Brain Dead (2010)

Sometimes you just want to shut your brain off, grab a few beers and have a few laughs with some buddies…and that’s where a flick like Brain Dead comes in. I’ve been anticipating Brain Dead ever since I heard Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons) was attached. However, when I saw the trailer it looked pretty bad, so I put off watching it until now. Big mistake, because I actually had a great time with this low-budget flick!

A small meteor falls to Earth and lands smack dab in the middle of a fisherman’s head in Hicksville, USA. However, inside the meteor is an alien parasite, which looks a lot like a black slug, and it immediately takes over the fisherman’s body and goes in search of brains. The invasion has begun!

Nearby, a bunch of different people (two convicts on the run, two lost hikers, a televangelist and his sweet little follower, etc.) all converge on an abandoned cabin in a convenient plot twist (hey, most movies have ‘em). Their personalities clash, but soon they find themselves banding together to fight the alien/zombie-hybrid threat.

Before I get started with this review, you’ll note the alien slug isn’t anything new – we’ve seen it in films like Night of the Creeps and Slither. I noted this too as the film started, but really, it didn’t make a lick of difference because I still enjoyed the flick! Yes, the plot may be simple and it may have been done before, but it is all in the execution, which Tenney pulls off brilliantly.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled review…

If I had to pick one word to describe Brain Dead, it would be fun…or maybe bloody…or boobilicious…is bloodyboobiliciousfun a word? Well, it should be, because that’s exactly what Brain Dead is! It has over the top gore, tons of lady bumps for the fellas and plenty of rip-roaring lines (Character 1: “I’ve been shot!” Character 2: “Is it bad?” Character 2: “Have you ever been shot when it was good??”).

The characters, though plenty are disposable, are all pretty likable or at least interesting. I’m glad the film didn’t stick with the formula of horny teens in the woods, because the varied characters make things much more interesting. Plus, characters you assume would make it to the end actually become alien fodder, so you are kept on your toes! Thanks to writer Dale Gelineau for keeping things interesting!

The film also keeps its tongue firmly in cheek and doesn’t mind winking at the camera. The fun banter between characters and the over-the-top gore means the film never takes itself so seriously and neither should you!

Speaking of the gore, it is the star of the show. People are split in half, brains get ripped out, heads get blown off and the squirmy alien slugs get busy invading their hosts’ bodies. For a low-budget flick, the effects (with the exception of a few shoddy CGI shots) are pretty impressive.

Brain Dead is one heck of a fun movie. Don’t let the trailer fool you, for the actual film is an enjoyable way to unwind after a long day. Just grab some brews, grab some friends and get ready for plenty of boobs, blood and alien slime.

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Book Review: Let Me Die a Woman by Alan Kelly

Blending ‘50s pulp novel sensibilities with modern potty-mouthed wit and characters pulled from a John Waters film with a cybergoth twist, Let Me Die A Woman is a kick ass debut from Irish author Alan Kelly!

The novel opens with a rather innocuous scarecrow festival in a small town…or so it seems. Before long, the scarecrows set their button eyes on the inhabitants of the small town and massacre everyone in sight. The scarecrows, who are actually beings from another plane, have much more far-reaching plans than slaughtering a whole town, though…

Years later, horror journalist extraordinaire Bunny Flask is fired by the sleazy owner of her beloved Blood Rag Magazine and replaced by rival Alice Fiend. Seething with resentment and seeking revenge, Bunny decides to confront Alice but uncovers a horrific plot to destroy the human race in the process.

Let me Die A Woman is pulp fiction paradise! It is a gritty and gory tale of femme fatales, hellacious heroines, malevolent males and apocalyptic action that really rocked my socks off! It may be a short 109 pages, but every single one of those pages packs a wallop. It is extremely fast-paced, and once I picked it up I read the whole thing in one sitting because I didn’t want to put it down.

Given the skill of writing, it’s hard to imagine LMDAW is author Alan Kelly’s debut novel. His voice is one of a seasoned storyteller and he unfolds the violent and heated plot in such a way that holds you enraptured the entire length of the book. Kelly describes everything so vividly that the novel comes to life in your head and it feels like you are reading/watching an exploitation-style ‘50s B-movie, complete with monsters, aliens, gender-bending characters, chainsaws, strong women, outrageous dialogue and plenty of violence! In homage to exploitation/horror films of the past, Kelly even names several chapters after recognizable films, including Sorry, Wrong Number, Shivers, Female Trouble, Razor Blade Smile and Bad Girls Go to Hell, among others!

The characters are all a lively bunch, their colorful personalities taking cues from real-life horror queens like The Chainsaw Mafia founder Shannon Lark (an obvious inspiration for the chainsaw-wielding BFF of Bunny Flask) and Rue Morgue’s former editor, Jovanka Vuckovic (Alice Fiend’s vivid red hair being a reference to her). Kelly writes them all whip-smart, independent and hell-on-wheels.

Let Me Die A Woman is a no-holds-barred and over-the-top love letter to cult films in all their kitschy glory. With inspirations from grindhouse, exploitation, sci-fi and horror genres Kelly’s debut has a manic energy and originality that seems unrivaled within current genre offerings and comes highly recommended from yours truly.

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Book Review: Jenny's Dance by Bruce Kaplan

Jenny’s Dance was originally published in Australia in 1989, but after the small publisher went belly up the book went out of print. Twenty years later author Bruce Kaplan made a few small tweaks and decided to re-release the book himself in 2009.

Of course if you ask me, the book needs A LOT more editing despite its fascinating story…

After a traumatizing incident, journalist Michael Baird’s therapist recommends he take a nice long vacation. Michael heads to the sleepy resort town of Koala Bay, but it turns out things aren’t quite so quiet there. A violent series of murders is being covered up by the local authorities, murders which just might involve some young children with high I.Q.’s. Though Michael has been warned not to get involved or cause himself any undue stress, his journalistic instincts tell him otherwise and he is soon in the thick of it. Can Michael find out who or what is killing the residents of Koala Bay before either the authorities or the killer(s) kill him first?

Jenny’s Dance has an intriguing sci-fi/horror storyline, but unfortunately tends to get bogged down by sloppy grammatical and punctuation errors and slim character development.

First off, let’s get the obvious out of the way – apparently author Bruce Kaplan has never heard of punctuation or it doesn’t exist in Australia, because he uses it as little as possible. And by “as little as possible” I mean it is usually just used at the end of sentences, if you’re lucky. There are no quotation marks when dialogue is used, there are no apostrophes – neither to mark possession nor to mark the omission of letters (like “shouldn’t” for “should not”), there are no commas to mark pauses in sentences – pretty much the only punctuation that is used is the period at the end of sentences. I understand the creative omission of punctuation in something like poetry, but in a novel it’s kinda vital, doncha think? I had a hard time getting into the book (or taking it seriously) because of the heinous misuse (no use?) of punctuation. And the author even had a second time to fix all this nonsense since this was his second time releasing the book!!

