Scream 4 (2011)

When I first heard they were making another Scream film, I was full of trepidation. I loved the original Scream, and while the sequels weren’t as good, I enjoyed them nonetheless. The Scream trilogy was a big part of my high school experience and I still remember catching them in theaters and watching them again and again at home. Scream 3 came out in 2000, though, and I really wondered if the large time span between films would be detrimental to the series.

Luckily, the film itself takes place a decade after the events of Scream 3. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) returns to Woodsboro on the anniversary of the infamous Woodsboro Massacre to kick off a book tour for her new self-help autobiography. However, Ghostface has also returned to settle the score and starts picking off the locals and seems to have Sidney’s niece Jill (Emma Roberts) in his sights. Partnering again with the now-married Dewey (David Arquette) and Gale (Courteney Cox), can Sidney stop the new Ghostface, who seems to be playing by new, updated movie rules?

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much from Scream 4 (gah, I refuse to use it’s lame Scre4m moniker), but I was excited to see what director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson had done with the series. The film has a clever opening (though it got a bit tired pretty fast) that was quite gory before introducing us to our new cast of high schoolers and re-introducing the familiar faces. I actually liked the self-aware cast of new characters, most who either become red herrings or dead meat. I also enjoyed how the returning characters were crafted to show their development and growth as people. Despite the fact that the Scream films are considered slashers, I have always appreciated the development that has gone into the films’ characters.

I also appreciated that the film has changed with the times and adapted the “new rules” of the post-slasher era (all the while having a bit of fun with “the rules” and poking fun at several other franchises, namely the Saw series). However, I was disappointed to find that the film still relied on the tired cliché of female victims being hacked to bits while most of the male victims were dispatched quickly (or stupidly – a knife to the middle of the forehead, really?). With all the “rules” being mixed up, you’d think either Craven or Williamson would switch up this most tiresome trope of slashers (or the horror genre in general), but no such luck.

I also thought that while the first two acts were strong and suspenseful, the third act pretty much lags until the climax. The “Stab-a-thon” party scene and the after-party scenes would have probably worked better if they were both condensed down a bit. However, once we get past that small pacing speedbump the film delivers with a great climax and conclusion.

I may have pointed out several negatives I found with the film, but the truth is I really enjoyed Scream 4. I love the characters, both new and old, the “new rules” introduced, the witty dialogue and of course, the death scenes (errr, besides the unbelievable knife through the skull previously mentioned). I really find it a pity that more horror fans aren’t checking this film out. Scream 4 may not be perfect, but it’s a hell of a fun time and well worth the admission price. I highly encourage you to check out this horror sequel that actually delivers!

Buy it on Amazon!

Tormented (2009)

This is a pretty fun “teen scream” type of flick from the U.K. that was pretty entertaining. It’s about a high schooler who is mercilessly picked on by the popular clique until he commits suicide, but returns to pick off his classmates one by bloody one. The film starts with the overall “good girl” and class president-type Justine (Tuppence Middleton) giving the eulogy at Darren Mullet’s (Calvin Dean) funeral. However, she can’t even remember who he was. Soon after, popular dude Alexis (Dimitri Leonidas) asks Justine out and she quickly falls in with the popular clique, who used to harass Darren endlessly. Before long, students start dying grisly deaths and it appears that Darren Mullet has returned from the grave for revenge against those who bullied him.

Tormented has entertaining characters, grisly deaths, ocular horror, a nice revenge story and a surprising ending! It also looks slick and polished and there is a fair assortment of characters (the popular kids, the nerds, the goths, etc.). The tense relationships between cliques are nothing new, but Tormented keeps things interesting with witty dialogue and colorful characters. Even though the characters seem to be stereotypical, writer Stephen Prentice gives each of the characters a distinctive voice and keeps things fun and light.

Offsetting the laughs is the gore…and I gotta say that there are some pretty inventive deaths here! There is plenty of spatter and a high body count in Tormented, and my favorite, most squirm-worthy death scene in one involving ocular horror! Ouch!

The cast all does a fantastic job and director Jon Wright really brings out the best in every single one of them. Wright also gives us a very pretty, very visually stimulating film. Tormented looks great and has that slick look, however it’s not so slick that it detracts from the actual story.

I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed Tormented. It’s a fun flick that I think most horror fans will enjoy. Check out this British film if you get the chance!

Available from Amazon!

The Hollow (2004)

In preparing for the Halloween season I set off to discover some horror flicks I hadn’t seen that featured or were set during my favorite holiday season. This is how I stumbled across The Hollow, a 2004 straight-to-video flick that stars Backstreet Boy-bander Nick Carter. OK Hollow, that’s already one strike against you, so I hope you can redeem yourself from that unfortunate casting decision!

This teen slasher is based on the classic Washington Irving tale, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. In the film, high schooler Ian Cranston (Kevin Zegers) is new to the town of Sleepy Hollow. He arrives in town around Halloween and quickly joins into the town festivities. The town holds the Headless Horseman legend pretty dear to its heart, so there are plenty of Halloween festivities to celebrate Irving’s creation. To some, however, the legend is all too real…and soon enough, heads start to roll. It turns out that Ian is a descendant of Ichabod Crane and is the only one who can stop the Headless Horseman’s return to Sleepy Hollow.

You know, I was pleasantly surprised at how entertaining The Hollow actually was. It will certainly never win an Oscar and its mostly a forgotten flick, but I’m glad I gave it a looksie. I’m a sucker for anything involving The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, so I think that plus the festive setting of Halloween really sold the film for me.

Yes, it’s a pretty linear story and the few subplots don’t really work (one involving Ian butting heads with his football coach dad, played by none other than Judge Reinhold; another involving Ian hooking up with the lead cheerleader and her boyfriend, played by Nick Carter, getting steamed), but I enjoyed the main story of the Headless Horseman and Ian’s ancestral link to Ichabod Crane (revealed to him by none other than Stacy Keach, really selling his role as the grungy cemetery caretaker). The story certainly isn’t complex, but nonetheless I enjoyed it.

However, there are several negatives to this flick I feel I must address. First of all, I enjoyed how the film was set during Halloween and had people dressed and costume and decorations, but I really felt MORE should have been done to capture the feel of Halloween. The visuals just needed more pumpkins, more orange and black and more decorations! Especially since the town took the holiday so seriously! Secondly, the pacing is a bit slow and the Headless Horseman doesn’t make an appearance until half-way through the flick. And when he does appear he has a silly pumpkin for a head that’s just laughable! I wish they would have kept him a bit more in the shadows and hidden the hideous (not in a good way) costume. Third, WTF is Nick Carter doing acting?! His “white boy trying to do gangsta” persona is just annoying and embarrassing. Really, who in their right mind would cast him? I understand if he had his head lopped off early, but unfortunately he is in the film ’til the bitter end…and we are never treated to his death!! WTF is up with that? He was supposed to be like Paris Hilton in House of Wax...the whole point in watching was to see him meet a gory end, but that’s just not in the cards in The Hollow.

 Speaking of gore, the film really has none. The heads that the Headless Horseman collects look fake, though the decapitation scenes (usually shown from afar) look pretty good. There’s not that much bloodshed here, but overall this didn’t detract too much from my enjoyment of the film.

The Hollow definitely has its problems, but despite these I found the flick to be an enjoyable (though not entirely memorable) time-waster. If you are looking for a mindless flick to get into the Halloween mood but have worn out your Halloween and Trick ‘r Treat DVDs, The Hollow isn’t a terrible choice.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: The End of Church Street by Gregory L. Hall

A group of homeless goth kids who run the back alleys of Orlando, Florida are being targeted by a vampire slayer who thinks they are real creatures of the night. Though the kids like to wear fake fangs and don black capes to terrorize the tourists, they are pretty much harmless and the only people to bother them are the bored cops. Now, Vampire King and Queen Adam and Lucy must protect their brood of runaways from a real threat that is staking and decapitating members. Everyone is a suspect, from a detective called Duncan to the kids’ strange butler Renfield and even some of the kids themselves. Can they catch the deranged Van Helsing-wannabe before it’s too late?

