Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is another wacky, over-the-top and ultra-gory film from filmmakers Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Meatball Machine) and Naoyuki Tomomatsu (Zombie Self-Defense Force, Stacy). If you are a fan of zany, weird and off-kilter horror films drenched in cartoonish gore, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl might be right up your alley!

Monami (Yukie Kawamura) is just your basic love-struck high-schooler mooning over the dreamy Mizushima (Takumi Saitô). She professes her love with a chocolate candy she presents him on Valentine’s Day, but when Mizushima bites into it he discovers it is filled with blood…Monami’s blood. Turns out she is really a vampire and wants to turn him so they can spend the rest of their long lives together. However, Mizushima’s current girlfriend Keiko (Eri Otoguro) doesn’t take the news too kindly…but after she confronts Monami she meets a bloody end (but perhaps not in the way you would expect). However, she is soon resurrected by her mad scientist father, who patches her together with body parts from her schoolmates and resurrects her as Frankenstein Girl. Frankenstein Girl then faces off against Vampire Girl in the final battle for Mizushima’s heart.

Ok, how can you go wrong with gore so over-the-top it’s comical, butt-kicking chicks, weird Japanese fashion, melodramatic high school angst, a Dr. Frankenstein mad scientist, vampires, geisha Frankenstein monsters, and some of the most seriously disturbing high school clubs this side of Sweet Valley High? You can’t, that’s how! Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is a seriously strange film, but that’s why I liked it so much!

The majority of the film deals with the love triangle between Monami, Mizushima and Keiko in the setting of their high school. During this part of the film we meet the main characters’ classmates, including a group of Japanese girls pretending to be black (complete with extreme caricatures/stereotypes like big lips, Afros, gold chains, etc.) who run a black power club and another group of girls who belong to the wrist-cutting club. Both of these clubs and their members were so over-the-top that you just can’t help but laugh! It also pokes fun at stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl and gothic Lolita fashions.  Then there is Keiko’s dad, who at first appears to be a mild-mannered science teacher and assistant principal…however, it is revealed later that he is a cackling mad scientist who is killing off students to try to bring them back to life, Frankenstein-style. He even has a wacky costume complete with traditional Japanese robes, long white wig and Kabuki makeup. Again, another outrageous character you can’t help but laugh at.

The film carries this comical tone throughout, even during the gory fight scenes. The opening scene alone, where Monami battles three Frankenstein monster-like girls, sets the tone for the rest of the film because it is just so gosh darn goofy! Monami strips the skin off the girls’ faces and in the midst of it raining blood she neatly stacks the clacking skulls one on top of the other. The rest of the gore is equally graphic, but still humorous. And you can’t beat the final battle that occurs on top of a fake Eiffel Tower!

My one gripe is that the film focuses too much on the teenage angst and drama (even if it is in a satirical, humorous way) and we don’t get to see the Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl battle until the very end. Keiko doesn’t even turn into Frankenstein Girl until nearly the end, which is kind of a let down since this means Frankenstein Girl doesn’t get much screen time. And for being a vampire, Monami doesn’t spill that much blood with her fangs (no attacks on fellow classmates, for example), not to mention that she can walk in the sun (though too much exposure makes her woozy).

Despite these quibbles, I had a very fun time with Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl. While it is not as shocking as other extreme Asian films, its silliness definitely won me over. And despite its ridiculous nature, the film spills quite a bit of grue. If you are a fan of bizarre and outlandish cinema, I highly encourage you to check out Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl!

Available from Amazon

Ninjas vs. Vampires (2010)

From the creator’s of the cult smash Ninjas vs. Zombies comes Ninjas vs. Vampires, a fun independent film that boasts plenty of action, comedy and horror! Written and directed by Justin Timpane, Ninjas vs. Vampires is full of hilarious one-liners, lots of sword-swinging, martial arts action, spilled blood and even a bit of magic.

It tells the tale of Aaron, who moments after he is rejected by the girl of his dreams is attacked by vampires. Luckily they are both saved by mysterious ninjas. Aaron tracks down the ninjas for answers and soon becomes involved in the ninja vs. vampire war.

As mentioned above, this was a fun independent film of pretty high quality. It did have its flaws, namely some over-acting and cheesy effects, but its flaws soon became part of its quirky charm! What really made me dig the film so much was the witty dialogue, delivered by aplomb by the leads. The dialogue really made me care for the good guys and made me want to keep watching.

I also thought the action scenes between the vampires and the ninjas were really well-choreographed and entertaining to boot. Sure, some of the special effects involving fire, muzzle blasts, etc. were unrealistic-looking, but considering the low budget nature of the film I was willing to let these flaws slide. Plus, the martial arts/action scenes were kick ass regardless of the weak CGI.

The storyline was well-written, with enough exposition to help us understand the “rules” of the vampires and the ninja’s accelerated training. I also liked how they incorporated magic into the plot without coming off as cheesy. Timpane did a great job developing the characters and giving them distinct voices. I really dug the lead of Aaron, played by Jay Saunders, but all the characters were pretty likable. The only one I didn’t really like was the lead vampire, who just seemed a bit too stereotypical to me. The actor who played the lead vamp came off kind of wooden as well.

However, overall Ninjas vs. Vampires is a fun, action-filmed romp that was surprisingly entertaining. It had awesome action sequences, characters we cared about and an engaging and unique storyline. Want to find out who wins this war? Then check out Ninjas vs. Vampires to find out!

Buy it on Amazon!

2:22 (2009)

2:22 is the new short film from Abyssmal Productions, written and directed by Steven Shea and produced by Tim Anderson. The short had its world premiere at the prestigious Stiges Film Festival in Spain and also screened at Screamfest Film Festival in L.A. as well as dozens of other festivals last year, and it looks like after securing distribution it will gain an even bigger audience now!

This seven minute short was shot in a whirlwind three days and spent three weeks in post-production before being rushed out for the fall festival run last year. The filmmakers’s are extremely proud of their cast and crew, and extremely excited to see their vision come to cinematic life.

A disclaimer before continuing: I’ve known fellow horror critic Tim Anderson for quite some time and was very eager to check out 2:22 after hearing so much about it before, during and after its production. Make no mistake, though, even though I am acquainted with Anderson I certainly won’t sugar-coat my review.

Here is the film’s official synopsis:

After an incredible night out with her girlfriends, Vickie Palmer (Tara Lightfoot) is wrenched from her peaceful slumber and cast mercilessly into a world spinning out of control.

Writhing half naked on the cold porcelain tile of her bathroom floor, Vickie desperately tries to piece together the tragic turn of events that has twisted her once carefree life into a nightmare of pain and suffering.

But when she discovers the truth, will it be too late to save her from eternal damnation?

After watching the short, I can tell you I was not disappointed or let down! The first thing I noticed about the film was its high quality. Most independent films, short or feature-length, usually look like they’ve been shot on a camcorder from the ‘80s. This poor quality doesn’t hurt my opinion of the film if the story is good enough…but it usually isn’t. So, it was nice to see a short film look spiffy for once!

It didn’t disappoint with the story either…from the first scene I was completely engrossed in Vickie’s story. She wakes up at 2:22 AM, hollering her head off, and rushes to throw up some fairly chunky blood…yeesh, what a hangover! As she tries to alleviate her pain by praying to the porcelain god, we are shown what really happened hours before, when she was carelessly dancing the night away at a club. Minute by intriguing minute we learn what has caused this waking nightmare for Vickie. There were so many red herrings to cause of Vickie’s malady that by the time the finale rolled around I was genuinely surprised (and delighted) at the twist at the end!

