Black Death (2011)

According to Wikipedia, the Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history and is estimated to have killed 30% – 60% of Europe’s population, reducing the world’s population from an estimated 450 million to between 350 and 375 million in 1400. This has been seen as having created a series of religious, social and economic upheavals which had profound effects on the course of European history. It took 150 years for Europe’s population to recover.

The death and pestilence spread by this deadly plague was of Biblical proportions, and it seems that the dark mark it left upon history would be the perfect material for a horror film. Lucky for us, Magnolia Pictures’ Black Death has risen to the occasion.

The year is 1348. Europe has fallen under the shadow of the Black Death. As the plague decimates all in its path, fear and superstition are rife. In this apocalyptic environment, the church is losing its grip on the people. There are rumors of a village, hidden in marshland that the plague cannot reach. There is even talk of a necromancer who leads the village and is able to bring the dead back to life.

Ulric (Sean Bean), a fearsome knight, is charged by the church to investigate these rumors. He enlists the guidance of a novice monk, Osmund  (Eddie Redmayne) to lead him and his band of mercenary soldiers to the marshland, but Osmund has other motives for leaving his monastery. Their journey to the village and events that unfold take them into the heart of darkness and to horrors that will put Osmund’s faith in himself and his love for God to the ultimate test.

Black Death is a gripping film dealing with issues of faith, temptation, redemption, salvation…all huge issues back in the Dark Ages and still relevant today. It has a bit of Wicker Man-feel, only because of the dark secret the blissful and untouched village hides. It also has a much more somber feel and isn’t a film to take lightly. I liked how the film subverted the usual Christian vs. Pagan dynamic and made the pagans vicious instead of their usual hippie-dippy selves.

Speaking of viciousness, the film also boasts some wicked medieval battle scenes, complete with swords, maces, axes and even an iron maiden, among other torture devices. Despite the bloodshed being far and in-between, I was surprised how bloody the film actually was, especially in contrast to the subdued tone of the film and stark beauty of the cinematography.

The film looks stunning, from the cobblestoned streets of medieval Europe to the dark woods the characters travel through to the sun-dabbled village they finally arrive at. The mostly cold and bleak visuals echo the overall ominous atmosphere of the film. The grand scope of the cinematography makes me wish I had seen Black Death in a theater, but even on the smaller screen its grandiose scope wasn’t lost.

I liked the storyline because it had an epic feel and because of the themes it explored. As mentioned previously, I liked how the Christian vs. Pagan dynamic was flipped, with the pagans persecuting the Christians instead of the other way around. I also liked how the film showed unwavering faith in the characters as they were faced with temptations and challenges. The film ends on a brutal, downbeat note that was definitely disturbing and shows how evil can corrupt even the most faithful.

The actors gave performances equally intense to the storyline and visuals. Sean Bean is especially good as the God-fearing Ulric, but I also liked Eddie Redmayne’s performance as the conflicted Osmund. In my opinion, though, Carice van Houten stole the show as the village’s necromancer Langiva.

Director Christopher Smith has crafted another unique film with Black Death and is definitively one of the most versatile directors of the horror genre. He gave us the spooky Creep, the darkly humorous Severance, the intense Triangle and now the bleak Black Death. His films are always engaging, entertaining and original, and Black Death is no exception.

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Make-Out with Violence (2010)

Zombie movies are usually brainless (ahem, pardon the pun) but fun romps in the horror world. However, lately many have become disenchanted by the subgenre, usually forgoing seeing a zombie film with the assumption that it’ll be like all the rest, with nothing new or interesting to contribute. For most films, these assumptions would be correct. However, the zombie film Make-Out with Violence is an entirely different animal and takes the zombie film to amazing emotional depths.

Make-Out with Violence tells the story of twin brothers Patrick (Eric Lehning) and Carol Darling (Cody DeVos), newly graduated from high school and struggling to come to terms with the mysterious disappearance of their friend, the bright and beautiful Wendy Hearst. When a drive through the countryside surrounding their posh suburban community leads to the discovery of Wendy’s mysteriously animated corpse, the boys secretly transport the zombie Wendy to an empty house in hopes of somehow bringing her back to life. As the sweltering summer pushes on, they must maintain the appearance of normalcy for their friends and family as they search for ways to revive the Wendy they once knew, or, failing that, to satisfy their own quests for love amongst the living and the dead.

Make-Out with Violence feels more of like a drama rather than a horror film, and in fact focuses more on the trauma of growing up instead of inundating us with blood, guts and hordes of zombies. In fact, there is only one zombie in the movie, the lovely in life and death Wendy, and there are only a few instances where she is really scary. In fact, most of the time she just lays there, staring at nothing with her glazed-over eyes (until she tries to move, and then her jerky movements will send shivers up your spine).

You might be thinking that the plot line of teens keeping a pretty girl zombie as a “pet” sounds an awful lot like Deadgirl, which is what I thought before viewing the film. However, Make-Out with Violence takes an entirely different route than Deadgirl. The boys don’t ever sexually exploit the living corpse, but instead take careful care of her and try to get her to do normal things, like sit at a dinner table and eat some birthday cake. Instead of being shocking, vulgar and offensive like Deadgirl, Make-Out with Violence is a much more subtle film on the loss of innocence and growing up, with no less traumatizing results.

I also thought that all the actors did an amazing job. You really believed what they were going through and came to relate to them, especially through their unrequited loves. Eric Lehning and Cody DeVos were the standouts as the Darling twins. They expressed so many different emotions as their characters went through so much. Special mention must also be made of Brett Miller, who played the twins younger brother Beetle. For his young age, he was very impressive! Leah High was commendable as Addy, the twins long-time friend and Carol’s love interest. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the lovely Shellie Marie Shartzer, who played Wendy. Though she is silent and still most of the movie, she does an excellent job conveying the hopelessness of her situation and just how truly changed she is from when she was alive.

This is the first feature film from the Deagol Brothers, which I never would have guessed from watching Make-Out with Violence because it looks so stunning and polished. The visuals perfectly captured the bittersweet feeling of summertime, from singing cicadas to melty milkshakes. The melancholy feel and dreamy-like visuals reminded me of the film The Virgin Suicides, which also explored death and the malaise of summertime.

Make-Out with Violence isn’t for everyone, and if you go into it expecting a regular, run-of-the-mill zombie flick you’ll probably be disappointed. However, if you don’t mind introspective and intelligent films that are beautifully haunting and heartfelt, you just might want to cozy up with Make-Out with Violence.

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Hellgate (1989)

Hellgate has got to be one of the worst, all-over-the-place horror films I’ve ever seen! From the weird gags to groan-worthy jokes to the silly ghost/zombie/ghost town/magical crystals/revenge storylines that crisscross the mess of the movie, I was shaking my head is disbelief most of its running time. However, though there is no doubt this is a horribly bad movie, it still has a certain charm to it.

The film opens with a bunch of college kids on vacation who have rented a cabin in the woods. While they wait for their last friend to arrive, they tell scary stories, including the local tale of the Hellgate Hitchhiker. In the 1950s, a motorcycle gang kidnapped poodle skirt cutie Josie (apparently, poodle skirts use that rip-away technology that stripper clothes utilize!) and took her to the town of Hellgate. No one besides her dad tries to help her, which results in him killing her by accident. Years later, the father still grieves for his daughter but when a crystal is found that appears to reanimate the dead (and make turtles moo like cows or make the newly undead explode or liquefy passerby), he decides to bring back his precious daughter and get revenge on everyone. Josie now haunts Hellgate’s back roads and tries to lure unsuspecting strangers back to Hellgate, which has become a ghost town.

Meanwhile, it turns out the buddy of the college kids gets lost on the way to the cabin and is seduced by Josie (who strikes weird poses like she’s a newbie on American’s Next Top Model or something), but gets away right before her father zaps him with the crystal’s laser beam (I’m not making this up). He finally makes it to the cabin but convinces his friends to return to Hellgate in case Josie needs help. There they are greeted by the rest of the undead denizens of Hellgate…

This movie is flippin’ all over the place and from the first couple of scenes there is TONS to make fun of (Josie’s lame attempts at escape from the bikers, her black granny panties, the fact that no one helps when she is kidnapped, not even a guy with a big-ass shotgun (!), the silly scene where she is killed when a motorcycle crashes through a brick wall she just happened to be standing in front of – and this was only 5 minutes into the movie!!). The silliness only continues from there…some of it good (the banter between the college kids), some of it groan-inducing (ahem, the mooing turtle).

