Mirror Mirror (1990)

Mirror Mirror is pretty unknown to most horror fans, but it’s a pretty decent flick nonetheless and boasts stars like Karen Black and Yvonne De Carlo among its cast! I had heard that it was along the lines of Carrie and The Fury, so I decided to give it a try, especially since the lead character is considered a “goth” (I did a piece on goths in horror films over at my personal blog if you feel like taking a look).

Mirror Mirror tells the tale of gothy Megan (Rainbow Harvest), who moves from L.A. to a small town with her mom (Karen Black) after her father’s death. Megan finds an old mirror in her room and insists on keeping it, even though it’s a creepy old thing. She then starts school but runs into the usual gaggle of cheerleaders and jocks who don’t appreciate her funerary attire. She makes friends with good girl Nikki, but the popular kids still make Megan’s life a living hell. Soon, Megan discovers that the mirror gives her powers and she can make things happen to those that ridicule her. Pretty soon her enemies are dying left and right and the mirror’s powers become too powerful for Megan to control. Can Nikki save Megan from the dark side and whatever lives on the other side of the mirror?

Mirror Mirror might share some similarities with Carrie (shy outsider, weird mom, psychic powers, a friend who tries to save the lead, etc.), but it stands on its own quite well. I really enjoyed all the characters and the story; they still felt unique even though they were obviously influenced by other films. Megan was a fun character, though I initially thought she would have more backbone and actually stand up to the annoying popular kids rather than running away and hiding from them. Gotta love her goth look, which looks heavily influenced by Beetlejuice’s Lydia (it doesn’t help that Rainbow Harvest looks a lot like Winona Ryder). I also loved the over-the-top performance by Karen Black as Megan’s unstable mother (good god, that pastel pink lipstick has GOT to go!) and seeing Yvonne De Carlo as an estate dealer who tries to help Megan once she learns the truth of the evil mirror.

Plus, there is quite a high body count, and while the deaths aren’t necessarily gory or bloody, most of them are still pretty neat. Standouts include the shower scalding scene and a garbage disposal death! There are several bloody scenes, including a gushing nose bleed scene and the mirror itself, which regularly oozes blood.

Director Marina Sargenti uses an interesting blue palette for most of the film and sets up varying POV shots that keep the viewer engaged. I especially liked the POV shots of the demon behind the mirror looking out at all those that approached it. The screenplay, written by Annette Cascone and Gina Cascone, also deserves props, especially for its twist ending!

Mirror Mirror is an interesting flick that deserves to be seen by more people. It certainly wears its influences on its sleeve, but it still manages to be intriguing in its own special way. If you are looking for an early ’90s gem, check out Mirror Mirror!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: The End of Church Street by Gregory L. Hall

A group of homeless goth kids who run the back alleys of Orlando, Florida are being targeted by a vampire slayer who thinks they are real creatures of the night. Though the kids like to wear fake fangs and don black capes to terrorize the tourists, they are pretty much harmless and the only people to bother them are the bored cops. Now, Vampire King and Queen Adam and Lucy must protect their brood of runaways from a real threat that is staking and decapitating members. Everyone is a suspect, from a detective called Duncan to the kids’ strange butler Renfield and even some of the kids themselves. Can they catch the deranged Van Helsing-wannabe before it’s too late?

Gregory L. Hall’s The End of Church Street is a fast-paced, fun read that offers up plenty of interesting characters, from the level-headed Adam to the sensual Lucy to innocent newbie Lilith to hothead Timmy. Each character has a varied past and Hall takes the time to develop all the characters so they each have distinctive personalities and pasts, making us care about every single one. I also like how they weren’t just stereotypical cut-outs of either homeless runaways or vampire freaks, but were really varied in appearance and personality. Hall did an excellent job giving each and every one of the characters emotional depth to ensure they really resonated with the reader. I was really cheering for the kids to elude the killer!

As for the killer, I enjoyed how Hall kept the reader on his or her toes the whole way, and gave us plenty of red herrings! I was positive I knew who the killer was, but the reveal completely surprised me! Kudos to Hall for actually creating a solid mystery that was suspenseful and surprising. The book kept me guessing and therefore kept me interested!

I also enjoyed the theatrical settings of the old theatre where the vampire kids live and the local haunt where Adam works. Both locations really added to the atmosphere of the book. Besides those two spooky locations, the foreboding dark alleys also added much to the setting. Shadowy encounters in the alleys really made my hair stand on end!

The only thing I didn’t quite like about the book is that sometimes its characters have a tendency to fall into melodramatics. I suppose that since they are teens they are predisposed for drama, especially since most of them are goths, but sometimes they go a bit too far and the book starts to focus more on the tangled relationships between characters rather than the horror at hand. This occurs a couple times, but thankfully doesn’t detract too much from my overall enjoyment of the novel.

Despite this small complaint, overall The End of Church Street is a solid horror novel that kept me enthralled in its spell. It’s a perfect quick read that will keep you glued to its pages and has several twists and turns that are sure to surprise you!

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Witchouse (1999)

Full Moon Pictures’ films are always hit and miss (mostly miss, at least for me), so I had pretty low expectations for Witchouse. Like most Full Moon Pictures’ movies, it is low-budget, has no-name actors (except for Ariauna Albright and an ex-Red Power Ranger!) and has a plot that sounds ripped off from Night of the Demons. However, I adore Night of the Demons, so I can’t deny that there was a part of me really hoping that Witchouse was a hidden horror gem.

