Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

In my quest to watch every Halloween-themed horror flick I can get my hands on, I decided to give the obscure Hack-O-Lantern a whirl. This film combines one of my favorite subgenres of horror, satanic cults, with my favorite holiday, Halloween. What could go wrong, right?

The film opens with a young boy named Tommy as he is visited by his friendly grandfather on Halloween. Grandpa gives him his pick of pumpkins as well as an ominous looking pendant. Tommy’s family doesn’t like grandpa visiting his grandson and Tommy’s father goes after good ol’ grandpa to give him a piece of his mind. However, grandpa isn’t as nice as he seems…he’s actually the leader of a satanic cult and they dispatch Tommy’s dear old dad right quick.

The film then jumps ahead several years to the eve of Tommy’s 18^th birthday that happens to coincide with Halloween. Grandpa has grand plans for Tommy’s initiation into his satanic cult, but Tommy’s beleaguered mother pleads with him to reconsider. Also concerned for Tommy’s well-being are his younger sister and brother, who is a rookie cop.

With Halloween celebrations in full swing, a robed, Devil-masked killer starts murdering townsfolk. Can Tommy’s family stop him from joining his Grandpa in the Dark Arts or are they already too late?

At least the title got it right…HACK-O-Lantern is an apt title for this painfully silly “horror” movie. Good god, this movie felt like it dragged on and on though it clocked in at under an hour and a half. It had its entertaining parts (more on these later), but overall this is a serious piece of cinematic doody. The first glaring evidence of this was the ridiculous acting from Hy Pyke, who played Grandpa. Are all Satanist leaders this effeminate and non-threatening? And then we have the actor who played Tommy, Gregory Scott Thomas (whom you might recognize as Mac’s father on the hilarious TV show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). Tommy is supposed to be nearing 18 in the film, but Scott Thomas is seriously mis-cast as he looks like a ‘roided out, 30-year-old jock rather than a young teenage follower of Satan.

Then, there are all the wacky and weird scenes throughout the movie. These are the “entertaining” bits I mentioned above. First is a seriously strange dream sequence/metal video that features an exotic voodoo-like dancer (check her out on the flick’s cover above) who, 1.) has multiple arms like a Hindu goddess, and, 2.) shoots horrible-looking lasers out of her eyes that zap the band members. This is a seriously WTF scene, but wait! It gets better…There’s the whole branding scene where nubile young Satan worshippers get their butts branded with a pentagram, another horrendous dime store metal band that screeches during a Halloween party that features random strippers and a five minute sequence of a “comedian” doing stupid impressions…of turkeys. Not to mention the amount of devil’s horns the characters throw around…except instead of the traditional holding up of just pointer and pinky fingers to hail the devil, the characters hold up pinky, pointer AND thumb…which actually means “I love you” in sign language and NOT “hail Satan”. Those silly satanists! Seriously, though, Grandpa, Tommy and other cult members throw the horns around non-stop…so much that you could in fact make a drinking game out of their appearances, taking a shot every time someone flashes the devil’s horns. However, you would probably be sloshed in 20 minutes…but perhaps that would be a better state of mind in which to watch the movie. Maybe if you’re drunk it would at least be kinda enjoyable.

Plus, there is the whole sleazy aspect of the film. We are talking random nudity (and not good nudity, it’s all low-budget ‘80s nudity here!) like the previous stripperella at the party mentioned above, plus a few non-sexy sex scenes. There is also the whole subtext of incest that pops up throughout the film. It is hinted that Tommy is actually the son of his mom and his grandpa. Yup, how ‘bout a big old EWWWWW from the audience, eh? I was half expecting that Tommy put the moves on his mom, but thankfully the film didn’t go down that road!