I also must mention what a great job the actors did…Tara Lightfoot as Vickie was the obvious standout (and I’m sure all you guys will appreciate her nekkidness throughout the short), and she really gave Vickie the perfect balance of sexiness, desperation and strength. Though the other actors didn’t really have any lines (but then again, neither did Tara, unless you count screaming), they did a great job conveying emotions through body language.

2:22 is a short film full of sexiness, seduction and surprises. Not only does it have an intriguing storyline, but it also has a professional polish that seems rare for short indie films. 2:22 is a masterfully crafted short film that grips you by the jugular and doesn’t let go!

Hallow's End (2003)

Here is another Halloween-themed film plumbed from the depths of Netflix that I decided to give a looksie. You see, I’m on a quest to watch as many Halloween-related horror flicks as possible, no matter how crappy they may be! After having to sit through titles like Mr. Halloween, I wasn’t expecting much with Hallow’s End. In some respects, it was as awful as I expected, but I was surprised that there were instances where I actually enjoyed the film.

Do you remember the Halloween episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Simpsons where the characters become whatever costume they are dressed up as on Halloween night? Hallow’s End is like that, only it is set in a haunted attraction with a higher ratio of terrifying creatures like vampires, zombies and monsters!

Ok, I really have to say I dug the haunted attraction (appropriately called “Hallow’s End”) where the film was set. It was a bare bones haunt (well, what do you expect when frat boys execute it?), but the atmosphere was still Halloween-y. There were lots of great shots of the haunt, the actors of the haunt and patrons in costume and so on, all of which I enjoyed.

However, the film took forever to get going. The first half shows the frat brothers and their girlfriends setting up the haunt (and in the process finding a mysterious spell book that sets everything in motion), but there is too much annoying fighting between the two main male leads. The horrible acting doesn’t really help either. Instead of focusing on the stupid squabbles between characters, I wish the film spent more time on the backstory of the location (the opening scenes show a bunch of Satanists performing a ritual, but the film doesn’t really expand on this confusing intro) and the spell book. There is also a character named Pumpkin Jack that has a large part in the story, but appears on-screen for less than 10 minutes. I found myself wondering more about him than any of the other characters. As for the two main male leads (the good guy vs. the bad guy), they were both unlikable. The “good” guy is wimpy and never defends himself or those around him while the “bad” guy is just a stereotypical asshole and one-dimensional. The fact that both of them have girlfriends in the film is pretty unbelievable.

The real action doesn’t kick in until the last 20 or so minutes of the movie as people start turning into their costumes. We get vampires, zombies, serial killers, etc. and there are some pretty fun scenes here. Nothing too gory or shocking (this is low-budget, after all), but nonetheless entertaining! It doesn’t quite make up for the slow pacing of the beginning of the movie, but at least its interesting and the concept, though half-assed and not developed enough, is pretty original and not your typical slasher.

If you are a Halloween nut, you’ll appreciate the spook house location of Hallow’s End. It’s a low-budget film, but it actually looks quite well-done, especially the sets in the haunt. However, it has some glaring issues, mainly the pacing, acting and storyline. If you are looking for a Halloween-themed movie to watch and have exhausted all the regular Halloween flicks, Hallow’s End might be worth a look, at least for a rental. It certainly isn’t the worst, but it’s far from the best.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Vampires Don't Sleep Alone by Elizabeth Barrial and D.H. Altair

How would you like to snag your very own Eric, your very own Bill, or maybe your very own Edward (though BARF on that last choice!)? The cleverly cute Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone: Your Guide to Meeting, Dating and Seducing a Vampire can be your guide to unlocking the secrets to being lucky in love with your very own immortal.

From the back cover:

Passionate and dangerous, the vampire is the ultimate lover. Stalking his prey in the dark of night, he is not easily tamed. But armed with the right skills for seducing a sexy immortal, you can meet, date and ultimately sleep with the vampire of your dreams. Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone provides the vital information you need to take a walk on the dark side and delve into the pulse-pounding world of vampire love and lust!

Let me tell you, if I could have an opportunity to seduce Eric from True Blood…::swoon::…I’d do it in a second! And with the helpful hints from Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone at least now I’d be prepared!

Written like a self-help dating book that assumes vampires are real, it is a very enjoyable, funny and sexy book that covers many different aspects. You can definitely tell the authors have done their homework! First, it gives you an introduction to vampires and basic info on different types (“Nosferatu, Lord Ruthven, or Carmilla: What Sort of Vamp are You Looking For”), their complicated relationships with their makers and addresses the large age difference between most vamps and their human companions (“VILFs: He’s 700 Years Old, and So Are His Hang-ups”). It then moves onto a section on the etiquette of dating a vampire, including chapters on what to wear for your vamp, “The Lucy Westernra Predicament: What to Do if He’s Turning Your Friends”, “The Van Helsing Issue: What to Do When Your Friends Dissaprove” and how to address the issue of his past. The third and final section of the book delves into the romancing and bedding a vampire. It covers subjects like “Shapeshifting: A Form of Roleplay” and “Is Feeding Cheating?”, among other things.

Authors Elizabeth Barrial (co-owner of Black Alchemy Lab) and D.H. Altair (the nom de plume of author and Dark Delicacies proprietor Del Howison) have crafted an amusing and enjoyable read. I especially appreciated the fact that it avoided lovey-dovey Twatlight-like romance. Instead of glittery, emo vampires, Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone emphasized the danger and unpredictability of vampire lovers. Which, hello, is what makes vampires so attractive in the first place!

Darkly witty and seriously sensual, Vampires Don’t Sleep Alone is the perfect book for all vampire fans!

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Book Review: Pretty When She Dies by Rhiannon Frater

Amaliya is just another college student until the night she is killed…and then turned into a vampire. Confused and filled with bloodlust, she seeks answers but her cruel creator abandons her to see how long she will survive. As she struggles with her new nature, she leaves a string of bodies across Texas before deciding to seek out others like herself for answers. She is picked up by Cian, the vampire ruler of Austin who shares the same creator she does. Vowing not to abandon her, Cian teaches Amaliya about her new dark nature and how to survive without detection. The two vampires share an undeniable attraction, yet Cian is engaged to be married to a perky human, one who is not too happy with Amaliya’s appearance.

Meanwhile, Amaliya is being watched by her creator, who is a powerful ancient necromancer that can command the dead. His new creation is but a plaything for him, and having his other child, Cian, involved only ups the ante for the cruel master.

Can Amaliya and Cian resist each other’s temptation? More importantly, can they finally defeat their elder creator?

I have to admit, when I received Pretty When She Dies I was expecting just another run-of-the-mill vampire novel. In a genre inundated with vampire stories, I wasn’t expecting much from Rhiannon Frater’s book. However, as soon as I began reading I just couldn’t put the book down!! Luckily, I was on vacation when I started reading and had plenty of leisure time to devote to Pretty When She Dies. I’m glad I did, because I did not want to stop reading the novel once I started! At the same time, the story was so delightfully dark and passionate I didn’t want it to end! Either way, I finished the novel in two days because it was so addicting.