Secondly, the characters all feel and act like stereotypical cardboard cut-outs (with about that much personality). The hero of the novel has a tragic past, but overcomes it to solve the case and win the girl…yada yada yada. There are the typical crooked cops and authorities, the “creepy” kids (who aren’t all that fleshed out and not so creepy) and the underdeveloped female characters. The female characters are probably the flimsiest, and exist in the book to only play mothers or love interests. Psh…I could go on a rant about this alone, but this book has so many other problems that I’ll refrain. Just know that all of the characters are stereotypical and aren’t that well fleshed out, making the reader not care that much about them. Also, things happen to the characters that just seem too convenient. Michael falls in love with a local school teacher awfully fast (their relationship seemed a bit forced and contrived) and he always happens to stumble upon bodies, among other things. At times, even the dialogue and interactions between people in the book seems off and a little stilted.

However, I will say that the storyline was intriguing and was the only thing that kept me reading. Despite the poor use of punctuation and the cardboard characters the idea behind the book was unique and interesting. I liked how Kaplan kept me guessing as to who or what was doing the killing and I especially liked entertaining the fact that it could be kids sucking the brains out of victims. I also thought the final explanation was satisfying and definitely not something you read every day. Though in the end there is a sci-fi twist, I still enjoyed the horror of the story (even though I had to sit through the horror of the formatting).

If you can stomach sacrificing proper punctuation, grammar and decent characters for a cool story,  you may want to check out Jenny’s Dance. The title doesn’t really do the book any favors, nor is it really relevant to the plot, but despite its flaws the actual story isn’t half bad. Just be prepared to slog through a messy manuscript to get to the gem of the story!

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Book Review: Murderland Part 1 - H8 by Garrett Cook

Imagine a future where killing is legal and fashion is dictated by famous serial killers like Jack the Ripper, Gacy, Bundy, etc. and serial killers are celebrities, obsessed over by fans. “Reap Chic” dominates, and Reap kids dress to emulate their favorite serial killers, from Victorian garb for Jack the Ripper to clown suits for Gacy. Serial killers are called “psychopomps” and their kills are celebrated. Cafes and bars serve food like “The Sharon Tate” and the “Mary Kelly” and are decorated with serial killer letters, artwork and blood, much to the delight of most of the population.

This is the sickening future envisioned by Garrett Cook in his slim-yet-no-less-satisfying novella, Murderland Part 1 – H8. In Murderland, serial killers are rock stars, complete with groupies and their own merchandise. Yet, one moves amongst them undetected…and his name is Jeremy Jenkins. Jeremy is sickened by the behavior of most “psychopomps”, especially since he too is a killer…but one that kills with purpose. He is convinced that beings from another dimension are turning women into breeding machines…so he has to kill as many women as he can before they are impregnated by the “Dark Ones”. Jeremy just might be the most successful “psychopomp” out there, but he doesn’t seek celebrity…he just wants to save the world from the “Dark Ones”. Yet, as Jeremy finds himself running into more and more psychopomps, he is driven to kill these worthless “entertainers” as well.

Murderland is a very inventive and dark novella from Garrett Cook. From chapter to chapter it moves from first person to third person…and we also learn there is something else inside Jeremy controlling or guiding his actions. Cook has truly created a memorable world in Murderland. The Reap subculture is intriguing and seems entirely plausible, especially today when people already revere some serial killers (like the huge following behind Charles Manson). I loved Cook’s descriptions of all the crazy Reap kids and their different costumes, from the “Whitechapel whores” (Victorian) to the “Bundy girls” (prim college co-eds) and everyone in-between.

I also loved the progression of the character of Jeremy. Whether viewing him from his own perspective or an outside perspective I could never truly tell if he was just batshit insane or if there really was “Dark Ones” invading the world as he believed. This ambiguity just made the novel even more exciting and kept me on my toes. Also, while he acted like a monster when he killed the “impregnated” women, I actually enjoyed it when he went after the (in)famous serial killers who pissed him off. I also thought he was a very clever killer – killing his victims in different ways, leaving different signatures, etc. I had mixed feelings for Jeremy at the beginning of the novel, but he quickly grew on me and by the book’s end I couldn’t wait to read more about him!

Cook has written a very fast-paced, engaging novella with Murderland Part 1- H8. It ends with a real cliffhanger, and I can’t wait to read the next installment to see what happens next!

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Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Bloodhound balloon dogs. Cotton candy cadavers. Popcorn guns. Killer pies. Circus tent UFO’s. And clowns from outer space with a taste for human blood! These are some of the wacky gags you’ll find throughout Killer Klowns from Outer Space, but despite the film’s zany feel and Z-movie reputation it has many clever moments.

If the film’s title doesn’t give it all away, the movie is about killer clown’s from outer space that land on Earth and start killing any people they come across, wrapping the corpses in cotton candy! Two college students, Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder), stumble across the clown’s spaceship, disguised as a colorful circus tent. After discovering some cadavers wrapped in cotton candy, they run back into their small town to get the cops. Of course, the older, distrusting cop, Mooney (John Vernon), thinks the two are playing some sort of prank at his expense and blows them off. Only Officer Dave (John Allen Nelson), who is Debbie’s ex, believes them and sets off to investigate. Mike’s friends the Terenzi brothers, who own an ice cream truck, also join the fight against the clowns.

Soon, the killer clowns reach town and begin offing people in creative ways…with carnivorous shadow puppets, entombing them in big balloons and cotton candy, shooting them with popcorn that turns into slithering mini-clowns, hitting them over the head with giant mallets or melting them with deadly cream pies! Can Mike, Debbie, Dave and the Terenzi brothers save the town before they all end up in the funhouse or is it already too late?

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is arguably one of the silliest yet fun B-movies you’ll come across! Brought to corny horror lovers by the Chiodo Brothers – Charles, Edward and Stephen – Killer Klowns is more fun than a barrel full of drunken monkeys! The film’s premise is decidedly lowbrow, but despite its B-movie tendencies it has a comical charm to it that raises it a bit higher (at least in my book) in comparison to other ‘80s schlock.

What also makes it so great is its colorful set design. The Chiodo Brothers obviously had a ton of fun with the bright colors and carnival-like atmosphere of the film. Everything, from the red and yellow circus tent to the labyrinth of striped and polka-dotted halls of the clowns’ spaceship, screamed demented fun! And the design of the killer clowns was equally impressive. Instead of just featuring actors in clown makeup, the killer clowns wear larger-than-life, bizarre clown masks. While some might find the costumes more corny than creepy, there was just something unsettling about the clowns and their outrageous outfits.

Despite the menacing villains, there isn’t too much to be scared of in Killer Klowns. It is rated PG-13, so it’s light on blood and gore. Still, there are some entertaining kills throughout the film. There were decapitations, puppet and shadow puppet massacres, child endangerment, a Godzilla-like “boss” clown and so on. The real star of the show, though, was the creative use of circus props used throughout the film. For example, the clowns made a balloon animal dog, which they used as a bloodhound to track down people. And the use of killer pies, cotton candy and popcorn were all very entertaining as well. The circus/carnival theme was definitely used to its max!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is one of the most outlandish and fun of the ‘80s B-movies. It’s got a crazy energy and a madcap imagination that makes it a cult classic in the annals of horror comedies. The Chiodos brothers definitely brought us horror fans a tasty treat with Killer Klowns!

