Ninjas vs. Vampires (2010)

From the creator’s of the cult smash Ninjas vs. Zombies comes Ninjas vs. Vampires, a fun independent film that boasts plenty of action, comedy and horror! Written and directed by Justin Timpane, Ninjas vs. Vampires is full of hilarious one-liners, lots of sword-swinging, martial arts action, spilled blood and even a bit of magic.

It tells the tale of Aaron, who moments after he is rejected by the girl of his dreams is attacked by vampires. Luckily they are both saved by mysterious ninjas. Aaron tracks down the ninjas for answers and soon becomes involved in the ninja vs. vampire war.

As mentioned above, this was a fun independent film of pretty high quality. It did have its flaws, namely some over-acting and cheesy effects, but its flaws soon became part of its quirky charm! What really made me dig the film so much was the witty dialogue, delivered by aplomb by the leads. The dialogue really made me care for the good guys and made me want to keep watching.

I also thought the action scenes between the vampires and the ninjas were really well-choreographed and entertaining to boot. Sure, some of the special effects involving fire, muzzle blasts, etc. were unrealistic-looking, but considering the low budget nature of the film I was willing to let these flaws slide. Plus, the martial arts/action scenes were kick ass regardless of the weak CGI.

The storyline was well-written, with enough exposition to help us understand the “rules” of the vampires and the ninja’s accelerated training. I also liked how they incorporated magic into the plot without coming off as cheesy. Timpane did a great job developing the characters and giving them distinct voices. I really dug the lead of Aaron, played by Jay Saunders, but all the characters were pretty likable. The only one I didn’t really like was the lead vampire, who just seemed a bit too stereotypical to me. The actor who played the lead vamp came off kind of wooden as well.

However, overall Ninjas vs. Vampires is a fun, action-filmed romp that was surprisingly entertaining. It had awesome action sequences, characters we cared about and an engaging and unique storyline. Want to find out who wins this war? Then check out Ninjas vs. Vampires to find out!

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Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith

Right on the heels of the delightful Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes its prequel, Dawn of the Dreadfuls. Dawn of the Dreadfuls is a completely original work (it’s not based on an Austen classic like the original was) with a different author than P & P & Z. Yet, it still manages to retain the charm and bloody action of P & P & Z.

Dawn of the Dreadfuls takes us through the colorful account of the Bennet sisters as the “unmentionable” menace threatens their idyllic life in the English countryside. After a corpse reanimates during a funeral, Mr. Bennet insists that his daughters be trained in the deadly arts. After much wailing about impropriety, reputations and what the neighbors will think, Mrs. Bennet finally accepts his decision and the rakishly handsome martial arts instructor Master Hawksworth is brought into the household and takes a special liking to his star pupil, Elizabeth. Meanwhile, soldiers are also amassing around the countryside in preparation to fight the growing zombie horde and Elizabeth meets their peculiar but charming scientist Dr. Keckilpenny who likes to conduct experiments on the “unmentionables” to better understand them. Not only is Elizabeth’s heart pulled between Master Hawksworth and Dr. Keckilpenny, but she also has to mind the ever-increasing numbers of zombies roaming the countryside. Everything comes to a head at Elizabeth’s coming out ball, held at repugnant Lord Lumpley’s estate, when an army of undead decides to attack the party-goers.

As a prequel to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Dawn of the Dreadfuls is an extremely fun and fulfilling novel that manages to fill in a lot of the back history of how the Bennet sisters were trained in the deadly arts. It is just delightful to see the Bennet sisters grow from naïve young country maids to deadly warriors. I also enjoyed the interaction between Elizabeth and the colorful characters of Master Hawksworth and Dr. Keckilpenny, both who vie for her attention in very different ways. Author Steve Hockensmith has populated the novel with many other colorful characters as well, including Captain Cannon, who lost all his limbs to zombies and now has four soldiers acting as “limbs” for him, the previously mentioned Lord Lumpley, whose physical description matches his name but doesn’t prevent him from womanizing, the legendary Catherine De Bourgh, zombie slayer extraordinaire, and many more!

