The Crazies (2010)

I’ve never been a big fan of George A. Romero’s 1973 film The Crazies. I’ve probably only seen it a few times and remember being very underwhelmed by the horror flick. I understand its message and significance, and while I appreciate a good socially conscious film, the original Romero film just didn’t grab me and was largely forgettable.

So, I wasn’t too excited for the 2010 remake, helmed by Breck Eisner (same dude who is in discussions to direct remakes of The Brood and Creature from the Black Lagoon…ugh, it never ends! He also directed an episode for Fear Itself). I saw The Crazies reboot when it was released on DVD last week, but it has taken me this long to write a review since the remake, like the original, left me feeling pretty “meh”.

A military plane crashes in a small Midwest town and releases a secret biological weapon into the town’s water supply. As people become exposed they become gravely ill, ultimately descending into homicidal madness. Soon, the military quarantines the town to contain the virus at all costs. Sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant), his pregnant wife Doctor Judy Dutton (Radha Mitchell) and a few other uninfected inhabitants attempt to escape, but who can they trust when anyone can be infected?

This remake doesn’t really try anything differently and is pretty much the same film as the original except it looks more slick and polished. It starts off pretty strongly (a man holding a gun stumbles across a baseball game, a mad look in his eyes, as Sheriff Dutton pleads with him to put the gun down – a scene you’ve undoubtedly seen in the trailer), but after the characters and plot are established the story begins to wear thin and the proceedings become pretty boring.

However, the film also has its positives. For one, the acting was pretty decent. Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell do a good job as the married couple, though their chemistry felt a little off at times. And dang…Olyphant looks mighty fine in that police uniform! Joe Anderson who plays the deputy also gave a strong performance, especially towards the end. Everyone else in the cast did a good job, so not many complaints from me regarding the acting.

I also thought the special effects were quite good and the “infected”, with bloodshot eyes, sores erupting on their faces, their blank-eyed stares, looked great! There is a scene at a truck stop where a few groddy infected attack the Sheriff and his wife that is VERY effective and actually made me jump! The film isn’t gore-focused, but has its fair share of bloodshed. One memorable scene that comes to mind is the pitchfork scene where a “crazy” kabobs a victim with the implement.

Saying all that, I was still bored watching the film. A few good scenes do not a movie make, and while The Crazies isn’t a horrible, dumbed-down remake like most horror “reimagings” are, I was still managed to be let down. The story is just too familiar, not only because it’s a remake, but because we’ve seen virus/quarantine movies so many times before…and yet films like 28 Days/Weeks Later and [REC] actually managed to keep me from falling asleep while watching them, something I can’t say for The Crazies.

Saying The Crazies is one of the better horror remakes out there really isn’t saying much, and while The Crazies is better than most reboots coming out of Hollywood,  it still failed to entertain me.

Watch at your own risk!

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Frozen (2010)

I’ve never been a fan of the snow. In all my life I’ve probably been in it just a handful of times. I’ve never been skiing (unless you count that time when I was really young and my parents took me to the Swiss Alps), never been snowboarding and have no desire to do either. Though I live just a few hours from the mountains I’ve never been and have no plans to go. Snow is cold and wet, whereas I would much rather be warm and dry! I can appreciate the majestic snow-capped mountains, but always at a distance, thank you very much! This rant is brought to you by Adam Green’s Frozen, a film that furthers my belief that I should stay as far away from snow as possible!

Frozen is about friends Lynch (Shawn Ashmore) and Walker (Kevin Zegers) and Walker’s girlfriend Parker (Emma Bell) who head up to a ski resort one Sunday. Seeing as they don’t have enough money to pay full price for lift tickets, they bribe a ski lift operator to let them go up the mountain. They spend most of the day on the bunny slopes because it is Parker’s first time snowboarding, which irritates Lynch since the trip is traditionally bros only. As nightfall nears, the trio decides to go on one last decent run, even though the lifts are closing due to a blizzard coming in. The same lift operator grudgingly lets them go up one last time, but because of a miscommunication another lift operator shuts everything down while the trio is stuck halfway up the mountain. When they realize they have been left behind and no one is coming to rescue them, the three friends must go to tremendous lengths to survive the elements…because the resort won’t open back up for another five days.

This film must be given props solely for the fact that it was shot practically – meaning that this wasn’t shot on a studio set but was actually shot in freezing cold temperatures on an actual ski lift that was 50 feet in the air. If you have heard any of director/writer Adam Green’s terrifying tales of the production, you know that this in of itself was a horrifying ordeal! They shot through real blizzards, used real wolves and were really suspended five stories above the ground! For this, both cast and crew are to be applauded, especially since the film looks so great. Green used a cherry-picker type crane to get many amazing shots and luckily the film isn’t just one static shot of the actors in the lift. Instead, it moves around them and keeps things visually interesting.

Also, I know people are bitching about what they would do if stuck in a ski lift (“Dude, why don’t they just jump? It can’t be that high.” or “Why don’t they MacGuyver themselves out of the situation by sliding down the lift cable?”), but in actuality all of these possibilities are explored by the stranded friends and the results are pretty grim. Every little detail is explained so the story becomes very realistic…and therefore very scary. The film is incredibly tense, uncomfortable to watch and features several cringe-worthy scenes (which I won’t spoil here). The three kids are fighters, and do what they can to survive, but with limited options, plummeting temperatures and hungry wolves circling them, they can only do so much to stay alive.

Speaking of the characters, you really get to feel like you know them (perhaps a little too well) and can easily empathize with them. However, I will say that the female character of Parker came off a little too whiny for my liking. I would have liked to see her fight a little more and cry/scream a little less. Despite that, I felt the actors gave amazing performances (and it probably helped that they were actually freezing their asses off and experiencing a lot of what their characters were during the shoot). The bromance between Walker and Lynch was believable, and Walker and Parker were a cute couple. These weren’t the stupid stock characters you’d encounter in some horror films that you want to see die – they were ordinary, run-of-the-mill good kids who found themselves in a horrifying ordeal that you hoped they found a way out of. Unfortunately, they don’t all make it out alive…but the film definitely kept you on your toes guessing who will live and who doesn’t.

Besides Green’s simple-yet-effective story and well-rounded characters, I also enjoyed the humor he infused into the film. At the beginning of the film it is welcome, but he even employs it during some of the more tense scenes. Most of the time the humor worked, but other times it killed the tension and took you out of the moment. There were also some fun cameos throughout the movie – for example, one quick scene features Green himself and buddy Joe Lynch (director of Wrong Turn 2). Kane Hodder (who was stunt coordinator on the film) even makes an appearance as a snow truck driver and Green’s own fiancé, Rileah Vanderbilt, plays a potential love interest of Lynch. Horror fans will notice that even the characters are named after Green’s friends in the horror community. These are cute little perks that I and other horror fans definitely enjoyed!

However, after all that gushing about Frozen, I must admit it has its flaws and I didn’t enjoy it 100%. After the first half of the film, it started to drag a little bit and I wished the characters would start to actually DO something about their predicament rather than trade stories like they were Grandpa from The Simpsons. The film starts to drag a little bit and loses steam, not to mention a few implausible events that just didn’t ring true. After all the realism of the first half of the film, I was disappointed that I had to keep suspending my disbelief more and more as the film neared its end. This isn’t to say that it’s a bad film by any means, but just that towards the end it didn’t grab me as much as it should have.

I still left the theater chilled, though, and extremely grateful for the heater in my car! Frozen might not be perfect, but it was definitely realistic (for the most part) and to all the naysayers wagging their tongues about how such-and-such isn’t possible or so-and-so should have done this – well, I dare them to actually go see the film (or hey, better yet, climb into an actual ski lift during winter and get stuck up there themselves for a few days) before making such remarks. I, for one, know I’ll never again look at a ski lift without trepidation!

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The Brotherhood of Satan (1971)

In this little-seen and underrated Satanic flick, elderly residents of a isolated town have taken to snatching children and turning them into followers of Satan. Once they’ve collected enough children, a ritual will be held to transpose the senior citizens souls into the bodies of the kids, giving them renewed life!