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District 9 (2009)

Years ago, when an alien spaceship arrived to Earth and hovered over Johannesburg, South Africa, people rejoiced, but as the weeks dragged by without sign of life, the government stepped in to force their way into the alien spacecraft. Inside, they found a race of aliens that were malnourished and injured. In a rare show of humanity the government decided to care for these refugee aliens.

Though no one knew what brought the aliens to Earth, their ship was inoperable, so they were stuck here. After a period of alien acceptance, there was soon a backlash against the none-too-intelligent “prawns” as the aliens were derogatorily nicknamed. The public wanted them off the streets, so MNU (Multi-National United, a company put in charge of the visitors) segregated them in District 9, which soon devolved into a slum, complete with Nigerian gangsters running a racket of prostitution, illegal weaponry and cat food (pretty much the only thing the aliens like to eat).

Neither the government nor the public was interested in what went on in District 9 as long as the “prawns” stayed separated from the humans. The government and MNU (who also happened to be one of the largest weaponry manufacturers) were more interested in the aliens’ weaponry capabilities than for their well-being. The aliens’ weapons only worked for aliens and not for humans, so MNU went to great lengths to learn the secrets of their weapons. In fact, deep within the bowels of MNU, experiments were conducted  where aliens were dissected to try and find out just how their weapons worked.

In the outside world, there was still a public outcry to get the aliens out of the city, but with the government still keenly interested in the alien’s weapon technology, MNU decides to “relocate” the aliens to an area far outside the city. MNU worker Wikus Van De Werwe (Sharlto Copley) is put in charge of the relocation process, and a camera crew follows the twitchy man around as he serves eviction notices to the aliens in District 9. As Wikus delivers the eviction papers and treats the aliens like an inferior race, even gleefully torching one shack where their young are being hatched, the film cuts back and forth between this footage to interviews with people Wikus knew, all hinting at something unthinkable and treacherous that Wikus did.
I won’t say much more than that for fear of giving too much away, but let’s just say that Wikus finds himself feeling sympathetic towards the aliens in the end.

As you can see, there is a lot going on in the world of District 9. First, let me address the socio-political undertones of the film, all are which pretty heavy but don’t weigh the film down. Of course, there is the obvious location of South Africa with its history of apartheid, which was “a political system in South Africa from 1948 to the early 1990s that separated the different peoples living there and gave privileges to those of European origin.” It also brings to mind the segregation of blacks in the United States after the Civil War and up until the Civil Right’s movement, especially if you’ve seen the marketing materials designating certain areas as “human only”. Not only that, but it echoes more recent issues, like some people’s contempt for illegal immigrants crossing into the U.S. or the mass of migration of refugees and immigrants into other countries. The treatment of the aliens in the film is akin to many of these past and present circumstances – the aliens are abused, called derogatory names, exploited, used, and people want them out of their cities and to go back home. The aliens might not be the smartest or prettiest creatures, but as the film progresses you begin to feel sorrier and sorrier for them, not to mention ashamed of the human race.

On the flip side, you have the bumbling human “hero”, Wikus Van De Werwe, who only does what he does to save himself. Though at the end of the film you see him become truly heroic (though most humans in the film would beg otherwise) and actually do the right thing, most of the time he is selfish and cowardly. He is quite a contrast the main alien in the film, who is just trying to get himself and his son home safe. Again, you feel much more sympathetic to the aliens in the film than you do the humans. You can’t help but root for “Christopher” (the name MNU assigned this alien) throughout the film! Writers Neill Blomkamp (who also directed) and Terri Tatchell have really given us some food for thought with District 9 and touched on some very important and relevant issues.

The direction by Blomkamp is inventive as well. The earlier parts of the film play like a documentary, with a camera crew following Wikus around MNU headquarters and in District 9. There are also well-used security camera shots that fit quite well into the overall proceedings. The last part of the film loses the reality TV feel, but the naturalistic camera movements (yes, there is some shaky-cam) keep the audience in the moment!

Of course, this being a Peter Jackson production and a sci-fi action film, there is plenty of splatterific fun! Now, this isn’t anything like Starship Troopers, so don’t expect a bunch of aliens attacking humans being blow up into smithereens, but District 9 has its fair share of gory scenes. When the aliens’ weapons are utilized, plenty of “prawns” and humans get vaporized, leaving behind only chunks of bloody grue. The last part of the film is edge-of-your-seat action, with very cool use of the large robot weapon that is controlled by an alien on the inside! I also must mention the amazing looking aliens, who are mostly all CGI. They look entirely realistic and fit seamlessly into their environment, whether they are foraging for food, being interrogated, fighting back or scheming how to go back home.

District 9 is a unique sci-fi classic in the making. Its relevant and original story, conflicted characters and its harsh look at the human race, not to mention stunning special FX and moments of over-the-top gore, make it a must-see film! If you are looking for a summer movie that offers a lot of heart, depth and social awareness along with its frenetic action, head to District 9!

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I Sell the Dead (2009)

I have always loved the evocative atmosphere of old horror films. You know the ones – they always seem to feature fog-shrouded cemeteries, an ominous score, stark trees silhouetted against an October moon and just a deliciously macabre feel to them. So when I heard about I Sell the Dead, a film that promised the same kind of spooky atmosphere combined with a morbid buddy comedy, I was definitely eager to see it.

The tongue-in-cheek horror comedy definitely lived up to my expectations, even surpassing them at times. Not only is the romantically macabre atmosphere of old horror films perfectly captured, but the story is gleefully unique with a good heaping of gallows humor thrown in for good measure!

The film is told in flashback form, but opens in the present 1800’s Ireland with convicted grave robber Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) meeting an unkindly end at the guillotine. His partner, Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), is awaiting a similar fate when he is visited by Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), a rather odd priest who seems to take unusual delight in hearing all about Blake and Grime’s misdeeds. For five hours before his scheduled execution, Blake recounts how he fell into the corpse snatching business with Grimes, their ghoulish client Dr. Vernon Quint (Angus Scrimm) who always needed fresh corpses for his mysterious experiments, the many unusual “undead” things he and Grimes were paid to dig up and their unfortunate run-ins with the House of Murphy, a rival grave robbing gang.

I Sell the Dead is no doubt one of the best horror films I’ve seen all year! I really think 19^th century Ireland, with its bawdy bars, decrepit old cemeteries, moon-lit back alleys, desolated moors and strange isles populated by the undead, was the perfect setting for the film. It definitely captured that old Hammer horror atmosphere, giving the film a nostalgic feel. What’s even more amazing is because of a small budget the movie was filmed in New York! When there wasn’t enough money to construct elaborate sets, existing locations were used (such as for the pub used in the film) and backgrounds and such were added in by computer effects and mixed art media like photography, painting and illustration. Yet, when you watch the film, it is absolutely seamless!

