Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Despite being sick on The Cabin in the Woods’ opening night, I still bundled up and trooped out to the theater because there was no way I was missing catching this flick on Friday the 13th! It has been one of my most anticipated movies of 2012 as 1.) I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon and 2.) it actually looked like it would do something fresh and different with the horror genre.

There has been a lot of hype and build-up surrounding this film, and just today I saw tons of Twitter and Facebook updates proclaiming how "______" Cabin in the Woods was. I hate when flicks get spoiled by too much hype, so I tried to put myself on a social media lockdown for the day to avoid any spoilage.

I avoided any spoilers, made it to the theater and decided for myself just how "______" Cabin in the Woods was...

In the film, five college kids head to a remote cabin for some weekend relaxation, but soon find that things aren’t exactly what they appear. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

The best way to see this movie is with little or zero knowledge of it, so I'll keep this review short and to the point (and spoiler-free). The film is pretty much a horror fan's wet dream, as it cleverly plays with expectations, toys with horror clichés, tips its hat to many horror films AND adds something quite different and unexpected to the horror movie formula.

I laughed, I jumped, I rooted for both sides and completely reveled in the sharp writing by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (who directed as well). The Cabin in the Woods is one heck of an entertaining time from start to finish and left me with a big goofy grin on my face hours after I watched it. That's pretty much all you need to know, besides the fact that it has many different facets to its seemingly simple story.

If you’re a horror fan that enjoys smart, original and witty horror films, then I highly encourage you to check it out ASAP! It was totally worth avoiding the hoopla on Facebook and Twitter all day and sucking up a fever/sore throat to watch it opening weekend. Believe me, this is one film that actually lives up to the buzz surrounding it and is definitely one you don't want to miss!

Team Mer-Man! (You'll understand when you see the flick...now go see it!!)

The Boogeyman (2010)

The Boogeyman is an Irish short film adaptation of Stephen King’s tale. Directed by Gerard Lough, the film opens with bereaved father Andrew (Simon Fogarty) explaining his story to a psychiatrist and saying how he is responsible for his three children’s deaths at the hands of “the boogeyman”. As Andrew recounts his tale, we see what unfolded through flashbacks.

To be honest, I haven’t read King’s story, so I can’t account for how faithful Lough’s adaptation is. Unfortunately, I found this to be a fairly dull short that lacks action, likable characters and tension.

The first problem was with the character of Andrew. Though King’s characters are usually rough around the edges, they are ultimately likable in that “everyman” way. However, Andrew comes off as inherently unlikable, complaining about his wife and expressing how he never really wanted kids. This is quite a shaky way to start a story, especially since it takes a while for Andrew to (sort-of) redeem himself. By the time he actually does express some love for his family, it was already too late and I was already anti-Andrew and couldn’t care less what happened to him.

I also thought it odd he wasn’t suspected more by the police in his children’s deaths. Perhaps if more people suspected him it would have upped the ante and made him a more sympathetic character, but by his own admission he is only telling the story to the psychiatrist to get it off his chest. I think the intention of the filmmaker was to create tension in the viewer, making them wonder if Andrew had really killed his children instead of the boogeyman. However, this intention fell flat and I really never felt the tension or urgency to find out who the true murderer was.

The story unfolded at a languid pace as well, and I just didn’t feel any sort of suspense while watching it. It would have helped if more had been shown of the flashbacks, but instead the story focused more on showing Andrew talking to the psychiatrist. I did read that the production had issues finding child actors for the roles due to the subject matter, but I think the story could have been shot around those problems.

As for the direction, it was okay…nothing too special except for a lot of blue and grey muted colors on display. The direction and editing were fairly plain, and since the story was a bit slow it could have used a little more punch.

Another problem was the silly boogeyman costume design, which was anything but scary. Instead, it just looked like a dude wearing a cheap, plastic Halloween mask. I wish the boogeyman character had been shown less, because a shadow on a wall or eyes peering from a closet would have been much more effective and creepy rather than seeing that ridiculous costume.

The Boogeyman is a slow-paced short that unfortunately couldn’t keep my attention. It lacks tension, likable characters and any sort of scares.

Hallow's End (2003)

Here is another Halloween-themed film plumbed from the depths of Netflix that I decided to give a looksie. You see, I’m on a quest to watch as many Halloween-related horror flicks as possible, no matter how crappy they may be! After having to sit through titles like Mr. Halloween, I wasn’t expecting much with Hallow’s End. In some respects, it was as awful as I expected, but I was surprised that there were instances where I actually enjoyed the film.

Do you remember the Halloween episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Simpsons where the characters become whatever costume they are dressed up as on Halloween night? Hallow’s End is like that, only it is set in a haunted attraction with a higher ratio of terrifying creatures like vampires, zombies and monsters!

Ok, I really have to say I dug the haunted attraction (appropriately called “Hallow’s End”) where the film was set. It was a bare bones haunt (well, what do you expect when frat boys execute it?), but the atmosphere was still Halloween-y. There were lots of great shots of the haunt, the actors of the haunt and patrons in costume and so on, all of which I enjoyed.

However, the film took forever to get going. The first half shows the frat brothers and their girlfriends setting up the haunt (and in the process finding a mysterious spell book that sets everything in motion), but there is too much annoying fighting between the two main male leads. The horrible acting doesn’t really help either. Instead of focusing on the stupid squabbles between characters, I wish the film spent more time on the backstory of the location (the opening scenes show a bunch of Satanists performing a ritual, but the film doesn’t really expand on this confusing intro) and the spell book. There is also a character named Pumpkin Jack that has a large part in the story, but appears on-screen for less than 10 minutes. I found myself wondering more about him than any of the other characters. As for the two main male leads (the good guy vs. the bad guy), they were both unlikable. The “good” guy is wimpy and never defends himself or those around him while the “bad” guy is just a stereotypical asshole and one-dimensional. The fact that both of them have girlfriends in the film is pretty unbelievable.

The real action doesn’t kick in until the last 20 or so minutes of the movie as people start turning into their costumes. We get vampires, zombies, serial killers, etc. and there are some pretty fun scenes here. Nothing too gory or shocking (this is low-budget, after all), but nonetheless entertaining! It doesn’t quite make up for the slow pacing of the beginning of the movie, but at least its interesting and the concept, though half-assed and not developed enough, is pretty original and not your typical slasher.

If you are a Halloween nut, you’ll appreciate the spook house location of Hallow’s End. It’s a low-budget film, but it actually looks quite well-done, especially the sets in the haunt. However, it has some glaring issues, mainly the pacing, acting and storyline. If you are looking for a Halloween-themed movie to watch and have exhausted all the regular Halloween flicks, Hallow’s End might be worth a look, at least for a rental. It certainly isn’t the worst, but it’s far from the best.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Sick Things - An Anthology of Extreme Creature Horror

As a follow-up to their Vile Things: Extreme Deviations of Horror anthology, Comet Press has released Sick Things: An Anthology of Extreme Creature Horror, edited by Cheryl Mullenax. Does it live up to its “extreme” tag and the high-quality of Comet’s past releases? Read on to find out!

From the back cover:

Over-endowed aliens invade earth with one purpose: to mate with human females. A filmmaker documents a devil-worshipping blood cult – and becomes the main subject. A farmer with an unnatural affection for his livestock gets a special gift when his wife is bitten by a werewolf. An employee finds his new boss sexy and attractive – and so do the flys. Pissed off, flesh-eating cows take over a dairy farm. A musician returns from the dead to avenge his wife’s murder, with the help of a mysterious black possum. The Allies find a secret weapon, a monstrous blob with an insatiable appetite for dead human flesh. A chef creates his ultimate dish: an anatomically correct golem made out of leftovers. A mythical demon preys on unsuspecting college girls. And many more…

Wow, Sick Things is definitely one deviant, extreme collection of stories! I made the mistake of reading this during my lunch break and it was definitely a challenge to keep my food down! If you can think of the most vile, disgusting thing imaginable, it’s probably in one of the tales of this collection.