Meanwhile, Ben (Charles Bateman), his girlfriend Nicky (Ahna Capri) and his daughter K.T. (Geri Reischl) are on their way to grandmother’s house when they happen upon a horrible accident and drive to the nearest town for help. Unfortunately, it’s the same Satanic town mentioned above and there they are met with hysterical townsfolk. They drive away, but car trouble forces them back into town. Once back in, a supernatural force keeps them and the rest of the townsfolk trapped. Seems that the senior citizen Satanists need one more child to perform their Black Mass, and that child is K.T. Will Ben save his daughter and the town before it’s too late and the small fry of Satan are unleashed?

The Brotherhood of Satan certainly has a convoluted and confusing way of unfolding its narrative, but as the pieces come together you are drawn further and further into the story. Besides its weird narrative structure, the film also boasts some odd scenes including a toy tank turning into a real tank and crushing a car and a dancing doll that causes the death of some parents, among others. The real highlight of the film for me was the Satan-worshipping party the seniors had. It was just like a potluck, except upon entry each person pledged their allegiance to Satan and one of their own was tried for allowing her grandson to be baptized. When she was deemed guilty, the ferocity and rage her brethren had towards her was truly frightening. There are also clever ideas used throughout the movie, including children’s toys as the instruments of murder (I don’t want to speak too much on this lest I give anything away, but toys come to (larger than) life to exact murder on parents).

Though the film is very PG-ish and lacks much blood and/or gore, the use of weird camera angles, an evocative score, creepy kids, the colorful visuals and the disorienting narrative really help give it a nightmarish, disturbing quality. Director Bernard McEveety and writers L.Q. Jones (who also stars as the town’s sheriff), Sean MacGregor and William Welch did an excellent job with the film, and I can’t understand why it hasn’t gotten more recognition over the years. It certainly isn’t perfect (especially with the confusing narrative structure), but it certainly deserves another look from horror fans.

If you are looking for a quirky ‘70s Satanic movie, The Brotherhood of Satan is one that should not be overlooked. With shades of Rosemary’s Baby and Race with the Devil, it really deserves a bigger audience!

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Deadgirl (2009)

Deadgirl is a beautifully twisted, if not slightly flawed, exploration of how childhood innocence is so easily lost in our disillusioned world. It is easily one of the most disturbing films I’ve seen in recent memory and while it’s a more coming-of-age drama than straight-forward horror movie, this film still managed to shock and deeply perturb me.

High school burnouts Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez, who looks like a mix of Joaquin Phoenix and Johnny Depp) and J.T. (Noah Segan) cut school one hot day and decide to seek refuge in an old abandoned mental institution. After trashing the place and downing some beers, they set off to explore the dank basement where they are shocked to find a seemingly dead woman’s naked body chained to a gurney and wrapped in plastic. While Rickie decides to high-tail it out of there, J.T. has nefarious designs on the naked dead woman…except he soon figures out she isn’t dead and, more so, can’t be killed!

Rickie soon discovers that J.T. has made the dead girl into his own personal sex slave. Yet, Rickie can’t bring himself to turn his best friend in, not even after more and more people find out about the dead girl and join J.T. in his perverse necromance. As the situation spirals out of control and the line between right and wrong blur, Rickie must decide where his loyalties lie.

Deadgirl is definitely not a fun film to watch, but then again I just couldn’t tear my eyes away from the grotesqueries on display. That’s not to say that it is at all gory or bloody, but instead the shock aspect of the film comes from the seemingly moral ambivalence of all the characters. It seems that no one really cares that what they are doing is wrong, and even Rickie, one of the few remotely likable characters, seems only worried about the repercussions if they are caught by the police. This is where the real horror lies…that these teens don’t seem to have any moral compass and that the scenario seems so plausible in real life.

Though the film never explicitly shows the many rape scenes, we know exactly what is transpiring. The film never eroticizes the rape, instead making it a vile, degrading act to watch (though the characters treat it very nonchalantly). The dead girl (played bravely by Jenny Spain) is like a hunk of meat to the characters, just another thing they can use to satisfy their teenage libidos. I’m not sure if the writer Trent Haaga or directors Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel intentionally wanted to make a statement about rape victims and their attackers, but J.T. and his cronies treat her like a rapist would treat his victim…they say “she’s not even human” and act like she is just a commodity to be used explicitly for their pleasure and then discarded. You end up cheering for the dead girl (the characters never even give her a name and we never find out her back story, making her appear even more like merely an object) but her rapists never seem to get the punishment they deserve.

Another theme the film explores is the “loss of innocence”, but more from Rickie’s and J.T.’s perspectives than from the dead girl’s. The characters go from rebels without a cause to perverse exploiters of human life rather quickly, and, as mentioned above, treat the dead girl as not even being human and repeatedly rape this “object”. Though “zombie” is never used to describe the dead girl, that is what she truly is and the film really turns the zombie genre on its head. Usually, the zombies are used as metaphors for our mindless consumer society, but in Deadgirl the living lead characters are the ones senselessly and coldly using up the “zombie” just as if she is another product. It says a lot about our society and how we as consumers voraciously devour any products we can get our grubby mitts on, without thought to consequences. Kudos to writer Trent Haaga for offering a new perspective and social commentary on the zombie genre. On the more distressing side, it also speaks of how ambivalent we as a society are towards rapists and the “boys will be boys” mentality.

On the visual side of things, directors Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel do a fantastic job of capturing the angst and alienation of youth in the film (especially accompanied by the moody soundtrack that includes Iron and Wine, Radiohead and Animal Collective). The opening scenes and subsequent framing shots really depict what it feels like to be an outsider in high school. It is a poignant journey until the twisted horror of the dead girl is revealed. From then on most of the action takes place in the dark, dank belly of the abandoned mental hospital, which J.T. slowly converts to his new crash pad, complete with softly glowing Christmas lights and a Lazy-Boy. The gritty setting coupled with the despicable acts the boys perform on the dead girl really makes your stomach turn. The setting reminded me much of Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door.
 
Despite a few shaky instances, the actors in the film did an amazing job. Noah Segan really made us hate his character of J.T. and Shiloh Fernandez made us alternate between hating and loving his character of Rickie. Other cast members did a terrific job as well, especially the dead girl herself, Jenny Spain, who we both felt sorry for and terrified by.

The film does have a few flaws, namely some slow pacing and failure to wrap up some loose ends. The film already has a pretty languid pace, but there are a few instances where the story really gets bogged down. I thought the subplot of Rickie’s mom’s boyfriend didn’t add anything to the story and could have been left out. Also, I really wanted to see some justice and prolonged torture befall J.T. and others for their part in making the dead girl their sex slave, but their fates were rather tame. The film’s grim ending was shocking (though you can see it coming), but it never followed up on what happened to some of the characters or the dead girl herself. Had the script and/or editing been tightened up, the pacing and storyline would have flowed much more smoothly, but still would have been no less perverse.

Deadgirl is a hard film to recommend. On the one hand, it is hard to watch, has its moments of misogyny and the rapists never quite get all they deserve, but on the other hand it is beautifully filmed and is just so damn disturbing! The moral ambivalence of the characters and the objectification of women speak to a greater extent of how we as a society have a nonchalant attitude not only towards the loss of innocence, but also towards rape. And that perhaps is the most frightening thing of all about Deadgirl.

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The Unseen (1980)

You know the feeling you get when you discover a hidden gem of a movie? When you are incredulous that it never garnered that much attention and want to yell from the rooftops about the underappreciated genius of the film?! Well, I had never heard of the 1980 film The Unseen before and the premise made it sound exactly like a diamond in the rough whose virtues I could extol to the masses…errrr, well, it didn’t exactly turn out that way, but at the same time I still kind of liked the film!

The Unseen starts with a reporter named Jennifer (Barbara Bach) storming out of the Los Angeles apartment she shares with her injured ex-football star boyfriend Tony (Douglas Barr). It seems that Tony’s unrealistic drive to get back into football after a knee injury is driving Jennifer batty. She leaves on assignment and heads to north to Solvang with her camera woman Karen (Karen Lamm) and gal pal Vicki (Lois Young) to cover the Dutch settlement’s annual parade. The hotel apparently lost their reservation and since all the other hotels in town are booked, they are forced to look for lodging a tiny city 30 or so miles from Solvang. A seemingly kind museum owner, Ernest Keller (Sydney Lassick) offers them rooms in his large home, where they meet his “wife”, the nerve-wracked Virginia (Lelia Goldoni). After getting settled, Jennifer and Karen head back into town to cover the parade while an ill Vicki stays at the Keller’s to rest up. Unfortunately for her, something or someone that lives in the basement crawls up through the heating vents and tries to drag her down to “play”…but her head gets crushed in the process.

