Death of a Ghost Hunter (2008)

Ever since The Blair Witch Project there have been a plethora of “found footage” faux documentaries. Some are good while others are just groan-worthy. Can you guess which category Death of a Ghost Hunter falls into?

Death of a Ghost Hunter is about paranormal investigator Carter Simms (Patti Tindall) investigating a supposedly haunted house. The history of the house is that an entire family was slaughtered there, including husband, young son and daughter. Supposedly, when the mother discovered them all dead she blew her brains out because she couldn’t deal with their deaths. There have been reports of a haunting ever since this tragedy. The owner of the house, who has never lived there himself, tells Carter she will be joined by a few other people to help her document anything that occurs.

I wasn’t expecting much out of this movie, but the first half hour or so was actually pretty promising. We found out the whole cursed history of the house and one of the investigators (a 20-something church girl who was there to ensure the dead were “honored”) becomes especially affected by the surroundings. There is also a very creepy moment where the investigators discover something in their footage (a little hand gripping a doorframe and a small head slowly peering around – ya, it’s on the DVD cover) that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end!

However, this was the ONLY scary part of the film and the rest just went downhill from there. The other “ghostly” appearances were too obvious and the special FX looked lame. The best films make you believe something is there but either don’t show it or only show a peek, but in most of Death of a Ghost Hunter they show too much and it ruins the tense mood of the first part of the film.

Also ruining the mood were the many plot holes and plot inconsistencies. When the investigators found a bunch of incriminating photos I practically threw up my hands and said, “Right. Like the police wouldn’t have found those!” Or how the police couldn’t have figured out the killer from all the forensic evidence.

When the mood is ruined for the rest of the film I pretty much stopped caring about the characters. I thought the actors all gave okay performances, but their characters were written just kinda blah. A huge backstory wasn’t necessarily needed, but something that would make the audience relate to them would have been nice and perhaps make us care for them more.

To top it all off, the “finale” dragged on for far too long and really should have ended with the death of a ghost hunter (I’m not giving anything away, it’s all there in the title!). Instead, it was drawn out for another 20 minutes or so (all I know is that it felt like FOR-evvvver!). At this point I just wanted the movie to end, but it just kept going and going and going…

I will say that the “Jesus box” (a huge box with crucifixes all over it that is worn over the head and has an eyehole to see out of) used throughout the film and prominently in the end was pretty creepy.  However, that and the previous scare I mentioned do not make a good movie all on their own. This film was just riddled with too many pacing, storyline, character and mood problems to call it a good (or even okay) film. I understand the limitations of plot, but if they had stayed away from the cheesy ghost visuals (with the exception of that first scare) and beefed up their story a little bit and shortened the ending I think it would have made a much better film. As it stands, though, Death of a Ghost Hunter is a weak entry into the faux documentary subgenre.

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Open Graves (2010)

You would think that after so many horror movies, characters would know not to accept gifts/directions/help from creepy locals – especially if the local treated you like a stupid tourist one minute but is overly friendly and generous the next. Well, the dense characters in Open Graves have either never seen a horror movie or are just plain dumb, because they have no problem accepting a cursed board game from a local, even when it’s under suspicious circumstances.

You see, the game, entitled Mamba, is an ancient game made by priests out of the skin and body parts of a condemned witch. Anyone who plays it is subject to the game’s fickle cards, so if you die in the game you die in real life. The winner, though, will have the ability to have his or her wish granted. Of course, the characters don’t exactly know this when they decide to play the game one drunken night, but when they start dropping like flies, they realize that the game is causing their untimely deaths. Then it’s a race against time to try and beat the game…and ultimately cheat death.

I have to give it to Lionsgate, the premise of Open Graves sounded pretty solid on paper and the first few minutes, featuring the torture of the condemned witch and the creation of the Mamba game, had me hooked. From there, though, everything went south…fast. One of the biggest affronts was the “development” (or lack thereof) of the characters. They were basically portrayed as vapid, stupid people who only cared about getting laid, getting drunk and getting high. I know the studio is trying to skew to teen audiences, but c’mon! Just once I’d like to see one of these types of films feature smart, savvy characters. Also, the characters were supposed to be “international surfers” (the film is set in Spain) but never once did I see any surfing going on. I don’t know why writers Bruce A. Taylor and Roderick Taylor decided to stick that into the story, but it was another completely pointless shtick among many other plots holes, like the fact that the game was written in English when it had its origins in the Spanish Inquisition or the lame subplot featuring a desperate detective hunting down the game.

My enjoyment of the film just plummeted after the dumbed-down characters were introduced and I begin to notice all the plot holes. My interest deteriorated even more when I witnessed the poor execution by director Álvaro de Armiñán. Nothing in the direction stood out as making this film memorable. The most memorable thing about it was how close the kill scenes were to the Final Destination films. You know the set up – character enters a room/area where there are a bunch of objects made to look threatening, but the thing that kills him or her comes out of nowhere (like snakes dropping out of the sky…who the hell thought that was a clever idea?). Yup, Open Graves was chock full of these annoying scenes, and since they are so familiar, there was no chance of suspense or scares.

Speaking of the kill scenes, the final straw to this awful film was the horrible CGI they used for the truly ridiculous kills. For example, ridiculousness meets bad CGI animals when one guy gets pushed off a cliff by a firefly (I kid you not – and the firefly is kinda like the mascot for the Mamba game and it reappears throughout the film) and then is eaten by blood-thirsty crabs. Another example would be when another character has black mamba snakes drop out of the sky(!) and chase him through a lumberyard before he succumbs to their venom. Then there is the big “twist” of a finale, which again, is just ludicrous and features CGI on-par with a SyFy release (hey, what-do-you-know, Open Graves WAS released on SyFy!) that just makes you role your eyes and shout to the heavens “WHY?” The only outstanding death in the whole film was when a girl met her end in a fiery car crash and tried to crawl out while her whole body was a mass of charred skin still on fire. Nonetheless, this scene doesn’t make up for the atrociousness of the rest of the film.

Not even a phoned-in performance from Eliza Dushku makes this worth a look. Keep Open Graves closed and let this film rest in peace.

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Book Review: The Black Act by Louise Bohmer

The Black Act by Louise Bohmer is a novel that opens a brand new whimsical world for fantasy and dark literature lovers. This novel establishes a whole new exciting mythology full of new creatures in a unique world.

The book explores the themes of forgiveness vs. condemnation, the strength of family vs. the strength of fate and doing what is right vs. the pull of the forbidden. The black acts discussed in the book span many generations of a particular witch family and show how one particular “black act” has cursed them.

The present day story opens with young witch, or Wise Women-in-training, twins Anna and Claire. They are being raised in the sacred valley of the mythical Wood People to learn how to use their inherited magical gifts for good. Yet a shocking ancestral secret threatens to unravel their peaceful existence. Anna starts having violent visions of her past kin while Claire starts acting out more and more and even starts secretly seeing a satyr in the woods.

As Claire threatens to bring the era of the Wise Women to a violent end through her actions, we get the backstory of the twins’ ancestors and see what black act marred their lineage and what exactly must be done to stop the curse.

Bohmer has created an enchanting and intriguing new world with the novel The Black Act. I love how she revisited many mythological creatures, like satyrs, and magically inclined humans, like witches, but added her own unique spin on them. The satyrs became these mysterious creatures literally made out of the elements of the earth, like bark, vines, dirt, moss and mushrooms. The witches had their own complex history of how and why they came to be and their own set of sacred oaths. I particularly loved the history of the whole land and how the Wood People (the mythological creatures) and the Dalthwein Clans (the humans, including the Wise Women) had fought many battles because of the hatred from a long ago human king before forming the fragile peace they have now. The rich history really wraps the story together and pulls you further into the complex mythology.

The novel is written deftly by Bohmer and she enthralls you with not only her unique mythology but also her engaging writing style. Her highly detailed descriptions of the Wood People make them both fascinating and frightening and her human characters are so developed that you feel like you know them. The book pulled me in from the opening pages and I finished it in merely two sittings!

The only thing I wasn’t too fond of was the last part of the book, where the two main characters of Anna and Claire, whom I cared about and emotionally invested in, are suddenly dropped and the rest of the tale is told by their descendant. Plus, the villains of the book, the ghosts of the two evil men who committed the first black act and started the curse, just don’t suffer enough for all the turmoil and death they’ve caused. I wanted their ends to be sweetly satisfying, but they get off far too easily and didn’t satiate my hunger for their blood!