As for the kills? They were almost an afterthought and the only decent one worth mentioning is when a dude gets a shovel through his noggin. Yes, it is a low-budget film but the kills took a long time coming…too little too late in my opinion. It’s like the film couldn’t decide if it wanted to focus on the masked killer or the satanic cult and it ended up not giving enough attention to either. I also think too much time was spent on Tommy’s family, including his sister, brother and mother, instead of focusing on the supposed main character of the film, Tommy. The only time we saw him was when he was brooding in his room, listening to his crappy metal music and having weird dreams, or slamming the door in his poor mom’s face.

The ending had a nice little twist as to who the killer was, but by then I was really too bored to care. I watched Hack-O-Lantern for some fun Halloween thrills, but found it more of a chore to sit through. A film with a cool name like Hack-O-Lantern deserves to be somewhat entertaining, but this was more like Crap-O-Lantern.

If you are a brave soul, the VHS is available on Amazon!

Shock (1977)

Shock was legendary director Mario Bava’s final film before his death. That right there should be enough reason to get anyone to check this film out, but luckily it’s also a fine film that lives up to its title!

Shock is about a family – Dora (Daria Nicolodi), her son Marco (David Colin Jr.) and new husband Bruno (John Steiner) – who move into the old house Dora shared with her first husband/baby-daddy Carlo (Nicola Salerno). It seems that dear old Carlo was an unstable piano player and died under mysterious circumstances, leaving Dora very traumatized. When Dora and her new family settles into the house, strange things start to occur – furniture moves of its own free will, Dora suffers intense nightmares and little Marco starts to behave rather oddly. Is the move back to the house causing Dora to go a little mad or has Carlo come back from the grave to torment his ex-wife?

Surprisingly, I had never seen Shock before (I don’t know how it slipped by me since I’m a huge Bava fan!), but I’m so very glad I finally got around to watching it because Shock was everything I was hoping it to be! It is full of creepiness, scares, and yes, even shocks!

I loved how it blended the is-she-crazy-or-isn’t-she storyline along with the supernatural/haunted house theme AND the creepy kid bit. Not only that, but it blended these different sub-genres successfully. The film flowed smoothly and all these different storylines fit together very well.

There were also some truly memorable scenes, including one where a rotting hand strokes Dora’s cheek as she sleeps, some disturbing sexual advances young Marco makes towards his mommy, a nice scare involving a rotting hand bursting through the grass, razors hidden between piano keys, a basement that leaks blood and so on. The evocative score also helped build a sense of dread, as did the forebodingly dark lighting throughout the film. Even when the action is set outside a dreary pallor hangs over the film, echoing Dora’s fragile state.

The action was primarily focused on Dora and Marco (hubby Bruno is a pilot, so he was usually away for days at a time), which in the hands of lesser director might get boring In Shock this is certainly not the case and my eyes were glued to the screen watching as Dora spiraled into a hysterical state and things became progressively worse in the household. It also really kept me guessing and the conclusion, which is carefully hinted at, was extremely satisfying, ending on a decidedly downbeat tone. Acknowledgement should also be given to actors Daria Nicolodi (a fan favorite in Italian/Euro horror), David Colin Jr. and John Steiner. Had there performances not been up to par they really would have dragged the film down, but luckily they were all at the top of their game. Nicolodi and Colin Jr. must especially be recognized since, as mentioned above, they were the main focus of the film. Nicolodi was excellent as the caring but unstable mother and Colin Jr. was downright creepy (and a little bit sleazy) as the young son. Really impressive acting from Colin Jr., especially considering his young age!

Shock kind of lacks Bava’s visual flair from earlier films, but that doesn’t make it any less effective. As a modern haunted house/ghost story the austere visuals work quite well and I think any kind of flashy visuals would have taken away from the story. Plus, there are plenty of memorable scenes (those mentioned above, as well as many more) without the need for Bava’s typical gothic and/or over the top stylings.

Shock may not be Mario Bava’s most sophisticated work, but it definitely is a film that creates a sense of creeping uneasiness that is extremely effective. And you just can’t go wrong with flying razors and a kid possessed by his own dad putting the moves on his mom!

Available from Amazon!