Besides the nostalgic look of the film, the story, written by Glenn McQuaid (who also directed) is also absolutely delightful. As I watched the story unfold, I was just as gleeful as a kid on Christmas morning! When was the last time you saw a film that made you want to crow its praises from rooftops? Besides the fact that the story keeps popping up with surprises as to what Grimes and Blake would dig up next, the whole repartee between Grimes and Blake reminded me of Abbott and Costello-style shenanigans. There is some slapstick, but most of it is witty banter. Even the dialogue between other characters, especially Blake and Father Duffy, is very playful. The whole story has this irreverent, imaginative feel to it, but it is not without its moments of horror. Though the undead they encounter are more cartoonish than serious, there are several nice jolts throughout the film. I especially enjoyed a discovery of a vampire, though the two main characters had no idea what they had dug up and proceeded to remove the garlic around the undead’s neck as well as removing a stake through her heart. As a result, hilarity and horror ensues. Even the addition of the not-undead-but-still-damn-scary House of Murphy gang was pleasurable and added another dimension to an already colorful film!

The characters are fancifully drawn, with even the lesser characters being fully fleshed out. Besides the main characters of Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan), Willy Grimes (Larry Fessenden) and Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), I loved the menacing members of the House of Murphy, including Cornelius Murphy (John Speredakos) with his grim childhood at the hands of the cruel Murphy senior, Valentine Kelly (Heather Bullock) whose face was so disfigured by a fire that she now wears a blank, white mask that she only removes when she is about to kill someone and Bulger (Alisdair Stewart) whose toothy maw is full of razor-sharp dog teeth. Then, of course, is the sinister Dr. Quint (Angus Scrimm), who keeps demanding more and more bodies from Grimes and Blake and corpulent barkeep Ronnie (Joel Garland), among the many memorable faces! Plus, all of the actors delivered stellar performances. I have to make special mention of Daniel Manche, who played the young Arthur Blake! Hats off to the rest of the excellent cast, including a rather gleeful performance from the “Tall Man” himself, Angus Scrimm!

I really cannot speak highly enough of I Sell the Dead. It is a whimsically macabre film that will delight and entertain all horror fans. So far, I Sell the Dead is one of my favorite films from 2009!

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Night of the Creeps (1986)

There are few alien slug/zombie movies that work well, but the cult classic Night of the Creeps is one of the best, if not THE best at mashing together sci-fi thrills with horror movie spills! It even inspired James Gunn’s under-appreciated film Slither!

With the official release DVD release of Night of the Creeps scheduled for October 20^th, 2009, it was high time to revisit this horror comedy from 1986!

After a brief intro featuring midget aliens chasing a rogue alien as it releases a tube containing some kind of “experiment” into space, the film opens in the black and white ‘50s, looking all Pleasantville-esque. Sweethearts Johnny and Pam, students at Corman University, drive up to The Point for a little necking, but when they see a meteor streak across the sky and crash not too far from where they are parked Johnny decides to investigate. While he’s tramping through the woods, Pam hears a news report on the radio about a psychotic mental patient who has escaped and is going around killing people with an ax. Pretty soon, Pam gets forty whacks (and then some) and Johnny discovers that the “meteor” is the tube those aliens didn’t want released, which holds a gross slug that quickly jumps into Johnny’s gaping mouth.

Cut to the 80’s, where Chris Romero (Jason Lively) and J.C. Hooper (Steve Marshall) are now students at Corman U. They aren’t the most popular guys around, but Chris falls for seemingly unattainable sorority babe Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow). Deciding that the only way to get her attention is by joining a frat, the two friends decide to take part in a hazing prank to gain entry into a fraternity. They must steal a cadaver from one of the college’s labs, but the only body they can find is the cryogenically frozen body of 1950’s Johnny. They release him from his chamber, but soon realize that Johnny isn’t quite as dead as they hoped and they run away, “screaming like banshees.” The undead Johnny, incubating a host of slugs in his brain that infected him in the ‘50s, kills a scientist (David Paymer) and shambles into town until his head explodes…from which a horde of creepy crawlies is unleashed. Meanwhile, Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) is called to investigate the murder of the scientist and several strange murders around town.

Soon enough, Chris discovers that the alien slugs infect victims through their mouths and burrow into their brains to lay eggs. While the eggs incubate, their host is turned into a zombie, searching for more victims to infect with the slugs until said victim’s head explodes, releasing even more parasitic slugs. Can Chris, with the help of Detective Ray, stop the undead menace before it overwhelms the entire town? And will Chris ever get the girl of his dreams? Well, “I’ve got good news and bad news…”

Night of the Creeps is a delightful romp that mixes Revenge of the Nerds-type jock vs. nerd scenes with a ‘50s sci-fi feel and some excellent zombie action to satiate your inner Romero. It’s a perfect silly, goofy movie that also offers up a few good scares and gore scenes. The film was written and directed by Fred Dekker, who brought us the amazing The Monster Club, and of course he pays homage to all his favorite horror flicks here. From the characters’ names (Romero, Hooper, J.C. = John Carpenter, Cronenberg, Cameron, Raimi, Landis, etc., etc.!) to the name of the university to the gratuitous boob shots and ample blood spillage, Night of the Creeps definitely wears its influences on its sleeve!

The two main characters of Chris and J.C., played by Jason Lively and Steve Marshall also give us someone to root for the entire time. The nerdiness and shyness of Chris and the got-nothing-to-lose bombast of crippled J.C. perfectly compliment each other and the two have the perfect best-buddy chemistry, making their performances seem natural and effortless. We really do want to see Chris get the girl and towards the end we want them to succeed against the slugs! Another fantastic character is the unforgettable Detective Ray Cameron, played with unabashed bravado by Tom Atkins! From the memorable delivery of his quote-tastic lines (“Thrill me!”) to his bad ass attitude (“Get the 12 gauge out of my car!”) Detective Ray is one of the most memorable characters ever witnessed in a horror movie.

Besides the awesomeness of its script, characters and corny, yet funny, moments, Night of the Creeps also boasts some great special FX work. I loved the decomposing look of the zombies, especially the near-skeletal corpse of the long-dead ax killer! The super-fast, super-slimy slugs are pretty impressive as well, especially when they jump out unexpectedly. When the heroes figure out that fire kills the slugs there are lots of fun scenes of slugs fried to extra crispiness with a flamethrower! And you just can’t beat a zombie vs. lawnmower scene. While some effects still have a certain campy charm to them, most of them work in creating a fun, inventive horror flick.

Many people haven’t yet had the pleasure to see Night of the Creeps, especially since it has never been released on DVD. Well, hopefully that will change when the film is released by Sony this coming October. Fans will also have the opportunity to see never-before-seen extras and special features on the disc, including deleted scenes, commentary, a special featurette on Tom Atkins called Tom Atkins: Man of Action, a few making-of featurettes and much more, not to mention the original director’s cut, which features a different ending than most versions.

Night of the Creeps is a movie that will take you back to the ’80s style geek-wants-to-get-the-popular-girl comedies while also adding in some super-duper alien slug/zombie action! It’s got corny jokes, likable protagonists, a bad ass Lieutenant, slithering slugs and stumbling zombies galore. Add a flamethrower, a lawnmower and some fire-power and what more could you ask for?!

Check out Night of the Creeps when it arrives on DVD…in the meantime, “Thrill Me!”

