Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Despite being sick on The Cabin in the Woods’ opening night, I still bundled up and trooped out to the theater because there was no way I was missing catching this flick on Friday the 13th! It has been one of my most anticipated movies of 2012 as 1.) I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon and 2.) it actually looked like it would do something fresh and different with the horror genre.

There has been a lot of hype and build-up surrounding this film, and just today I saw tons of Twitter and Facebook updates proclaiming how "______" Cabin in the Woods was. I hate when flicks get spoiled by too much hype, so I tried to put myself on a social media lockdown for the day to avoid any spoilage.

I avoided any spoilers, made it to the theater and decided for myself just how "______" Cabin in the Woods was...

In the film, five college kids head to a remote cabin for some weekend relaxation, but soon find that things aren’t exactly what they appear. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

The best way to see this movie is with little or zero knowledge of it, so I'll keep this review short and to the point (and spoiler-free). The film is pretty much a horror fan's wet dream, as it cleverly plays with expectations, toys with horror clichés, tips its hat to many horror films AND adds something quite different and unexpected to the horror movie formula.

I laughed, I jumped, I rooted for both sides and completely reveled in the sharp writing by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (who directed as well). The Cabin in the Woods is one heck of an entertaining time from start to finish and left me with a big goofy grin on my face hours after I watched it. That's pretty much all you need to know, besides the fact that it has many different facets to its seemingly simple story.

If you’re a horror fan that enjoys smart, original and witty horror films, then I highly encourage you to check it out ASAP! It was totally worth avoiding the hoopla on Facebook and Twitter all day and sucking up a fever/sore throat to watch it opening weekend. Believe me, this is one film that actually lives up to the buzz surrounding it and is definitely one you don't want to miss!

Team Mer-Man! (You'll understand when you see the flick...now go see it!!)

Book Review: DJ Zom-B and the Ungrateful Dead by Vinnie Penn

DJ Zom-B is a fast-paced debut zombie novel from author Vinnie Penn, who is the host of radio talk show The Vinnie Penn Project as well as an online contributing writer to MSN, Maxim and Cracked. As the book starts, our lead character, Luke Zombulli, better known to the world as abrasive radio personality DJ Zom-B, wakes up to the hellish world of a zombie apocalypse. After holing up in his apartment for a few days, he decides to venture out to the local radio station in hopes of broadcasting and searching for other survivors. Once there he meets other survivors but learns that humans are just as deadly, and much more twisted, than the zombies roaming the streets.

DJ Zom-B is a fun and thrilling book from Penn, though it is a little short in length at 171 pages. Penn, who has experience in the broadcasting industry, delivers quirky observations and quick witted comments through smart-ass (but inherently likable) DJ Zom-B. The zombie action isn’t half bad either, but the real terror doesn’t start until the villains of the book, some unlawful lawmen, arrive to round up both survivors and zombies. They plan on using the zombies, as well as the survivors, for their own personal, errrr, “entertainment”. Yup, it’s just as bad as it sounds!

The book also features a pop princess, her lovelorn deejay, a sound engineer that may or may not be turning into a zombie and several other characters that look to DJ Zom-B for leadership. Some of the characters are more developed than others (for good reason, since some characters quickly become zombie snacks), but we get a good feel for those in for the long haul.

I originally thought that the book would stick to a storyline like the film Pontypool (review) or even Dead Air (review), but the book doesn’t take place mainly in a DJ booth, but rather all over the state of Connecticut as the survivors try to escape the zombie hordes and unscrupulous lawmen. This was a relief for me, because I didn’t want to read a re-hash of these fine films. I also thought the despicable acts by the lawmen were far more horrifying than the gut-munching the zombies were doing, and was glad that Penn shifted his gaze a bit from the terror of the zombies to the callousness of humans.

While DJ Zom-B is a fun zombie novel, I thought it would have perhaps worked a bit better had it been condensed into a short story instead. There are several points in the book that just drag on a bit too much and I feel the story could have been more efficiently streamlined. Nonetheless, DJ Zom-B was an enjoyable read and is recommended for fans of zombie (and human) mayhem.

Available on Amazon!

Scream 4 (2011)

When I first heard they were making another Scream film, I was full of trepidation. I loved the original Scream, and while the sequels weren’t as good, I enjoyed them nonetheless. The Scream trilogy was a big part of my high school experience and I still remember catching them in theaters and watching them again and again at home. Scream 3 came out in 2000, though, and I really wondered if the large time span between films would be detrimental to the series.

Luckily, the film itself takes place a decade after the events of Scream 3. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) returns to Woodsboro on the anniversary of the infamous Woodsboro Massacre to kick off a book tour for her new self-help autobiography. However, Ghostface has also returned to settle the score and starts picking off the locals and seems to have Sidney’s niece Jill (Emma Roberts) in his sights. Partnering again with the now-married Dewey (David Arquette) and Gale (Courteney Cox), can Sidney stop the new Ghostface, who seems to be playing by new, updated movie rules?

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much from Scream 4 (gah, I refuse to use it’s lame Scre4m moniker), but I was excited to see what director Wes Craven and writer Kevin Williamson had done with the series. The film has a clever opening (though it got a bit tired pretty fast) that was quite gory before introducing us to our new cast of high schoolers and re-introducing the familiar faces. I actually liked the self-aware cast of new characters, most who either become red herrings or dead meat. I also enjoyed how the returning characters were crafted to show their development and growth as people. Despite the fact that the Scream films are considered slashers, I have always appreciated the development that has gone into the films’ characters.

I also appreciated that the film has changed with the times and adapted the “new rules” of the post-slasher era (all the while having a bit of fun with “the rules” and poking fun at several other franchises, namely the Saw series). However, I was disappointed to find that the film still relied on the tired cliché of female victims being hacked to bits while most of the male victims were dispatched quickly (or stupidly – a knife to the middle of the forehead, really?). With all the “rules” being mixed up, you’d think either Craven or Williamson would switch up this most tiresome trope of slashers (or the horror genre in general), but no such luck.

I also thought that while the first two acts were strong and suspenseful, the third act pretty much lags until the climax. The “Stab-a-thon” party scene and the after-party scenes would have probably worked better if they were both condensed down a bit. However, once we get past that small pacing speedbump the film delivers with a great climax and conclusion.

