Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Despite being sick on The Cabin in the Woods’ opening night, I still bundled up and trooped out to the theater because there was no way I was missing catching this flick on Friday the 13th! It has been one of my most anticipated movies of 2012 as 1.) I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon and 2.) it actually looked like it would do something fresh and different with the horror genre.

There has been a lot of hype and build-up surrounding this film, and just today I saw tons of Twitter and Facebook updates proclaiming how "______" Cabin in the Woods was. I hate when flicks get spoiled by too much hype, so I tried to put myself on a social media lockdown for the day to avoid any spoilage.

I avoided any spoilers, made it to the theater and decided for myself just how "______" Cabin in the Woods was...

In the film, five college kids head to a remote cabin for some weekend relaxation, but soon find that things aren’t exactly what they appear. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

The best way to see this movie is with little or zero knowledge of it, so I'll keep this review short and to the point (and spoiler-free). The film is pretty much a horror fan's wet dream, as it cleverly plays with expectations, toys with horror clichés, tips its hat to many horror films AND adds something quite different and unexpected to the horror movie formula.

I laughed, I jumped, I rooted for both sides and completely reveled in the sharp writing by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (who directed as well). The Cabin in the Woods is one heck of an entertaining time from start to finish and left me with a big goofy grin on my face hours after I watched it. That's pretty much all you need to know, besides the fact that it has many different facets to its seemingly simple story.

If you’re a horror fan that enjoys smart, original and witty horror films, then I highly encourage you to check it out ASAP! It was totally worth avoiding the hoopla on Facebook and Twitter all day and sucking up a fever/sore throat to watch it opening weekend. Believe me, this is one film that actually lives up to the buzz surrounding it and is definitely one you don't want to miss!

Team Mer-Man! (You'll understand when you see the flick...now go see it!!)

Book Review: The First Days by Rhiannon Frater

Egads, I thought when I first started Rhiannon Frater’s novel The First Days, another zombie book?? I adore zombies as much as any of my fellow horror loving freaks, but it seems that every other horror fiction I pick up nowadays is zombie-themed. However, I was excited to check out Frater’s first “officially” published novel. Frater has built up a lot of buzz over the past few years by self-publishing her novels online; in fact, The First Days actually started as a serial and garnered quite a devoted following! I am always stoked to find new authors who offer up new visions of horror, and I was ecstatic to discover that The First Days wasn’t any old, run-of-the-mill zombie novel, but instead offered a fresh take on the popular genre.

The First Days starts with a bang…and the rending and tearing of flesh as one bright morning the dead start coming back to life and devouring the living. Two strangers, Katie and Jenni, must band together to escape the suburbs and the horror of their zombified families and flee to the Texan countryside. The horror doesn’t end there, as they must battle the hordes of fast-moving undead to seek safety and shelter with other survivors in a small fortified town.

The First Days offers zombie fans several new aspects to the genre. First, it is set in the wide-open landscape of the hot Texan countryside. The isolated location seems ideal for this apocalyptic tale and despite the sparsely populated towns dotting the landscape, there are plenty of zombies to overwhelm our heroines. Frater also re-tools the zombie characters a bit as well, giving us the frightful notion of fast-moving, highly aggressive (and sometimes cognizant and intelligent) zombies. While this certainly isn’t a new perspective, it’s still nice to see something slightly tweaked that makes for an all-the-more terrifying read.

The most unique aspect of the novel is that it features two female leads (yay!). They are flawed, have their moments of weakness and sometimes even act a little silly (like crushing on a guy during a zombie siege), but they are also strong women who will do anything to protect each other and when zombies (or people who’ve been bitten and therefore infected) need to be put down, they get the job done. I definitely appreciated seeing strong female characters who were developed so well and who I truly came to admire and cheer on. The rest of the characters were also well-developed, and I especially took a special shine to Juan, a cowboy and resident zombie expert who kept bemoaning the fact that the zombies were fast instead of slow like in Romero’s films.

The First Days is the first book in a trilogy that will be released by Tor Books. The second and third installments, Fighting to Survive and Siege, will follow quickly on the heels of First Days’ July 2011 release. However, they cannot be released quickly enough for me, as I am eagerly anticipating Frater’s next two books in the series!

Available on Amazon!

Black Death (2011)

According to Wikipedia, the Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history and is estimated to have killed 30% – 60% of Europe’s population, reducing the world’s population from an estimated 450 million to between 350 and 375 million in 1400. This has been seen as having created a series of religious, social and economic upheavals which had profound effects on the course of European history. It took 150 years for Europe’s population to recover.

The death and pestilence spread by this deadly plague was of Biblical proportions, and it seems that the dark mark it left upon history would be the perfect material for a horror film. Lucky for us, Magnolia Pictures’ Black Death has risen to the occasion.

The year is 1348. Europe has fallen under the shadow of the Black Death. As the plague decimates all in its path, fear and superstition are rife. In this apocalyptic environment, the church is losing its grip on the people. There are rumors of a village, hidden in marshland that the plague cannot reach. There is even talk of a necromancer who leads the village and is able to bring the dead back to life.

Ulric (Sean Bean), a fearsome knight, is charged by the church to investigate these rumors. He enlists the guidance of a novice monk, Osmund  (Eddie Redmayne) to lead him and his band of mercenary soldiers to the marshland, but Osmund has other motives for leaving his monastery. Their journey to the village and events that unfold take them into the heart of darkness and to horrors that will put Osmund’s faith in himself and his love for God to the ultimate test.

Black Death is a gripping film dealing with issues of faith, temptation, redemption, salvation…all huge issues back in the Dark Ages and still relevant today. It has a bit of Wicker Man-feel, only because of the dark secret the blissful and untouched village hides. It also has a much more somber feel and isn’t a film to take lightly. I liked how the film subverted the usual Christian vs. Pagan dynamic and made the pagans vicious instead of their usual hippie-dippy selves.

Speaking of viciousness, the film also boasts some wicked medieval battle scenes, complete with swords, maces, axes and even an iron maiden, among other torture devices. Despite the bloodshed being far and in-between, I was surprised how bloody the film actually was, especially in contrast to the subdued tone of the film and stark beauty of the cinematography.

The film looks stunning, from the cobblestoned streets of medieval Europe to the dark woods the characters travel through to the sun-dabbled village they finally arrive at. The mostly cold and bleak visuals echo the overall ominous atmosphere of the film. The grand scope of the cinematography makes me wish I had seen Black Death in a theater, but even on the smaller screen its grandiose scope wasn’t lost.

I liked the storyline because it had an epic feel and because of the themes it explored. As mentioned previously, I liked how the Christian vs. Pagan dynamic was flipped, with the pagans persecuting the Christians instead of the other way around. I also liked how the film showed unwavering faith in the characters as they were faced with temptations and challenges. The film ends on a brutal, downbeat note that was definitely disturbing and shows how evil can corrupt even the most faithful.

The actors gave performances equally intense to the storyline and visuals. Sean Bean is especially good as the God-fearing Ulric, but I also liked Eddie Redmayne’s performance as the conflicted Osmund. In my opinion, though, Carice van Houten stole the show as the village’s necromancer Langiva.

Director Christopher Smith has crafted another unique film with Black Death and is definitively one of the most versatile directors of the horror genre. He gave us the spooky Creep, the darkly humorous Severance, the intense Triangle and now the bleak Black Death. His films are always engaging, entertaining and original, and Black Death is no exception.

Buy it on Amazon!

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

Two American girls are on a bicycle tour through remote Argentina, but decide to set out on their own for the last few days of their vacation. Stephanie (Amber Heard) is trying to get over a recent break-up while Ellie (Odette Yustman) is the more free-spirited, wild one. After the two have an argument, Stephanie leaves Ellie sunbathing alone by an isolated river. When Stephanie returns to reconcile with her friend, she finds Ellie missing. While searching for her friend and getting no help from the local police, Stephanie turns to a fellow American named Michael (Karl Urban) for help. However, it seems that even Michael has his own secrets that make Stephanie distrust him. With no one to trust, will Stephanie be able to find Ellie before this movie turns into another Turistas or Hostel? Hmmmm…I’m betting not…

I was ready and willing to give And Soon the Darkness a chance…I figured it might do something new and put a twist on the whole tourists-in-peril sub-genre. I was even willing to put up with the poor man’s versions of Megan Fox (Yustman) and Scarlett Johansson (Heard). The film started off okay…especially since it was actually filmed in Argentina and the vistas were pretty spectacular. However, the film didn’t offer anything unique in regards to its storyline, which really is a pity considering the beautiful location they had to work with. Instead it limps along the well-tread “torture porn” road with a bit of black market sex slavery thrown in for good measure. If I had wanted to see that I would have just re-watched the excellent Shuttle (watch it NOW if you haven’t seen it yet) instead of sitting through this bland “horror” film.