Despite this issues, I still thoroughly enjoyed The Black Act and think that fantasy and dark literature fans will be enthralled with Louise Bohmer’s debut novel. I cannot wait to see what Bohmer does next with the memorable mythology she has created!

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The Curse of Micah Rood (2009)

The Curse of Micah Rood is a short film based on an old and true Connecticut legend of cursed apples that have a pattern that looks like a blood stain in their center. The legend dates back to 17^th century Connecticut, and the variety of apple was available up until the 1930’s.

Filmmaker Alec Asten has stayed true to the original legend of Micah Rood and constructed an eerie short film on the supposed true events.

The film begins in 17^th century Connecticut and hard-working farmer Micah Rood. Rood is obsessed with his apple orchard, which yields some of the sweetest fruit in New England, and he is convinced the townspeople are stealing from him. Because of this, he distrusts pretty much anyone and has become a recluse. His suspicions are further aroused when a traveling peddler comes to his farm and seeks shelter. He seems overly interested in Rood’s apples, putting Rood on the defensive. The next morning Rood discovers that the peddler has stolen apples from him and exacts swift and brutal justice underneath his prize apple tree. Obsession and madness soon follow when the apples are discovered to be tainted in their middles with blood-like splotches.

Filmmaker Alec Asten has crafted a taut and intriguing short film that is also visually rich. The unique story, with the screenplay by Nick Checker, is one that hasn’t been explored before and it makes for an eerily haunting film. The fact that the film is based on a true story makes it that much more interesting. The Micah Rood apple, with its distinctive bloody spot in its middle, mysteriously appeared in conjunction with the legend, but the last known variety of the apple tree was destroyed by a hurricane in the 1930’s. Still, its strange markings have never been scientifically explained and there have never been any other apple varieties like it.

Besides the rich story, the film is wrapped in an ominous tension that keeps building until the startling finale. The cinematography by Marc Wishengrad is filled with stark tones, flickering shadows and splashes of vibrant color, all which help build suspense and create a spooky atmosphere. I especially loved the shots of blood dripping from the apple trees.

The acting was also surprisingly good, especially for a low-budget film. Ron Palillo, best known for playing “Horshack” in the ‘70s show Welcome Back Kotter, does well playing Micah Rood, though sometimes the character’s thick Scottish accent gives the short an unintentionally comic feel. Some of the dialogue feels a bit heavy-handed and melodramatic at times, but other than those two problems I enjoyed this short very much.

The Curse of Micah Rood is an excellent short film that relies on psychological thrills as opposed to copious blood and gore. If you dig historical horror stories that are based on true legends, The Curse of Micah Rood is a very engaging film to check out!

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Book Review: Creeping Shadows - Three Dark Tales

Creeping Shadows is a novella anthology that contains three different stories from authors Alan Draven, Brandon Ford and Jessica Lynne Gardner. The novellas differ from historical supernatural horror, to a story based on recent true events to a tale about an ancient Aztec curse. I loved the variety of the stories and how they each offered something completely different to readers!

The first story, Vengeance is Mine by Alan Draven, re-envisions the the tale of Jack the Ripper. The infamous Whitechapel butcher, whose actual name is Vincent Fowler in this story, starts off attending the prestigious Royal Academy of Surgeons of England but gets kicked out for a distasteful prank as well as his low social rank (his mother was a prostitute and he feels the Academy has always looked down upon him for that shameful fact). After traveling to America, Fowler returns many years later to seek his vengeance on London and begins killing prostitutes. Yet, as much as he relishes spilling their blood and bodily organs, he begins to be haunted by a specter of one of his victims…and this ghost just won’t quit until she gets revenge!

I really enjoyed how masterfully Draven wove true facts throughout his fictional story, even paying attention to the little details! The whole class war aspect of the Jack the Ripper case, in which he was supposedly trying to draw the attention of the aristocrats the the poorer areas of London, was even explored! And his hatred of prostitutes is very well established as his own mother was one. As someone who is very much interested in the macabre Jack the Ripper case, I definitely appreciated Draven’s careful following of the facts in the case and how his own interjections fit squarely into the facts as well.

Furthermore, the novella was very quickly paced and a very exciting read. It was interesting to get to take a peek inside Jack the Ripper’s head and see exactly what he might have been thinking. Plus, the gory killing scenes were quite shocking, even if you already knew all about the case and its victims. The inclusion of the supernatural was an added treat!

The next novella, Merciless by Brandon Ford, was probably my least favorite and didn’t seem to quite fit within the other two novella’s supernatural themes. It is based on a true story about two young high school girls abducted by a madman. They are brutally raped and beaten within an inch of their lives, but they work together to try and escape the madman’s clutches, even as he drives them further and further away from anything familiar.

There is no doubt that Merciless is a horrifying story, but its unfortunately something we read about in the news every day (the original story it is based on is here) and I don’t necessarily want to read about it in my leisure time. While the story is well-written, it just doesn’t offer anything new or original like the other two stories contained in this anthology. Still, this is more personal preference and there is no denying the talent of Ford’s writing…I just wish the subject matter had been a bit more engaging.

The last story, Sugar Skull by Jessica Lynne Gardner, is probably my favorite of the anthology. Someone or something is killing Latinos with a rare poison that the police can’t track down. The victims all had a sugar skull shoved down their throats coated with what appears to be a Central American poison. When Annabel’s father is also found dead, she, with the help of her mother and a forensic specialist, must track down the killer, who appears to be tied to an ancient Aztec curse.

Sugar Skull was a fantastic story that I just couldn’t put down! More so than the other novellas in the anthology, I found myself glued to the pages of Sugar Skull, rooting for the characters to solve the supernatural case! I really loved the uniqueness of the story and appreciated that the author used Dia De Los Muertos and Aztec legends as the backdrop for the tale. I also thought that the villain turned out to be very frightening! I still get the heebie jeebies when I think about it! I also enjoyed the tragic backstory of the villain and the sacrifice it took to finally stop the killings.

Creeping Shadows is an extremely engaging, creative and worthwhile anthology. It definitely lives up to its title and you will definitely be checking over your shoulder after reading the stories contained in Creeping Shadows! I highly recommend this book to pretty much all horror fans, because it definitely has something for everyone!

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Thankskilling (2009)

Horror fans don’t have a lot (if any) options when it comes to horror-themed Thanksgiving holiday movies. When Eli Roth’s faux Thanksgiving trailer was seen during the Grindhouse double-feature in 2007, interest in a feature-length Thanksgiving-themed movie only grew (speaking of which, Roth’s horrifying holiday vision is supposedly in the works).

Well, now horror fans have another option with Thankskilling, and independent production from In Broad Daylight Pictures being released November 17^th, 2009. Thankskilling comes off as a wacky Troma film, filled with bad acting, ridiculous situations, silly one-liners and hell, a talking turkey! You definitely need a sense of humor to get through Thankskilling, just like you need one to get through seeing your relatives during the holidays.

Thankskilling is about a group of friends that drive home for Thanksgiving, but inadvertently find themselves and their community terrorized by a talking, killer turkey. The turkey was resurrected 510 years after a Native American placed a curse on the pilgrims after the very first Thanksgiving.

Dear lord, I’m sure glad I was in a Vicodin haze while watching Thankskilling. This is a campy, over-the-top film that is completely silly and isn’t to be taken seriously. The best parts are when the turkey is on screen…he is completely hilarious! There is even a part where he skins and wears someone’s face a la Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre that’s pretty awesome! And take a look at some of the gut-busting lines he utters: “I’m gonna drink your blood like cranberry sauce” after threatening one of the characters or “You just got stuffed!” after raping a character or the infamous “gobble, gobble motherfucker!”

The rest of the characters are all basically brain dead and are intended to poke fun at all the stereotypical horror situations. There’s the slob of a redneck, the nerdy bookworm, the jock, the slutty airhead and the Final Girl. The characters’ parents all play minor parts in the film as well, and I really enjoyed the silly Sheriff’s character!

Of course, some of the acting is pretty bad, but most of the actors are decent. I really enjoyed Chuck Lamb as Sheriff Roud and Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson as the redneck Billy. And whoever voiced the turkey was just brilliant!

Some situations are so unbearably stupid, though, that my disbelief was wayyy too suspended. For example, a dog peeing on the turkey’s grave resurrects him. Really? Writers Kevin Stewart and Jordan Downey couldn’t think of anything more creative than that to bring back the killer turkey? Or how unbelievably dumb the characters are in certain situations (hmmm if a turkey was wearing my dad’s face you’d think I’d notice!). I understand that this was the tone for the film and part of its appeal, but if you don’t enjoy horror-comedy hybrids that are this outrageous, you probably won’t enjoy Thankskilling.