Sick Girl (2009)

Sick Girl is an independent production that I eagerly looked forward to seeing. I mean, how can you go wrong with a twisted and disturbing story who’s synopsis describes the crazy lead character as someone who “wants to f**k her older brother, protect her younger brother and torture everyone else out in her barn”?!

I was looking forward to a brutal characterization of a take-no-prisoners female character, but when I finally got around to seeing this flick I was pretty let down. It features plenty of disturbing and shocking imagery, but that’s pretty much all the film offered and therefore was devoid of any depth or real reason for even being made.

In Sick Girl, Izzy (Leslie Andrews) is left to care for her little brother Kevin (Charlie Trepany) after her older brother leaves to fight in the war overseas. Their parents passed away many years prior and the only adult in Izzy and Kevin’s life is big biker Barney (John McGarr), who looks after Kevin while Izzy is off terrorizing people. And terrorize she does – she blows away a random bunch of Catholic schoolgirls on a bus, teaches her brother’s bullies a lesson and even castrates a random dude. She’s got her own little torture barn out behind her house, where she brings victims she wants to get a little more intimate with. Yup, Izzy is a sadistic killer, but neither Kevin nor Barney has any idea about her crazy, murderous streak.

The film felt like it was made solely for shock’s worth, but hardcore horror fans won’t really be fazed by most of the violence in Sick Girl and more mainstream audiences won’t pick it up in the first place. It just feels like an unbalanced, pointless exercise in “shock cinema” that ultimately fails in the end.

The acting ranged from mediocre to pretty competent. I thought Charlie Trepany (as little brother Kevin) and John McGarr (as gentle giant Barney) did a consistently good job with their characters, but I can’t decide if I liked or loathed Leslie Andrews’ acting as Izzy. At times it felt like she was more wooden than an actor in a school play, but other times her far-away stare and sudden violence felt very real. Or was it the character that was really that disjointed? Either way, I am torn on Andrews’ performance.

I will say that I enjoyed the gritty, natural look of the film. The rural atmosphere, with its rolling fields and red barns, was a nice break from the urban atmosphere of most “disturbed killer” movies. The stark, empty setting complemented the emptiness and loneliness of Izzy’s character. Director Eben McGarr (who also wrote the film) perfectly captured the washed-out, naturally lit look of ‘70s exploitation flicks.

So, the film looks pretty, but what is it trying to say? That life’s not fair? That some of us just can’t handle the stresses of life and snap? The message definitely isn’t clear, and in fact the lead character of Izzy isn’t even sympathetic. Izzy is so f’ed up that you don’t feel sorry for her, and in fact, begin feeling sorry for her intended victims, even though they themselves are far from innocent. In fact, in her barn Izzy has tied up a horny teen, a bitchy schoolgirl and a sadistic bully. Her punishments for these predators turned prey include castration, rape with a handmade strap-on and allowing a starved rat to eat someone’s face off (while they are still alive). You end up feeling sorrier for these victims than for Izzy. And is she just trying to protect her family or does her violence extend to anyone and everyone? These guidelines are never really set up, so by the time the disturbing conclusion rolls around, you really don’t feel anything at all. There is no emotional impact, and I for one was glad the movie was finally over and that I never had to watch it again.

I love a good, shocking movie, especially when so many play it safe. What makes shocking cinema so good, though, are the underlying themes and ideas that really make you think long after you’ve seen the films and been bombarded with their disturbing imagery. Unfortunately, Sick Girl fails to accomplish this and just shows disturbing imagery for the shock value and nothing more. Which, to me, made it a displeasure to watch and very forgettable upon its conclusion. Sorry, Sick Girl, but I just wish someone had put you out of your misery before I watched you.

Order it on Amazon!

The Unseen (1980)

You know the feeling you get when you discover a hidden gem of a movie? When you are incredulous that it never garnered that much attention and want to yell from the rooftops about the underappreciated genius of the film?! Well, I had never heard of the 1980 film The Unseen before and the premise made it sound exactly like a diamond in the rough whose virtues I could extol to the masses…errrr, well, it didn’t exactly turn out that way, but at the same time I still kind of liked the film!