Gregory L. Hall’s The End of Church Street is a fast-paced, fun read that offers up plenty of interesting characters, from the level-headed Adam to the sensual Lucy to innocent newbie Lilith to hothead Timmy. Each character has a varied past and Hall takes the time to develop all the characters so they each have distinctive personalities and pasts, making us care about every single one. I also like how they weren’t just stereotypical cut-outs of either homeless runaways or vampire freaks, but were really varied in appearance and personality. Hall did an excellent job giving each and every one of the characters emotional depth to ensure they really resonated with the reader. I was really cheering for the kids to elude the killer!

As for the killer, I enjoyed how Hall kept the reader on his or her toes the whole way, and gave us plenty of red herrings! I was positive I knew who the killer was, but the reveal completely surprised me! Kudos to Hall for actually creating a solid mystery that was suspenseful and surprising. The book kept me guessing and therefore kept me interested!

I also enjoyed the theatrical settings of the old theatre where the vampire kids live and the local haunt where Adam works. Both locations really added to the atmosphere of the book. Besides those two spooky locations, the foreboding dark alleys also added much to the setting. Shadowy encounters in the alleys really made my hair stand on end!

The only thing I didn’t quite like about the book is that sometimes its characters have a tendency to fall into melodramatics. I suppose that since they are teens they are predisposed for drama, especially since most of them are goths, but sometimes they go a bit too far and the book starts to focus more on the tangled relationships between characters rather than the horror at hand. This occurs a couple times, but thankfully doesn’t detract too much from my overall enjoyment of the novel.

Despite this small complaint, overall The End of Church Street is a solid horror novel that kept me enthralled in its spell. It’s a perfect quick read that will keep you glued to its pages and has several twists and turns that are sure to surprise you!

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Silver Bullet (1985)

Ah, the nostalgia that a Stephen King work brings to me…his stories remind me of being in elementary school and devouring his novels. Of course, it also helped that I could identify with many of his characters, who were usually around my age in the books. I remember reading IT and then enjoying the movie on VHS (remember how it came with two VHS tapes since its 3 hour length couldn’t all fit on one?). Even though I didn’t really dig the ending of the film I loved the story and at the time was obsessed with actor Jonathan Brandis, so I pretty much wore out those VHS tapes. I enjoyed many of King’s other books and subsequent adaptations, but one (short) story I never read was Cycle of the Werewolf, which Silver Bullet is based on.

Silver Bullet is about young, wheelchair-bound Marty (Corey Haim) who lives in a small town with his family, including mom, dad, older sister and crazy Uncle Red (Gary Busey). He spends his days tormenting his older sister, hanging out with his best friend and best girl and tooling around in a tricked out wheelchair, courtesy of Uncle Red.

That is, until one day in May when the moon is full and the killings start. Townsfolk are being ripped to shreds but no one has any idea who (or what) the killer is. Every month when the moon is full the killings start again…

When the killer murders Marty’s best pal, drives his best girl and her family out of town and causes the town to cancel some firework festivities, he decides to take matters into his own hands…especially once he discovers exactly who and what the killer is. After convincing his older sister and Uncle Red, the three of them make one final stand against the monster on Halloween night.

Silver Bullet is a pretty decent Stephen King adaptation and a good werewolf film to boot! I really enjoyed how the main character was a kid and how this gave the film a sweet, nostalgic feel. The film may be rated R (there is lots of cussing and some gore), but I think it’s pretty kid-friendly and Marty is an extremely likable character you can root for all the way through. If you’re a kid you will have no problem relating to Marty and all the adventures he has (disabled or not) and if you’re an adult you’ll blissfully remember those carefree days as a kid (minus the werewolf…at least I hope so).

Corey Haim as Marty is the absolute star of the film and does a fantastic job in his role. His talent definitely shines through in this film and really makes you realize what a great actor we lost. Gary Busey is his usual scenery-chewing self in the film, but his boisterous Uncle Red gives the film a pleasant manic edge. And he’s got some of the most hilarious lines in the film (“Holy jumped-up bald-headed Jesus palomino!”). 

The film does have a few instances of bloodshed (victims getting diced and sliced, some ocular horror, etc.) but gore is not the focus of the film, so don’t go in expecting too much (it’s kid-friendly horror, remember?). However, I did like the impressive werewolf transformation scenes, especially one set in the church. Sure, some of the prosthetics look a little rubbery or fake, but at least all practical effects are used…and I was expecting much less out of the film!

Silver Bullet is a fun and entertaining werewolf film that is definitely worth viewing. Haim and Busey’s performances give the film bite, but it’s also King’s nostalgic tone and the practical effects that make this underrated flick a must-see for all Stephen King and horror fans.

Buy it on Amazon!

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2010)

It’s never a good sign when a director quits a production half-way through, which is exactly what happened with Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. Director Ti West (The House of the Devil, The Roost) just didn’t agree with the direction the studios wanted to take the film, so he bailed on the production. He was never replaced and the film was completed without a director. Usually, this spells disaster for a film, but Cabin Fever 2 still managed to be surprisingly entertaining!

This silly and fun sequel bears no resemblance to Eli Roth’s great Cabin Fever (which, for the record, I love!). First off, instead of an isolated cabin the location has been moved to a crowded high school. Secondly, the tone is totally different. Gone is the tension and suspense from Roth’s flick as it’s replaced with funny gross-out gags and outrageous gore. In fact, it helps to think of this sequel as a whole different story, because besides the flesh-eating virus it really doesn’t feel or look like the original!

The film picks up right where Cabin Fever left off – Rider Strong’s character has escaped the cabin in the woods only to realize he still has a very short shelf life. Meanwhile, the contaminated water containing the flesh-eating virus is bottled in a plant and shipped off to the local high school, which is gearing up for their prom. The prom ends up being ground zero for a whole new epidemic as the teens meet all kinds of nasty fates while the military quarantines the whole school. Can anyone make it out alive?

While I expected this sequel to be downright awful, I was pleasantly surprised by its energy, quirkiness and gore factor! If you like gross-out gore shocks, you are going to love Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever! There is copious vomiting along with buckets of blood, sores, pus, infected private parts and lots of ooey gooey ickiness! The action is completely over-the-top and every few minutes I found myself saying “ewwwwww” or “grossssssssssss”!! It’s not easy to gross me out but this film definitely did the trick!

I also enjoyed seeing the familiar faces of Giuseppe Andrews as party-hardy Sheriff Winston and the brief appearance from Rider Strong, both from the original! Other recognizable faces included Marc Senter from The Lost and Noah Segan from Deadgirl. The characters weren’t too terribly annoying, and I was actually rooting for the lead characters!

It’s too bad Ti West walked away from this film, because it’s buckets of mindless fun! It may not resemble the original at all, but it sure is an entertaining way to be grossed out!

Available on Amazon!

After Dark Horrorfest 4 - All 8 Films to Die For Reviewed (2010)

I finally got around to checking out all of After Dark Horrorfest’s “8 Films to Die For” since they were only in theaters for two seconds!

I don’t feel like writing a lengthy review for each film, so I’m going to do a quickie review of each and list them from best to worst.

Note: All synopsis are courtesy of Netflix. Yeah, I’m lazy like that sometimes.

1.) Hidden (aka Skjult)- Kai Koss (Kristoffer Joner) returns to his family’s eerie woodland estate and makes plans to sell the house, hoping to put the memories of his tragic childhood behind him. But a presence even more wicked than his abusive mother has taken up residence in the place. Pål Øie (Dark Woods) writes and directs this atmospheric horror flick from Norway. Karin Park, Arthur Berning and Bjarte Hjelmeland co-star.

Definitely the best of the bunch, Hidden’s atmospheric story was intriguing, mysterious, and, best of all, scary! The psychological thriller is methodically paced and offers plenty of twists and turns. It is also gorgeous to look at (the creepy house, the weird, woodland-themed hotel, the eerie woods)! I also enjoyed how it is a mixture of haunted house/ghost/serial killer/slasher themes and makes you think. If you like subtle horror that slowly gets under your skin, Hidden is for you!

2.) Lake Mungo – When a series of inexplicable supernatural events strikes their home, Russell (David Pledger) and June (Rosie Traynor) Palmer try to figure out exactly what is behind the tragic drowning death of Alice (Talia Zucker), their 16-year-old daughter. A psychic (Steve Jodrell) might be able to help them. Joel Anderson writes and directs this psychological thriller; Martin Sharpe, Scott Terrill and Tamara Donnellan co-star.