For a low budget film, I really was impressed with the look of the killer turkey. Besides being hilarious, he also looked pretty awesome. I believe they used a puppet, and whenever he spoke it did indeed look realistic. The gory effects were pretty good too…I especially enjoyed when one of the characters ate the turkey and the turkey ate its way out through his stomach! The skinned face of one of the characters looked pretty realistic as well. And the turkey used an electric carver, a meat thermometer and other Thanksgiving utensils as killing tools! Unfortunately, there were some instances of CGI that were noticeable, but luckily these weren’t too numerous or distracting.

If you enjoy campy horror-comedies in the vein of over-the-top Troma releases, you just may count Thankskilling as one of your blessings this Thanksgiving. If those aren’t your thing, though, you way want to steer as clear of Thankskilling as you would dry turkey and nosy relatives!

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The Devil's Nightmare (1971)

Another little seen Satanic film from 1971 is The Devil’s Nightmare (La Plus Longue Nuit du Diable) aka Castle of Death aka Nightmare of Terror aka Succubus, etc., etc. Usually only familiar in Euro-sleaze or Euro-horror circles, The Devil’s Nightmare is a surprisingly entertaining flick dripping with gothic atmosphere and surreal scenes.

The film begins during WWII, where the Baron’s wife is giving birth. Upon learning that the babe is a girl and that his wife died in childbirth, he stabs the baby to death. Quite a shocking opening from a 1970’s film!

We then jump ahead a few years, where a reporter is interviewing the Baron in his dark and dreary castle about his family’s past. He seems to think his family is cursed, having made a pact with the Devil centuries ago that states the oldest daughter of each generation must serve the devil by becoming a succubus (and explaining the earlier scene where he killed his daughter). After this illuminating interview, the reporter makes the mistake of tarrying too long taking photographs of the castle and meets a grisly end. We then meet a group of travelers who are forced to take refuge in the Baron’s castle after becoming lost and taking directions from a creepy, corpse-like man. Each of these seven travelers is supposed to represent one of the Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride), though some are easier to distinguish than others.

That night, they are introduced to a mysterious visitor (played by stunning redhead Erika Blanc, known for her sleazy Euro-horror roles in films like The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave and Kill, Baby… Kill!), who begins to lead each traveler down the road of temptation! Turns out she is a succubus and lures the sinners to their damnation with their specific vices. The only one who doesn’t fall under her decadent-but-deadly spell is the lone priest in the group, but can he stop her and the Devil before all their souls are damned to Hell?

While the story, written by Jean Brismée (who also directed) and Pierre-Claude Garnier, seems like a pretty straightforward allegory inspired by medieval morality tales, it also features a surprising and clever twist ending. I definitely didn’t see the ending coming, and when it actually happened it threw me for a loop! Quite the wicked little surprise that shows you should never make a deal with the Devil! Besides the ending, the story is kept lively by the colorful and sinful characters, keeping the audience rooting for their deaths! There is the annoying married couple, with the sleazy husband who covets other women (Envy) and the distrustful yet rich wife (Greed), a nymphomaniac brunette (Lust), a lazy blonde (Sloth), a holier-than-thou priest (Pride), a cranky old man (Wrath) and a hungry tour guide (Gluttony).

There isn’t much gore to speak of, but some of the ways the travelers are done away with are pretty amusing. The glutton of the group eats himself to death and chokes on poisoned wine (and the close-ups of him stuffing his greasy mouth are probably the most disturbing of the movie) while a greedy woman drowns in a mound of gold. Other kill scenes make little sense and don’t seem to tie into the specific person’s sin (like the Sloth woman dying from snakebite while she sleeps). Still, the scenes of the succubus stalking her prey, with her sunken cheekbones and ghoulish makeup, are always entertaining.

I also enjoyed the Baron’s creepy gothic castle that looked like it was transplanted straight from Transylvania. With its intricate stonework, gaudy Baroque furnishings and rich red drapes, Dracula would have felt right at home! Of course, Satan’s succubus considered it pretty comfy as well.

My only complaints were that the film drags a bit too much in certain parts, especially during some drawn-out lesbian scenes that go on for way too long. Maybe certain guys will enjoy them, but the soft-focus, girl-on-girl action did nothing for me, especially with the ridiculous paisley decorating scheme and the horrible ‘70s music lurking in the background. I also wished that some of the deaths tied more into each traveler’s particular sin instead of running out of ideas halfway through the film and having them die in seemingly random ways.

Though The Devil’s Nightmare certainly has its faults, I was still surprised by the entertainment value it offered. This film isn’t for everyone, but those that appreciate classic Euro-horror will most likely get a kick out of it. If you haven’t seen it, it at least deserves one viewing! It would be a sin not to see it!

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Book Review: Dark Lullaby by Mayra Calvani

Dark Lullaby is a modern-day dark fairy tale, but not like your typical Disney happily-ever-after BS. Instead, this dark tale is like traditional folklore from Eastern Europe, dark, unsettling, mysterious and shocking. The supernatural villain in this book is unlike anything I’ve ever heard of or seen before in the horror genre, creating an aura of exotic mystery along with the distant setting of Turkey.

The tale starts with Gabriel fresh out of a three year relationship with Liz. The two remain close friends and have met up at a local bar for drinks and philosophical discussion of good vs. evil. The alluring and mysterious Kamilah soon joins them, and Gabriel is entranced by her beauty as well as her discussions on human nature. Liz gets a bad feeling about Kamilah, but Gabriel soon falls head over heels in love with her. Though he can’t deny there is something unsettling about her, he just can’t seem to get her out of his mind.

Though his twin sister, Elena, is having a stressful pregnancy across the pond in Europe and Gabriel is supposed to be at the birth in a week, he agrees to go with Kamilah to her home land of Turkey for a little R and R at her family’s cottage deep in the woods. When he arrives with Kamilah in Turkey, he feels cut off from both his sister and Liz and begins to feel more unsettled by Kamilah’s petulant child-like behavior and unnerved by several strange occurrences. Gabriel begins to believe that Kamilah wants harm to come to both Elena’s unborn child and Liz. Is Kamilah someone…or something…truly evil and what are her true intentions?

Though author Mayra Calvani has written many books over a wide span of genres, this was my first encounter with the woman’s writing. Though I felt that the opening pages of the book, where Liz and Gabriel are having a philosophical debate, were a bit weak, I was soon transported into a frightening story that had a tendency to crawl under my skin and squirm long after I put the book down.

The foreboding atmosphere of the novel was really helped by the location of exotic Turkey. It really felt like the family cottage of Kamilah, surrounded by primordial forest, was straight out of an enchanted fairy tale. Then there were the quaint, cobblestone streets of the local town and the dazzling blue of the Black Sea in the distance to add to the location’s mystique. All the supernatural events that occurred to Gabriel after their arrival in Turkey felt very apropos in such a mysterious locale.

I also thought the intriguing characters added a lot to the story. Gabriel, with all his talk of reason, is a very emotional man at heart and during his trip with Kamilah his emotions are used against him to draw him further into her tangled web. Kamilah, though a whiny brat, knows how to get her way and has a very dangerous presence. I also liked the subplots involving Elena, suffering anxiety and a sense of dread during her last few weeks of pregnancy, and Liz, suffering psychological torment at the hands of an unseen assailant. Other characters stood out as well, including a Turkish witch that tries to warn Gabriel what Kamilah really is and a young boy and his abusive father whom Gabriel feels a special connection to.

As for the scares, there are many scenes that will give you chills! One that hits you hard is close to the beginning of the story where Gabriel thinks he sees something horribly strange…Kamilah’s feet on backwards! Other favorites include creepy scenes in the Turkish woods when Gabriel follows the sounds of babies crying to some very disturbing trees, an unexpected attack from a swarm of bees and a stunning finale.

Dark Lullaby is a quick-paced, fun summer read for when you need a good chill! Its basis in Turkish mythology makes it unique and the splendid setting of Turkey doesn’t get much more exotic! The supernatural tale has plenty of nightmarish imagery to keep you up at night, but the “thriller” aspects of the story make it a good read for horror fans and non-horror fans alike! There is just enough romance and intrigue to interest those who aren’t necessarily horror fans, but also enough supernatural elements and scares to keep the spooky kids entertained.