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The Substitute (2008)

Hailing from Denmark and distributed stateside by Ghosthouse Underground, The Substitute (aka Vikaren) is surprisingly NOT your typical evil-teacher-terrorizing-students horror film. Instead, it is a refreshingly tense and exciting movie that defied my preconceived notions.

One warning about watching this film, though – make sure you turn off the god-awful English dubbing and instead watch it in its original language with the English subtitles on. The dubbing is horrible and just ruins the film. Consider yourself warned!

The film begins with a narrator telling us that Earth is the only planet that has the complexities of “love,” and an alien race wants to figure out what all the fuss is about and if love is truly the most powerful weapon of all. So, an alien life force travels down to Earth, lands on a poultry farm and takes over a woman’s body to try and figure out what “love” is all about – and hopefully take some specimens of humans back to the home planet to plan Earth’s demise.

Meanwhile, in a nearby town, young Carl (Jonas Wandschneider) is mourning the death of his mother, along with his father Jesper (Ulrich Thomsen) and young sister Sofie (Olivia Stenderup Garre). Carl is a loner in his six grade class, often bullied by the bigger students. When Carl’s class learns that their teacher will be out sick for the next few weeks, they are ecstatic, thinking they can just slack off and take it easy. When their substitute arrives, though, they are in for a nasty surprise. Their substitute, Ulla Harms (Paprika Steen), seems to have the ability to read minds and tells them that she intends to whip them into academic shape…with some very aggressive, mean tactics. The kids sense that something isn’t right about Ulla, and they soon discover the terrifying truth about her.

Can Carl and his classmates convince their parents that Ulla isn’t human before it’s too late?

Ok, I know that the synopsis does no justice to the film, instead making it sound like a Faculty rip-off, but believe me when I say that this Substitute is a much better, very different film! The story, written by Ole Bornedal (who also directed) and Henrik Prip, has the perfect balance of suspense, humor and horror. I really enjoyed the development of the characters, especially Carl. The death of Carl’s mother really adds depth and pathos to the story. That, in turn, is balanced by the humor that comes into play with Carl’s classmates and Ulla’s character. Ulla’s character is both terrifying and amusing, especially when she tortures the kids in such a quick, nonchalant attitude! And I love the kids reactions – “You’re a teacher! You’re not supposed to say that!” There is one scene where the kids break into Ulla’s house and catch her eating a live chicken that is just priceless! The great thing about the scene is that it is both extremely tense and hilarious!

The acting is also a wonderful surprise. Fans of Danish cinema will recognize Paprika Steen and Ulrich Thomsen who play Ulla and Carl’s father Jesper, respectively. They were recently both in the critically acclaimed Fear Me Not and they both shine in this film as well. Steen is terrific as Ulla, whether she is snapping orders at the kids or pulling the wool over the parent’s eyes as to what she really is. She gives a very menacing yet entertaining performance! Jonas Wandschneider as Carl also gave a stellar performance, bringing lots of different emotions to his damaged yet spunky character. And all of the kids in the film were just awesome! Each brought their own distinct personalities to their performances and came across as very natural!

Though this movie hardly spills any blood, I thought the special FX, especially one revealing Ulla’s true tentacled nature, were well done! In addition, a mysterious photograph, a shiny sphere that things crawl out of and some shapeshifting all make for some tense, exciting moments. There is no gore and precious little amounts of blood, but this film just didn’t need those things to make it entertaining. It’s fun and original on its own without needing too much red.

I was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable The Substitute was. It doesn’t seem that in Hollywood they make too many horror films with young kids as the protagonists, so right off the bat the film felt unique. Also, it really was a great mix of horror and humor. I was on the edge of my seat yet laughing my ass off at the same time! Now that’s entertainment, folks! I hear that there are already plans for remaking this film, so get out there and see it NOW! Accept no substitutions for The Substitute!

(Just remember to turn the dubbing OFF!!)

Available from Amazon!

Alien Raiders (2008)

I really, really want to review this movie…but since I couldn’t see most of it I really don’t know how!

Let me explain…apparently Alien Raiders didn’t have enough of a budget for LIGHTING and so everything was in the dark, making it impossible to see what was happening on-screen! Now, I’m all for dark shadows and dark scenes within a film that help ratchet up the suspense, but this was just ridiculous. I couldn’t even see the special effects (which I finally got to see in all their gory glory in the special features) they used and couldn’t quite tell who ate it (or was getting eaten) throughout the film.

The more I think about it, the angrier I get, because if Alien Raiders had used some decent lighting, it would have been an excellent horror film that’s a mix of The Thing, The Mist and Intruder. Unfortunately, the lack of decent lighting is so glaring that it takes away from the film’s finer points.

As a small-town supermarket closes up for the night, the remaining group of clerks and customers suddenly find themselves in the middle of a hostage situation as a group of black-clad, gun-totting intruders start killing people for seemingly no reason. Except that the intruders seem to believe that something alien is in the store…something that is hiding within a human host…something that needs to be destroyed before it is set loose upon the world.

Now, isn’t that a fresh idea for a horror film? Sure, it’s a bit derivative of The Thing, where director Ben Rock got his inspiration from, but it certainly has its own original storyline, written by David Simkins with the screenplay by Julia Fair. It definitely feels a lot fresher and more tightly wound than most mainstream horror movies released today. I also like how the story immediately throws you into a chaotic hostage situation and you don’t know what is going on or who the intruders are or what their purpose is. This intro really grabs you by the throat and gives you a good shake. Then, unfortunately, the action moves to the back of the supermarket, where there is no good lighting and everything gets lost in the dark. The story is still strong as it unfolds, but we just can’t SEE it!

The movie has its nice gory bits, but without proper lighting they are pretty much lost on the audience. Even the “king” makeup, which is impressive when we see it in full light in the special features, is lost in the darkness of the film. There are so many great lighting techniques that could have been used, especially utilizing the eerie glow of freezer and produce lights, but they are merely used to create atmosphere instead us being used to light the action.  As it stands, most of the gore effects are indiscernible from the shadows, which really is a pity after you see what a great job was done with the effects in the special features.

I can’t stress enough that had the lighting been decent, this film could have been one of the better films of the year! Everything else – acting, directing, etc. – is excellent. Though there aren’t really any recognizable faces in the cast,  every one of the actors did an excellent job. The direction by Rock is also pretty solid, though the use of shaky-cam is a bit overdone, especially when combined with the darkness of most of the shots.

While the film has an atrocious title (and dorky cover) that makes it sound (and look) like another crappy Sci-Fi Channel movie (they definitely should have stuck with their original title of Supermarket!), I was surprised at its engaging and tense storyline. Nevertheless, it was disappointing to see such a promising film be ruined by bad lighting.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Dragging Wings by Jennifer Caress

Jennifer Caress’ new novel, Dragging Wings, is a hypnotizing blend of dark fantasy, sci-fi and horror that is near impossible to put down once you start reading. The novel’s main strength is its fantastical characters, who are all wonderfully unique and who the reader comes to care so much about. Not only that, but Caress’ story is surrounded with an air of mystery that adds to the ethereal quality of the book.