Despite its weird charm, the film still seems confused as to what it really is – sometimes it plays it straight, other times it plays it outrageous, and it tries to cram way too many sub-genres (ghosts, haunted towns, zombies, etc.) into its already silly story. For the most part it doesn’t work and I was rolling my eyes more than I was laughing or enjoying myself. However, this film is such a disaster I couldn’t look away! Its over-the-top nature (Zombie can-can dancers! Copious scenes of glass breaking in slow-mo! Tons of shots of Josie lying in bed pouting over the escaped college student while her nipple pokes through a huge wine stain on her dress! The crystal’s laser making things go all explody!) and straight-up weirdness kept me watching ‘til the bitter end.

Besides just laughing at the bizarre nature of the film, I will say that the zombie make-up, especially in the scene with the cars (these zombies can drive…but in this movie I guess anything is possible), is pretty kick ass. The scene itself, with the zombies starting to crowd around the college students, is one of the few well-done scenes in the film and really stands out against the rest of the trashiness of the rest of the movie.

If you are looking for a truly BAD movie to torture your friends and neighbors with that you can still laugh it, a good option may be Hellgate. At least you can have a few laughs in between the eye rolling and the exasperated sighs. However, under no circumstances would this ever be considered a GOOD movie! Thank god this was the last film for BOTH director William A. Levey and writer Michael O’Rourke!

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Book Review: Brains - A Zombie Memoir by Robin Becker

“Professor Jack Barnes has a new passion: Brains. It’s in his nature…he’s a zombie. But Barnes has something most other victims of the zombie apocalypse don’t have: sentience. In fact, he can even write. And the story he has to tell is truly disturbing – yet strangely heartwarming.

Convinced he’ll bring about the peaceful co-existence between zombies and humans if he can demonstrate his unique condition to Howard Stein, the man responsible for the zombie virus, Barnes sets off on a grueling cross-country journey to meet his maker. Along the way he recruits a small army of “super” zombies that will stop at nothing to reach their goal. There’s Guts, the agile, dread-locked boy who can run like the wind; Joan, the matronly nurse adept at reattaching decaying appendages; Annie, the young girl with a fierce quick-draw; and Ros, who can actually speak. Together they make their way through an eerie new world of roving zombie hunters and empty McMansions on a quest to attain what all men, women – and apparently zombies – yearn for: equality.”

Brains: A Zombie Memoir is an entertaining, intelligent, bloody, and yes, even touching novel that puts zombies in a totally new light. Author Robin Becker weaves a delightful narrative as we follow the rag-tag, decomposing group of zombies across America as they try to make sense of their un-life. My first thought when reading? Why hasn’t anyone else done this before?! Of course, we’ve seen intelligent zombies in a few films and books, but I’ve never read anything that comes close to Brains before! I mean, Brains has brains! The exploration of the zombie perspective is fun, ferocious and phenomenal!

I absolutely loved every second of the gut-munching and bone-crushing Brains. Becker writes with a sure-fire confidence and fluidity all the while infusing the text with witty pop culture-isms. Her characters were also well-developed and her zombies had more life and personality than many human characters in other horror novels!

If you are a zombie lover, you won’t want to miss Brains!

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Book Review: Incarnadine - The True Memoirs of Count Dracula Vol. 1 by R.H. Greene

In the richly descriptive Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One, we are given a detailed account of the man that will come to be known as Count Dracula in his early years. We see what life was like for “Konstantin Kuzmanov” when he was a man and experience his life as a soldier during the Ottoman Empire, then his conversion to pious priest and witness his falling in love, only to see him lose his one true love and his subsequent defiance of the heavens that transforms him into one of the undead. During this transformation he takes several companions with him, three which survive and become his infamous “brides”. Incarnadine tells of Dracula’s early origins in Medieval Eastern Europe and author R.H. Greene fills the imaginative tome with historical fact, including religion, rule and superstitions, all of which make for a wondrous backdrop to the philosophical, religious, emotional and physical challenges the future Count Dracula encounters.

The novel is beautifully written by Greene, and has a rather bittersweet, melancholy tone that runs throughout. You really get a sense of Kuzmanov/Dracula’s point of view in Incarnadine, a perspective that runs much deeper and more philosophical than most books based on Bram Stoker’s character of Dracula. Since the book covers a large span of time, there are lots of profound and major events that occur, all of which add to the grand legend of Count Dracula. For example, at one point the newly undead vampire, distraught over what he has become, turns into a grand oak tree for a period of years. Yes, yes, I know how that sounds but instead of being outlandish and silly, author Greene makes the event a very poignant one.

Greene also weaves Slavic myth and legends throughout the novel, making it seem that much more realistic. Some of it (like the tree passage, mentioned above) seems straight out of a Brothers Grimm tale, but it is also nice to see some of the familiar vampire lore and superstition (crosses, the ability to shapeshift, the ability to control animals, sun sensitivity, etc.) peppered throughout the book. So while this particular book shows a wholly new perspective on Dracula, it still keeps some of the familiar vampire tropes and goes a step further by explaining their origins.

Indeed, there is so much both old and new going on in Incarnadine that I’m glad that these memoirs have been broken in two volumes. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading the second volume (though I hear it has already been written), but I eagerly look forward to it, as it picks up with Jonathan Harker paying Dracula a visit at his castle home in the Carpathian Mountains.

Incarnadine is a thoughtful, exciting and wholly engrossing novel that sheds new light on vampire lore and lets us experience the grand legend of Count Dracula through his own eyes. It has its share of gross-out gore (in particular, the description of some of the “brides” is cringe-worthy), but overall the novel delves into more profound, philosophical territory. If you like your vampire stories with a little more bite, I highly encourage you to check out Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One.

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Book Review: Dead America by Luke Keioskie

Dead America is nitty-gritty look at the stitched-up underbelly of America after there’s no more room in hell and the dead are forced to walk to earth. Except these zombies don’t like to eat brains and aren’t just shambling hordes of rotting flesh. These undead want equal rights and to be treated the same as people who are alive. This is now a world where embalming is a required surgical procedure and rich Dead Americans have plastination procedures to keep themselves looking alive. Yet relations between the living and the undead are shaky at best. The living think the “necros” or “neccers” are stealing their jobs and don’t deserve the same rights as those still breathing. The dead, on the other hand, feel like they are being used and abused, especially since it’s not a crime to kill an undead and necrophilia is legal. And now to top it all off someone has turned up dead (really, truly dead, not “undead”) further straining relations between living and dead Americans.

Take a look at the book’s description:

Life is tough in America. Especially when you’re dead.

Faraday thought finding a runaway girl would be easy money. But when the girl turns up dead – the first American in decades who hasn’t revived as a zombie – Faraday must hit the streets to find her killer.

Standing in his way are undead gangbangers, a police fore rife with bigotry and lifism, and the zombie crime lord of Harlem. But with the help of a necrophilic pathologist, a severed head named Dorothy and a reporter that would literally give her right arm for a story, Faraday must discover why the dead girl didn’t come back to life. And he better be quick before the animosity between the living and the dead sparks a riot that could burn New York City to the ground. 

In a country where afterlife is the same as life before death, can anyone really live at all? 

There are tons of zombie novels out there, but none that I have read have been as unique as Luke Keioskie’s Dead America. Besides its clever take on zombies, it’s got witty, quick-paced dialogue, memorable characters and the grittiest setting of all, New York City! It reads like a hardboiled, gumshoe noir novel but has the added intrigue of a world where Death lives next to the living every day!