In fact “bland” is an apt word to describe And Soon the Darkness, as it applies to nearly everything in the film. Bland acting, bland writing, a bland storyline, bland torture…The only thing that wasn’t bland was the direction by Marcos Efron and the cinematography by Gabriel Beristain. Of course, the natural beauty of Argentina may have made capturing its loveliness easy! I would even go so far as to say that if the film was re-cut it could be used as a way to promote tourism for the country (providing they cut out all the kidnapping, unfriendly locals, crooked police and torture…which should be easy since the film doesn’t really boast many of these scenes).

If you’re looking for horror, though, you’ll be sadly disappointed with And Soon the Darkness. While it has some great touristy shots that look like they belong in National Geographic, the film’s storyline fails to evoke any real scares since its premise is something we’ve all seen before (and in better films). It tries for a slow burn but falters in that it never actually goes anywhere. By the time Stephanie figured out what was going on I was beyond caring anyway and I just had to throw my hands up in the air when the story went the clichéd way of so many other films. I was at the very least hoping for a bit of a twist at the end that would differentiate this film from its ilk, but no such luck.

What I do find interesting is that this film is actually a remake of a 1970’s film of the same name, something I did not find out until after viewing the 2010 version. Despite the remake’s failure, I’m just a little bit curious as to how the original compares and may seek it out. If it turns out to be a fantastic film, I may have to actually thank And Soon the Darkness for actually doing something for me besides showing me pretty pictures of Argentina. For now though, the only thing that And Soon the Darkness did was bore me to death…and make me want to visit rural Argentina, even though the film should have had the opposite effect in both instances.

Available on Amazon!

Brain Dead (2010)

Sometimes you just want to shut your brain off, grab a few beers and have a few laughs with some buddies…and that’s where a flick like Brain Dead comes in. I’ve been anticipating Brain Dead ever since I heard Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons) was attached. However, when I saw the trailer it looked pretty bad, so I put off watching it until now. Big mistake, because I actually had a great time with this low-budget flick!

A small meteor falls to Earth and lands smack dab in the middle of a fisherman’s head in Hicksville, USA. However, inside the meteor is an alien parasite, which looks a lot like a black slug, and it immediately takes over the fisherman’s body and goes in search of brains. The invasion has begun!

Nearby, a bunch of different people (two convicts on the run, two lost hikers, a televangelist and his sweet little follower, etc.) all converge on an abandoned cabin in a convenient plot twist (hey, most movies have ‘em). Their personalities clash, but soon they find themselves banding together to fight the alien/zombie-hybrid threat.

Before I get started with this review, you’ll note the alien slug isn’t anything new – we’ve seen it in films like Night of the Creeps and Slither. I noted this too as the film started, but really, it didn’t make a lick of difference because I still enjoyed the flick! Yes, the plot may be simple and it may have been done before, but it is all in the execution, which Tenney pulls off brilliantly.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled review…

If I had to pick one word to describe Brain Dead, it would be fun…or maybe bloody…or boobilicious…is bloodyboobiliciousfun a word? Well, it should be, because that’s exactly what Brain Dead is! It has over the top gore, tons of lady bumps for the fellas and plenty of rip-roaring lines (Character 1: “I’ve been shot!” Character 2: “Is it bad?” Character 2: “Have you ever been shot when it was good??”).

The characters, though plenty are disposable, are all pretty likable or at least interesting. I’m glad the film didn’t stick with the formula of horny teens in the woods, because the varied characters make things much more interesting. Plus, characters you assume would make it to the end actually become alien fodder, so you are kept on your toes! Thanks to writer Dale Gelineau for keeping things interesting!

The film also keeps its tongue firmly in cheek and doesn’t mind winking at the camera. The fun banter between characters and the over-the-top gore means the film never takes itself so seriously and neither should you!

Speaking of the gore, it is the star of the show. People are split in half, brains get ripped out, heads get blown off and the squirmy alien slugs get busy invading their hosts’ bodies. For a low-budget flick, the effects (with the exception of a few shoddy CGI shots) are pretty impressive.

Brain Dead is one heck of a fun movie. Don’t let the trailer fool you, for the actual film is an enjoyable way to unwind after a long day. Just grab some brews, grab some friends and get ready for plenty of boobs, blood and alien slime.

Available from Amazon!

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

Dark Night of the Scarecrow, a 1981 made-for-TV movie, has finally been released on DVD! This film has been called one of the best made-for-TV movies, so I set out to see how it has held up over the years. I was also excited to check it out since it takes place around Halloween!

The film is about harmless simpleton Bubba (played by the recognizable Larry Drake), whose closest friend is a young girl named Marylee (Tonya Crowe). Though Bubba is in his 30′s, he still has the mind of a child. Though he is perfectly harmless, a few local yokels, including mailman Otis Hazelrigg (Charles Durning), perceive him as a threat. When Marylee is attacked by a dog, the men assume Bubba harmed her and form a lynch mob to hunt him down. Bubba hides in a field dressed and trussed up like a scarecrow. The ignorant men find him anyway and shoot him. Soon after, they find out Bubba didn’t hurt Marylee but actually saved her life from the dog. They go to trial, but are acquitted of all murder charges when they plead self-defense.

Soon after, all four of the men see a scarecrow that looks eerily similar to the one Bubba was dressed up as when they killed him. At first, they believe that Bubba’s mother or the District Attorney or even Marylee is out to avenge Bubba’s death. But as they each begin suffering unfortunate “accidents”, they start to believe Bubba is back from the grave.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow is a very well-done film, especially considering since it was made for television! This release has been cleaned up and looks stunning – thanks VCI Entertainment! I really wasn’t expecting much going into this film, but I was really pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the “revenge” aspect of the film. No matter who was doing the avenging, whether it be the District Attorney, Bubba’s mama, Marylee or Bubba himself, it was just satisfying to see the four hateful men get what they deserved!

I suppose I was expecting a slasher-esque storyline with a killer scarecrow slicing its way through a small rural town, but thankfully Dark Night of the Scarecrow avoided this. Instead, it really focused on the unlikable, greedy and ignorant murderers. As mentioned above, it sure was nice to see them become paranoid, then scared, then eventually meet their end!

Since the film was made-for-TV (and aired on the CBS channel, no less!) there really isn’t any blood or gore to speak of. Those looking for a bloody slasher had better look elsewhere! However, it doesn’t need gore to be a good movie and therefore succeeds in other areas. For one, I loved the Southern Gothic feel of the film. The scarecrow costume was definitely creepy and the scenes where it is stalking the local yokels were appropriately tense. I also loved that it was set during Halloween. A few scenes are set at a Halloween party with revelers in costumes and the climax is set in a pumpkin patch, making this movie perfect to watch this time of year!

The story, written by J.D. Feigelson, was engaging and I was enthralled the whole way through. There wasn’t a minute where I was bored, despite the slightly slower pace of the film. In addition, the characters were well fleshed out (every single one of the actors did a fantastic job with their characters) and I liked the variety of characters Feigelson gave us. The direction was also well done by Frank De Felitta (best well-known for being the author of Audrey Rose) and never once did it feel like I was watching just a made-for-TV movie. Instead, the film had a very cinematic feel and no doubt could have been released in theaters and made a pretty penny!

Dark Night of the Scarecrow is a Southern-fried creep-fest that’s a fun treat this autumn! It is one of the few “killer scarecrow” movies I’ve seen that is actually GOOD and worth seeing more than once. This film will definitely become a Halloween staple in my house and I look forward to the tradition of watching it every fall.

Available on Amazon!