While all of the stories are effective, one stood out as my personal favorite. The Hansel and Gretel-themed Evil, Bent and Candy-Sweet by Tim Curran is a grotesquely beautiful short story with imagery so strong you can almost smell it. I loved the author’s descriptions (“The sky had been slit open, oozing tangles of red blood and seams of yellow fat at the horizon.”) as well as his characters, including Brother, Sister and of course the evil witch. There is just something so malignantly magnificent about this story, weaving its dark, twisted perspective into the fairy tale imagery. The collection is worth buying just for this story alone!

Other favorites of mine included Heat by Daniel I. Russell, about a farmer who is into bestiality that gets more than he bargained for when his wife turns into a werewolf, Jimmy Sticks and the Outlaw Critter of Doom by Michael Boatman, about a murdered man that comes back as a zombie to extract revenge on his and his wife’s killers, and The Special Son by Jeffrey Hale, about a special needs boy who discovers just why he is so special when his semen mixes with spider eggs to produce a whole new ghastly creature.

While the four stories above were my personal favorites, all of the seventeen stories in Sick Things are worth checking out. All of them have a high gross-out factor and gorehounds will be delighted by the visceral scenes contained in each tale.

If you are an extreme fan of horror looking for the ultimate in disgusting, vile and disturbing fiction, Sick Things: An Anthology of Extreme Creature Horror is a must-read…just make sure you have your barf bag handy!

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Let Me Die a Woman by Alan Kelly

Blending ‘50s pulp novel sensibilities with modern potty-mouthed wit and characters pulled from a John Waters film with a cybergoth twist, Let Me Die A Woman is a kick ass debut from Irish author Alan Kelly!

The novel opens with a rather innocuous scarecrow festival in a small town…or so it seems. Before long, the scarecrows set their button eyes on the inhabitants of the small town and massacre everyone in sight. The scarecrows, who are actually beings from another plane, have much more far-reaching plans than slaughtering a whole town, though…

Years later, horror journalist extraordinaire Bunny Flask is fired by the sleazy owner of her beloved Blood Rag Magazine and replaced by rival Alice Fiend. Seething with resentment and seeking revenge, Bunny decides to confront Alice but uncovers a horrific plot to destroy the human race in the process.

Let me Die A Woman is pulp fiction paradise! It is a gritty and gory tale of femme fatales, hellacious heroines, malevolent males and apocalyptic action that really rocked my socks off! It may be a short 109 pages, but every single one of those pages packs a wallop. It is extremely fast-paced, and once I picked it up I read the whole thing in one sitting because I didn’t want to put it down.

Given the skill of writing, it’s hard to imagine LMDAW is author Alan Kelly’s debut novel. His voice is one of a seasoned storyteller and he unfolds the violent and heated plot in such a way that holds you enraptured the entire length of the book. Kelly describes everything so vividly that the novel comes to life in your head and it feels like you are reading/watching an exploitation-style ‘50s B-movie, complete with monsters, aliens, gender-bending characters, chainsaws, strong women, outrageous dialogue and plenty of violence! In homage to exploitation/horror films of the past, Kelly even names several chapters after recognizable films, including Sorry, Wrong Number, Shivers, Female Trouble, Razor Blade Smile and Bad Girls Go to Hell, among others!

The characters are all a lively bunch, their colorful personalities taking cues from real-life horror queens like The Chainsaw Mafia founder Shannon Lark (an obvious inspiration for the chainsaw-wielding BFF of Bunny Flask) and Rue Morgue’s former editor, Jovanka Vuckovic (Alice Fiend’s vivid red hair being a reference to her). Kelly writes them all whip-smart, independent and hell-on-wheels.

Let Me Die A Woman is a no-holds-barred and over-the-top love letter to cult films in all their kitschy glory. With inspirations from grindhouse, exploitation, sci-fi and horror genres Kelly’s debut has a manic energy and originality that seems unrivaled within current genre offerings and comes highly recommended from yours truly.

Visit Pulp Press’ Official Site!

Book Review: Lucas Manson by Thomas Hauck

“When Special Agent Mark Dylan investigates a gruesome homicide, he uncovers the terrifying world of the Kingdom Seven Family Temple and its leader, the charismatic and ruthless Minister Lucas Manson. As Dylan and his partner Jill Kelly penetrate the secret inner sanctum of the temple, they learn that friends cannot be distinguished from enemies. The vast and powerful temple holds dark secrets that will change their lives forever.”

Lucas Manson first starts as a typical crazy cult/serial killer/police procedural novel – still interesting and well-written, but nonetheless a little bland. However, as the book progressed it thankfully added some unexpected twists and turns that took the story in an entirely surprising direction. I don’t want to give anything away, but let’s just say that the book reinvents a classic monster archetype in an entirely new way!

Besides the unexpected surprises the book holds, Lucas Manson is thrilling and action-packed. It encompasses many locations, from Boston to Egypt to Arizona to New York, keeping the action moving at a quick clip. From unraveling an ancient mystery in Egypt to tracking the rock star-like U.S. tour of the Kingdom Seven Family Temple to breaking into the cult’s heavily guarded compound in Arizon, Special Agent Mark Dylan careens through an action-packed landscape of grisly murders and centuries-old mysticism.

The murders aren’t especially gory, but fit quite well into the overall tone of the book. Despite not being gory, they pack quite a punch, as victims are drugged in a very unique way and then bled through several incisions in their arteries until their bodies are drained of blood. And it just gets creepier after you learn why the victims are being drained of blood!

However, the book does have its flaws. It gets off to a rocky start, including an awkward introduction of lead character Mark Dylan when he’s working undercover that has no bearing on the rest of the book. It then jumps directly into Dylan and his wife’s problems with getting pregnant, a character development ploy that doesn’t really go anywhere and drags on far too long. It doesn’t really have any impact on the rest story, and it didn’t help me feel more for the lead character either.

Despite these bumps in the road, once the novel takes off it really takes you for a ride! It may start off as a typical killer cult book, but it has plenty of twists and turns that elevate it far beyond any “standard” horror fare.

Check it out on Amazon!

Book Review: The Canal by Daniel Morris

In The Canal by Daniel Morris, a deadly monster lurks beneath the waste and stink of a city’s sewage canal, leaving behind the skinned remains of its victims. Detective Joe Lombardi has a certain affinity for solving canal crimes, so he’s put on the case. His tragic past has afforded him a familiar relationship with the canal, much to the chagrin of his square partner, Alan. Alan loathes Joe and the sloppy way he dresses and conducts himself. Alan hopes to solve this case for himself so he can get rid of Joe once and for all.

Yet, as they investigate the case they realize the true sinister nature of the murderer and that it just might not be human. The case begins to eat away at both Joe and Alan as more details surface about the murders and they must act quickly before the canal takes any more victims.

The Canal is a definite page-turner, dripping with atmosphere and oozing suspense. Author Daniel Morris gruesomely describes the polluted world of the canal and the gritty city it runs through. You can almost taste the brackish water of the canal and smell its pungent sewage stench through the pages. Several scenes (including several where different characters take the plunge into the diseased waters) had me dry-heaving because like the character of Alan I’m a bit of a neat freak and germaphobe. So reading about people taking a dive into the crusty, sludgy and heavily polluted water that’s not just swimming with nasty diseases but a flesh-eating monster had my toes curling and me squirming in my seat!

I also love how we are just given quick glimpses of the mutated monstrosity of the creature that don’t give away too much. Bit by bit we see more and more, until at the end when you see just how terrifying the monster really is. I think that by holding back the author made the final reveal all the more terrifying!