Well, Witchouse wasn’t the gem I wished for, but it still wasn’t THAT bad.

The plot is awfully familiar: gothy outcast invites kids who have wronged her to a party at an isolated, creepy house, conjures a demon to get revenge and pretty soon everyone is popping up as scrunchy-faced demons.

You are probably thinking you’ve seen this all before in better movies (which is exactly what I thought when the film started) because Witchouse is pretty much a lower budget version of Night of the Demons. It has some pretty bad acting and silly effects, but despite these flaws, it still manages to have that Full Moon charm!

Take the first killing: a couple is first to arrive at the creepy house and head down to the basement for some quality “bow-chikka-bow-wow” time. However, they are not alone in the basement and a silhouetted shape seems to glide over to them, eyes glowing green, before they are both impaled. The green glowing eyes completely sold this scene for me, despite the fact that it never happens or is referenced again in the movie! I also thought a scene where a potential victim uses a silver plate to reflect some bolts of electricity being hurled by a demon was pretty cool. The effects were certainly cheesy, but they reminded me of old-school horror movies, which gave me the warm fuzzies! Both of these scenes could be described as “bad” and/or “corny” by most movie viewers, but I found them oddly endearing. Charming scenes like this make this otherwise derivative movie worthwhile!

While director David DeCoteau is known for parading around male flesh, Witchouse is remarkable restrained in this respect. The few pecs he does put on display are amazingly refined, though, and there are a few instances of men running around in their tighty-whities (both which I enjoyed!). There is also restraint when it comes to gore, as most deaths occur off screen and the focus is more on the special makeup FX of the demons. They look okay, but nothing too special.

The story, by Matthew Jason Walsh, is pretty generic as discussed earlier. The characters and dialogue are both pretty bland, but one stoner couple is pretty hilarious AND the girl totally kicks a demon’s ass. It’s pretty sweet when she just cold clocks the demon and it goes tumbling backwards into a room. However, the rest of the characters are all pretty interchangeable and forgettable, so there’s not really anyone to root for.

Still, Witchouse has its moments despite its many flaws! If you enjoy cheesy, corny B-movies from Full Moon Pictures you should definitely check this out. Just keep your expectations low, drink a few beers and enjoy this Night of the Demons-lite movie!

Available from Amazon!

Sweatshop (2009)

The anemic state of Hollywood “horror” is distressing for hardcore fans, but don’t fret, dear readers, for I have the cure! This remedy to all that is stale and trite with mainstream horror might take a little digging on your part, but the results are incredible! No more watered down gore, no more clichéd and boring characters, no more rehashed, reimaged or re-whatever ideas and no more disappointment! This cure that I speak of, my fiends, is to simply ignore the latest sad attempt that passes for horror at the local Cineplex and to look upon your savior, independent horror! I’ve said it a million times before and I’ll keep on repeating it; indie horror is where it’s at!

A perfect example of this would be today’s indie horror splattacular, Sweatshop. Written by Ted Geoghegan and Stacy Davidson and directed by Davidson, Sweatshop is every horror fan’s dream (or nightmare, if you prefer) come true! Though its storyline follows a mostly basic slasher formula (with a few kinks thrown in, of course!), the engaging script, fast pacing, excellent acting, stunning sets, gorgeous cinematography AND out-of-this-world brutality make it more enjoyable than 95% of the so-called “horror” big studios are churning out these days.

The film starts with a bunch of hot goths and punks descending upon an abandoned warehouse to set the stage for what promises to be a wild evening. The decrepit and musty space is slowly turned into a decadent goth discotheque, complete with flashing lights, fog and wicked cool beats.

Yet, the “wild evening” takes a decidedly brutal turn as they realize that they’ve invaded the lair of a hulking killer called “The Beast” and his two vicious minions. One by one, the would-be partiers succumb to some brutal deaths at the hands of “The Beast”.

As mentioned before, one need only look to independent horror productions for their chills and thrills, because Sweatshop delivers both (and more) in blood-red spades! Writers Geoghegan and Davidson intended Sweatshop to be a sort of ‘80s throwback and an homage to the slashers of yore that most of us grew up on, but while it sticks to the familiar slasher formula the film has its own unique vision and never feels like its treading on sacred ground. Sure, it has the standard clichés of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll that act as a prelude to the nasty killings, but Sweatshop stands apart from the usual hack and slash movies by taking the time to actually develop its characters. They all had complex relationships, pasts and secrets with each other, making the film even more intriguing to watch. Plus, these are the kind of cool characters you’d want to hang out with! The dialogue is also witty, humorous and realistic, making it fun to watch the characters interacting.

Sweatshop has a pretty big cast and, surprisingly for an indie flick, it is made up of very talented actors. I loved the larger-than-life characters, including good ol’ boy Wade, played to sleazy perfection by Brent Himes, Wade’s horny punk brother Scottyboy, played by the gorgeous Peyton Wetzel, and the adorably perky Miko, played by the entrancing Julin. My favorite performance, though, has to be Jeremy Sumrall, who played “The Beast”. He wears a welding mask and we never see his face, so all his emotions were conveyed through body language…an amazing feat for an actor! But Sumrall played it perfectly, even infusing some regret and lament into “The Beast’s” rage-fueled kills. Yet, I must stress again that ALL of the actors did an amazing job and if I had the space I would mention each and every one of their names!