Hellgate (1989)

Hellgate has got to be one of the worst, all-over-the-place horror films I’ve ever seen! From the weird gags to groan-worthy jokes to the silly ghost/zombie/ghost town/magical crystals/revenge storylines that crisscross the mess of the movie, I was shaking my head is disbelief most of its running time. However, though there is no doubt this is a horribly bad movie, it still has a certain charm to it.

The film opens with a bunch of college kids on vacation who have rented a cabin in the woods. While they wait for their last friend to arrive, they tell scary stories, including the local tale of the Hellgate Hitchhiker. In the 1950s, a motorcycle gang kidnapped poodle skirt cutie Josie (apparently, poodle skirts use that rip-away technology that stripper clothes utilize!) and took her to the town of Hellgate. No one besides her dad tries to help her, which results in him killing her by accident. Years later, the father still grieves for his daughter but when a crystal is found that appears to reanimate the dead (and make turtles moo like cows or make the newly undead explode or liquefy passerby), he decides to bring back his precious daughter and get revenge on everyone. Josie now haunts Hellgate’s back roads and tries to lure unsuspecting strangers back to Hellgate, which has become a ghost town.

Meanwhile, it turns out the buddy of the college kids gets lost on the way to the cabin and is seduced by Josie (who strikes weird poses like she’s a newbie on American’s Next Top Model or something), but gets away right before her father zaps him with the crystal’s laser beam (I’m not making this up). He finally makes it to the cabin but convinces his friends to return to Hellgate in case Josie needs help. There they are greeted by the rest of the undead denizens of Hellgate…

This movie is flippin’ all over the place and from the first couple of scenes there is TONS to make fun of (Josie’s lame attempts at escape from the bikers, her black granny panties, the fact that no one helps when she is kidnapped, not even a guy with a big-ass shotgun (!), the silly scene where she is killed when a motorcycle crashes through a brick wall she just happened to be standing in front of – and this was only 5 minutes into the movie!!). The silliness only continues from there…some of it good (the banter between the college kids), some of it groan-inducing (ahem, the mooing turtle).

Despite its weird charm, the film still seems confused as to what it really is – sometimes it plays it straight, other times it plays it outrageous, and it tries to cram way too many sub-genres (ghosts, haunted towns, zombies, etc.) into its already silly story. For the most part it doesn’t work and I was rolling my eyes more than I was laughing or enjoying myself. However, this film is such a disaster I couldn’t look away! Its over-the-top nature (Zombie can-can dancers! Copious scenes of glass breaking in slow-mo! Tons of shots of Josie lying in bed pouting over the escaped college student while her nipple pokes through a huge wine stain on her dress! The crystal’s laser making things go all explody!) and straight-up weirdness kept me watching ‘til the bitter end.

Besides just laughing at the bizarre nature of the film, I will say that the zombie make-up, especially in the scene with the cars (these zombies can drive…but in this movie I guess anything is possible), is pretty kick ass. The scene itself, with the zombies starting to crowd around the college students, is one of the few well-done scenes in the film and really stands out against the rest of the trashiness of the rest of the movie.

If you are looking for a truly BAD movie to torture your friends and neighbors with that you can still laugh it, a good option may be Hellgate. At least you can have a few laughs in between the eye rolling and the exasperated sighs. However, under no circumstances would this ever be considered a GOOD movie! Thank god this was the last film for BOTH director William A. Levey and writer Michael O’Rourke!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Jenny's Dance by Bruce Kaplan

Jenny’s Dance was originally published in Australia in 1989, but after the small publisher went belly up the book went out of print. Twenty years later author Bruce Kaplan made a few small tweaks and decided to re-release the book himself in 2009.

Of course if you ask me, the book needs A LOT more editing despite its fascinating story…

After a traumatizing incident, journalist Michael Baird’s therapist recommends he take a nice long vacation. Michael heads to the sleepy resort town of Koala Bay, but it turns out things aren’t quite so quiet there. A violent series of murders is being covered up by the local authorities, murders which just might involve some young children with high I.Q.’s. Though Michael has been warned not to get involved or cause himself any undue stress, his journalistic instincts tell him otherwise and he is soon in the thick of it. Can Michael find out who or what is killing the residents of Koala Bay before either the authorities or the killer(s) kill him first?

Jenny’s Dance has an intriguing sci-fi/horror storyline, but unfortunately tends to get bogged down by sloppy grammatical and punctuation errors and slim character development.

First off, let’s get the obvious out of the way – apparently author Bruce Kaplan has never heard of punctuation or it doesn’t exist in Australia, because he uses it as little as possible. And by “as little as possible” I mean it is usually just used at the end of sentences, if you’re lucky. There are no quotation marks when dialogue is used, there are no apostrophes – neither to mark possession nor to mark the omission of letters (like “shouldn’t” for “should not”), there are no commas to mark pauses in sentences – pretty much the only punctuation that is used is the period at the end of sentences. I understand the creative omission of punctuation in something like poetry, but in a novel it’s kinda vital, doncha think? I had a hard time getting into the book (or taking it seriously) because of the heinous misuse (no use?) of punctuation. And the author even had a second time to fix all this nonsense since this was his second time releasing the book!!

Secondly, the characters all feel and act like stereotypical cardboard cut-outs (with about that much personality). The hero of the novel has a tragic past, but overcomes it to solve the case and win the girl…yada yada yada. There are the typical crooked cops and authorities, the “creepy” kids (who aren’t all that fleshed out and not so creepy) and the underdeveloped female characters. The female characters are probably the flimsiest, and exist in the book to only play mothers or love interests. Psh…I could go on a rant about this alone, but this book has so many other problems that I’ll refrain. Just know that all of the characters are stereotypical and aren’t that well fleshed out, making the reader not care that much about them. Also, things happen to the characters that just seem too convenient. Michael falls in love with a local school teacher awfully fast (their relationship seemed a bit forced and contrived) and he always happens to stumble upon bodies, among other things. At times, even the dialogue and interactions between people in the book seems off and a little stilted.

However, I will say that the storyline was intriguing and was the only thing that kept me reading. Despite the poor use of punctuation and the cardboard characters the idea behind the book was unique and interesting. I liked how Kaplan kept me guessing as to who or what was doing the killing and I especially liked entertaining the fact that it could be kids sucking the brains out of victims. I also thought the final explanation was satisfying and definitely not something you read every day. Though in the end there is a sci-fi twist, I still enjoyed the horror of the story (even though I had to sit through the horror of the formatting).

If you can stomach sacrificing proper punctuation, grammar and decent characters for a cool story,  you may want to check out Jenny’s Dance. The title doesn’t really do the book any favors, nor is it really relevant to the plot, but despite its flaws the actual story isn’t half bad. Just be prepared to slog through a messy manuscript to get to the gem of the story!

Available on Amazon!

TV Review: Happy Town "In this Home on Ice"

Last year network TV gave horror fans the thrilling and entertaining Harper’s Island (which I was shamelessly hooked on and still highly recommend checking out) and ever since then I’ve been keen to see if other networks would jump on this trend to make their own chilling horror-themed mini-series. Well, the waiting is over because starting on Wednesday, April 28^th, 2010 ABC will air Happy Town, a deliciously eerie series that (allegedly) echoes the classic Twin Peaks and promises to slake horror fans’ thirst for a substantially spooky series.

I recently got a sneak peek at the first episode of the eagerly anticipated series, which I’ve been looking forward to since early promos surfaced, and as far as I can tell from the intriguing first episode we are definitely in for a thrilling rollercoaster ride through Happy Town!

The first episode begins with a vicious murder by a masked killer before introducing us to a colorful cast of locals. Among them is young Henley (Lauren German), who has just moved to picturesque Haplin, Minnesota with hopes of opening her own candle shop. She soon befriends the mysterious Merritt Grieves (Sam Neill), who has also moved to Haplin, Minnesota (aka “Happy Town”) to open his movie memorabilia store. The people are friendly, the scenery is beautiful and the air smells like fresh-baked bread (thanks to the local bread factory), but the town can’t hide its secrets and soon dark truths about its past, including mysterious disappearances perpetrated by someone called the “Magic Man”, are being revealed.