Meanwhile, Tony has followed Jennifer to Solvang, intent on resolving their issues. As they hash it out over dinner, Karen heads back to the Keller house and ends up much like Vicki did before her. We also learn about Ernest’s upbringing and that he takes “keeping it all in the family” a little too literally. By the time Jennifer arrives back at the Keller’s, they are more than ready for her to meet little Junior (Stephen Furst) in the basement.

The Unseen started out on a positive note, with three gung-ho, smart and likable ladies who will stop at nothing to get the story of the century about the little Dutch settlement that could! The first half of the film moves at a quick clip, with likable characters and their unfortunate decision to stay with the creepy Keller’s. There is a sense of unease around the couple, their home and what lurks in the basement. The first “kill” scene is entertaining, if a little over-the-top in how Vicki wildly reacts as she desperately tries to claw her way to safety as “something” drags her down an old-fashioned heating grate. The second kill is even better, as it involves a scarf tantalizingly dangling over another heating grate, just waiting for someone from below to grab hold of it and yank. Be warned, though, there is hardly any bloodshed and a very paltry body count, so don’t go looking for a gorefest with this one or you’ll be sorely disappointed.

While the first half of the film has an excellent set-up, the second half just doesn’t pack the same punch. By the time Jennifer arrives back to find a seemingly empty Keller house, the pacing starts to slow down and the last half of the film feels dragged out. It’s like they only had 10 minutes worth of story but dragged it out to 40 minutes. These last 40 minutes are spent in the basement while our heroine is lorded over by the overgrown, inbred lovechild of the Keller family. Of those 40 minutes, at least 15 are spent on showing the man-child gleefully clapping his hands and stuffing his teddybear down his soiled and no longer tight or white tighty-whities, all the while his chubby man-boobs peak through the remains of a tattered T-shirt. You gotta wonder how the heck he actually fit into the heating ducts in the first place! I also didn’t like the fact that he lost all scariness as soon as they decided to show him. It’s like all of a sudden, despite the fact that he’s already killed two people, we are supposed to feel sorry for the “special” guy. From then on the movie looses any momentum and tension it might have had as it presents its most menacing foe to be the tubby man of the house, Ernest. Plus, I can’t really feel sorry for the Final Girl because upon escaping the basement she didn’t even bother to lock the loony family in with the huge padlock that was hanging by the door. Instead, she went and hid in the chicken coop!! Obviously, she’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch…

The best scenes in the film featured the disturbing interactions between Ernest and Virginia. Right off the bat you know something ain’t right with the pair…and in a creepy scene featuring Ernest and the disembodied voice of his dead father you learn why. From then on it is just uncomfortable to watch the two together! The acting by Sydney Lassick as the over-eager Ernest and Lelia Goldoni as the unstable Virginia was certainly the best in the film. They played extremely well off one another and really made you squirm in your seat!

I wouldn’t call The Unseen a “gem” of a horror film, but despite its flaws it is still a neat little film that horror fans may enjoy. One the plus side, the presentation of the taboo subjects of incest and inbreeding is downright creepy, but on the negative side the tame killer and kills are mediocre and drag the film down. Overall, though, I’d say The Unseen is at least worth a rental!

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End of the Line (2007)

Young nurse Karen (Ilona Elkin) has had a rough night with patients behaving more oddly than usual and has had some startling premonitions (right off the bat we are treated to an unsettling scare). As she boards the nearly-deserted subway, a blond-haired freak harasses her, but good guy Mike (Nicolas Wright) tries to calm her frazzled nerves. Once on the subway, the train breaks down and Karen and Mike are stuck under the flickering lights. They are soon joined by a sweet old lady…but after receiving a message on her cell she tries to attack Mike with a knife made from a crucifix. Other people stuck on the subway are attack by people wielding these knives, as they are all members of a religious cult called The Church of Hope and by killing people they hope to “save” them from the end of the world. Karen and Mike escape and meet up with other survivors as they try to escape the labyrinth tunnels of the subway and reach the surface. Yet, what if the cult is right and death is better than what awaits them?

Filled with surprises, End of the Line is an overlooked horror film that shouldn’t be missed! From the beginning to the end the film is chock full of unexpected, creepy surprises that will keep you on the edge of your seat! Director and writer Maurice Devereaux has crafted an intriguing and entertaining horror film whose images won’t leave my head anytime soon!

I liked how Devereaux developed the cult member’s characters. They weren’t just smiling and singing automatons, but he portrayed their inner turmoil as well. Some of them just couldn’t go through with killing others while others had doubt about what they were doing. Some enjoyed killing and wanted to get their kicks before it was their time to go and others truly believed they were saving the masses from a much more terrible fate. The characters that did suffer a bit in character development were the protagonists. Besides Karen, we don’t know that much about anyone and so it’s a little hard to get fully invested in their predicament.

Still, the lack of the protagonists’ development didn’t damage the story as a whole too terribly. I loved how this is not just a “cult-run-amuck” flick, but something much, much creepier. I don’t want to give too much away, because the film is most effective when you don’t know too much about it, but believe me when I say that there are some jarring, unsettling moments where you’ll be thinking, “what the hell did I just see?” I also liked how Devereaux raises the issue of faith and whom (or what) people place it in. The only detracting factor with Devereaux’s writing is some of the questionable dialogue. Though there are some instances where he tries to ease the tension (like the infamous “I have to take a dump” line), it just doesn’t work and interrupts any kind of dread that had been building.

Despite some cringe-worthy dialogue, End of the Line is an incredibly effective horror film. There are shocking scares aplenty but they are never overdone. Devereaux capitalizes on the creepy factor when we get just a quick flash of something creepy-crawly under the stairs or a flash of someone (or something) down a dark tunnel. Plus, there are plenty of blood-drenched scenes, including a disturbing beheading scene as well as the death of a woman and her unborn baby. All these instances, plus the threat of the cult members, add to an every-increasing sense of dread until the chilling finale.

End of the Line is a little-seen gem of a horror film that definitely deserves more attention. Featuring plenty of thrills and chills, it is definitely worth a look!

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Mum and Dad (2009)

Family can be a touchy subject for some people. While some people absolutely adore their family and wouldn’t trade it for the world, others are embarrassed or had such an unpleasant upbringing that they want nothing to do with their relations. Regardless of whether you love or loathe your family, chances are that there are usually more than a few skeletons hidden in the family closet.

In the British film Mum and Dad, the family has its own share of skeletons (and corpses and body parts) in their home. You see, Mum (Dido Miles) and Dad (Perry Benson) are two deranged psychopaths that like to kidnap young adults from the nearby airport and torture them. Polish immigrant Lena (Olga Fedori) escaped her oppressive family and has fled to England to start a new life for herself. She works as a janitor at the airport, where she meets Birdy (Ainsley Howard), a chatty girl who invites her out with her introverted brother, Elbie (Toby Alexander), for drinks after their shift. Lena declines, but when she misses her bus she is forced to follow Birdy and Elbie to their home. Yet Lena has no idea of the horrors that await her at the hands of her new Mum and Dad…

Mum and Dad is an extremely disturbing and engaging horror film! It is probably one of the better recent horror flicks to come out of England and it just had me gaping at the screen in shock for its entire running time! The film is supposedly loosely based on the real-life horror story of serial murderers Fred and Rose West, who raped, tortured and murdered their victims, including their own children. While the atrocious crimes committed by the West’s are appalling and no film could ever truly show the horror experienced by their victims, Mum and Dad does a very good job of creating an unpleasant atmosphere and showing us how depraved the two killers are.