The Unseen starts with a reporter named Jennifer (Barbara Bach) storming out of the Los Angeles apartment she shares with her injured ex-football star boyfriend Tony (Douglas Barr). It seems that Tony’s unrealistic drive to get back into football after a knee injury is driving Jennifer batty. She leaves on assignment and heads to north to Solvang with her camera woman Karen (Karen Lamm) and gal pal Vicki (Lois Young) to cover the Dutch settlement’s annual parade. The hotel apparently lost their reservation and since all the other hotels in town are booked, they are forced to look for lodging a tiny city 30 or so miles from Solvang. A seemingly kind museum owner, Ernest Keller (Sydney Lassick) offers them rooms in his large home, where they meet his “wife”, the nerve-wracked Virginia (Lelia Goldoni). After getting settled, Jennifer and Karen head back into town to cover the parade while an ill Vicki stays at the Keller’s to rest up. Unfortunately for her, something or someone that lives in the basement crawls up through the heating vents and tries to drag her down to “play”…but her head gets crushed in the process.

Meanwhile, Tony has followed Jennifer to Solvang, intent on resolving their issues. As they hash it out over dinner, Karen heads back to the Keller house and ends up much like Vicki did before her. We also learn about Ernest’s upbringing and that he takes “keeping it all in the family” a little too literally. By the time Jennifer arrives back at the Keller’s, they are more than ready for her to meet little Junior (Stephen Furst) in the basement.

The Unseen started out on a positive note, with three gung-ho, smart and likable ladies who will stop at nothing to get the story of the century about the little Dutch settlement that could! The first half of the film moves at a quick clip, with likable characters and their unfortunate decision to stay with the creepy Keller’s. There is a sense of unease around the couple, their home and what lurks in the basement. The first “kill” scene is entertaining, if a little over-the-top in how Vicki wildly reacts as she desperately tries to claw her way to safety as “something” drags her down an old-fashioned heating grate. The second kill is even better, as it involves a scarf tantalizingly dangling over another heating grate, just waiting for someone from below to grab hold of it and yank. Be warned, though, there is hardly any bloodshed and a very paltry body count, so don’t go looking for a gorefest with this one or you’ll be sorely disappointed.

While the first half of the film has an excellent set-up, the second half just doesn’t pack the same punch. By the time Jennifer arrives back to find a seemingly empty Keller house, the pacing starts to slow down and the last half of the film feels dragged out. It’s like they only had 10 minutes worth of story but dragged it out to 40 minutes. These last 40 minutes are spent in the basement while our heroine is lorded over by the overgrown, inbred lovechild of the Keller family. Of those 40 minutes, at least 15 are spent on showing the man-child gleefully clapping his hands and stuffing his teddybear down his soiled and no longer tight or white tighty-whities, all the while his chubby man-boobs peak through the remains of a tattered T-shirt. You gotta wonder how the heck he actually fit into the heating ducts in the first place! I also didn’t like the fact that he lost all scariness as soon as they decided to show him. It’s like all of a sudden, despite the fact that he’s already killed two people, we are supposed to feel sorry for the “special” guy. From then on the movie looses any momentum and tension it might have had as it presents its most menacing foe to be the tubby man of the house, Ernest. Plus, I can’t really feel sorry for the Final Girl because upon escaping the basement she didn’t even bother to lock the loony family in with the huge padlock that was hanging by the door. Instead, she went and hid in the chicken coop!! Obviously, she’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch…

The best scenes in the film featured the disturbing interactions between Ernest and Virginia. Right off the bat you know something ain’t right with the pair…and in a creepy scene featuring Ernest and the disembodied voice of his dead father you learn why. From then on it is just uncomfortable to watch the two together! The acting by Sydney Lassick as the over-eager Ernest and Lelia Goldoni as the unstable Virginia was certainly the best in the film. They played extremely well off one another and really made you squirm in your seat!