I really loved the look of the film as well. Co-writer and director Davidson also served as director of photography and his shots certainly pop! The colorful use of club lighting combined with the dark shadows of the derelict warehouse created some truly awesome shots. This is one film that I could tell from the very first shot that its cinematography would truly set it apart from other low-budget productions. Right away you could tell that Davidson and his crew knew exactly what they were doing! The film itself looks like it had a much higher budget, especially since all of the scenes are crisp, clear, well-lit, atmospheric and professional. Yet, Sweatshop still has that gritty, grimy quality that is so important to its storyline!

Also adding to the atmosphere was the spectacular score and soundtrack! Dwayne Cathey handled the evocative score of the film, while goth, EBM and industrial bands like Combichrist and Genitorturers provided the soundtrack. The result is absolute perfection as the dissonant score sets you up for the kills while the soundtrack perfectly captures the party-like mood.

And, then, of course, we have the gore. And such gore it is!! This film may have been made on a low budget, but you never could have guessed that from the stellar special effects it features! From a jaw-dropping scene where “The Beast” pulls the lower jaw from a poor screaming girl’s face to his brutal smashing and bashing of legs, heads, torsos, etc. with his humungous sledgehammer weapon he’s created from metal pipes and an anvil block (seriously, it must be seen to be believed!), I’d say the grue here would delight even the hardiest and most seasoned gorehounds!

Then there are “The Beast’s” minions, two disturbing creatures that are bloody, veiny and haven’t seen the sun in quite some time. The backstory on them and “The Beast” is never explained, but I was so awestruck by the sheer brutality of the kills that where they came from and how they came to be such vicious killers didn’t end up mattering much and this “not knowing” added to the scare factor. As for the ending, well, it’s a sight to behold! Remember how the main protagonists were setting up for a party? Well, their guests eventually arrive…just in time to be mashed to bits by “The Beast”! Hearty acclaim must go to the special and visual effects departments, because they did an amazing job with such a small budget and created some truly mind-blowing and extreme kills!

Sweatshop and independent movies of its ilk are the answer for those seeking solace from the soul-sucking productions big studios keep forcing down the throats of those hungry for horror. Even if Hollywood was producing decent genre films, Sweatshop would still be a cut above the rest. Sweatshop is a relentless, entertaining and downright FUN horror film that defies expectations and will undoubtedly be my choice for one of the best horror films of the year!

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Gothkill (2009)

It always seems that horror movies featuring Goths almost always get them wrong to make it almost embarrassing to watch. I mean, not all Goths sit around moping and cutting themselves, thank you very much! Even worse is when Goths are used as a punchline than more as an actual character. Luckily, Gothkill, an entertaining horror comedy, doesn’t fall into either trap, but instead pokes fun at the Goth community as a whole…with a humor that both Goths and “normals” can appreciate!

Centuries ago, Nicholas Dread (fire breathing performance artist Flambeaux) was burned at the stake after daring to stick up for accused witches against his church superiors. Then and there Dread made a pact with the Devil…once he had collected 100,000 corrupt souls on Earth, he would be able to rule his own kingdom in Hell.

Century after century Dread roamed the Earth slaughtering sinners, getting ever closer and closer to his goal of 100,000 collected souls. In present day, authorities eventually catch up to him after he slaughters a group of his followers and he is executed. He was supposed to be raised again by his high priestess to collect just a few more souls, but she was killed and the incantation to bring him back fell into the wrong, bumbling hands…

Meanwhile, Kate (Eve Blackwater) and Annie (Erica Giovinazzo) are two naive college kids looking for a good time. They are invited to the exclusive Goth club Scorpion Society, where elite Goths dress in their finest leather and PVC to party and get spanked. The two girls are drugged and a ritual is performed to induct them into the Society, but the Society’s clueless leader conjures up Dread himself, who possesses Annie’s body and decides that the Society is ripe with rotten souls ready to be reaped…

Can a group of Goths and wannabes hold their own against true evil? Or will they all be joining Dread in Hell?

Gothkill is a rollicking good time and offers plenty of blood, boobs and bondage for the Goth in all of us…

First off, the story, written by JJ Connelly (who also directed), is well-constructed and doesn’t leave any gaping plot holes, which is often the case with lower-budget pictures. Obvious time was taken to properly develop the story and the characters it contains. I loved the backstory of Dread and how we actually got to see him in the past. His character development to the story was very important, and Connelly excelled at this. The other main characters, Kate and Annie, where well-rounded out as well.

The acting from the main characters was amazing, with Flambeaux as Dread being the absolute standout. His performance was enjoyably over-the-top and he commands your attention with every frame he occupies. Any other actor might have played the part too over-the-top, but Flambeaux reigns it in just enough so his performance doesn’t deteriorate into parody. I also loved his dialogue and how it was delivered (“You people want to see something evil? I’ll show you fucking evil!”). The other actors did quite well, too. Erica Giovinazzo was fantastic as both innocent Annie and possessed Annie. Even Mistress Juliya from FUSE makes a memorable appearance as one of Dread’s demon minions.

The dark humor in the film pokes fun at “individualistic” Goths, who all pretty much dress/act the same. While the Goth community is one I most closely relate to, I think it’s silly how individuality is admired…but only if you conform to the “Goth” way of dressing/acting/etc (I’ll admit that I have a tendency to fall into this trap as well). Gothkill does a good job of poking fun at this and other Goth conventions that both Goths and “normies” can both relate to and chuckle at.