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Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Drag Me To Hell is Sam Raimi’s triumphant return to the horror genre…and what a fun, exciting homecoming it is for horror fans! The film sees Raimi returning to his well-known horror comedy roots and brings us some of those Evil Dead-like funny frights we love. He walks a razor-thin line between slapstick and scares, but in Drag Me To Hell he makes it look effortless. One minute the audience is screaming and the next moment they are laughing. I can say with assurance that Drag Me To Hell is definitely the most fun you’ll have in a theater this summer!

The premise is simple enough – while trying to get a promotion, Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) puts her conscience on hold and denies an old gypsy woman, Mrs. Ganush (Lorna Raver), an extension on her house payment. Since Christine has “shamed” her, Mrs. Ganush places a curse her. In three days the evil demon Lamia will come for her soul…but during those three days Christine will be endlessly tormented by the dark spirit. Can Christine find a way to break the curse before she is dragged to hell?

The joy in watching the film is not knowing what is coming next, so I won’t overly explain the finer points and surprises within the plot. Wow, oh wowie, though! This film certainly doesn’t give you any moment to catch your breath, but keeps barreling along like a bullet train to hell! There is always something happening, from some nasty scenes involving phlegm, maggots and a leaky corpse to a nosebleed that begins as a trickle but explodes into an arterial spray to a menacing handkerchief to plenty of creepy sounds and sudden shadowy appearances by the demon. Moment to moment the movie kept me on the edge of my seat, literally clinging to the arm rests, while I alternately jumped and laughed.

Besides the breakneck, tension-filled pace, I (and everyone in the full theater I saw it in) enjoyed the slapstick humor that worked remarkably well alongside the horror. There were many moments of laugh-out-loud funniness (most often followed by a jolt that had you jumping out of your seat!) along with the plentiful gross-out, “ewwwwwwwwww!!!” scenes involving the bodily functions and bugs mentioned above and much, much more, including a granny gumming someone’s chin, an eyeball flying into a mouth, flies crawling in and out of body orifices and so on! I don’t know how he does it so well, but Raimi manages to both freak and gross you out at the same time!

While the story (written by Sam Raimi and his brother Ivan Raimi) is simple and doesn’t rely on twists and turns to keep the tension taut, it still keeps your eyes glued to the screen. There are carefully placed details throughout the film that definitely come in handy towards the end when everything starts adding up. Though the finale does feature a bit of a twist that is easy to see coming, it is nonetheless entertaining and satisfying to watch! The ending isn’t one I expected, but is surprisingly uncompromising and downbeat.

As for the direction, it is vintage Raimi circa 1981. There are lots of swooping, fast-moving pans and zooms that make you feel like you are on a rollercoaster ride as opposed to just watching a film. It always feels like  something frightening is going to be waiting in the shot as the camera pans back and forth…and, BOO! there is! No one has been able to replicate Raimi’s direction, and I don’t think anyone every could make it such a fun ride as he does, especially in Drag Me To Hell!

Along with the fantastic directing job Raimi delivers and the stupendously simple yet no less entertaining story he co-wrote with his brother Ivan, the actors also shine in this fun flick. Alison Lohman makes the transition from sweet country girl trying to fit into big city life to animal-sacrificing, determined-to-live heroine in a very natural way. I also enjoyed Justin Long in the role of Christine’s supportive but skeptical boyfriend and Dileep Rao as the psychic Rham Jas. The real stand-out, of course, was Lorna Raver as the old gypsy woman, Mrs. Ganush. Her captivating performance was nothing short of amazing! The new catchphrase for summer? “You shame me!”

For those of you concerned about the PG-13 rating, let me assure you that the film does not suffer for it! There are plenty of ooey-gooey scenes that’ll have you squirming in your seat and this film simply doesn’t need heavy-handed gore for it to be effective. It is no way “dumbed-down” for tween and teen audiences, but instead captures Raimi at his very best, combining outlandish comedy scenes with balls-out horror.

Drag Me To Hell is one hell of a movie that you should be running out to see! So quit dragging your feet and get yourself to a theater to see this fantastically fun and hellaciously horrific film NOW, before you shame me!!

Available from Amazon!

Wicked Business (2009)

The biggest problem indie filmmakers have? They don’t know how to construct a horror film! Sure, they’ve seen enough films to know the main components of a film, but they don’t know how to put those pieces together. When I received Wicked Business, it promised “a mix between The Office, Final Destination and 24.” Problem is, filmmaker Michael Evanichko just doesn’t know how to tell a story and the end result is that Wicked Business is a dull film that bears little to no resemblance to the three titles mentioned above.

The film is about a group of employees at a debt collection agency who all receive a mysterious death curse in the mail. One-by-one, they begin to die in ways that appear accidental. Can the remaining few figure out who put the curse on them and how to break it before it is too late?

First off, the filmmakers’ claim that Wicked Business is similar to The Office, but there is little to no humor within the film. The only resemblance is that the characters work crappy cubicle jobs. And I don’t understand the claimed resemblance to 24 at all except for the unnecessary use of split-screens. The most accurate comparison would be to Final Destination, but even that doesn’t quite add up because unlike in Final Destination, the deaths in Wicked Business aren’t all that memorable or gruesome.

Now that I’ve kvetched about the claims about the film, I want to address the main problem with it…the storyline and how it is told on film. From the drawn-out introduction that does nothing to pique your interest in the story to the repetitive conversations between underdeveloped characters to the lackluster ending, the film is just a snoozefest and could have benefited from some heavy-handed editing. There definitely wasn’t enough of a story here to make a feature-length film and I think it could have been much more effective had it been a short film.

Writer Michael Evanichko, who also directed, failed to create any suspense and the pacing was excruciatingly slow. The characters kept talking about the same things over and over (like asking, “should we go to the police?” about a million times – and even when they should have gone they didn’t) as well as discussing inane things that had nothing to do with moving the story along. Worse still, the film felt more of like a drama and lacked horror and suspense. There were only a few kills (with none of them being especially memorable, though the gore was decent) and the most interesting aspect of the film, the death curse, was only vaguely discussed at the very end of the film.

The direction by Evanichko was pretty much point-and-shoot and its lack of pizazz only added to the dullness of the film. Keep in mind, the direction is competent, but it just lacks charisma that should draw you into the movie. Something interesting that was done in the film was to add split/multi-screens, but I found these unnecessary in the context and even distracting. The split-screens only showed characters doing mundane things instead of using them to create tension or suspense, so they were pretty much wasted.

Speaking of the characters, they lacked definition and weren’t even properly introduced to the audience. In the beginning I could hardly distinguish who the main protagonists were or who I was supposed to be rooting for. As the film progressed, I never really felt a connection with the characters and so I didn’t care what happened to them. The actors all did a competent job with what they had to work with, but they all lacked a spark and none of them really grabbed my attention.

Wicked Business sounded like a cool concept, but without proper storytelling technique it just fails to deliver and instead put me to sleep. The death curse aspect of the film, which I believe was its most interesting idea, is pushed aside until the very end in favor of showing boring characters yakking away. There is no suspense, no tension, no scares and no sympathy for any of the characters. The story just feels like it was constructed sloppily and because of this the 90 minute film feels like it goes on and on and on, something you never want to experience while watching a film.

Book Review: Curse of the Tarantula by Mike Segretto

It’s the swinging sixties in Hollywood, but Burton Lazlow is a washed up old actor, best known for his portrayal as “The Tarantula” in the 1940’s horror films. His star has faded over the years, but his drinking has increased. He spends most of his days lamenting his lost career and cursing fellow British actor Arthur Hollingshead for becoming successful. His wife Kandice, sick of his whining, leaves him and all the acting work his agent can get him involves Lazlow donning the black cape and fangs of his Tarantula character for burger commercials. With his life seemingly spiraling down the drain, Lazlow snaps and begins having wild hallucinations. When he kills someone during one of his episodes, Lazlow flees Hollywood and goes back to his home country of England, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake.

Lazlow ends up in London and takes up with a group of mods, who revere him for his newly found infamous status as celebrity murderer. Lazlow ends up taking on the persona of The Tarantula and with the help of the mods, plans to kill his arch-nemesis, Sir Arthur Hollingshead and anyone else he thinks is out to get him.

Curse of the Tarantula is a swinging good time full of memorable characters and zippy dialogue. Author Mike Segretto really captures the feel of the 60’s, whether the setting is glam Hollywood or mod London.