I was really sucked in by the first episode and there are some seriously strange things afoot in Happy Town that I want to find out about! I want to find out the backstory on the Haplins, the namesakes of the town, and what happened to their little girl who vanished at the hands of the Magic Man. And there is something very sinister going on with Henley…if that is even her real name. And why is the third floor of the boarding house strictly off limits? What exactly does the film “The Blue Door” stand for and why is Merritt Grieves so obsessed with it? And who is Chloe and why does Sheriff Griffin Conroy (M.C. Gainey) keep speaking her name in a trance? And what is up with the symbol of the question mark with a halo over it?

Sooooo many questions…which is why I must see more!

Seriously, I didn’t know quite what to expect when going into the first episode of Happy Town, and while I hoped for the best I also had to prepare for the worse. Luckily, it seems that writers Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec and Scott Rosenberg as well as directors Gary Fleder and Darnell Martin have (so far) done a fantastic job with Happy Town and I am salivating for the next episode!

Catch the very first episode on ABC at 10 PM (9 PM Central) on Wednesday, April 28^th, 2010!

For more info, check out abc.com/happytown!

Frozen (2010)

I’ve never been a fan of the snow. In all my life I’ve probably been in it just a handful of times. I’ve never been skiing (unless you count that time when I was really young and my parents took me to the Swiss Alps), never been snowboarding and have no desire to do either. Though I live just a few hours from the mountains I’ve never been and have no plans to go. Snow is cold and wet, whereas I would much rather be warm and dry! I can appreciate the majestic snow-capped mountains, but always at a distance, thank you very much! This rant is brought to you by Adam Green’s Frozen, a film that furthers my belief that I should stay as far away from snow as possible!

Frozen is about friends Lynch (Shawn Ashmore) and Walker (Kevin Zegers) and Walker’s girlfriend Parker (Emma Bell) who head up to a ski resort one Sunday. Seeing as they don’t have enough money to pay full price for lift tickets, they bribe a ski lift operator to let them go up the mountain. They spend most of the day on the bunny slopes because it is Parker’s first time snowboarding, which irritates Lynch since the trip is traditionally bros only. As nightfall nears, the trio decides to go on one last decent run, even though the lifts are closing due to a blizzard coming in. The same lift operator grudgingly lets them go up one last time, but because of a miscommunication another lift operator shuts everything down while the trio is stuck halfway up the mountain. When they realize they have been left behind and no one is coming to rescue them, the three friends must go to tremendous lengths to survive the elements…because the resort won’t open back up for another five days.

This film must be given props solely for the fact that it was shot practically – meaning that this wasn’t shot on a studio set but was actually shot in freezing cold temperatures on an actual ski lift that was 50 feet in the air. If you have heard any of director/writer Adam Green’s terrifying tales of the production, you know that this in of itself was a horrifying ordeal! They shot through real blizzards, used real wolves and were really suspended five stories above the ground! For this, both cast and crew are to be applauded, especially since the film looks so great. Green used a cherry-picker type crane to get many amazing shots and luckily the film isn’t just one static shot of the actors in the lift. Instead, it moves around them and keeps things visually interesting.

Also, I know people are bitching about what they would do if stuck in a ski lift (“Dude, why don’t they just jump? It can’t be that high.” or “Why don’t they MacGuyver themselves out of the situation by sliding down the lift cable?”), but in actuality all of these possibilities are explored by the stranded friends and the results are pretty grim. Every little detail is explained so the story becomes very realistic…and therefore very scary. The film is incredibly tense, uncomfortable to watch and features several cringe-worthy scenes (which I won’t spoil here). The three kids are fighters, and do what they can to survive, but with limited options, plummeting temperatures and hungry wolves circling them, they can only do so much to stay alive.

Speaking of the characters, you really get to feel like you know them (perhaps a little too well) and can easily empathize with them. However, I will say that the female character of Parker came off a little too whiny for my liking. I would have liked to see her fight a little more and cry/scream a little less. Despite that, I felt the actors gave amazing performances (and it probably helped that they were actually freezing their asses off and experiencing a lot of what their characters were during the shoot). The bromance between Walker and Lynch was believable, and Walker and Parker were a cute couple. These weren’t the stupid stock characters you’d encounter in some horror films that you want to see die – they were ordinary, run-of-the-mill good kids who found themselves in a horrifying ordeal that you hoped they found a way out of. Unfortunately, they don’t all make it out alive…but the film definitely kept you on your toes guessing who will live and who doesn’t.

Besides Green’s simple-yet-effective story and well-rounded characters, I also enjoyed the humor he infused into the film. At the beginning of the film it is welcome, but he even employs it during some of the more tense scenes. Most of the time the humor worked, but other times it killed the tension and took you out of the moment. There were also some fun cameos throughout the movie – for example, one quick scene features Green himself and buddy Joe Lynch (director of Wrong Turn 2). Kane Hodder (who was stunt coordinator on the film) even makes an appearance as a snow truck driver and Green’s own fiancé, Rileah Vanderbilt, plays a potential love interest of Lynch. Horror fans will notice that even the characters are named after Green’s friends in the horror community. These are cute little perks that I and other horror fans definitely enjoyed!

However, after all that gushing about Frozen, I must admit it has its flaws and I didn’t enjoy it 100%. After the first half of the film, it started to drag a little bit and I wished the characters would start to actually DO something about their predicament rather than trade stories like they were Grandpa from The Simpsons. The film starts to drag a little bit and loses steam, not to mention a few implausible events that just didn’t ring true. After all the realism of the first half of the film, I was disappointed that I had to keep suspending my disbelief more and more as the film neared its end. This isn’t to say that it’s a bad film by any means, but just that towards the end it didn’t grab me as much as it should have.

I still left the theater chilled, though, and extremely grateful for the heater in my car! Frozen might not be perfect, but it was definitely realistic (for the most part) and to all the naysayers wagging their tongues about how such-and-such isn’t possible or so-and-so should have done this – well, I dare them to actually go see the film (or hey, better yet, climb into an actual ski lift during winter and get stuck up there themselves for a few days) before making such remarks. I, for one, know I’ll never again look at a ski lift without trepidation!

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Flicker (2009)

“When all hope is lost, there’s always a flicker.”

This is the basic premise behind the independent horror film, Flicker, for when there is the tiniest bit of hope there is a possibility of a way out from any horrific ordeal.

Of course, the film’s other tagline is “Keep your friends close and your enemy’s shovel”, which shows some of the dark humor that is injected into an otherwise depraved and hallucinagenic journey of survival against the odds.

Flicker is about a weekend camping trip to a small mountain town that goes horribly awry. Pretty (Katy Houska) and her boyfriend Jack (Babak Tafti) wake up in the middle of the night to discover that their friends are missing and have only left behind a bloodied tent. Their horrific journey leads them to discover maniacal cops, homicidal locals and an unforgiving landscape – all which stack the odds against their survival. Somehow, though, Pretty must find a way to cope with the terrifying elements surrounding her and figure out a way to escape the twisted situation.

Flicker is an extremely interesting indie film that stands apart from typical “survival horror” films because of several artistic and creative aspects its story is infused with. First off is the Grand Guignol way the film and Pretty’s mind are introduced. The opening scene features a demon-like announcer, called Pixie (played magnificently by Courtney Bell) on a stage. Her malevolent presence seems to inhabit Pretty’s mind and dreams and her exaggerated painted mouth, makeup and movements make her appear very threatening. Later in the film, Pretty dreams that Pixie is cutting her in half with a massive whirling saw on stage. These scenes give the film a much more whimsical, yet no less menacing, feel. These Lynchian touches really make Flicker stand head and shoulders above most indie horror flicks.

Also on the positive side are all the amazing performances given in Flicker. Kudos to director and writer Aaron Hendren for getting the actors to give it their all! Katy Houska is perfect as Pretty, who starts off as a normal girl but after her harrowing ordeal starts to fray at the edges until she triumphantly is reborn as an ass-kicking machine (and kudos for the actress for shaving her head for part of the role!)! Houska gives a very strong, commanding performance. As mentioned above, I adored Courtney Bell’s performance as the malicious Pixie. Also on the villain side, Kevin R. Elder gave a very eerie performance as the sadistic and sociopathic cop Buck. All of the members of the weirdo family that kidnapped and tortured people by putting them in an itty bitty wood box were phenomenal as well! In fact, there wasn’t one bad performance in the entire film, something a low budget film should be commended on! Plus, you can tell that the cast involved had a lot of fun making the film. There is an adorable lip synch reel that runs through the end credits with most of the cast bloodied up and singing along to the closing song – it’s hilarious and just makes you love the film even more!