The author also did a fine job developing each of the characters. I was both intrigued and disgusted by Joe and while I though Alan was initially a prick, I warmed up to him. All of the other characters, from the homeless Rose to the uptight and immaculate “downtown” detective brought in to run the case to the mysterious Paul who treats the monster like a pet and so on, were just as interesting and really helped propel the story along, adding plenty of layers and nooks and crannies to explore.

I also thought the subtle environmental message of being careful what we throw away and being aware of where our waste goes was appropriate and timely. You can either embrace the message or disregard it, but it is definitely there for those that wish to acknowledge it.

The Canal is a great read, offering many twists, turns, sights and smells that you won’t soon forget! It’s a gumshoe murder mystery with a truly terrifying monster and will make you think twice about what might be lurking in the sewage canals of your city!

Order it on Amazon!

Book Review: Queen Victoria - Demon Hunter by A.E. Moorat

I started reading Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter right after seeing Young Victoria (what can I say, I’m a sucker for period dramas!) and was delighted to find that this book parallel the film in many ways. Well, at least in historical accuracy regarding the Queen’s ascension to the throne, members of Parliament as well as those of Royal Family and other historical figures, her falling in love with Prince Albert and their subsequent marriage! Of course, the book also featured many fictitious twists and turns involving the undead, demons, werewolves, succubi and the Queen’s own demon-slaying team, called the Protektorate, all of which were heartily welcomed by this horror fan!

From the book’s back cover:

London 1838 – Queen Victoria is crowned; she receives the orb, the sceptre, and an arsenal of blood-stained weaponry. Because if Britain is about to become the greatest power of the age, there’s the small matter of the demons to take care of first.

But rather than dreaming of demon hunting, it is Prince Albert that occupies her thoughts. Can she dedicate her life to saving her country when her heart belongs elsewhere?

With lashings of glistening entrails, decapitations, and foul demons, this masterly new portrait will give a fresh understanding of a remarkable woman, a legendary monarch, and quite possibly the best Demon Hunter the world has ever seen…

From the first moment I picked up Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter I did not want to put it down! It is packed with vivid imagery, fierce battles, villainess characters, clever quips and the gripping story of how Queen Victoria ascended to the throne and her struggles of not only ruling a kingdom, but also slaying demons. I love the re-imagining of her as a demon hunter, and though the revamping of period pieces or historical figures into more horror-themed books seems to be all the rage (see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and so on) Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter is still an extremely engaging novel.

Author A.E. Moorat has done a seamless job weaving blood and guts with a royal biography. He also offers up plenty of twists and turns that kept me entertained and on my toes. Highlights include a Lord that employs a zombie manservant (with a fake zombie leg, no less!), a thrilling battle on horseback between the Queen’s Protektor and demon horsemen, a trip to the dreary mental hospital, Bedlam, an intriguing backstory on demon lineage, a bloody zombie battle at the House of Commons, and many, many more exciting tidbits.

As you can see, this is not just a book for history buffs, but one that horror fans will definitely fall head over heels for. It’s got everything you could possibly ask for – drama, political intrigue, romance, action and loads of gooey gore! All is seamlessly woven together by author Moorat, coinciding with a nail-biting climax where the Queen must rescue her Prince from evil’s clutches, but not before she learns an awful family secret.

I cannot recommend this book enough! It kept me up into the wee hours of the morning, as I devoured chapter after chapter to find out what was to become of Queen Victoria and the many other characters that bring the story to life. I just could not get enough of the novel, and as the end drew near I was both excited and sad – excited to see the conclusion of the story but also sad that it was coming to an end! I do hope that perhaps we get a sequel out of Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter, because it deserves one (and I would love to see the Queen battling demons as she grows older!).

Get your copy on Amazon!

Denizen (2010)

You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a truly atrocious indie film, but Denizen has broken my winning streak. Denizen, the third feature from action-oriented filmmaker J.A. Steel (The Third Society, Salvation), was filmed in nine days in Steel’s guerilla style filmmaking on film and 24p video. That’s all fine and dandy, but the film looks dated, the narrative is convoluted and the film has major pacing problems, not to mention the film’s horrendous acting and several technical issues.

Now, I understand all the hard work that goes into making a film on a low budget and how some sacrifices in quality have to be made, but the problems with Denizen don’t necessarily stem from the budget and could have been easily fixed. For example, the story could have been tightened up, unnecessary scenes could have been removed or edited and more attention should have been paid to the pacing of the film. It’s a pity the film isn’t better, because there are glimmers of greatness in Denizen…they just never seem to break the surface.

Peace gets shattered in a small town when a mysterious creature starts to leave a bloody trail. The last hope for the residents to fight the terror and prevent the destruction by military forces rests on the courage and the resourcefulness of a small group of scientists.

Drawing on her experience in her first feature film, The Third Society, Steel brings back a tough motorcycle riding main character in form of Sierra Deacon. It is Deacon’s team, consisting of Dexter Maines (Ben Bayless) and Dallas Murphy (Jody Mullins), that has to save the town from the creature. After several deaths, a special Army Unit, led by General Jernigan (Glen Jensen), is called in to contain the creature, or if necessary, destroy the town. It is a race against time to stop the creature and prevent the town from being destroyed.

What makes the film nigh unwatchable? Denizen is a mish-mash of choppy scenes, unnecessarily dialogue, painful acting, a drawn-out and meandering storyline, poor effects, undeveloped characters and a myriad of technical problems like the many static camera angles that made me think I was watching a poorly-acted community theater production. There is so much wrong with this film that future filmmakers should watch it to see what NOT to do when making a film…this is definitely a Z-grade horror flick.

On the plus side, a major highlight of the film was watching J.A. Steel’s kick ass character of Sierra Deacon. Her gruffness and take-charge attitude made it hard to take my eyes off of her! Plus, her character has a nice twist that is one of the only cool things that happens in the flick (and its idea of the “monster within” really should have been developed more). J.A. might not be cut out for filmmaking, but she was the only decent actress in the entire production! Her performance was pretty much the only pleasurable thing about watching Denizen. 

I wholeheartedly support indie filmmaking, especially when helmed by a woman director, but I can’t sugarcoat the fact that this film is just downright awful. I may support indie filmmaking and women filmmakers, but only when the movie is actually worth championing!

Visit Denizen’s Myspace!

Book Review: On Monsters - An Unnatural History of Our Worst Fears by Stephen T. Asma

What do you think of when you hear the word “monster”? Do you think of what could be lurking in the shadows or do you think of the latest murderer to pop up on the news? Are our fears governed by the unknown or the ever-present threat that a monster could be living next door? Where do our fears of monsters even come from?

Stephen T. Asma’s masterful and whimsical tome, On Monsters: An Unnatural History of Our Worst Fears, seeks to answer these questions by giving a comprehensive account of all kinds of monsters and their changing roles in society. Asma takes on through different eras to show us how monsters were perceived and how humans tried to explain and rationalize them. He covers five different parts with his book, starting with ancient monsters (griffins, Cyclops, gorgons, etc.) to Biblical monsters (Behemoth, Gog and Magog, demons, etc.) to scientific monsters (where seemingly supernatural or abnormal “monsters” were explained and rationalized by science) to the more modern “inner” monsters and examining their psychological aspects to the final part of the book which examines monsters today and tomorrow (terrorists, technology, etc.).

Asma’s expansive book seeks to examine monsters from the past and present and exactly pin point how and why each era’s monsters so terrified its denizens. The book explores how monsters were handled and how some became incorporated into scientific rationality while some defied (and continue to defy) logic.

On Monsters is an amazingly insightful, educational and even humorous book and begins with detailing some of the oldest recorded writings on monsters. Asma presents all the facts, then postulates on whether ancient monsters were actually real or just embellished accounts of extraordinary animals. He continues to do this across each era he examines, presenting more and more monsters that have been written about through the centuries. On Monsters would be a fascinating read if it were merely a catalog of monsters, but Asma goes much, much further than cryptozoology and examines the philosophies of many different cultures when dealing with “monsters”. For example, Asma delves into the philosophies of Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Darwin, Freud and many, many more to try and discern their views on the monstrous and how monsters fit into their world views.