I love how the characters come to life, whether they are in Lazlow’s head or not! I love the characters of the mods, with their Vespa scooters and polished looks, as well as the arrogant character of Arthur Hollingshead that is always pestering Lazlow. As for the character of Lazlow, he’s a very interesting fellow and you just want to keep reading to see what happens to him. Although in the beginning of the book he’s a self-pitying alcoholic obsessed with his past and he commits a few murders, you can’t help but feel sorry for the old chap. It is downright sad to see a character like him, a revered horror actor that has fallen so far. Lazlow brings to mind horror greats like Vincent Price that also spent their golden years in obscurity. The character also progresses from pitiful to powerful as he takes on the persona of the Tarantula. His sinister transformation into monster is quite believable as well, thanks to Segretto’s masterful prose.

Author Mike Segretto manages to weave glamorous Hollywood with the gritty streets of London, overrun at the time by young ‘uns calling themselves mods or rockers. The slang that Segretto uses for the mods is spot-on and really brings you into their world of music and fashion. The lingo adds a lot of color to the book, and while some may have taken it overboard, Segretto wisely uses just the right amount to give us a feel for the characters.

I was also struck by how the book doesn’t read like a typical horror book. There are several bloody deaths, but the gore isn’t the main focus of the book. Instead, the characters are at the forefront of the novel. The quirky characters, as briefly discussed above, are what really carry the story. I kept reading just to see what Burton Lazlow would do next and see how the mods would react to his plans.

The pace also moves at a quick clip, propelling the reader further and further into the madly deteriorating mind of Lazlow as he transforms into the Tarantula. The book is a short one, clocking it at in or around 200 or so pages, but it helps that it is so well-written and paced.

Curse of the Tarantula is a breath of fresh air in the cluttered bookshelves of horror literature. Instead of skewing for an over-abundance of gore, Tarantula creeps under your skin and shows that the madness that inside our own minds is far worse than any cloaked monster.

Available from Amazon!

Poultrygeist (2008)

Make sure you’ve got your seat belts fastened tightly, because Poultrygeist is one wild ride. Filled with puke, poop, killer poultry, putrescent gore and plenty of bad nudity, Poultrygeist shows Troma at its trashy (and socially-conscious) best!

Arbie (Jason Yachanin) and Wendy (Kate Graham) vowed they’d always be together…but a year after consummating their love in the Tromahawk Indian Burial Ground Wendy has come back to town a changed woman. She is in town protesting the bulldozing of the burial ground and the erection of fast food joint American Chicken Bunker in its place with her militant girlfriend Mickie (Allyson Sereboff). Yep, Wendy has turned into a lipstick lesbian much to the chagrin of lovesick Arbie. He vows to get her back and promptly takes a job at American Chicken Bunker. He joins the colorful group of employees, including high-strung manager Denny (Joshua Olatunde), backwoods dead chicken f*cker Carl Jr. (Caleb Emerson), gay Mexican Paco Bell (Khalid Rivera), and burka-clad Humus (Rose Ghavami) who has her own prayer mat in the kitchen to pray to Mecca every day.

Besides the angry protesters outside, Arbie and his co-workers must also deal with the angry spirits of displaced Native Americans as well as the souls of all the chickens American Chicken Bunker has slaughtered. Soon, people start ending up dead and/or start turning into horrific (and hungry) chicken-like zombies.

Can Arbie and his friends save the world? More importantly, can Arbie win Wendy back in the process?

Troma’s take-no-prisoners humor is readily apparent in this gloriously low-brow film and everyone from liberals to minorities to huge corporations get skewered. I especially liked how no group was left unscathed…as soon as fun was poked at big corporations, they’d switch it around and start making fun of the protestors standing against big business. Of course, this being a Troma film it’s also heavy on toilet humor…dick and fart jokes abound and this definitely isn’t a film for those easily offended!!

You expect the toilet humor (like a guy having massive diarrhea…from the point of view of the toilet bowl, someone adding his own “special sauce” to the fast food, chicken carcasses getting raped, etc.) from a Troma film, but what surprised me was the high quality of the special FX! The budget for Poultrygeist was pretty low, but they still managed to pull off some amazing effects. Highlights included a zombie hand going through someone’s ass and out their mouth, a meat grinder accident with a spectacular spray of blood, someone’s face getting cut into perfect deli slices in a meat slicer, dozens of people throwing up green puke and tons of other gross-out moments. The effects in the film were impressive and by far some of the best shown in any Troma film in the indie studio’s 35 year career!

Also a personal best for a Troma film was the acting in Poultrygeist. The actors gave it their all here, with very enthusiastic performances. Even though the characters were way over the top, you couldn’t help cheer for them anyway. In the wrong actors’ hands, the quirky characters could have quickly fallen flat…Luckily, we get a near-perfect cast that delivers and hams it up just enough without going too overboard in this over-the-top film! They even manage some fun musical numbers!

Yep, I said musical numbers! These will even be enjoyable to those that normally don’t like musicals (trust me, I watched this film with my musical-hating boyfriend and even he loved it). The lyrics, including songs about sex, bodily fluids, love, and more sex (usually of the anal variety), are just so damn offensive that they are plain hilarious. Plus, the audio is great and the actors can really sing! The songs even manage to propel the narrative along and aren’t just there for schlock value (though they do help!). We even get to see Uncle Lloyd (wearing a skirt, no less) join in on one of the musical numbers as he sings and dances!

Poultrygeist also tackles some socially conscious issues and though they are covered in poop and puke (and chicken feathers), the message still shines clear. The take jabs at big business, fickle and hypocritical protestors, consumerism, American’s fast-food addictions and so on. And through it all you’ll be laughing your ass off…unless you’re blowing chunks, that is!

Poultrygeist is the most fun you’ll have with chicken-zombies, Native American spirits (the ghostly kind, not the alcoholic kind), lesbians, skirt-wearing men and fast food this year! This is a fowl, gross-out movie that super-sizes the fun and comes with an extra side of AWESOME!

Available from Amazon!

The Tattooist (2008)

I’ve always been enamored of tattoo culture and have a few of my own tattoos I’m pretty proud of (always planning on getting more, though), so when I heard about a horror film called The Tattooist I was overly eager to check it out. Everyone looks hotter with tattoos (the film’s poster proved that itself) so I went into The Tattooist thinking that if little else, at least there’d be some wicked-cool tattoos to check out. Surprisingly, The Tattooist was an entertaining flick and not just because of the tattoos on display, though it is a stretch to call it a horror film.

Tattoo artist Jake Sawyer (Jason Behr, looking smokin’ hot) is renowned for using his tattoos to heal people and utilizes symbols from many various cultures and religions to do so. At a tattoo convention in Singapore, he is intrigued by a group of Samoans performing their traditional tatau on a man. Well, truthfully he is intrigued by a woman, Sina (Mia Blake), that is part of the Samoans group. He ends up swiping an old, ritualistic tattoo tool from the Samoans, but when he cuts himself on the tool, he unwittingly releases a vengeful spirit that kills anyone he tattoos by basically flooding their bodies with tattoo ink.

Before Jake realizes he’s got a demon on his back, he heads down to New Zealand to catch up with the Samoans to learn more about their tattooing practices and also to return the tool, which has brought him some wicked visions. He’s also keen on reuniting with Sina. He gets a job and a place to live through an old tattooing buddy at a tattoo shop called Bedlam, but when he starts tattooing clients, they end up dying grisly deaths soon after.

Can Jake figure out how to stop this curse and figure out just who the spirit is before more people die, including the newly inked Sina?

This New Zealand film must be given credit for having a pretty original premise. It’s not too often that you see a horror film whose basis is cursed tattoos or Samoan tribal customs, but The Tattooist manages to do both. Writers Jonathan King (whose name might be familiar because he wrote and directed the hilarious Black Sheep) and Matthew Granger (who was also a contributor to the Black Sheep script) do a great job of acquainting the audience with both the tattoo and Samoan cultures. The fascinating world of Samoan tatau (the originators of the word “tattoo” and perhaps of the art form itself) was especially interesting, delving into their culture and beliefs on the sacred art of tatau and how it is passed from one generation to the next. Any misuse of it can bring great shame on a family, a theme that runs throughout the film and weighs importantly on the climax.

