Spider Baby (1964)

Spider Baby has been a long sought after, but extremely rare film to find. If you were lucky enough to see it, it was probably on a horribly transferred, scratchy VHS bootleg. Luckily, the good folks over at Dark Sky Films, bless their souls, have restored, remastered (under supervision from director Jack Hill) and released a special edition of this fantastic film.

Spider Baby, or The Maddest Story Ever Told, is about the Merrye clan, who live in isolation in the middle of nowhere in a large and creepy mansion. The Merrye children, Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), Virginia (Jill Banner) and Ralph (Sid Haig) all suffer from a rare genetic disease that makes its victims regress, first to a childlike state, but ultimately to a cannibalistic and savage state. They are cared for by the loyal chauffeur, Bruno (Lon Chaney, Jr.). The children like to play games, but it seems all who enter their gates ends up dead. When greedy distant relatives and their slimy lawyer descend upon the Merrye house, they get more than they bargain for as they realize the Merrye family will stop at nothing to protect their secret.

This 1964 film is one that definitely deserved to be given a special release. Everything from the fantastical story to the stellar acting makes this a cult classic with good reason. I couldn’t put it better than Dark Sky Films’ when they describe the film as “Luis Bunuel meets The Addams Family meets The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.” The surreal atmosphere combined with the morbid comedic relief and the few shocking scenes of brutality tie in very nicely with the overarching theme of family loyalty.

The story, written by director Jack Hill, is fantastical and entirely engaging. Hill creates memorable characters set amidst a very gothic setting (cob-web filled, derelict mansion complete with hidden passages). Throw in a tragic disease, evil relatives and multiple murders and you’ve got quite a story! Everything works in this film!

The actors must be given due credit for imbuing their characters with life. The legendary Lon Chaney, Jr. is amazing as the loyal and steadfast caregiver, Bruno. Any fans of his will delight in seeing him in this, dare I say, sweet role. It is also a treat to see Sid Haig in his early years as the child-like Ralph. Jill Banner as Virginia and Beverly Washburn as Elizabeth also do an amazing jobs as the young Merrye women. There is one creepy scene where Elizabeth plays “Spider” with her Uncle Peter and then attempts to seduce him…if that scene doesn’t give you the willies, then there is something seriously wrong with you!!

The film’s black and white print looks amazing and its restoration was carefully supervised by Jack Hill. The special features aren’t too shabby either and include a feature-length commentary with writer/director Hill and actor Sid Haig, a slew of featurettes including “The Hatching of Spider Baby,” “Spider Stravinsky: The Cinema Sounds of Ronald Stein,” and “The Merrye House Revisited,” a still gallery, an alternate opening sequence and extended scenes. All this makes the special edition of Spider Baby one to definitely buy.

I must disagree with those that call this a “B-movie.” There is absolutely nothing subpar in Spider Baby. This was even my first time seeing this film, and I was blown away at how engaging it is and how much I liked it! From the delightful animated opening scenes (complete with Lon Chaney, Jr. singing the theme song) through to the explosive end, this Spider certainly had me wrapped up in its web!

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Murder Party (2007)

If I had to describe Murder Party in one word, it would have to be…disappointing. Perhaps I was expecting to much – I heard all the hype making Murder Party sound like a mix of the quirky Napoleon Dynamite and the Roger Corman art satire film Bucket of Blood, I was expecting a funny, weird, whip-smart and viciously satirical film. Instead, I got this dull movie with only one running joke that failed to entertain or amuse.

A nebbish, middle-aged man finds an invitation to a “Murder Party” on the sidewalk. Having no plans except to stay home and watch movies with his cat, he comes up with an impromptu knight costume made out of silver masking tape and cardboard, bakes a pumpkin loaf, and is on his way to the mysterious party. After taking the subway to the far side of the city and walking quite a ways, he finally finds the “party,” which is little more than a few artists sitting around doing drugs. Pretty soon he is tied up in a chair and finds out that they intend to murder him for their “art.” As the night drags on, the artists try and figure out the most artistically shocking way of killing him and which medium is best for capturing his last moments.