Another methodically paced spookfest, Lake Mungo plays like a faux docu-drama where family members, police, doctors, neighbors, etc. are interviewed about the drowning death of Alice and subsequent home video is shown that appears to capture Alice’s ghost. The spook-factor comes from the fact that this film feels so real and offers some definitively creepy grainy video evidence of a haunting. The film loses some steam after a twist towards the middle, but the creepy images will haunt you for days!

3.) The Graves – When sisters Megan (Clare Grant) and Abby (Jillian Murray) Graves go on a road trip before recent college graduate Megan starts a job in New York, their fun search for a silly roadside attraction turns into a nightmare after they stumble into evil Skull City. The supernatural residents of this abandoned mine town like to rip out visitors’ souls, and after Megan is badly wounded, Abby must fight to save them both in this bloody spine-chiller.

While the two previous films are subtle and psychological horror, The Graves is straight up survival horror as Megan and Abby try to survive the nasty residents of a former mining town. This is a fast-paced and entertaining film, especially since the two lead female characters are so strong and a joy to root for. However, it does become a bit repetitive after a while (they keep running and hiding) and it would have been nice if the townsfolk were a bit more developed. However, it’s a fun flick that doesn’t disappoint!

4.) Kill Theory – A celebratory vacation turns into a nightmare for a group of recent college graduates when a sadistic sociopath forces them into a horrific game: They must kill each other off until only one survivor remains. As tensions grow and the murders begin, relationships falter and new alliances are formed. Chris Moore directs this gory slasher flick that stars Agnes Bruckner, Taryn Manning and Patrick Flueger.

Though this sounds like a stereotypical slasher, it actually has some tricks up its sleeves and turned out to be pretty entertaining. It has an interesting premise that it follows through with until the end and even throws us for a loop with a nice twist! It does have its “meh” moments, but overall Kill Theory turned out a lot better than I expected it to.

5.) Dread – Assisted by two naïve classmates, duplicitous Quaid (Shaun Evans) conducts a devious research project examining students’ innermost fears. Once armed with data, Quaid methodically torments his hapless subjects, taking full advantage of their weaknesses. Adapted from a short story by Clive Barker, writer-director Anthony DiBlasi’s horror movie offers a potent mixture of heart-pounding thrills and extreme violence. Jackson Rathbone co-stars.

I was really looking forward to this film, especially since it was adapted from a Clive Barker story. However, I found it kind of boring and meandering. I lost interest in the film pretty quickly and was disappointed in its predictable story and ending. However, I will say that it has one of the best (worst?) scenes of torturing a vegetarian ever! The vegetarian is locked in a room and will starve unless she eats a hunk of groddy meat left in her cell. As a vegan, this scene definitely skeeved me out! However, that was the only scene that really “got” me…the rest of the film was pretty blah.

6.) The Final – Dane (Marc Donato), an unpopular high school student, leads a group of outcasts seeking revenge on the popular kids who harassed and humiliated them for years — and their plan includes gruesome forms of torture learned in history class and horror films. Confining the bullies at the remote house Dane inherited, the outcasts turn the tables and subject their victims to a night of grisly treatment in this gory horror flick.

Ya know, this film didn’t start out so bad, but after a while it just felt like a high school version of Saw. It definitely needed more character development of both the popular (victims) and unpopular (killers) kids. It really went downhill when the characters we are supposed to identify with, the unpopular kids, turn into the bad guys and start killing indiscriminately. When that happened I didn’t have anyone to root for or identify with so I was pretty ambivalent for the rest of the film. The set-up of the costume party to get revenge on the popular kids was pretty clever, though, and made for some great scenes! Too bad it went downhill after about 30 – 45 minutes. FAIL!

7.) Zombies of Mass Destruction (ZMD) – When flesh-eating zombies assault their idyllic town, a ragtag group of locals — including gay couple Tom (Doug Fahl) and Lance (Cooper Hopkins), Iranian American college student Frida (Janette Armand) and conservative Rev. Haggis (Bill Johns) — join forces to repel the brutal onslaught. Set in a paranoid post-9/11 America, this nerve-racking horror movie offers witty social satire as well as an abundance of blood and guts.

I just could not get into this movie and was bored all the way through. I don’t know what it was but it didn’t engage me at all. It just felt like any other zombie movie except with two gay dudes in it. I guess I was expecting it to be funnier or something, but I can hardly remember this film at all. Pass.

8.) The Reeds – When a group of London friends boating through Norfolk Broads takes a wrong turn in the dense, reedy waters, they find themselves haunted by a terrifying and ancient evil in this eerie spine chiller directed by Nick Cohen. It soon becomes apparent that they’re no match for the malevolent forces that lurk in the vast waterway. Eli Marienthal, Scarlett Alice Johnson, Geoff Bell and Emma Catherwood star.

The bottom of the barrel is The Reeds, which just feels unoriginal and that you’ve  seen the same movie 100 times before. It boasts a few gross-out/spooky scenes (the scenes of the burned dog were sick), but overall the story is just weak and didn’t keep my interest. Even the “twist” at the end was predictable. I think I even started doing chores while this was on because I was so bored. Definitely pass!

Order the box set on Amazon!

President's Day (2010)

You know what I think? That you can never have enough holiday-themed horror movies! So I eagerly looked forward to watching President’s Day! An added bonus is that it’s helmed by filmmaker Chris LaMartina, whose previous films, Book of Lore and Grave Mistakes, we raved about. LaMartina continues his winning streak with President’s Day, a fun indie film that’s a throwback to classic ’80s slashers!

The plot is pretty simple: A killer dressed like Abraham Lincoln is murdering high schoolers who are running for student council. Barry (Bennie Mack McCay IV) joins the race to get closer to new student and fellow candidate Joanna (Lizzy Denning), but finds himself embroiled in a mystery where everyone is a suspect, including snotty popular girl Chelsea (Nicolette Faye), the sleazy janitor (Lee Armstrong) and Officer Kennedy (Ryan Thomas). Can Barry figure out who the killer is before its his turn to get axed?

Chris LaMartina (who directed and co-wrote) again proves that he is a major talent to watch with President’s Day! First off, the film looks fantastic – it has excellent lighting, interesting shots and overall looks extremely professional. It definitely takes skill and talent to make an independent feature, and it’s safe to say LaMartina has both in spades! This is one filmmaker that you actually want to see more from!

Secondly, the story, written by LaMartina and Jimmy George, is simple but throws enough red herrings throughout (that are actually believable) to keep you on your toes. When the final reveal comes as to the killer’s identity, I was actually surprised! And it wasn’t some random character, either, but actually made logical sense! I also enjoyed how each of the characters was developed just enough, and while some of them were stereotypes of high school students, this actually worked with the comedic aspects of the film. I especially liked one particular scene that shows all the stereotypes when Barry is trying to get some information from the students…it definitely made me giggle!

The comedy in the film is never overpowering, though, and there are plenty of horrific kills throughout the film! I was impressed with the films high body count – A LOT of people, kids, and even pets get killed! I especially liked the death of a jock involving a trophy and another one involving a goth girl getting an eye gouged out! The film doesn’t discriminate against the crippled either…the first kill features a wheelchair-bound candidate getting axed! My only complaint is that the kills were a bit anti-climactic and were pretty quick.

Still, that is a tiny complaint in comparison to how I felt about the high quality of the film. Even the acting, usually one of the weakest points for an indie production, blew me away! Every single actor was phenomenal and I couldn’t pick a bad performance out of the bunch! This wasn’t a simple production with just a few lead characters, either, but required the talents of numerous actors, both lead, supporting and extras. I was impressed by the talent of the large cast and the ability of LaMartina to really direct all the actors so that they gave the best possible performances.

President’s Day is a fun throwback film that is well-made, well-acted and just a joy to watch! This again proves that indie filmmaker Chris LaMartina is one talent to watch!

President’s Day will premiere at the Charles Theater in Baltimore on (what else) President’s Day, February 15th, 2010.

For more info, visit President’s Day on Facebook and Twitter!

Strange Behavior (1981)

Strange Behavior (aka Dead Kids) is a little-seen 1981 horror film that is probably best remembered for a zany party scene where a bunch of teens are dancing up a storm to some god-awful ‘60s music that sounds like it was better suited for Grease 2. And, yes, the teens soon join in for a choreographed number that’ll probably make you gag a little. Still, despite this and a few other glaringly out-of-place scenes throughout the film, I found Strange Behavior to be a surprisingly entertaining flick.