Though I found the film to be engaging, it was pretty tame for my tastes. The R-rating it received mainly comes from the language used throughout the film and not from too much gore or nudity. It really feels like a PG-13 film at heart, with not too many scares or gross-outs for hardcore horror fans. The story played out slowly, more like a thriller or mystery rather than a straight-up horror movie, which will no doubt annoy some. Initially, this lack of scares annoyed me too, but I have to admit I did get wrapped up in the story and did enjoy it for what it was.

One thing that added to the enjoyment of the story was the well-rounded set of characters. Jack Sawyer, played by Jason Behr, comes complete with a troubled childhood (he was raised by a religious zealot that condemned his tattoos and actually cut one off his skin) while Sina, played by Mia Blake, is the strong yet silent type that plays against her cultural role by inviting a white boy into her Samoan home (much to the chagrin of her uncle and cousins). I also enjoyed the little boy who acted as a medium for the spirit to talk through and his two older homies. They had one sweet ride…

The actors all held their own and I can’t say I have any complaints with anyone’s acting. Maybe Jason Behr’s rock-hard abs were distracting me too much, but I think everyone did a great job.

The deaths, though not overly scary or gory, were still pretty cool. The victims’ tattoos would start spreading and branching out across their bodies, then they would start to cough up black ink and eventually die painfully in an inky, bloody pool. The special FX when this happened was flawless and extremely well done. Glimpses of the spirit inflicting the pain can also be seen in several instances (reminiscent of Asian horror spookfests), and these scenes are pretty creepy, but still not scary. The spirit itself looked very cool, though, and not at all hokey. It’s too bad director Peter Burger played it safe and didn’t really give us more of these visually arresting and horrifying images in The Tattooist, which is a pity because the solid story was there. It was also strange how the film was shot in bright, cheery colors as opposed the the dark and drab atmosphere most horror movies are filmed in. This bright and cheery exterior really dampened the overall “scare factor” of the film.

Thought not a very scary horror movie, The Tattooist does have its moments where the story sucks you in and some pretty revealing tidbits on the Samoan culture and tatau. It’s not a bad way to spend an hour and a half, just don’t expect to be scared.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Through a Glass, Darkly by Bill Hussey

A new master of horror reveals himself with Through A Glass, Darkly as author Bill Hussey weaves a complex, darkly atmospheric story to give you chills on even the hottest summer day.

Detective Jack Trent has been having nightmares. Nightmares where a little boy he knows is horribly tortured and killed by some unspeakable evil. Trent knows that these visions aren’t only dreams, but premonitions of what is to come. When he suffered a traumatizing experience as a child, he received these special “gifts” of premonition, along with being able to see deep into people’s pasts and futures through touch. Trent has spent his entire life trying to keep his “gifts” under lock and key, but circumstances have arisen where he must use his gifts to protect those dear to him.

There have been mysterious kidnappings and brutal slayings of children, crimes that lead Jack Trent and his partner Dawn Howard to Crow Haven, an eerie and superstitious backwoods town. Crow Haven, like Jack Trent, has a deeply troubling past and many sins it is still paying for. A darkness that has plagued the town for centuries has returned…in the form of a creature that calls itself Dr. Mendicant. The Doctor intends to perform an ancient ritual to prolong his evil…the same terrifying ritual that Trent has seen in his dreams…

Can Jack Trent stop the Doctor and save the boy from his nightmares before it is too late? Can the centuries old evil that resides in Crow Haven be vanquished once and for all?

With Through A Glass, Darkly, Bill Hussey has created an intensely engaging and deeply disturbing book. It is so well-written that it’s hard to believe this is Hussey’s first novel. The words just seem to roll off the page pulling you deeper and deeper into the story, while the imagery is wickedly painted and the characters are all highly developed.

The approach Hussey takes is very “old school” horror, reminiscent of old black and white movies that featured creeping fog, stark trees, ancient rituals and truly evil villains. Yet, though the novel is steeped in classic horror, it has a very modern feel. The characters are varied and each of them is believable. Hussey does a great job at creating the tormented Trent and the back story of his “special powers” is indeed intriguing and adds that little something extra to an already solid story. The book is also peppered with other substantial characters, including Trent’s partner Dawn Howard, her endangered child Jamie, the wise Father Brody, suspected murderer Simon Malahyde, and the queer, withdrawn townsfolk of Crow’s Haven. Each of the characters is multi-layered, no matter how small their role in the book. The evil Doctor Mendicant is also one of the most frightening horror villains I’ve read of late…his raggedy “Crowman” appearances as well as his later transformations are downright unsettling!

The dark visuals are another place where the novel excels. Hussey’s descriptions of Crow Haven, as well as the surrounding Redgrave Forest, are bone-chilling. There is also shocking, cringe-worthy gore that soaks many passages in blood and bone. Probably the most shocking aspect of the gore is that young children bear the brunt of it. With bones snapping, brains being bashed in, baby fat being drained and other horrors perpetrated by the villain(s), it’s hard to stomach that most of it happens to young children, but it’s the horrifying torture and murders that are part of what make the novel so memorable!

Through A Glass, Darkly is a richly dark novel that proves that author Bill Hussey is one of the great new voices in horror fiction. Remember his name because I’m sure you’ll be hearing it a lot after this breakout book.

Available on Amazon!

The Ruins (2008)

After being wholeheartedly consumed by Scott Smith’s The Ruins, I was eager (and a little apprehensive) to check out Carter Smith’s (no relation to Scott) visual interpretation of the novel. I was both pleasantly surprised and a bit let down with the film, though it did follow the novel closely. The differences (like different things happening to different characters) and a lackluster ending may have dulled the film a little, but I felt that overall the panic and desperation of the characters was translated quite well into the film.

Two couples are enjoying fun-in-the-sun on a vacation in Mexico when they befriend German tourist Mathias (Joe Anderson). While lounging around the pool, Mathias tells them that in the morning he is heading to an archeological dig of some hidden ruins to find his brother, who followed a girl out there. Eager for something other than margaritas by the pool, Eric (Shawn Ashmore), Stacy (Laura Ramsey), Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) and Amy (Jena Malone) all decide to go with Mathias. Mathias also invites a group of Greek tourists whom he has befriended, but only one named Dimitri (Dimitri Baveas) is sober enough the next morning for the trek.

After leaving a copy of the map to the ruins with the passed-out Greeks, the six tourists are on their way, first taking a bus, then a taxi to their isolated location. When the taxi takes off, they take a small trail into the jungle. They come upon some Mayan children who won’t come near them and it appears that the trail stops abruptly. Mathias discovers that the remainder of the trail was purposely blocked by some palm fronds and they continue on, coming upon a clearing with the beautiful ruins in the middle.

Seconds after reaching the clearing, a Mayan on horseback bursts out of the forest and starts yelling at them. He is armed, and soon two more Mayans join him. The group backs steadily up to the ruins and are forced to climb to the top. More Mayans surround the ruins and start building camps, intent on keeping the group quarantined. There is no sign of Mathias’ brother or any archeologists…just seemingly abandoned tents and the dig, a deep, dark hole that goes directly down into the ruins.

There’s something else about the ruins…there are no birds, no insects, no living things…just a profusion of vines that grow there. Vines that can think, vines that move quickly, vines that mimic noises and vines that are deadly…

The Ruins is an entertainingly gory film, one that is much needed amid the crappy teenybopper “reimagings” of Prom Night and the like. Horror fans should be seeing and embracing films like The Ruins that aim for more genuine scares, better acting and a MUCH better storyline than these blander-than-cardboard remakes.

I truly appreciated that The Ruins stayed so true to the novel, because the novel worked! It had the spectacular gross-out moments (bones stripped bare), shocking moments (“the cell phone cover is cracked…”) and surprises (“I didn’t mean to!”). All of the action felt more accelerated in the film than from the novel, but that also worked as things just keep getting quickly worse and worse for the wayward tourists. My only real complaint was the ending, which differs from the book. I didn’t think it worked as well as the novel and left things a bit too open-ended for one particular character.

Still, despite that, I enjoyed everything else about the film. The gore was absolutely cringe-worthy and definitely brought the images from the book to life. We get broken bones, severed appendages, a bloody brain blow-out, stabbings, cuttings and one nasty little vine that loves burrowing into open wounds. It’s not all gore all the time, though, which leaves room for building tension and establishing empathy for the characters.

As for the characters, they aren’t very developed but they don’t need to be. It’s easy to imagine yourself in the same situation – a tourist hoping to catch a glimpse of some hidden attraction but ending up trapped in a situation you cannot control. When all hell starts to break lose, you really feel for the characters. Credit should also be given to the actors for this, also, and I think they all did a fantastic job. I especially like Jonathan Tucker as the take-charge Jeff. He actually made him more likable in the film than he was in the book.