I really don’t have anything bad to say about the book, just good things! First, I loved the character of Amaliya. She’s a mix of goth, punk and metal and from the very beginning I could empathize with her. She is very well-developed, and through her transformation you get to see the interaction with her family (her father is a prick, but her Grandmamma and cousin are very supportive). She is both vulnerable and tough, a combination that makes her that much more likable. And with her new vampire persona comes some neat-o powers. Seems that her creator passed on some of his necromancy skills to her, making things frightfully exciting! I also loved the other characters in the novel, from her wicked creator to the charming yet gruff Cian. Even Cian’s servant and his fiancé were well-developed and added more intrigue to the proceedings. Later in the novel, a vampire hunter becomes involved but ends up on a surprising side.

The book was chock full of tension and suspense. Amaliya’s violent and oftentimes messy adjustment to vampire life kept me on the edge of my seat. Her early kills seemed like they would be discovered by the police, but luckily they placed the blame on Satanists instead. And when she meets Cian the heat really gets turned up! This isn’t some cheesy and unbelievable Twatlight romance, but Amaliya and Cian’s attraction is raw and rough, exactly how it should be! I also enjoyed the interactions Amaliya had with other vampires, including a particularly sadistic fellow in San Antonio that didn’t like other vampires on his turf.

One small problem was that there were numerous typos in the book. The book is self-published (and otherwise looks great), but an editor could have done wonders. However, everything else that really matters (characters and story) were entirely enjoyable and thus the typos didn’t really detract too much from my adoration of Pretty When She Dies.

I could go on and on praising Pretty When She Dies, but honestly that would fill pages and pages and I don’t think you’d want to read all that. So, I will leave you with this: Pretty When She Dies is a bloody good time filled with violence, vampires, passion, Texans AND zombies…really, what else can you ask for?? Rhiannon Frater has crafted an engaging and addicting novel that I HIGHLY recommend! Word is that she has a sequel in the works, called Pretty When She Kills, and after her first vampire novel I am eagerly anticipating it!

Available on Amazon!

Book Review: The End of Church Street by Gregory L. Hall

A group of homeless goth kids who run the back alleys of Orlando, Florida are being targeted by a vampire slayer who thinks they are real creatures of the night. Though the kids like to wear fake fangs and don black capes to terrorize the tourists, they are pretty much harmless and the only people to bother them are the bored cops. Now, Vampire King and Queen Adam and Lucy must protect their brood of runaways from a real threat that is staking and decapitating members. Everyone is a suspect, from a detective called Duncan to the kids’ strange butler Renfield and even some of the kids themselves. Can they catch the deranged Van Helsing-wannabe before it’s too late?

Gregory L. Hall’s The End of Church Street is a fast-paced, fun read that offers up plenty of interesting characters, from the level-headed Adam to the sensual Lucy to innocent newbie Lilith to hothead Timmy. Each character has a varied past and Hall takes the time to develop all the characters so they each have distinctive personalities and pasts, making us care about every single one. I also like how they weren’t just stereotypical cut-outs of either homeless runaways or vampire freaks, but were really varied in appearance and personality. Hall did an excellent job giving each and every one of the characters emotional depth to ensure they really resonated with the reader. I was really cheering for the kids to elude the killer!

As for the killer, I enjoyed how Hall kept the reader on his or her toes the whole way, and gave us plenty of red herrings! I was positive I knew who the killer was, but the reveal completely surprised me! Kudos to Hall for actually creating a solid mystery that was suspenseful and surprising. The book kept me guessing and therefore kept me interested!

I also enjoyed the theatrical settings of the old theatre where the vampire kids live and the local haunt where Adam works. Both locations really added to the atmosphere of the book. Besides those two spooky locations, the foreboding dark alleys also added much to the setting. Shadowy encounters in the alleys really made my hair stand on end!

The only thing I didn’t quite like about the book is that sometimes its characters have a tendency to fall into melodramatics. I suppose that since they are teens they are predisposed for drama, especially since most of them are goths, but sometimes they go a bit too far and the book starts to focus more on the tangled relationships between characters rather than the horror at hand. This occurs a couple times, but thankfully doesn’t detract too much from my overall enjoyment of the novel.

Despite this small complaint, overall The End of Church Street is a solid horror novel that kept me enthralled in its spell. It’s a perfect quick read that will keep you glued to its pages and has several twists and turns that are sure to surprise you!

Order it on Amazon!

Book Review: Lucas Manson by Thomas Hauck

“When Special Agent Mark Dylan investigates a gruesome homicide, he uncovers the terrifying world of the Kingdom Seven Family Temple and its leader, the charismatic and ruthless Minister Lucas Manson. As Dylan and his partner Jill Kelly penetrate the secret inner sanctum of the temple, they learn that friends cannot be distinguished from enemies. The vast and powerful temple holds dark secrets that will change their lives forever.”

Lucas Manson first starts as a typical crazy cult/serial killer/police procedural novel – still interesting and well-written, but nonetheless a little bland. However, as the book progressed it thankfully added some unexpected twists and turns that took the story in an entirely surprising direction. I don’t want to give anything away, but let’s just say that the book reinvents a classic monster archetype in an entirely new way!

Besides the unexpected surprises the book holds, Lucas Manson is thrilling and action-packed. It encompasses many locations, from Boston to Egypt to Arizona to New York, keeping the action moving at a quick clip. From unraveling an ancient mystery in Egypt to tracking the rock star-like U.S. tour of the Kingdom Seven Family Temple to breaking into the cult’s heavily guarded compound in Arizon, Special Agent Mark Dylan careens through an action-packed landscape of grisly murders and centuries-old mysticism.

The murders aren’t especially gory, but fit quite well into the overall tone of the book. Despite not being gory, they pack quite a punch, as victims are drugged in a very unique way and then bled through several incisions in their arteries until their bodies are drained of blood. And it just gets creepier after you learn why the victims are being drained of blood!

However, the book does have its flaws. It gets off to a rocky start, including an awkward introduction of lead character Mark Dylan when he’s working undercover that has no bearing on the rest of the book. It then jumps directly into Dylan and his wife’s problems with getting pregnant, a character development ploy that doesn’t really go anywhere and drags on far too long. It doesn’t really have any impact on the rest story, and it didn’t help me feel more for the lead character either.

Despite these bumps in the road, once the novel takes off it really takes you for a ride! It may start off as a typical killer cult book, but it has plenty of twists and turns that elevate it far beyond any “standard” horror fare.

Check it out on Amazon!

Book Review: And Falling, Fly by Skyler White

And Falling, Fly is a beautifully poetic work by author Skyler White. I first became acquainted with Skyler through Women in Horror Month and her intriguing interview made me want to check out her novel.

And let me say, as much as I was impressed by her interview I was doubly impressed by And Falling, Fly!

The description from the back cover:

In a dark and seedy underground of burned-out rock stars and angels-turned-vampires, a revolutionary neuroscientist and a fallen angel must pit medicine against mythology in an attempt to erase their tortured pasts…but at what price?

Olivia, vampire and fallen angel of desire, is hopeless…and damned. Since the fall from Eden, she has hungered for love, but fed only on desire. Dominic O’Shaughnessy is a neuroscientist plagued by impossible visions. When his research and her despair collide at L’Otel Matillide – a subterranean hell of beauty, demons and dreams – rationalist and angel unite in a clash of desire and damnation that threatens to destroy them both.

In this fractured Hotel of the Damned, Olivia and Dominic discover the only force consistent in their opposing realities is the deep, erotic gravity between them. Bound to each other finally in a knot of interwoven freedoms, Dominic and Olivia – the vision-touched scientist and the earthbound angel, reborn and undead – encounter the mystery of love and find it is both fall…and flight.