In the seemingly idyllic burg of Galesberg, Illinois, it seems that things aren’t so peaceful. Kids are getting murdered left and right, and top cop John Brady (Michael Murphy), thinks it has something to do with the strange behavioral experiments going on at the local university. Brady seems to have a history with the scientist in charge of the suspicious experiments, Dr. Le Sangel (Arthur Dignam), only problem is that the Doctor is long dead (though he still “teaches” college classes via archival footage), having been replaced by his protégé, the icy Dr. Parkinson (Fiona Lewis). Still, the experiments have continued, but now the kids who volunteer for the mysterious experiments are turning out a bit robotic and zombie-like…

Meanwhile, Brady’s son Pete (Dan Shor) enrolls himself in these experiments under Dr. Parkinson’s care in hopes he can make enough money to cover his college application fees. There he meets love interest Caroline (Dey Young), who is a clueless receptionist that knows nothing of what goes on behind Dr. Parkinson’s closed doors.

Do the experiments have anything to do with the rash of murders occurring in the sleepy burg? Well, you can bet your bottom dollar they do, but can Brady get to the bottom of them before his own son becomes a mindless killing machine?

Strange Behavior was definitely a fun film to watch, despite its few wacky scenes and offbeat humor. In fact, its goofiness made it even more fun to watch! The party scene is classic enough, but there is also a hilarious scene where an older deputy is going through files and files of college transcripts to try and find a “fat girl” that fits the killer’s description…really, just watch it and you’ll understand!

The sly humor used throughout certainly doesn’t underscore the gore, though, and there is plenty to go around. People get stabbed, limbs get hacked off, a victim’s body is strung up in a field like a scarecrow, people’s heads get bashed and so on. Certainly not the goriest of films, even by slasher standards, but Strange Behavior does a decent job spreading some crimson around.

The story, written by Bill Condon (who would go on to write/direct Gods and Monsters and Dreamgirls) and Michael Laughlin, does have its plot holes, namely not entirely explaining why and how certain people were targeted to be killed. Were some of the victim’s random or were they all selected to be killed? This was never cleared up satisfactorily for me. Also, the pacing in the beginning and the end dragged a bit for me. The beginning had a pretty typical opening that didn’t immediately grab my attention. Then the end felt unnecessarily drawn out…and what was it with the cheesy wedding scene at the end? There were definitely some parts that could have been heavily edited. I never really did get the connection between Brady and his love interest (played by Louise Fletcher), who I guess was the housekeeper…that part of the story added nothing to the overall story and should have been dropped from the script. It’s almost if Condon and Laughlin were trying to cram as much as they could into the story, but I wished they had focused a bit more on the murders rather than unnecessary characters.

The characters, for a change from most slashers, are well-developed and stay away from most horror movie stereotypes. You really could sympathize with Brady and his son Pete as they both try to make sense of what is going on. The cold character of Dr. Parkinson is also developed just enough so you know that deep down she’s evil. You even get a feel for the secondary characters, like Pete’s best friend Oliver (who disappears halfway through after donning a scary and oversized Tor Johnson-look-alike mask at the crrrrraaaazy costume party) and girlfriend Caroline (who wears one of the ugliest patterned pant and jacket sets I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing).

Despite some flaws and a few wacky sequences, Strange Behavior is otherwise an entertaining way to kill an hour and a half. It seems that many people aren’t familiar with this diamond in the rough, either, but nonetheless this unique film just begs to be seen. Just promise you won’t bust out any choreographed dance moves while watching!

Order it on Amazon!

Chopping Mall (1986)

The ‘80s gave us a large number of cheesy horror movies, but only a precious few gave us killer robots running amuck…and perhaps only one gave us killer rent-a-cop robots running rampant in a mall! That movie, of course, would be 1986’s Chopping Mall (aka Killbots)! Love it or hate it, you can’t deny Chopping Mall’s high cheese and big hair factor, making it the perfect flick to watch when you don’t want to strain your brain!

Our tale starts with a mall employing three robots as their after hours crime fighting team. They are supposed to offer non-lethal protection from intruders (as evidenced by an infomercial-type film shown to the mall tenants in the first few minutes of the film), but when lighting strikes and fries their control unit, the robots begin killing people with their super-duper lasers, clamping claws and various other robotic implements.

That same night, a group of young mall employees have decided to spend the night inside the mall in a furniture store and PAR-TAY! When the killbots get loose, though, the slowly dwindling group must find a way to escape from the robots’ metallic clutches.

Chopping Mall has all the standards of an ‘80s horror flick – boobs, gratuitous sex (ewwww, I wouldn’t wanna be the person that ends up buying that sofa!), poofy hair, bodysuits, ‘80s dancing (to music from a gen-u-ine boombox!) and crappy special FX, including the pinkish-red lasers the robots shoot. It lacks much of a story (it IS only 70 minutes long) and the gore is almost nonexistent, but besides its low budget and high cheese factor, I found myself giddily enjoying Chopping Mall!

This feature’s claim to fame is an impressive exploding head shot that’s right up there with Scanners. Courtesy of one of the robots laser beams, an unfortunate’s head explodes just like the watermelons in Gallagher’s act do. Besides that, there sadly isn’t much gore in the rest of the film. We get a few necks slit open, a guy gets electrocuted, a girl is lit on fire, and so on. There is even one extremely weak death where a robot pushes the guy over the railing and he falls three stories to his death. Talk about anticlimactic…

Besides the disappointing deaths, the film’s plot is almost nonexistent and relies on the horny kids running through the mall and trying to get away from the killbots. And I still don’t understand how the robots moved from level to level. How the heck did they fit on the escalators? Still, when you just want to turn your brain off and enjoy some robot mayhem, Chopping Mall fits the bill perfectly.

It’s nice that writers Steve Mitchell and Jim Wynorski (who also directed) tried to give us a bit of character development in the beginning (ooooh new girl and nerdy boy really hit it off! How cute!), but this is all pretty much lost on the audience when the robots come out to play. The stereotypical asshole and bitch (who are also a couple…who says opposites attract?) die first, which was nice just so they would shut up, but the rest of the couples are just kinda “meh,” just leaving us to wonder who’s gonna be short circuited next.

Despite these detractors, if you have low expectations you can totally enjoy this cheesy ’80s film. I couldn’t very well take a film too seriously that featured Casio synths throughout the entire film! The fun part IS in its cheesiness, though!

So sit back, turn off your brain and enjoy! Don’t forget to “Have a nice day”!

Available from Amazon!

The Substitute (2008)

Hailing from Denmark and distributed stateside by Ghosthouse Underground, The Substitute (aka Vikaren) is surprisingly NOT your typical evil-teacher-terrorizing-students horror film. Instead, it is a refreshingly tense and exciting movie that defied my preconceived notions.

One warning about watching this film, though – make sure you turn off the god-awful English dubbing and instead watch it in its original language with the English subtitles on. The dubbing is horrible and just ruins the film. Consider yourself warned!

The film begins with a narrator telling us that Earth is the only planet that has the complexities of “love,” and an alien race wants to figure out what all the fuss is about and if love is truly the most powerful weapon of all. So, an alien life force travels down to Earth, lands on a poultry farm and takes over a woman’s body to try and figure out what “love” is all about – and hopefully take some specimens of humans back to the home planet to plan Earth’s demise.

Meanwhile, in a nearby town, young Carl (Jonas Wandschneider) is mourning the death of his mother, along with his father Jesper (Ulrich Thomsen) and young sister Sofie (Olivia Stenderup Garre). Carl is a loner in his six grade class, often bullied by the bigger students. When Carl’s class learns that their teacher will be out sick for the next few weeks, they are ecstatic, thinking they can just slack off and take it easy. When their substitute arrives, though, they are in for a nasty surprise. Their substitute, Ulla Harms (Paprika Steen), seems to have the ability to read minds and tells them that she intends to whip them into academic shape…with some very aggressive, mean tactics. The kids sense that something isn’t right about Ulla, and they soon discover the terrifying truth about her.

Can Carl and his classmates convince their parents that Ulla isn’t human before it’s too late?

