The Thaw (2009)

The threat of global warming is an issue few are ignorant on, but which many still seem to ignore. The melting ice caps, changes in climate and extinction of species definitely point to a troubling future, but it seems that few have done anything to cut back on their environmental impact on the Earth (don’t worry, I’m not going to start preaching at you).

Now, whether you believe in global warming or not, it still falls to logic that all our pollution from various industries must be affecting the environment in some way, or, at the very least, that natural resources are becoming more and more limited as more and more people inhabit our world. You can’t really argue that this doesn’t pose a strain on our environment, but still many of us (including me) have a tendency to turn a blind eye to the destruction of our planet.

Throughout history there have been instances where disease, natural disasters and other catastrophes happen that result in a large percentage of the human population being thinned. Do you ever wonder what the next chaotic event will be? Do you ever wonder if Mother Nature will finally do something to protect herself and lash out at the human population? Well, The Thaw poses that frightening question and answers it with a pretty scary conclusion.

A renowned eco-scientist, Dr. David Kruipen (Val Kilmer) is in remote northern Canada researching the effects of global warming. He and his team uncover the preserved remains of a woolly mammoth, but soon discover that the mammoth is also harboring a deadly 20,000 year-old parasite that quickly infects them.

Meanwhile, a group of three students and Kruipen’s daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac, from The Last House on the Left remake) are on their way up to the research facility. When they arrive via helicopter, they discover the research facility deserted…except for a decaying corpse of a polar bear.

They soon discover that the nasty little parasites are inside the polar bear and lay eggs inside of their victims. Sure enough, they start getting bitten by the parasites, but that’s not all. After the bugs lay eggs inside their hosts, they eat their way from the inside out. The group must find a way to stop the bug’s spread, before they are unleashed upon the world.

The Thaw is a realistic horror film that seems especially relevant in these turbulent times. I like my horror films to be pertinent and socially conscious, and The Thaw fit the bill perfectly. Of course, even those that prefer blood and guts over social commentary will also be pleasantly surprised by the tension-filled The Thaw.

In addition to the relevant story, the pacing of the film is very fast. From the opening scenes of a nasty bug extraction to Dr. Kruipen’s videotaped confessions to a grisly scene of amputation and the nasty bug infestations, my eyes were glued to the screen for the entire running time. The action was tense, and except for a few poor decisions by the characters, everything felt very realistic. The characters were also refreshing and didn’t feature the usual dumb teens. Evelyn was a wonderful final girl who took charge almost immediately and seemed to have more common sense and scientific knowledge than the students. The students were a bit grating at times, but overall their characters’ reactions felt realistic…even if some of their decisions were poor.

As for the actors, most of them did a commendable job, especially Martha MacIsaac as Evelyn. She came off as a spoiled brat in the beginning, but really showed some intense leadership skills as the film progressed. I also have to point out Viv Leacock, who played Bart the helicopter pilot, for his even and brave portrayal…even during and after a nasty amputation. Val Kilmer must also be mentioned here, even if he was only in a third of the film. He played the Doctor very convincingly, with an eerie, unsettling calmness that really forewarned of the calamity that would follow in his wake.

The special effects were the real standouts of the film, though. From the parasites burrowing and squirming into flesh to the mushy egg sacs to the freshly-hatched young devouring their hosts and so on, I was left with the heebie jeebies! Nothing is completely over-the-top, but the gruesome scenes carry with them a sense of reality, like something is possible and could happen…if we aren’t careful. The film reminded me of a mix of Cabin Fever, The Ruins and The Last Winter.

The Thaw is a film that creeps under your skin and squirms there, tickling your mind with its social conscious stance as well as its gruesome set pieces. It reminds us that Mother Nature can only take so much before she reveals her most shocking secrets to us…secrets that could spell humanity’s demise.

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The Devil's Nightmare (1971)

Another little seen Satanic film from 1971 is The Devil’s Nightmare (La Plus Longue Nuit du Diable) aka Castle of Death aka Nightmare of Terror aka Succubus, etc., etc. Usually only familiar in Euro-sleaze or Euro-horror circles, The Devil’s Nightmare is a surprisingly entertaining flick dripping with gothic atmosphere and surreal scenes.