Though the novel doesn’t match the witty Austen-isms from P & P & Z and lacks its clever dialogue, it makes up for this with action and its interesting characters. The characters I discussed above, but the action is just as great. From the sisters training in their dojo to having their first experiences with killing zombies to the great zombie siege at the end, the book moves fast and the action comes quick. I also didn’t mind the few hints at romance but also appreciated that Hockensmith didn’t go overboard with it. What he did go overboard with was the gore, which I more than gleefully appreciated! From desiccated corpses to the freshly undead to decapitations, impaling, and all sorts of gore, the novel didn’t disappoint!

Dawn of the Dreadfuls is a fun zombie period piece that will work well for both fans of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and fans of just zombies in general. Since it isn’t adopted straight from a Jane Austen novel like P & P & Z was, it is more accessible to the general horror populace with a craving for brains. With full-fledged zombie mayhem contrasting against a genteel English populace, Dawn of the Dreadfuls is the perfect cup of tea for horror fans thirsty for an entertaining zombie novel!

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Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

Did you ever had to read Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice for English class? Did you find yourself snoozing away while Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy slowly but surely fell in love? Did you wish that zombies, ninjas and bloody battles were a part of Austen’s novel? Well, wish no longer because author Seth Grahame-Smith has tweaked Austen’s classic book to include walking corpses, Shaolin-trained assassins and some sure-fire slaughter!

Grahame-Smith, who wrote the excellent How to Survive a Horror Movie, has injected a lot of action into Austen’s tome and this monster mash-up is perfect for romantics who like a little blood with their love. Grahame-Smith cleverly inserts zombie attacks, ninjas and the “unmentionables” into the polite English society of the Bennet’s and heroine Elizabeth Bennet isn’t just a smart, witty girl anymore…now she also kicks ass against hordes of zombies! She and her sisters have all been trained in the “deadly arts” of Shaolin and are relied upon to protect the countryside. An English regiment has also arrived in town to try and squelch the undead menace (as author Grahame-Smith says in an interview, “…we arrived at Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because, when you take a look at the original book, it’s almost as if, subconsciously, Jane Austen is laying out the perfect groundwork for an ultraviolent bone-crushing zombie massacre to take place. For instance, there’s a regiment of soldiers camped out near the Bennett household. In the book, they’re just there for characters to flirt with. But it’s not that big a leap to say, Okay, they’re there because the countryside has been overrun with what they call the ‘unmentionable menace.’”). Of course, lets not forget the societal mishaps the Bennet family experiences at the hands of the rakish Wickham, the amiable Mr. Bingley and the mysterious and misunderstood Mr. Darcy.  I loved how Grahame-Smith slightly changed Austen’s characters while still retaining their core personalities and actions. He made Elizabeth a highly trained zombie killer and gave other characters varying degrees of skill in fighting the undead. Even after all these changes the characters were still believable as “Jane Austen characters”.

I also loved the violence and gore that Grahame-Smith added! Talk about grabbing your attention! We’ve got half-decomposed corpses stumbling around that the Bennet sisters must dispose of…which usually results in a bloody, gory mess that stains their pretty gowns, not to mention the scandal it causes within the neighborhood! Not only are there zombies, but ninjas also stalk the pages of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Elizabeth has to battle several to prove her worth to Mr. Darcy’s aunt, the Lady de Bourgh. There are lots of wonderfully brutal and bloody scenes and Grahame-Smith really delivers on the gore! And yet, it seems to fit so seamlessly into the original context of the novel!

For Austen or classic literature fans that bemoan that this mash-up tramples all over their much cherished Pride and Prejudice, have no fear. Grahame-Smith masterfully combines his new vision with Austen’s classic. The result is subtle but startling and one thing is for sure…you’ll never look at a Jane Austen novel the same again!