I also loved the overall look of the Scorpion Society. It’s a dank and dark club where even I would feel at home. The art direction, by Kirk Larsen, merits mention because of the importance of ambiance and atmosphere in the Goth club setting of the film. Everything from the patrons’ black leather outfits to the dim lighting to the industrial-style DJ booth looked authentic and nothing seemed out of place. Kudos to Larsen for creating such a realistic setting that at the same time set the sinister mood of the film. I also must mention the kick-ass music as well that helped create a gothic/industrial club atmosphere; lots of bumping EBM and industrial tracks here!

The gore here is pretty dang impressive, especially towards the end when Annie/Dread goes on a rampage through the club with a very large, wicked-looking blade. People are slaughtered left and right, with bright arterial sprays of blood splattering everywhere. One death scene in particular, where an unlucky guys gets a knife shoved through his skull and out his mouth, was particularly well-done and memorable!

Gothkill is a short 75 minute film, but it is so enjoyable that the only fault I could find is that it wasn’t longer! You won’t want to miss this exploitative piece of genre cinema!

Available from Amazon!

The Vampire Diaries Part 1: Thicker Than Water (2008)

Twin sisters Lara (Eilis Cahill) and Helen (Devon Bailey) Baxter couldn’t be more different. Lara is a black-haired goth who has a shrine to Anne Rice in her candle-lit room and enjoys solitary walks in the cemetery while blonde Helen is in the church choir and is one of the most popular girls at school. They live with their religious mother (Jo Jo Hristova) and older brother Raymond (Michael Strelow), who is studying to be a doctor. One day, Helen suddenly dies after losing a lot of blood due to a nosebleed. After examining her blood, Raymond concludes that she was suffering from a rare blood disorder, one that isn’t listed in any medical book. Later that night, a bloodied Helen comes back, saying she drank the blood of the morticians…yup, sis is now a vampire. The family decides to protect her, which also means they must feed her, no matter what the cost…

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this low-budget vampire tale, but I wasn’t expecting to be so impressed! It seems that vampire movies have been making a comeback lately, and not just the tween fluff like Twilight. This new breed of vampire flicks, like Let the Right One In, take preconceived notions of vampirism and play with their conventions. The Vampire Diaries Part 1: Thicker Than Water is one of those vampire movies and one of the best low-budget ones I’ve seen in quite some time! I’m definitely looking forward to future volumes.

First of all, it starts like a quirky family drama, introducing us to the very different characters. While Lara acts as a kind of narrator and main character for the film, equal screen time is given to all of the characters within the Baxter family. Both Lara and Helen are well-developed, but surprisingly time is also taken to develop the characters of the mother and brother. All of the characters’ personalities and interactions with each other really bring the film to life and make you care about what happens to them. What horror-lover wouldn’t adore the character of Lara, with her Anne Rice shrine, cool, candle-lit room and obsession with death? Or the quirky character of Ray, whose room looks like a sterile, white-washed doctor’s office? In fact, the first 30 minutes or so when we are learning about all the characters and exploring their environment really feels like more of a Wes Anderson movie (along the lines of The Royal Tenenbaums) than anything else. I even enjoyed the campy New Orleans vampire that comes a’knocking later in the film, looking as if he was directly lifted from an Anne Rice novel! Though he felt a bit out of place, I’m betting future films in the series explain his character and introduce other vampire characters as well. All of these characters show that writer/director Phil Messerer really knows how to develop and connect his characters with the audience without sacrificing the pacing of the film.

Speaking of pacing, the film glides along at a near-perfect speed, something that is quite rare for an indie flick. We relate to the characters because of the development invested in them and after that connection you just can’t take your eyes off the screen. The writing, by Messerer, feels natural and has more heart and soul than most horror films. He really takes the time to not just make it another ho-hum horror film, but to invest some real emotion into the plot. So, along with the horror aspect of it, there are also moments of drama and comedy. I also enjoyed how Messerer beefed up the mythology of the film by interweaving the story of the first vampire, Oya, into the plot. This new mythology (and the beautiful accompanying paintings, by artist Rostislav Spitkovsky) really adds more depth to the film and takes a new approach as to where vampires come from and how they are created.

Besides the excellent writing, the acting is also stellar! Devon Bailey as Helen goes from a sweet sugar-and-spice 16-year-old to an uncontrollable and ferocious vampire – and we believe every second! She makes us feel both sympathetic and disgusted by her character, who covers the walls of the basement with the blood of her victims. Her character also requires a lot physically from Bailey, but nonetheless she delivers a stunning, provocative performance. Eilis Cahill as Lara is also excellent. Her character pretends to be sarcastic and cynical, but underneath it all she still loves her sister and would do anything for her. Cahill does an amazing job of letting her vulnerability peek out from beneath her hard exterior and is really a joy to watch in her role. Michael Strelow brings Raymond to life and really makes it scary watching his transformation from quiet and mild-mannered to an accomplice who brings men home for his sister to kill and later hacks up the bodies to get rid of them. Finally, Jo Jo Hristova as the mother really brings all of the characters together and makes it feel like a real family. Plus, her conflict over her religion and her love for her daughter really makes for some great drama.