Mum and Dad certainly captures the perversion and savagery of the two title characters. One of the early scenes shows “Dad” pleasuring himself with a bloody body part while another shows the family gathered for a normal-looking breakfast while a hardcore adult film plays in the background. It also doesn’t shy away from showing the two killers’ sexual perversions as well. The level of depravity isn’t there just for exploitation, but to show just how completely psychopathic and dysfunctional the family is. The film by no means cheapens the experience by solely focusing on the gore (which there isn’t a lot of, though it has its fair share of torture), instead it is more of an intense psychological study of a seriously fucked up family who exist far beyond any normal moral standards.

I really enjoyed how writer/director Steven Sheil made the characters of Mum and Dad try to have a “normal” façade – especially in one of the first scenes after Lena’s abduction where the family as a whole is introduced. While the family acted like monsters the night before, at breakfast everyone is amiable and acts like a normal, happy family. Mum cooks up breakfast, Dad reads his morning paper, Birdy chit-chats and Elbie cleans up bloody body parts. Meanwhile, Lena sits very confused as a porno plays on the kitchen television. You definitely don’t see such unsettling scenes like this in your average horror movie! Also, the fact that Dad worked a normal job and had friends really upped the creep factor in the film. I mean, this family of psychos could be your next door neighbors and you wouldn’t know it! Besides Mum and Dad, the characters of mean-spirited Birdy and remorseful Elbie are equally effective. While the tortures that Mum and Dad inflict on Lena would be enough, the manipulative nature of Birdy and the forlorn attitude of Elbie contribute to her suffering. Even though Birdy and Elbie went through the same ordeal as Lena, they offer her no help and no support.

While the characters were very well-developed by Sheil, the wrong actors could have spoiled the careful tension between everyone. Luckily, Sheil cast a dynamic cast to make sure the characters were played to their full potential. First off, Olga Fedori was fantastic as Lena! She really makes you sympathize with her character and gives a very strong performance. I also liked that her character tried to outsmart her captors and waited to see when she had an opportunity to escape. Next we have Ainsley Howard as Birdy. She made her character extremely likable in the first few scenes, but when we find out who she really is and how mean-spirited she can be our opinions are soon changed! Howard handles this switch extremely well and makes it believable to boot! Toby Alexander doesn’t speak any lines in the film, but his tortured puppy-dog eyes speak volumes as to what he is going through. Finally, we have Dido Miles as Mum and Perry Benson as Dad. These two play their characters so well that even though they were committing heinous acts I couldn’t wait to see them back on screen. Benson brings a repulsive quality to his blue-collar dad and nearly oozes with unpleasantness. Miles is both doting and dangerous as Mum, who “plays” with her “children” by cutting deep gashes all over their bodies.

As for the direction by Sheil, I couldn’t have asked for better. The house where the horrors take place is equal parts dingy (in the torture rooms and where Lena sleeps) and cozy (in the kitchen and living room areas, which look normal). I also liked how the focus wasn’t on the torture and the gore, but went deeper and really showed the twisted relationships between the members of the family. The film was shot in just 17 days, but nothing feels rushed or out of place. The deliberate pacing works perfectly and there is a palatable tension throughout the entire film. The film is set right next to an airport, lending even more credence to the fact that the family had an endless supply of transients (and their luggage) to pick from.

It seems that the issues of the perverted family and/or killer kids has been a staple for horror films for years (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Frightmare, Children of the Corn the more recent Eden Lake), but Mum and Dad really hits a raw nerve with its grim tone and its “real” aspect. This is one film that will surely leave you feeling disturbed and a little dirty after watching it! It is certainly one of the best British horror films I’ve seen and will definitely make you appreciate your own family more!

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Shuttle (2009)

When you think about it, we entrust our lives to random drivers on a daily basis. We rely on the drivers of taxi cabs, buses and shuttles to take us where we need to go. We are confident that once we step into their vehicle that they will take us to our desired location. We don’t ask questions if they take certain “shortcuts” and place our full trust in the driver to get us there in one piece. What if, though, a driver decided to kidnap you and make you his or her prisoner?

This is what happens in Shuttle, when two girlfriends, Mel (Peyton List) and Jules (Cameron Goodman), arrive back home after a weekend getaway in Mexico, only wanting to return home as soon as possible. The airline loses Mel’s luggage, so they are the last ones waiting for a shuttle that will take them home. They flag a shuttle down, but another driver (Tony Curran) offers them a ride at half the cost so they accept. Two guys, Matt (Dave Power) and Seth (James Snyder), from the same flight also decide to take the shuttle, and the four join the lone passenger on board, a jumpy businessman named Andy (Cullen Douglas).

The five passengers soon realize that their driver isn’t taking them to their desired destinations, but has much more nefarious plans…

Shuttle is an amazingly well-done and tension-filled film. I was surprised that it wasn’t just another standard slash ‘em up horror flick, but actually had depth and kept you guessing the whole way through! It also benefited from sympathetic characters, realism and some cringe-worthy scenarios (and I’m not just talking blood and guts here).

The story, written by Edward Anderson (who also directed) is simple yet extremely taut. Like the characters, we never know exactly what is going on or why they are being kidnapped. Anderson adds odd little clues as to their destination, but nothing is revealed until the end, where all the puzzle pieces come together to reveal the true tragedy of the situation. The suspense created by the mystery of not knowing what was going on was fantastic, and my eyes were glued to the screen for the entire running time. I kept trying to guess what was going on and why, but nothing could prepare me for the impact of the devastating ending.

I also liked how Anderson addressed an important issue with his film (one that I can’t mention specifically without giving too much away). While people might assume it happens only in third world countries, Anderson brings attention to the fact that it happens right here in the United States. He also doesn’t try to exploit the issue at hand, but shows just how horrifying and terrible it really is.

Anderson also does a fine job of developing the characters. While he doesn’t go too much in-depth with them, we still feel for them as they try and try again to get out of their terrifying situation. It was refreshing to see characters that fought back and tried to get away, yet still had the decency to not leave their friends behind. The fact that they were at the “wrong place at the wrong time” also adds to the sympathy you feel for them.

The acting is very well-done, especially by Tony Curran who plays the Driver with surprising restraint while still managing to come off as dangerous and menacing. He doesn’t take sadistic pleasure in brutalizing his passengers, instead portraying the Driver as a weary worker just trying to do his job. Peyton List was fantastic as Mel, who was the backbone of the group of passengers. With few exceptions, she fought back every chance she took while protecting her friend Jules. She really elicited the viewer’s sympathy, especially when you think she is getting away only to be re-captured by the Driver. Cameron Goodman as Jules took an unlikable characters, a spoiled little rich girl, and actually made her likable! As the characters get deeper and deeper into the Driver’s plan, you can’t help but feel for the whimpering Jules. With a lesser actress in a role, Jules could have just come off as annoying, but Goodman turns it around so you are sympathetic for her character.

The direction by Edward Anderson is extremely solid for a first-time director! Most of the action takes place on the cramped space of the shuttle, but Anderson utilizes the small space well, giving it a claustrophobic feel. Most scenes are also bathed in grimy, florescent lighting, adding to the grim menace of the film. The direction also has a certain fluidity that keeps the action moving on relentlessly.

My only problem with the film was that the driver was seemingly impervious to mortal wounds. The passengers fought for their lives against him and certainly left their mark. The driver was bludgeoned, stabbed, involved in a nasty traffic accident and even shot, but every time he got up and was as good as new! While this certainly hurt some of the film’s believability, it still didn’t effect my overall enjoyment of the flick.

Shuttle is a horror film that travels in the fast lane, moving at a break-neck speed toward its devastating conclusion all the while keeping you guessing as to what is going on. Its thrilling, well-written story, sympathetic characters and sure-fire direction make this a very smart choice for savvy horror viewers who crave an intelligent, psychological horror film.

Available from Amazon!