I really can’t recommend Pride and Prejudice and Zombies highly enough. It still retains the biting wit of Austen’s classic work, but it also contains quite a few biting zombies. Seth Grahame-Smith has started an amazing new trend here, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us next! Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is an absolute delight to read…perhaps high school students will be able to get away with reading this instead of Austen’s original!

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Death Trance (2005)

Death Trance is an outrageously fun and visually stunning martial arts/fantasy flick. I am by no means a martial arts or even a fantasy fan, but the film’s fast pace, excellent cast, flair, impressive action sequences and amazing visuals really got me hooked!

For years, people have been after an enchanted coffin that is said to grant wishes by whoever opens it in the Forbidden Forest. No one has ever been able to steal it from the monks, who guard it carefully in a remote monastery. Nonetheless, mysterious warrior Grave (Tak Sakaguchi) manages to snatch the coffin and begins lugging it towards the Forbidden Forest to cash in on its promised wish. Little does he know that the coffin is actually the resting place of the Goddess of Destruction, and, if opened, she’ll, you know, destroy the world.

As Grave marches on towards his prize, a strange little girl (Honoka Asada) and coffin in tow, he faces off against others who would like nothing more than to take the coffin from him to have the wishes for themselves. An apprentice monk named Ryuen (Takamasa Suga) is dispatched from the monastery to stop Grave, or at least find the “Chosen One” who will be able to fight off the Goddess if she is unleashed. The monk and Grave are joined by punk wanderer-warrior Sid (Steven Seagal’s son Kentaro Seagal) and mysterious woman named Yuri (Yuki Takeuchi), both who have different motivations for acquiring the coffin.

Will Grave reach the Forbidden Forest and have his wish granted? Can Ryuen stop the coffin from being opened? Who is the adorable little girl that tags along after the coffin? What do Sid and Yuri have to do with the coffin? Who is the Chosen One and how will he or she stop the Goddess of Destruction if she is unleashed?

These questions and more are all answered in the quirky, action-packed and fun Death Trance! The film blends styles from the past, present and future to create a crazy atmosphere where anything goes! For example, old-fashioned medieval samurai costumes and swords are used alongside modern motorcycles and guns, creating a fantasy world removed from our own. The costumes themselves are impressive, from the two gothic Lolita warriors to the bad-ass feudal Japan samurai robes that mix leather, studs, satin and metal. Not only are the costumes over-the-top, but so are some of the characters, including a pair of blood-sucking ninja spiders and a group of zombies!

The amazing fight scenes only add to the wild and fantastical edge of the film. Considering Death Trance is from the same people that brought us Versus, it’s easy to see why it is such a fast-paced, action-packed film. The fight scenes are absolutely flawless, packed with energy and carefully framed with the camera, giving you the impression that you are actually there. The final battle alone, featuring the Goddess of Destruction and Grave suspended in mid-air as they hack and slash at each other, is a special FX marvel. As they fight, their droplets of blood float around them like blooming red flowers, creating a truly mesmerizing set-piece.

As for the acting, Tak Sakaguchi (who also starred in Versus and Battlefield Baseball) does an amazing job as the bad ass Grave. Girls, get ready to swoon because the combination of his fighting skills (he does all his own stunts) and high cheekbones make Sakaguchi a real lady-killer! The rest of the cast, including Takamasa Suga, Kentaro Seagal and Yuki Takeuchi, do a wonderful job as well, both in the fight scenes and with the humor sprinkled liberally throughout the movie.

Some may complain about the overly simplistic plot that doesn’t delve too deep into the mythos of the coffin or the “Chosen One.” I was a little let down that the film lacked in the story department, but that didn’t really dampen my love for this film at all. The rest of the film is so bombastic and bad ass (yes, I realize I’ve now said “bad ass” three times in this review!) that it can withstand the lack of plot.