I may have pointed out several negatives I found with the film, but the truth is I really enjoyed Scream 4. I love the characters, both new and old, the “new rules” introduced, the witty dialogue and of course, the death scenes (errr, besides the unbelievable knife through the skull previously mentioned). I really find it a pity that more horror fans aren’t checking this film out. Scream 4 may not be perfect, but it’s a hell of a fun time and well worth the admission price. I highly encourage you to check out this horror sequel that actually delivers!

Buy it on Amazon!

Demon Divas and the Lanes of Damnation (2011)

A little disclaimer here: I loathe bowling. Maybe it’s cuz I suck at it, maybe because I hate lugging around heavy balls (*snicker*) and the funky foot-odor smell of most bowling alleys, or maybe it’s because I find bowling so boring, but for these reasons and many more it is just not my thing. However, perhaps if bowling was a little more interesting, say, with a few evil demons involved, bowling would certainly appeal to me a little more.

Lucky for me, Demon Divas and the Lanes of Damnation features a cast of sexy demons who own bowling alley Coventry Lanes and who are intent on devouring their customers. However, there is a catch…the demons must wait to satiate their appetites until someone asks them for a wish. That someone happens to be waitress Lisa (Nikki McCrea), who is fed up with a group of sorority sisters who have made her life a living hell. To get her crush Johnny (Aaron Bernard) to notice her and to give the sorority sisters what they deserve, she asks Coventry Lanes owners (played by Brinke Stevens, Debbie Rochon, Amy Lynn Best, Lilith Stabs and Robyn Griggs) to help her get payback. However, the hellfire and bloodthirsty demons she brings down on the bowling alley isn’t quite what she expected…

Inspired by ‘80s horror-comedies like Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Demon Divas and the Lanes of Damnation is a fun, low-budget film from Happy Cloud Pictures. It takes a lot of cues from Sorority Babes, including plot points (i.e. demons and wishes) and naming its characters after ones from the ‘80s cult classic. It even features Brinke Stevens, who actually starred in Sorority Babes.

The majority of the film takes place in the bowling alley, which limits its story a bit, however filmmaker Mike Watt does an excellent job of keeping the action moving and doesn’t allow the audience to really get bored. The character development is adequate, with several quirky characters nearly stealing the show! I thought Nikki McCrea as the beleaguered Lisa did an excellent job as the lead, and found Sofiya Smirnova, who played her friend Taffy, to be absolutely darling! I just wish a bit more attention had been focused on the demon characters; I would have loved to see Debbie Rochon and Brinke Stevens have a bit more to do.

All in all, Demon Divas and the Lanes of Damnation is a fun horror-comedy for fans of independent cinema. It certainly doesn’t reinvent the horror genre, but it is a pleasant enough way to spend a breezy hour and some change.

Buy it on Amazon!

For more info, please visit www.happycloudpictures.com!

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is another wacky, over-the-top and ultra-gory film from filmmakers Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Meatball Machine) and Naoyuki Tomomatsu (Zombie Self-Defense Force, Stacy). If you are a fan of zany, weird and off-kilter horror films drenched in cartoonish gore, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl might be right up your alley!

Monami (Yukie Kawamura) is just your basic love-struck high-schooler mooning over the dreamy Mizushima (Takumi Saitô). She professes her love with a chocolate candy she presents him on Valentine’s Day, but when Mizushima bites into it he discovers it is filled with blood…Monami’s blood. Turns out she is really a vampire and wants to turn him so they can spend the rest of their long lives together. However, Mizushima’s current girlfriend Keiko (Eri Otoguro) doesn’t take the news too kindly…but after she confronts Monami she meets a bloody end (but perhaps not in the way you would expect). However, she is soon resurrected by her mad scientist father, who patches her together with body parts from her schoolmates and resurrects her as Frankenstein Girl. Frankenstein Girl then faces off against Vampire Girl in the final battle for Mizushima’s heart.

Ok, how can you go wrong with gore so over-the-top it’s comical, butt-kicking chicks, weird Japanese fashion, melodramatic high school angst, a Dr. Frankenstein mad scientist, vampires, geisha Frankenstein monsters, and some of the most seriously disturbing high school clubs this side of Sweet Valley High? You can’t, that’s how! Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is a seriously strange film, but that’s why I liked it so much!

The majority of the film deals with the love triangle between Monami, Mizushima and Keiko in the setting of their high school. During this part of the film we meet the main characters’ classmates, including a group of Japanese girls pretending to be black (complete with extreme caricatures/stereotypes like big lips, Afros, gold chains, etc.) who run a black power club and another group of girls who belong to the wrist-cutting club. Both of these clubs and their members were so over-the-top that you just can’t help but laugh! It also pokes fun at stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl and gothic Lolita fashions.  Then there is Keiko’s dad, who at first appears to be a mild-mannered science teacher and assistant principal…however, it is revealed later that he is a cackling mad scientist who is killing off students to try to bring them back to life, Frankenstein-style. He even has a wacky costume complete with traditional Japanese robes, long white wig and Kabuki makeup. Again, another outrageous character you can’t help but laugh at.

The film carries this comical tone throughout, even during the gory fight scenes. The opening scene alone, where Monami battles three Frankenstein monster-like girls, sets the tone for the rest of the film because it is just so gosh darn goofy! Monami strips the skin off the girls’ faces and in the midst of it raining blood she neatly stacks the clacking skulls one on top of the other. The rest of the gore is equally graphic, but still humorous. And you can’t beat the final battle that occurs on top of a fake Eiffel Tower!

My one gripe is that the film focuses too much on the teenage angst and drama (even if it is in a satirical, humorous way) and we don’t get to see the Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl battle until the very end. Keiko doesn’t even turn into Frankenstein Girl until nearly the end, which is kind of a let down since this means Frankenstein Girl doesn’t get much screen time. And for being a vampire, Monami doesn’t spill that much blood with her fangs (no attacks on fellow classmates, for example), not to mention that she can walk in the sun (though too much exposure makes her woozy).

Despite these quibbles, I had a very fun time with Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl. While it is not as shocking as other extreme Asian films, its silliness definitely won me over. And despite its ridiculous nature, the film spills quite a bit of grue. If you are a fan of bizarre and outlandish cinema, I highly encourage you to check out Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl!