I loved the political and social commentary Keioskie infused into the novel. It covers everything from crooked cops to racism, bigotry and intolerance to corrupt corporations and so on. Yet these messages never feel heavy-handed, they are just facts of life in the brave new undead world Keioskie has created.
Besides the nice touches of social relevance in the book, there is also unlimited action! From Faraday’s battles with two hulking twins named Dutch and Butch, to his clever quips with undead reporter Alison Kastle and and run-ins with both the cops and undead gangster Grandpa Hob, there really isn’t a dull moment in the fast-paced book! I also enjoyed all the colorful characters like unsavory forensics expert Conroy who enjoys leering at undead women, vicious undead gangbangers called z-boys, an undead witness who is nothing but a severed head, a gorgeous undead wealthy woman who hires Faraday for another case and so on. The book is just filled to the brim with memorable characters!

Dead America is a wonderfully peculiar read, combining a gritty detective story with plenty of dark comedy and gruesome set pieces. If you love zombie stories but are craving something besides the same stale old brains, you owe it to yourself to check out the revolutionary Dead America!

Visit the Dead America website (worth the visit just for the fake ads alone!!)!

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Dead Air (2009)

If you’ve ever been involved in any sort of disaster, natural or man-made, I’m sure you remember the details vividly. From the unsettling first seconds to the terrifying moments that seem to stretch on forever to the panic that settles in once the dust cleared, any kind of catastrophe is hard too forget! For example, I can clearly remember being in a large earthquake as a kid (it was freaky!) and I’m sure everyone remembers where they were on 9/11. There is just no way to ever forget those feelings of dread and fear.

Well, the film Dead Air taps into the feelings of panic, loss and chaos that occur during a sudden catastrophe. Except that this catastrophe isn’t just any natural disaster, but an organized terrorist bio-attack in every major city in the United States that infects its victims and turns them violent and dangerous. Did I mention it also has the power to bring them back from the dead?

Enter shock jock DJ Logan (Bill Moseley) as he hosts another late-night show on the air. He is joined in the studio by his co-host Gil (David Moscow), producer Lucy (Patricia Tallman) and tech Burt (Joshua Feinman). In the midst of their broadcast, they begin getting strange calls from listeners saying that all hell has broken loose. Apparently, terrorists have targeted major U.S. cities and released some kind of bio-toxin into the air, turning victims extremely violent and even resurrecting them after death. As Logan grapples with the severe situation unfolding outside and across the U.S. while delivering any information to his listeners, he also must face that fact that he is separated from his family by hordes of the infected. He doesn’t only have the infected to fear, though, because the terrorists who released the toxin in his city are converging on the radio station as well…

Dead Air is directed by Corbin Bernsen, probably best known in horror for his role in The Dentist. Bernsen delivers a tense, smart and scary horror film that taps into American’s fears of terrorist attacks. Though the infected in the film are vicious, fast and blood-thirsty, the action is more focused on Logan and what happens inside the radio station. This gives the film a more psychologically terrifying feel as we listen to callers who talk to Logan as beg for help while they are chased by zombie hordes. There is also a whole angle on Logan trying to reach his wife and child on the phone, hoping that they are safe, while debating to leave the safety of the radio station to go search for them. I also enjoyed the side story that followed the terrorists who planted the bomb in Logan’s town as they sought refuge in the radio station building. Kudos to writer Kenny Yakkel, as all of these different tenets led to a very suspenseful, enjoyable film.

Also adding to the success of the film was Bill Moseley’s layered performance as Logan. He first comes off as a prick, as most shock-rock DJ’s are wont to be, but when the excrement hits the fan he shows compassion and concern for his fellow Americans. We also see his strong dedication to his family and how well he performs under pressure. The rest of the cast do a great job as well, and it was a joy seeing Patricia Tallman (Night of the Living Dead remake) in a genre film again! I also enjoyed David Moscow’s portrayal as Logan’s slapstick sidekick and how his demeanor went from kooky to courageous as events unfolded.

Of course, your first reaction to hearing zombies and radio station under siege is to think of the great film Pontypool, but though their descriptions are similar Dead Air is slightly different in terms of tone. Dead Air tackles some heavier issues of discrimination, racism and our biased views on Muslims and people of Middle Eastern lineage. It also plays upon our fears and paranoia (an issue that Logan is discussing on-air when all hell breaks loose). Unfortunately, while this social relevance to current issues really amped up my interest in the film, some people may find the messages somewhat heavy-handed. And by the third act of the film it becomes so heavy-handed that it feels like someone is bludgeoning you with a phone book. I, for one, enjoyed the social commentary, though, and even the bland third act couldn’t really disrupt my love for this movie.

Dead Air is an intelligent horror film that really shouldn’t be overshadowed by its shallow similarities to Pontypool. It offers many smart observations on people’s motivations and human nature in response to chaos and keeps you on your toes with its engaging storyline and varied characters. I’m not sure why its release was delayed so long (it was supposed to see a nation-wide theatrical release in 2007 but was only just released straight-to-DVD recently), but it’s well worth your time!

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Grace (2009)

I’ve been looking forward to Paul Solet’s full-feature Grace ever since I saw his short of the same name. Grace deals with a lot of my biggest fears – pregnancy, children, motherhood, etc. As a woman, the prospect of pregnancy scares the poo outta me and is one of the many reasons I don’t want to have kids. Also, the alien nature of babies just creeps me out, what with their big googly eyes, babbling language, constant crying and incessant hunger, not to mention how much self-sacrifice goes into raising a child. Grace taps into these fears and more, but its not just to unnerve women…men will also be very perturbed by Grace’s turn of events.

Grace tells the story of Madeline (Jordan Ladd) and Michael (Stephen Park), a married couple trying to conceive a baby. When Madeline finally gets pregnant, she is determined to deliver the baby au natural with a midwife instead of going to a hospital, much to the chagrin of her meddling and traditional mother-in-law, Vivian (Gabrielle Rose). Madeline is also a committed vegan and is very eco-conscious, which irks Vivian even more.

Madeline and Michael joyously await the birth of their baby girl, but a tragic car accident leaves both her husband and her unborn baby dead. Against the wishes of her midwife, Patricia (Samantha Ferris), and mother-in-law, Madeline decides to carry the infant to term. When the baby is delivered, it miraculously comes back to life and Madeline names her Grace.

Madeline dotes on Grace, but she soon notices there’s something not quite right with the baby. Grace attracts flies, smells a bit funky, gets bleeding sores on her skin and seems to prefer human blood to breast milk…

Soon, Vivian starts to nag Madeline about seeing her precious granddaughter and even going so far as to send the family doctor, Richard Sohn (Malcolm Stewart), to check up on her. With Grace craving more and more blood, though, Madeline isn’t exactly ready to show her off. Patricia starts poking around too, concerned about her friend but more interested in putting the moves on the new baby momma. As Madeline deals with the mounting external pressure of intruders, she also tries her best to satiate the hungry Grace…but she soon realizes that her own blood will not be enough to satisfy the bloodthirsty babe…

While more subdued and slower-paced than the shocking short, this feature-length Grace still packs a punch. The woman-centric issues of pregnancy and self-sacrificing motherhood are rarely featured in horror, so it’s nice to see these addressed. The prospect of going through a pregnancy and giving birth to another person is scary enough, but think of if your baby was born…unnatural…how much would you sacrifice for them then? The bond between a mother and child are strong, so like Madeline, I’m willing to bet you would sacrifice everything and anything for them. Madeline breaks her own ethical beliefs to ensure that Grace gets what she hungers for…blood…and is prepared to stop anyone that would try to take her baby away. Sacrifice and a mother’s bond to her child are just a few of the many themes explored in Grace and are among the many intelligent layers to this intriguing film.

Though Grace isn’t your “typical” horror film, the script and story are smart and I squeamishly enjoyed its many different layers, including the “meat is murder” subtext that peppers the film (the real footage of animals being slaughtered/tortured will unnerve many). The character of Madeline was well-written as she was strong, resolute and firm in all her beliefs – beliefs that would soon be challenged by her bloodthirsty monster of an infant. And yet, the film never falls into being an exploitative “killer baby” picture, but maintains a somber, tragic and straightforward tone throughout its running time.