Thicker Than Water also features some impressive special FX. The basement lair of Helen is coated in bright, sticky blood that drips from the walls. Helen’s special FX makeup is also impressive – she cries blood tears and is a pale, almost luminescent white after turning into a vampire. When she doesn’t feed her skin takes on a mottled, bruised and rotted appearance. The special FX were done by Randall Leddy and they are amazing, especially considering the low budget. Throats get torn out, a guy’s face gets cut off and there is blood constantly coating the walls of the Baxter home and pouring out of people’s necks! Kudos to Leddy and anyone else involved with the makeup and special FX because they look very realistic and professional.

As if I haven’t rambled on enough about praise for this film, the direction by Phil Messerer is also very professionally done. There are some great shots in the film, including one where a strange visitor to the Baxter home is shown silhouetted against some nighttime fog and another where Lara is traipsing through the snow-covered cemetery. Beautiful shots like this as well as the solid direction just add more allure to the film. It’s hard to believe that the film is Messerer’s first!

Truly my only real complaint with the film was the overuse of the background piano music. I feel that some scenes would have benefited more had they been shown in silence. It seemed that the piano music was playing constantly in the background and after a while this started to overpower everything (even though it was beautifully played). On the upside, the other music, ranging from rock music to slow ballads, used on the soundtrack was impressive and used more judiciously.

The Vampire Diaries Part 1: Thicker Than Water is a very impressive first volume in what I hope turns into a trilogy of vampire films. The well-rounded storyline, drawing elements from horror, family drama and comedy, the quirky characters and the awesome special FX really make this film something very special. Phil Messerer has created a unique vampire film, one that avoids the usual genre conventions of just using “boobs and blood,” and it has turned out to be one of the most memorable independent films I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait for the next volume!

Buy it on Amazon!

Quench (2007)

Brimming with angst and a heavy, somber tone, Quench tells the tale of Derik (Bo Barrett), who hitchhikes to Indiana after an unspecified tragedy in his life to see his best friend Jason (Ben Schmitt). Though he hasn’t spoken to his friend in three years, Derik is expecting some sort of comfort and deep understanding from Jason. Problem is, Jason is a changed man, both in the way he dresses and the way he acts. He belongs to a close-knit group called “the family” that he excludes Derik from and doesn’t have time to spend with his old friend. Derik eventually comes to the conclusion that Jason is hiding something from him. After puttering around Jason and his girlfriend Veronica’s (Samantha Eileen DeTurk) house for a few weeks, Derik finally becomes fed up and leaves…but he runs into one of Jason and Veronica’s friends, Gina (Mia Moretti) who’s just as lonely and lost as he is. She convinces him to join their “family,” but Derik has his own secrets to hide.

Quench has a lot going for it and just as many things against it, but I must warn readers that this isn’t a straightforward horror movie. It’s more of a slow-burning character study of a man who has lost everything…but has much more to lose. Though it does feature some nudity and blood, most mainstream horror fans will be turned off by the slow, brooding pace of this low-budget flick.

The production values themselves are stunning, especially with such a low budget (reportedly in the $40,000 range). Shot in the Midwest in the autumn, the color palate is full of rich reds, bright oranges, deep blues and bleached yellows. The direction, by Zack Parker, is impressive considering this is only his second low-budget film. The shots are tight, crisp and straightforward with no annoying amateur “shake.” As a director, Parker looks like he will go far…I just wish he had better material to work with.

See, the actual story aspect of the film, co-written by Parker and Brandon Owens, is a little weak. I understand the concept of a man returning to seek acceptance and comfort from an old friend, but people change and the most annoying part was watching the sullen Derik stubbornly refuse the fact that Jason wasn’t the same person he used to know. Who would masochistically stick around while their former best friend ditches them time and time again, even though they are staying as a guest at his house? Also, the “family” aspect of the film seemed pretty stereotypical and trite. Is anyone really shocked by people that drink their own blood anymore? I mean, really? The whole stereotypical “goth” crowd that made up the “family” was also mundane and tired. Does that mean that anyone who dresses in black and wears heavy eyeliner is a sanguinarian? I think not…

The story builds slowly (a bit too slowly) and doesn’t cover a lot besides Derik moping around, looking dejected. It’s not until the last few scenes where a curveball is thrown, but by then it’s a little too late. The story failed to carry much tension or suspense, reveling in its high school dramatics more than anything else, which is a pity considering the high-caliber direction and acting.

Yes, the acting was surprisingly decent for a low-budget flick. While I found the character of Derik to be annoying and unlikable (now that I think about it, most of the characters were unlikable), Bo Barrett did a commendable job playing the sad character. Other characters, including Ben Schmitt as Jason, did a decent job as well, while others, like Samantha Eileen DeTurk as Veronica, were a bit wooden. The absolute stand-out of the cast was Mia Moretti as Gina. She did an excellent job of playing cute and seductive yet horribly lonely.

Quench is definitely not a film for everyone in the horror crowd. It’s slow pace and un-horrifyingly story will turn many off, but it may be worth watching for Zack Parker’s impressive direction and overall good performances. While it bills itself as a “gothic tragedy,” it carries none of the traditionally gothic atmosphere…just a bunch of actors dressed in fetish and bondage clothes.

Proceed with caution with this one…Quench won’t satisfy your thirst for horror unless you are looking for a downbeat, somber drama.