The sad thing is, I was really looking forward to this film, but unfortunately it didn’t live up to the hype that has built up around it since its Slamdance Film Festival premiere. Director and writer Jeffery Saulnier had a great idea to satirize the art scene, but the, ahem, execution is poorly done. The film is a one-trick pony that sucks everything it can out of the joke anything can be art. Sure, the concept of the film is clever and quirky, but the actual film is anything but.

The characters are very poorly developed, and the supposed “hero” of the piece, the nerdy man we meet at the beginning, spends the majority of the film gagged and tied to a chair as he watches the artists argue, lust after each other, do drugs, dance and try to impress a potential grant donor. It sounds like much more fun than it actually IS, because we don’t care about any of the characters and quickly get bored with what little they do.

The dialogue, jokes and gags get old fast, too, and I couldn’t help but look at the clock every two seconds to see when the movie would be over. Some of you might bitch and moan and point fingers saying I didn’t pick up on the subtleties of the extremely dry humor, but to you I say…I tried to pick up on ANYTHNG funny, but it just WASN’T there. How this movie got so many positive reviews is beyond me. It’s like the critics were so in love with the concept of the film that they overlooked just how bad the ACTUAL film was.

After we endure ¾ of the film where the artists share their deepest, darkest secrets, hide the body of one of their friends who accidentally dies, do copious amounts of coke, screw, bop around and finally turn on each other, our “hero” escapes and runs from one of the artists who has suddenly snapped and turned into a killer. They end up at another (much larger) artists’ party where the killer massacres a group, only for the rest of the partygoers to think it is art. Ah, how ironic and clever! This is by far the best scene in the film (also because it means the movie is almost over), however obvious it might be.

Murder Party was a great concept for a film, but unfortunately the concept wasn’t expanded upon enough to fill an entire feature film. Instead of a quirky, clever horror-comedy, Murder Party becomes monotonous and trite. If you’re looking for a horror flick that satirizes the pompous artist community, I’d stick with Roger Corman’s Bucket of Blood from 1959.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Dying to Live by Kim Paffenroth

Dying to Live is a different type of zombie novel, one that takes a more humanitarian and philosophical approach to the popular zombie genre. Though there are some brutal gore scenes described in the book, author Kim Paffenroth focuses more on the interactions between people than the zombies. This different perspective in a zombie novel is wholeheartedly welcomed and is very refreshing.

After an apocalypse that has destroyed the world’s population and turned most people into the living dead, Jonah Caine continues to wander alone as he struggles to come to terms with what has happened. He kills the occasional zombie when he has to, but for the most part tries to avoid them. He comes to believe he is the only survivor until he finds a group of living people holed up in a museum. Among them are two leaders – Jack, the logical and practical military man, and Milton, a kind of spiritual leader to the people who has a special power over the undead. Jonah is welcomed into the community but also asked to prove his worth as the group tries to rebuild a civilization with what little they have left. Soon, though, they come to discover that they aren’t the only survivors and zombies, when compared with the brutality of mankind, may be the least of their worries.

From the first page of Dying to Live, I knew this was going to be an excellent book. Author Kim Paffenroth writes intelligently and immediately engages you in the story. Even though the book is very intellectually engaging and asks you to (gasp!) think, it doesn’t suffer any slow spots. The action keeps moving at a fast clip, whether it’s Jonah fighting off zombies, the community coming together to rebuild and share their experiences, a raid for supplies in the zombie-infested city, a daring rescue of a baby and her father, or the ugly side of the human condition, there is never a dull moment in Dying to Live.

The characters themselves are exquisitely developed and it is truly heartbreaking to watch them go through some of their hardships. The last few chapters are very hard to read because of the cruelty and brutality that is inflicted on some the characters. The character of Jonah, along with others, feels very realistic. It seems that in a post-apocalyptic world, people would really act, talk and think like the characters in Dying to Live. After their families, friends and acquaintances have died and returned as flesh-eating ghouls (whom they have had to kill), it seems that some very profound thinking is bound to take place! The interactions between characters feels very accurate as well, with Jonah even falling in love with one of the fellow survivors.