Jordan Ladd absolutely glows as Madeline. Her portrayal of a mother who will do whatever it takes to care for her child felt incredibly realistic, even though Ladd herself has never had any children. The fact that she was able to tap into such a maternal role is amazing in of itself, but she actually made us care about the heartbreaking tragedy of her situation. In fact, all of the women in the film portrayed very strong, maternal roles. Gabrielle Rose as mother-in-law Vivian had her own psychological issues, including being obsessed with being a mother and wanting to breast feed again though she was now a grandma. Rose played the condescending Vivian with a “mother-knows-best” vibe that will make your skin crawl. Even the knowledgeable midwife Patricia, in a commanding performance by Samantha Ferris, was concerned with Madeline and was constantly checking up on her, though most of that came from personal feelings she still had for Madeline; the two used to be lovers in college. Each and every one of the female characters was written to be a strong woman, which is quite refreshing for a horror film! The men, on the other hand, were mainly secondary characters or villains, as is the case with the creepy Dr. Richard Sohn, played by Malcolm Stewart, who almost orders Madeline induced early after she starts having chest pains…until Patricia intervenes. And Dr. Sohn gives Madeline one of the most intrusive and disturbing home exams I’ve been unfortunate enough to witness! It is always a pleasure to see a horror movie that features smart, caring women as the main characters instead of just relegating them to T & A shots or “scream queen” roles.

Besides excelling at writing a compelling script and engaging characters, Solet’s direction is also impeccable. The sharp contrast between the early scenes that are bathed in bright sunshine and warm colors and later scenes where shots are veiled in shadows, sickly greens and muted colors complements the accompanying action perfectly. There are also great shots showing Grace’s room adorned with fly traps and the birthing scene itself is quite traumatic.

Solet has taken a dramatic turn away from the current crop of immediate, in-your-face mainstream “horror” that scares with jumpy editing and fake frights. Instead, he has crafted a restrained film that manages to crawl under your skin and squirm there, increasing the discomfort until the satisfying finale. It’s not a perfect film by any means, and is definitely not for everyone, but it is a very well-done and quiet character study that shows off Solet’s skill as both as a writer and director as well as the amazing range of its actors.

Grace slowly gestates, until it ripens from quiet character study to full-blown horror show. If you can enjoy the slowly unfolding dread, Grace definitely delivers.

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I Sell the Dead (2009)

I have always loved the evocative atmosphere of old horror films. You know the ones – they always seem to feature fog-shrouded cemeteries, an ominous score, stark trees silhouetted against an October moon and just a deliciously macabre feel to them. So when I heard about I Sell the Dead, a film that promised the same kind of spooky atmosphere combined with a morbid buddy comedy, I was definitely eager to see it.

The tongue-in-cheek horror comedy definitely lived up to my expectations, even surpassing them at times. Not only is the romantically macabre atmosphere of old horror films perfectly captured, but the story is gleefully unique with a good heaping of gallows humor thrown in for good measure!

The film is told in flashback form, but opens in the present 1800’s Ireland with convicted grave robber Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) meeting an unkindly end at the guillotine. His partner, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), is awaiting a similar fate when he is visited by Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), a rather odd priest who seems to take unusual delight in hearing all about Blake and Grime’s misdeeds. For five hours before his scheduled execution, Blake recounts how he fell into the corpse snatching business with Grimes, their ghoulish client Dr. Vernon Quint (Angus Scrimm) who always needed fresh corpses for his mysterious experiments, the many unusual “undead” things he and Grimes were paid to dig up and their unfortunate run-ins with the House of Murphy, a rival grave robbing gang.

I Sell the Dead is no doubt one of the best horror films I’ve seen all year! I really think 19^th century Ireland, with its bawdy bars, decrepit old cemeteries, moon-lit back alleys, desolated moors and strange isles populated by the undead, was the perfect setting for the film. It definitely captured that old Hammer horror atmosphere, giving the film a nostalgic feel. What’s even more amazing is because of a small budget the movie was filmed in New York! When there wasn’t enough money to construct elaborate sets, existing locations were used (such as for the pub used in the film) and backgrounds and such were added in by computer effects and mixed art media like photography, painting and illustration. Yet, when you watch the film, it is absolutely seamless!

Besides the nostalgic look of the film, the story, written by Glenn McQuaid (who also directed) is also absolutely delightful. As I watched the story unfold, I was just as gleeful as a kid on Christmas morning! When was the last time you saw a film that made you want to crow its praises from rooftops? Besides the fact that the story keeps popping up with surprises as to what Grimes and Blake would dig up next, the whole repartee between Grimes and Blake reminded me of Abbott and Costello-style shenanigans. There is some slapstick, but most of it is witty banter. Even the dialogue between other characters, especially Blake and Father Duffy, is very playful. The whole story has this irreverent, imaginative feel to it, but it is not without its moments of horror. Though the undead they encounter are more cartoonish than serious, there are several nice jolts throughout the film. I especially enjoyed a discovery of a vampire, though the two main characters had no idea what they had dug up and proceeded to remove the garlic around the undead’s neck as well as removing a stake through her heart. As a result, hilarity and horror ensues. Even the addition of the not-undead-but-still-damn-scary House of Murphy gang was pleasurable and added another dimension to an already colorful film!

The characters are fancifully drawn, with even the lesser characters being fully fleshed out. Besides the main characters of Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) and Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), I loved the menacing members of the House of Murphy, including Cornelius Murphy (John Speredakos) with his grim childhood at the hands of the cruel Murphy senior, Valentine Kelly (Heather Bullock) whose face was so disfigured by a fire that she now wears a blank, white mask that she only removes when she is about to kill someone and Bulger (Alisdair Stewart) whose toothy maw is full of razor-sharp dog teeth. Then, of course, is the sinister Dr. Quint (Angus Scrimm), who keeps demanding more and more bodies from Grimes and Blake and corpulent barkeep Ronnie (Joel Garland), among the many memorable faces! Plus, all of the actors delivered stellar performances. I have to make special mention of Daniel Manche, who played the young Arthur Blake! Hats off to the rest of the excellent cast, including a rather gleeful performance from the “Tall Man” himself, Angus Scrimm!

I really cannot speak highly enough of I Sell the Dead. It is a whimsically macabre film that will delight and entertain all horror fans. So far, I Sell the Dead is one of my favorite films from 2009!

Available from Amazon!

Frightmare (1983)

Not to be confused with the 1974 English cannibal film of the same name, Frightmare (aka The Horror Star) is the story of recently deceased horror veteran Conrad Radzoff (Ferdinand Mayne) who claims that death will be his best performance yet! The night after he is entombed into his specially constructed mausoleum (complete with a blinking neon star), a group of drama students break into the crypt and decide to take old Conrad back to their place for some partying! After a creepy dinner with the diners all wearing masks, they each take turns dancing with the corpse and one girl even goes to far as to smooch him! They put Conrad back into his coffin, but are too tuckered out to take him back to his final resting place, so they just put him in their attic and call it a night.

The next morning the cops discover Conrad is missing from the mausoleum and his widow enlists the help of a psychic medium to find out where he is. Turns out he’s in hell, but is hellbent on returning and getting revenge on the young whippersnappers that disturbed his slumber. His widow heartily agrees, saying, “Burn them! Burn them! BURN THEM!”

Having been summoned, Conrad rises from the dead and stalks the kids in the house, killing them one by one.

What is so interesting about Frightmare is that it tries to bridge the gap from Gothic-tinged Hammer horror (think fog-shrouded cemeteries, genteel-looking old men in Dracula capes, damsels in distress) with the kids-being-stalked-by-an-unstoppable-killer slasher formula. I liked the “classic horror” atmosphere of the film, but the slasher aspect felt a bit off. The story had some holes (a cop, who looks more like a mafia don, keeps popping up but doesn’t add anything to the story), pacing problems, awful dialogue (“We did something BAD!”) and the kills left a lot to be desired. Even though the result is a mixed bag, this seemingly strange combination of old and new horror styles makes Frightmare worth a look anyway.

The film was written and directed by Norman Thaddeus Vane and one good thing about his script is that he spent more time developing the character of Conrad Ragzoff than he did the kids’ characters. I felt much more empathy for Conrad than I did any of the annoying college kids, who exist mostly to get picked off. Conrad is one of the best things about the film, and the character is obviously an homage to Christopher Lee. Actor Ferdinand Mayne even resembles Lee and has the same kind of aristocratic air as he does.