The film begins during WWII, where the Baron’s wife is giving birth. Upon learning that the babe is a girl and that his wife died in childbirth, he stabs the baby to death. Quite a shocking opening from a 1970’s film!

We then jump ahead a few years, where a reporter is interviewing the Baron in his dark and dreary castle about his family’s past. He seems to think his family is cursed, having made a pact with the Devil centuries ago that states the oldest daughter of each generation must serve the devil by becoming a succubus (and explaining the earlier scene where he killed his daughter). After this illuminating interview, the reporter makes the mistake of tarrying too long taking photographs of the castle and meets a grisly end. We then meet a group of travelers who are forced to take refuge in the Baron’s castle after becoming lost and taking directions from a creepy, corpse-like man. Each of these seven travelers is supposed to represent one of the Seven Deadly Sins (Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride), though some are easier to distinguish than others.

That night, they are introduced to a mysterious visitor (played by stunning redhead Erika Blanc, known for her sleazy Euro-horror roles in films like The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave and Kill, Baby… Kill!), who begins to lead each traveler down the road of temptation! Turns out she is a succubus and lures the sinners to their damnation with their specific vices. The only one who doesn’t fall under her decadent-but-deadly spell is the lone priest in the group, but can he stop her and the Devil before all their souls are damned to Hell?

While the story, written by Jean Brismée (who also directed) and Pierre-Claude Garnier, seems like a pretty straightforward allegory inspired by medieval morality tales, it also features a surprising and clever twist ending. I definitely didn’t see the ending coming, and when it actually happened it threw me for a loop! Quite the wicked little surprise that shows you should never make a deal with the Devil! Besides the ending, the story is kept lively by the colorful and sinful characters, keeping the audience rooting for their deaths! There is the annoying married couple, with the sleazy husband who covets other women (Envy) and the distrustful yet rich wife (Greed), a nymphomaniac brunette (Lust), a lazy blonde (Sloth), a holier-than-thou priest (Pride), a cranky old man (Wrath) and a hungry tour guide (Gluttony).

There isn’t much gore to speak of, but some of the ways the travelers are done away with are pretty amusing. The glutton of the group eats himself to death and chokes on poisoned wine (and the close-ups of him stuffing his greasy mouth are probably the most disturbing of the movie) while a greedy woman drowns in a mound of gold. Other kill scenes make little sense and don’t seem to tie into the specific person’s sin (like the Sloth woman dying from snakebite while she sleeps). Still, the scenes of the succubus stalking her prey, with her sunken cheekbones and ghoulish makeup, are always entertaining.

I also enjoyed the Baron’s creepy gothic castle that looked like it was transplanted straight from Transylvania. With its intricate stonework, gaudy Baroque furnishings and rich red drapes, Dracula would have felt right at home! Of course, Satan’s succubus considered it pretty comfy as well.

My only complaints were that the film drags a bit too much in certain parts, especially during some drawn-out lesbian scenes that go on for way too long. Maybe certain guys will enjoy them, but the soft-focus, girl-on-girl action did nothing for me, especially with the ridiculous paisley decorating scheme and the horrible ‘70s music lurking in the background. I also wished that some of the deaths tied more into each traveler’s particular sin instead of running out of ideas halfway through the film and having them die in seemingly random ways.

Though The Devil’s Nightmare certainly has its faults, I was still surprised by the entertainment value it offered. This film isn’t for everyone, but those that appreciate classic Euro-horror will most likely get a kick out of it. If you haven’t seen it, it at least deserves one viewing! It would be a sin not to see it!

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The Brotherhood of Satan (1971)

In this little-seen and underrated Satanic flick, elderly residents of a isolated town have taken to snatching children and turning them into followers of Satan. Once they’ve collected enough children, a ritual will be held to transpose the senior citizens souls into the bodies of the kids, giving them renewed life!

Meanwhile, Ben (Charles Bateman), his girlfriend Nicky (Ahna Capri) and his daughter K.T. (Geri Reischl) are on their way to grandmother’s house when they happen upon a horrible accident and drive to the nearest town for help. Unfortunately, it’s the same Satanic town mentioned above and there they are met with hysterical townsfolk. They drive away, but car trouble forces them back into town. Once back in, a supernatural force keeps them and the rest of the townsfolk trapped. Seems that the senior citizen Satanists need one more child to perform their Black Mass, and that child is K.T. Will Ben save his daughter and the town before it’s too late and the small fry of Satan are unleashed?