Asma accompanies his cultural and philosophical studies of monsters with his many detailed drawings along with reprinted photographs and pictures from other texts. These add to an overall comprehension of the monsters and each era’s apprehension about them. It’s so great to be able to see interpretations as to how certain by-gone monsters looked (griffins, Cyclops, manticores, Behemoth, the dog-headed version of St. Christopher, sea monsters, etc.) as well as more misunderstood “monsters”, including people with medical conditions that were put into side shows (Fedor Jeftichew – the “dog-faced boy” and William Henry Johnson – “Zip the Pinhead”) and medical anomalies like the so-called “headless children”. Asma’s own drawings are extremely detailed and really look like sketches one might find in old scientific texts on supposed “monsters”.

On Monsters is an insightful and wondrous book packed to the gills with the history of monsters and how views on monsters have changed across time. Yet, each era will have its own examples of monsters and the monstrous can never be fully eradicated. Asma shows us that if we learn to live with our “monsters” our lives might be all the better for it.

Order it on Amazon!

Mad Monster Party (1967)

Looking for something ooky and spooky to watch this Halloween? Look no further than the kooky Mad Monster Party! Created by the same folks that brought you stop-motion animation Christmas specials like Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Mad Monster Party is a howling good time for the whole freaky family!

After finding the secret of life, Baron Von Frankenstein (voiced by Boris Karloff) has finally discovered the secret of destruction (“I, Baron von Frankenstein, master of the secret of creation, have now mastered the secret of destruction”)and is inviting all his favorite monsters to his castle for a celebration! He also plans to announce that he is retiring and bequeathing all his secrets to his (gasp!) human heir, the clueless Felix Flanken (voiced by Allen Swift, who also voiced most of the monsters). The Baron’s assistant, lovely redheaded Francesca (voiced by Gale Garnett), doesn’t take too kindly to the news. She and the other monsters, including Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and his Mate (voiced by Phyllis Diller), The Wolf Man, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, The Hunchback, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and so on, plan on taking Felix out before he inherits the Baron’s secrets!

Mad Monster Party is a mad, mad, mad little movie that is a joy to watch around Halloween! With newly restored editions, I really think they should play this on television around Halloween just like they play all of the other stop-animation movies around Christmas! It’s got some spiffy musical numbers, lots of adult humor and overall just looks amazing!

The character design is amazing, especially considering how many monsters are running around. Besides those mentioned above, there is also the hilarious Chef Mafia Machiavelli (“Here we have the antipasto – black widows pickled in their own poison, smoked lizards and snakes, and marinated mice.”), Yetch, the creepy, Peter Lorre-inspired servant (Yetch: “It’s me, your Don Juan.” Francesca: “I Don Juan to look at you”.), a groovy skeleton band called Little Tibia and the Fibulas (“It’s the mummy!”) and, of course, the uninvited It that crashes the party later in the film!

The scope of the film is very ambitious, and seems much bigger than other Rankin/Bass productions like The Year Without Santa Claus or Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer. The setting of Baron Von Frankenstein’s towering castle, with its crocodile-filled lagoon and man-eating flora and fauna, is absolutely stunning and really invokes nostalgic feelings from childhood, especially when accompanied by the stop-motion animation! This is definitely one for the spooky kid in all of us!

If you are looking for some light-hearted fare this October, Mad Monster Party is one classic film to check out! Even though they slip some decidedly adult humor in there, it is still suitable for young tots, too! Anyone looking to regain some Halloween spirit should definitely watch Mad Monster Party – it never fails to put me in a kooky mood!

Order it on Amazon!

Book Review: The Dark Verse, Vol. 1 by M. Amanuensis Sharkchild

The Dark Verse, Volume 1: From the Passages of Revenants is a collection of 26 fantastical short stories from the darkly imaginative mind of author M. Amanuensis Sharkchild. Sharkchild’s stories were first featured on his self-produced podcast “The Dark Verse” where he would release a fantastically horrific story every two weeks.

The podcast developed quite a following and led to the stories being collected into The Dark Verse Volume 1. This is a beautifully black-bound book with a silver foil cover and black dusting that contains some of the most bizarre and engaging stories I’ve ever come across. The tales tell of distant dimensions and unbelievable beings all the while oozing with an otherworldly atmosphere.

Each and every one of the stories drew me in with the eloquent and sophisticated writing of Sharkchild. Delving deeper and deeper into the great unknown, Sharkchild conjures visions of horrifying monsters and mysterious worlds beyond our own. He creates a window that peers into the black abyss, and the result is that things from the unknown start to look back.

Some would be quick to point out the similarities between Sharkchild’s esoteric style and H.P. Lovecraft’s writings, but though they appear similar I would argue that Sharkchild has a very distinct and unique way of unveiling his mysterious stories. I will say that like any good horror author, Sharkchild’s stories will leave you unhinged as you get a glimpse of the strange species that permeate his imagination and have scrawled themselves into this book.

For example, in the short story What the Flesh Cannot Keep the “Haunter Behind Space” is described by the poor mortal who sees it as “eyes that covered every surface, the souls within them, and the vulgar, detestable complacency of existence that saturated every ounce of its being”. Of course, seeing such a creature would prove fatal to any mortal…

One of my favorite stories is The Changing of the Feyth, told in two parts, about feyths, which are regarded as demigods in their realm. The feyth protagonist describes his race as such: “Our flesh is ash gray and its texture is that of leather. Our eyes are as black as coal and our teeth are as sharp as swords. Our ears are large and so are our noses. We grow to be tall as giants, but our bodies always keep the same slenderness, no matter what our strength or what we consume. Our only master is the Almighty of Shadows…” The story is about how one feyth turns against his brethren and is filled with bloody battle, ghosts and even fairies.

In the story titled Between the Corridors, a small child is haunted by the “Midnight Apothecary”, a nightmarish vision that invades his very mind. It perverts childhood innocence and memories of balloons and ice cream with a menacing and sinister parasitic creature that invades the child’s mind and won’t let go until he relinquishes it.

The book is filled with excellent stories such as those mentioned above, so it is hard not to talk about each and every single one as there is not a bad one in the entire collection. For space sake, I’ll have to keep it down to those mentioned above with hopes they give you a general gist of the fascinating tales told by Sharkchild.

All of Sharkchild’s stories are inhabited by grotesque yet sometimes wondrous beings who have managed to break forth into our own world. These unimaginably horrific monsters populate these short stories, and Sharkchild’s writing brings them to startling and shocking clarity. His stories exist on a different plane, a dimension where unspeakable horrors lie in wait, ready to assault and invade our own existence. These are tales that could reduce you to madness as you marvel at their complex simplicity. Horror lies in fearing the unknown, and boy, does Sharkchild ever have a grasp of how to scare us!

Besides the articulate and intelligent way Sharkchild tells his stories, I must also comment on the overall aesthetic of the book, which is absolutely gorgeous. The outside of the hardback book is wrapped in a faux leather with silver foil stamping adorning it, as well as black dusting on the edges of the pages. Its presentation is impeccable, but only gets better when you open the tome, for inside is stunning artwork by John F. Stifter. Truly, this is one of the most beautifully books I’ve ever reviewed and Armored Books did a fabulous job with its design. This book, though no doubt well-read, will adorn my bookcase for a long, long time.

The Dark Verse, Volume 1: From the Passages of Revenants is an elite collection of fascinating and frightening stories that is sure to impress any horror aficionado who is looking for more peculiar tales rather than the standard slasher/zombie/vampire/serial killer novels that tend to permeate horror fiction. Its high quality is a rarity and I, for one, will treasure this book for a long while.