For a low-budget film, Flicker looks pretty damn great. Hendren has a great directorial style that really pulls you into the story and his writing makes you care about the characters. The overall look of the film is very crisp, clean and professional and looks close to theatrical quality. There are some truly gorgeous shots of the forest, lake and surrounding countryside. I also loved the grain and color used and even the special FX look realistic and seamless.

My only complaint with the film is that it had a few pacing problems. I think it needed more padding and more going on in the middle, because things got repetitive with watching Pretty stumble through the woods. I also thought that the Pixie character should have been utilized a bit more towards the middle and end, because her character kind of just drops away with no explanation. I also thought the inclusion of another victim, Misty, was unnecessary and most of the action should have focused on Pretty, her boyfriend and their two friends instead of introducing other victims.

However, besides these few flaws I wholeheartedly enjoyed Flicker and loved its odd, hallucinogenic feel. I especially appreciated that filmmaker Aaron Hendren did something different with the whole “survival horror” subgenre and didn’t give us just another Texas Chainsaw Massacre retread. Flicker comes highly recommended!

For more info on Flicker, visit Egg Murders Productions Official Site!

Sauna (2008)

I’ve always loved period horror films, especially those that features rich history and superstitious folklore come to life. Period horror films are few and far between so, when I first heard about the Finnish film Sauna, set at the end of the 1500’s, I was excited to check it out. I will say the name threw me off a bit, which to me sounded more like a been-there, done-that J-horror than anything else. Yet, when I popped the DVD I was immediately taken in by the eerie atmosphere of Sauna as I let the film chill me to the bone.

Sauna is set in 1595 at the end of a war between Russian and Sweden. A new border between the nations is being mapped out in the far reaches of northern border by a group of Russian soldiers and two Swedish brothers, the hot-headed soldier Eerik (Ville Virtanen) and the more cerebral and sensitive Knut (Tommi Eronen).

One night, Eerik and Knut seek refuge in a local peasant’s home belonging to a father and daughter, but after discovering some religious iconography pointing to the father’s Russian loyalties, Eerik kills the father. Knut tries to protect the daughter from Eerik’s violence by locking her in a shed. As they rejoin the group of Russian soldiers and continue their trek across the dismally gray landscape, Knut begins to see the peasant girl following them. Eerik tells him to snap out of it and confesses he never let the girl out of the shed and left her to die.

As the eerie images of the peasant girl continue to haunt Knut, the group presses on until they come across a village in the middle of a misty swamp. The village is uncharted on the map, so the group decides to stay there to decide whether the village goes to the Russians or the Swedes. Yet, there is something very unsettling about the village and its inhabitants. The weirdness seems to stem from the half-submerged sauna that sits apart from the village. In folklore, saunas are supposed to cleanse you of your sins, but this particular sauna seems to force people to face their sins.

Sauna is a very deliberately paced and cerebral film that asks more questions than it answers. If you are looking for a ghost story filled with jump scares, look elsewhere, because Sauna is a much more of a thinking person’s horror film with many layers and subtexts. It raises many questions about guilt and redemption, salvation and repentance and at what cost can sins be cleansed. While these philosophical questions (and many more) are raised, the film never really seeks to answer them and instead leaves them up to the viewer to decide. The film is very ambiguous and it’s left open for interpretation by the viewer. Personally, I enjoyed the open-endedness of coming to your own conclusions that director Antti-Jussi Annila and writer Iiro Küttner offered the audience and how the consequences that the characters suffered really got you thinking.

I also loved the heavy, ominous atmosphere that Sauna offered. Throughout the entire film there is a palatable uneasiness that creeps up on you. Through the bleak cinematography (lots of gray skies, leafless trees, muddied water, dead grasses, etc.) and several eerie events like the appearance of the peasant girl to Knut as well as several dead villagers that scratched out their own eyes (reminding me of the Bible passage in Matthew 18:9 – “And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.”) and the stark and sinister sauna itself, the film builds tension and unsettles the viewer.

It is this eerie atmosphere where Sauna succeeds the most. Some horror fans might not appreciate its deliberate pacing, but I thought the slowly building suspense was well worth it! And the film’s final frightening images sent shockwaves through my system! Director Antti-Jussi Annila and writer Iiro Küttner, along with the amazing cast, have truly delivered an artistic, emotional and grim horror film, and while it is not for everyone, those who appreciate more cerebral horror films will no doubt enjoy Sauna.

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The Thaw (2009)

The threat of global warming is an issue few are ignorant on, but which many still seem to ignore. The melting ice caps, changes in climate and extinction of species definitely point to a troubling future, but it seems that few have done anything to cut back on their environmental impact on the Earth (don’t worry, I’m not going to start preaching at you).

Now, whether you believe in global warming or not, it still falls to logic that all our pollution from various industries must be affecting the environment in some way, or, at the very least, that natural resources are becoming more and more limited as more and more people inhabit our world. You can’t really argue that this doesn’t pose a strain on our environment, but still many of us (including me) have a tendency to turn a blind eye to the destruction of our planet.

Throughout history there have been instances where disease, natural disasters and other catastrophes happen that result in a large percentage of the human population being thinned. Do you ever wonder what the next chaotic event will be? Do you ever wonder if Mother Nature will finally do something to protect herself and lash out at the human population? Well, The Thaw poses that frightening question and answers it with a pretty scary conclusion.

A renowned eco-scientist, Dr. David Kruipen (Val Kilmer) is in remote northern Canada researching the effects of global warming. He and his team uncover the preserved remains of a woolly mammoth, but soon discover that the mammoth is also harboring a deadly 20,000 year-old parasite that quickly infects them.

Meanwhile, a group of three students and Kruipen’s daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac, from The Last House on the Left remake) are on their way up to the research facility. When they arrive via helicopter, they discover the research facility deserted…except for a decaying corpse of a polar bear.

They soon discover that the nasty little parasites are inside the polar bear and lay eggs inside of their victims. Sure enough, they start getting bitten by the parasites, but that’s not all. After the bugs lay eggs inside their hosts, they eat their way from the inside out. The group must find a way to stop the bug’s spread, before they are unleashed upon the world.

The Thaw is a realistic horror film that seems especially relevant in these turbulent times. I like my horror films to be pertinent and socially conscious, and The Thaw fit the bill perfectly. Of course, even those that prefer blood and guts over social commentary will also be pleasantly surprised by the tension-filled The Thaw.

In addition to the relevant story, the pacing of the film is very fast. From the opening scenes of a nasty bug extraction to Dr. Kruipen’s videotaped confessions to a grisly scene of amputation and the nasty bug infestations, my eyes were glued to the screen for the entire running time. The action was tense, and except for a few poor decisions by the characters, everything felt very realistic. The characters were also refreshing and didn’t feature the usual dumb teens. Evelyn was a wonderful final girl who took charge almost immediately and seemed to have more common sense and scientific knowledge than the students. The students were a bit grating at times, but overall their characters’ reactions felt realistic…even if some of their decisions were poor.

As for the actors, most of them did a commendable job, especially Martha MacIsaac as Evelyn. She came off as a spoiled brat in the beginning, but really showed some intense leadership skills as the film progressed. I also have to point out Viv Leacock, who played Bart the helicopter pilot, for his even and brave portrayal…even during and after a nasty amputation. Val Kilmer must also be mentioned here, even if he was only in a third of the film. He played the Doctor very convincingly, with an eerie, unsettling calmness that really forewarned of the calamity that would follow in his wake.

The special effects were the real standouts of the film, though. From the parasites burrowing and squirming into flesh to the mushy egg sacs to the freshly-hatched young devouring their hosts and so on, I was left with the heebie jeebies! Nothing is completely over-the-top, but the gruesome scenes carry with them a sense of reality, like something is possible and could happen…if we aren’t careful. The film reminded me of a mix of Cabin Fever, The Ruins and The Last Winter.

The Thaw is a film that creeps under your skin and squirms there, tickling your mind with its social conscious stance as well as its gruesome set pieces. It reminds us that Mother Nature can only take so much before she reveals her most shocking secrets to us…secrets that could spell humanity’s demise.