Perkins 14 (2009)

Out of all the new After Dark Horrorfest DVD’s released this April, I was actually looking forward to Perkins 14. Perkins 14 is a collaborative effort from the horror community and massify.com. Writers submitted ideas, audition tapes were submitted and fans could pick what they thought was the best of the best. Eventually, a winning story and cast were chosen. This community effort is something I’m sure we will be seeing a lot more of and it is a very interesting concept. As for how well it works, well, that may be another story…

Ten years ago, 14 kids from Stone Cove disappeared, including police office Dwayne Hopper’s (Patrick O’Kane) young son. When Ronald Perkins (Richard Brake) is locked up in jail for a traffic violation, Hopper begins to suspect he is the “Stone Cove Killer” that abducted his son and 13 others. After investigating and searching Perkins’ property, Hopper is certain he is the perpetrator and in a fit of rage kills him…but Hopper doesn’t realize that the children are still alive or that Perkins brainwashed the children and pumped them full of drugs, turning them into slathering, fast and bloodthirsty monsters that swarm upon the town and begin killing anyone in sight.

You have to admit, the story of brainwashed kids descending upon a town like locusts and killing every single last person as revenge for their “master” sounds pretty awesome! Unfortunately, Perkins 14 approaches this story all wrong. Instead of focusing on Perkins and his brood, it focuses on Officer Hopper and his family, including his wife who is cheating on him and his teenage daughter who is trying to get with a much older rocker (ewwww) played by ex-Misfits vocalist Michale Graves. I really could have cared less about the dysfunctional Hoppers – I wanted to see just how Perkins brainwashed the kids and trained them to kill, especially since he did it all from the confines of his basement.

Unfortunately, Perkins gets offed in the first part of the movie. He is inherently more interesting than any of the other characters and played brilliantly by Richard Brake (as probably the best performance in the film), yet we have to watch the boring Hoppers as they hole themselves up in the police station as the 14 kids wreak havoc in Stone Cove. We get a small glimpse of Perkins’ motivations (which are also interesting) for brainwashing the kids, but it certainly wasn’t enough for me! I wanted more explanation and actually wanted to see Perkins’ past and how he brainwashed the kids.

As you can see, the real problem with the film is the screenplay, written by Lane Shadgett who has no other screenwriting experience listed on IMDB.com (though it looks like he’ll be adapting Bret Easton Ellis’ Lunar Park for the screen…yikes!). The story has plenty of plot holes and things that need clearing up, but its whole focus on the Hoppers is just too narrow of a scope when there are so many other more interesting things that are going on. Also, the dialogue is atrocious! When a group of teenagers were speaking, my mouth was agape in shock at the clichéd and fake way they were speaking! Most of the dialogue is awkward and comes across as stilted or out of place. For example, in one of the most inopportune moments, Hopper’s wife tries to bring up the matter of her infidelity. Lady, your husband probably doesn’t want to talk about it when there are PHP-pumped kids, one of them that used to be your son, that could break through the door any minute!

Things get a bit more fun and bloody when the 14 are let loose and begin to kill anyone in sight, but their movements and flesh-eating were a bit too zombie-like for my liking. They are supposed to kill because that is what they are trained to do, but not sit there and munch on someone’s arm! It’s not like Perkins could have trained them to like the taste of human flesh and by the looks of their strong, muscular frames they certainly weren’t starving! Despite this, I thought the gore was very well done. We get a nice scene of ocular horror that pays homage to Fulci’s Zombi 2 movie and the kids look absolutely amazing in their filthy rags and pale, sore-infested faces.

I also thought the direction by Craig Singer (who previously did After Dark’s Dark Ride) was decent, though some scenes were so dark you couldn’t really tell what was going on. By looking at the wicked cool poster I thought the direction would be a bit more stylish, but it’s pretty bland point-and-shoot with no fancy tricks. Still, overall it works for the film, I just wish some of the darker scenes were lit a bit better.

With a better script (and better screenwriter) I think Perkins 14 could have been a much more entertaining story, but as it stands it is a pretty messy attempt at a horror movie. I believe that collaborations like this from horror fans can work, but only if the right professionals are chosen to adapt it to the screen. It’s not a horrible movie by any means, but nonetheless it is more disappointing and frustrating than it is entertaining.

Available from Amazon!

Good Boy (2009)

Filmmaker Patrick Roddy follows up his dark, surreal short Mercy with the feature-length Good Boy. Good Boy starts with down-on-his-luck dreamer Max (Josh Marcantel) working a dead-end job in a dead-end Louisiana town. He dreams of moving out west, but lack of funds and his old truck that always breaks down prevents him from fulfilling that dream.

That is, until one night when he decides he’s had enough, steals cash from his employer and hits the road. The next day, his truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere and heads to the nearest house. Inside, he finds a girl chained up, but before he can help her captor, named Harley (Gary Shannon) returns. He witnesses Harley beat the girl into a pulp, but Harley’s other “pet,” named Princess (Hilary Bronwyn Gayle), sees Max. When Harley and Princess finally leave, Max tries calling the cops, but in this small Southern town word travels fast and soon Max finds himself in a cat and mouse game with Harley.

Good Boy is a stunning film and reinforces my belief that director Patrick Roddy is destined for great things! First off, Good Boy effectively captures the essence of the South. Remember the film Black Snake Moan? How it just oozed that Southern feel? That is exactly how Good Boy makes you feel. Also helping to evoke that feeling is the fantastic music used throughout the film. Mournful and soulful music in the style of country, blues and jazz capture the sorrow and hopelessness, as well as the never-going-to-give-up spirit of the lead character, Max.

Director Patrick Roddy also uses the wide-open landscape of the country to evoke feelings of loneliness, wistfulness, awe, etc. Cinematographer Jorge L. Urbina captures the run-down, expansive and eerily beautiful Louisiana backroads but also creates claustrophobia within the close, indoor scenes. Each shot, either expansive or claustrophobic, was crafted by both director and cinematographer with attention to detail and turned out beautifully! This film has such a polished, professional looking sheen that it looks like it was made for millions of dollars instead of its low budget! The cinematography itself could tell the story, without dialogue, and still be effective.

In fact, not much dialogue is used throughout the film, with writer Ken Henderson giving the actors room to stretch and really use their expressions and body movement to show emotion. I really enjoyed how the film had its quiet moments and didn’t feel the need to rely on useless chit-chat. Instead, Henderson made sure that the dialogue spoken was purposeful and used effectively.

Henderson also did a wonderful job of developing the characters. I liked how slightly odd they all were and reminded me of characters you’d see in a David Lynch or Coen Brothers film. He also created the perfect pace and tension throughout the story, with the direction and actors also contributing to the nice flow of the film.

The actors all did a fine job and should be proud to be part of such a fantastic film. Josh Marcantel really stood out and gave an electrifying performance as Max. He didn’t need dialogue to express how he felt, but showed it through his eyes and body language. He drew you into the story and kept you glued to the screen while you rooted him on. Also, Gary Shannon (who was also the lead in Mercy) plays one evil bastard and makes it look good! I loved how his character of Harley was so different from his character in Mercy. It just showed a whole new side of Shannon and proves his versatility. We also get to see Tiffany Shepis in a small role, which is always a pleasure!

Good Boy is an amazing effort by all involved, and though it at first appears to be a quiet film, once the action kicks in it shows itself to have quite the vicious streak! There is quite a bit of violence including fights, murders, car chases, sex, betrayal and so on in this film, which juxtaposes nicely with the beautiful cinematography. This psychological thriller plays out very nicely and I, for one, couldn’t take my eyes off the screen!

Good Boy is another success for director Patrick Roddy and really makes me excited to see what the future holds for him! If you can find this film playing at a festival or available for purchase, SEE IT! You’ll be happy you did!

For more info, visit Patrick Roddy’s Official Site!

A Christmas Tale (2008)

Part of the 6 Films to Keep You Awake set that was released by Lionsgate in late 2008, A Christmas Tale is set in Spain in December of 1985 and tells the tale of five childhood friends that stumble upon a body of a woman dressed in a Santa suit that’s fallen into a deep hole in the forest. After verifying that she is still alive (by pouring soda on her head) two of the kids go get the police while the other three try to haul her out of the hole with some rope. Once at the police station, the kids are ignored by the town’s cop but find a “wanted” notice for the woman in the hole. She is a dangerous criminal named Rebeca Expósito who recently stole a bunch of money from a bank. They run back to tell the rest of the gang and together they decide to leave her in the hole until she gives up the hiding place of the money. They resort to starving and torturing her to get her to tell them where the money is. Despite their promise to let her go when they get the money, they decide to keep her in the hole, afraid she might come after them for revenge if they let her out.