Order it on Amazon!

Transylvania Television: Season One (2009)

Saturday morning cartoons were always my favorite. I’d get up super-duper early, get myself a big bowl of sugary cereal, plop myself in front of the TV to wait until the early morning agricultural reports were over to watch some toons…until my parents harassed me to get outside and play in the sunshine.

I grew up on puppet shows like Sesame Street, The Muppet Show and Fraggle Rock and always marveled at the colorful and wondrous characters that were on the shows. Heck, I even thought they were real until my parents explained that they were puppets made to come alive by people. Despite the fact that I learned the puppets weren’t real, they still contained a certain magic for me. I still remember my giddiness and joy I had as a child watching these puppet cartoon shows.

So, when I received my copy of Transylvania Television: Season One the kid inside me was desperately clawing to get out. To satiate my inner demon child, I got myself a big bowl of cereal and plopped down in front of the TV to enjoy Transylvania Television.

Transylvania Television is a puppet comedy show that is populated by a bevy of colorful characters that run a television show out of a gothic castle in Transylvania. The characters include a vampire, a bat, a yeti and a Frankestein monster, among others! Here is the official synopsis:

A dysfunctional family of misfit monsters tries desperately to run an obscure television station deep in Transylvania, with worldwide broadcast power and the ability to reanimate dead TV shows.

The Vampire Le Shoc is king of his castle, but struggles vainly to maintain order while taking delight in the suffering of his motley crew of minions. And he ain’t your run of the mill Count, either, he’s a LeStat-dressin’, nosferatu-lookin’, Richard-O’Brien-from-Rocky-Horror-talkin’ creep with some serious issues.

Furry J. Ackermonster, the station’s new intern, is a bright orange yeti, who having recently graduated from an American college, is struggling with student loans, laziness, and a burgeoning pottery collection. Enjoys beer, snowboarding, and hairy chicks.

The station’s majordomo is Batfink, a surf-lovin’, kustom kar creatin’ bat. Think beach blanket beatnik with wings. He manages to keep the station running via the power of the Frankenstein Device, the same contraption that gave life to the Frankenstein Monster. When used to boost the signal of the station, it gives old shows NEW LIFE – and turns them into far-out parodies in the process.

They are joined by Dwayne Frankenstein, a fella who’s wired just a little bit differently than the rest of us. The Frankenstein Monster has been done to death, but you’ve never seen him like this: a brain-damaged, working-class Brit soccer hooligan made from 13 different people. He may sound dense but he’s not naïve, and has been known for moments of brilliance in the midst of an otherwise stupefying existence.

Tune in to Transylvania Television: the Retro Monster Comedy Series that’s really not for kids, not necessarily safe for work, and known to promote skull decay.

Watching Transylvania Television I got that same giddy, unbridled feeling from watching cartoons as a kid…only this time the jokes were dirtier and the language fouler. That’s not to say Transylvania Television has its mind in the gutter…I was expecting something along the lines of Avenue Q, but thankfully for my inner child the “adult content” isn’t that bad. And I still laughed my ass off. Creators Gordon Smuder, Michael Heagle and Clarke Stone have truly created something very special with Transylvania Television!

The look of the series is also great…anyone who loves The Munsters, The Addams Family, Groovy Ghoulies and old late-night horror shows will appreciate the gothic atmosphere of the meticulously decorated sets. Plus, the monster characters fit right in and are a riot! We have the old school Vampire Le Shoc who refuses to use computers…until he gets addicted to the Internet, the dull-witted Dwayne Frankenstein who uses a vacuum for landscaping, the Vampire Le Shoc’s right-hand man, Batfink, Furry J. Ackermonster (love the tribute!), a college graduate just trying to keep his neck and not have Fast Eddie’s House of Ax called on him if he screws up, and Esmeralda, the 90-year-old gypsy with her own variety show called Babushka Buzz. The look of the puppets and the performances of the actors behind them were all amazing. I really think this series deserves a spot on Adult Swim or one of the big horror/sci-fi networks! I would much rather watch the brilliance of Transylvania Television than the crap that is usually on TV!

I loved all of the short episodes included in the disc, but I also wholeheartedly enjoyed the extras! In the “Vintage” section we have older puppet sketches from the creators, including “Chasing Army” where two couch potatoes philosophize on who would win in a fight, the Tasmanian Devil or Animal, a hilarious Star Trek sketch called “Puppet Trek” where Spock keeps prank calling Captain Kirk and more! There is also a section called “Oddities” that features promos for upcoming episodes, contests and so on, plus a hilarious sketch called “Hey Hitler” where little demons are tormenting Hitler in Hell…with bad jokes. These extras are almost as delightful as the episodes!

Transylvania Television is a retro puppet show that is a whole lotta fun and will really connect with both horror and comedy lovers. It’s the perfect gift for yourself or that special someone right now, especially since it is so close to Halloween! You can buy a copy on Transylvania Television’s site!

So what are you waiting for? Put on your pajamas, grab that big bowl of Sugar O’s, sit down right in front of your television set and pop in Transylvania Television! It may not be kid-friendly, but it is Fatally-Yours-approved!

Visit Transylvania Television’s Official Site!

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Big Man Japan (2007)

We all know and probably love Japanese Kaiju flicks. Giant monster films like Godzilla, which feature men in suits stomping cardboard cities, have a special place in many a horror fan’s heart. So when I heard about Big Man Japan, a Japanese film that promised to both pay homage and spoof Kaiju films, I knew I had to see it. Surprisingly, Big Man Japan has a lot more heart than I expected, but definitely doesn’t hesitate to also include some odd-looking monsters and preposterous situations.

A camera crew follows around and interviews the seemingly ordinary Masaru Daisatô (Hitoshi Matsumoto), an unkempt man scorned by the populace who lives in a dirty bachelor pad with only his cat for company. He has his quirks, like having a penchant for both dehydrated seaweed and pocket umbrellas, but what really warrants a camera crew documenting his every move is that he is Big Man Japan, the only superhero left to fight the ginormous monsters that attack the country from time to time. When Masaru gets a call, he rushes to the nearest power plant where he is zapped with electricity and transforms into the humongous big man himself.

Even though Masaru or “Big Man” protects the country against monsters, most people hate him for all the disruption and damage he causes. He has a TV show, but his ratings are horrible and not even his agent can help boost his popularity. People make fun of him and his fights with the monsters.

Besides dealing with being unappreciated and battling strange creatures, Masaru also must deal with family issues, including his senile grandfather, who used to be one of the more famous superheroes, who periodically escapes from his nursing home to wander the streets after zapping himself into a Big Man. He also must deal with an ex-wife that hardly ever lets him see his daughter, whom he hopes to hand down the family tradition to.

No matter his problems, Masaru must protect the country and defeat the monsters that threaten his homeland.

Told in faux documentary style, Big Man Japan’s focus on Masaru’s life as a normal, yet scorned, man surprised me. That’s not to say that there weren’t many monster-fighting scenes, but I found myself enjoying the scenes with Masaru as an everyday man more. The humanity he exhibited and his perseverance to keep doing his job even when everyone hated him for it, kept my eyes glued to the screen.

The story, written by Hitoshi Matsumoto and Mitsuyoshi Takasu, is both hilarious and somber. There are many winks and nods toward Japanese Kaiju films, but the real enjoyment of the story came from seeing Masaru’s struggles in everyday life, whether they were with his deteriorating family, greedy agent or general public. The monster battles were fun and the monsters themselves inventive, but the action got repetitive pretty fast. I will probably be the only one who actually liked the documentary aspects more than the monster battles, which I found a bit too silly and out of place (even for this film). And the nonsensical finale just didn’t make a lick of sense!!