I wouldn’t call The Unseen a “gem” of a horror film, but despite its flaws it is still a neat little film that horror fans may enjoy. One the plus side, the presentation of the taboo subjects of incest and inbreeding is downright creepy, but on the negative side the tame killer and kills are mediocre and drag the film down. Overall, though, I’d say The Unseen is at least worth a rental!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Shadows by Joan de la Haye

Sarah is struggling through her estranged father’s recent suicide while trying to maintain her relationship with cheating boyfriend Kevin. Unbeknownst to Sarah, Kevin is seeing Denise, who in turn is seeing Kevin’s sister, Carol. Things get complicated in the love triangle when Denise asks something of the siblings that is unfathomable to most people.

Meanwhile, Sarah is falling into despair at Kevin’s neglect of her in her time of need. She falls further into a downward spiral when she starts hallucinating and starts seeing a demon that shows her horrible scenes of carnage. The lines between reality and fiction become blurred as Sarah is tormented by the demon.

Shadows is from South African author Joan de la Haye, and it’s fun to read the Johannesburg slang that pops up in her writing. The rest of the book is just as engaging, making it a quick, nail-biting read that is hard to put down!

I really enjoyed the two storylines, one told from Sarah’s first-person perspective and the other alternating from Kevin, Carol and Denise’s perspectives, but all told in third person. The switches in voice made things interesting and let you know right away whose perspective you were seeing things from.

The characters, while not remarkably likable (the cheating, incestuous Kevin is especially vile), are all very engaging and you can’t wait to see how they will unravel next. The calculating Denise is almost as bad as Sarah’s demon, manipulating both Kevin and Carol at the same time. Carol has her own motives, but follows wherever Denise leads. And Sarah is a needy, dependent woman who gains the readers’ respect later in the book when she decides not to take it anymore and fight back! Sarah’s demon is quite entertaining, though I definitely wouldn’t want to get on his bad side!

The issues in the book are appropriately disturbing as it deals with everything from rape, suicide, incest to poor healthcare systems. Sarah’s demon takes gruesome delight in tormenting her, showing her effectively gory scenes of bloody death of her loved ones. There are plenty of passages filled with grue in the novel, but these never overpower the truly scariest aspect of the novel, which is the cruelty that people can inflict on each other and themselves.

Author Joan de la Haye has crafted a darkly entertaining book with Shadows and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for readers next!

Available from Amazon!

Teeth (2008)

The indie film Teeth, the darling of last year’s Sundance Festival, masquerades as a feminist film and has sadly been heralded as such, but the reality is that Teeth is a misogynistic film that tells the audience that the only way for a woman to have any power or control is for her to spread her legs and submit to men.

Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a virtuous high school student that preaches and practices abstinence. She is a motivational speaker for middle school kids, and despite the taunting cat-calls she receives at school, she stays true to her vow. That is, until she meets like-minded Tobey (Hale Appleman). The two fall for each other, but during an intense make-out session at the local swimming hole, Tobey forces Dawn into sex (while she’s half-way unconscious after bumping her head). Dawn’s genitalia fights back, taking a big bite outta Tobey’s penis. Dawn knows there is something very wrong with her body, and discovers she has “vagina dentata,” a myth that dates back to ancient civilizations. After numerous run-ins with other men who try and take advantage of her (only to have their members bitten clean off), Dawn realizes she can use her newfound teeth to her advantage…especially when it comes to her lecherous step-brother Brad (John Hensley).

Teeth was a very disappointing movie, especially since it had been branded such a great “feminist” horror film. It’s a pity that just about any movie with a female lead is automatically branded a “feminist” film because in Teeth its a grievous misnomer. It’s just about the most misogynistic horror film I’ve seen in a while.