Speaking of Mayne, he was truly a joy to watch in this role, especially in the opening scenes when he is still alive and in the videos he leaves behind for the funeral and those that appear to greet visitors to his crypt. Another actor to note in the film is Jeffrey Combs, who plays one of the clueless kids in one of his earlier roles. Most of the actors who play the college drama students don’t have much to do, but they all do a pretty good job of playing stupid and dying horribly. Even the “Final Girl”, just sits around and whimpers and only survives because she faints dead away at the sight of the resurrected Conrad.

As for the deaths, Conrad kills most of the kids with telekinetic powers rather than with his bare hands. One girl spontaneously combusts into a fireball, another girl gets squashed by a flying coffin, a guy gets locked in Conrad’s crypt as it fills with poisonous gas, another guy gets decapitated by a flying sword, and so on. The only “hands-on” deaths occur when a guy gets his tongue/jaw ripped out and then strangled, a woman gets her mouth stuffed with a wad of cash and another guy gets stuffed into a coffin and burnt alive in the crematorium. It was disappointing that the deaths weren’t at all gory (especially since at least half of the film was trying for that slasher vibe), but it wasn’t a deal-breaker. Instead, the film treated the deaths in the more restrained, classic horror tradition instead of going all-out like a slasher flick.

Still, there are some pretty silly scenes throughout the film besides the previously mentioned death scenes. One was the partying scene where the kids pass around Conrad’s corpse like he’s a party favor, which is so disturbing it borders on ludicrous! Another more “laugh-out-loud” scene is the over-the-top séance scene where Conrad’s widow and psychic medium are trying to contact the dead Conrad. The ladies put on such hysterical performances here that I dare you not to laugh! The film also features some god-awful music and sound effects that sound just like one of those cheap Halloween party CD’s, complete with howling and growling.

Frightmare has a lot of issues and I think it would have a lot of problems connecting with horror fans today. Still, it is an interesting little movie that tries to combine old-school horror with the slasher formula. Sometimes it doesn’t succeed, but it is still interesting enough to check out, especially if you love Gothic-tinged horror movies. Though Frightmare isn’t a “must-see” for all horror fans, those that appreciate both the old and new aspects of horror filmmaking may just find themselves enjoying it like I did!

Buy it on Amazon!

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

Where can you find horrible 80’s ballads, a rock star that is a pedophile, Nazis, deformed midgets, zombies, a grandma that transforms into a werewolf, bad 80’s metal hair, music video montages, Adolf Hitler and limber but evil groupies? Hard Rock Zombies, that’s where, one of the worst films ever made!

In the opening scene, a dirty-looking blond hitchhiker (Lisa Toothman), who looks like she’s wearing nothing but a scrap of shower curtain, gets picked up by two skeevy lamebrains. Two seconds later they’ve pulled off for a bit of skinny dipping in a scum-encrusted pond where Dirty Blond drowns both dudes. Who knew drowning produced so much blood? A weird guy who was taking pictures the whole time and his pet midgets (one with a patch over one eye and the other looking more like a creature from Ghoulies) join Dirty Blond in disposing of the bodies…but not before Dirty Blond cuts one of the victim’s hands off and croons, “I wanna hold your hand!”

After this preposterous opening scene we join “the band” onstage as they perform for their 12 groupies. After the long and drawn-out song, they head backstage, strip to their skivvies and pose for pics with more groupies! Lead singer and perv Jessie (E.J. Curcio) becomes enamored of the very young-looking Cassie (Jennifer Coe), who not only looks like she’s 12, but also looks like she’s got caterpillars glued over her already bushy Groucho Marx-like eyebrows. Cassie tries to warn Jessie that his band shouldn’t play their next gig in her podunk town, but Jessie is too smitten to pay attention.

On the way to Cassie’s town Jessie practices his newest song, which he’s borrowed from a medieval incantation that was used to raise the dead. Great idea, bonehead!

The band picks up Dirty Blond, who is out hitchhiking again (what a strange pastime…) and she tells them to stay at her family’s spacious Southern-style mansion. Once they arrive they meet with the creepy midgets and the rest of Dirty Blond’s strange family, including her grandparents who let the creepy midgets watch while they have geriatric sex, a hulking, bald man who is either her brother or the gardener (he’s quite handy with the weed whacker) and the paparazzo-in-training from the pond.

After they’ve stashed all their equipment, the band heads into town and we are forced to suffer another horrible musical number – and, hey, this one’s a montage complete with band members skateboarding, scaring kids by spraying them with shaken cans of beer, dancing like idiots, posing in a gigantic wood cut-out of themselves and hamming it up while disapproving townsfolk look on. The band gets thrown in jail for being so lame, but Dirty Blond bails them out.

After almost getting electrocuted while playing another horrible song in front of their hosts, the band eats it for real at the hands of Dirty Blond’s psycho family. Dirty Blond herself takes out a guy in the shower, while grandma turns into a werewolf(!) and mauls two other band members and Jessie is taken out by baldy with the weed whacker, but not before he gives Cassie his tape for his new dead-raising single!

After the funeral, it is revealed that the members of Dirty Blond’s family are all Nazis in hiding and that her grandpa is actually the Grand Fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler! Hitler has a hidden bunker well-stocked with poisonous gas and plans to take out the entire U.S.!

Meanwhile, Cassie is visiting the band’s grave. She plays the tape Jessie left her and – sho ‘nuff – the band comes back to life as zombies – stiff, Robot-dancin’ zombies that look like a bad KISS cover band that is.

They kill Dirty Blond and her Nazi family (who return as zombies), then drive (yup, zombies can drive) across town so they can play a showcase and impress a record executive. While we are forced to listen to another god-awful song (the third time we hear it in the film), zombies are slowly overtaking the town. The remaining townsfolk think they can repel zombies by holding out huge posters of famous people…buuuut that idea doesn’t work too well and more people become the zombies’ lunch.

One old guy suggests offering the ghouls the town’s virgin, who just happens to be Cassie. Something about the zombies not attacking the town for another 100 years if they can screw and eat a virgin. Anywho, the townspeople haul Cassie up the mountain like a sacrificial lamb and offer her to the zombies.

It’s up to Jessie and the rest of the zombified band to save his jailbait lady love and to put a stop to the zombie nonsense once and for all…but not until we suffer through yet another musical number.

Whew! Apologies for such a long synopsis, but really I wanted you to get a complete gist of the insanity of this movie! And believe me, you haven’t heard anything yet! I have yet to mention the self-cannibalizing midget or the freaky dance montages that feature Dirty Blond. In case you haven’t noticed, this movie is all over the place and you’ll be asking yourself WTF did I just watch when you are through (if you can bear and get all the way to the end, that is).

First off, the puke-inducing music is not what anyone would call “hard rock.” It just sounds like the most generic, Monster Ballad-esque sap you’ve ever heard. And they just keep playing the same damn songs over and over. Plus, they’ve got the whole pedophile angle covered even in the lyrics, which actually say “I’m so in love, but you’re so young.” Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Totally groddy! Someone call Chris Hansen with To Catch a Predator!

Considering this was at one point just supposed to be a 20 minute short movie I understand all the padding used, but did they really have to keep showing such cheesy montages? First with the band “running wild” (errrr, if “wild” means consorting with a bunch of pudgy schoolkids, riding skateboards and doing a Beatle-esque type dance down the middle of a street) through the redneck town and later on with Jessie and Cassie running at each other in slow-mo both dressed in white! And who can forget Dirty Blond doing some kind of weird 80’s dancing, first randomly in the desert then as a slinky zombie minx (who knew zombies were so flexible?). You could fill 20 bottles of Cheez-Whiz with the cheesiness coming out of just these montage scenes alone!

Then there was the whole “what were they smoking?” plot addition of Nazis and werewolves! Seriously, did they think that a strictly zombie movie would be that boring and they needed a little extra Third Reich pizazz? I really don’t know what writer/director Krishna Shah and co-writer David Allen Ball (and no, they haven’t done all that much since this, ahem, “film”) were thinking when they unleashed this horribly bad movie on an unsuspecting audience, but if they were doing drugs while dreaming this film up then it would make for a perfect “this is your brain on drugs” PSA. Just say no, kids!