And Falling, Fly is captivating and masterfully written by author Skyler White. In fact, writing is so fluid, graceful and imaginative that I just couldn’t put the novel down! I am usually one that loathes too much romance in books I read, but I actually enjoyed the love story between the two leads and it fit quite well into the over-arching story. With elegant prose, amazingly complex characters, intriguing forays into neuroscience, magical surroundings and even some nice philosophical and religious ponderings, and Falling, Fly is a wondrous book to have the pleasure to read!

Of course, this is a dark fantasy novel so besides the love story it features its fair share of bloody action – usually revolving around a clan of vampire sisters (whom Olivia belongs to). Their beauty is sharply contrasted against their ferocity as they feed on others’ desire and fear. In actuality, these vamps are actually fallen angels, but plenty of other demons haunt the pages (and other characters) of the book. The novel also takes place in a hotel otherwise known as Hell run by a kindly old man named Gaehod. Here he tries to help those that have fallen, but most don’t want the assistance and are content to do nothing but to waste away their eternity there.

I loved White’s description of the otherworldly L’Otel Matillide – it’s unlike any other Hell I’ve ever read about. Instead of a gigantic pit of fire, the Hell in and Falling, Fly is quite well-appointed and set up like a hotel. Though deep underground, it has a garden (complete with an apple tree and a serpent) with a river running through it, a night club where “guests” can indulge their every desire and endless rooms to explore. Sure, it might sound more like heaven, but it is a self-imposed prison for the lost and forsaken. There are also achingly beautiful descriptions of the Irish countryside, and White’s writing style and voice brings anything she describes to vivid life!

Like the setting, the story is just as complex. The backstory of Dominic being a “Reborn” (or one that is reincarnated but is cursed to remember his past lives) and trying to block his memories with neuroscience was extremely interesting. I also like how this tied into the ending of the book and how his desire to lose his memories threatened to defeat him in the end. The backstory of Olivia is just as thought-provoking – she desired to be loved and accepted just as she is so that she might re-gain her angel wings.

From its sophisticated, intelligent writing style to its compelling characters to its reinvention of vampire lore, And Falling, Fly had me hooked from page one. It’s a book that’s hard to put down once you start reading and extremely rewarding once you reach its end.

And Falling, Fly is a gorgeously penned dark fantasy novel that has piqued my thirst for more novels in this vein from Skyler White. It’s the perfect novel for hopeless romantics, sinners, saints and those in the mood for a completely different vampire novel.

Highly recommended!

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Book Review: Incarnadine - The True Memoirs of Count Dracula Vol. 1 by R.H. Greene

In the richly descriptive Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One, we are given a detailed account of the man that will come to be known as Count Dracula in his early years. We see what life was like for “Konstantin Kuzmanov” when he was a man and experience his life as a soldier during the Ottoman Empire, then his conversion to pious priest and witness his falling in love, only to see him lose his one true love and his subsequent defiance of the heavens that transforms him into one of the undead. During this transformation he takes several companions with him, three which survive and become his infamous “brides”. Incarnadine tells of Dracula’s early origins in Medieval Eastern Europe and author R.H. Greene fills the imaginative tome with historical fact, including religion, rule and superstitions, all of which make for a wondrous backdrop to the philosophical, religious, emotional and physical challenges the future Count Dracula encounters.

The novel is beautifully written by Greene, and has a rather bittersweet, melancholy tone that runs throughout. You really get a sense of Kuzmanov/Dracula’s point of view in Incarnadine, a perspective that runs much deeper and more philosophical than most books based on Bram Stoker’s character of Dracula. Since the book covers a large span of time, there are lots of profound and major events that occur, all of which add to the grand legend of Count Dracula. For example, at one point the newly undead vampire, distraught over what he has become, turns into a grand oak tree for a period of years. Yes, yes, I know how that sounds but instead of being outlandish and silly, author Greene makes the event a very poignant one.

Greene also weaves Slavic myth and legends throughout the novel, making it seem that much more realistic. Some of it (like the tree passage, mentioned above) seems straight out of a Brothers Grimm tale, but it is also nice to see some of the familiar vampire lore and superstition (crosses, the ability to shapeshift, the ability to control animals, sun sensitivity, etc.) peppered throughout the book. So while this particular book shows a wholly new perspective on Dracula, it still keeps some of the familiar vampire tropes and goes a step further by explaining their origins.

Indeed, there is so much both old and new going on in Incarnadine that I’m glad that these memoirs have been broken in two volumes. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading the second volume (though I hear it has already been written), but I eagerly look forward to it, as it picks up with Jonathan Harker paying Dracula a visit at his castle home in the Carpathian Mountains.

Incarnadine is a thoughtful, exciting and wholly engrossing novel that sheds new light on vampire lore and lets us experience the grand legend of Count Dracula through his own eyes. It has its share of gross-out gore (in particular, the description of some of the “brides” is cringe-worthy), but overall the novel delves into more profound, philosophical territory. If you like your vampire stories with a little more bite, I highly encourage you to check out Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One.

Buy it on Amazon!

Insatiable (2009)

Scott Perry’s silent short film Insatiable offers up a quick and satisfying vampire tale in under 30 minutes. Yup, I said “silent” film, as the story is told completely without dialogue…not an easy feat for a director or his actors, but Perry and his talented cast pull it off!

Insatiable tells the tale of a serial killer (Mike Lane) who is obsessed with vampires and uses fake fangs to kills his victims and then drains their blood for later use. Though he has had many victims, his distant wife (Zoe Daelman Chlanda) really has no idea what is going on with him. When he meets an enigmatic stranger (Raine Brown), things start to change for the vampire wannabe and his wife begins to suspect his dark secret.

For a low-budget indie, Insatiable looks great with balanced parts of grit and polish. It has an Expressionist feel that gives it a timeless air. One of my favorite scenes is a creepy dream sequence that looks like an old horror film from the 1920′s. The killer’s victims are all covered with translucent sheets (echoing the plastic sheets he used to cover them when he killed them) as they watch him attack the mysterious woman on a stage. The music accompanying this sequence is haunting and perfectly sets the eerie atmosphere.

Though the rest of the film doesn’t feature many scares (though the last bit is gory), it is still gripping and thrilling. It just has that mysterious aura about it that kept me interested. Plus, all of the actors give amazing performances that really sell the film. Considering they had to use just their movements and facial expressions to convey emotion, they did a phenomenal job. I loved everyone’s performance, to Mike Lane’s brooding, obsessed serial killer, to Zoe Daelman Chlanda as the concerned wife to Raine Brown as the mysterious woman with a few tricks up her sleeve!

As mentioned above, the film isn’t all that gory and instead focuses on the eerie atmosphere of the story. The blood-letting that is shown works well within the context and I found the special FX to be well done. A little gore goes a long way in this horror short!

Insatiable gives us a little taste as to what filmmaker Scott Perry is capable of, and let me tell you, after this I’m hungry for more!

Check out Insatiable’s Official Site!

The Familiar (2009)

In this quirky short film, Sam (Torrance Combs) is a vampire’s assistant, or familiar. At first, he thought it was his dream job, but his boss, the vampire Bolivar (Paul Hubbard), is a real nightmare! From disposing of bodies to taking care of the bosses’ finances to bathing his dead body, Sam pretty much does all of the vampire’s menial and disgusting tasks, getting little back for his loyal service. As he says, “I wanted to meet Dracula and I ended up serving Danny Bonaduce with fangs.” Sam sticks with the horrible job with hopes that Bolivar will eventually make him into a vampire as well, but when Sam finds out the truth about vampires and his position all bets are off.