Meanwhile, a few of the kids are horror fans and decide to reenact a voodoo ritual on the woman that they saw in a zombie film. Soon after, the kids assume the woman has died but later find she has escaped and they believe her to be a zombie. Undead or not, she is not out for blood against the brats that tortured her.
See, this is why I don’t want kids – they can turn out to be so sadistic! This film takes a supposedly happy-go-lucky, innocent group of kids and makes them the villains. It is so easy for them to torture a human being in the name of greed that you sympathize more with the woman, a violent bank-robber, than with the 12-year-olds. They pelt her with rocks, leave her out in the rain, starve her and taunt her…No wonder she wants to take an ax to them once she escapes!

Yep, this film carries some grim tones, but it isn’t nearly as mean-spirited as say, Eden Lake. Plus, it lightens the tone with early interactions between the Goonie-like gang of characters and the 80′s setting. We get fun references to The Karate Kid, Star Wars, Ghost Busters, that Simon electronic game and even some 80′s music (in Spanish!). Then there are a bunch of horror films you can see in the background in a kid’s room (on VHS!), including Tombs of the Blind Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street, Horror Express and more! So really, despite all their viciousness, this group of kids is pretty likable. Their carefree days of hanging out in their clubhouse, watching horror movies, playing in the woods and riding their bikes come in sharp contrast to the horror they are capable of.

The child actors in the film do a terrific job in A Christmas Tale and never once did I doubt their believability. They all acted and behaved like any 12-year-olds would and even fought amongst themselves as their problems escalated. Their interactions with each other felt very real, like they really were friends in real life. Also, the victim was played very well by Maru Valdivielso. Even though she is a criminal, she still made you feel sorry for her and by the end you did want her to seek revenge on the kids.

Unfortunately, all of the violence we see on-screen is directed at the Valdivielso’s character. She gets pretty trashed in this film and I thought the makeup department did a pretty great job showing her deterioration. The gore is pretty nil except for a impalement, which doesn’t end up being that gory anyway.

The film is beautifully shot by director Paco Plaza (who helped co-direct REC with Jaume Balaguero). Plaza really knows how to capture the feeling of being a kid. The final chase through the empty amusement park is very thrilling and really gives the film some nice tension that earlier scenes lack.

The film does drag on a bit too long in the end and while I appreciated the fun and shocking “second” finale, it felt a little tacked on. Nonetheless, A Christmas Tale was a delight to watch and comes highly recommended!

Available from Amazon!

Bane (2008)

Four women awake in a drab holding cell, with nothing but wire and opaque paper walls separating them from masked nurses dressed all in white that scurry outside. They remember nothing of their past lives, not even their names, which is why their handy medical bracelets come in handy. The women discover their names are Katherine (the levelheaded one), Natasha (the tough one), Jane (the mousy one) and Elaine (the weepy one). None of them know how or why they are there and when they meet Dr. Murdoch and his partner (known only as the “Handsome Man”), neither shed any light on the situation.

The women are soon visited by a nightly intruder, known only as the Surgeon, who carves numbers into their skin while they sleep. Pretty soon the women figure out that the numbers signify what time they are scheduled to die…

What kind of sick experiments is Dr. Murdoch subjecting them to? What is their purpose? And can they survive long enough to get answers to these questions?

Amber Pictures wowed me before with their fun vamp flick The Witches Hammer and have returned with other solid, yet very different, film. Bane has a much more sci-fi feel than The Witches Hammer. It begins as a psychological horror film about four women stuck in a room (think Saw, Cube, etc.) but surprises with its sci-fi back story and plentiful gore.

The set design is rather impressive, with the medical facility where the women are being held feeling very claustrophobic and disorienting. When an escape is attempted, the escapee wanders the twisting and turning halls, with the small spaces make you feel constrained and hopeless. Kudos should be given to director James Eaves (who also wrote the script) for crafting such an effectively “imprisoned” feeling with the film’s visuals. Most of the film takes place within the holding cell where the women are kept (probably due to the small budget), but even though it is a small space, it works extremely well.

The acting is also top-notch, with all of the women giving stellar performances. Sophia Dawnay (Katherine), Tina Barnes (Natasha), Lisa Devlin (Jane) and Sylvia Robson (Elaine) all did a tremendous job. Each and every one of them was believable, without any of the over or under-acting usually found in low-budget films. Daniel Jordan (Dr. Murdoch) and Jonathan Sidgwick (the “Handsome Man”) were perfectly sadistic and sympathetic as the scientists behind the experiment.

The special effects were very impressive for a film with a small budget! The Surgeon paints the walls red with blood and the deaths are all very realistic and extremely gory! There are only four girls, though, so you can imagine that, unfortunately, the body count isn’t that high.

The story, written by James Eaves, is the one point of the film that runs into a bit of trouble. The explanation we are given for the experiment is adequate at first, but when you start thinking about it, it is never specified why four girls were needed or even why all their memories needed to be erased. The build-up is also too slow, with the Surgeon not showing up until at least 45 minutes to an hour into the film. If the women’s memories were erased, there wasn’t much characterization that could happen in this span of time, right? So the film starts off dragging, and when the killings start it feels like its suddenly switched gears and hopped genres to a bloody slasher flick. From there it jumps yet again to sci-fi territory (you’ll have to watch it and see how, but I’ll tell you that extraterrestrials are involved), which leaves the viewer a bit befuddled.

Still, despite the problems with plot and consistency, Bane is a solid effort by Amber Pictures. Bane blends psychological horrors, slasher sensibilities and a sci-fi story to make an entertaining (though uneven) film.

Available from Amazon!

Timber Falls (2007)

Some horror movies are so derivative I bet I could use the same review over and over, only needing to change names. The message behind this collective review would be that these unoriginal and woefully tired movies SUCK!

Timber Falls is no different than most horror films that feature religious backwoods fanatics. It’s pretty uninspired and unoriginal…but it does have Josh Randall’s rock hard abs on display!!

A yuppie couple is trying to “get away from it all” and decides a trip into the West Virginian State Park system will do the trick. Acres of forests, mountain peaks and rushing streams do little to soothe the soul when they encounter “the locals” that seem to pop up whatever trail they take. After a night of sweaty tent sex, the woman, Sheryl (Brianna Brown), awakens and decides to skinny dip. I don’t know about you, but after encountering a bunch of mostly lascivious weirdoes the LAST thing I would do is strip naked and give anyone secretly watching a free show. Nonetheless, this seemingly brainless beauty does and promptly gets kidnapped by a disfigured man. Cue our “hero,” Mike, (Josh Randall) who wakes from his slumber and runs around looking for his girlfriend, who by this point is nowhere to be found. When he returns back to camp after a few minutes of hollering, everything – their tent, gear, etc. – is gone! Woe is he! He then stumbles into a giant bear trap and passes out…

Mike wakes up to find himself in the cozy home of a local woman, Ida (Beth Broderick), who at first appears pretty darn normal, but soon enough he discovers her collection of human fetuses in the basement. He also finds Sheryl all tied up there with the hulking brute that kidnapped her. It seems that Ida, her husband Clyde (conveniently a park ranger, played by Nick Searcy) and disfigured brother Deacon (Sascha Rosemann) have been kidnapping couples in the hopes that one of them would conceive and carry a baby to term for them. You see, Ida can’t carry a baby to term and has miscarried countless times (hence the fetuses in jars). They marry the couple so their baby won’t be born out of wedlock and tell them to fulfill their marital duties. One problem, though, the couple just doesn’t feel too romantic under the circumstances and decide to fight back.

This is just another “crazy backwoods hillbillies” movie, but instead of featuring slobbering inbred villains it features a family that just wants a baby…and I guess they can’t afford a surrogate or don’t want to go through the adoption process. Rational and logic clearly gets thrown out the window on this one, but I wasn’t expecting anything brilliant, just a movie I could kill some time with. Unfortunately, the pacing on this movie was so slow that it felt like time was killing me!

It takes at least a half an hour for the film to get anywhere, all the while cycling through the same boring clichés. Perky city couple in the woods? Check. Clueless authority figure? Check. Hostile hillbillies? Check. Creepy religious types? Check. Disfigured bad guy? Check. And that is only within the first part of the movie! The tired, unoriginal storyline limps on through to the end.