The Brotherhood of Satan certainly has a convoluted and confusing way of unfolding its narrative, but as the pieces come together you are drawn further and further into the story. Besides its weird narrative structure, the film also boasts some odd scenes including a toy tank turning into a real tank and crushing a car and a dancing doll that causes the death of some parents, among others. The real highlight of the film for me was the Satan-worshipping party the seniors had. It was just like a potluck, except upon entry each person pledged their allegiance to Satan and one of their own was tried for allowing her grandson to be baptized. When she was deemed guilty, the ferocity and rage her brethren had towards her was truly frightening. There are also clever ideas used throughout the movie, including children’s toys as the instruments of murder (I don’t want to speak too much on this lest I give anything away, but toys come to (larger than) life to exact murder on parents).

Though the film is very PG-ish and lacks much blood and/or gore, the use of weird camera angles, an evocative score, creepy kids, the colorful visuals and the disorienting narrative really help give it a nightmarish, disturbing quality. Director Bernard McEveety and writers L.Q. Jones (who also stars as the town’s sheriff), Sean MacGregor and William Welch did an excellent job with the film, and I can’t understand why it hasn’t gotten more recognition over the years. It certainly isn’t perfect (especially with the confusing narrative structure), but it certainly deserves another look from horror fans.

If you are looking for a quirky ‘70s Satanic movie, The Brotherhood of Satan is one that should not be overlooked. With shades of Rosemary’s Baby and Race with the Devil, it really deserves a bigger audience!

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Offspring (2009)

I had highly anticipated seeing Offspring, another film adapted from a Jack Ketchum novel with the script actually being written by Ketchum (he also makes a small cameo appearance in the film). The other two recent films that were adapted from Ketchum’s work, The Lost and The Girl Next Door, were both disturbing and extreme, so I was really looking forward to what they did with Offspring. Unfortunately, I was left luke-warm with this film and feel it is the weakest Ketchum adaptation to screen to date.

Offspring has a relatively straight-forward plot…a small New England town and its rural-dwelling residents are terrorized by a group of feral cannibals that are descendants from a lighthouse keeper that went missing with his family in the 1800’s. They’ve been living in the wild on the coast of northern New England and Canada and eating human flesh ever since.

This being a Ketchum-based story you can expect all the usual nasty and uncomfortable violence aimed at women and children, and this film has it in spades. Babies and children get slaughtered, women get brutalized and most of the men end up as gory slabs of meat. There’s lots of gore and blood on display, but it’s never so over-the-top that it becomes memorable. In fact, the only real gory bits that were memorable included the opening scene where a drunken mother stumbles back to her home after a night out to find her babysitter and baby butchered by the group of the feral kids and another scene where a captive woman is “eaten out” in a horrifying way. Maybe I’m just jaded, but while the violence was non-stop it didn’t really resonate with me.

Obviously, this film has its moments of shocking violence (we are dealing with feral cannibals here), made even more disturbing when it’s aimed at or perpetrated by children, but this dark tone is (unintentionally) lightened by the ridiculous look of the cannibal family. From their bushy hair to their ridiculous rags that made them look more like they were emulating the Lost Boys from Disney’s Peter Pan rather than frightening flesh-eating kids. Big points off for making the villains more silly than scary.

Despite the silliness of the costumes, there was one actress whose commanding presence was very frightening, and that was Pollyanna McIntosh. She played the matriarch of the cannibals and her snarling commands and brutal force were probably the scariest of the entire film. It was definitely nice to see such a vicious female villain for once! While the other actors all did a decent job, McIntosh was the real standout. I also appreciated that the female victims were actually resourceful and fought back against their cannibalistic captors instead of just weeping in a corner.

Director Andrew van den Houten did a great job evoking that atmosphere of the isolated and deserted New England coastline. There were a lot of aerial shots of the rocky coastline and desolate forests to show just how a freaky-looking cannibal family and its decedents could survive without detection. I also thought the evocative and sparse score, by Ryan Shore, was absolutely stunning and really made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. If anything in the film created a foreboding atmosphere, it was Shore’s score.