Writer/director Mitchell Lichtenstein (whom I’ll refer to as LETCHenstein from now on) comes off as more of a lewd old man instead of a champion of woman’s liberation. He’s like the guy who says he supports your women’s lib group, but really says so just to bang all the hot chicks and brag about it to his buddies later. His female characters are of the Madonna/whore archtype, with little room in-between. Dawn is portrayed as naive and virginal in the beginning of the film (mostly for laughs at the character’s expense), but later begins turning into a bit of a slut. Yet, she is strongest at the beginning of the film – she knows who she is, what she stands for and she’s not about to let the bozo’s at school that taunt and tease her get in the way of what she knows is right…until she meets that “special boy,” of course. When Mr. Right comes along, we all know to drop whatever is important to us and ride off into the sunset with him, right? BULLSHIT, LETCHenstein!! Do you even know any women?? As for the other women characters in the film, they are underdeveloped or exploited, as is the case with Brad’s “girlfriend” (more like sex puppet) Kim, who submits herself over and over to his whims.

To be fair, the male characters aren’t written in the most flattering light either – most are rapists. Tobey forces Dawn to have sex at the beginning of the film, the gynecologist she visits sexually assaults her (and loses his fingers in the process), another boy places a bet that he can bang her and calls his friend while he’s having sex with Dawn (after he’s drugged her) to brag about it (bye bye penis) – oh, and all these scenes are played for laughs. Hmmm…last time I checked RAPE wasn’t funny, Mr. LETCHenstein. To make matters worse, sympathy is transferred from Dawn, you know, the rape victim, to her stupid attackers when they lose various body parts! If you need any more proof that this film is misogynist you need an eye exam.

For horror fans out there expecting a blood bath…you’ll also be disappointed. Except for 2 or 3 severed penises, it’s not at all gory. There’s maybe one shot of the bloody severed stub where the penis used to be, but horror fans have seen much worse. You can’t rely on gore in this film either…or scares for that matter.

The story itself is confused, convoluted and imbalanced. The horror of Dawn’s situation is reduced to gags and creates a very uncomfortable atmosphere. There are also weird bits of tragedy, like Dawn’s mom dying, which fit awkwardly into the overall story. The pacing is off and it takes FOREVER for something to happen and even longer for the next big penis-chomping to go down. I would usually applaud a film for taking the time to build up characters, but Teeth does no such thing, instead deciding to tiredly poke fun at religion and abstinence. YAWN!

The acting was just about the only good thing in Teeth. Jess Weixler pulls off Dawn’s many emotions convincingly, but it is John Hensley as her step-brother Brad that really shines. His foul-mouthed pillow-talk is uproarious and he steals every seen he is in (and even some he’s not, when he can just be heard in the background). He, like most characters in the film, is unlikable and we can’t wait to see his demise. Still, he is what saved this movie from being absolute trash.

Teeth, wrongly labeled “pro-woman,” is one of the most vile and misogynist pieces of cinema I’ve been unfortunate to witness. Or perhaps fortunately, because now I can warn you all of it’s deviant deception. I really cannot believe how many clueless critics heralded this as the best indie film out of Sundance…

Because, frankly, it BITES!

Available on Amazon!

Sheitan (2006)

I was just bombarded with the strange and disturbing Sheitan, a horror film from France directed by Kim Chapiron and written by Kim and Christian Chapiron. Sheitan is a shocking, disturbing and crazy film that features some of the oddest and unsettling characters this side of a David Lynch film.

A group of twentysomethings meet the seemingly sweet and innocent Eve (Roxane Mesquida) at a club on Christmas Eve. Eve invites them back to her run-down farmhouse in the French countryside, where her parents are out of town. Once there, they meet the strange housekeeper, Joseph (Vincent Cassel). He and the rest of the countryfolk there seem slightly…off. The kids slowly start to ask themselves, just what is wrong with everyone? Then, one by one, the club kids fall victim to Joseph’s plan, one that involves his pregnant “wife,” their unborn baby and Sheitan, the devil himself.