Available from Amazon

Night of the Punks (2010)

Small town punk rockers The Brain Deads have their first out of town gig. But there are a few problems: The venue is totally deserted, the promoter is a creep, their bass player has gone missing, and the only kids in the audience are bloodthirsty monsters from hell. It’s gonna take a lot more than a few power chords and teenage angst to survive this night.

Night of the Punks is a sweet little slice of short film heaven packed full of gore, goo and groovy tunes! This is one of the most fun short films I’ve seen recently and it is a really fun throwback to films like Return of the Living Dead and Night of the Demons. It has such a manic, gleeful tone and perfectly balances horror and comedy. With a run-time under 20 minutes, the only flaw of this film is that it is not feature-length, because I would have loved to see the cast of lovable losers face off against more demons while trading witty lines.

Everything about this film was enjoyable, from the energetic punk soundtrack to the colorful characters to the direction to the gory effects to the overall high production value!! Director Dan Riesser (who also produced, edited and co-wrote the film) has created an instant cult classic with Night of the Punks. His direction really brought the story, written by himself and Mike L. Kinshella (who plays the lead singer “Spike” in the short and in real life is the singer for the horror punk band Murderland), to raucous life.

The cast also does a wonderful job with their characters and there wasn’t a bad performance in the bunch! I especially enjoyed Nick Mundy, who plays “Hooch”, the drummer, Luke Edwards as “Kenny” the guitarist and our underdog hero, and Aubrey Wood, who plays the band’s merch girl “Sarah”. Everyone else was wonderful as well, from the sleazy promoter played by Dominic Deleo to the band’s lead singer (Mike L. Kinshella) and bassist (John Bobek) to the actors that portrayed the gooey demons.

The gore displayed was also impressive, with the special effects and makeup design being done by Dizzworks Designs. You get your usual blood and guts, but there is also a gruesome face peel that was extremely well done! I also liked the demons’ makeup design, which makes them look like they’ve got a gangrenous skin condition. And their gooey green bodily fluids were pretty icky as well (I mean that as a complement, ya hear?).

Plus, the script is peppered with hilarious lines riffing on everything from the music industry to horror. Quips come fast and furious, and it’s worth a re-watch just to chuckle over the hilarious one-liners, such as:

Hooch: How do you stop a f*cking demon?

Sarah: I dunno Hooch, you’re the one who listens to Misfits!

Night of the Punks is an ode to ‘80s horror films filled with musical mayhem, demonic punks, gooey gore, colorful dialogue – all happening at a fast and furious pace. If there is one short film you see this year, make it Night of the Punks!

P.S. Word on the street is that the filmmakers are attempting to make a feature-length version of this film. My fingers are crossed that this happens!

Check out the film’s official site!

Ninjas vs. Vampires (2010)

From the creator’s of the cult smash Ninjas vs. Zombies comes Ninjas vs. Vampires, a fun independent film that boasts plenty of action, comedy and horror! Written and directed by Justin Timpane, Ninjas vs. Vampires is full of hilarious one-liners, lots of sword-swinging, martial arts action, spilled blood and even a bit of magic.

It tells the tale of Aaron, who moments after he is rejected by the girl of his dreams is attacked by vampires. Luckily they are both saved by mysterious ninjas. Aaron tracks down the ninjas for answers and soon becomes involved in the ninja vs. vampire war.

As mentioned above, this was a fun independent film of pretty high quality. It did have its flaws, namely some over-acting and cheesy effects, but its flaws soon became part of its quirky charm! What really made me dig the film so much was the witty dialogue, delivered by aplomb by the leads. The dialogue really made me care for the good guys and made me want to keep watching.

I also thought the action scenes between the vampires and the ninjas were really well-choreographed and entertaining to boot. Sure, some of the special effects involving fire, muzzle blasts, etc. were unrealistic-looking, but considering the low budget nature of the film I was willing to let these flaws slide. Plus, the martial arts/action scenes were kick ass regardless of the weak CGI.

The storyline was well-written, with enough exposition to help us understand the “rules” of the vampires and the ninja’s accelerated training. I also liked how they incorporated magic into the plot without coming off as cheesy. Timpane did a great job developing the characters and giving them distinct voices. I really dug the lead of Aaron, played by Jay Saunders, but all the characters were pretty likable. The only one I didn’t really like was the lead vampire, who just seemed a bit too stereotypical to me. The actor who played the lead vamp came off kind of wooden as well.

However, overall Ninjas vs. Vampires is a fun, action-filmed romp that was surprisingly entertaining. It had awesome action sequences, characters we cared about and an engaging and unique storyline. Want to find out who wins this war? Then check out Ninjas vs. Vampires to find out!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Grave Humor by M.T. Coffin

I love frequenting cemeteries. They are so peaceful, so beautiful and so…funny? If you’ve ever taken the time to read headstones, you know exactly what I mean. There are some pretty amusing epitaphs and unfortunate names that grace the tombstones of cemeteries out there. And now you don’t even have to step foot in a cemetery to get a good laugh out of them!

The new book Grave Humor: A Photo Tour of Funny, Ironic and Ridiculous Tombstones by M.T. Coffin is a creepy-cute book that will tickle your funny bone! It’ll delight you with its witty jokes, quirky gothic illustrations and funny photos!

Check out the official description:

People act like being dead is so serious.

But if you’ve spent any time in a cemetery, you know a lot of those dearly departed have to be rolling over in their graves – with laughter. This collection of ironic, comic and just plain ridiculous tombstones proves that it’s possible to have a sense of humor about kicking the bucket. Just be careful you don’t laugh yourself to death.

Who says death is a serious subject? From amusing epitaphs (“I knew this would happen”) to comical burials (the Maxwell-House plot), this irreverent anthology of cemetery humor proves there is humor even in death. This book celebrates the lighter side of death through photos capturing amusing and ironic monuments to the dearly departed.

Sections include: “The Last Laugh: Funny Epitaphs”; “True to Form: Snapshots of Humorous and Oddly Designed Headstones”; “Dumm and Dummer: Rib-Tickling Eternal Pairings”; and “Die Laughing: Monuments to Utterly Unfortunate Names”. Readers will get even more laughs from the irreverent captions and illustrations.