You’d think with such vivid imaginations some great gore would come out of all this, but sadly the only “gore” we get is blood that looks like it was squirted right out of a Heinz ketchup bottle. The kill scenes are pretty hysterical, though, especially when geysers of blood erupt during a drowning scene and that the zombiefied band kills Hitler by what looks like a ring-around-the-rosies game gone wrong.

The craziness of the Hard Rock Zombies makes some parts entertaining, but for the most part it’s a real snoozefest. The film looses what little momentum it had at about the one hour mark and all those musical numbers certainly make it seem much longer than it actually is. I might have even fallen asleep had the music not been so gratingly bad. Yet, this film is so bad that like Troll 2 it certainly deserves to be seen at least once…but once will definitely be enough. After that you’ll want to bury Hard Rock Zombies for good.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

Did you ever had to read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice for English class? Did you find yourself snoozing away while Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy slowly but surely fell in love? Did you wish that zombies, ninjas and bloody battles were a part of Austen’s novel? Well, wish no longer because author Seth Grahame-Smith has tweaked Austen’s classic book to include walking corpses, Shaolin-trained assassins and some sure-fire slaughter!

Grahame-Smith, who wrote the excellent How to Survive a Horror Movie, has injected a lot of action into Austen’s tome and this monster mash-up is perfect for romantics who like a little blood with their love. Grahame-Smith cleverly inserts zombie attacks, ninjas and the “unmentionables” into the polite English society of the Bennet’s and heroine Elizabeth Bennet isn’t just a smart, witty girl anymore…now she also kicks ass against hordes of zombies! She and her sisters have all been trained in the “deadly arts” of Shaolin and are relied upon to protect the countryside. An English regiment has also arrived in town to try and squelch the undead menace (as author Grahame-Smith says in an interview, “…we arrived at Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because, when you take a look at the original book, it’s almost as if, subconsciously, Jane Austen is laying out the perfect groundwork for an ultraviolent bone-crushing zombie massacre to take place. For instance, there’s a regiment of soldiers camped out near the Bennett household. In the book, they’re just there for characters to flirt with. But it’s not that big a leap to say, Okay, they’re there because the countryside has been overrun with what they call the ‘unmentionable menace.’”). Of course, lets not forget the societal mishaps the Bennet family experiences at the hands of the rakish Wickham, the amiable Mr. Bingley and the mysterious and misunderstood Mr. Darcy.  I loved how Grahame-Smith slightly changed Austen’s characters while still retaining their core personalities and actions. He made Elizabeth a highly trained zombie killer and gave other characters varying degrees of skill in fighting the undead. Even after all these changes the characters were still believable as “Jane Austen characters”.

I also loved the violence and gore that Grahame-Smith added! Talk about grabbing your attention! We’ve got half-decomposed corpses stumbling around that the Bennet sisters must dispose of…which usually results in a bloody, gory mess that stains their pretty gowns, not to mention the scandal it causes within the neighborhood! Not only are there zombies, but ninjas also stalk the pages of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Elizabeth has to battle several to prove her worth to Mr. Darcy’s aunt, the Lady de Bourgh. There are lots of wonderfully brutal and bloody scenes and Grahame-Smith really delivers on the gore! And yet, it seems to fit so seamlessly into the original context of the novel!

For Austen or classic literature fans that bemoan that this mash-up tramples all over their much cherished Pride and Prejudice, have no fear. Grahame-Smith masterfully combines his new vision with Austen’s classic. The result is subtle but startling and one thing is for sure…you’ll never look at a Jane Austen novel the same again!

I really can’t recommend Pride and Prejudice and Zombies highly enough. It still retains the biting wit of Austen’s classic work, but it also contains quite a few biting zombies. Seth Grahame-Smith has started an amazing new trend here, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us next! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is an absolute delight to read…perhaps high school students will be able to get away with reading this instead of Austen’s original!

Available from Amazon!

Cottonmouth (2008)

Need something to perk you up on this drab hump day? Need to kill some time at work or in-between classes? Looking for a surreal revenge story to watch? Well, I’ve got just the remedy for your case of the Wednesdays…

Christopher P. Garetano follows up his intriguing Horror Business documentary with Cottonmouth, a short film based on Stephen R. Bissette’s (Taboo, Swamp Thing) comic of the same name, which originally appeared in the underground horror comic Gore Shriek in 1986. Garetano read the comic at a young age and Cottonmouth stuck with him all these years.

And how lucky we all are that Garetano finally decided to adapt it for the screen!

Cottonmouth tells the tale of a group of ladies who return from their premature graves to seek revenge on the company executive that put them there with his company’s shoddy products.

Though Cottonmouth is a short film, its surreal visuals and revelation of just why the rotting-away ladies are so pissed make it a fine film! I loved the look of the film, with the wispy fog and ominously-colored background in shades of bruised purples, reds and blacks. The look of the rotting corpses was also very shocking and extremely well-done.

My favorite part, though, had to be the revelation of just what defective, toxic product killed the women! It’s a clever little surprise that you don’t expect but will appreciate!

The best part of Cottonmouth? You can check it out for FREE by going to cottonmouth.tv!! So take a few minutes to add some spark to your otherwise ho-hum day…check out Cottonmouth!!

Cottonmouth’s Official Site!

Book Review: Moonlight by Keith Knapp

Keith Knapp’s novel Moonlight takes the post-apocalyptic zombie story and turns it on its head, giving us a fresh and exciting new voice in horror fiction.

First, the electricity goes out. Then people find out that cars, cell phones, portable radios, watches and clocks have improbably stopped working. A darkness soon begins spreading across the Chicago area and surrounding suburbs. People are turning aggressive, violent and homicidal…and when they are killed, they just get right back up and attack again, moaning “No more room.”

With modern society crumbling, a dark man in a trench coat appears, intent on turning the world into his own personal playground of hell. A few survivors, including an alcoholic writer, a mayor, a psychiatrist, an artist and a pregnant woman, band together to try and stop the dark man from spreading his darkness any further…or is it already too late?

Moonlight is a very enjoyable and quick read, despite the seemingly long page length (the novel is 500 pages, but the spacing and font are pretty big, so no worries). Also, instead of taking a clichéd look at a post-apocalyptic world, Knapp shakes things up a bit with a different story that features plenty of twists. Also, the villain is very intimidating and the “zombies” (if you want to call them that, though these reanimated corpses are organized, retain their memories, can talk to and manipulate people and are basically puppets of the dark man in the trench coat) are vicious and scary, not at all like the aimless, shambling dead you’re probably used to.

The gore is also nicely done. Knapp uses very effective and descriptive passages to describe the ever-present carnage. The book if pretty graphic, so hardcore horror fans won’t be disappointed!

As for the characters, Knapp has the main characters developed enough so that you actually care about them. I found myself rooting for the rag-tag team and actually concerned that they make it out alive. There are also a few twists with some of the characters that will definitely surprise you! I also liked the realistic reactions the characters had to the world’s impending doom. No one had any easy answers and many characters made bad decisions that resulted in others’ deaths.

The story is well-written and expertly paced. There is never an instance of boredom and everything moves at a quick clip. I did feel like the big showdown at the end was a bit rushed and anticlimactic, but I was still pleased with the book overall.

My only other complaint isn’t with the story itself, but with the novel’s title, Moonlight, which doesn’t really make sense in the context of the story. I hate that it makes an otherwise excellent book sound like a teenybopper vampire novel!

Other than those quibbles, Moonlight was a very entertaining read! I highly recommend it to all horror fans that want quick and breezy reading material that doesn’t skimp on the gore.

Available on Amazon!

Book Review: Thunder and Ashes by Z.A. Recht

These days, zombie stories are a dime a dozen. It seems that just about every other horror book out there is about the walking dead. Authors must continually work harder to bring their fans something new and something they can really sink their teeth into.

Amidst all the zombie fiction, Z.A. Recht has unleashed his new installment in the Morningstar Strain series, entitled Thunder and Ashes. Thunder and Ashes is the sequel to Plague of the Dead and picks up three months after the end of the first book.

In this post-apocalyptic tale, most of humanity has been wiped out by the virulent Morningstar Strain, a virus that turns the infected into raging, cannibalistic flesh-eaters and reanimates the dead! Only small groups of survivors remain. One of these is a group of soldiers and civilians lead by General Sherman who is fighting its way across the country to get to Omaha to meet up with Dr. Anna Demillio, who may have the answer to infection.