Slime City (1988)

Are you a fan of oozy, gooey B-movies? If so, you will definitely be a fan of the underrated and little-known 1988 movie Slime City!! Filmed on the seedy and shady streets of New York in the 80’s, Slime City can best be compared to Street Trash with its putrescent and neon-colored gore. It revels in grossing you out, but also has an entertaining story.

You see, Alex (Robert C. Sabin) is looking for an apartment all his own…one where he can have a little privacy with his girlfriend, Lori (Mary Huner). He and Lori find a reasonably priced apartment that is close to both Lori’s house and Alex’s work. Alex decides to take it and soon meets the interesting tenants of the place. Across the hall is a Goth prostitute named Nicole (Mary Huner again) who likes to parade around in scant yards of chain, black leather, and fishnets and doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Downstairs is Roman (Dennis Embry), a punk poet who is quick to befriend Alex and invite him over for dinner. Dinner turns out to be blue and green glop that Roman calls “Himalayan yogurt” and a green alcohol that Roman tells Alex was created by the alchemist that used to live there.

After eating the green goop, Alex ends up giving in to Nicole’s wiles. Later, he wakes up covered in a slick, wet slime. Soon, his whole body is oozing and dripping with the stuff. He loses control and kills a homeless man on the street, whose spilled blood manages to turn Alex back to normal. Still, Alex cannot get enough of the green goop that Roman fed him, so he avoids his girlfriend Lori and chugs the stuff whenever he gets his hands on it. He also learns that the alchemist, named Zachary, was also a Satanist and committed suicide in the basement, along with his followers who also lived in the apartment complex. Alex keeps turning into a walking open sore, and takes to wrapping himself in bandages (a la The Invisible Man) before he relieves himself by killing someone.

Pretty soon, we learn that Nicole, Roman and the rest of the tenants just aren’t themselves…their bodies have actually been taken over by the spirits of Zachary’s followers. Zachary is also trying to come back…by invading Alex’s body!

Slime City is a fun and deliciously disgusting (and gut-busting) piece of splatter cinema! If you like your blood splatter mixed with gangrenous greens, lurid yellows and bloated blues, that is! The movie is like looking at a piece of splatter art, you know the kind you used to do when you were a kid? You spun the paper around and around and splattered all different kinds of colors on it? Imagine that and you’ve got Slime City!

For a low-budget film things work beautifully. Director and writer Greg Lamberson knew his limitations and worked within them to bring us this picture. I imagine the bulk of the budget was spent on paint and fake body parts!! Everything looks the way it should, and the grainy, low-budget look of the film only adds to the ambiance of the movie. There are some odd close-ups of characters speaking dialogue, but either I missed the director’s intentions or it is just an amateur’s mistake.

The acting is serviceable and the actors do their jobs quite well. Of course there are some scenes of over-acting, but for the most part everyone plays their characters well. Mary Huner does a wonderful job playing both Lori and Nicole. She gives such impressive performances that I didn’t even realize the same person was playing two different characters.

As for the “slime” in this City…oh, it definitely delivers!! The wet, oozing and sore-infested Alex is gross to look at and we get some impressive limb decapitation via Alex’s deformed body, along with copious amount of Technicolor bodily substances (blood, ooze, pus and so on). The end of the film is where the big payoff is, though, and I’m not giving any of it away.

If you are looking for a good time with some slime, I highly recommend the underrated, underappreciated Slime City.

Just don’t drink the green goop if it’s offered to you…and stay away from Himalayan yogurt!

Available from Amazon!

The Convent (2000)

The Convent is a raucous, ridiculous and fun film directed by Mike Mendez before he did The Gravedancers. Fans of gory horror films that feature a prominent vein of goofy comedy are sure to love The Convent.

It’s 1959, and a Catholic school girl, named Christine, approaches a convent with a leather jacket slouched over her shoulders, a cigarette dangling from her mouth, big sunglasses on, a barrel of gasoline and a bag of weapons, all to the sounds of “You Don’t Own Me.” She enters the convent and proceeds to beat the nuns and priest inside with a baseball bat before lighting them on fire and gunning them down. The whole place soon goes up in flames and the story becomes local legend…

Forty years later, the convent is abandoned and is said to still be haunted by the nuns and priest. Rumor has it that Christine went bonkers after the nuns forced her to have an abortion. Christine was locked up in a mental institution for a number of years, but now she resides in town, living as a recluse.

A group of college kids go looking for a little excitement at the convent, but soon get kicked out by two cops (Bill Mosely and Coolio in two memorable cameos!), all except for Goth chick Mo, that is. She is snatched up by the local satanic cult as a virginal sacrifice. Things go kablooey and the demons are mistakenly set loose by the bumbling Satanists.

When the rest of the college kids begrudgingly return to look for Mo, they are attacked by the demons and they themselves are turned into demons. The demons don the nuns’ and priest’s clothes and are intent on bringing forth the Antichrist. One of the few survivors, Clorissa, escapes to find Christine (the adult Christine is played by the kick ass Adrienne Barbeau) to see if she can again stop the nuns. Turns out Christine killed the nuns and priest not because of a clandestine abortion, but because they were demons who wanted her unborn baby to turn into the Antichrist! The demons have returned to try and finish the ritual that they started, this time with Clorissa’s geeky and virginal brother. Can Christine save the day…again?!

Director Mike Mendez really packed this movie chock-full of his love for cheesy, over-the-top ‘80s horror films like Night of the Demons, Evil Dead and Demons. His exuberance and excitement for the genre is apparent and contagious!! If anything, this movie will make you appreciate the giddiness Mendez has for the genre and hopefully you’ll start feeling equally giddy!