This book is perfect for the morbidly inclined, taphophiles, goths, or those that like to poke a little fun at Death. I also think it’s a perfect book to purchase for Halloween! Grave Humor’s bold, eye-catching design will certainly make for a conversation starter among guests…just make sure they don’t die of laughter!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues edited by Loren Rhoads

You might recognize the name Morbid Curiosity, as it was a nonfiction magazine from 1997 to 2006 that has quite a cult following. Though the magazine has been defunct for some years now, its popularity has never really waned…and because of that editor Loren Rhoads compiled some of the best true stories featured in the magazine’s pages and put them in this delightfully dark book!

True Stories of the Unsavory, Unwise, Unorthodox, and Unusual…with that description on the front cover titillating me, I couldn’t wait to explore Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues as soon as I received it. In fact, it wasn’t relegated to my tottering stack of books needing review, but immediately was set by my favorite reading spot. My fingers were itching all day to pick up the book, and when I was finally able I flipped through the pages with gusto!

Here’s the synopsis from the back of the book:

For ten years, Morbid Curiosity was a one-of-a-kind underground magazine that gained a devoted following for its celebration of absurd, grotesque, and unusual tales – all true – submitted from contributors around the country and across the world. Loren Rhoads, creator and editor of the magazine, has compiled some of her favorite stories from all ten issues in this sometimes shocking, occasionally gruesome, always fascinating anthology.

This quirky book is filled with tales from ordinary people – who just happen to have eccentric, peculiar interests. Ranging from the outrageous (attending a Black Mass, fishing bodies out of San Francisco Bay, making fake snuff films) to the more “mundane” (visiting a torture museum, tracking real vampires through San Francisco), this curiously enjoyable collection of stories, complete with illustrations and informative asides, will entertain and haunt readers long after the final page is turned.

I don’t know what draws me to the morbid, the unusual, the weird or the downright offensive. I like to think it is mere curiosity, but I’m sure there’s also a darker nature at work here. The same dark nature that we all share, in varying degrees, that causes us to slow down when passing a horrible car accident.

The experience of reading Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues is also like rubbernecking; you know you shouldn’t be so interested, but you can’t help staring (or in this case, reading). You get sucked into the whole peculiar experience, whether it’s reading about loss of innocence, weird customs, grave-robbing, surviving a bomb explosion, hanging out with sanguinarians, necrophilia, assisted suicide, etc. It’s a very voyeuristic experience as you are given a glimpse into ordinary people’s lives that take an extraordinary turn.

The novel is nicely balanced in tone – the stories range from scary (“Lock it Behind You,” “This Is a Very Old Scar”), heartbreaking (“Killing Max”, “A Night in the House of Dr. Moreau), depressing (“Souvenir of Hell”), gross (“DIY Urology”) and shocking (“Holiday in Genoa”), but all are fascinating. My personal favorite stories included “The Keeper of the Shop” by Jill Tracy, a bittersweet tale about the mysteries of life; “Going into Tombs” by Hugues Leblanc about exploring and photographing the interiors of old mausoleums; “Feed” by Katrina James, about vampires in San Francisco; “Halloween Hell” by Mary Ann Stein, about managing a Halloween super-store; and “Blood Gags” by Frank Burch, about making fake snuff films.

Morbid Curiosity Cures the Blues is a collection of the strange, the shocking and the sinister, but at the same time the stories are all so personal that they are also heartfelt and heartwrenching. These stories go beyond mere voyeurism, as through them you take a journey with the authors themselves to some very dark places. Like the authors, you won’t emerge unscathed, but perhaps you’ll have a deeper understanding of the dark side of the human psyche, including your own.

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Vampires Don't Sleep Alone by Elizabeth Barrial and D.H. Altair

How would you like to snag your very own Eric, your very own Bill, or maybe your very own Edward (though BARF on that last choice!)? The cleverly cute Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone: Your Guide to Meeting, Dating and Seducing a Vampire can be your guide to unlocking the secrets to being lucky in love with your very own immortal.

From the back cover:

Passionate and dangerous, the vampire is the ultimate lover. Stalking his prey in the dark of night, he is not easily tamed. But armed with the right skills for seducing a sexy immortal, you can meet, date and ultimately sleep with the vampire of your dreams. Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone provides the vital information you need to take a walk on the dark side and delve into the pulse-pounding world of vampire love and lust!

Let me tell you, if I could have an opportunity to seduce Eric from True Blood…::swoon::…I’d do it in a second! And with the helpful hints from Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone at least now I’d be prepared!

Written like a self-help dating book that assumes vampires are real, it is a very enjoyable, funny and sexy book that covers many different aspects. You can definitely tell the authors have done their homework! First, it gives you an introduction to vampires and basic info on different types (“Nosferatu, Lord Ruthven, or Carmilla: What Sort of Vamp are You Looking For”), their complicated relationships with their makers and addresses the large age difference between most vamps and their human companions (“VILFs: He’s 700 Years Old, and So Are His Hang-ups”). It then moves onto a section on the etiquette of dating a vampire, including chapters on what to wear for your vamp, “The Lucy Westernra Predicament: What to Do if He’s Turning Your Friends”, “The Van Helsing Issue: What to Do When Your Friends Dissaprove” and how to address the issue of his past. The third and final section of the book delves into the romancing and bedding a vampire. It covers subjects like “Shapeshifting: A Form of Roleplay” and “Is Feeding Cheating?”, among other things.

Authors Elizabeth Barrial (co-owner of Black Alchemy Lab) and D.H. Altair (the nom de plume of author and Dark Delicacies proprietor Del Howison) have crafted an amusing and enjoyable read. I especially appreciated the fact that it avoided lovey-dovey Twatlight-like romance. Instead of glittery, emo vampires, Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone emphasized the danger and unpredictability of vampire lovers. Which, hello, is what makes vampires so attractive in the first place!

Darkly witty and seriously sensual, Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone is the perfect book for all vampire fans!

Buy it on Amazon!

Mirror Mirror (1990)

Mirror Mirror is pretty unknown to most horror fans, but it’s a pretty decent flick nonetheless and boasts stars like Karen Black and Yvonne De Carlo among its cast! I had heard that it was along the lines of Carrie and The Fury, so I decided to give it a try, especially since the lead character is considered a “goth” (I did a piece on goths in horror films over at my personal blog if you feel like taking a look).