Author Kim Paffenroth is also a professor of religious studies, and it definitely shows in the novel. He makes reference to Dante’s Inferno, Nietzsche, The Bible, Paradise Lost and a dozen other philosophies. Don’t misunderstand and think this novel is at all preachy or stuffy…it is most definitely not. Paffenroth writes in a very accessible way that’ll make you think as well as squirm.

Critics and other authors are spot-on when they call Kim Paffenroth’s Dying to Live a “thinking man’s” novel. This is a zombie novel with plenty of heart, guts and brains (mmmmmm…brains) to satisfy any horror fan that’s looking for a more intellectually stimulating book. Dying to Live is highly recommended reading.

Buy Dying to Live!

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)

I remember when I first saw the remake of House on Haunted Hill in 1999. Sure, the original with Vincent Price is a classic, but I hold a special place in my heart for the one starring a very hammy Geoffrey Rush and some very creepy ghosts. The night I saw it was a dark and stormy Halloween. I was still in high school and my friend and I decided to ditch everyone else and go to the movies. We had to drive a very curvy and treacherous road to get to the theater (we lived in the boonies back then), so we were already kinda on edge. THEN we saw the movie, which scared the pants off of both of us. And THEN we had to drive BACK on that dark and desolate country road, with ominous trees on either side of us and curves hiding whatever might be lurking ahead…

So, since I enjoyed the experience of watching House on Haunted Hill and still count it as a guilty pleasure, I was eager to check out Return to House on Haunted Hill when it came out this October. Although it didn’t leave the impression that its predecessor did, Return to House on Haunted Hill was still a pretty fun and entertaining haunted asylum movie.

The film picks up a few years after the events that transpired in the first film. One of the only survivors, Sarah, apparently commits suicide and her sister Ariel (Amanda Righetti) is thrust into her sister’s world. It seems that Sarah was in the possession of a valuable journal that told of the location of a priceless statue of Baphomet. Ariel ends up with the journal, but soon a gang of goons kidnap her, her boyfriend (Tom Riley) and the journal and set out for the house. Meanwhile, a professor (Steven Pacey) who has been searching for the statue his entire life and his two assistants (Cerina Vincent and Andrew Lee Potts) also go to the house. The two groups run into each other, and the group of goons, led by Desmond (Erik Palladino), one of the professor’s old students, takes everyone hostage while they search for the statue. The labyrinth house used to be an asylum headed by the evil Dr. Vannacutt (Jeffrey Combs), who performed terrible experiments on the patients. The house and its unrestful inhabitants don’t particularly take to these new intruders, and soon goes into lockdown mode, effectively locking everyone within the cavernous structure. Can Ariel, the professor and the rest of the “good guys” get away from Desmond and his goons and retrieve the statue first? A better question to ask would be, can anyone get out alive?

Let’s get one thing straight before proceeding…this movie doesn’t have the same spooky atmosphere as the House on Haunted Hill, and it isn’t anywhere near as frightening, but I still found it pretty entertaining. The spooks that haunt the place are pretty creepy, and I especially loved Jeffrey Combs’ reprisal of his role as the scary Dr. Vannacutt. The vibe and monsters felt very much like Silent Hill, even with a few ghosts of those that were burned alive, like the ember babies in Silent Hill.

For direct to video, the special FX were handled quite well, though there were a few instances of shoddy CGI. I found the best scene to be when a few people fell into the murky hydrotherapy pool and a few very creepy things were waiting in the depths. Talk about tense! There are a few gory scenes, like a guy getting drawn and quartered so his body is completely pulled apart, a head splattering scene involving a very heavy fridge and a few others. While none of these feature any groundbreaking special FX, they are all done well and look great!

The acting is also strong (with a few exceptions) for a direct-to-video flick. These movie is blessed by the lovely Cerina Vincent (Cabin Fever, It Waits), sexy Erik Palladino (Dead & Breakfast, The Thirst) and who can forget Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator)!? Combs doesn’t have a lick of dialogue, but his presence and menacing performance are enough! We also get a strong female lead, played by Amanda Righetti, who comes off very realistically. The rest of the cast (though they may only survive a few minutes) also does a commendable job.

