I dare say it even surpasses the original!

Last year horror fans found a new Halloween horror classic with the release of Trick ‘r Treat; this year Night of the Demons is the new Halloween classic!

Buy it on Amazon!

A Christmas Tale (2008)

Part of the 6 Films to Keep You Awake set that was released by Lionsgate in late 2008, A Christmas Tale is set in Spain in December of 1985 and tells the tale of five childhood friends that stumble upon a body of a woman dressed in a Santa suit that’s fallen into a deep hole in the forest. After verifying that she is still alive (by pouring soda on her head) two of the kids go get the police while the other three try to haul her out of the hole with some rope. Once at the police station, the kids are ignored by the town’s cop but find a “wanted” notice for the woman in the hole. She is a dangerous criminal named Rebeca Expósito who recently stole a bunch of money from a bank. They run back to tell the rest of the gang and together they decide to leave her in the hole until she gives up the hiding place of the money. They resort to starving and torturing her to get her to tell them where the money is. Despite their promise to let her go when they get the money, they decide to keep her in the hole, afraid she might come after them for revenge if they let her out.

Meanwhile, a few of the kids are horror fans and decide to reenact a voodoo ritual on the woman that they saw in a zombie film. Soon after, the kids assume the woman has died but later find she has escaped and they believe her to be a zombie. Undead or not, she is not out for blood against the brats that tortured her.
See, this is why I don’t want kids – they can turn out to be so sadistic! This film takes a supposedly happy-go-lucky, innocent group of kids and makes them the villains. It is so easy for them to torture a human being in the name of greed that you sympathize more with the woman, a violent bank-robber, than with the 12-year-olds. They pelt her with rocks, leave her out in the rain, starve her and taunt her…No wonder she wants to take an ax to them once she escapes!

Yep, this film carries some grim tones, but it isn’t nearly as mean-spirited as say, Eden Lake. Plus, it lightens the tone with early interactions between the Goonie-like gang of characters and the 80′s setting. We get fun references to The Karate Kid, Star Wars, Ghost Busters, that Simon electronic game and even some 80′s music (in Spanish!). Then there are a bunch of horror films you can see in the background in a kid’s room (on VHS!), including Tombs of the Blind Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street, Horror Express and more! So really, despite all their viciousness, this group of kids is pretty likable. Their carefree days of hanging out in their clubhouse, watching horror movies, playing in the woods and riding their bikes come in sharp contrast to the horror they are capable of.

The child actors in the film do a terrific job in A Christmas Tale and never once did I doubt their believability. They all acted and behaved like any 12-year-olds would and even fought amongst themselves as their problems escalated. Their interactions with each other felt very real, like they really were friends in real life. Also, the victim was played very well by Maru Valdivielso. Even though she is a criminal, she still made you feel sorry for her and by the end you did want her to seek revenge on the kids.

Unfortunately, all of the violence we see on-screen is directed at the Valdivielso’s character. She gets pretty trashed in this film and I thought the makeup department did a pretty great job showing her deterioration. The gore is pretty nil except for a impalement, which doesn’t end up being that gory anyway.

The film is beautifully shot by director Paco Plaza (who helped co-direct REC with Jaume Balaguero). Plaza really knows how to capture the feeling of being a kid. The final chase through the empty amusement park is very thrilling and really gives the film some nice tension that earlier scenes lack.

The film does drag on a bit too long in the end and while I appreciated the fun and shocking “second” finale, it felt a little tacked on. Nonetheless, A Christmas Tale was a delight to watch and comes highly recommended!

Available from Amazon!

Masters of Horror - We All Scream for Ice Cream (2007)

Remember the sweet days of summer as a kid? Endless days with no school, spent running through the neighborhood sprinklers, getting into trouble with your group of friends and harassing the nice ice cream man? Ya, those were the days…until they come back to haunt you.

Layne, his wife and his young son and daughter have just moved back to his old hometown. Everything is sweet suburban bliss until his childhood friends start disappearing/dying in suspicious and strange ways. They are seemingly melting, leaving behind only their clothes and a big gooey mess. Children in town are behaving oddly as well, including Layne’s own son and daughter. They wander around at night, waiting for the ice cream man to show up. It seems that when Layne and his buddies were kids, they caused the death of the local ice cream man. Now he’s back…for sweet revenge.

Now, I could go on and on about the disappointing Masters of Horror series, but we’ve been down that road one too many times. Sure, the Masters of Horror haven’t really lived up to their namesakes, but there have been a few episodes that were fairly impressive (sidenote: my personal favorites have been Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns, Coscarelli’s Incident On and Off a Mountain Road and Argento’s Pelts.). Sadly, Tom Holland’s (Fright Night, Child’s Play) We All Scream for Ice Cream just ain’t one of ‘em.