Mirror Mirror tells the tale of gothy Megan (Rainbow Harvest), who moves from L.A. to a small town with her mom (Karen Black) after her father’s death. Megan finds an old mirror in her room and insists on keeping it, even though it’s a creepy old thing. She then starts school but runs into the usual gaggle of cheerleaders and jocks who don’t appreciate her funerary attire. She makes friends with good girl Nikki, but the popular kids still make Megan’s life a living hell. Soon, Megan discovers that the mirror gives her powers and she can make things happen to those that ridicule her. Pretty soon her enemies are dying left and right and the mirror’s powers become too powerful for Megan to control. Can Nikki save Megan from the dark side and whatever lives on the other side of the mirror?

Mirror Mirror might share some similarities with Carrie (shy outsider, weird mom, psychic powers, a friend who tries to save the lead, etc.), but it stands on its own quite well. I really enjoyed all the characters and the story; they still felt unique even though they were obviously influenced by other films. Megan was a fun character, though I initially thought she would have more backbone and actually stand up to the annoying popular kids rather than running away and hiding from them. Gotta love her goth look, which looks heavily influenced by Beetlejuice’s Lydia (it doesn’t help that Rainbow Harvest looks a lot like Winona Ryder). I also loved the over-the-top performance by Karen Black as Megan’s unstable mother (good god, that pastel pink lipstick has GOT to go!) and seeing Yvonne De Carlo as an estate dealer who tries to help Megan once she learns the truth of the evil mirror.

Plus, there is quite a high body count, and while the deaths aren’t necessarily gory or bloody, most of them are still pretty neat. Standouts include the shower scalding scene and a garbage disposal death! There are several bloody scenes, including a gushing nose bleed scene and the mirror itself, which regularly oozes blood.

Director Marina Sargenti uses an interesting blue palette for most of the film and sets up varying POV shots that keep the viewer engaged. I especially liked the POV shots of the demon behind the mirror looking out at all those that approached it. The screenplay, written by Annette Cascone and Gina Cascone, also deserves props, especially for its twist ending!

Mirror Mirror is an interesting flick that deserves to be seen by more people. It certainly wears its influences on its sleeve, but it still manages to be intriguing in its own special way. If you are looking for an early ’90s gem, check out Mirror Mirror!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Oddities of West Blankshire by Dan Holst Soelberg

When I received Dan Holst Soelberg’s illustrated book, Odditites of West Blankshire: A Book of Odens Grebal, it immediately put a huge smile on my face. You see, the book contains short, witty and often morbidly funny two-line poems accompanied by beautiful black and white illustrations. For an Edward Gorey/Charles Addams fan such as myself, Oddities and its Victorian characters coupled with its dark humor was exactly my cup of tea!

However, I’ve had this book sitting on my desk for quite some time, so I must apologize to author Soelberg as well as to you, dear readers. It’s a shame I waited so long to review this absolutely enjoyable collection that depicts the eerily odd children of West Blankshire (hence the title). Now that I’ve taken the time to review the book, it shall still remain on my desk because I just love looking at it every once in a while, especially when I need a good giggle!

If I had a home big enough, I would frame every single page in the book and display them! The artwork is that spectacular and unique! I love the Victorian characters and how they are often paired with such unexpected and morbid fates.

Here is a little taste of one of the poems (for full effect it’s best viewed with Soelberg’s illustration):

Consumed by his unceasing feline perversion
Van surgically fused himself with his Persian

If you are a fan of dark humor and memorably strange characters, do yourself a favor and check out Dan Holst Soelberg’s astounding and amazing Oddities of West Blankshire!

The book is a limited edition, so hurry to get your copy today!!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: A Boy Born from Mold and Other Delectable Morsels by Lorin Morgan-Richards

Following his unique first book, Simon Snootle and Other Small Stories (which I absolutely adored), author Lorin Morgan-Richards has released another delightfully delectable collection of illustrated short stories in A Boy Born From Mold. In this, the author’s second pocket-sized, handmade and handbound book, he returns with quirky stories of fantastical characters, from the titular boy born from mold named Ruin (or Rune proper) to a young vampire named Zoog whose parents are distressed at his distaste for blood. The small tome boasts seven new tales, each a delight to read!

Just like the first book from Morgan-Richards, A Boy Born From Mold boasts a very high quality with the handmade craftsmanship. This book’s longevity is ensured with the high quality of its faux leather, black ribbon and acid-free blue linen paper used. Only 400 copies of the book were handmade by the author, so these are definitely a collector’s item!

A Boy Born From Mold and Other Delectable Morsels from Lorin Morgan-Richards is a fun collection of stories for those with darker sensibilities. Fans of Edward Gorey and Tim Burton are sure to fall hopelessly in love with Morgan-Richards’ unusual characters and their disturbing situations. Plus, it’s the perfect size to fit in your pocket so you can take it with you during your daily stroll through the cemetery!

Available from Amazon!

Visit Lorin Morgan-Richards’ Official Site!

Screamplay (1985)

Screamplay has got to be one of the most unique films I’ve ever seen. It is filmed like a washed-out, grainy black and white movie from the silent era mixed with sparse, geometric set design of German Expressionism and all pulled together by a murder mystery. I’m surprised more people don’t know about this film because it’s a very creative and mesmerizing effort from filmmaker (he co-wrote, directed, edited, did the visual effects, etc. for the whole film) and actor (he also plays the lead!) Rufus Butler Seder.

It has been released by Troma, the only studio that would pick up the film (originally, New Line expressed interest but pulled out when the film received a bad review from the Boston Film Festival). However, it is definitely not a “typical” Troma blood and boobs B-movie and I don’t think it was fairly marketed back during its release. So since then, the film has pretty much languished in obscurity…

I happened to chance upon it while browsing through Netflix and decided to give it a shot. The premise sounded pretty interesting:

“Aspiring screenwriter Edgar Allen (Rufus B. Seder) works as a janitor for room and board at the Welcome Apartments, a run-down building filled with freaky characters and bizarre plot twists that wriggle their way into Edgar’s horror movie script. Reality blurs with Edgar’s vivid imagination, driving him into a state of creative madness.”