The CGI fight scenes were, for lack of a better word, colorful, with numerous zany monsters for Big Man to fight against. Among them was a zebra-striped monster with elastic arms that picked up skyscrapers, flipped them over its back and deposited them upside down before adjusting its comb-over. Other monsters included a giant Hellboy look-alike, a one-eyed monster (no joke), a stink monster in the middle of mating season, a one-legged monster and even a baby monster. The weirdest thing about the monsters was that no matter how otherworldly their bodies looked, most of them had human-like faces, making them awkwardly creepy! Plus, everytime one of them dies they get beamed up to “monster heaven”. The live-action finale, which was more faithful to traditional Kaiju as it had people dressed up in monster/superhero suits smashing up a cut-out city, was just weird and wacky.

I was expecting Big Man Japan to be just another homage to Japanese Kaiju flicks, but while it has its fun spoofing them, it also has a lot more heart than I first gave it credit for. Truth be told, though the monster battles were amusing, I wasn’t too into their style and they got repetitive pretty fast. I was much more interested in the documentary aspect of the film where we learn about the lead character more as a human being than as a superhero.

Big Man Japan certainly isn’t a film for everyone, but those with an appreciation for giant monster films will probably get a kick out of it!

Buy it on Amazon!

The Burrowers (2009)

Decent horror-western films are hard to come by, though it seems the two genres would go together so well. Think of the desolate Wild West and how something horrific could stalk wayward cowboys or pioneers on such a lonely frontier. The wide open spaces, with no one around to help for hundreds of miles, could indeed turn ominous with the proper story. The history of the West itself is filled with stories of missing wagon trains, ghosts, ghost towns and strange creatures, not to mention the numerous Native American myths.

It really bums me out that there aren’t more horror-Western films, but luckily writer/director J.T. Petty (who gave us the amazingly subtle, but no less disturbing, Soft for Digging) has managed to craft this kind of menacing story with The Burrowers, recently released on DVD on April 21st, 2009 from Lionsgate.

Life in the Dakota Territories in 1879 isn’t easy. The few pioneers that rough it out there have to overcome the lack of civilization, harsh climate and the threat of Indian raids. Yet settlers experience a certain freedom in the Wild West…like Irish immigrant Coffey (Karl Geary), who fled the oppression of back East to start a new life on the frontier. He is even planning on asking for his sweetheart’s hand in marriage. Only, when he goes to visit her one morning, he finds four of her family dead and her, along with five others, missing. An Indian raid is the first explanation given for the brutal scene, and a posse, including experienced frontiersmen John Clay (Clancy Brown), Will Parcher (William Mapother), Coffey and a young teen hoping to become a man, is formed to hunt them down. They are soon joined by the cavalry, lead by the nasty Henry Victor (Doug Hutchison), who likes to belitte his cook and ex-slave Callaghan (Sean Patrick Thomas) and viciously torture Indians for information. The one brave they do catch can only warn them of “the burrowers”…and as people start disappearing into the night, pulled down into darkness by these “burrowers”, the group discovers that they are the ones being hunted and not by any Indians, either! They soon realize that the real enemy stalks them from deep within the earth and that what they face is far more terrifying than death.

The Burrowers delivers a beautifully menacing horror film and shows exactly why a Western setting works so well in the horror genre. The expansive plains evoke a melancholy loneliness during the day, but at night they achieve a more sinister feel. Just what are the long prairie grasses and dark shadows beyond the campfire hiding? What are the strange noises coming from the dark? This wonderful setting, coupled with cinematographer Phil Parnet’s panoramic views of the West during the day and claustrophobic shots at night, creates a tension-filled and frightening film that shouldn’t be missed.

Writer/director J.T. Perry doesn’t just let the scenery speak for itself, though. The story is also an extremely well-crafted monster tale that doesn’t sacrifice sophistication for scares. Perry wisely keeps the monsters in the dark for most of the film, teasing us with their strange sounds and small glimpses of the beasts. An enormous amount of tension is created by doing this, especially during the night-time scenes in which the monsters circle a camp of the posse.

Perry also includes the obligatory social commentary about white men abusing the natives, but also shows how distrustful the Native Americans were of white men. This adds some more tension to the story and the distrustful feelings of both the white men and Native Americans feel very accurate.

The stellar cast of actors also does a fine job of creating tension, whether between themselves, the natives or what lurks underground. Doug Hutchison (Punisher: War Zone, Lost) was great as the villainous Henry Victor, complete with a mustache that curled at the ends. Clancy Brown (Carnivale, Lost), William Mapother (Lost, Prison Break) and Karl Geary were all wonderful as the “good guys,” bewildered by what “the burrowers” truly are but determined to push on and find the missing victims. Everyone was believable in their role, not the easiest thing to pull off in a period piece, and evoked the proper emotions, whether it was to loathe or love their character.

The film isn’t a gorefest but there are several nicely bloodied scenes that delivered. The creep-factor was more intense in this film than the gore, and the creatures and just what they did to their prey really got under my skin. The creature effects, by Robert Hall (who is making quite a name for himself in horror – check out his recent Laid to Rest film), were pretty awesome and downright creepy. Some people have complained of the “look” of the creatures, but I definitely have no complaints. Everything from their movements to their maws to the sounds they made sent shivers up my spine!

The Burrowers is what I like to call “high-end horror.” It’s a more sophisticated, more nuanced film that doesn’t rely on cheap scares or stereotypical characters like some throw-away horror films. It has a menacing feel and a tense atmosphere that slowly build until the abrupt finale, where you can finally let your breath out! It is also one of the few horror films that has capitalized on a Western setting, which in turn makes it an even more eerie and frightening film!

This is definitely one of the best horror-Westerns ever made, and so far one of the best films of 2009! Go see it!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Garbage Man by Joseph D'Lacey

Joseph D’Lacey follows up his stunning debut novel Meat with an equally aware new horror novel, Garbage Man! This time around, instead of focusing on people’s blind faith and ignorance as to where their food comes from like in Meat, D’Lacey addresses people’s wastefulness and what happens to all the trash that is so irresponsibly disposed of.

As Meat was, Garbage Man is an eye-opening experience that asks relevant but difficult questions. Garbage Man further establishes D’Lacey as one of the most socially aware and most important horror writers of our time!

The town of Shreve is most well-known for its gigantic landfill. Every day more waste is heaped upon the already bulging area, with the denizens never really questioning where their waste will go once the landfill has reached max capacity nor really caring that they are poisoning the ground and surrounding countryside.

Mason Brand, once a famous photographer but now a reclusive hermit living in Shreve, hears “the calling.” Where once before he ignored it, this time he will heed the call and help usher in a new age as a new type of creature is born from people’s unwanted trash. This creature is fashioned from bits of rusty pipes, old appliances, scraps of rag and bone, garbage bags, food wrappers and anything and everything else that was put in the landfill. With Brand’s help, this creature and its brethren seek to rise up from the wastefulness of humans and establish a new order…

Eco-horror is poised to be the next big thing, and I believe that D’Lacey is at the forefront of such and important and frightening sub-genre. If you think about it, now is the perfect time for this sub-genre to emerge, with the crisis of global warming, devastating droughts, increased hurricane and tornado activity, mass pollution, extinction of animals, deforestation and on and on. Everyone should be concerned with these issues that hit close to home. I think that eco-horror and socially relevant horror novels like Garbage Man could make a big difference. Hell, D’Lacey’s Meat novel made me go vegan and I’ve no doubt that Garbage Man will make me take a closer look at my consumption and what I throw away.

I really admire D’Lacey for incorporating such tough issues into horror novels. Without being “preachy” he makes his readers question actions as seemingly mundane as what you eat and what you throw away. As you read his novels, a self-realization will take over that will make you question your own actions and how they effect your environment and the world at large, as well as how they effect yourself. D’Lacey is never forceful in his views, instead letting you come to your own big “ah-ha!” moment.