This is a movie that never takes itself seriously and has fun emulating horror films from the past. It winks at the audience while paying homage to ‘80s horror and creating a wholeheartedly entertaining flick. From the stereotypical characters (jock, stoner, rich boy, horny couple, geek, Goth, Final Girl, Satanists, etc.) to its over-the-top gore (decapitations, head squishings/explosions, stabbings, shootings etc.), The Convent is a real throwback film.

It also helps that the script, written by Chaton Anderson, is downright hilarious! And not with that subtle, self-effacing, satirical humor so popular nowadays, either! No, the one-liners are packed full of cheesy, corny goodness, like something straight outta the 80s!

The special effects are worth mentioning as well, as the demonic nuns ooze florescent-colored blood (quite a clever way of getting around the MPAA rating board; this movie got away with a PG rating). The gore is never hardcore or realistic, but it’s never meant to be that way. Instead, it functions as mostly comedic and over-the-top, but that’s exactly what Mendez was going for.

Adrienne Barbeau (The Fog, Creepshow) is perfectly cast as the adult, tough-as-nails Christine. Her whisky-drinking, chain-smoking, Harley-riding, gun-toting and otherwise larger-than-life demeanor fits beautifully in the action-packed film. It is also a pleasure to see Bill Mosley (House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects) in a small cameo as a dope-smoking cop along with Coolio. The rest of the cast gives pretty cheesy performances, but that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

If you’re in the mood for a fun film that reflects the energy and enthusiasm of 80’s horror movies, look no further than The Convent.

Available on Amazon!

Night of the Living Dorks (2004)

Night of the Living Dorks is a riotous, raucous German horror-comedy that had me rolling on the floor with its raunchy humor, fun story and clever nods to other great zombie flicks.

Philip (Tino Mewes) and his best friends Konrad (Thomas Schmieder) and Weener (Manuel Cortez) are the three biggest losers at Frederich Nietzsche High. But when an inept voodoo ceremony by the local Goth clique leads to a fatal car accident, this trio of uber-dorks returns as indestructible zombies with an insatiable appetite for human flesh, wild parties and gym class revenge. Can Philip now score with the hottest girl in school before he decomposes? Is there any personal dismemberment that can’t be fixed with a stapler? And even if an antidote is found, will it damper the uninhibited high life of the undead?

Night of the Living Dorks combines the raunchiness of 80’s teen sex romps with the blood ‘n’ guts action of a Romero zombie flick. Darling of the festival circuit, this horror-comedy was the winner of the Audience Choice Award at the 2005 Fantasia Film Festival. Now it has finally hit stateside and is available to own on DVD courtesy of wonderful Anchor Bay Entertainment.

I have only good things to say about the film…Let’s start with the great performances throughout the entire film. The actors playing the three dorks were very natural and a pleasure to watch in action, especially when they began losing body parts and they begin getting a little…hungry. Their comedic timing was pitch-perfect! Special mention should also go to Collien Fernandes, who played Philip’s Goth friend/next-door-neighbor who has a crush on him. The rest of the actors did a great job as well, from Philip’s lax mom (Sissi Perlinger) to the typical clique kids you find in high school to their hard-partying and sexy teacher, Frau Niedermacher (Patricia Thielemann).

The story and characters are all well-developed and writer/director Mathias Dinter did a wonderful job with the film. It is more of a comedy than a horror movie, so there isn’t that much gore, but the wonderful comedic elements more than make up for it. The one-liners are much more racy than anything American films could get away with and of course this makes it that much more hilarious.

I loved the Revenge of the Nerds angle that went hand-in-hand with the three geeks’ increased strength from being undead. They were able to beat down (and chow down) on the bullies who harassed them and even beat the formidable rugby team in a match. Maybe I’m just a nerd at heart, but the combination of geeks turning the tables on the popular kids with the added bonus of being zombies while doing so just sets my heart all a-flutter.

I was a little disappointed that there was hardly any blood and guts, but again, the comedic elements makes up for it. Be warned, though, this film is not straight horror, and contains more comedy (and less serious moments) than even Shaun of the Dead. It also doesn’t contain the high levels of nudity and sex that many 80’s teen comedies feature. It is still a very enjoyable and entertaining movie…ah, if only The Breakfast Club had featured a couple of zombies in that library…

The extras on the disc are well worth checking out and include a look behind the scenes, deleted and extended scenes, an alternate ending, theatrical trailer and a blooper reel. If you enjoy horror-comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Freak Out, you are sure to enjoy Night of the Living Dorks.

Available on Amazon!

Sweet Insanity (2006)

Meet the new girl…

Sweet Insanity is fun yet typical low-budget slasher that harkens back to the ‘80s heyday of bad horror movies.

Stacey (Rebekah Hoyle) is a popular girl at her high school that spends much of her time hanging out with friends, flirting with boys and wearing cute outfits. New, gothy girl Christina (Mackenzie Firgens) shows up and the two quickly form a close bond, mostly because Christina won’t leave Stacey alone. After one guy from the popular clique disappears, things begin to take a turn from the worse. The guys in the group are all trying to hide a secret, a strange man begins to follow Stacey and Christina around and Christina begins having weird flashbacks. When Stacey throws a party while her parents are out of town, her friends are killed off one by one.