So, I decided to give the film a whirl and had no idea how intriguing it would turn out to be…however, within the first few moments of seeing the simple sets and stark black and white film I was hooked. Screamplay has its faults and isn’t the best film out there, but its artistic merit more than makes up for its few problems.

Let me just say that I love the story (ok, that’s not a problem, but give me a minute…), written by Ed Greenberg and Seder! Basically, the writer’s creations on the page on coming to life and all the murders look like he perpetrated them. Great premise, right? Right. However, the interactions between characters feel a bit stilted and the dialogue doesn’t really grab you, causing the pace to drag at times. Even Seder admitted his film was “kinda boring” and that “When it gets to the point where the actors are acting, just sitting talking in a room, the scene pretty much goes dead” (from an excellent Movieline article on the film).

However, the film does have some very memorable lines (“You f*cked Karloff?!”), kooky, well-written characters and a storyline that speaks to every struggling creative talent in Hollyweird. In fact, anyone who has ever had any experience with the fickle entertainment industry can appreciate the many clever jabs the film makes at the expense of “the industry”.

The film’s biggest draw besides its fun storyline is its aesthetic. Filmed in washed-out black and white, with the appropriate scratches added to make it look even more vintage, the film reminded me of silent classics like Nosferatu or The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. In fact, the sparse, simple and inexpensive (they used Plexiglas to mimic a pool) sets, with their sharp corners and minimalist decoration, tended to echo German Expressionist films like Caligari. In short, the visuals of the film were entirely mesmerizing and Seder did an astounding job with the art direction (yup, another task he took on!).

Further cementing the comparison to silent films were the melodramatic performances from the oddball characters that included a sleazy landlord (played by underground film legend George Kuchar), an aging but lustful actress, a starlet, a prophetic ex-rock star and a couple of noir-like gumshoes tracking down the killer. I especially liked Seder’s performance of the manic screenwriter, who looks like he would fit perfectly with any of the silent film stars with his over-exaggerated facial expressions!

Though Screamplay won’t be a film everyone will enjoy, those that appreciate a good surrealist slasher with silent film-like aesthetics will no doubt fall in love with the underrated and little-know Screamplay. Go check it out!

Available on Amazon!

Maniacts (2001)

What an odd little film! I’d never really heard of Maniacts before, but happened upon it while browsing Netflix. Starring genre regular Jeff Fahey and recognizable actress Kellie Waymire, Maniacts is a weird mix of drama, romance, comedy and horror. It certainly doesn’t always work because of its slow pace and lackluster atmosphere, but it is undeniably original.

It tells the tale of “Blueblood” serial killer Joseph (Jeff Fahey) who is sent to a mental hospital after he is caught and convicted of murdering six people. There he meets the quirky Beth (Kellie Waymire) and the two fall in love. Joe escapes, but returns to the institution to rescue Beth. The two try to leave their murderous pasts behind them and lead a normal life on a farm, but find “normal” life can be just as crazy.

The strongest part of the film is the acting from both Fahey and Waymire. Though their characters are psychotic murderers, you still come to like them both. Despite the film’s slow pacing, they are the ones that keep you watching.

Speaking of, the film’s pacing if probably its biggest flaw. It starts off very slow and the action never really takes off. There are a few scenes of bloodshed (including a nice impalement and a memorable death by water hose), but I wouldn’t really call the film “horror”. It feels like more of a mix of Natural Born Killers and One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. The tone is also uneven and vacillates between B-movie comedy and melodramatic romance.

The atmosphere also feels off and lacking, making the whole film fall flat. While the film is unique, I wish it had a bit more bite and edge. It is pretty dialogue heavy, but I wish it had spent more time developing the characters instead of the lame dialogue (except for the AWESOME line, “Welcome. I will now demonstrate the payback-is-a-bitch procedure”) it featured.

Maniacts is no doubt like nothing you’ve seen, but its slow pace and lack of atmosphere really hamper its original storyline. Check it out if you are a fan of Jeff Fahey or weird, little-seen flicks, but personally this film didn’t really do it for me.

Available from Amazon!

Silver Bullet (1985)

Ah, the nostalgia that a Stephen King work brings to me…his stories remind me of being in elementary school and devouring his novels. Of course, it also helped that I could identify with many of his characters, who were usually around my age in the books. I remember reading IT and then enjoying the movie on VHS (remember how it came with two VHS tapes since its 3 hour length couldn’t all fit on one?). Even though I didn’t really dig the ending of the film I loved the story and at the time was obsessed with actor Jonathan Brandis, so I pretty much wore out those VHS tapes. I enjoyed many of King’s other books and subsequent adaptations, but one (short) story I never read was Cycle of the Werewolf, which Silver Bullet is based on.

Silver Bullet is about young, wheelchair-bound Marty (Corey Haim) who lives in a small town with his family, including mom, dad, older sister and crazy Uncle Red (Gary Busey). He spends his days tormenting his older sister, hanging out with his best friend and best girl and tooling around in a tricked out wheelchair, courtesy of Uncle Red.

That is, until one day in May when the moon is full and the killings start. Townsfolk are being ripped to shreds but no one has any idea who (or what) the killer is. Every month when the moon is full the killings start again…

When the killer murders Marty’s best pal, drives his best girl and her family out of town and causes the town to cancel some firework festivities, he decides to take matters into his own hands…especially once he discovers exactly who and what the killer is. After convincing his older sister and Uncle Red, the three of them make one final stand against the monster on Halloween night.

Silver Bullet is a pretty decent Stephen King adaptation and a good werewolf film to boot! I really enjoyed how the main character was a kid and how this gave the film a sweet, nostalgic feel. The film may be rated R (there is lots of cussing and some gore), but I think it’s pretty kid-friendly and Marty is an extremely likable character you can root for all the way through. If you’re a kid you will have no problem relating to Marty and all the adventures he has (disabled or not) and if you’re an adult you’ll blissfully remember those carefree days as a kid (minus the werewolf…at least I hope so).