I really am at loss for words to describe just how awesome Death Trance is. Whether you are a fan of martial arts films or not, Death Trance will impress you with its fast-paced action, cute humor, heart-pounding fight scenes and beautiful visuals.

Don’t miss out on the entrancing Death Trance!

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The Witches Hammer (2006)

I’ll be honest, when I first saw the cover for The Witches Hammer, all I could think was, “Oh brother…not another Blade/Underworld rip-off!” Thankfully, The Witches Hammer may look similar to these two vampire flicks, but it turns out to be a very unique, entertaining and fun film!

On the brink of death, Rebecca (Claudia Coulter) is resurrected by shadow organization Project 571 and genetically engineered to be a vampire. She must leave behind her old life, in which she was wife and mother, to be trained as a master assassin to fight against the forces of evil. A year after honing her fighting skills, she is sent into the field on various missions, one of which gets her shot in the head. Fortunately, vampires can only die from exposure to sunlight, decapitation or a stake through the heart, so she is alright, until she finds her entire team at Project 571 slaughtered. Witches Edward (Jon Sidgwick) and Madeline (Stephanie Beacham) kidnap Rebecca and want her to acquire the Malleus Maleficarum, a book written by enraged witch Kitanya (Magda Rodriguez) in the Middle Ages. The book contains spells to release the souls of the damned and into our world. Rebecca must find the book before it lands in the hands of Hugo Renoir, a vampire intent on using the spells contained in the book for evil. Also after the book are vampire couple Charlotte (Sally Reeve) and Oscar (Jason Tompkins) and Spanish vampire assassin Victor (Miguel Ruz). Can Rebecca put her past behind her and save mankind from an ancient evil?

The Witches Hammer seems to have it all – vampires, witches, ninjas, demons, even a midget! Yet, with so many different characters and twists, it never gets bogged down but instead glides (or perhaps I should say roundhouse kicks) effortlessly through to the end. The story, written by director James Eaves, is evenly paced, featuring both adequate action and character-driven scenes. Each of the characters get great development as the story delves into each of their backgrounds. Flashbacks are used to tell Kitanya’s story, as well as the very amusing story of over-eater Charlotte and how she became a vampire in Victorian London. The mythology of the Malleus Maleficarum is adequately described, and everything is tidily wrapped up at the end.

For a low budget film, the action sequences are extremely well done. Rebecca fights numerous demons, witches, vampires and even ninjas with different types of weapons (guns, swords, knives, staffs, etc.) and different styles of martial arts. I was astounded at the quality at the action sequences, as most indie films don’t have the budget to pull off believable fights and end up looking silly. The fight scenes in The Witches Hammer, on the other hand, look professional and not at all cheesy. The various types of martial arts used are most impressive, especially when Rebecca fights a ninja that has the ability to split into three ninjas and disappear/appear at will.

The acting is solid throughout, with special mention going to Stephanie Beacham playing Madeline. Her polished, commanding performance was a treat to see and lends a lot of credibility to the film. Beacham is a veteran of film and TV, and starred in many horror films in the 1970s and onward, including Dracula A.D. 1972 with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. Claudia Coulter as Rebecca did a bang up job, but at times it felt as if she was holding back. Sally Reeve and Jason Tompkins as mismatched vampire lovers Charlotte and Oscar brought some excellent comedic relief to the film. Fortunately, the comedic elements weren’t over-the-top but instead fit quite nicely with the script.

Shot on 35mm, the film looks amazing. Director Eaves made an excellent choice to shoot on 35mm film, as it gives the film a much more polished and professional look. Scenes are shot stylishly and effectively by Eaves. In particular, the action sequences looked terrific.

The Witches Hammer is a fun, entertaining horror film that doesn’t rely on nudity, sex or excessive gore to titillate the audience. Instead it relies on a cohesive, interesting story, insane action sequences, entertaining characters and a great mythology. The Witches Hammer delights at every turn. Looks like this is proof UK indie horror is back…

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