Sheitan is a very uncomfortable movie to watch. It’s not that it’s a gory or gross-out movie (though the film has its share of gross-outs…how ‘bout that birthing scene?), but that the characters are just so strange and everything feels off-kilter. Joseph spends the entire film leering maniacally, while Eve always seems to be hiding something behind her big, seductive doe eyes. The townsfolk the kids run into are equally weird, giggling amongst themselves at the kids’ expense while “playing” rape in the hot springs (never mind that they are all related). There’s also plenty of nasty violence, incest, sex and devil worship to shock and satiate even the most jaded of viewers.

Though the kids that follow Eve out to the French countryside aren’t all that likable (the guys just want to get laid, they fight amongst each other over girls, one of them is cheating on his girlfriend, and the lone female of the group doesn’t really have a personality) you still feel uneasy for them when things begin to get awkward. When the shit really hits the fan, you’re in a panic, just like the characters. Also like the characters, we as an audience are never quite sure what is going on, but the tension and unease keeps mounting until the disturbing finale.

The acting is exceptionally well-done, especially by Vincent Cassel playing the creepy Joseph, who repeatedly steals the show. His lascivious performance made me feel like I needed a scalding shower after watching Sheitan, but I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him! The other actors did a great job as well, including Roxane Mesquida as Eve and Olivier Bartelemy, Nicolas Le Phat Tan, Leila Bekhti, and Ladj Ly as the club kids in for a hellish holiday!

The only complaint some genre fans might have is that it takes quite a while for something to truly “happen.” During that time, though, I defy you not to be creeped out by Vincent Cassel’s character or the rest of the inbred townsfolk. In my opinion, the film makes up for some slow spots by throwing in some black humor that will have you rolling on the floor when you’re not cringing at the screen!

Sheitan is an absolute nutjob, but I loved every dirty second of it. Its disturbing story, creepy location and, most of all, oddball characters make Sheitan a must-see. While it sounds like a run-of-the-mill slasher (a bunch of horny, attractive kids stuck in isolation somewhere are tracked down by a psycho killer), I assure you it is anything but standard fare. Sheitan will leave you dizzy with disturbance.

Available from Amazon!

Bloodlines (2007)

Bloodlines (aka Stickville) is I Spit On Your Grave meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s a brutal and shocking film that relies on strong characters that we want to see survive.

In the backwoods of Kentucky, a family of inbreds is intent on keeping their family bloodline alive...they begin seeking out pretty women who can continue their heritage without the deformities that are a result of inbreeding. They kidnap women and force them to fight to the death to determine who is the strongest. The winner is then raped by the “man of the house,” Billy Bob (Jason Padgett), in hopes that she will get pregnant and give birth to the family’s future. When the family abducts Amber Strickland (Grace Johnston) after her car breaks down on a desolate stretch of road, they learn that they’ve messed with the wrong woman. Amber is smart and tough-as-nails, and soon her own vicious family comes looking for her…

Bloodlines is a nasty tale about a family of murderous, backwoods inbreds. Despite its familiar story, it manages to draw the viewer in with some excellent character development and brutal, hard-to-watch scenes. While the film does have its gore, it doesn’t rely on just that to entertain the audience. Instead, the film is brutal and hard-to-watch because of its excellent character development, which makes us care a great deal about the captive women, especially when they are being brutalized. Thankfully, this is not an exploitative film and the violence toward the women is never eroticized or “sexy.” No matter how terrorized by the inbred family the women are, though, (especially Amber’s character) the women always hold their own and fight back.

What I enjoyed most about this film were the female characters. The women aren’t all strong like Amber, but the each finds her strength by the end of the film. Amber, played by Grace Johnston, is a very well developed character and as the film progresses you keep caring more and more about her. She sticks up for those weaker than her, doesn’t back down, is loyal, is determined and is extremely gutsy! The villain of the piece, Billy Bob (Jason Padgett) is a vile piece of backwoods misogynistic trash, talking down to his sisters, violently abusing women, raping women and leading his family and friends to do very nasty things to the women they capture. There is no way anyone could empathize or support such a sick, sadistic piece of work like Billy Bob (at least, I sure as hell hope no one could relate to him!). Both Johnston and Padgett (as well as the rest of the cast) do a fantastic job at playing their characters.