Besides battling hordes of the undead, they must also fight off raiders who would kill them just for their supplies and a group of rogue government agents who are determined to kidnap Dr. Demillio so they can lay claim to her research for the vaccine.

Thunder and Ashes is a straightforward zombie tale that avoids social commentary or philosophical meanderings for a more direct and visceral approach. It’s a perfect summer read for when you need something that doesn’t require much thought (hey, I mean that in a good way!) and are just looking for some action to fill your time. We are treated to lots of skirmishes, not just with zombies (though those are fun, too) but also with other human beings. There is one passage in particular where the group lead by General Sherman faces off against a bunch of bandits and raiders that reminded me of a good ol’ Western shoot ‘em up!

The gore is also pretty cool throughout. There is everything from bloody zombie attacks to gunshot wounds to bombs going off and so on…All in all, lots of action going on most of the time! I also enjoyed how author Recht used both fast infected (“sprinters”) as well as slow, reanimated zombies (“shamblers”). The threat of the fast infected really added to the suspense and tension of the book!

On the down side, the character development in the book is weak and pretty much most of the characters are interchangeable. The dialogue all sounds the same and each character doesn’t have a strong enough voice to stand out amidst the large cast of characters. Also, the story isn’t that original and suffers a bit from clichés and stereotypical situations.

Still, Thunder and Ashes is an enjoyable and breezy read for zombie fans, even if you aren’t familiar with Recht’s first book in the series, Plague of the Dead. If you want an easy summer read that features plenty of blood and guts, check out Thunder and Ashes.

Available from Amazon!

The Living Dead Girl (1982)

Though I haven’t delved too deeply into Jean Rollin’s filmography, I have found the films of his I have seen to be quite poetic and darkly romantic. The Iron Rose was the first film of his I saw, and it entranced me with its gothic feel and dark poetry. After that, I eagerly sought out his other work, which led me to view The Grapes of Death, a film I found to be rather disappointing.

However, I recently viewed Rollin’s The Living Dead Girl (aka La Morte Vivante), which came highly recommended, and this film did not disappoint. Sticking to a more straightforward storyline and somewhat leaving his slow and hypnotizing filmmaking behind, Rollin brings us a film filled with gore, nudity and an enthralling Living Dead Girl.

The film opens with a couple of workers dumping barrels filled with toxic waste into an old crypt under a castle in the French countryside. While they are down there, they decide to do a little grave robbing as well. As they are prying open the coffin lids of two coffins, an earthquake causes the toxic chemicals to spill everywhere. While one grave robber gets killed by the stuff, another gets his eyes clawed out by the resurrected Catherine Valmont (Francoise Blanchard), who looks as fresh and pretty as the day she died two years ago!

She makes her way back to her castle, though her family is also dead and the place has been put on the market. She kills anyone that gets in her way, including a realtor and her boyfriend who come to the empty castle for some hanky-panky.

When her childhood friend and blood sister Helene (Marina Pierro) discovers Catherine is still alive, she rushes to her aid and vows to never leave her, helping her to kill people when Catherine craves their blood. Even while Helene tries to find a semblance of normality for the two of them, Catherine truly realizes what she is and begins lamenting her current undead condition.

Catherine’s secret becomes further threatened when an American actress photographs her and becomes intent on uncovering her identity.

Living Dead Girl is probably Jean Rollin’s most commercial and accessible film. His signature dream-like atmosphere is more muted in the film (though still present) and the plot moves along rather briskly for a Rollin film. The gore and nudity are also copious and occur often, as do the lesbian undertones (which are present in many of Rollin’s vampire films) between Helene and Catherine.

Catherine’s weapon of choice were her long, curved nails, with which she slashed and stabbed through many victims. Blood splattered, sprayed and streamed over the screen throughout the film. There’s plenty of violence, from a girl getting her stomach repeatedly slashed open to a man on fire. The most impressive gore sequence came towards the end, when someone’s throat is literally ripped out, and it was so prolonged that it made me squirm a little in my seat! There was also plenty of flesh exposed on which to splatter said blood. Gorehounds will delight in many of the blood-letting scenes!

Francoise Blanchard is amazing as Catherine Valmont. Her innocent blue eyes and angelic blond hair contrast nicely with the chaos that surrounds her. She is very much the victim as opposed to the monster in this film, and you really feel for her predicament. Marina Pierro also does a marvelous job as Helene, who just can’t seem to come to grips with what Catherine really is. Her steely resolve to protect her friend and the love she shows toward Catherine are very admirable traits, though near the end you wish she would just come to understand what Catherine is going through. The rest of the acting is respectable, even with the subplot involving the actress stumbling across Catherine’s secret.

Surprisingly, the subplot doesn’t feel unnecessary, but instead adds a bit more depth and drama to the story, written by Rollin and Jacques Ralf. As for the pacing, it moved at a quick clip, something that can’t be said for all of Rollin’s films. There are plot holes (including the freshness of Catherine’s corpse!), but they are easy to overlook when the film is viewed as a whole. I enjoyed how the story never took a decidedly “zombie” or “vampire” stance with Catherine’s resurrection, but straddled the two myths. Catherine is never named as a “zombie” or a “vampire,” but is merely “undead” and marries aspects from both. She drinks blood like a vampire but also stumbles around like a mindless zombie most of the film. In the end, the character works, which is all that really matters. The rest of the story, including Catherine’s mounting angst and Helene’s burgeoning frustration, works nicely with the ensuing chaos and catastrophe of Catherine’s “condition.”

The cinematography, done by Max Monteillet, was also stunning and the vistas used in the film were gorgeous. The Valmont’s castle was outfitted for a king and the surrounding fields and town were vibrant. The leads were beautiful as well, which completed the film’s rich palette. Visually speaking, each scene has something to grab your eye.

If you are looking to explore Jean Rollin’s work, Living Dead Girl is the most accessible place to start. Its straightforward story moves at a brisk pace, the acting is excellent, the gore is out of this world and the leads are beautiful (and you’ll get to see plenty of them throughout the film if you catch my drift). The film follows some genre guidelines (toxic spill awakens the dead) but has a unique spin on the consequences. This Living Dead Girl is no brainless zombie intent only on brains, she is a thinking, rationale being with a strong sense of right and wrong who just happens to be back from the dead…and is a very messy blood-feaster.

Available from Amazon!

Livelihood (2005)

What if the dead walked the earth…but instead of brains all they wanted were their old lives back?

This is the basic premise of Livelihood, a hilarious zom-com that pits the living and the undead against each other, but in very different circumstances than your typical zombie flick.

The film intertwines the stories of three people who died in freakish ways, only to come back from the dead to find the lives they left behind are topsy-turvy. The first story is about Billy Jump (Stephen B. Thomas), an 80’s hair metal rock star, who decides to reunite his once successful metal band, despite the fact that he can only sing in a high-pitched voice and two of his band mates have fallen in love and are now gay.

The second tale is of office square Alexander (Scott P. Graham). In life, no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t get ahead. His wife hated him and his boss thought he was worthless. When he returns and tries to re-establish his life, he finds he’s been replaced with a computer at work and replaced by a woman in his wife’s bed!

Lastly, we are told the story of overbearing mother Vida (Michelle Trout), who lives with her son and daughter-in-law, Jean (Amy Smith). Vida makes Jean’s life a living hell, until Jean poisons her tapioca pudding. When Vida returns from the grave, she continues to harass Jean.

As the three different stories unfold, the film treats us to several commercials featuring zombie products (zombie digestion aids) and services (zombie retirement home), zombie soap operas (The Dead and the Breathless) and even a zombie music video (a country parody called “Leave the US to the Living”)! The film also has segments that give it a documentary feel, like when the characters are featured in sit-down interviews. All these elements work in Livelihood’s favor, giving it a distinctive and unique feel.

This is a low-budget movie, though, so some might be a little put-off by the hokey pancake makeup and special effects. Still, this didn’t really dampen my enjoyment of the film. In fact, I thought it only added to the comical and over-the-top vibe of the flick!

There are a few instances where the humor does fall flat, though, and a few scenes that run a bit long. It also never ties the three stories together, leaving the film feeling rather loose, unstructured and unfocused.