Ok, I know that the synopsis does no justice to the film, instead making it sound like a Faculty rip-off, but believe me when I say that this Substitute is a much better, very different film! The story, written by Ole Bornedal (who also directed) and Henrik Prip, has the perfect balance of suspense, humor and horror. I really enjoyed the development of the characters, especially Carl. The death of Carl’s mother really adds depth and pathos to the story. That, in turn, is balanced by the humor that comes into play with Carl’s classmates and Ulla’s character. Ulla’s character is both terrifying and amusing, especially when she tortures the kids in such a quick, nonchalant attitude! And I love the kids reactions – “You’re a teacher! You’re not supposed to say that!” There is one scene where the kids break into Ulla’s house and catch her eating a live chicken that is just priceless! The great thing about the scene is that it is both extremely tense and hilarious!

The acting is also a wonderful surprise. Fans of Danish cinema will recognize Paprika Steen and Ulrich Thomsen who play Ulla and Carl’s father Jesper, respectively. They were recently both in the critically acclaimed Fear Me Not and they both shine in this film as well. Steen is terrific as Ulla, whether she is snapping orders at the kids or pulling the wool over the parent’s eyes as to what she really is. She gives a very menacing yet entertaining performance! Jonas Wandschneider as Carl also gave a stellar performance, bringing lots of different emotions to his damaged yet spunky character. And all of the kids in the film were just awesome! Each brought their own distinct personalities to their performances and came across as very natural!

Though this movie hardly spills any blood, I thought the special FX, especially one revealing Ulla’s true tentacled nature, were well done! In addition, a mysterious photograph, a shiny sphere that things crawl out of and some shapeshifting all make for some tense, exciting moments. There is no gore and precious little amounts of blood, but this film just didn’t need those things to make it entertaining. It’s fun and original on its own without needing too much red.

I was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable The Substitute was. It doesn’t seem that in Hollywood they make too many horror films with young kids as the protagonists, so right off the bat the film felt unique. Also, it really was a great mix of horror and humor. I was on the edge of my seat yet laughing my ass off at the same time! Now that’s entertainment, folks! I hear that there are already plans for remaking this film, so get out there and see it NOW! Accept no substitutions for The Substitute!

(Just remember to turn the dubbing OFF!!)

Available from Amazon!

Frostbitten (2006)

The last good vampire film I saw was Let the Right One In, but before that I can’t remember the last good vampire film I saw. I love the mythos behind vampires, but I hate how Hollywood usually translates them as being suave, sophisticated beings that sip blood from crystal goblets and lounge about sumptuously appointed mansions. I miss vampires being vicious, cunning and bloodthirsty!

Yet, even when vampires are envisioned as completely feral beings, things can still go wrong…just see 30 Days of Night, which had a killer concept but failed devastatingly to deliver. Luckily, the Swedish film Frostbitten (or Frostbiten in its native tongue) is a fun vampire film that melds the old vampire mythos (an aversion to garlic and crosses, not being able to see their reflection and not being able to control their blood lust) with the new (a genetically engineered vampire that is superior to both “old” vampires and humans, red pills that turn users into vampires), creating a fresh and entertaining vampire film.

Saga (Grete Havnesköld) and her mother Annika (Petra Nielsen) have moved to a small Lapland town so Annika can work alongside the famous geneticist Gerhard Beckert (Carl-Åke Eriksson) at a medical facility. They’ve arrived at the time of year in winter when the town has 30 days of night, and both must adjust to the continuous darkness as well as being in a new place. Also, when they arrive there are a series of odd deaths that occur. Some seem like accidents, but the victims have puncture marks on their necks.

Meanwhile, Saga makes a quirky new friend at school named Vega (Emma T. Åberg) while Annika becomes intrigued by Professor Beckert and his only patient, a young coma victim whom he treats with mysterious red pills. A young resident, Sebastian (Jonas Karlström), who also goes to Saga’s school, steals a red pill from the Professor, mistaking it for a street drug. When he takes it he get violently ill but has a strong desire for more red pills…so he breaks into the medical facility and nixes a whole box full of the pills from the Professor.

Vega manages to get her hands on the pills after Sebastian fails to score any drugs for an upcoming party. The pills end up at the party where all the teenagers of the town are boozing it up and partying like rock stars. Saga ends up there too, and pretty soon after popping the red pills the teens are transforming into bloodthirsty vamps.

Back at the medical facility Annika has discovered Professor Beckert’s secret after being bit by his patient…

With 30 days of night ahead of them, can mother and daughter unite to stop the vampires before it’s too late?

That synopsis may seem a bit long and convoluted, but luckily the movie doesn’t come off that way. Though the film has wide assortment of characters, it takes the time to develop them just enough so we know who everyone is. The characters are all likable and the film is infused with a contagiously fun energy. There is plenty of humor throughout the film, but also plenty of grue to satisfy! Its films like Frostbitten that really renew my love of the horror genre and prove there still are hidden gems out there!

The script and the pacing of the film are both near perfection. Though the beginning starts a bit slow with not too much blood loss, you are still sucked into the storyline by the characters and their different situations. Writers Daniel Ojanlatva and Pidde Andersson, along with director Anders Banke have created a fluid narrative that encompasses many different points of view from different characters. They also made sure there are laughs a-plenty, from a funny and awkward first meeting between a boyfriend and his girlfriend’s parents as he’s turning into a vampire (the father is a priest wearing a cross and the mother has made some garlic-encrusted fish dish) to the witty banter between teenagers (though perhaps a little dated by American standards). I also loved the backstory that opens the film, complete with Nazi soldiers being picked off by a vampire.

Surprisingly, the 30 days of night theme isn’t really touched on except for a line uttered towards the end of the film, but the night is ever-present and neither the audience nor the characters get any relief from the darkness. The night is used wisely by the director and cinematographer (Chris Maris) in creating a foreboding atmosphere. We are never quite sure what is hiding in the blackness beyond the street lamps, and that tension keeps us on the edge of our seats for the entire film.

The special FX used in Frostbitten are pretty impressive, especially when the red blood is contrasted against the white snow. It’s just bloody gore-geous! The Professor’s “transformation” at the end was also impressive and cool-looking! Usually CGI annoys me, but here it is done right and I barely even noticed it! I also enjoyed Sebastian’s gradual change and the vampire’s blood-red eyes! There were also buckets of blood used towards the end of the film, even one scene where an entire interior of a house is coated in the red stuff! Also, I have to note that death-by-lawn-gnome was one of the most inventive ways to kill a vampire I have ever seen!

With Frostbitten, Sweden has released one of the best modern vampire movies I’ve had the pleasure to see. Filled with witty repertoire, funny characters and buckets of blood, Frostbitten comes highly recommended from yours truly!

Available from Amazon!

Trick or Treat (1986)

To get in the Halloween spirit, I decided to watch the festively named Trick or Treat, the one that features Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons in cameo roles. Trick or Treat isn’t a great movie by any means, but it has a certain spellbinding charm that keeps it entertaining, and not just for metalheads.

Eddie (Marc Price, or “Skippy” from Family Ties as most people remember him) is a metalhead outcast at his high school. The jocks always pick on him and pull cruel pranks on him, like pushing him naked out into the school gym when the girl’s volleyball team is practicing. His outlet for all his anger and pent-up frustration is metal music, and his idol is rock star Sammi Curr (Tony Fields). When Sammi dies in a hotel fire, Eddie is devastated. A radio DJ (Gene Simmons) gives Eddie the studio master of Sammi’s unreleased record to cheer him up. After playing the record backwards, Eddie unwittingly unleashes the spirit of Sammi. At first, Eddie finds Sammi to be useful at getting revenge on the jocks, but soon realizes Sammi is evil. Sammi becomes more and more powerful until he materializes in the flesh on Halloween night to raise hell…

Trick or Treat was quite a surprise and I really found myself enjoying it. Though there aren’t any scares, its entertainment value alone makes it worth watching. The story is pretty original and I love how the filmmakers took a look at metal music and the big controversy that surrounded it in the ‘80s.

My one big gripe with the film was the poor pacing at the beginning. The first 30 – 45 minutes just crawl by and consist of scenes of Eddie being tormented at school, then getting home and blaring his metal music, then going back to school and being hassled again and returning home to listen to more metal in his gloomy room, rinse, repeat…you get the idea. I think just one scene of this would have elicited enough sympathy for Eddie at which point we could have gotten to the real action of the film.