Along with the character development, the story is also very well-developed. The pacing is quick and there are few moments to catch your breath. There is enough depth (and a few twists) to the story to make it interesting, but not too much that would otherwise bog the story down.

This is an independent film, but it looks surprisingly great. It was mostly filled in one location (the isolated cabin home of the inbred family), but it also utilizes some great scenes in the forest where the inbreds are hunted by Amber’s own family. The scenes within the cabin are appropriately claustrophobic, frightening and tense.

I only have a few complaints about the film, one of which is the climactic scene, which seems to drag on a bit too long. Also, there are so many women that Billy Bob and his family are holding – I think they should have stuck to the original three hostages that were first introduced.

Besides these minor quibbles, Bloodlines is a film with a story and characters that will have you glued to the screen. I highly recommend checking it out when it is released by THINKFilm, tentatively scheduled for July 31, 2007.

Available on Amazon!

The Hamiltons (2006)

The Hamiltons is a dark tale about family ties and growing up…sound a little too movie-of-the-week for you? Well, don’t forget this is a horror movie and the Hamiltons aren’t your typical all-American family.

This family consists of older brother David, twins Darlene and Wendell and youngest brother Francis. Their parents died a few years ago and after losing the farm they were raised on the siblings are forced to move town to town while they try to find their place in the world. David is now the “man of the house” and must provide for the family. Wendell has just gotten out of jail for losing his temper in a fight and is the cause for most of the family’s frequent moves. Darlene delights in playing games with people and her and her twin Wendell have a very…ahem…“close” relationship. The family’s story is told through Francis’ eyes, though, as he tries to make sense of his place in the world as he grows up.

The usual family drama occurs, but things really take an interesting turn when Wendell kidnaps two young women and the family keeps them chained up in the basement. There is also something or someone else in the basement named Lenny that remains padlocked behind a massive, boarded up door. Francis is torn between protecting his family, the only kind of happiness he has ever known, and helping the girls in the basement.

The Hamiltons is a very well-done, slower-paced horror film. It will not appeal to gorehounds or those looking for slasherific satisfaction, as it is more of an intelligent and subtle horror film. I enjoyed it very much, especially the revelations at the end.

The strength of the film is how almost anyone can relate to the interactions between family members. The different relationships between the family members and the pain, difficulties and happiness they all experience as a result of their interactions will all remind viewers of their own experiences with their family (minus the whole creepy twist and incestuous relationship of the twins – let’s hope anyway!). The dialogue is all believable and each of the actors portrays the roles within a family that is barely holding it together with ease.
The cast is solid and each of the actors playing the siblings gives a great performance! Cory Knauf as Francis puts on one of the best performances. He really made me remember what it was like to be a teenager growing up and trying to fit in. Joseph McKelheer as Wendell and Samual Child as David do a stellar job in their roles as well, and Mackenzie Firgens shines as the sadistic Darlene. I loved her character and every second she was on screen. It’s amazing what a great job these four actors did in really making you believe they were a family!

This is a slow-moving film, with its focus squarely on the family drama occurring and the secret of the family, so don’t expect the screen to sing with blood. Despite what the DVD cover art looks like, this is not a gore-filled film. I was perfectly okay with this because the film definitely delivers on a more subtle and creepy level. I loved the ending and the different revelations that were shown regarding Lenny and Francis. I was a bit disappointed at the beginning, which shows Brittany Daniel trapped in the basement and something going after her. We never get to see what happens and her character is never brought up again…a very throw-away beginning, if you ask me. That was my only complaint of the film, though.

The Hamiltons is one of my favorite entries of the After Dark Horrorfest and if you are looking something with a highly original story, great performances, a well-written script and a bang-up ending, look no further than this film. It’s an intelligent and subtly creepy look at a family that you would not want to be neighbors with!

Available on Amazon!