The Familiar is a hilarious short film from writer and director Kody Zimmermann, full of quotable lines, great performances and is just an overall fun experience. Zimmermann wrote the film after a horrible experience as a personal assistant to a Hollywood actor. After that experience, Zimmermann became interested in what Renfield’s point of view might have been in Dracula as well as addressing how countless underpaid and underappreciated assistants feel every day. Keeping that in mind, Zimmermann decided to helm the unforgettable Familiar short.

With a quick wit, perfect comic timing and clever cultural quips (Sam asks, “Do all vampires know jujitsu so they can fight Buffy and Blade?”), Zimmermann’s script is whip smart. This is his first writing credit on IMDB.com, but I sure hope he writes something else because his immense talent shouldn’t go to waste! If his humor peppered TV shows and more films the world would be a better place!

His direction isn’t shoddy either, and The Familiar looks pretty damn amazing taking into consideration its small budget. We aren’t talking anything fancy here, but it still looks great and doesn’t have that low-budget look that haunts most indie films. Even the special effects that are peppered throughout the film look professional. My favorite would have to be an impressive staking of a vampire and the subsequent burning by sunlight. The fact that the film is low budget AND a short film makes it all that much more impressive.

The two leading actors, Torrance Combs and Paul Hubbard who play Sam and the vampire Bolivar, respectively, do a fine job as well. Their stellar acting also makes the film seem like it’s got a much bigger budget. And it wasn’t just the two leads that were great, it was also the supporting actors who gave strong performances, among them Jason Harder who played a vampire slayer and Art Ritching who played, as Sam calls him, “the vamp equivalent to the Godfather”.

My only complaint about the short is that it isn’t longer. Zimmermann has said that the only reason that The Familiar was made into a short was because of monetary constraints, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that one day this will be made into a full-length feature because I think it would be a smash hit and has the potential to be the funniest horror film since Shaun of the Dead! In fact, The Familiar does for vampires what Shaun of the Dead did for zombies.

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Vampire Party (2008)

Equally quirky and entertaining, France’s Vampire Party (aka Les Dents de la Nuit or The Teeth of the Night) is a horror spoof that keeps the jokes and action coming fast and furious. What it lacks in gore (there’s really not that much worth mentioning) it definitely makes up for in laughs. Its official synopsis compares it to both Airplane! and Shaun of the Dead, though Vampire Party plays up more of the oblivious comedy of Airplane! than the clever cinematic references of Shaun. While it is never as funny as its influences, this French import is still a very entertaining film that’s worth a look.

Vampire Party tells the tale of three friends, party animal Sam (Patrick Mille), aerobics instructor Alice (Frédérique Bel) and banker-with-a-wild-streak Prune (Julie Fournier), who happen to get their hands on invitations to a very exclusive party that’s gone down in urban legend. The party is so secretive that they are flown to the remote location, an old castle perched on the mountains, by helicopter. There they meet fellow partiers Edouard (Vincent Desagnat), a young but nerdy man, Serge Krinine (Sam Karmann), a “famous” dentist and Jessica Conti (Hélène de Fougerolles), an oblivious socialite. While hundreds of partiers get their groove and drink on, several dozen vampires await in the adjoining V.I.P. room for their leader, Le Duc de Journiac (Tchéky Karyo), to announce the human buffet open. Pretty soon, carnage ensues and the remaining characters must find a way out of the castle before they become a midnight snack.

Vampire Party is a short film, clocking in at less than 80 minutes, so it’s very fast-paced and there is always constant action. The jokes come pretty quick too, one after the other, and while some of them play with genre conventions (there is a reoccurring scene involving the famous scene from Titanic where the two lovers are on the bow of the ship and “on top of the world”) it would be a stretch to call Vampire Party a spoof. Instead, it has the random humor and sight gags of comedies like Airplane!, Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. For instance, after a vampire is vanquished, a character remarks that “the goose is cooked” and in response another character quips something along the lines of “what a strange time to be thinking about food!” The same airheaded character tears up the dance floor with some awful moves before saying about the techno music, “I love reggae!” That is the kind of silly comedy employed by Vampire Party, but even I, one who usually loathes horror comedy unless they are very well done, really enjoyed the film and its off-kilter humor!

First off, the characters are extremely likable, even the slightly odd ones, like the photo-obsessed Edouard and over-eager dentist. The film doesn’t spend a terribly long time on character development, but from the quick introductions you get a feel for all of the characters. It also bears mentioning that the entire cast did a fantastic job and all were believable in their roles. I especially liked the three main actors – Patrick Mille, Frédérique Bel and Julie Fournier – who played Sam, Alice and Prune respectably. They gave us characters to really cheer for! I also must say that I enjoyed the villain as well, played by Tchéky Karyo. His obsession for caring for his hair as opposed to chasing down victims was a fun sight to behold.

Secondly, the film was just fun to look at. From the beautifully illustrated and Fearless Vampire Killers-influenced opening credits to the clever introductions of Sam, Alice and Prune at the beginning of the film to the decadent party at the castle, there was never a dull second. The film also isn’t afraid to break the “fourth wall” and shows a character who uses a sound guy’s boom microphone to fight off a vampire while the film crew looks on incredulously.

My only complaint with the film is that it felt a bit rushed and the ending offered little resolution. Yes, the plot is clichéd, but that is the point of the movie and it shakes things up a bit with its hilarious humor, but I felt that with the ending a.) directors Stephen Cafiero and Vincent Lobelle didn’t know how to vanquish the villains or b.) they wanted to make a sequel. Whatever their intentions, the ending doesn’t quite work and left too many unanswered questions, even for a horror comedy.

Despite that flaw, I found Vampire Party to be a swinging good time and highly recommend you RSVP for this horror-comedy!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Dunraven Road by Caroline Barnard Smith

I really wasn’t sure what to expect with Dunraven Road, the debut novel from Caroline Barnard Smith. The back cover had a very vague description that didn’t incite my interest too much, and to be honest I just expected it to be another poorly written vampire novel.

On the contrary,I found Dunraven Road to be an engaging, fast-paced story that focused on human characters addicted to a blood-like drug called “red”, featured a vampiric cult and vampires that were both menacing and entrancing. Though the novel features several flaws, overall I found it a worthwhile read and a promising debut from Smith.

Dunraven Road is about a group of friends in a small English town begin experimenting with a strange but alluring drug called red and revere a vampiric deity called Lilitu. When their arrogant leader Zach decides to build a cult around the drug and Lilitu, staging lavish parties in an abandoned church, the friends find themselves in danger of losing themselves to the sweet allure of the red…as well as losing their lives to real vampires that move undetected among the drug-crazed cult.

As Zach drowns himself in red and loses himself in his powerful new role as leader to the drug-addled cult kids and partiers, one of the original group of friends, Sapphire, who is deeply in love with him, realizes she has special psychic powers and has disturbing visions of what the vampires have planned. With the help of Paul, a lovesick artist and several “good” vampires who’ve sworn off drinking blood, can Sapphire stop the invasion of vampires before they slaughter the smorgasbord of red partiers?

Though the book might be construed as a bit generic, filled with scenes of lavish parties, seduction and beautiful vampiric creatures, it is surprisingly very engaging and lures you in with the story Smith spins. The vampires may have some stereotypical attributes (being beautiful, loving blood), but Smith blurs the lines between the vampires and the druggies addicted to red. Instead of the vampires being the humans’ implements for destruction, the humans destroy themselves with the red drug and their own blood-letting rituals. Quite a nice twist, I thought. Also, the book forgoes all the usual nonsense of garlic, stakes, sunlight, mirrors, etc. as ways to deter/kill/identify vampires. Despite their beauty, the vampires in Dunraven Road blended right in with the humans and there were several startling reveals of people actually turning out to be vampiric entities.