Sadly, there aren’t many scares in the film, just a lot of gory cannibal scenes that quickly get repetitive. Sure, Ketchum throws in an estranged asshole husband into the mix and the ineffectual police, but the real focus is always on the cannibals vs. the innocent family. It just wasn’t enough for a full-length movie and the premise starts to feel stretched thin towards the end. The “psychos-in-the-woods” bit has been done to death, and this is just a slight variation on the Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Wrong Turn, etc. formula. There just isn’t enough originality and uniqueness to the story considering all the past and present inbred/hillbilly/backwoods cannibal movies.

Offspring has its flaws and definitely isn’t for those seeking something completely unique. Rather, it is recommended for Ketchum fans who want to see his work adapted to the screen and to those that would like to see taboos of children killing/children getting killed broken. Regular horror fans may be bored at the repetitive nature of the film and gorehounds will be disappointed by lack of memorable kills (though there are plenty of blood and body parts flung around).

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Paranormal Activity (2009)

So, I finally got to see the movie everyone’s been talking about, Paranormal Activity. I saw it in a packed theater Wednesday night and tried to go in as unbiased as possible. I had just seen the previews and stayed away from reading many reviews. Now, I realize that the hype for the film is HUGE, but I tried to approach it with little or no expectations, which, by the way, is hard to do when it’s proclaimed one of the “scariest movies of all time”!

Now, I realize I might be beaten with sticks over this statement since everyone out there seems to be raving about Paranormal Activity, but at the end of the night I was disappointed. I enjoyed it, yes, but I didn’t love it and certainly didn’t think it was that scary. And I had so wanted to be scared…

The movie starts with no credits and no intro, just a title card thanking the families of Micah Sloat and Katie Featherston and the San Diego Police Department before jumping into the “found” home footage of the couple. It opens on Micah (Micah Sloat) playing around with his new video camera before his wife Katie (Katie Featherston) gets home. When she gets there, he tells her that they can finally document all the paranormal activity that has started occurring, like weird noises, lights flickering, whispering, scratching and thumping.

Katie seems hesitant to talk about the haunting, and confesses it has been happening since she was eight years old and that the entity follows her whenever she moves. Micah doesn’t take the situation too seriously, but is determined to capture some paranormal activity on their camera. He films everything and even sets the camera on a tripod when they sleep.

Sure enough, unexplainable things begin happening and soon this paranormal activity just gets worse.
Paranormal Activity is the kind of film I would recommend for the casual horror viewer. You know, the type who sees an occasional horror film or two in the theater but isn’t a hardcore fanatic like most of us. Not used to the usual horror tricks, the casual horror viewer will definitely be freaked out by this film. I heard one such viewer say behind us in the theater, “Why is this film so scary?” Well, that’s easy…it’s because it preys on your fear of the unknown and wisely keeps the entity unseen. I really enjoyed the subtle approach Paranormal Activity took in the scare department – it really is the unseen and unknown that’s freaky! And yet, I didn’t get adequately scared during the film’s duration. A bit unnerved and in awe during certain parts, but not that heart-pounding fear that I was hoping for.

Now, perhaps I didn’t get scared because of the repetitive narrative structure of the film. It always starts with the couple filming themselves during the day, then at night while they sleep and something freaky would happen (subtly at first, but escalating to become more intense), then discussing it in the morning and at night it starts all over again. The pacing is a little on the slow side, too, which left me checking the time while watching the movie. Any suspense that had been building would be lost during the slowly paced scenes. Plus, skeptical Micah would throw in lots of humorous lines (surprisingly, this movie is really funny!) that would dissipate any tension that had started to build. I really wish more “oh-shit” moments had been thrown in – like certain ones including an old picture in the attic and a Ouija board.

Despite the repetitive nature of the film, I did like the actual story and the direction it took (this isn’t your typical haunting!). I don’t want to give anything away, so I won’t way much more, but I will say that there were several instances (the footprints, the standing by the bed) that were effectively creepy. Plus, the whole explanation of what was going on and the ending was pretty damn near perfect. Again, I just wish there had been more of those eerie instances in the film.