Garbage Man is no exception, with D’Lacey writing some very powerful prose. The novel is also extremely entertaining, creeping under your skin with the description of the “Garbage Man” and his slithering yet awkward brothers and sisters in the first stages of their lives. From otherworldly and weird these garbage creatures quickly turn menacing as they begin to grow and pose more a threat to Shreve.

The novel kind of feels like it is in two parts…one is the story of the citizens of Shreve, including Mason Brand, while the second part tells of the birth of the garbage monsters and their attack on the town. The characters are extremely well-developed, but I will say that maybe too much time is spent on the human characters as opposed to the creatures. I would have liked to see more creatures early on. Also, some of the characters’ secrets that are revealed in the first part of the book are never really brought up again…I was expecting their “secrets” (like a father that is a pedophile and a mother that has an affair with a much younger boy) that had been buried in the landfill were going to somehow resurface to haunt and torment them once the creatures were released. Unfortunately, they aren’t really touched upon again.

Other than that, Garbage Man was another stunning work from Joseph D’Lacey and a book that I could barely put down! It was a real page turner and really makes you think, just what if Mother Nature gets tired of our trashing her and decides to cleanse the planet…?

Better start recycling…

Available from Amazon!

Cannibal Flesh Riot! (2007)

Gris Grimly is well-known as an artist of the macabre, lending his creepy creativeness to gothic tales like Edgar Allan Poe’s Tales of Mystery and Madness and Edgar Allen Poe’s Tales of Death and Dementia, The Dangerous Alphabet, Boris and Bella and many, many more books. His art is striking, immediately recognizable and gruesomely gorgeous for fans with an inkling for the darker side of life.

Now Gris Grimly has taken on another medium – film. His 34 minute short film Cannibal Flesh Riot!, which he wrote, directed and produced, is just as much a fiendish feast for the eyes as his artwork is. Cannibal Flesh Riot! is a love letter from Grimly to old, black and white horror films and will have you falling in love all over again with Grimly.

After a very charming introduction by Gris Grimly himself explaining exactly what “ghouls” are (they are definitely different from your standard zombie or vampire), the film opens with a police investigation of a very unusual illegal exhumation at the local cemetery. The lieutenant (played by fellow amazing artist D.W. Frydendall) is baffled as to why there a fresh corpse exhumed from his grave and left above ground while his final resting place has been filled in with dirt again…just who or WHAT is buried in the dead man’s place?

We then cut back to the previous night, where we meet lanky Stash and hunchbacked Hub. Stash and Hub are centuries-old ghouls who eat the flesh of the dead…but they prefer fresh meat, so they are on the prowl for a freshly interned corpse. As they stalk through the cemetery they discuss important topics such as how to properly season a corpse, the plethora of condiments (relish is “pickle vomit” according to Stash), how to deal with nosy authorities and why humans dress up their food to make it look like people in order to make it appetizing (like the California Raisins or the McDonald’s characters).

As the ghouls start digging up a grave for their dinner, they get a very unexpected and unwelcome surprise…

Cannibal Flesh Riot! evokes the feel of our beloved, black and white B-horror movies. It is filmed in grainy black and white with added scratches and dirt that really adds to the creeptastic atmosphere. There are even moments when stop-motion animation is used and within this film it works extremely well, only adding to the overall, old-school horror feel of Cannibal Flesh Riot!

The look of the film is a mix between Tim Burton visuals and old gothic horror films. Some scenes are even reminiscent of German expressionist films, complete with exaggerated and askew angles. The film also feels like old horror TV shows like The Vampira Show with bats on strings flying across the screen. The cemetery, with its crumbling, crooked headstones is just pure gothic horror goodness!

The story, written by Grimly, is extremely engaging and you get quite connected to the characters of Stash and Hub. It’s towards the end that you remember that these two ghouls are bloodthirsty villains out for dead human flesh! Even then, I was still rooting for them! I loved the witty banter between them and the characters themselves are quirky and endlessly entertaining. Grimly’s story (along with the visuals) just put a big smile on my face throughout the entire film!

David Backus as Stash and Dustin Loreque as Hub are just fantastic as the ghouls. I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing the two characters. They both give rabble-rousing performances that really make the film. Without their amazing acting some of the dialogue could have come off sounding too over-the-top and campy, but Backus and Loreque fully immerse themselves in their characters and make their dialogue believable and entertaining!

The special effects used were also pretty cool…the last sequence when Stash and Hub are “surprised” by something is filmed entirely in stop-motion, but it is damn impressive! It reminded me of Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion effects on Jason and the Argonauts, especially with a scene involving a skeleton! The stop-motion animation is done extremely well and fits perfectly into the atmosphere of the film.

Also adding to the already spooky atmosphere of the film is the amazing score by Hola Ghost. The slowly-building, ominous score really complements the creeping fog, hooting owls and hanging moss of the cemetery. It adds so much to the film and Hola Ghost should really be commended for crafting such a creeping menace of a score!

I just cannot speak highly enough of Cannibal Flesh Riot! After its success, I sincerely hope Gris Grimly will pursue more film projects (his next film project is entitled Gris Grimly’s Wounded Embark of the Lovesick Mind). I know that I can’t wait to re-watch (and re-watch and re-watch) this film, as well as sharing its genius with my friends.

If you are a horror fan that appreciates the classics, it is almost guaranteed that you will adore Cannibal Flesh Riot! as mush as I did! Cannibal Flesh Riot! is like horror film comfort food…it is familiar, satisfying and you’ll come back to it for seconds (and thirds…and fourths…)!

Just hold the relish, please…

Buy on Amazon!

Book Review: Monstrous - 20 Tales of Giant Creature Terror edited by Ryan C. Thomas

Remember the golden years of giant monsters? When everything from giant insects, giant people, giant rodents, giant spiders, giant aliens and giant monsters rampaged across the cinematic landscape? While most of these films from the ’50s don’t hold up today (some didn’t even hold up back then!), I think that something ginormous overtaking Earth and usurping humans’ place at the top of the food chain is still a fear ingrained in all of us.

Which is why Permuted Press’ new anthology, Monstrous: 20 Tales of Giant Creature Terror works so well! The 20 tales strike fear and awe into the reader and transport them back to a time of drive-in theaters that showed giant monster movies. The anthology recreates this feeling of nostalgia so well, in fact, that while reading your mind acts as a projector and the stories play out like flickering old black and white movies in your head.

Editor Ryan C. Thomas has done a fantastic job compiling the best and most diverse giant creature tales and never once does the book feel repetitive or boring. On the contrary, I could barely put Monstrous down once I started reading! I am also glad to see Permuted Press expanding beyond their tried and true zombie anthologies. It is quite a treat to get something so different from them!

All of the short stories are stellar, and while there aren’t any that I didn’t enjoy, there are a handful that really stood out to me. My favorite would probably have to be The Cove by Gregory L. Norris. It combined elements from crime capers, government conspiracies and cover-ups, treasure hunting and giant monsters into a nail-biting tale. In it, two thieves on the lam head to an isolated stretch of coast that isn’t on any maps…but for very good reason. For what comes out of the ocean is much more terrifying than the goons after them or the government operatives that try to stop their progress.

Other favorites include: A Plague From the Mud by Aaron Polson (editor of anthology Tainted) where giant beetles invade an Oregon logging town, Present Tense, Future Imperfect by D.L. Snell (author of Roses of Blood on Barbwire Vines) that deals with time travel, giant insects and saving the world, Attack of the 500 Foot Porn Star by Steven L. Shrewsbury that is just as outrageous as it sounds, Keeping Watch by Nate Kenyon, a creepy story about something evil lurking in the dark depths of a lake, The Long Dark Submission by Paul Stuart about fishermen who remain submerged in the ocean for months looking for a specific fish but instead come face-to-face with a terrifyingly large monstrosity, Extinction by Evan Dicken, a tale set in Medieval times where dragons are pitted against each other and machines for sport, Gone Fishin’ by John R. Platt that finds a farmer damming a river to spite his neighbors but ends up trapping a bloodthirsty monster and Six-Legged Shadows by David Conyers and Brian M. Sammons where explorers return to Earth after living in space for many hundreds of years only to find that everything is giant-sized.