On the negative side, the movie drags toward the beginning and feels like more of a heist movie than a horror movie. It takes the main characters about 30 minutes to get inside the house, and even when they are exploring its depths, there are several moments where the action is lulled and even brought to a standstill. The good news is that the movie is only about 80 minutes long, so these lulls don’t last long. I also thought the characters were under-developed and pretty generic. I did enjoy the storyline of the Baphomet relic, even though the storyline (and dialogue) got a little ridiculous at times. Still, I was able to overlook these negatives and sit back and enjoy the film.

Return to House on Haunted Hill doesn’t live up to its predecessor or the original Vincent Price House on Haunted Hill film, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t give it a shot. This is not the greatest movie out there, but I don’t think it is trying to be. If you just want to shut your brain off and relax with a movie, Return to House on Haunted Hill is a good choice.

Available on Amazon!

My Top 10 Horror Films

In honor of Halloween, Fatally-Yours has put together a list of her favorite horror films ever!

One problem, though…we all know that “top ten” movie lists are a sham. Nobody can definitively say what the best movie is. Art is subjective. It’s all a matter of opinion…one man’s Citizen Kane is another man’s Daddy Day Care.

But, top ten movie lists are good for a couple of things. First, they stimulate conversation. They can get us all talking and discussing the merits of our favorite flicks. Also, they can expose little-known movies to a broader audience.

So, we hope you enjoy the top 10 list below and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

1. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974, Tobe Hooper)
2. Suspiria (1977, Dario Argento)
3. The Tenant (1976, Roman Polanski)
4. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920, Robert Weine)
5. Return of the Living Dead (1985, Dan O’Bannon)
6. Blood and Black Lace (1964, Mario Bava)
7. Tale of Two Sisters (2003, Ji-Woon Kim)
8. Don’t Torture a Duckling (1972, Lucio Fulci)
9. The Descent (2006, Neil Marshall)
10. Ginger Snaps (2002, John Fawcett)

Runners up: Audition, American Werewolf in London, The Shining, Dawn of the Dead, The Devil’s Backbone, Rosemary’s Baby, etc.

Fido (2007)

Fido is not your typical gore-drenched, post-apocalyptic zombie movie. Instead, it’s a comedy that lightly pokes fun at 1950’s Americana that is light on gore but heavy on laughs.

It’s the 1950s and after the Zombie Wars the zombie threat has been quelled by a corporation called ZomCon, who has invented a collar that subdues the undead. The collared zombies are now servants in the homes of almost all families. All, that is, except for the Robinsons. Distant husband Bill (Dylan Baker) had a traumatic experience during the Zombie Wars and can’t stand to be in the same room as an undead person. His wife Helen (Carrie-Anne Moss), on the other hand, is desperate to keep up with the Joneses. When the head of security (Henry Czerny) at ZomCon moves into their neighborhood, Helen brings home a zombie (Billy Connolly) so her family can fit in with everyone else. Helen and Bill’s young son Timmy (K’sun Ray) soon builds a close relationship with the zombie, even naming him Fido. Things take a turn for the worse when Fido’s collar malfunctions and he starts killing people. Timmy is so attached to Fido, though, that he covers up for him, putting the entire community at risk.

Fido feels like a cross between Pleasantville and Shaun of the Dead. Its colorful and fantastical ‘50s-styled set design, gorgeous costumes and picturesque setting complement its satirical edge very nicely. It’s not as fanboy-fueled as Shaun of the Dead, but there are some very clever quips throughout the film and I was laughing along the entire time.

Gore obviously wasn’t the focus here, so we get a few zombies chowing down on human flesh, but not much else. For this story, gore really isn’t needed, though, so the lack of it didn’t bother me.

The acting was an absolute joy to watch, especially Carrie-Anne Moss as a lonely ‘50s mom who develops a soft spot for Fido. Billy Connolly as Fido did a spectacular job, especially given the fact that his portrayals of emotion had to come solely through body language and eye contact. The rest of the cast did an amazing job as well.