The real action doesn’t start until somewhere around the one-hour mark, when Sammi is finally unleashed and starts strutting around, zapping people. My favorite part is when Sammi crashes the high school’s Halloween dance and puts on a killer performance – literally! He shoots electrical charges out of his guitar that basically pulverize his victims. He can also move through electrical currents and can get you pretty much anywhere there’s electricity.

The logistics, as well as the how’s and why’s of Sammi’s satanic, electrifying ways are never quite explained, but that niggling little problem is easily quieted by the overall fun you’ll have watching this flick. Besides a few unexplained, illogical plot points and a slow start, the film’s story (by Rhet Topham, with the screenplay written by Joel Soisson, Michael S. Murphey and Rhet Topham) is actually quite inventive. I mean, where else could you find an outcast metalhead conjuring up his dead rock star idol with a satanic ritual, causing irreparable harm to the neighborhood on Halloween? Not to mention all the killer ‘80s hair metal fashion – leather, chains, piercings, tattoos, and who can for get the big, frizzy, poofy hair!

The music, performed mainly by Fastway, is actually pretty good. It’ll put you in that metal state of mind! And, of course, the cameos by Ozzy Osbourne (as a conservative, religious/political pundit speaking out against metal music on TV) and Gene Simmons (as a radio DJ) are pretty enjoyable as well!

Surprisingly, the acting (even by Osbourne and Simmons) is well done. Marc Price plays a convincing teenager that’s fed up with the status quo and the mainstream. He is very relatable and I know many people (myself included) can relate to him and what he is going through in high school. I also loved Tony Fields’ portrayal of Sammi Curr…he completely nails it and had me checking on IMDB to see if he really was a rock star! He is just that good!

For a nostalgic kick, Trick or Treat is a fun movie that’ll take you back to hair metal’s heyday. Don’t expect any scares, but you’ll definitively be entertained by Trick or Treat’s music and unique story.

Metalhead or not, Trick or Treat is a definite horror movie treat!

Available from Amazon!

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil (1992)

The only thing consistent with the Prom Night series is how inconsistent the films are. The first film, with its standard slasher storyline and horrendous disco music is nonetheless still a fun film to watch. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II completely discarded the first Prom Night’s story and introduced us to Mary Lou Maloney, a malevolent ghost that comes back to claim her prom queen crown. The third installment, Prom Night III: The Last Kiss, continued with a new Mary Lou story, but Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil yet again ditches the previous storylines.

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil is about Father Jonas, a possessed, homicidal priest that kills two horny teenagers on prom night in 1957 (the same night Mary Lou was accidentally killed at the prom). The Catholic Church locks him in the basement of a church and keeps him sedated so he can do no more harm. In 1991 a new, young priest is put in charge of Jonas. Thinking he can help the homicidal maniac, he stops administering his meds and even gives him a nice, close shave. Jonas wakes up and busts outta the church, looking for more promiscuous teens to kill and “save.”

Lucky for Jonas, it is prom night! Two couples are getting ready for the big night (complete with a funny lesbian interlude), but instead of going to prom they decide to ditch it and spend the weekend at one of their parent’s weekend getaway houses. Problem is, the house used to be Father Jonas’ seminary home and he’s on his way back there also! Can the four horny teens survive the Father’s wrath?

Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil isn’t a slasher masterpiece, but I was surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it. The acting was alright, the characters didn’t get on my nerves and the villain was fun to watch! Of course, there wasn’t that much gore to speak of, there were more than a few inconsistencies and plot holes as well. For example, if it was prom, why was it snowing?? And, of course, there was the problem of Father Jonas not aging a day since he was imprisoned by the Church. Maybe years of solitary confinement are the solution for younger looking skin!

The characters were all very fun to watch. The innocent Meagan (Nikki de Boer) played well against the “experienced” Laura (Joy Tanner). The male characters weren’t as developed, but they did okay as well. It was surprising that there were no annoying characters to root for to die, which I thought was a nice change from your standard slasher fare. The villain of Father Jonas (James Carver) wasn’t necessarily scary, but he was very intense and did well in his role.

The kills really weren’t that interesting or memorable, but I did enjoy how slowly and methodically Father Jonas stalked the characters. On the downside, the film took about 45 minutes before the teens started getting knocked off. There are a few kills beforehand, but by the time the first teen “disappeared,” I was getting antsy. With just four people in an isolated house to kill, things did get a little slow.

Despite its problems, though, Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil is a decidedly fun, underrated slasher film. I’m not sure why the filmmakers decided to affiliate it with the Prom Night series because it would have done much better as a stand-alone film. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t let dreaded “sequel-itis” stop you from checking out Prom Night IV.

Available from Amazon!

Prom Night III: The Last Kiss (1990)

In this third installment of the inconsistent Prom Night series (hardly any of the movies follow the same mythology), everyone’s favorite prom queen, Mary Lou, returns! Prom Night III: The Last Kiss finds Mary Lou back from the dead and falling for a hunky high school student. While Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II and Prom Night III have no resemblance to the original Prom Night or Prom Night IV: Deliver Us From Evil, they are by far the cheekiest and most fun in the series.

Meet your average Joe, high school student Alex Grey. Alex gets average grades, is an average football player, has an average shoe size (hardy-har!) and is fed up with being ordinary. One night, he has a “close” (by close I mean sexy) encounter with the high school’s resident ghost, Mary Lou Mahoney, who was burned to death on prom night many years ago. Mary Lou has somehow been freed from Hell and once again is stalking the halls of Hamilton High.

Mary Lou falls head over heels for Alex and soon has him under her sultry spell. She helps him ace tests and become a star football player, killing anyone who gets in her or his way. She wants Alex to be with her forever and ever, but Alex’s girlfriend Sarah isn’t gonna take this news lying down.

Can Alex and Sarah get rid of Mary Lou before she kills any more people and drags Alex home with her…to Hell?!

Prom Night III: The Last Kiss works quite well because of its razor-sharp wit, penned by Ron Oliver, who returns from writing duties on Prom Night II and also helps co-direct the third installment. Prom Night III is infused with bitingly black humor that makes the film both extremely fun and very self-aware. There are quite a few self-referential jokes throughout the film that should tickle horror fans’ funny bones. Oliver’s script makes the film, because without its flair the film would just be another mediocre supernatural slasher movie.

The acting is also above average, with Courtney Taylor filling Lisa Schrage’s (from Prom Night II) high-heeled shoes as Mary Lou. Tim Conlon does a great job as the popularity-hungry Alex, though I felt his girlfriend Sarah, played by Cynthia Preston, was a bit bland.

The kills were all pretty cool, though a little odd at times (human ice cream sundae anyone?). My favorite was probably the “makeover” scene, in which the guidance counselor is placed under a salon hair dryer only to have acid dumped all over her! Yes, there are some pretty nifty and funny death scenes throughout the movie, as well as some hilarious lines (“Don’t worry – it’s only a guidance counselor”).

My only complaint with the film was the ending, which seemed to stretch on forever. They even brought out the undead to draaaaaaag it out. What had started as a tongue-in-cheek supernatural slasher quickly devolved into something a bit long-in-the-tooth. If the whole “Hell” scene had been avoided or edited a little shorter, I think this would have been a much more enjoyable film.

Nonetheless, Prom Night III: The Last Kiss is a very enjoyable film that is equally witty and gory to satisfy a horror fan on a lazy weekend.

Pucker up and enjoy!

Available from Amazon!

Automaton Transfusion (2008)

I anxiously awaited the release of the zombie indie flick Automaton Transfusion on DVD because of all the hype surrounding it. Reportedly made for under $30,000, writer/director Steven C. Miller shot the movie in 9 hectic days, with cast and crew putting in 18 hour days. The movie’s premiere was in 2006 at the Screamfest Film Festival in Hollywood, California, but the film wasn’t picked up for distribution until Dimension Extreme bought it and wasn’t released until March 11, 2008.

Miller has said that Automaton Transfusion is a throwback to the frantically shot, bloody 1980’s horror flicks from his youth. While Automaton has even been called “the Holy Grail of ‘true’ independent horror,” it doesn’t stand up to the very films Miller was trying to emulate or even to current like-minded (and like-budgeted) zombie movies.