While The Ruins probably won’t knock your socks off, I still found it to be a pretty enjoyable film, especially in light of other horror films that are in theaters right now. For the love of horror, don’t waste your hard-earned cash on tripe like Prom Night or other half-assed horror films; quite complaining and go see a decent horror flick like The Ruins! While it may not be the best horror film ever made, it’s definitely not even close to the worst and it’s a solid effort and well-worth seeing in theaters!

Order it on Amazon!

Book Review: The Ruins by Scott Smith

Have you ever become so wrapped up in a book that it consumes you, it won’t let you put it down? Upon the conclusion you’re left slack-jawed and worn out. A few days later, you still can’t shake the feeling and the story continues to eat away at you from the inside out?

Well, having finished Scott Smith’s horror novel The Ruins (in preparation for the upcoming film adaptation), I can attest to those very emotions. Like a vine, The Ruins wraps itself around you, slowly at first, then tightening and tightening its hold so that it is near impossible to put down until the very last page.

Things start lazily enough in the book. Couples Jeff and Amy, Eric and Stacy are having one last fling together before they each head off to college. They are enjoying three weeks in Cancun, relaxing on the beach and drinking their cares away. They become friends with a German named Mathias as well as a group of Greeks, who don’t speak any English but go by Spanish names. One day, Mathias tells them about his kid brother, who set off into the jungle to follow a girl he had met to an archeological dig. The two couples, along with “Pablo” from the Greeks, decide to accompany Mathias into the jungle to try and find his brother.

After a long bus and taxi ride, they come to the jungle path they must take. They encounter some indifferent Mayans before eventually finding the ruins. There is no sign of Mathias’ brother or an archeological dig, but the group soon discovers the horrifying truth about the ruins when they remain trapped there.

I haven’t been so taken and enthralled with a book in quite some time, but The Ruins blew me away. Smith writes simply at first, but keeps buffeting the reader with an ominous feeling, one where you know something very bad is coming very soon. When trouble finally arrives, it’s far worse than you ever could have comprehended and it just keeps getting worse!

The characters are likable and relatable; I found a piece of myself reflected in each of their personalities and moods. The way Smith is able to capture both the good, the bad and the ugly in his characters makes them that much more real and “alive.” They each have their faults and make mistakes, but this is what makes them so relatable and their fates all the more horrifying.

The story itself and how it unravels is terrifying and even believable. Who hasn’t had the fear of being lost and trapped in some faraway place with no contact to the outside world and little hope of rescue? Who hasn’t been afraid of strange sounds or things in the dark? Of creepy crawlies? Of not being able to communicate when it means life or death? The characters’ realistic reactions to all these fears are very believable, their choices make sense and you can easily imagine yourself caught in the same situation making the same dreadful decisions.

As for the gore, there is plenty of it! Things get (literally!) under the characters’ skins and there are broken bones, bodies skinned to the bone, self-mutilation, strangulation, regurgitation and a fair amount of blood flow. Certain descriptions in the book had me covering my mouth in disbelief and disgust (in a good way, you know!) all the while feeling as helpless as the victims. I am definitely holding back because I don’t want to give anything away, but horror fiends will not be disappointed!

The Ruins is an emotionally intense experience, a book that manages to coil itself around you and draw you in. If you decide to read it before going to see the upcoming film that releases April 4th you had better set aside a few days, because once you pick it up you’ll find it extremely hard to put down!

Available from Amazon!

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972)

There might be those that grow weary of the routine plot of gialli films. They usually rely on similar circumstances, plot twists, glamorous characters and black-gloved killers. If you are a fan of giallo, though, you just can’t get enough of ‘em! There is just something about their sophisticated style, vivid visuals, gory death scenes and elaborate who-done-its to keep you hooked!

In 1972’s The Red Queen Kills Seven Times, director Emilio Miraglia never strays far from the giallo formula, but still manages to create a tension-filled film with candy-colored set-pieces, an impressive cast and sufficient plot twists to keep you guessing!

In the wealthy Wildenbruck family, an old legend says that every hundred years two sisters, the Red Queen and the Black Queen, will violently quarrel. The Black Queen will kill the Red Queen, but a year later the Red Queen will return for revenge, killing six people before finally killing her sister, the Black Queen. Sisters Kitty (Barbara Bouchet) and Evelyn Wildenbruck never really got along in childhood and as grownups have drifted apart. Kitty is a fashion photographer working for a fashion house and still visits her family’s castle where she and Evelyn were raised by their grandfather. Evelyn hasn’t been heard from for some time, but it’s assumed she’s living in America, where she moved to one year prior.

One night, their grandfather has a heart attack after a fright and the Red Queen, wearing a flowing red cape and cackling loudly, is seen near the castle. When the grandfather’s will is read, it is discovered that no one can touch it until the following year. Did the grandfather know something about the 100 year curse that his heirs don’t?

Soon after, murders begin occurring. It seems as if people from the fashion house where Kitty works are being targeting. After the general manager is killed, the police come up with a sketch of the murderer from an eyewitness. Kitty recognizes the face as the face of her own sister Evelyn! Problem is, she killed Evelyn a year ago.

Has the prophecy about the Red Queen come true or is someone else to blame for the murders? Could it be Kitty’s lover, vying for the general manager position, top model Lulu seeking revenge, drug-addict Peter seeking money or is Evelyn really back from the grave?

Red Queen’s luscious visuals and lurid color palettes make for a sensational viewing experience. Rather than bathing entire shots in bright hues of red and blue (think Argento’s Suspiria), each object – a bright yellow car, a blood-red cape, a cool blue and green apartment – pops out at you. The colorful 70s fashions also help bring a real liveliness to the film – plaid polyester suits, batiks, bold cuts and colors contribute to the sense of excitement. The settings – the Wildenbruck’s opulent castle, the fashion house’s posh office and the characters luxurious apartments, for example – all seem larger than life as well! These visuals grab your attention and help pull you into the story.

Giallo fans know the story is usually the weakest point in the film (gialli usually rely more on visuals than a cohesive storyline), yet Red Queen did a fine job of working all its kinks out. It also hid its secrets pretty well, with the villain never being obvious until close to the end. Except for a few rough patches (unnecessary rape scene, I’m looking at you!) the story flowed smoothly and made sense.

The acting was also done extremely well. Barbara Bouchet was fantastic as Kitty Wildenbruck. She was both an independent woman, yet vulnerable at the same time. As she begins to unravel, you can’t help but feel sympathetic towards her. Even though she was behind Evelyn’s demise (or was she?) it is very easy to feel sorry for her when everyone around her starts dying and she’s forced to face her demons. The rest of the cast is equally impressive. All the ladies in the film are absolutely gorgeous and include the previously mentioned Barbara Bouchet as well as Marina Malfatti, Maria Pia Giancaro and Sybil Danning. Unfortunately for us girls, the men aren’t as attractive as the women, but nonetheless they put on a good show.

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times isn’t as gory as some other gialli, but it does deliver. Make sure not to miss the scene where an escaping mental patient is purposely impaled on an iron fence or the death by VW Bug. Just like the rest of the film’s visuals, the blood is brightly garish!

Gialli often follow the same formula – a deep, dark secret is revealed which unleashes a black-gloved killer, usually in a posh clique, and everyone is a suspect. Still, despite the formula that most seem to follow, they can still be incredibly entertaining. The Red Queen Kills Seven Times is no different and is a sophisticated, sexy, stylish and sinister romp into the world of giallo.

Available from Amazon!

When Evil Calls (2008)

When Evil Calls is so downright AWFUL that I’ll try and keep this review as short as possible – I don’t want to waste any more effort on this pathetic attempt at a horror movie!

If you want the super-short version, here it is: THIS MOVIE ISN’T WORTH WATCHING EVEN IF THEY WERE GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE!!

If you want the slightly longer review of how and why this movie is so wretched, keep reading…

Originally released as 20 downloadable episodes for your cell phone, When Evil Calls has been released on DVD by (who else would release such crap) Lionsgate. They’ve linked together the episodes by having Sean Pertwee narrate as the drunken janitor. He begins by telling us how it all started…with a very unpopular girl (Jennifer Lim, whom most will recognize from Hostel). One night, she receives a text that says, “Congratulations! You have won a wish!” (we are subjected to this annoying phrase at the beginning of EVERY episode…complete with cheesy graphics and bad music). A creepy clown visits her in her bedroom and tells her she can have anything she wants as long as she passes the text on to two more people. She wishes to be popular and gets her wish. After that, the text gets passed all around the school and people start dying from their stupid wishes…Be careful what you wish for!