As for the rest of the film – the acting, the direction, etc. – it was all fantastic. The two leads did an amazing job portraying a couple and their interactions with each other were completely natural. Also, the direction, by Oren Peli, was amazing. I’m not sure if he actually gave the camera to the actors and said “Go with it” or if they had more stringent blocking to follow, but whatever he did worked. The home video footage looked incredibly authentic and all the different angles looked like they had been shot by the one camera. Perfectly brilliant way to shoot a paranormal movie!

So, as you can probably tell, I’m torn on Paranormal Activity. There are some things I loved about it (the story, the acting, the direction and some of the creepy bits) but some things just didn’t work for me (the repetitive editing, not enough scares). I really wish the hype around the flick hadn’t been so huge, because honestly, even though I tried to go in with no expectations, the hype got to me and I expected to see something that was gonna scare my skirt off. Disappointingly, my skirt stayed firmly on.

However, if you do plan on seeing this movie, do it in a theater full of people! This is a surefire way to get the most bang out of your buck, because the reactions from some people in the crowd are priceless! And since I didn’t find it exactly scary on the big screen, there is no way in Hell that this will be scary on the small screen. This film is one that MUST be seen on the big screen to do it any justice.

Paranormal Activity is enjoyable, but you won’t soil your undies over it. It’s no Blair Witch but it still makes for a fun movie-watching experience. Just don’t believe the hype!

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Splatter Movie (2008)

Many people don’t know all the hard work it goes into making an independent film. Tight schedules, limited resources, limited time and, worst of all, low budgets. There is a lot of love and passion that must go into making an independent horror movie, because even after facing all those challenges, you don’t know if there will even be an audience that wants to see it! So, when I popped in Splatter Movie: The Director’s Cut, an independent movie within a movie within a movie and so on, I was intrigued to see how much it showed of the filmmaking process…and the story itself is pretty ingenious.

In Splatter Movie, director Amy Lee Parker (played by real-life director Amy Lynn Best) is setting up to shoot her latest indie horror film at Hundred Acres Manor, a vast Halloween haunt that boasts dozens of different creepy walk-throughs. A documentary crew is following her around to capture all the behind-the-scenes mayhem so they can put it on the DVD’s special features. As for the film she’s shooting, it’s about a group of filmmakers and actors going into a supposedly haunted attraction to shoot a movie…only a killer is picking them off one by one. In a case of life imitating art imitating life that is exactly what happens to Parker and her crew. Someone wearing the killer’s costume is going around actually butchering people!

Splatter Movie: The Director’s Cut is an inventive piece of indie cinema and for the most part it was a very enjoyable ride! Writer Mike Watt and director Amy Lynn Best have been writing and directing independent films with their Happy Cloud Pictures imprint for a long time now, and Splatter Movie just shows they are still on the top of their game! My main praise for the film stems from its inventive “movie within a movie within a movie, etc.” structure. It seemed that everything in the film echoed reality, from the actors names that were either the same or very close to their real names to scenes that mirrored scenes they were shooting for their film. It really makes my head spin to think about it! Kudos to Watt for such a clever premise!

I also loved how the documentary-style look of the film made you feel like you were right there with the cast and crew, going through all the trials and tribulations of making a low-budget movie. The behind-the-scenes stuff, from the makeup/special FX applications to following the bitchy assistant director around to watching a scene being filmed, was way fun and really gives you a better understanding of the challenges of making a low budget film.

There were also some amazing cameos from some familiar faces within the indie horror community. Besides Amy Lynn Best, whom many people are familiar with, we get Tom Sullivan, playing himself, who worked on The Evil Dead trilogy, scream queens Debbie Rochon and Elske McCain and many other recognizable faces. Everyone is basically playing themselves, so it’s hard to credit anyone with giving a fantastic performance, but I really loved watching Debbie Rochon every time she came on screen! And her big rape scene within the movie within the movie was absolutely hilarious (I know that sounds callous, but if you watch the movie you’ll totally understand…they totally flip your expectations upside down).