Dragging Wings features several different stories, though each are anchored by an over-arching storyline about alien conspiracies and the secret society that seeks to stop them as well as two characters named Sammy and Frankie. In each story Caress does an amazing job at making us care for each new character in a short amount of time, even if a character only appears for a chapter. Besides the memorable duo of Sammy and Frankie, there’s the wounded and confused Dandi whose past just keeps haunting her, the stern and lonely Thomas Manner who opens the book with a bang, the intriguing Iliad Strange with all his tricks, the brave Bodhan who embarks on a journey of self-discovery and so many, many more! Each new character is a delightful discovery and you wish that they were actually real so that you could befriend them.

Each story offers something new, but every one goes back to the principles of sharing, caring and love. Without those things, as you will see in the book, people tend to fall apart. Some stories skew on the more surreal, while others contain a slowly creeping dread and still others feature a more sci-fi feel, but all seem to end in the conclusion that individuality must be celebrated and people should love on another no matter their differences. Don’t be fooled, though…this book is far from being a touchy-feely love fest. There are some sinister things that happen here and many people lose themselves to the darkness rather than finding love in the light. Dandi must (literally) fight the demons haunting her, Bodhan loses his sister and his journey is fraught with peril and people who are trying to kill him and Sammy and Frankie try to come to understand what is happening around them.

The atmosphere of the story is very mysterious. We are never told much about the secret society and the alien conspirators it is trying to battle. One thing is clear, though, that if you join the fight for either side it will open your eyes and change your life. The main setting of the quaint town of Arcacia also lends to the air of mystery and fantasy…though in appearances the town seems like any regular ol’ place. The unique characters and strange stories make it feel otherworldly, though.

Dragging Wings is an entirely unique book that will appeal to the freaks ‘n’ geeks that are different but stand by who they are. It spellbindingly blends horror, dark fantasy and sci-fi into an irresistible mixture of ethereal fiction. I hear Jennifer Caress has a previous novel, called Perverted Realities, that features the characters of Sammy and Frankie and if Dragging Wings is any indication, it should be just as enjoyable!

Dragging Wings is available on Amazon.

Closet Space (2008)

A group of researchers has found an inter-dimensional portal whose entrance just happens to be in a closet…in a house…in the middle of the Texas countryside! When the researchers, including revered Professor Polanco (Tim Wrobel) don’t return, a group of grad students arrive to investigate what happened to their friends and colleagues.

This group isn’t an inexperienced bunch of sissies like most college students in horror flicks, though. They are not only intelligent, but they’ve also traveled the world exploring isolated, dangerous and undiscovered places. So when leader Jack (James LaMarr) tells them they’ll be entering the long and dark tunnel that leads into the closet, everyone is well prepared.

No matter how many gadgets, flashlights, handy firearms and rope they may have, the group could never have prepared for the Lovecraftian monsters they find within the Closet Space. Creatures that will stop at nothing to infiltrate our world to slowly take it over…

Despite some low-budget challenges, Closet Space is an intelligent, fun and engrossing horror film from director Mel House and writer Jason Stewart. I really enjoyed how this was an atypical horror film. Instead of a boring, derivative plot, Closet Space tries for something new, fresh and intelligent. The story is such a good mix of Lovecraft, sci-fi and horror that fans from all three genres will enjoy the film.

The acting is excellent, especially given that this is a low-budget film. Besides James LaMarr who plays the leader Jack, Melanie Donihoo, Jovan Jackson, Morgan McCarthy, Evan Scott and Peyton Wetzel are excellent as the thrill-seeking grad students. None of there characters are stereotypical horror fodder, but strong, intelligent and independent-thinking. Tim Wrobel as Professor Polanco must also be mentioned for his great (and slimy!) performance as well!

With an original story, a great cast and wonderful characterization, what could go wrong with Closet Space? Well, low-budget limitations are a problem in this film. There are several instances where the picture becomes fuzzy, blurry and out of focus. The lighting is inconsistent and doesn’t match up within scenes. On the plus side, the special FX are handled by Oddtopsy FX and look awesome! There are some very bloody scenes, including a horrifyingly funny vagina dentata scene and numerous slimy tentacles.

Even through some low-budget obstacles, Closet Space still shines. Director Mel House gives us a very claustrophobic feeling as the grad students find their way through the cave-like terrain of the closet space and wisely keeps most of the tentacled creatures in the dark until the finale. He keeps the tension taut with a few good scares thrown in before the creatures begin to attack and everything really does go to hell!

Closet Space is a very original film that’s different from the usual brainless horror film. It gives us smart and believable characters, a perfectly blended Lovecraftian/sci-fi/horror tale and is filled with tension and more than a few scares. Look past its production flaws and you’ll enjoy this unique indie film!

Closet Space – Official Site

Book Review: John Dies at the End by David Wong

John Dies at the End is a hilariously frightening and frighteningly hilarious genre-bending book by author David Wong. It is a blend of comedy, horror and sci-fi that manages to mix alternate realities, creepy monsters and dick and fart jokes seamlessly!

There is so much going on in the book that I hardly know where to start with the synopsis. Basically, David and John are just two slackers until they become entangled in this weird, otherworldly drug called Soy Sauce. Most people who take it end up dead, but the side effects for John and David are much stranger. They start seeing things other people can’t see and get glimpses of other worlds. They find they have a special talent for solving “weird” cases like hauntings, monsters and other paranormal activity. David and John then realize that the strange things that have been happening to them (not just battling monsters and such, but loss of time and changes in reality) are all connected to someone (or something) named Korrok. They must figure out a way to stop this thing called Korrok before the floodgates to Hell are opened right under their little town. Throw in a meat monster, a giant, floating sea creature, lots of glowing eyes, a dog who can drive and a girl with a missing hand and you’ve got a vague idea of John Dies at the End.

This book was absolutely wild! From the moment I began reading I could not put the book down! (No, seriously, I think it was like stuck to my hand or something…) Wong tells his crazy story in first person narrative through David’s perspective. David has been contacted by a reporter named Arnie who wants to do a feature on him and John in regards to their paranormal investigations. So David relays his entire strange story, from beginning to end, to the reporter. The resulting narrative kept my interest throughout the entire novel and there wasn’t a second where I wasn’t entertained.

The tone of the book is very lighthearted and comedic, though some truly horrific events occur. David and John take these events in stride, even casually, which just makes the story even more amusing. Despite all the jokiness, there is some seriously disturbing and scary stuff lurking within John Dies at the End. Images of strange beasts and monstrous entities will probably haunt your nightmares after reading this book.

It’s also true what I said about so much going on in the book…it is packed to its slimy and otherworldly gills with a levitating, drug-dealing Jamaican, a Morgan Freeman-lookalike detective, a Mall of the Dead, a man made of roaches, crashing a Las Vegas séance, exploding body parts, Shadow People, other dimensions, portals to Hell, time travel, J.-Lo, a very odd dog and many, many hideous monsters. In other words, if you’re looking for something random, say, like a gigantic gorilla-arachnid hybrid, this book probably has it.