Besides the cliché-ridden plot, it seemed silly that the overly muscular Mike (and his spectacular abs), who pretty much dwarfed everyone in the cast, would be overpowered by The Three Stooges of backwoods baby-makin’. He really needed to stop wussin’ out and go Hulk on everyone’s asses (“MIKE ANGRY!!!!”). At least that would have seemed more plausible than dear ol’ Momma Ida beating him up (or at least more entertaining).

I will give credit to the actors for putting on a jolly good show despite the uninspired story. Josh Randall and Brianna Brown do a convincing job of playing the couple, though their character development doesn’t go too deep. The rest of the cast was great as well, but my favorite was Beth Broderick (probably most recognizable from TV show Sabrina, The Teenage Witch) who played Ida. She was definitely this film’s saving grace. Her maniacal mind contrasted sharply with her seemingly sweet demeanor and you never knew what she was going to do next! I felt the character of Deacon, though played very effectively by Sascha Rosemann, was unnecessary. I also wish the film had given more screen time to the two hunters that offered some comedic relief.

Still, despite good performances I just can’t bring myself to recommend this derivative film. It is just overly predictable and bland for my tastes, though Broderick’s performance does kick it up a few notches. And I do have to thank writer Daniel Kay for featuring a scene where actor Josh Randall is strung up and his rippling muscles bathed in sweat and candlelight are in full view.

Available from Amazon!

Storm Warning (2007)

Following in the snooze-inducing footsteps of Aussie film Wolf Creek, Storm Warning revels in its repugnant, uncomfortable scenes of abuse while seemingly forgetting a full-length film needs a story to support its 1 ½ hour run-time.

An Australian couple decides to go boating one day and rents a small fishing boat. After a bit of fishing they decide to sail through some nearby marshes, but soon get lost. With an approaching storm and night quickly falling, they abandon the boat to find help and a lift back to the mainland. They find an old, empty farmhouse, but the barn is full of marijuana plants. Before they can get away from the drug dealers, the owners, a vile family of hillbillies that include a father and his two sons, arrive home. They are none too pleased to find interlopers inside their dwelling and are soon making the couple’s life a living hell. Can the couple escape the brutal captors?

First off, the wimpy and annoying lead male did nothing to arouse pity or sympathy. His stupid choices (not turning the boat around when a storm approached, getting lost, deciding to approach the hillbilly house, etc.) are what get them into trouble. When they became prisoners of the hillbillies, he really didn’t try and fight back, even when they humiliated and fondled his girlfriend. The good this is that she actually took charge and kicked enough ass for the both of them. As for the villains, they were never scary. We saw and heard far too much of them to make them intimidating or scary. They just ended up being your standard redneck weirdos with bad hygiene and an affinity for violence.

As for the story, you’ve seen in all before (in much better films) and sadly, there’s nothing new added to Storm Warning to make it stand out. It features the same characters in the same scenario you’ve seen countless times over. There are no twists and no surprises to alleviate the painful boredom experienced while watching this movie.

The scenes of humiliation the couple is forced to endure are really nothing new to the genre and there are much more brutal films that are done better than this one. So don’t let my statement of “repugnant, uncomfortable scenes of abuse” titillate you – there’s not anything groundbreaking or truly shocking shown here if you are a genre fan.

There is only one scene in the whole film that sticks out. There is a part where the couple is locked in a tool shed and the female gets all crafty and MacGyver-ish, setting up a wicked trap for the hillbillies involving fish hooks. Besides the fact that the scene requires you to suspend your belief awfully high, the end result of the trap is pretty cool to see. Despite that one flash-in-the-pan, though, the rest of the movie drags.

Director Jamie Blank’s other directorial efforts include genre films Urban Legend and Valentine, which were fun, if a little mediocre, films. With Storm Warning, though, it feels like he has stepped into the mean-spirited and over-played “torture porn” subgenre. His earlier films evoke the fun of the slasher film heyday of the 80’s, but Storm Warning fails to capture the grittiness of the 70’s exploitation films it was trying to emulate.

The tedious script, written by Everett de Roche, doesn’t help with its unlikable characters making stupid decisions and stereotypical villains. Within the first five minutes you pray that the two annoying leads are headed towards a painful death and the dull villains are just begging for an ass-whuppin’!

Storm Warning delivers just ONE worthy scene in its entire 80 minute running time. The rest is the same old backwoods hogwash we’ve seen a million times before, only in much better films. Better films that feature characters we actually care about, a multi-layered story that features surprises and twists, harrowing scenes and frightening villains. Storm Warning has none of those key components and fails miserably because of that.

The only frightening thing about the film is that I actually sat through it (I will admit pushing the fast forward button on more than one occasion, though). The good news is that now you don’t have to!!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: The Ruins by Scott Smith

Have you ever become so wrapped up in a book that it consumes you, it won’t let you put it down? Upon the conclusion you’re left slack-jawed and worn out. A few days later, you still can’t shake the feeling and the story continues to eat away at you from the inside out?

Well, having finished Scott Smith’s horror novel The Ruins (in preparation for the upcoming film adaptation), I can attest to those very emotions. Like a vine, The Ruins wraps itself around you, slowly at first, then tightening and tightening its hold so that it is near impossible to put down until the very last page.

Things start lazily enough in the book. Couples Jeff and Amy, Eric and Stacy are having one last fling together before they each head off to college. They are enjoying three weeks in Cancun, relaxing on the beach and drinking their cares away. They become friends with a German named Mathias as well as a group of Greeks, who don’t speak any English but go by Spanish names. One day, Mathias tells them about his kid brother, who set off into the jungle to follow a girl he had met to an archeological dig. The two couples, along with “Pablo” from the Greeks, decide to accompany Mathias into the jungle to try and find his brother.

After a long bus and taxi ride, they come to the jungle path they must take. They encounter some indifferent Mayans before eventually finding the ruins. There is no sign of Mathias’ brother or an archeological dig, but the group soon discovers the horrifying truth about the ruins when they remain trapped there.

I haven’t been so taken and enthralled with a book in quite some time, but The Ruins blew me away. Smith writes simply at first, but keeps buffeting the reader with an ominous feeling, one where you know something very bad is coming very soon. When trouble finally arrives, it’s far worse than you ever could have comprehended and it just keeps getting worse!

The characters are likable and relatable; I found a piece of myself reflected in each of their personalities and moods. The way Smith is able to capture both the good, the bad and the ugly in his characters makes them that much more real and “alive.” They each have their faults and make mistakes, but this is what makes them so relatable and their fates all the more horrifying.

The story itself and how it unravels is terrifying and even believable. Who hasn’t had the fear of being lost and trapped in some faraway place with no contact to the outside world and little hope of rescue? Who hasn’t been afraid of strange sounds or things in the dark? Of creepy crawlies? Of not being able to communicate when it means life or death? The characters’ realistic reactions to all these fears are very believable, their choices make sense and you can easily imagine yourself caught in the same situation making the same dreadful decisions.

As for the gore, there is plenty of it! Things get (literally!) under the characters’ skins and there are broken bones, bodies skinned to the bone, self-mutilation, strangulation, regurgitation and a fair amount of blood flow. Certain descriptions in the book had me covering my mouth in disbelief and disgust (in a good way, you know!) all the while feeling as helpless as the victims. I am definitely holding back because I don’t want to give anything away, but horror fiends will not be disappointed!

The Ruins is an emotionally intense experience, a book that manages to coil itself around you and draw you in. If you decide to read it before going to see the upcoming film that releases April 4th you had better set aside a few days, because once you pick it up you’ll find it extremely hard to put down!

Available from Amazon!

The Dark Hours (2005)

The Dark Hours is a psychological horror film from Canada that features some cringe-inducing bits and a solid (if familiar) plot.