Two groups of high school seniors are looking forward to a night of partying. The jocks and cheerleaders are all having a party at some isolated house in the middle of nowhere. Among them is cheerleader Jackie (Juliet Reeves), who takes a lot of crap from her preppie friends from dating “stoner” Chris (Garrett Jones). Meanwhile, Chris and his friends Scott (William Howard Bowman) and Tim (Rowan Bousaid) are on their way into the city to see a band. Pretty soon, they notice that there are no other cars on a usually busy road. When they arrive into the city the streets are deserted. It seems that there are no other people around…until they hear a low roar and the sound of stampeding feet coming from around the corner. As hundreds of zombies are suddenly upon them, they run into a bar to seek refuge momentarily.

Back at the party, zombies have also found the group of teens. As Jackie hides in the bathroom, she sees her friends devoured by the bloodthirsty undead. Pretty soon, Chris and friends make it out of the bar and back into town to rescue Jackie. The group decides to head to the high school to find help, but soon discover that the U.S. military is behind the whole zombie outbreak and has been experimenting with the undead for decades in their hometown.

Really, I don’t see what the big deal is with Automaton Transfusion. Sure, it can be a fun zombie flick if you overlook its (many) flaws, but there are PLENTY of other low-budget zombie films that were made for LESS that are much better.

The story (written by Steven C. Miller) is full of plot holes and inconsistencies. This is probably what bugged me the most about this film. For example, in the beginning party-goers are complaining about how far they have to drive to get to the isolated house for the party (which, oddly, is being held at 5:00pm??), but later in the film this house is only a few minutes away from the high school. Also, the instantaneous spread of the zombie infection was never adequately explained either…how did so many people get infected so fast? The fast spread of the zombie disease was not explained adequately and was not believable. I’m usually not nit-picky when it comes to a few plot holes or inconsistencies, but this film was packed with so many of them that you couldn’t NOT notice (or ignore) them. Films, especially low-budget ones, should focus on the story first and foremost. Things within the story should be logical and make sense, which unfortunately isn’t the case in Automaton Transfusion.

As for the cliffhanger ending (supposedly this was only part one of a trilogy), it’ll probably just piss you off and make you want to skip the next two installments instead of looking forward to them.

This is a zombie film, though, and I know you’re thinking, “To hell with the story, what about the gore??” To which I can respond, “IT ROCKED!” One of the few things that the film actually does right is the gore, which just might be enough for some people. The practical SFX applied here work wonders for the film. The most memorable scene (and probably the only thing this film will be remembered for) is an impromptu abortion performed by a member of the undead. There is also an impressive jaw-ripping scene that is sure to curl your toes! The rest of the film features the standard ocular impaling, heads blown off with a shotgun, head bashings, gut munchings and so on.

The gore is excellent, but your view of it might be impeded by the shoddy use of the “shaky cam” technique. I am not anti-shaky cam, but I believe it must be used sparingly or in context with the film (see the fabulous Cloverfield, where this actually worked)! Many times you couldn’t tell what was happening or who was eating who. I think this was used to help hide the low-budget look of the film, but really it just made it seem more amateur than it was. Note to filmmakers: You want your special effects and horrifying story to nauseate the audience – NOT your camerawork!!

On the positive side, most of the actors held their own (except for some cases of PAINFUL overacting). The standout was Garrett Jones as Chris. As opposed to the macho tough guy we usually find in zombie films, Jones brought some much needed emotion to the character of Chris. After a particularly personal loss, he sits in a car at a loss for words until he lets his pain out with a gut-wrenching yell. This was probably the most poignant, powerful scene in the film.

As for the zombies, I thought they did an excellent job with them! These aren’t your typical slow-moving, shambling reanimated dead! These suckers are specially engineered by the military to think and to move extremely quickly. The result is organized groups of zombies that can run your sorry ass down in an instant.
Another positive aspect is the killer hardcore soundtrack for the film. I really enjoyed the tunes, though at times it appeared to be an infomercial for the band Dancefloor Tragedy. The original music, by Jamey Scott, also helped set the chaotic mood throughout the movie.

Still, despite these few positive points I wasn’t too impressed with Automaton Transfusion. Ultimately, I think many fans will be let down by this movie. There are so many other low-budget zombie films (take, for instance, the hilarious and entertaining Die and Let Live) that are infinitely better than Automaton.

If you’re looking for a fast-paced, gore-filled zombie movie, Automaton may satisfy your need but it will do so at the costly expense of a solid story and decent camerawork. I’d say to look elsewhere before choosing this disappointing film.

Available from Amazon!

Driftwood (2007)

Tim Sullivan, director or 2001 Maniacs, follows up that 2005 gorefest with the much more subdued ghost/coming-of-age tale Driftwood. Driftwood is Sullivan’s deeply personal and very heartfelt film and, at its best, shows he is no one-trick pony good for only raucous and bloody horror comedies. At worst, though, it’s a mediocre ghost tale that plays more like a dramatic after-school special than a horror film.

David Forrester (Ricky Ullman) finds himself placed in Driftwood, a detention center for troubled male youths after his parents (the familiar faces of Lin Shayne and Marc McClure) read a blog he’d written about death, which leads them to think he would harm himself. David just lost his older brother to an overdose, but his parents just don’t understand his fixation with his death. They think that Captain Kennedy (Diamond Dallas Page) can straighten him out and teach him how to be “a man” within his youth rehabilitation compound (aka prison). David is immediately branded a smart-ass and heckled by the Captain and his underlings. He is even forced to run “the gauntlet,” a military-style course, while his Level 1 bunk mates beat him. David keeps his cool and a stiff upper lip and earns the respect of the others. Meanwhile, David keeps seeing a ghostly presence and learns that the Captain’s nephew, Jonathan, who was also interned there, mysteriously disappeared. As he gets closer to solving the mystery, he may very well put his own life and the lives of those around him in peril.

Tim Sullivan is a sweetheart and I really wanted to like this film. No matter how much I like the director personally, though, a review is ultimately about the FILM itself and shouldn’t be biased. Not to worry, I’ll be as honest with my review as I normally am. While Driftwood would have functioned perfectly fine as a drama or coming-of-age story, its horror aspects fall disappointingly short. And I’m not talking just blood and guts here. While I absolutely loved 2001 Maniacs, I went into Driftwood knowing it would be tonally different. I didn’t want a hilarious gorefest. I wanted a smart, thrilling ghost story. Instead, I got a well-directed, well-acted teen movie about overcoming opposition and staying true to one’s self. Hmmmm…not exactly what I signed on for…

As just mentioned, Driftwood is directed and acted very well. Tim Sullivan creates a brooding, morose atmosphere within the prison of Driftwood. The stark and sterile place is the LAST place people should want to place their “troubled” kids. Driftwood’s ruined grounds, dark corners and unused rooms create a forlorn and lonely atmosphere. The atmosphere is reflected in the characters, all who have been condemned for being “different” and “troubled” when really they are just normal kids on their way to growing up. The actors do a wonderful job portraying their individual characters, especially Ricky Ullman as David. His eyes convey such deep and violent emotion that immediately reminded me of my own teenage angst days. On the flip side, you have a terrifically terrifying Diamond Dallas Page as the mean Captain. His performance is probably the best of all, bringing an all-too-real horror to the screen.

Still, despite the creepy direction, depressing atmosphere and great performances, I found the “ghost” aspect of the story to be sadly lacking. While the film starts off like the Thai film Dorm or Guerillmo del Toro’s masterful The Devil’s Backbone, it quickly devolves into silly jump scares and flashes of the ghost. There is no feeling of dread and definitely no good scares. The ghost himself looks like an Insane Clown Posse member when we first get a good glimpse of him. His eyes and mouth are ringed in black makeup in stark contrast against his white face, making him look more comical than anything else. There are no scenes that sent chills down my spine and the “mystery” surrounding the ghost was pretty obvious. Everything involving the ghost just seemed very amateur. I will say that the only creepy scene, involving David trying to convince his visiting parents what is really going on, a locked door and a disturbing image on a security camera, was done very effectively. I just wish there were more scenes like that throughout the film, because the rest of it plays like a bunch of misfits learning that there is nothing wrong with being themselves, solving a mystery and sticking it to The Man…kinda like a darker John Hughes movie with a Scooby Doo twist.