Corey Haim as Marty is the absolute star of the film and does a fantastic job in his role. His talent definitely shines through in this film and really makes you realize what a great actor we lost. Gary Busey is his usual scenery-chewing self in the film, but his boisterous Uncle Red gives the film a pleasant manic edge. And he’s got some of the most hilarious lines in the film (“Holy jumped-up bald-headed Jesus palomino!”). 

The film does have a few instances of bloodshed (victims getting diced and sliced, some ocular horror, etc.) but gore is not the focus of the film, so don’t go in expecting too much (it’s kid-friendly horror, remember?). However, I did like the impressive werewolf transformation scenes, especially one set in the church. Sure, some of the prosthetics look a little rubbery or fake, but at least all practical effects are used…and I was expecting much less out of the film!

Silver Bullet is a fun and entertaining werewolf film that is definitely worth viewing. Haim and Busey’s performances give the film bite, but it’s also King’s nostalgic tone and the practical effects that make this underrated flick a must-see for all Stephen King and horror fans.

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Blades (1989)

How did this little Troma movie pass under my radar for so many years? I mean, killer lawnmowers tend to attract attention but I don’t recall ever hearing about Blades, which, while it sounds like an ice skating movie is actually about a killer machine mowing down golfers at the Tall Grass Country Club.

When I stumbled upon this movie in my Netflix “watch instantly” queue, I just couldn’t pass it up! How could I resist a movie whose tagline is: “Golf – A Game of Hooks, Slices and … Slaughter”? Well, I couldn’t resist and settled in to watch this wacky and entertaining B-movie.

A series of gruesome murders is taking place at the prestigious Tall Grass Country Club. Golfers are being dismembered left and right, but with a live televised golf tournament coming up the owner refuses to shut the place down. Resident golf pros Roy (Robert North) and Kelly (Victoria Scott) set out to stop the murders, but are shocked to find that the culprit is an evil lawnmower out for blood. Can the pair of golf pros stop the killer machine before it mows down anymore unsuspecting golfers?

Blades is certainly not the perfect B-movie; for a Troma film it feels pretty restrained and lacks the outrageousness of most of their films. It also tends to drag in some places and the finale feels a bit stretched out. For a satire/parody it doesn’t quite go far enough and the laughs are far and in between (though I really liked the special ops caddies). However, I found myself enjoying the zany film, with its crazy ‘80s country club attire (think Lacoste polos, pastel- or neon-colored visors and high-waisted jeans…oh wait, I guess golf fashion really hasn’t changed!), random humor and its flesh-hungry killer machine (that looked more of like a combine rather than a lawnmower).

Even the two leads didn’t bug me (though they were a little bland) and Robert North and Victoria Scott did a good job in their roles as the resident golf pros Roy and Kelly. The rest of the cast was pretty hammy (intentionally, as this is supposed to be a parody of slasher flicks) and served their roles well (I especially liked William Towner as the country club owner Norman Osgood – “It’s on TV!!”).

Blades even has a sort of Caddyshack-like feel to some of their humorous scenes, and I half expected Bill Murray to pop up to defend his golf course against the ravages of a rogue lawnmower. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “Caddyshack for horror lovers”, as I’m sure some reviewers have, but with the golf course setting and its zany humor it’s hard not to make the comparison. In reality, director Thomas R. Rondinella intended it to be a Jaws spoof, replacing the ocean with a golf course and the shark with a lawnmower. Yes, it’s pretty silly but it is also pretty entertaining as well! I especially liked the POV shots of the lawnmower stalking its victims through the grass and the fact that the leads got trapped on a broken-down van down by the river in the middle of the course by the lawnmower just like the people were trapped on a sinking boat at the end of Jaws.

Still, I felt the comedy in Blades was a little too restrained. With that you’d think they’d amp up the splatter, but besides a few shredded legs and various bloody body parts strewn about the golf course there’s hardly any gore in the film. Even a scene where a young caddy gets “eaten” and large sprays of blood arc out of the woods doesn’t satisfy because the blood looks so fake.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance on a film, and while Blades certainly isn’t a Tromasterpiece it still managed to entertain me. If you like your films a little bit silly and can appreciate the humor in a bunch of golfers running for their lives from a killer lawnmower, do yourself a favor and check out Blades.

Available (only on VHS) from Amazon!

Book Review: The Loving Dead by Amelia Beamer

Every month I wade through a glut of zombie novels, some of them good, some so-so and some downright awful. From my towering books-to-review stack I recently chose Amelia Beamer’s The Loving Dead to check out. It sounded intriguing enough as a group of regular twentysomethings find themselves at the epicenter of a sexual transmitted zombie virus in San Francisco.

From the back cover:

Kate and Michael, twenty-something housemates working at the same Trader Joe’s supermarket, are thoroughly screwed when people start turning into zombies at their house party in the Oakland hills. The zombie plague is a sexually transmitted disease, turning its victims into shambling, horny, voracious killers after an incubation period where they become increasingly promiscuous. Thrust into extremes by the unfolding tragedy, Kate and Michael are forced to confront the decisions they’ve made, and their fears of commitment, while trying to say alive. Michael convinces Kate to meet him in the one place in the Bay Area that’s likely to be safe and secure from the zombie hordes: Alcatraz. But can they stay human long enough?

It took me a while to get into The Loving Dead, I think perhaps because of the first-person perspective that kept switching between Kate and Michael. However, about 50 pages in I fell into the flow of the novel and started to enjoy it. If you are from California, you will definitely enjoy the references to Trader Joe’s (I love this grocery store!) and readers familiar with the Bay Area will appreciate all the landmarks mentioned in the novel (The Coliseum, Alcatraz, Golden Gate, etc.). These details definitely added to my enjoyment of the book. However, just because you aren’t from California doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate The Loving Dead. Besides its witty and plentiful pop culture references (iPhone apps, Twitter, BoingBoing, Indiana Jones, blogs), it’s got sex, violence, romance, zombies and plenty of nail-biting action! Plus, it has an amazing conclusion that I definitely didn’t see coming.

Most importantly, though, it does something different with zombies. Making the zombie virus sexually transmitted was a brilliant move on Beamer’s part and really makes the novel stand apart from every other zombie book out there. This is a great social commentary on today’s generation – hordes of slobbering, horny twentysomethings not giving a damn about consequences for their sexual actions. Not to mention that we get to read about sleazy zombies who want to hump you just as bad as they want to eat you.