Dr. Samantha Goodman works at a mental hospital dealing with dangerous patients, most of whom have committed sex crimes or have violently assaulted and killed women. Her husband is a writer and her sister is his research assistant. The two go up to a cabin for a weekend, and after seeing the results of a CAT scan, Samantha decides to join them. When she arrives, she tells them that the tumor inside her brain is growing and there is no cure for the rare condition. As they look on with shock, sadness and disbelief, the doorbell rings. An awkward and twitchy 20-something comes in, looking to get out of the snow while he waits for his friends. He's not he's all he appears to be, though, as seen in one shocking scene. He takes the trio hostage with a gun until Harlan Pyne arrives to take care of business. He is Dr. Samantha's patient and had been stuck in a coma for years. He has now arrived to give the psychologist a taste of her own medicine. He plays mind games with the family, trying to get the ugly truth out of all of them. If they don't play along with his games, things could get pretty messy...but he shares more with Samantha than any of them think...

I love that this movie, from the first shocking turn of events, keeps its fast and tension-filled pace. The psychological terror that Harlan puts them through is intense, and yet his intelligence and wit kinda makes you like him. There are a few solid scares in the film and some great gory parts, such as when Harlan forces Samantha to rip her own pinky finger off with a pair of pliers.

The performances are all great and very believable. I love Aidan Devine as escaped psychopath Harlan Pyne and Kate Greenhouse as Samantha Gordon. For an independent film, everything looks great and I love that the director chose to focus solely on the horror of the mind games being played instead of using flashy camera tricks.

My only quibble is that I saw the ending coming from the first 10 minutes of the movie! The woman has a tumor...hmmm...and it's growing...could this lead to hallucinations? An altered reality? The rest of the film follows the basic home-invasion plot that has been done many times (with the "twist" thrown in to change things up a bit), so it's all pretty predictable. Yet, it is the acting and the sheer brutality of the proceedings that make this movie work.

I also love anything that's not your typical Hollywood-style, dumbed-down slasher flick. Check out The Dark Hours yourself, if anything for something a lil' different than the standard fare nowadays.

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Rooms for Tourists (2004)

One of the few exhilarating and truly terrifying movies I've seen all year, Rooms for Tourists is a tension-filled indie flick from Argentina that sticks with a simple story but delivers big scares.

Five girls get off a bus in a tiny, seemingly deserted town to catch a train to Trinidad. They've arrived a little too late as the train has already departed and are stuck in the town overnight until the next train arrives in the morning. The town has a creepy vibe, and as they pass by a church, they see that most of the townsfolk are attending an exorcism. The town preacher, Horacio, is praised by those they meet, but as they see him perform the exorcism, the girls are more than a little freaked out. At the train station, they meet a kind man who explains that he lives with his brother in a large house and they rent out rooms to tourists passing through. The girls accept his offer of room and board for the night, and head to his isolated house. They get to know each other a little more, as they were all strangers when they disembarked from the bus. Each of the girls gets her own room, and they all rest before dinner. The house has a strange vibe, though and one of the girls, timid Elena, has horrible visions about a masked man butchering women. At dinner, the girls find out that a special guest will be joining them - Horacio, the preacher from town. He lectures them a bit on morals and the evil of relativity before everyone drifts off to bed. A sudden scream wakes everyone up, and they discover one of the girls is missing, leaving only a pool of blood behind. Utter panic ensues, in which they realize that all the windows are barred and all the doors are locked. They are trapped in the house, but not alone. They have a masked killer to contend with, as well as not being able to trust the two brothers. When the lights go out, them must stumble around in the dark to try and find a way out, as one by one they get picked off by the menacing killer.

A simple story, yes, but one that packs a wallop! This movie is shot entirely in black and white and was supposedly made for under $3,000, so it does look very low budget, but it doesn't hinder it. In fact, the gore actually looks better here in black and white than it would have in color. The depiction of hacked up flesh and bone is so realistic and the film so grainy, that it almost feels like a snuff movie. The opening scenes alone give us a dog and its owner getting their skulls bashed in, a woman being burned alive, lots of chopping of flesh and lots of free flowing blood.

The acting is even pretty decent...I actually cared for each of the girls. They each had their own personalities and weren't just cardboard cutouts with boobs. It reminded me of another horror movie with a great cast of women that had to fight against the odds...The Descent, another top favorite of mine from this year.

The story, though simple, was very well written and had a few interesting twists and turns. As the girls discover more and more about the house they are in, they also discover more about themselves and each other, finally realizing that each one of them shares a deep secret.

The ending of the film is brutal and shocking...no one could have seen that coming. Just when you think everything is peachy keen, BAM! the filmmakers bust you upside the head.

The film also has some strong pro-feminist views, as the audience roots for the girls in light of their situation. For the most part, the girls are strong, intelligent and put up a good fight. Their enemy is portrayed as evil and a monster, not the girls. Some have claimed this is a misogynistic movie, but I cannot disagree more with that statement. It definitely questions some religious views, but it doesn't seek to "put women in their place" (like most sorry excuses for horror films do these days).

A definite must-see for horror fans, Rooms for Tourists is a gory ride down memory lane as it inevitably brings back memories of old school horror cinema a la The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Track this one down, because I assure you it's completely worth it.

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Calvaire (2006)

A disturbing little Belgian flick about a singer, Marc, who gets stuck out in the sticks with some sick backwoods men.

Marc has just performed at an old folks home and sets out for his next gig, a large Christmas gala. He has quite a bit of road to travel, but he unfortunately gets stuck in the middle of the forest when his van breaks down. A strange young man, Boris, leads him to an inn where he meets the owner, Mr. Bartel. He spends the night and wakes up to find that Bartel has towed his car from the forest road to the inn, where he can work on it. Bartel is very kind to Marc after finding out they are both entertainers. He makes breakfast for him and promises to work on his van for him.

While Bartel works on his van, Marc decides to take a walk around the countryside. Before departing, Bartel severely warns him not to go into the village, as the villagers are "not like them." After Bartel's impassioned plea, Marc promises not to go near the village. Of course, curiosity gets the better of him and he stumbles upon a barn with some of the local-yokels inside. At first, he just hears squeals and grunts, then the sound of the men talking, and as he gets close enough, he is horrified to find out that the men are taking advantage of some of the livestock.

He hurriedly runs away and heads back to Bartel's. Meanwhile, Bartel is still working on Marc's car. By working I mean breaking and entering and going through Marc's things. He snags Marc's cell phone and some nudie pics. When Marc returns it's almost nightfall. Bartel explains he couldn't fix his car but has called the mechanic, who can't make it out until the next day. Marc is a little worried, but Bartel assures him everything will be right as rain. He cooks Marc a special dinner and proceeds to explain to him how his wife Gloria left him and how before her departure he was such a great comedian. Marc just wants to eat in peace and go to bed, but Bartel begs him to sing one of his songs. Marc finally sings, which brings a tear to Bartel's eye.

The next morning, Bartel is nowhere to be found. Marc finds his cell phone and the pictures in Bartel's room. Bartel finds Marc in his room and won't stop going on about Gloria. Marc begins to panic a little bit, finding that the phone cord has been cut and that all his clothes are gone, replaced by women's clothes. He looks outside his window to see Bartel smashing out the windows of his van and dousing it with gasoline. When Marc tries to stop Bartel, he is knocked out cold by him. After lighting the van on fire, Bartel drags Marc into the house, where he dresses him in women's clothes. When Marc comes too, he finds that Bartel believes him to be his wife that left him.

Marc's trouble doesn't stop there as he also has to contend with the villagers, who also believe him to be Gloria.

I'm not sure what to think of this movie...it was pretty disturbing and had its creepy parts, but it just didn't grab my attention. Sure, Bartel and the villagers were pretty twisted and desperate and some scenes were pretty brutal, but it still left something to be desired.

The director, Fabrice Du Welz, did an excellent job with the camera work and the Belgian countryside was gorgeous in winter. The actors all did an excellent job, especially Laurent Lucas as Marc and Jackie Berroyer as Bartel. Still, it felt like something was missing...

The story focuses on the build-up to Marc's imprisonment within the inn, Bartel's descent into madness and then Marc's brutalization. It is not a revenge flick a la I Spit on Your Grave or Deliverance, but still warns of the dangers of those that inhabit the countryside. It also moves slowly and towards the end I was confused by what happens between the villagers and Bartel.

This movie was well done and very unnerving and creepy and despite some flaws definitely deserves a look, just for its plain weirdness.

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