As for the human characters who take center stage for most of the book, unfortunately they are a rather unlikable group. Most are hopeless addicts, womanizers, cheaters, thieves, killers or doormats. Also, it takes a while for anyone to be identified as the lead character in the book. Obviously, Sapphire is the main character towards the book’s end, but I wish Smith had spent more time developing her character from the first few pages instead of wasting time describing vamp attacks on the elderly (a plot point that never really goes anywhere and remains underdeveloped) or fawning over Zach’s wicked ways. Zach is talked about so much in the beginning that it appears as if he is the lead character, but after the vampires arrive he is no longer in charge and we see he is just a pawn in their game. And even though Sapphire becomes the heroine, through most of the book she is portrayed as weak and completely at Zach’s beck and call. In fact, most of the female characters in Dunraven Road act as if they are slaves to their male counterparts…even the evil vampire Gwyneth seems to solely rely on her sexual seduction skills and looks to get what she wants. This is disappointing, particularly because the author is a woman and I expected much more strong female characters from her.

Despite the lackluster and unlikable characters, the story itself is nonetheless engaging. I like how the vampires were different and weren’t susceptible to garlic, stakes, etc. I also enjoyed how there were two different vampire lifestyles – those that drank blood and those that abstained (vegan vampires – intriguing!!). There were also several twists and turns throughout the book that kept things interesting. I thought the inclusion of the “red” drug and how it tied back to the vampires was clever and inventive.

The writing style by Smith was clean, crisp and unobtrusive. Without any awkward sentences or clunky paragraphs to trip over, reading Dunraven Road was a breeze. The story was also very quickly paced and genuinely engaging (despite the poorly developed characters) so that you wanted to keep reading. Like the characters, though, there were some parts of the story that could have used a little re-drafting. For example, with the so-called “vamp attacks” going around you would think the authorities in such a small town would notice the wild parties Zach threw in his church or at least the influx of partiers and strange people coming to the town. Yet no mention is ever made of the authorities or any townspeople suspecting anything.

Dunraven Road is a shaky debut for Caroline Barnard Smith. It lacks a likable, focal main character to root for and has several plot holes, but it is also very well-written and engaging. Still, Smith is a promising writer and I look forward to what she does next…as long as she features some strong female characters in her next work!

Dunraven Road is available through Immanion Press.

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Book Review: Anoxic Zone by John G Rees

The term “anoxic zone” refers to “an oxygen-depleted region in a marine environment,” according to Answers.com. In this novel, the anoxic zone in question is in the Black Sea. According to author John R Rees, the anoxic zone “occurs naturally at depths greater than 200 meteres [and] has no oxygen to support life or accelerate decay. This creates a unique environment for the preservation of ancient shipwrecks, as well as modern day detritus.” 

When I first picked up Anoxic Zone I had no idea what the term meant or how it would be used within the context of the novel, but I have to admit I was definitely intrigued. I hadn’t heard about anything like it before so I was eager to dive right in (pardon the pun). Plus, the synopsis offered some supernatural hints as to who, or what, the main characters were. Take a looksie at the description from the back cover and see if you get an inkling as to what they are:

This is the tale of two men, who become service personnel for Megacorp, a multi-national corporation that operates under its own laws. The dark cadre is brought back to life to maintain the infrastructure of a narcissistic, self-involved culture at the end of the industrial age. Chosen for their skills, Jake, a commercial diver, and Johnny, a scientist, have been friends for over one hundred years. Human curiosity and human nature conspire to have our friends discover just what they are; the whys and hows of how they came to be.

In the course of this discovery they release evil that spawned their kind, which had been imprisoned and used by Megacorp in a most despicable manner.

Their adventure takes them from Hawaii to Romania and the Black Sea, as Jake and John struggle to accept what they have become while trying to keep the evil from the hands of Megacorp and return it to the darkness of its birth.

This novel definitely has a lot going on, from Jake and John’s initial discovery of what they are to their escape from Megacorp to encountering their “maker” to plotting how to destroy him. Don’t let the slim tome, coming in at just under 300 pages, fool you -  author Rees has packed a lot of action into this novel! That’s not to say it is convoluted, by any means. The pacing of the story is quick and just keeps drawing you in as you get further and further into the story. I ravenously drank it up!

I also love that author Rees has set the book in a not-too-distant future where people have become lazy and prefer that menial and/or dangerous labor be done by a part of the population called “reusables”…kinda sounds like the current state of things, no? Rees also borrows from several different genres to complete Anoxic Zone, too. There is futuristic sci-fi, a bit of noir, a lot of historical facts, a touch of romance, gore, action and horror…pretty much a little bit of everything!

The locations vary as much as the tone of novel. We start off in Hawaii, then move to the unearthly underwater world, then to the bustling ports of Romania and eventually to the Carpathian mountains…with many other stops in-between! Rees effortlessly captures the atmosphere of each location in the novel and brings them to life. I especially loved the descriptions of the crumbling, centuries-old castle in the most remote region of the Carpathian mountains.

I loved the characterizations of our two lead characters, Jake and John, and their transformations over the years as they embrace what they really are. If you haven’t guessed already by their old age, they are vampires, though I don’t think the word “vampire” is ever mentioned in the book! Megacorp has made them and many others like this, calling them “reusables” and using them for dangerous or life-threatening work. Jake can dive to depths far further than any human ever could and also go without air for longer. John can test out disease, viruses, etc. on himself to see their effects but won’t die from these experiments. Yet, when they both discover their true nature and the true extent of their abilities they attract the attention of a notorious (and historical) Count who spawned their race…and wants revenge on those that have used him. John and Jake go from lowly “reusables” to realizing their power and becoming the pupils of their “master,” until he takes things too far and John and Jake turn against him.

And the “master” himself is quite a force to be reckoned with. Rees draws from a well-known historical figure (the very ruler who inspired Bram Stoker’s Dracula) to create a menacing and scary villain that still elicits awe from the two main characters as well as the reader.

Anoxic Zone is a very unique, nontraditional vampire tale that I couldn’t put down! It is a thrilling, exciting read that tries something new with the tired vampire genre…and succeeds! If you get a chance, I highly recommend picking up John G Rees Anoxic Zone!

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Live Evil (2009)

Vampire flicks are always a staple in the horror genre, though their popularity tends to go through ups and downs. I’ve always dug vampires, and I’m glad to see that their popularity is on the up-and-up at the moment…and no, I’m not referring to the retch-worthy Twatlight. I’m talking about the great indie flick Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1, the wondrous Swedish import Let the Right One In and the addicting TV show True Blood. These films and TV show succeed because they put a different spin on vampire mythology to keep it fresh and interesting without watering it down. So, when I heard about Live Evil, a new independent vampire film that dealt with the issue of vampires starving because humans’ blood was becoming increasingly polluted by chemicals, drugs and other impurities, I was eager to check it out.

In Live Evil, the vampire population is struggling to stay alive after humans have slowly but surely been poisoning their bodies with alcohol, drugs, disease, bad food, polluted air and so on. Vampires can only survive on “pure blood”, so getting a good meal is increasingly hard to find. Additionally, since there is so much competition in the food chain vampires have formed clans or gangs that are fighting amongst themselves.