The Loving Dead is Amelia Beamer’s debut novel and I’m excited to report that this is one of the “good” zombie novels I’ve read this past month. Despite a shaky opening I found myself thoroughly enjoying the unique storyline and loving the new approach to the zombie virus.

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to cuddle up with a zombie, look no further than the kinky The Loving Dead. It’s a hip and twisted new zombie novel that’ll have you all tied up!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Let Me Die a Woman by Alan Kelly

Blending ‘50s pulp novel sensibilities with modern potty-mouthed wit and characters pulled from a John Waters film with a cybergoth twist, Let Me Die A Woman is a kick ass debut from Irish author Alan Kelly!

The novel opens with a rather innocuous scarecrow festival in a small town…or so it seems. Before long, the scarecrows set their button eyes on the inhabitants of the small town and massacre everyone in sight. The scarecrows, who are actually beings from another plane, have much more far-reaching plans than slaughtering a whole town, though…

Years later, horror journalist extraordinaire Bunny Flask is fired by the sleazy owner of her beloved Blood Rag Magazine and replaced by rival Alice Fiend. Seething with resentment and seeking revenge, Bunny decides to confront Alice but uncovers a horrific plot to destroy the human race in the process.

Let me Die A Woman is pulp fiction paradise! It is a gritty and gory tale of femme fatales, hellacious heroines, malevolent males and apocalyptic action that really rocked my socks off! It may be a short 109 pages, but every single one of those pages packs a wallop. It is extremely fast-paced, and once I picked it up I read the whole thing in one sitting because I didn’t want to put it down.

Given the skill of writing, it’s hard to imagine LMDAW is author Alan Kelly’s debut novel. His voice is one of a seasoned storyteller and he unfolds the violent and heated plot in such a way that holds you enraptured the entire length of the book. Kelly describes everything so vividly that the novel comes to life in your head and it feels like you are reading/watching an exploitation-style ‘50s B-movie, complete with monsters, aliens, gender-bending characters, chainsaws, strong women, outrageous dialogue and plenty of violence! In homage to exploitation/horror films of the past, Kelly even names several chapters after recognizable films, including Sorry, Wrong Number, Shivers, Female Trouble, Razor Blade Smile and Bad Girls Go to Hell, among others!

The characters are all a lively bunch, their colorful personalities taking cues from real-life horror queens like The Chainsaw Mafia founder Shannon Lark (an obvious inspiration for the chainsaw-wielding BFF of Bunny Flask) and Rue Morgue’s former editor, Jovanka Vuckovic (Alice Fiend’s vivid red hair being a reference to her). Kelly writes them all whip-smart, independent and hell-on-wheels.

Let Me Die A Woman is a no-holds-barred and over-the-top love letter to cult films in all their kitschy glory. With inspirations from grindhouse, exploitation, sci-fi and horror genres Kelly’s debut has a manic energy and originality that seems unrivaled within current genre offerings and comes highly recommended from yours truly.

Visit Pulp Press’ Official Site!

Every Other Day is Halloween (2010)

In C.W. Prather’s documentary Every Other Day is Halloween, viewers are taken on a nostalgic and whimsical trip back in time to the golden age of television horror hosts, a time when local TV’s witching hour was ruled by ghouls and boils introducing old black and white movies for a generation of delighted fans. Prather focuses on one of the most well-known and longest running horror hosts, Count Gore De Vol, played by Dick Dyszel, as we are given a glimpse into his wacky world.

Though Count Gore De Vol is a very recognizable horror host and still makes regular appearances at conventions and hosts his own online horror show, I wasn’t that familiar with the character’s creator, Dick Dyszel. This documentary does a wonderful job at connecting the audience to the kind man behind the well-known cape! From his beginnings as playing Bozo the Clown and Captain 20 for local kid’s shows on Channel 20 in Washington D.C., we see Dyszel’s growth and desire to do something for the adults – hence Count Gore De Vol’s first show in 1973!

We are shown lots of vintage footage of Dyszel as his different characters, with the focus of course on the Count. We also see interviews with people Dyszel’s show, Creature Feature, influenced, including writers like Steve Niles (30 Days of Night), filmmakers such as Jeff Krulik (Heavy Metal Parking Lot), Scream Queens Leanna Chamish (Stakes) and Eleanor Herman (Night Beast) as well as a new generation of horror hosts including John Dimes (“Dr. Sarcofiguy”) and Jerry Moore II (“Karlos Borloff”). There are also lots of nostalgic recollections from regular old horror fans who watched his show when they were kids as well as from the man himself, Dick Dyszel. In one touching segment Dyszel recalls having Forrest J. Ackerman on the show and we are treated to rare footage of the interview.

Much of the footage shown in this documentary is rare or has never been seen before, adding to the deeply nostalgic feel of the documentary. Though I was too young to recall Count Gore De Vol’s long-running TV show Creature Feature, I still deeply appreciate the era of horror hosts and especially pioneers such as Dick Dyszel. When horror hosts seemed a thing of the past in the early ‘90s, Dyszel resurrected Count Gore De Vol and decided to host his show on the Internet (and this was back when people were still on dial-up). He is considered the first ever Internet horror host!

Nowadays, we are seeing a resurgence of horror hosts, many who claim Dyszel and his Count Gore De Vol character were huge influences on them. Many of these modern horror hosts are interviewed, including Penny Dreadful, The Bone Jangler, Karlos Borloff and more! It’s amazing to see what a gigantic impact horror hosts like Dyszel made on today’s performers and it’s pretty heartwarming to see such a great guy like Dyszel still getting adoration from fans!

Hard-working horror hosts like Dyszel basically reared a generation of horror fans and influenced a whole new breed of horror hosts to go on and inspire another generation of horror fans. Since many horror fans have horror hosts to thank for introducing them to the genre, it’s quite a treat to watch this documentary and get a behind-the-scenes peek at Dick Dyszel’s long (and still going strong) career as Count Gore De Vol!

If you are looking for a superb documentary that takes you down memory lane, check out Every Other Day is Halloween. It’s a fascinating and fun look at horror host Dick Dyszel’s life and will make you nostalgic for the golden years of horror hosts as well as make you excited for the horror hosts in years to come!

Available from Amazon!