The movie is less than an hour and a half long, but it was just so BAD that I had to shut it off at about 50 minutes in. First thing you’ll notice is that the film looks horrible…Lionsgate did a terrible job with this release! The film was made for cell phones, but it doesn’t look like they made any effort to upgrade it for DVD! It just looks very low-budget. Furthermore, there is no story, just short segments about people’s stupid wishes backfiring on them. Lastly, there is no good gore, just silly CGI that looks absolutely cheesy. Sean Pertwee is the only good thing about the film, but his one-liners are cringe-worthy. I bet that instead of acting like a drunken janitor, he actually was getting drunk just to make it through appearing in this movie. Hell, you’d have to be unconscious to enjoy this flick!

If the cover of the film happens to catch your eye, don’t be suckered into checking out When Evil Calls. It has one of the most misleading covers I’ve ever seen!! From the cover (and even the title), it looks like an Asian horror flick that could be half-way decent. The text message thing is even a cool-sounding premise, but DON’T BE SUCKERED LIKE I WAS!! You’ll definitely regret it.

I wish this piece of crap had never been made…where’s a genie when I really need one?

Available from Amazon!

Savage Harvest 2: October Blood (2006)

It’s usually hard to follow up a horror movie, indie or otherwise, with a substantial sequel. Most sequels exist only to exploit the popularity of the first film and to plunder its creativity without coming up with anything original. When there is a change in writer and director (which is usually the case) the problem is further compounded. The heart, soul and essence of the first film are discarded in pursuit of one thing, and one thing only…money.

Luckily, we have smart independent horror sequels like Savage Harvest 2: October Blood to make up for those other soul-sucking sequels. Instead of exploiting the source material, new writer/director Jason Christ reverently stays true to the original while adding his own improvements.

Thirteen years have passed since a group of six friends awakened evil demons on a rural farm. The last remaining survivor, Mikki (Lisa Morrison), committed suicide several years ago. Her younger sister Ashley (Emily Haack), receives an unmarked video of a blood-drenched Mikki that reopens all the old wounds from her sister’s suicide. This video throws Ashley back into a deep depression and she returns to her and Mikki’s hometown to try and heal her wounds. Once there she runs into her old high school sweetheart Tyge (Benjamin Gaa), who’s running from his own personal demons. Tyge is staying with his old friend Zack (Eric Stanze, the writer/director for the first Savage Harvest film), who is enthralled by Native American folklore, especially that based on the native tribes of the area. When Ashley becomes determined to discover why her sister committed suicide and why she made that video tape, the friends head back to the isolated farm where Mikki survived a massacre and unwittingly re-release the very same evil spirits that turned Mikki’s friends into demons!

Savage Harvest 2: October Blood is an impressive sequel, one that works closely with its source material but tweaks things just enough to make them interesting. It also takes the time to improve on the original’s weak spots, including character development. Writing and directing duties have been handed over to Jason Christ, taking over for Eric Stanze who stars in the film. Christ does a fantastic job creating an engaging story, well-developed characters and a foreboding atmosphere.

The pace of the film comes in sharp contrast with its predecessor; while the first wastes no time in getting to the gory action, October Blood wisely takes its time building up the story and characters. Though some might say it takes too long, I believe that in the end it benefits the overall film. The actors do a great job of carrying the first part of the film solely on their performances. Emily Haack as Ashley conveys an emotional depth that is rarely seen in low-budget horror films. I also enjoyed watching Benjamin Gaa as Tyge as he and Ashley’s relationship deepens (and then turns nasty!). The real delight, though, came from Eric Stanze. I never expected him to be as great an actor as he is a writer/director, but he proved me wrong! He was an absolute joy to watch as Zack and brought some quirky and funny moments to the film.

Fans of the fast-paced Savage Harvest might need to be a bit more patient for the bloody pay-off in this film, but their patience will be well rewarded. The special FX are back in October Blood, with the infamous chainsaw making a nice comeback. Gorehounds will be pleased, though they’ll be waiting an hour plus for the bloodbath to begin.

Released in 2006, Savage Harvest 2: October Blood has been a long time coming since the original Savage Harvest was released in 1995. Despite the long wait, fans will be well pleased by the sequel. It may run a little long for most genre fan’s likings at nearly two hours, but those that appreciate well-constructed characters will think it’s worth the wait. Even those who haven’t seen the original Savage Harvest will easily be able to enjoy the film – the first film’s mythology is cleverly laid out at the beginning of October Blood.

Wicked Pixel Films continues to produce quality, independent horror film and Savage Harvest 2: October Blood is no different. Check it out today!

Available from Amazon!

Savage Harvest (1994)

Most indie horror aficionados are familiar with filmmaker Eric Stanze, who has brought us such solid indie efforts as the shocking Scapbook and Ice From the Sun, or his production company, Wicked Pixel Films. Yet you may not be familiar with one of his first films, entitled Savage Harvest, though you should be! Savage Harvest is a gruesomely good time, brimming with plenty of blood and guts to make any gorehound drool with pleasure, even though it is a no-budget indie film. Despite its shoestring budget, its impressive gore still holds up today even though the film was made in 1993!!

Six friends head up to an isolated farm in the country to help an uncle clean out a barn filled with his father’s belongings. His father was very interested in Native American mythology and collected many stories and artifacts about the Native Americans who used to call the area their home. The uncle recounts a popular legend concerning the surrounding woods. During the Trail of Tears, many Cherokees managed to escape and settled in these woods. Times were tough and one of the elders attempted to help the tribe by turning to black magic. When he was found conjuring evil spirits, the tribe killed him. Soon after, all of their crops turned to stones, stones that bore strange markings on them that possessed whoever touched them. The Cherokees abandoned the woods, calling them cursed. It is said that if a direct blood descendant of the tribe was to set foot on the cursed land again, he or she would re-awaken the evil spirits.

Well, unbeknownst to the six friends, one of them actually is a blood descendant and the evil spirits are released to posses the friends one by one! Now the friends are trapped on the Cherokee’s cursed land and possessed by the demons that inhabit the stones. Whenever someone touches the cursed stones, they are possessed by the stone’s particular demon…and become hungry for flesh! Can the remaining survivors find a way to stop the demons and reverse the curse?

I figured with a name like “Savage Harvest” this would be another derivative demon-possession-in-the-woods flick, but I was wrong. Savage Harvest really takes the time to build up its story and the Native American folklore behind it. I loved that they used Native American folklore in the film, a rich mythology that is sadly underused in horror films. The story, written by Eric Stanze, is extremely engaging and moves at a fast pace (though it’s little slow at first). The story was interesting and unique enough that the film didn’t feel like the typical, Evil Dead-inspired, kids-stuck-in-the-woods-with-demons horror flick.

The actors all held their own as well, despite the fact that they were amateurs. I really enjoyed the fact that they looked like normal people and didn’t look like they stepped straight out of the latest Teen Vogue or CW show. Their performances were definitely not the best I’ve seen in a horror film or even an indie film (some actors’ performances were downright annoying), but they served the plot well enough. I felt the characters could have used a little more development, but when the film kicks into high gear and the blood starts flying, “character development” didn’t seem too terribly important anymore.

Speaking of blood flying, the gore in this film is amazing! It is even more impressive considering the film was made in 1993 and Savage Harvest was Wicked Pixel’s first feature film. The blood flows freely as people are eaten, decapitated, eviscerated, gouged, electrocuted…and even taken to with a chainsaw! If it’s one area that this film absolutely succeeds in, it’s the gore. The demon special FX aren’t all that bad, either, and are reminiscent of the toothy demons from Demons.

Of course this film isn’t perfect – the picture is often times fuzzy, grainy and distorted (though I don’t think the film was originally made for widescreen LCD’s), some of the acting is a little grating at times and the psychedelic “lost-in-the-woods” scenes were beyond annoying, but these problems seem to go away when you realize that you are actually enjoying the film!

All in all, Savage Harvest is a fun and gore-filled addition to any fan of Eric Stanze or Wicked Pixel Films, or is a proper starting point for people who appreciate no-budget indie films. Either way, you’re sure to appreciate this nicely done demon possession flick!

Available from Amazon!