LovecraCked! The Movie (2006)

LovecraCked! The Movie is an anthology of short films inspired by the stories of H.P. Lovecraft that are bound together by a running gag of an investigative reporter (Elias) trying to find out more information on the famous writer. The movie is a comedy/horror and the results are a mixed bag. The investigative reporter bits and some of the shorts play like Troma-esque movies (Lloyd Kaufman is featured as an interviewee in one of the reporter segments) and get old fast, while some of the shorts have a much more creepy and satisfying tone.

- “The Statement of Randolph Carter,” directed by Jane Rose. It had a definite old school, ‘50s feel to it, but still came off as campy to me. I didn’t care for it that much, but it was still a good opener to stories inspired by Lovecraft.

- “The History of the Lurkers” (directed by Justin Powers) in which a punk rocker has the ability to summon evil and so he does...The problem being that the lurkers he summons turn out to be trench coat-wearing, porn shop-frequenting pervs. While the story was pretty original, it got old quick and dragged on too long.

- “Remain” directed by Ashley Thorp, was probably the strongest film in the bunch. Filmed with a stop-motion technique, it presents a man who paints a picture that comes to life. Definitely creepy with an excellent mood; I’d like to see more what this director can accomplish.

- The forth short was entitled “Bugboy” and was directed by Tomas Almgren. It tells the tale of a jilted lover transforming (literally, in a giant cocoon) into something more sinister. Shot in black and white, this film looked absolutely amazing and was both creepy and icky in a sticky sort of way.

- “Witches Spring” directed by Brian Barnes, was predictable and stale. A guy hooks up with a woman via the Internet, figuring he will just have some fun, but it turns out she’s a witch and is planning on using him in a ritual to retain her youth.

-The sixth short was directed by Simon Ruben and was called “Alecto”. This was another superb short that tells the tale of a man tormented by a song played on the violin. The film itself was haunting and eerie as it slowly unfolded.

- “Chaos of the Flesh” was another excellent entry. It was directed by Grady Granros and shot in black and white. A man is in the forest when he sees another man carrying an unconscious girl over his shoulder. He follows the pair to a tree stump and sees that the man is intent on cutting off the girl’s head. The two scuffle and finally the girl is saved…but she is no girl! She’s actually a demon…

- Next, we get a porno thrown into the mix, which was quite odd. It was the infamous (softcore version) of “Re-Penetrator” directed by Doug Sakmann. Dr. Hubert Breast reanimates his love interest and they proceed to have zombie sex…complete with lots of blood and internal organs, of course.

- The ninth and final short was an animated music video called “And This Was on a Good Day” directed by Brian A. Bernhard, which was probably the least entertaining.

Between each short the investigative reporter would come back for a silly segment. Sure, this was sometimes amusing, but the gig got old fast and less funny each time around. The humor was akin to Troma with a twinge of Monty Python thrown in.

My final verdict? Some of the shorts were quite excellent, but the failed reporter segue and some of the lesser shorts ruin it. If you are interested in checking out some short horror movies, by all means pick it up…but don’t say I didn’t warn you about the many duds throughout this anthology.

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