John Dies at the End is an action-packed and horror-filled book that spews hilarious and inappropriate humor at every turn.  The book could be compared to an acid trip, without having to actually suffer the side effects (ok, I lied; you’ll probably suffer nightmares). Besides wrapping humor and horror up together with a nice bow, John Dies at the End is a mind-bending and mind-enhancing book. Like the Soy Sauce, it’ll open up your eyes to a whole new world.

Available from Amazon!

Illegal Aliens (2007)

Why is that that when celebrities die, their Hollywood stock value goes through the roof and anyone who’s ever worked with them or known them tries to cash in posthumously? Had it not been for Anna Nicole Smith’s death recently, Illegal Aliens would have arrived at your $1.99 DVD bargain bin at Wal-Mart without fanfare, but instead it must now flood the shelves of your local DVD store.


Three aliens (Anna Nicole Smith, Lenise Soren, Gladys Jimenez) are sent to protect the world from whatever forces threaten to destroy it and take the forms of three hot babes. When not saving the world, they work as stunt coordinators in Hollywood. Everything seems fine and dandy, until fellow alien Rex lands on earth, takes over a woman’s buff bod (you remember wrestler Chyna?! She’s now Joanie Laurer) and begins building a mega-gravitron to crash the moon into the earth and snuff out all life as we know it. It’s up to the scantily clad “hot babes” to save the world from sure destruction.

It’s not hard to tell that this movie doesn’t take itself seriously and was meant to be a funny, bad B-movie. The bad news is that there isn’t anything funny about this movie! It is all bad, and not in the so-bad-it’s-good sense! As the movie limped on and I was forced to sit through increasingly horrible performances, bad jokes and horrible hokey dialogue, I thought I’d traveled to one of the worse circles of Hell. Yes, it was that painful.

Not only that, but I found some actions of the female characters and other characters’ reactions to female characters downright insulting. First of all, the whole storyline is a sci-fi nerd’s dream come true: three aliens take the forms of three hot women, save the world, have a “girl fight,” and make out with the nerdy scientific guy. Secondly, for “advanced” and “intelligent” life forms, the girls sure aren’t that bright – Smith plays her blonde-haired bimbo like a retarded 2-year old. Now, a full-grown woman acting like a baby (literally talking in a little girl’s voice, wearing little girl clothes and reasoning like a little girl) and playing it off like it’s “cute” or “hot” is insulting to me as a woman. What insults me most is that this is insinuating that men want a dumb, airheaded and obedient woman. The other two aliens aren’t as bad as Smith’s character (who was basically just playing herself anyway), especially the one who is in charge (played by Lenise Soren). Still, when the one in charge starts crushing on the cute scientist they rescue, she gets all googly-eyed and neglects her duties.

I cannot count how many other scenes irked me, but they sure are plentiful! The acting alone is annoying, from the previously mentioned performance by Smith to Laurer (aka Chyna) playing the screwball and painfully over-the-top evil alien Rex. Her facial contortions and frequent pitch changes in voice were freaky enough, but the dialogue she spewed out made me want to jab sharpened pencils in my ears.

The action sequences, on the other hand, were pretty well done…though most of them were intercut with stock footage. One sequence toward the end that was actually funny was an action sequence that used the most random of stock footage – people jumping out of buildings, cars burning, nuclear testing footage, etc. – for a huge explosion scene. Another action scene I actually enjoyed was when the girls are nearly attacked by a giant horde of spiders commanded by Rex. That definitely harkened back to 1950’s drive-in horror that featured giant bugs and monsters attacking the populace.

Though Illegal Aliens keeps its tongue firmly in cheek, this didn't make it any good or even funny. It lacks the charm of old B-movies, overuses fart jokes and kinda makes me wish Anna Nicole Smith was still alive so she could be properly chastised for her awful performance. To sum it up, if Charlie’s Angels met Plan 9 From Outer Space and had a deformed, ugly baby, that baby would be Illegal Aliens. Look for it at your local $1.99 bargain bin!

Available from Amazon!

LovecraCked! The Movie (2006)

LovecraCked! The Movie is an anthology of short films inspired by the stories of H.P. Lovecraft that are bound together by a running gag of an investigative reporter (Elias) trying to find out more information on the famous writer. The movie is a comedy/horror and the results are a mixed bag. The investigative reporter bits and some of the shorts play like Troma-esque movies (Lloyd Kaufman is featured as an interviewee in one of the reporter segments) and get old fast, while some of the shorts have a much more creepy and satisfying tone.

- “The Statement of Randolph Carter,” directed by Jane Rose. It had a definite old school, ‘50s feel to it, but still came off as campy to me. I didn’t care for it that much, but it was still a good opener to stories inspired by Lovecraft.

- “The History of the Lurkers” (directed by Justin Powers) in which a punk rocker has the ability to summon evil and so he does...The problem being that the lurkers he summons turn out to be trench coat-wearing, porn shop-frequenting pervs. While the story was pretty original, it got old quick and dragged on too long.

- “Remain” directed by Ashley Thorp, was probably the strongest film in the bunch. Filmed with a stop-motion technique, it presents a man who paints a picture that comes to life. Definitely creepy with an excellent mood; I’d like to see more what this director can accomplish.

- The forth short was entitled “Bugboy” and was directed by Tomas Almgren. It tells the tale of a jilted lover transforming (literally, in a giant cocoon) into something more sinister. Shot in black and white, this film looked absolutely amazing and was both creepy and icky in a sticky sort of way.

- “Witches Spring” directed by Brian Barnes, was predictable and stale. A guy hooks up with a woman via the Internet, figuring he will just have some fun, but it turns out she’s a witch and is planning on using him in a ritual to retain her youth.

-The sixth short was directed by Simon Ruben and was called “Alecto”. This was another superb short that tells the tale of a man tormented by a song played on the violin. The film itself was haunting and eerie as it slowly unfolded.

- “Chaos of the Flesh” was another excellent entry. It was directed by Grady Granros and shot in black and white. A man is in the forest when he sees another man carrying an unconscious girl over his shoulder. He follows the pair to a tree stump and sees that the man is intent on cutting off the girl’s head. The two scuffle and finally the girl is saved…but she is no girl! She’s actually a demon…

- Next, we get a porno thrown into the mix, which was quite odd. It was the infamous (softcore version) of “Re-Penetrator” directed by Doug Sakmann. Dr. Hubert Breast reanimates his love interest and they proceed to have zombie sex…complete with lots of blood and internal organs, of course.

- The ninth and final short was an animated music video called “And This Was on a Good Day” directed by Brian A. Bernhard, which was probably the least entertaining.

Between each short the investigative reporter would come back for a silly segment. Sure, this was sometimes amusing, but the gig got old fast and less funny each time around. The humor was akin to Troma with a twinge of Monty Python thrown in.

My final verdict? Some of the shorts were quite excellent, but the failed reporter segue and some of the lesser shorts ruin it. If you are interested in checking out some short horror movies, by all means pick it up…but don’t say I didn’t warn you about the many duds throughout this anthology.

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Altered (2006)

I had anticipated seeing Altered ever since I heard that Eduardo Sanchez, one of the directors of The Blair Witch Project, was directing. I was one of the people who actually enjoyed The Blair Witch Project and I was excited to see what Sanchez would do next. He doesn't disappoint with Altered, a sci-fi/horror flick that kept me on the edge of my seat for its entire duration.