Let me tell ya, if I was still a kid, I wouldn’t come anywhere near a man selling ice cream dressed in a clown suit. Clowns just freak me out and no matter what sweet serenade his ice cream truck played, he would not be able to lure me out from behind the safety of my mom’s apron. The premise of the clown ice cream man was a freakishly frightful idea in my mind, and I really hoped the creepiness factor would be bumped up.

Unfortunately, the clown looks more like a rejected member of the Insane Clown Posse that a scary spook.

Adding to the definitively un-scary atmosphere is the inclusion of voodoo as a means to an end for the all-grown-up gang that accidentally killed the clown. Voodoo can definitely be frightening, mind you, but not when it’s dispatched via a tasty cold treat in the shape of a man.

The acting is subpar, even for a Masters of Horror episode. The only real standout was William Forsythe as the clown. The character might not come off as scary (he’s more of a sympathetic character in my mind), but Forsythe completely envelopes himself in the role. He does such a fine job that he was unrecognizable to me until I saw his name in the credits. The rest of the cast, though, is mediocre to downright awful to watch.

There is little gore in this episode, though one backwoods bathtub scene stands out. The rest of the gore scenes show people rapidly melting into a rainbow-sherbet of slop. Nothing too impressive and the finale is just “meh.”

Tom Holland may have made some great films back in the day, like Child’s Play and Fright Night, but this Masters of Horror episode just goes to show why he hasn’t had a directing gig in quite some time. We All Scream for Ice Cream is a tired, boring entry into the series that you’ll forget about two seconds after watching.

It just goes to show that revenge isn’t always a dish best served cold…

Available from Amazon!

Zombie Nation (2006)

I had successfully avoided all Ulli Lommel films before I was subjected to Zombie Nation. If you haven’t seen a Lommel film, count your lucky stars. If you have, you can probably relate to the pain I felt when watching Zombie Nation, which is one of the worst, if not THE worst, films I’ve ever seen (keep in mind that I haven’t seen any other Lommel films, so this might change.

A corrupt police officer is going around kidnapping and killing young women because he grew up with an abusive mother. His rookie partner grows suspicious when more and more women that the bad cop has pulled over go missing. Meanwhile, hoping to protect herself from the killer, a young woman has voodoo priestesses perform a ritual that will bring her and the killer’s victims back from the dead should she be killed. Sure enough, she’s the killer cop’s next target and when she is dead and buried, she and the other four victims rise to seek revenge.

Seriously, this was one of the biggest crapfests I’ve ever seen and is probably the only movie I’ve watched that has no redeeming values. The story is sloppy, illogical and hard to follow, all the acting is horrible, the direction is incompetent and the special effects are poor, to put it nicely. Add a nice misogynistic tone and you’ve got one awful movie, courtesy of still-making-money-off-his-crappy-movies Lommel. Plus, there are no zombies! And as for a “zombie nation,” forget about it!

The film seems to be split in two parts - the first part feels like a buddy-cop movie gone wrong, while the last part deals with the “zombies” and the revenge aspect of the movie. Neither of the parts flows smoothly and a two-year-old could tell a more cohesive story and one that actually makes sense. The story is bad enough, but the dialogue is even worse. I’ve heard smarter things come out of a drunken frat boy’s mouth than the crap I heard in Zombie Nation!

While the actors didn’t have much to work with in the story or dialogue departments, they could have at least delivered their lines with a bit more gusto or believability and developed their characters. The film is ripe with horrible performances, from the bad cop who is supposedly from Alabama but speaks with a German accent to one of the victims who’s performance (I’m using that word loosely!) is completely overacted and unbelievable. I didn’t care for anyone in the movie and the bad cop wasn’t at all intimidating or scary.

The film also has some glaring errors all throughout the production. The “police station” is very obviously just a warehouse, complete with exposed pipes, lighting that can be seen in shots and silly partitioned work spaces. No way and no how would that set ever be believable to anybody with a brain cell. The same warehouse set is used repeatedly for other locations, and while I understand budgetary constraints, at least try and make each set believable and look different! The cops also drive a bright red car. Now, anyone who is pulled over by an unmarked car is just a little nutty! There are way too many mistakes and while little mistakes in films don’t bug me too much, the ones in this film are so glaringly evident that it just adds to the smoldering rubbish pile that is Zombie Nation.

Speaking of zombies, there are none in this film. That is, unless you consider raccoon-eyed, walking, talking and car-driving women zombies. The zombie women don’t look like they have decomposed a bit, and the only sign that they are zombies are the large black circles around their eyes. Or perhaps the rough forest ground they were buried in didn’t allow them enough beauty sleep? Pay no attention to the zombie that is featured on the artwork of the DVD disc; it simply doesn’t exist in the movie. There is no brain eating in the film either and I don’t remember any gore at all.

Obviously, people are still having their eyeballs seared by watching Lommel movies, and he’s still making money off suckers who judge a book by its cover. He sure got me – after looking at the DVD artwork, for a split second I thought this movie might actually be cool…and now I will forever pay the price. My eyeballs are still aching from watching this total waste of time. You’ve been warned…

Available on Amazon!