Monstrous is a delight to read, combining the nostalgia of ’50s giant creature movies with modern-day science, storytelling and twists! As you can see, the stories offer much variety and even though I can’t mention them all, every single one was is worthwhile to read. What horror fan can resist giant ants, towering porn stars, huge crabs, hulking felines, gigantic fish and other larger-than-life creepy crawlies?  Monstrous comes highly recommended!

Available from Amazon!

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008)

We’ve seen a lot of horror homages these past few years, from Hatchet to Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. These kind of films relish in winking at the audience, nudging them with past horror movie references and trivia. It is rare for these films to actually transcend their self-referential nature and actually become the films they are emulating.

Now, another film that pays homage to old school monster flicks and Evil Dead-style demonic possession movies has been released…and that film is Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, directed by Jon Knautz and written by the team of Knautz, Jon Ainslio, Trevor Matthews (who also plays the titular role) and Patrick White. The difference between Jack Brooks and other types of “tribute” films is that Jack Brooks actually stands on its own as a bad-ass horror-comedy, action-packed film!

Small town plumber Jack Brooks (Trevor Matthews) has anger issues. He is seeing a shrink, but his sessions don’t seem to be helping much. You see, when Jack was a young boy he saw his whole family ripped apart by a strange creature that can only be described as a monster. Ever since then he has blamed himself and hasn’t been the same. He is enrolled in a biology night class with his nagging girlfriend Eve (Rachel Skarsten), but only because she insisted upon it. One night, he helps his professor (Robert Englund) with some plumbing problems at a crumbling old house the professor is renovating.

The house itself has a sordid history, but the professor finds out exactly how nasty it is when he unearths a large crate in his backyard that contains a skeleton and an intact black heart that supposedly belonged to a demon…that is still beating. The professor just isn’t the same after that encounter and is slowly turning into something monstrous…

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is one of the most fun horror films I’ve seen in quite some time! It packs a sympathetic hero, a great performance from Robert Englund and lots of CGI-free demon-looking monsters into a fantastic storyline that sucks you right in!

The writing team of Knautz, Ainslio, Matthews and White really hit on some great ideas here. I loved the flashback sequences to Jack’s childhood as well as the back story on the black heart. Jack’s character development is also very important and I loved seeing his interactions with his therapist and his aggressive outbursts were hilarious! While it is true that the real “monster slaying” doesn’t take place until the last part of the film, it certainly doesn’t make the first part of the film any less interesting! The story is so cleverly told that the pacing is just perfect! I was enthralled from beginning to end with the fast-paced tale.

As for the acting, it is wonderful across the board! From Jack’s harried therapist (played by Daniel Kash) to his bitchy girlfriend (played by Rachel Skarsten) to the professor (played by Robert Englund who is finally in a good movie!) who’s going through some strange changes, every single actor does a spectacular job. And as for Trevor Matthews who plays Jack Brooks, well, people are right to call him the next Bruce Campbell. While Matthews opts for the Everyman act instead of embracing the campy style of Campbell, the result is still the same…pure awesomeness! You root for Matthews the entire time, whether he is punching out a douchebag scheming on his girlfriend, yelling to his therapist about his anger issues or killing monsters!

As for the blood and guts, there are plenty of sickening scenes. Robert Englund pukes all over himself, for one. Then there are the amazing practical effects. As far as I can tell, little or no CGI was used in the film. The final monster is all prosthetics and/or a man in a rubber suit and it’s a nice throwback to old school monster movies. Everything still looks slimy and gory, especially the monster’s students-turned-demons servants. The final showdown, showing the explosive effects of unstable sodium (hey, they are in science class…knowledge is power!) is extremely satisfying!

I can see Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer spawning several sequels that could actually be good if people take notice of this amazing film. Its throwback to old school monster/demon possession movies will make you feel like a kid again! Jack Brooks is finally a hero we can actually cheer for!

Available from Amazon!

Wicked Lake (2008)

Lipstick lesbians Mary (Carlee Baker), Helen (Eryn Joslyn), Jill (Eve Mauro) and Ilene (Robin Sydney) head to a lakeside cabin retreat for some skinny dipping and fun. Little do they know, but a college classmate of one of the girls has followed them and brought his sick and twisted family along for the ride. The family, consisting of the effeminate, unicorn-drawing classmate Caleb (Marc Senter), older brother and leader Palmer (Will Keenan), Grandpa Jim (Frank Birney) and half-idiot brother Fred (Justin Stone), humiliate and abuse the girls until about midnight, when everything changes and the tables get turned…

Meanwhile, cops Jake (Tim Thomerson) and Ray (Michael Esparza) are hot on the trail of some supposed killers…Things sure are about to get messy…

If boobs and blood are your weapon of choice in a horror film, look no further than Wicked Lake to please you! Of course, it has much more to offer than just those two things, like original characters, a unique storyline and plenty of the red stuff! In between the nudity and gore you’ll be treated to quirky characters, which are what made the film work for me. The film opens with the awkward Caleb (played by the fantastic Marc Senter) trying to sketch the naked Ilene (Robin Sydney) in an art class and their strange ensuing conversation after class. After those first scenes you are just hooked! We are further entertained by the over-the-top viciousness of Caleb’s family when they invade the girls’ cabin and the banter between the two cops as they close in on their killers’ location. Other unique characters you’ll encounter on this trip of a movie are a pair of hilarious hillbillies (one played by our good friend Luke Thompson) who nearly steal the show with their short screen time!

Then, of course, are the beautiful girls, who appear mainly in various states of undress throughout the movie. All you guys out there will be drooling over this quadruplet. My only pet peeve with the women characters is that we don’t know much about each individual and the two brunettes of the group (played by Carlee Baker and Eve Mauro) are almost indistinguishable because no time is taken to develop the characters. Still, this doesn’t stop the fact that you’re still rooting for the women the entire time.

It was also smart for writers Chris Sivertson (story) and Adam Rockoff (script) to add the cops into the story. Their part of the plot broke up the overall film and helped with the pacing. It also made for a pretty cool ending! Some people will have a problem with not exactly knowing just what the girls are supposed to be (witches? vampires? werewolves??)…but this didn’t really bother me. What did bother me was that the film could have seriously been trimmed a bit…probably of much of the previously mentioned nudity and makeout scenes (one scene of the four girls making out goes on for about 6 minutes…I’ve even heard from guys that this scene is overly long). These scenes feel like they belong in a sexploitation flick, not in a horror movie…

As for the grue, there is plenty of the red stuff splashed around on-screen. From bashed-in heads to severed penises to brains sucked up through a straw, Wicked Lake has you covered…in blood! The effects seriously look great and are very realistic. I especially loved the sucking-the-brain-through-a-straw scene…one of the most creative death sequences I’ve seen in quite some time!

Wicked Lake is a fun film that still has flaws, especially with finding a balance between its weird vibe and its bloodthirsty nature. At times it felt like an erotic Jean Rollin or Jess Franco film or the original Wicker Man because of its misplaced nekkidness and slightly mystical vibe, but its nastier bits made me recall films such as Last House on the Left and House on the Edge of the Park. It also had many intentionally funny moments, especially featuring Caleb (he does spend most of the movie impaled to a door with a fire poker, but is still alive and able to make the audience giggle). So, to say Wicked Lake is a bit of a hodge-podge, unfocused film would be an understatement…Still, it continually entertained me and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

Available from Amazon!