Tim Sullivan’s heartfelt tale comes off as a little too much drama, not enough horror. While it certainly doesn’t lack solid direction or acting, its story just didn’t focus on enough thrilling or horrifying elements to keep my attention, and I am a reviewer in the horror genre that actually LIKES movies with a slow burn.
Ultimately, Driftwood is a disappointing and, yes, boring film. Good for a rental if you want to see a very different style from director Tim Sullivan.

Available from Amazon!

The Clique (aka Death Clique) (2006)

A group of high school students are on their way to spend the weekend at an isolated cabin in the woods. It’s nearing graduation time, and the kids just want to let loose and have fun. On the car ride there, one of them casually mentions that Bobby Nichols, an outcast in high school who supposedly butchered his entire family, was released just a few days ago. Meanwhile, it seems that Bobby has followed them up to the cabin and has his own plans…

As secrets are revealed all linking each of them to Bobby, the teens start getting murdered one by one…and the remaining are left fighting to survive against an unseen killer. Is Bobby finally getting his revenge or does someone else have a secret to protect?

The Clique is a throwback to the 80s slasher-in-the-woods film, but it doesn’t really offer anything new. My biggest complaint was that the murders themselves were so blah…a little creativity would have come in handy with the killings. Knife stabbings and throats slit can only go so far before they become repetitive.

The Clique is a low-budget film, and I must say that the acting was not all bad. There was a little overacting once the teens realize there is a killer on the loose, but for the most part everyone played their part very well. Plus, the kids actually looked like high school seniors instead of 20-somethings playing teenagers. The acting is probably one of the strengths of this film. I really enjoyed cutie Ryan Carty as Bobby in his first feature-film. He had just a few scenes, but boy, did he command attention every time he appeared!

The story itself is fairly typical…a bunch of kids stuck in an isolated cabin twenty miles from civilization, no cell phone reception, no phones and no keys to their SUV. Secrets are revealed that piss everyone off and when people start separating themselves from the group, they get picked off by the killer. The story, written by Monica Ortiz, is nothing new and the ending is far from satisfying. I thought the story got stretched pretty thin when the identity of the killer is revealed. Sure, it was a surprise, but it came out of left field and it just felt tacked on. The killer’s motive even seemed far-fetched. There were some other plot points within the story that didn’t feel believable at all.

As for film quality, there are a few scenes that are lit a bit too darkly and you can’t quite see what’s going on. It is a low-budget film, so the film is pretty grainy throughout. Still, the direction by David Basulto is solid and there is one scene in particular that is set in the woods that is very well-done.

The Clique is by no means a bad film, but it also isn’t a good one either. If you’re in the mood for an updated slasher flick set in a cabin in the woods, by all means check this out. If you’re looking for something with a little more substance and that is memorable, skip The Clique.

Buy The Clique aka Death Clique!

Bloody Reunion (2006)

Everyone dreads their school reunions...I haven't had mine yet, but I imagine that everyone is a little older, a little fatter, a little slower and that the music will still suck. Everyone pretends to like each other and pretends to actually be interested in one another's lives. People will be horribly dressed, be wearing too much makeup (or not enough), there will be horrible food and even worse music. Yet we all go back and play nice, hoping to brag about our lives and see how we compare to the peers we grew up with. Some people just can't let the past go, though, and feel that those that hurt them must pay...

Mrs. Park used to be an elementary school teacher who has fallen ill. One of her old students is caring for her at her seaside house and thinks that if Mrs. Park can see her old students again she'll be able to die happy. Mrs. Park has no family left, except for her deformed child who doesn't live with her anymore. As her students arrive one by one, we find out through flashbacks that Mrs. Park isn't as sweet as she seemed. As a teacher she had a cruel streak that has affected the lives of those she taught forever. She also used to lock her deformed child (who wore a bunny mask to hide his face) in the basement while the other children made fun of him. As the mood of the reunion turns confrontational, it seems that all of Mrs. Park's old students have murderous intentions towards her. Soon, people start dying gruesome deaths at the hands of a bunny-masked killer. Is Mrs. Park's son back for revenge on her and the students that taunted him? Is one of Mrs. Park's students to blame? And you thought your school reunions were torture...

Though Bloody Reunion takes elements from American slasher movies (the isolated setting, the masked killer, the brutal deaths) it still maintains its Asian sensibilities. It is beautifully shot, doesn't rely on massive amounts of T&A, is intelligent and actually has a twist that I didn't see coming. The ending left many things unexplained and left me a little bit confused, though. The story of Mrs. Park's deformed son is never fully explained and some plot points are never fully developed. I still enjoyed the film even with these flaws, but it left me disappointed that the story wasn't as solid as I'd hoped.

The killings took off with a bang - the first victim is tied up and forced to ingest razorblades while the second has her eyes stapled open. There were instances where I flinched and even had to cover my eyes a few times. Yet, after the first initial kills the killings get a little bit stale and we don't get to see nearly enough.

The acting is all alright, but I never felt connected to the characters. None of them were especially likable, but since most of them got sliced and diced, it didn't matter too much anyway!

Bloody Reunion has its flaws, but overall it's a fun Asian slasher film with twists and turns to keep you guessing and no long-haired child ghosts to get in the way!

Buy Bloody Reunion!

Night of the Living Dorks (2004)

Night of the Living Dorks is a riotous, raucous German horror-comedy that had me rolling on the floor with its raunchy humor, fun story and clever nods to other great zombie flicks.

Philip (Tino Mewes) and his best friends Konrad (Thomas Schmieder) and Weener (Manuel Cortez) are the three biggest losers at Frederich Nietzsche High. But when an inept voodoo ceremony by the local Goth clique leads to a fatal car accident, this trio of uber-dorks returns as indestructible zombies with an insatiable appetite for human flesh, wild parties and gym class revenge. Can Philip now score with the hottest girl in school before he decomposes? Is there any personal dismemberment that can’t be fixed with a stapler? And even if an antidote is found, will it damper the uninhibited high life of the undead?

Night of the Living Dorks combines the raunchiness of 80’s teen sex romps with the blood ‘n’ guts action of a Romero zombie flick. Darling of the festival circuit, this horror-comedy was the winner of the Audience Choice Award at the 2005 Fantasia Film Festival. Now it has finally hit stateside and is available to own on DVD courtesy of wonderful Anchor Bay Entertainment.

I have only good things to say about the film…Let’s start with the great performances throughout the entire film. The actors playing the three dorks were very natural and a pleasure to watch in action, especially when they began losing body parts and they begin getting a little…hungry. Their comedic timing was pitch-perfect! Special mention should also go to Collien Fernandes, who played Philip’s Goth friend/next-door-neighbor who has a crush on him. The rest of the actors did a great job as well, from Philip’s lax mom (Sissi Perlinger) to the typical clique kids you find in high school to their hard-partying and sexy teacher, Frau Niedermacher (Patricia Thielemann).

The story and characters are all well-developed and writer/director Mathias Dinter did a wonderful job with the film. It is more of a comedy than a horror movie, so there isn’t that much gore, but the wonderful comedic elements more than make up for it. The one-liners are much more racy than anything American films could get away with and of course this makes it that much more hilarious.

I loved the Revenge of the Nerds angle that went hand-in-hand with the three geeks’ increased strength from being undead. They were able to beat down (and chow down) on the bullies who harassed them and even beat the formidable rugby team in a match. Maybe I’m just a nerd at heart, but the combination of geeks turning the tables on the popular kids with the added bonus of being zombies while doing so just sets my heart all a-flutter.

I was a little disappointed that there was hardly any blood and guts, but again, the comedic elements makes up for it. Be warned, though, this film is not straight horror, and contains more comedy (and less serious moments) than even Shaun of the Dead. It also doesn’t contain the high levels of nudity and sex that many 80’s teen comedies feature. It is still a very enjoyable and entertaining movie…ah, if only The Breakfast Club had featured a couple of zombies in that library…

The extras on the disc are well worth checking out and include a look behind the scenes, deleted and extended scenes, an alternate ending, theatrical trailer and a blooper reel. If you enjoy horror-comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Freak Out, you are sure to enjoy Night of the Living Dorks.

Available on Amazon!