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Long Weekend (1978)

Earlier this year I watched the disappointing Nature’s Grave, which I found out was actually a remake of the 1978 Australian film Long Weekend. As I dug a little deeper I discovered that many people held Long Weekend in high regard and it had been called one of the greatest nature-run-amuck films ever made. So after watching the unremarkable remake, which was supposedly shot-for-shot of the original, I felt it was only fair to go back to the source and watch Long Weekend.

Long Weekend isn’t your standard nature’s revenge flick – it is far more subtle, and is more of a psychological struggle between a bickering city couple and the unfamiliar outdoors they’ve chosen as a vacation spot. Some could argue that there is a supernatural element to the proceedings, but everything that happens also has a perfectly logical, natural explanation as well…it just seems supernatural because the city slickers aren’t familiar with nature and definitely don’t respect it.

Before I get ahead of myself, let me give a brief synopsis of Long Weekend:

Peter (John Hargreaves) and Marcia (Briony Behets) are a married couple who are obviously having some issues. To hopefully patch up their marriage they head out to a deserted beach for a long weekend. Peter brings his dog, Cricket, and his trusty rifle to shoot at random stuff as he drinks beer, leaving a trail of litter in his wake. Marcia does nothing but complain that they are far away from her friends and how she would much rather spend a nice weekend at a luxury hotel, all the while burning a hole in the ozone layer as she constantly hoses down the campsite with bug spray. The couple continues to have a flippant disregard for the environment – Marcia flicks cigarette butts everywhere, Peter throws beer bottles into the brush and kills innocent animals (he runs over a kangaroo, kills a mama duck with an errant bullet and shoots a sea cow repeatedly). Soon, the laws of nature come into play and Peter and Marcia face the harsh justice of the jungle.

Long Weekend is a gorgeous film, with wide panning shots of the crystal-clear surf and white sand beach. The pristine environment makes the destruction Peter and Marcia cause that much more ugly and harsh. It’s a very sharp contrast between the food wrappers, cigarette butts, bottles of beer and the once pure coastline. Yet, in the finale when Peter stumbles upon another abandoned campsite we see how humans may come and go but Mother Nature seems to bounce back from any blight humans mar her with. Director Colin Eggleston definitely crafted a socially conscious and stunning film that was way ahead of its time.

As for the story, writer Everett De Roche really involves the audience in his cautionary tale. As mentioned earlier, it has a bit of a supernatural feel to it, but you could also look at it from a very rational point of view as well. It’s all in how you perceive the film, and I like how De Roche left it ambiguous for the audience. I also like how the characters were so unlikable, yet you were still interested to see what would happen to them and even a bit concerned for their safety (even though they brought their misfortune on themselves). All their trouble basically stemmed from poor decisions they made and their unfamiliarity with the outdoors. I mean, who really steals an eagle egg, smashes it and doesn’t expect the bird to come after them or approaches a possum and doesn’t expect to get bitten? Though the two leads make poor decisions, there is a part of you wishing they get out alive and perhaps learn a lesson not to mess with nature. Kudos to De Roche for making us care about such unlikable characters.

Both Briony Behets and John Hargreaves must also be commended for their strong performances in Long Weekend. They are basically the only two characters in the film, plus they are rotten individuals (she is always nagging while he is just an asshole, plus they have their own nasty secrets that come out as the film progresses), and yet we cannot take our eyes away from them. I think the biggest problem with the remake, Nature’s Grave, was the acting. In the remake the two leads didn’t have the fiery chemistry that Behets and Hargreaves possess, nor did they play it as realistically. Hargreaves and Behets really sell the characters and really involve us in the story, making us want to see and learn more about their vile characters.

There is also a lot to discover within the story itself, as the secrets of the secluded beach reveal themselves. The film is slow-paced, but that doesn’t make it bad by any means! Instead, it spends time building the tension and is punctuated by several shocking scenes (Peter’s crossbow accidentally going off and almost hitting Marcia, an aerial attack by an eagle, a menacing shape in the water while Peter is out swimming, Peter’s exploration of an overgrown campsite, and so on). The atmosphere of slowly-building dread is nicely accompanied by a beautiful score that helps accentuate the eeriness and tension of the film.

If you happen to come across Nature’s Grave, I recommend skipping it and renting the far superior original, Long Weekend. Though this is not your typical “animals-run-amuck” revenge film, it is still a breathtaking and tension-filled film that deserves to be seen by those that like their slowly-creeping horror!

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Caesar and Otto's Summer Camp Massacre (2009)

Looking at the DVD for Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre, there is no doubt that the intent of the movie is to spoof such horror classics like Sleepaway Camp and the Friday the 13^th films. Now, there are many low budget films that try to spoof horror films – but few succeed in actually being funny. So, looking at the DVD I was wary about popping it in, fearing it would be painful to sit through. Not even the promise of it starring Brinke Stevens and Felissa Rose got me excited and the synopsis didn’t sound entirely promising:

After punching out the police chief’s mentally challenged brother, belligerent nancy-boy, Caesar, is on the run. Together, he and his slovenly brother, Otto, take on new identities as counselors at the strangely vacant Camp Sunsmile.

The summer camp has attracted a motley crew of Hollywood outcasts, each with something to hide. But when the mysterious Carrie (Felissa Rose, star of Sleepaway Camp) shows up, the counselors begin disappearing one by one.

Soon, Caesar and Otto find themselves on the edge of a summer camp killer’s blade as they run, duck and swoosh for their lives!

So, the DVD sat on my desk for quite a few weeks before I reluctantly decided to pop it in the DVD player. What followed was a slapdash, wacky and silly film that had its moments, but overall didn’t stand out enough for me to enjoy.

It is supposed to be a comedy, but many of its jokes fall very flat. I love when movies poke fun at the clichés of horror films, but all the jokes I heard in Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre felt reused and recycled. There are also lots of sight gags, including severed arms, chainsaw mishaps and Three Stooges-style physical humor, but none of it elicited more than a brief smile from me. No folks, I’m not dead inside but I require a little more than people getting bumped on the head for kicks, especially in a full-length movie.

The jokes weren’t all that funny, but did the film actually use some likable characters? Eh, not so much. The lead character, Caesar (played by writer/director Dave Campfield), is extremely flamboyant and his screechy voice gets on your nerves after a while…think Chris Kattan playing Corky Romano. I wish we had seen more of Otto (Paul Chomicki), the “gentle giant” of the pair, because he seemed entirely more interesting than Caesar and his bumbling personality. I did enjoy the character of the head camp counselor, played by Ken MacFarlane. His character was a bit on the fruity side too, but he put on a great performance. I also liked the character of Carrie, played by Felissa Rose, who is basically reprising of her role of Angela from Sleepaway Camp. It’s also a joy to see Rose again in a fun role that kinda makes us forget about her part in the atrocious Return to Sleepaway Camp.

As for the horror part of the film, it doesn’t offer much. While there is a killer stalking the camp counselors, the actual kills are done off camera and there is no over-the-top gore featured here either. Since the comedy part of the film doesn’t hold up, it would have been nice for some blood and guts to make up for that fact…unfortunately, this isn’t the case. However, I did enjoy the “mad scientist” lab at the end of the film and the killer’s ensuing explanation as to why he or she is so gung-ho about killing people.

Despite a few shining moments, Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre just wasn’t my kind of flick. Though for an indie it was very competently filmed, it lacked good jokes…I mean, how many times have we heard the one about the chick in the horror film that gets naked and then gets killed by the masked murderer? With these tired old jokes and quickly exhausting an arsenal of slapstick, the film’s hour and a half running length feels much, much longer than it actually is.

Overall, Caesar and Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre was a disappointing effort for me. Though it is very well filmed, the slapstick humor just didn’t resonate with me and the film felt goofy but not funny. While it does elicit some brief smiles here and there, there’s just not enough fresh material to keep the film afloat for its entire running time. Perhaps it would have been better suited as a short film, but as a feature-length it feels drawn-out and never-ending.

Visit Caesar and Otto’s Official Site!

Book Review: Dark Lullaby by Mayra Calvani

Dark Lullaby is a modern-day dark fairy tale, but not like your typical Disney happily-ever-after BS. Instead, this dark tale is like traditional folklore from Eastern Europe, dark, unsettling, mysterious and shocking. The supernatural villain in this book is unlike anything I’ve ever heard of or seen before in the horror genre, creating an aura of exotic mystery along with the distant setting of Turkey.