Three friends catch an alien in the woods with its mothership in hot pursuit, and take it to their friend Wyatt's house. Many years ago, when the men were just boys, the aliens abducted them, experimented on them and ended up killing their friend Timmy. Duke, Cody and Otis are out for revenge, but Wyatt warns that the end of the human race will ensue if they kill their hostage. Once the alien gets loose, the real terror and bloodshed begins...

This film begins with a bang, with Duke, Cody and Otis out in the woods hunting the alien and doesn't let up from there. I usually don't dig alien movies, but this one was quite enjoyable with its fast pace, well-developed characters and plentiful terrifying situations.

First off, the characters development is excellent and is achieved by showing the drama and tension within the group. Instead of telling us, this film really shows us who these guys are and gives us a reason to care about them. The only character I felt was unnecessary was Wyatt's wife. I felt like they just threw her in there just so they could have a chick in the movie.

The actors all do a fine job of portraying their respective characters. They were all well-portrayed and never for a second did I have to suspend belief. They talked, acted and had flaws like normal people. Again, the drama within the group as to what to do with the alien really helped achieve the high level of tension prevalent throughout the movie.

The story itself was very well-written, with loads of tension that kept me on the edge of my seat. There aren't any annoying, tacked on "twists" at the end, but there are some surprising moments, especially as to what the alien is capable of - who knew if an alien bit you that your skin would start to rot away in a matter of hours?!

Speaking of rotting skin and other such delicacies, there is some very cool and gross scenes throughout the movie, many of them involving spilled guts (including alien guts!). We also get a man nailed up to the wall, a throat ripped out, gooey alien blood, a gunshot wound and lottsa man-to-alien hand-to-hand combat. The alien itself is a vicious lil' sucker with a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth and long, wicked claws. For a change, it looks like they used a man in a suit and models instead of CGI bullshit. While some people might be put off by the "man-in-the-suit" phenomenon, I found it refreshing, much like Bigfoot in Abominable. I thought the alien looked realistic and pretty cool!

If you are looking for a tension-filled alien flick featuring superb acting, great gore and a fast-paced story, I recommend Altered!

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Invaders from Mars (1953)

Invaders From Mars, called "the definitive Cold War sci-fi film" by some, was released in 1953 and boasts many many montages of the U.S. Army preparing for war. Trucks, tanks, marching soldiers, rockets - all are on display many times over throughout the movie. Those reels probably make up 20 minutes of the movie alone! Besides the annoying montages and 50s cheese, this film can be somewhat fun (having a few drink beforehand is recommended).

The plot: A young boy, who has a very caring father and mother (sleeping in separate beds - ah the 50s, tee hee!), sees a flying saucer crash into the sand dunes near his house. When his father goes to investigate, he returns to the house a changed man. He's not so caring anymore as he barks orders at his son, David, and slaps him around a little. David is concerned, especially when he sees a strange mark on the back of his father's neck. Soon, his mother is also changed as is anyone who ventures near the sand dunes. They all return with marks on their neck and in a zombie-like zen state. David tries his best to alert the authorities to the danger of an alien invasion, but it may be too late as many higher-ups have already been infected! Can David warn anyone before it's too late?

I didn't have a few drinks before watching this, but I wish I had. It was an ok film, with some endearing qualities, but overall it was boring. I enjoyed the story, but there were just too many montages of the military. Geesh!! Of course the theme of the film was to be diligent and to not let the enemy (aliens = communists) infiltrate the United States. (They could be your next door neighbors! Your police chief! Your parents!) Of course this has some bearing today, as everyone is so concerned with terrorists, but I really don't care. This movie also sent the message that the U.S. military will emerge victorious and will not be defeated! Both of these messages were a bit overbearing and ridiculous.

Perhaps if one is having a 50s-themed party this could be shown for a bit of nostalgic fun, but remember to have alcohol on hand to relieve the dullness of this movie.

On Amazon!

They (2002)

Instructions: Watch on a dark and rainy night, preferably alone. Leave all the lights off and leave your closet door slightly ajar. Try not to jump at shadows and try to fight the urge to shut your closet door - these two things will be challenging to do after watching They!

They is a movie that preys on the childhood fear of the dark. Childhood friend Billy commits suicide in front of psych major Julia after rambling about his fear of the dark and she sets out to discover what is lurking in the shadows. Strange blackouts occur throughout the city, and Julia's childhood night terrors return. Billy had these as well, as did his two roommates. They are in the shadows, causing the blackouts, preying on Julia and others with night terrors. To others, though, Julia appears to be going crazy, perhaps due to the stresses of school. Will anyone believe her? Is she really going crazy? What do They want?

Well, you never find out what they want - sure, they drag you away, but are they going to eat you? Did they just want to scare you? WTF? I suppose that if one follows the alternate ending, it makes this point moot, but that isn't the ending the filmmakers decided to go with, now is it? So the audience is left to wonder, why? I also didn't like the design of the creatures and the fact that they showed them too much. I believe it would have been more effective to keep them shrouded in darkness and mystery, where the audience is never sure what they look like. This would have achieved many more scares, perhaps giving the audience some night terrors of their own.

I did like the premise of the story. Who wasn't scared of the dark as a kid? Who hasn't believed there was something lurking in their closet? The absolute horror of the unknown is a very real fear for most people. I did appreciate that this movie employed flickering lights to a whole new level. I am still frightened a bit when the lights go out, especially during a big storm. I recommend it, but I wish they would have either used the alternate ending or explained the creatures' motives.

I watched this movie with my ex boyfriend, who hates any kind of horror movie, and he jumped many a time while watching it. I know I'm a little jaded when it comes to horror - I usually know what to expect and when to expect it - so it was nice to see someone pretty fresh to the horror genre react so strongly to They.

Again, I suggest watching it on a stormy and lonely night for maximum spook-value.

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Undead (2003)

Undead is an Australian movie that focused more on the alien side of the zombie outbreak. The plot was a bit convoluted, but I thought the ending was pretty good. It started out pretty funny, but took itself too seriously after that. There were too many abductions and not enough zombie action. There were definitely no scares...boo!

I just wasn't digging this one...too much alien crap goin on! However, if you are looking for something unique that blends zombies and aliens, you may just want to check this out.

Find it on Amazon!

Originally posted on Fatally-Yours.com.

Wild Zero (2000)

Wild Zero is a Japanese movie that mixes rock 'n' roll (Japanese punk band Guitar Wolf features prominently in the film), an alien invasion resulting in flesh-eating zombies, a crazy short-shorts wearing club manager, and the theme that love (and rock 'n' roll) conquers all. This movie was B-grade GREAT!! It was silly, comedic, featured a great punk soundtrack and had zombies! Guitar Wolf was great and really hammed it up...I think I may just have to buy this now.

Plus, the Japanese rock 'n' rollers don't look half bad...and the drinking game in the special features is out of control!!

Buy it on Amazon!

Originally posted on Fatally-Yours.com January 20th, 2006.