One such group of vampires, including leader Benedict (Mark Hengst), his girlfriend Sydney (Osa Wallander), wig-wearing Baxter (Gregory Lee Kenyon) and feisty Yeal (Eva Derrek), is fighting its way west to Los Angeles to hopefully find some pure blood and hole up with their friend Max (Ken Foree) in Hollywood for a while. Unfortunately for them, a cowboy hat-wearing, samuri-sword wielding, vamp-hunting priest (Tim Thomerson) is hot on their trail. It seems a past incident has left The Priest at odds with these particular bloodsuckers and he aims to wipe every last one of them out.

I wouldn’t call Live Evil one of the best vampire flicks I’ve ever seen, but it does a pretty serviceable job. I especially liked the unique idea of tainted blood that writers Lance Polland and Jay Woelfel came up with. If you think about it, what vamp would want to drink our blood with all the chemicals and pollutants going into our bodies? Also, the story was treated with just enough seriousness but it did have its moments of fun silliness (vampire babies, anyone?) plus some great one-liners (“Goddamn vampire babies…they’re the worst”). Most of the film played it straight, though, and took its time to build its own vampire mythos (for example, most of them can go out into the sunlight).

The only part of the writing I didn’t particularly like was the development of the characters. I guess we are supposed to be rooting for The Priest the entire time, but I found him too blah, even though the writers tried to give him a backstory about his vampiric encounter as a kid. Yet, I didn’t feel any sympathy for him and kept cheering on for the vampires to off the decrepit old dude…sadly, that didn’t happen. I also would have liked to learn more about the individual vampires’ pasts and would have liked to have seen the female vamps with more personality. It feels like most of the girls in the film were put there for just T&A, which is a pretty sad thing in this day and age.

As for the acting, it was a bit shaky at times but you could tell the cast had a blast with the film. I really enjoyed the strong performance Mark Hengst gave as the lead vampire, Benedict. The actor who stole the show, though, was Kimberly Sanders as The Priest’s sidekick, Roxy, whom he picks up in a bar and forces at gunpoint to drive him around, chasing after the vamps. Roxy was a spitfire and reminded me a lot of Tara (Rutina Wesley) from True Blood! The film also features tons of cameos from familiar faces in the horror industry, including Tiffany Shepis and Ken Foree! Keep your eyes peeling during a party scene, because you’ll see lots of regulars from within the horror community!

As for the special effects, this low budget film really impressed me! It has several car chases and car crashes that you usually don’t see in a production this small! Yet, they were impeccably filmed and looked absolutely stellar! Live Evil also features lots of gory moments, but one of the best is towards the beginning of the film when a vamps head is decapitated! Sure, the effects tend to look a bit low budget, but I appreciate the fact that they are all practical and not CGI…plus, they look pretty cool! There are also scenes that are bathed in blood, sure to satisfy your inner Bathory.

Live Evil is a solid indie undertaking with a new twist on the vampire story. While it has its flaws, its interesting twist on “tainted blood” ultimately won me over. It comes out in limited release September 18^th and then on DVD and Video-on-Demand on November 3rd, so get ready to sink your teeth into this vampire tale!

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The Insatiable (2007)

Bumbling Harry Balbo (Sean Patrick Flanery) is a pretty big loser. He dresses like the nerds you picked on in high school, doesn’t have a gratifying job, gets bullied at work, doesn’t have a girlfriend and doesn’t have any friends except for a clerk at a convenience store.Yet, when Harry witnesses a beautiful vampire ripping the head off of one of her victims, his life gets a bit more interesting.

When the police don’t believe his vampire story, he becomes obsessed with catching the vampire and stopping her gruesome killing. After getting scratched by the vampire, Harry turns to a vampire site to get some answers and discovers the site’s paraplegic administrator (Michael Biehn) actually lives in his building. The two hatch a plan to stake the vamp, but when Harry has his opportunity he turns into a big softie and lets the vamp live. He then lures her to his basement, where he has built a steel cage, and traps her inside. He then begins to build a strange relationship with the vampire, named Tatiana (Charlotte Ayanna), bringing her bunnies to drain. Tatiana soon becomes insatiable, though, and Harry must decide who to sacrifice next for her needs…

The Insatiable is a quirky, different kind of vampire film. It doesn’t rely on glamorizing vampires and making them “hip”, instead focusing on their seductively feral nature. Plus, the film spends most of its time on Harry instead of Tatiana. Even though Harry is pretty much a dweeb, I still found myself rooting for the guy. Writers Cary Solomon, Chuck Konzelman (both co-directing) and J.R. McGarrity did a great job arousing sympathy for the awkward Harry. I really hoped that all those that wronged them got their just desserts!

Speaking of Harry, Sean Patrick Flanery put on a very memorable performance! I loved all the odd twitches and forced interactions he had with people! I never though I would see Sean Patrick Flanery in the role of a weakling who is always picked on, but he totally nailed his role and made it believable. His performance and character were the best things about the film! Also, Charlotte Ayanna as the vamp Tatiana was equally wonderful as well, carefully balancing her predatory seductiveness with an innocent sweetness.

The film had its slow moments, but overall it was well-paced. It’s more of a dark comedy than straight-up horror flick, so don’t go into it expecting a lot of gore or bloodshed. One guy gets his throat ripped out, another gets an arm ripped off and there are lots of bloody aftermaths, but it definitely keeps any violence on the light side. There are also lots of quirky, humorous scenes that keep the film pretty breezy.

The direction by Cary Solomon and Chuck Konzelman was pretty solid; the only things I had complaints about were some shoddy CGI shots, but those are easily overlooked in sight the rest of the film. The film probably had a small budget, but besides the bad CGI you really won’t be able to tell. Everything looks crisp, clean and glossed to a professional sheen. Kudos to Solomon and Konzelman for sticking within their means!

The Insatiable is a pretty fun, eccentric vampire film. It’s definitely different than your typical glossy Hollywood vampire picture and is populated by an odd smattering of characters that’ll hold your attention until the very satisfying ending. Many haven’t heard of The Insatiable, but more people should definitely take a bite out of this vampire movie!

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I Sell the Dead (2009)

I have always loved the evocative atmosphere of old horror films. You know the ones – they always seem to feature fog-shrouded cemeteries, an ominous score, stark trees silhouetted against an October moon and just a deliciously macabre feel to them. So when I heard about I Sell the Dead, a film that promised the same kind of spooky atmosphere combined with a morbid buddy comedy, I was definitely eager to see it.

The tongue-in-cheek horror comedy definitely lived up to my expectations, even surpassing them at times. Not only is the romantically macabre atmosphere of old horror films perfectly captured, but the story is gleefully unique with a good heaping of gallows humor thrown in for good measure!

The film is told in flashback form, but opens in the present 1800’s Ireland with convicted grave robber Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) meeting an unkindly end at the guillotine. His partner, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), is awaiting a similar fate when he is visited by Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), a rather odd priest who seems to take unusual delight in hearing all about Blake and Grime’s misdeeds. For five hours before his scheduled execution, Blake recounts how he fell into the corpse snatching business with Grimes, their ghoulish client Dr. Vernon Quint (Angus Scrimm) who always needed fresh corpses for his mysterious experiments, the many unusual “undead” things he and Grimes were paid to dig up and their unfortunate run-ins with the House of Murphy, a rival grave robbing gang.