Yet, despite all the positives there were still a few drawbacks to the film, namely, the length of it. The behind-the-scenes chatter went on a bit too long and I would have liked to see more of the actual killer sooner. Though the kills were nice, with the appropriate amount of blood and gore, I felt they were too short. I found myself fast-forwarding through the more boring scenes within the film (like the copious lesbian scenes…one would have sufficed if it was needed at all) to get to the REAL action. The film definitely started dragging after about 45 minutes and the ending took way too long to wrap up (though I did appreciate the surprise reveal of the killer!). A little bit more cutting and editing and Splatter Movie would have been much more enjoyable to sit through.

The positives of the film outweigh the negatives, though, and overall I really found myself enjoying Splatter Movie. If you are an indie horror fan I think you will too!

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Seventh Moon (2009)

Eduardo Sánchez returns to direct his third film after co-helming The Blair Witch Project and directing his under-appreciated Altered. Like his previous films, Seventh Moon keeps the cast small and the action psychologically intense, creating an atmospheric film. Yet, Seventh Moon is probably my least favorite of Sánchez’s projects, hampered by unnecessary shaky cam and too much repetition.

Newlyweds Melissa (Amy Smart) and Yul (Tim Chiou) are honeymooning in Yul’s home country, China, during Hungry Ghost month. Every seventh moon on the seventh month the gates between the living and the dead open and the dead are free to roam the earth. Chinese leave offerings for the dead so they won’t enter their homes and play evil tricks on the. Melissa and Yul happily go along with the traditions, but don’t believe in the ancient legends. They have their driver, Ping (Dennis Chan), drive them to a destination in the country, but Ping gets lost and must wander to a nearby village to ask for directions. When he doesn’t come back, Melissa and Yul go looking for him, but find only live animal offerings tied up in the village’s courtyard. None of the villagers will open their doors and Yul can’t quite make out what they keep chanting. Sufficiently spooked, Yul and Melissa head back to the car and try to drive away, but after something dashes across the dirt road, they crash the car and must continue on foot as the spirits of the dead close in on them.

From the get-go Seventh Moon failed to really grab me. From Yul and Melissa taking part in the rituals and burning offerings in the city to when they ended up in the desolate countryside I just never got fully invested in the story or the characters. I appreciated that the writers, Jamie Nash and Eduardo Sánchez, tried something new and didn’t stick with a traditional Western horror story but I just didn’t enjoy how the story was executed.

First of all, the unnecessary shaky cam got really annoying really fast. Its use made sense in The Blair Witch Project, but I was baffled by its use here. Does Sánchez really want to be known as “that guy” who uses unnecessary shaky cam in all his films? I understand using it to put the audience “in the moment”, but its use here just distracted me from the actual story and took me out of the story rather than making me feel a part of it. Plus, there were several frustrating scenes where you couldn’t see what was going on. Perhaps this was the intent of the filmmaker in order to make it spookier, but to me it just made the film more frustrating to watch.

Second, the story was rather undeveloped and the film is basically just one big chase scene. Melissa and Yul flee from the ghosts, hide somewhere, the ghosts discover them, they run again, hide again and start the whole process over…and over…and over. Gets really boring really fast. And, of course, the whole “don’t trust country-folk” moral of the story is itself pretty generic.

As for the good, I really enjoyed Amy Smart’s performance as Melissa. Despite all her screaming, she was definitely the one in charge and kept a level head throughout the whole ordeal. Unlike some horror heroines, she didn’t just sit there and sob and rely on the guy to save her. Instead, she was the leader, crafted the plans and in the end faced off with the ghosts herself. Kudos to Nash and Sánchez for creating a strong female lead! We need more of these kick ass heroines in horror movies!

I also thought that the last scene in the film (despite the shaky cam used) was pretty damn heart-stopping, as Melissa is chased by what looks like hundreds of ghosts (you can see this in the trailer below, so, no, I’m not spoiling anything!). The ghosts themselves were pretty eerie, and Sánchez wisely kept them out of focus for the main bulk of the film. Their design was simple, but, boy, was it ever effective! I’ve got to give special FX company Spectral Motion props for making Asian ghosts scary again!

Still, despite the positives, the repetitive scenes and shaky cam movements spoiled Seventh Moon for me. A mediocre effort from Sánchez that stands in sharp contrast to his far superior earlier films.

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