Sweet Insanity follows the typical slasher plot, and though it’s been done a million times before, I actually found myself enjoying the movie. I’m a sucker for horror/thriller flicks set in high school and I think it may have been my downfall with this particular flick. All the reviews I read of Sweet Insanity are negative, but I actually didn’t think it was that bad. Sure, it lacks gore, blood, a surprise ending, good acting and boobs, but I still found it to be entertaining.

The plot is pretty typical of a slasher flick…a buncha high schoolers get together for a party and get killed off because of a secret in their past. You’ve got the typical good girl, slut, jock, and goth archetypes going on, along with your typical red herrings (could the killer be the crazy, alcoholic ex-cop next door or the creepy guy that keeps following them around?). It definitely doesn’t break any new ground in the genre. It is also entirely predictable from the first 10 minutes.

As for the actors, they all act a bit wooden and stiff. The guys, especially, deliver their lines awkwardly. Some of the dialogue is painful to hear, and, coupled with some bad performances, laughable. Dear Lord, though, it is a slasher and isn’t supposed to have great dialogue or stellar acting! Though the actors all looked like they were way past high school age and didn’t quite deliver performance-wise, I did enjoy seeing Mackenzie Firgens as Christina, whom you may remember from The Hamiltons. I wish she had been given more screen time.

Sweet Insanity is an obvious low-budget affair, so the picture and sound quality are iffy at best. My main complaint was that I had a hard time hearing most of the dialogue. Surprisingly, it has excellent direction and great camera work, even throwing in some stylish shots. For a low budget, the picture quality was ok…most of the time I felt like I was watching a TV movie, though.

That’s another thing…there is no nudity, no gore and very little blood so it does feel like it was made for television. Guys, you’ll be disappointed to know that there are no boobies featured here. A tease occurs when two of the girls take off their shirts to change into swimsuits, but the camera quickly cuts away. There is also no gore, though there are a few nifty kill scenes. Blood splatter is very limited as well.

The kill scenes include a throat being slit, the use of a buzz saw to saw someone in half, the use of a long drill to get someone in a closet, a fire poker through someone’s throat, a stabbing and so on. None are inventive, but they are still entertaining to watch. I just wish more blood, guts and gore had been shown to liven things up a bit. There are obvious nods to classic horror flicks scattered throughout the production, such as the closet scene from Halloween, a scene that is similar to one in Psycho and a few Friday the 13^th/Nightmare on Elm Street nods.

The predictable ending is very abrupt, almost like they lost a reel of film and had to jump from the climax directly to the last scene. I wish more was explained and revealed a little more delicately than just plopping it clumsily down into the audience’s lap. Despite all these bad traits (and what a laundry list that is!) this is still your average, good-for-a-laugh slasher film.

MTI Home Video has released the disc with extras that include commentary from director Daniel Hess, deleted scenes and outtakes, a still gallery and additional trailers.

On Amazon!

Return of the Living Dead (1985)

I watched this movie for the first time last night, expecting a horrible, throw-away movie that I would never watch again. Wow was I surprised! I loved this movie!

Freddy is learning the ropes at his new job at a medical supply store. His supervisor, Frank, shows him where they keep the human skeletons, the fresh corpses, the dissected-in-half dogs and all sorts of other weird and creepy stuff. Frank tells Freddy that the movie Night of the Living Dead was based on true events. He tells Freddy that the government was in possession of a chemical that re-animates dead corpses. One such outbreak occurred at a hospital, and somehow those re-animated corpses were shipped to their medical supply store and reside in the basement. Frank and Freddy head down there to have a looksie, but Frank accidentally releases the chemical gas.

Meanwhile, Freddy's punk (and new wave and goth and preppy) friends are waiting to pick him up from work. They have a few hours to kill so they decide to go to the Resurrection (nyuck nyuck) Cemetery across the street from the medical supply store to get the party started. Freddy has a very diverse group of friends - preppy Tina, punks Spider, Casey and Scuz, goth-like punks Trash and Suicide and new-waver Chuck.

Back at the medical supply store, Freddy and Frank wake up to find dead things are coming back to life. They quickly call the owner, Ernie, and after the three of them chop up a re-animated corpse and it still won't die, they decide to go to the mortuary by the cemetery and cremate the remains.

Burt is the mortician and after Ernie explains what is happening, Burt agrees to let them cremate the still-moving body parts. After they burn the body, the smoke drifts up into the atmosphere, but soon comes back down to earth as it starts to rain heavily. The chemicals rain down on the punks, who run for cover after they notice this rain burns! Soon, corpses are digging their way out of their graves and going after the punks.

Back at the mortuary, Frank and Ernie aren't doing too well - the paramedics come and tell them that technically, they are dead. They have no heart beat, no blood pressure, no temperature, and yet they are talking and coherent. Hmmmm...imagine that!

Soon, the remaining punks join those in the mortuary as they try and escape from the zombie hordes who just want braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnsssss...more braiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnns!

Wow, this movie was completely enjoyable! It was funny, it paid homage to Romero, it had its gory moments and a well developed (yet simple) story. The acting was kinda over the top or just plain bad at times, but this worked with the overall campy and fun tone of the movie. The shock at the end is great too - they finally call an emergency number for the government, thinking they will get help, but...KABLOOEY!!

If you haven't seen this movie, watch it - this is one that DOES deserve its cult status!

Order it on Amazon!