The tale starts with Gabriel fresh out of a three year relationship with Liz. The two remain close friends and have met up at a local bar for drinks and philosophical discussion of good vs. evil. The alluring and mysterious Kamilah soon joins them, and Gabriel is entranced by her beauty as well as her discussions on human nature. Liz gets a bad feeling about Kamilah, but Gabriel soon falls head over heels in love with her. Though he can’t deny there is something unsettling about her, he just can’t seem to get her out of his mind.

Though his twin sister, Elena, is having a stressful pregnancy across the pond in Europe and Gabriel is supposed to be at the birth in a week, he agrees to go with Kamilah to her home land of Turkey for a little R and R at her family’s cottage deep in the woods. When he arrives with Kamilah in Turkey, he feels cut off from both his sister and Liz and begins to feel more unsettled by Kamilah’s petulant child-like behavior and unnerved by several strange occurrences. Gabriel begins to believe that Kamilah wants harm to come to both Elena’s unborn child and Liz. Is Kamilah someone…or something…truly evil and what are her true intentions?

Though author Mayra Calvani has written many books over a wide span of genres, this was my first encounter with the woman’s writing. Though I felt that the opening pages of the book, where Liz and Gabriel are having a philosophical debate, were a bit weak, I was soon transported into a frightening story that had a tendency to crawl under my skin and squirm long after I put the book down.

The foreboding atmosphere of the novel was really helped by the location of exotic Turkey. It really felt like the family cottage of Kamilah, surrounded by primordial forest, was straight out of an enchanted fairy tale. Then there were the quaint, cobblestone streets of the local town and the dazzling blue of the Black Sea in the distance to add to the location’s mystique. All the supernatural events that occurred to Gabriel after their arrival in Turkey felt very apropos in such a mysterious locale.

I also thought the intriguing characters added a lot to the story. Gabriel, with all his talk of reason, is a very emotional man at heart and during his trip with Kamilah his emotions are used against him to draw him further into her tangled web. Kamilah, though a whiny brat, knows how to get her way and has a very dangerous presence. I also liked the subplots involving Elena, suffering anxiety and a sense of dread during her last few weeks of pregnancy, and Liz, suffering psychological torment at the hands of an unseen assailant. Other characters stood out as well, including a Turkish witch that tries to warn Gabriel what Kamilah really is and a young boy and his abusive father whom Gabriel feels a special connection to.

As for the scares, there are many scenes that will give you chills! One that hits you hard is close to the beginning of the story where Gabriel thinks he sees something horribly strange…Kamilah’s feet on backwards! Other favorites include creepy scenes in the Turkish woods when Gabriel follows the sounds of babies crying to some very disturbing trees, an unexpected attack from a swarm of bees and a stunning finale.

Dark Lullaby is a quick-paced, fun summer read for when you need a good chill! Its basis in Turkish mythology makes it unique and the splendid setting of Turkey doesn’t get much more exotic! The supernatural tale has plenty of nightmarish imagery to keep you up at night, but the “thriller” aspects of the story make it a good read for horror fans and non-horror fans alike! There is just enough romance and intrigue to interest those who aren’t necessarily horror fans, but also enough supernatural elements and scares to keep the spooky kids entertained.

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Dead Wood (2009)

Dead Wood starts off with indulging itself in quite a few horror cliches. The opening scene features an extraneous character running through the woods who is eventually offed by a mysterious someone or something before shifting focus to the main group of young adults who are heading out to the same isolated woods to partake in some weekend relaxation before they are offed one by one by a mysterious killer.

Yet, the “killer” is not your average psychopath but something more supernatural, and this is where this indie film finally gets interesting. Yet, before getting to the interesting bits you’ll have to slog through some seriously boring scenes of the characters staring off into space, bickering and just wandering around. Is it worth it? Read on to find out…

Two English couples leave the city and head into the woods for a fun, let’s-get-back-to-nature type weekend. There is newbie couple Jess (Rebecca Craven) and Milk (John Samuel Worsey), who are still awkward around one another, and horny couple Larri (Emily Juniper) and Webb (Fergus March). They take their VW van up into the woods and load up all their gear and hike toward what they hope is the lake. They never find the lake, but since dark is approaching decide to make camp in the middle of the forest. The next morning, they are surprised to find a mysterious girl named Ketsy (Nina Kwok) huddled over their camp fire. She says she’s been wandering for days looking for her lost boyfriend. The quartet decide to help her, but in the process of searching for Ketsy’s lost boyfriend they go missing one by one. Can the remaining survivors discover what evil presence inhabits the woods and save their friends or is it already too late?

Despite the fact that this film starts off like any other low-budget slasher flick, I like the fact that it didn’t stick to the slasher formula with the “killer.” Instead of having some masked maniac stalking the victims, in Dead Wood a more supernatural entity is behind the disappearances…and just wait until you see exactly where the bodies are being kept!

I really liked the different direction the film went towards the end, but nonetheless I still had to wade through the crappy first part of the film. The opening scene was cliche, but the scene directly after where Jess and Milk are waiting for the van to come pick them up was completely unnecessary and really killed any tension of suspense the first scene had. Basically, they are just awkwardly sitting there and I don’t know why this scene wasn’t cut from the film. It would have been much less painful had it just started with the couples driving into the woods. This uneven pacing continued for the first half of the film…mostly we saw the couples trekking through the woods, getting lost, setting up camp and partying a little, but it just felt so dragged out! A bit of better editing could have definitely helped and made it more fast-paced.

However, this slow pace does let us enjoy some great camera work! The partying scene was pretty cool because the film would slow down, then speed back up, then slow down, turning what could have been a very normal party scene into something much more trippy. I also liked when the camera moved through the woods a la Evil Dead. Very nice homage there! The film boasts three directors who also acted as the film’s cinematographers – David Bryant, Sebastian Smith, Richard Stiles (they also wrote, edited, produced and pretty much did everything else!) – and they did a fantastic job with the camera work, especially considering this was a low-budget film. There are some scenes that look a little soft focus and fuzzy, but most of the shots have a high-quality feel to them.

Surprisingly, the acting was pretty decent. You never know what you are going to get in low-budget films, but the actors in Dead Wood pleasantly surprised me. I believe this was the first feature film for most involved, and they all did quite a bang up job! I especially liked Nina Kwok as Ketsy, the girl no one is sure if they can trust.

As for the scares, well up until the end we don’t get much except for eerie sounds and rustling trees. I did like that the filmmakers held back and didn’t show too much, but I think the film needed a few extra scares to really ratchet up the tension. There is one scary nighttime scene where a flashlight keeps going out and on and out and on…and the last time it comes on a gruesome face is inches from one of the survivors! That was a nice jolt right there, even when you do expect something to happen.

There’s not much blood or gore in Dead Wood, but towards the end there is a really cool special effect when we learn just where all the victims are stashed. Kudos to visual effect gurus Rob Ellis and Richard Stiles as well as special makeup effects artist Mike Peel for their amazing work throughout the film!

You know, despite not liking the first half of the film I admit I am glad to have seen Dead Wood. It just goes to show how much can be done with a minuscule budget and a lot of passion. The supernatural twists to the story more than make up for the trite and stereotypical first part of the film and looking back I find myself liking the film’s subtleties more and more.

Dead Wood comes out on DVD July 7th, 2009 and though I wouldn’t recommend it as a purchase, check it out as a rental!

Available from Amazon!

My Little Eye (2002)

You really can’t seem to flip channels without coming across some reality show. Whether you are Keeping Up with the Kardashians, hanging with The Girls Next Door, taking in Deadliest Catch or another one of the hundreds of reality shows, there is a glut of reality programming that shows no signs of slowing down. Are we really that obsessed with watching other people’s lives instead of living our own?

Our reality show contestants in My Little Eye certainly hope that’s true, especially since they’ve entered in a contest where they must survive six months in an isolated, creepy old house with every second of their tenure there filmed for an eager, voyeuristic audience. At the end of the six months, they will all get a nice paycheck of $1 million…but there’s a catch. If any of them leave before the six months are up, then none of them get any of the dough.