My favorite part of the film, though, was probably the setting of this alternate 1950s. The always perfectly coiffed and made-up housewives, the retro furniture, gleaming cars and the colorful neighborhoods were all a treat for the eyes. The essence of the ‘50s was also captured perfectly, with plenty of satire and humor sprinkled liberally throughout. Co-writers Andrew Currie (who is also the director) and Robert Chomiak and story writer Dennis Heaton did a wonderful job with capturing the feel of the era with their script and story.

Director Andrew Currie has really crafted a fun, colorful and nostalgic boy-and-his-zombie movie! If you are looking for a zombie film that’s different and doesn’t necessarily focus on the gore (but still has a few dismemberment scenes intact), Fido is man’s best friend!

Available from Amazon!

100 Tears (2007)

Alright, so Hatchet had some pretty sweet gore scenes, especially for a low budget horror movie. I never thought another film in the indie film arena could beat its gore sequences…but I think I may have found one!

100 Tears is an independent film from director Marcus Koch that packs more graphic violence and gruesome gore into its first 15 minutes than most films do in their entire running time! Gorehounds delight, because 100 Tears is destined to become the next cult hit!

The blood-drenched film begins with Gurdy the Clown (Jack Amos) slaughtering a group of halfway home teens with the biggest cleaver I have ever seen!! After some brutal killings, we are introduced to two tabloid reporters, Mark (Joe Davidson, also the film’s writer) and Jennifer (Georgia Chris), who are sick of covering the same alien abduction stories and want bigger fish to fry. They decide to investigate the Teardrop Killer, who has been chopping up people for nigh on 20 years without getting caught. As the two begin piecing the clues together (and realizing how incompetent the police really are), they discover the killer’s carnival past and who his next victim might be. Can they stop the Teardrop Killer before he finds his next victim?

100 Tears shows that amazing special FX can be achieved with a small budget. Hell, some of the effects look better than what their big-budget counterparts could do! It doesn’t hurt that director Marcus Koch also specializes in special FX, either (for Oddtopsy FX). The opening scenes had me shouting, “whoa!!” every two seconds, and, folks, I’ve seen my share of grue over the years. I usually don’t get this excited over it, but the gore is truly the highlight of this film and what sets it so far above others.

The story was also well done, with an intriguing backstory given to Gurdy the Clown. There is plenty of material for a sequel (or prequel) should the filmmakers decide to go that route! Kudos must be given to writer Joe Davidson for the plot as well as the character development. The characters of Mark and Jennifer were well fleshed out, and even the secondary characters (such as the carnie folk) were adequately developed. My one complaint with the story was that it didn’t flow very smoothly. We were constantly jumping back and forth between killings and the investigation. Some smoother transitions could have helped.

As for the acting, I really enjoyed watching Joe Davidson and Georgia Chris play their characters. Their characters were just friends, but they had the exactly right kind of chemistry. They weren’t too flirty or too distant, just REAL. They both sucked me into the story and really made me care about what happened to them. It also helps that (with a few awkward exceptions) the two are naturals in front of a camera! Also enjoyable to watch were Raine Brown in a twisted role as a blossoming young serial killer and Jack Amos who plays a very frightening clown!

However, the film does have flaws. Besides the jumpy narrative and awkward transitions, there are some scenes that drag a little too long (especially a slapstick scene with Mark and Jennifer chasing around a midget that gets old fast), a few instances of bad dialogue, bad lighting, plot holes and inconsistencies (weren’t the cops supposed to show up at the end? Or did they just get lost?) and a rather out-of-the-blue (and into the grue) ending. Not everything works in this film, but when it does work it’ll have you cheering and cringing!

Despite some flaws, 100 Tears is still an entertaining film that boasts a killer that I would gladly welcome seeing again in a sequel. With his humongous cleaver that chops body limbs off left and right, Gurdy the Clown is a very memorable, even iconic, horror character.

Available from Amazon!