I Sell the Dead is no doubt one of the best horror films I’ve seen all year! I really think 19^th century Ireland, with its bawdy bars, decrepit old cemeteries, moon-lit back alleys, desolated moors and strange isles populated by the undead, was the perfect setting for the film. It definitely captured that old Hammer horror atmosphere, giving the film a nostalgic feel. What’s even more amazing is because of a small budget the movie was filmed in New York! When there wasn’t enough money to construct elaborate sets, existing locations were used (such as for the pub used in the film) and backgrounds and such were added in by computer effects and mixed art media like photography, painting and illustration. Yet, when you watch the film, it is absolutely seamless!

Besides the nostalgic look of the film, the story, written by Glenn McQuaid (who also directed) is also absolutely delightful. As I watched the story unfold, I was just as gleeful as a kid on Christmas morning! When was the last time you saw a film that made you want to crow its praises from rooftops? Besides the fact that the story keeps popping up with surprises as to what Grimes and Blake would dig up next, the whole repartee between Grimes and Blake reminded me of Abbott and Costello-style shenanigans. There is some slapstick, but most of it is witty banter. Even the dialogue between other characters, especially Blake and Father Duffy, is very playful. The whole story has this irreverent, imaginative feel to it, but it is not without its moments of horror. Though the undead they encounter are more cartoonish than serious, there are several nice jolts throughout the film. I especially enjoyed a discovery of a vampire, though the two main characters had no idea what they had dug up and proceeded to remove the garlic around the undead’s neck as well as removing a stake through her heart. As a result, hilarity and horror ensues. Even the addition of the not-undead-but-still-damn-scary House of Murphy gang was pleasurable and added another dimension to an already colorful film!

The characters are fancifully drawn, with even the lesser characters being fully fleshed out. Besides the main characters of Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) and Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), I loved the menacing members of the House of Murphy, including Cornelius Murphy (John Speredakos) with his grim childhood at the hands of the cruel Murphy senior, Valentine Kelly (Heather Bullock) whose face was so disfigured by a fire that she now wears a blank, white mask that she only removes when she is about to kill someone and Bulger (Alisdair Stewart) whose toothy maw is full of razor-sharp dog teeth. Then, of course, is the sinister Dr. Quint (Angus Scrimm), who keeps demanding more and more bodies from Grimes and Blake and corpulent barkeep Ronnie (Joel Garland), among the many memorable faces! Plus, all of the actors delivered stellar performances. I have to make special mention of Daniel Manche, who played the young Arthur Blake! Hats off to the rest of the excellent cast, including a rather gleeful performance from the “Tall Man” himself, Angus Scrimm!

I really cannot speak highly enough of I Sell the Dead. It is a whimsically macabre film that will delight and entertain all horror fans. So far, I Sell the Dead is one of my favorite films from 2009!

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Book Review: Eternal Vigilance 2 - The Death of Illusions by Gabrielle Faust

In Gabrielle Faust’s second installment of her cybergoth vampire series Eternal Vigilance, she builds upon main vampire-savior Tynan’s story and the plight of the world as the evil Tyst organization prepares to usher a horrifying vampire god named the Vicinus into the world. Tynan must battle against and defeat the Tyst’s advanced technology as well as facing the Vicinus in its own realm before it is birthed by the Tyst’s Queen and unleashed upon the world to wreak chaos and destruction.

Tynan must also deal with the weight that being the savior of the world places on his shoulders and taking orders from his Immortal Elders as well as the rebel leaders of the Phuree. He also wonders at the relationship between himself and the Tyst Queen Moria, whom he rescued from the Tyst fortress when he was just supposed to end her life and that of the Vicinus inside her.

As the time quickly approaches for the Vicinus to tear into this world, can Tynan defeat the vampire god that was responsible for creating his kind before the world is lost to chaos?

As with her first Eternal Vigilance novel, Faust has woven a gorgeously gothic tapestry that glimmers with pieces of cyberpunk placed into the fabric of the story. This mix of old and new, crumbling and glittering, creates a very exciting backdrop to the story. It really does feel like a whole new world, from the underground tunnels where hackers live to evade the Tyst’s advanced tracking systems to an old cave that used to be a tourist destination where Tynan hides Moria to the castle the Immortals reside in to the Tyst fortress.

I also enjoyed how Faust could now put more action and battles into this book. As the previous book established all the characters, the second book is all about fighting the Tyst and the Vicinus instead of just planning for these battles. Though more time is committed to these exciting battles, Faust still manages to keep her characterizations strong. Of course we get to see reoccurring characters from the first novel, but we are also introduced to a few new characters, including Queen Moria. Faust continues to make things interesting by complicating the relationship between Tynan and Moria and throwing some twists and turns to other relationships within the novel. There are quite a few surprises in Eternal Vigilance 2: The Death of Illusions!

Faust continues to use an elegant, almost elevated, way of speaking that we saw in the first book. There are times when this penchant for the dramatic becomes overly pretentious, but this captures the formal way of speaking that Tynan is used to and really helps to show us his character.

My only real complaint was with a few misspelled words, especially the incorrect use of the word “until.” In the novel it is spelled “till,” instead of the correct way of ” ’til.” This misspelling is a big pet peeve of mine (almost as bad as spelling “grisly” like “grizzly” – god, that annoys me!), so it stuck out a lot and detracted from my overall enjoyment of the novel.

Nonetheless, Eternal Vigilance 2: The Death of Illusions is a wonderful addition to the Eternal Vigilance series. The characters are so likable and intriguing that I just can’t wait until the next in the series to see what happens to them all!

Screw Twilight! Eternal Vigilance is the vampire series everyone should be reading!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: When Darkness Falls by Chris Morrow

Chris Morrow’s When Darkness Falls is a thrilling, suspenseful short story that really makes me eager to check out more of Morrow’s writing. Set in the remote Ozarks, it tells a different vampire tale than most of us are used to. Instead of a “Dracula’s castle” type of creepy location, the setting of the Ozark wilderness is used, giving the story a different and more terrifying flavor.

Marty is having one last fling with his buddies before getting married and they have planned to spend a weekend camping in the Ozarks. The guys run into a group of sorority girls who are staying at the same campsite. After a day of canoeing and drinking, everyone gathers around the campfire at dusk…but when darkness falls some other campers arrive, including a creepy old man and his entourage of seductive “models” that can’t wait to sink their teeth into those gathered.

When Darkness Falls is a superbly crafted short story sure to delight genre fans. It begins with a hint of foreboding before jumping into the seemingly idyllic camping story. Morrow puts us at ease for the first part of the story, focusing on the fun the characters are having. When certain characters show up at sundown, though, the light-hearted mood suddenly turns somber and the tension mounts. The last half of the story is filled with fear, dread and plenty of suspense.

Despite the fact that is a very quick read, Morrow takes the time to develop his characters and offers us glimpses into their past as well as what they hope for the future. He makes each of the characters very realistic and so that they are easy to relate to. His descriptions of the surroundings bring the book to life and make us feel like we are there in the middle of everything. And yet he doesn’t over-explain, instead weaving descriptions into the story like he is painting a picture.

I also liked how the story stayed away from the typical vampire demises of crosses, garlic or stakes and instead went for something that doesn’t get mentioned in a lot of modern vampire books or films – running water. You see, ancient vampire lore states that vampires cannot cross running water because it was seen as pure, holy and able to wash away all magic. I thought the use of this little-known/little-used fact was quite inventive and made the story much more interesting than had it stuck to conventional vampire repellents.

When Darkness Falls is a strong, suspenseful story that makes me eager to see what Chris Morrow does in the future…

Available from Amazon!