The film picks up during the last week or so of their six month sentence, and everyone is particularly antsy. Snow is falling thick and heavy outside and supplies are dwindling. Not to mention that the myriad of cameras installed within the house follow their every move. With just mere days to go, strange things start happening. One of the guys gets a letter saying his grandpa has died and funeral services will be held before his time on the show is up. Another girl finds an eerie phrase from her childhood written on one of the windows and a bloody hammer in her bed. The group begins receiving strange “supplies” – like a box of bricks and a loaded gun. Then, a lost skier stumbles upon their house and claims he’s never heard or seen anything about their reality show. Is the reality show company responsible for these strange occurrences? Are they trying to trick them out of their hard-earned cash? Is it all being done to boost ratings? Or is something more sinister going on?

Horror films that feature a reality show usually don’t fare too well (see Halloween: Resurrection), but My Little Eye is different. It is full of tension, interesting characters and an intriguing storyline that will have you guessing until the end. Though it starts slow, with the group suffering from cabin fever from being cooped up in a house all this time, it does a good job in slowly building dread. Things just get creepier and creepier, until the satisfying ending that will just leave you saying, “wow…”

I also love how the film is shot and all the action is captured on the cameras that are wired throughout the house. Whether the action occurs in creepy green-tinged night vision or is seen through a grate in the bathroom, it really gives the film a voyeuristic edge, almost as if you were watching a snuff film. I’m not sure what the logistics were in the shooting of the film, but it truly does look like it was all shot on those security cameras! Fantastic job by director Marc Evans!

The story, written by David Hilton and James Watkins (Eden Lake and the upcoming The Descent 2), is a slow-burn but one that immediately sucks you in, especially when strange occurrences start happening and the pace picks up. There are also a few nice surprises toward the end that caught me off guard and grab your attention!

The characters are all pretty likable or at least interesting. There’s bad-boy Rex (Kris Lemche), sexy Charlie (Jennifer Sky), all-American Matt (Sean CW Johnson), sensitive Danny (Stephen O’Reilly) and skittish Emma (Laura Regan). Their interactions and relationships with each other ring true and it really does feel like they’ve been roommates for the last 5+ months. Each of them has their own dark secrets, which slowly come to light as they are tested in their last week or so of the show.

The acting was surprisingly great, with all the actors giving solid, believable performances. Laura Regan really gave a stand-out performance as the fragile Emma, but the rest of the cast was equally impressive. There is even an appearance by Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Midnight Meat Train) where he plays the lost skier. It was quite a pleasant surprise to see him in this film!

Now, this film is more about building tension than showering the audience with blood, so there isn’t that much gore. Again, though, this doesn’t hurt the film at all! Instead, when the grue finally does show up at the end of the movie it makes much more of an impact than had it been shown throughout the entire film! There is one particularly nasty scene at the end involving someone’s head getting unexpectedly blown open that is really an “oh sh*t!” moment!

My Little Eye is a suspenseful film that relies on the mystery of the characters’ situation to keep your attention. Its slow-burn works extremely well in building up a tremendous amount of tension, and it also helps that we actually care about the characters and want to know as much as they do who is pulling the strings and behind the strange occurrences. Not too many people have seen this movie, and that’s quite a shame! It is a gem of a horror movie that deserves more fans!

What do I spy with My Little Eye? A fantastic horror movie, that’s what! Now go check it out!

Available from Amazon!

Friday the 13th (2009)

Remakes. Reimagings. Reboots. Whatever you choose to call recycled and reused ideas in Hollywood, everyone has their opinion on them. Most horror fans think they are all rubbish, and I tend to agree. Sometimes, though, I see a few of them so I can judge for myself whether they are decent or completely useless.

In recent memory there have only been a few decent remakes, like Alexandre Aja’s The Hills Have Eyes. With the hope of something good coming out of all the unoriginality Hollywood has to offer, I set out to watch the new Friday the 13^th “reimaging,” which really is a mix of parts 1, 2 and 3 instead of a straight remake. I’ve been wary of it ever since I first heard about it, especially since it was produced by Michael Bay and directed by Texas Chainsaw remake director Marcus Nispel, but even though I thought a reboot of the classic was unnecessary, I figured I’d give it a chance.

A chance I wish I had never taken…

A group of 20-somethings hike into the woods to look for a pot farm, which just happens to be near the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. One of the kids explains how 20 years ago Mrs. Vorhees went psycho and slaughtered the camp counselors, blaming them for her son’s drowning death at the camp. The kid goes on to explain that Mrs. Vorhees son, Jason, is actually rumored to be alive and killing people to avenge his mother’s death in the very woods they are in. ‘Sho ‘nuff, they’ve stumbled on Jason’s stomping grounds and he makes bloody quick work of the group.

Six months later, Clay is looking for his missing sister, who was one of the unfortunates in the pot-seeking group. Clay has had no luck with the authorities around Crystal Lake taking his sister’s disappearance seriously, so he’s decided to take things into his own hands. He is convinced that she disappeared near Crystal Lake and won’t give up until he finds some clue or leads about her disappearance. Clay meets up with a bunch of douchebag rich kids who are partying at a cabin by the lake and one-by-one they meet their deaths at the hands of Jason.

I couldn’t even think of a synopsis that would make this film sound interesting! Seriously, Hollywood studios, please stop insulting horror fans’ intelligence by releasing these watered-down remakes! I know you are just trying to make a quick buck, but does that buck have to come at the expense of genre fans? We are the core audience of these remakes, so stop pissing us off!!

There are so many things wrong with this movie I don’t even know where to start. The main things that really bugged me about this reboot were the plot holes, inconsistencies and just overall laziness with the story. Freddy vs. Jason writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift aren’t known for their consistency and other writer Mark Swift’s only claim to horror fame is his The Messengers script, so right then and there you know the story isn’t going to be the film’s strongest point.

First off, let’s talk about some of the ridiculous story points in the plot. The opening scene with the first bunch of kids searching for pot didn’t ring true at all. If it was Jason’s stomping grounds do you really think he’d let a pot farmer plant his crop there? Don’t think so! And weren’t the kids even remotely worried about pot farmers, who usually pack heat as well as plant booby traps so no one gets in their crop? The whole “pot” angle really could have been left out of the movie and nothing would have been lost, which really makes me wonder why it was in there in the first place! That may be a minor quibble, but another WTF moment came when we are introduced to Jason’s underground lair. Yep, apparently Jason has spent the last 20 or so years tunneling under Camp Crystal Lake and building an underground hideout just like Leatherface and family did in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! Was this necessary? Did this make Jason any scarier? Did this make any kind of sense? No, no and no!!

As for the characters, they were all unlikable buffoons that you didn’t care about. None of the women really stood out and didn’t have much to do except get naked and all the guys were pretty much macho assholes or stoners. At least in the originals there were some spunky kids you could root for, but here it is a barren wasteland of banality. The closest we came to having any empathy was for Jared Padalecki’s character of Clay, but even then he would turn around and do something boneheaded (like fighting douchebag rich kid #1) that made you lose all sympathy for him.

You’d think watching the lackluster characters suffer horrible deaths would be fun, and it might have been had the kills actually been brutal or at least interesting. The lack of gore and uninventive, boring deaths sure were a snooze, just like the rest of the movie. The only memorable death I can remember is one involving someone in a sleeping bag suspended over a camp fire being burned alive…but that was within the first 15 minutes and it was all downhill from there.

The only commendable thing about this “reimaging” is Derek Mears performance as Jason. Physically, he looked the hulking, menacing part and also got down Jason’s creepy mannerisms quite well! The character of Jason, being faster and smarter, is a bit different from the one we are used to and I can’t say I enjoyed his ninja-quick way of disappearing and reappearing (like from the ground to onto a roof in 1.5 seconds), but Mears’ performance was the only thing I enjoyed in the film.

Friday the 13^th is a spotty patchwork of plot holes, unlikable characters, unbelievable circumstances and uninteresting kills. Marcus Nispel’s direction looks sleek and flashy as usual, but you can’t really polish a turd. No matter how pretty and shiny it looks, the weak storyline, stupid characters and lackluster kills just drag this film down.

A very disappointing reboot for horror fans, Friday the 13^th is one Friday you’ll want to forget.

Available from Amazon!