Surprisingly, the acting was quite good, with all of the lead characters holding their own throughout the film. For a low-budget flick to pull this off is a rather big accomplishment!

I liked how the story tweaked the traditional “the dead walk the earth” and put its own spin on it. From the look of this smartly written film, writers Ryan Graham (who also directed), Tracey Graham and Curtis Crispin have bright futures ahead of them.

Livelihood is a solid low-budget film that delivers the laughs and will surely charm fans of zombie comedy looking for something new!

Available from Amazon!

The Grapes of Death (1978)

After being introduced to Jean Rollins’ work through the film The Iron Rose, I decided to take a look at a few other of his films. I decided to start his 1978 film The Grapes of Death (aka Les Raisins de la Mort)as the premise, location and promise of gore lured me. The film was said to feature zombies, be set in the vineyards of France and be one of Rollins’ most ooey and gooey horror films.

I didn’t see any zombies or French vineyards, but the gore certainly was present and accounted for!

The film opens with a group of vineyard workers spraying down the rows and rows of sickly grapes with harsh pesticides. Despite the fact that they are all wearing “protective masks” (which are little more than painter’s masks) one man falls violently ill. Meanwhile, a young woman named Elizabeth (Marie-Georges Pascal) is on her way into the region via train. She is going to meet her fiancée at the winery where he works. The same man that fell ill in the vineyards boards her train, kills her friend and attacks her, all the while a large, oozing wound on his face is rapidly spreading.

Elizabeth hightails it into the French countryside, but encounters more people with the same pus-filled sores that try to attack her and anyone else who remains unaffected. The infected are not only violent, but they are also organized and sneaky. Can Elizabeth make her way to her fiancées winery and get help…before it’s too late?

This movie was pretty hit and miss with me. It was touted as a zombie flick, but I think that is a grossly inaccurate description. It wasn’t clear if the infected died and came back as pus-filled atrocities or if they were just sick. Besides stumbling around a little bit, they certainly didn’t act like zombies either, as they could speak and manipulate people. I was also expecting a bit more violence or action, but the movie dragged in many places. I’d say the bulk of the movie featured the heroine running, climbing and walking through the rocky French countryside (no vineyards in sight!).

The best part of the film was the special FX done on the afflicted. The greenish-yellow pus, the raw red sores and the bright red dripping blood reminded me of the over-the-top effects used in Street Trash or Slime City. While The Grapes of Death didn’t use the extreme bright color palate of either of those films, the effect of being grossed out was still achieved!

The signature Jean Rollins style of filming is definitely apparent in The Grapes of Death. The slow, languid shots give the film a dream-like quality, while the small flourishes of close-ups (of eyes, faces, etc.) are evident throughout the film. Visually, the color palate of the film is rather dull, making the colorful seeping sores on the infected pop all that much more.

The story is pretty straightforward and simple, but the ending is pretty powerful and even a bit surprising. I also loved the scenes with the woman in white, who absolutely stole the show!

The Grapes of Death isn’t a film I would recommend everyone see, but for those interested in Jean Rollins filmmaking it is a must-see. As many before me have said, the gore is phenomenal and fun and it pretty much makes an otherwise drawn out movie very enjoyable.

The Grapes of Death pairs excellently with a nice bottle of French Chianti.

Available from Amazon!

One Dark Night (1983)

The 80’s was a grand time for horror movies and it sees like you can always find a hidden gem no matter how many horror movies you’ve already seen. One such hidden gem is 1983’s One Dark Night (aka Dark Night aka Entity Force aka Mausoleum aka Night in the Crypt aka Night of Darkness aka Rest in Peace). It may not be a perfect horror movie, but it is one fun flick that will no doubt entertain!

High school student Julie (Meg Tilly) has always wanted to be one of the Sisters, an ultra-cool clique of girls that sports snazzy satin jackets and go around sneering at people. Problem is, Julie is dating jock Steve (David Mason Daniels), who just happens to be the ex of Carol (Robin Evans), the leader of the Sisters. To get back at Julie, Carol devises one last initiation for her…one where she must spent the entire night locked in a mausoleum.

Carol and her two Sisters Kitty (Leslie Speights) and Leslie (the cutie-patootie E.G. Daily!) fully expect Julie to back out once their plan is revealed, but Julie is determined to prove herself and accepts the challenge, even when boyfriend Steve tries to dissuade her from joining the silly clique. Julie is dropped off at the mausoleum and locked in, given only a sleeping bag, a flashlight and a “sleeping” pill to keep her company while the other girls drive off to plan other hijinks for later in the evening.

What the girls don’t know is that the famous psychic Raymar was interned in the mausoleum earlier that day. He died of unknown causes and was found dead, along with a group of equally dead young women, in an apartment that looked like a war zone. Silverware and plates were embedded in the walls and much of the furniture was smashed. According to some, Raymar was a “psychic vampire” and could drain the life energy from people. He is now entombed in a crypt, but can still use his psychic powers to terrorize, including moving corpses (and other objects, including busting out of his coffin) with his mind.

Meanwhile, Raymar’s estranged daughter Olivia (Melissa Newman) is discovering the truth about the father she never knew as well as her own psychic powers, much to the chagrin of her husband (played by Adam West! Yes, THAT Adam West!).

When Raymar unleashes his electromagnetic powers, Julie, as well as Carol and Kitty who have snuck into the mausoleum to spook her, are terrorized by Raymar as he tries to scare them with moving corpses so he can drain their tasty, tasty life force. Will anyone live through One Dark Night?

This gem follows the familiar pattern of 80’s horror that involved initiations (Hell Night, anyone?), but just because the formula is familiar doesn’t make this flick any less fun! From the cheesy dialogue to the atrocious fashions to the creepy corpses and spooky location, One Dark Night is a crowd-pleasing movie.

The story, written by Michael Hawes and Tom McLoughlin (who also directed), is surprisingly original. There aren’t many horror films that tell tales of psychic vampires, but this one tells it rather well (despite the cheesy instances of lightening bolts shooting out of Raymar’s eyes)! Also, I enjoyed the subplot of Raymar’s daughter Olivia and her discover of her father’s (and her own) powers. While at times it felt a little tacked on, overall it worked with the film and helped make things more interesting.

The acting wasn’t anything spectacular, but Meg Tilly was great as the determined Julie and the bitch Sisters were a hoot (except what was up with Kitty and her always chomping on a toothbrush??). It was also fun to see Adam West play Olivia’s straight-laced and stodgy husband.

The special effects on the corpses were extremely well done and the corpses looked amazing! The corpses here shouldn’t be mistaken with the “undead” or zombies, as they were just dead bodies that Raymar would control and move with his mind. So instead of walking, the corpses hovered a few inches off the floor, which was pretty damn creepy if you ask me. Also, there wasn’t any bloody gore to speak of, just raggedy old flesh and tons of maggots and worms! My favorite little snippet was when one of the girls was being suffocated by several corpses and she put her foot through the stomach of one of them. Maggots proceeded to spill out! Needless to say, it was wicked cool!

One Dark Night isn’t perfect, though, and some will find the dialogue a bit lacking and there are a few scenes that drag on forever. Did we really need a full-fledged tour of the mausoleum as Julie slowly walks through it?. Every hallway looked the same anyway! The ending and the subplot involving Olivia both felt a bit too convenient at times as well. If you want to get nit-picky, there were also some plot holes and characters that didn’t get developed. Despite these flaws, though, One Dark Night was entirely enjoyable and I didn’t get hung up on any of the negatives of the film.

There are few 80’s movies that can take you back to being a kid again, just kicking it in front of a late-night horror movie on TV, but One Dark Night is one that brings the joyful feeling back. This movie isn’t perfect and isn’t a horror masterpiece, but there’s just something about it that recalls the awesomeness of 80’s horror and just the love of horror in general.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, I highly recommend you do some for nostalgic terror! Just a tip, though, don’t watch the “Alternative Director’s Cut” unless you’ve already seen the theatrical cut. The director’s cut is very rough and utilized work prints that don’t feature sound. You definitely won’t have fun when you’re sitting there frustrated because you can’t hear what’s going on!

Available on Amazon!