Gory Gear: Sock Zombies

It all began in a university biology department. What seemed like a routine procedure in a level 3 biohazard facility went terribly wrong. One researcher felt her foot tingle and discovered…her sock had come back from the dead. Thus sock zombies were born and the infection spread rapidly. By nightfall the socks were rising in every neighborhood!

Be warned – Sock Zombies are dangerously cuddly! Approach with extreme caution…or you’ll be infected with their cuteness!

Sock Zombies are the creation of Emily Williams. After being involved in a “stitch and bitch” group every weekend and wanting to make something other than the standard sock monkeys, Emily came up with the idea of making sock ZOMBIES! Emily has been a big zombie fan for all her life and wanted to create a zombie doll for her three year old son that wasn’t too scary. Her creations are the perfect plushy softness that invite cuddling, though Emily says, “I have doomed to my son. When the zombie plague hits, he is going to run out and try to give them all hugs!”

After she made sock zombies for her son (the first two were named Zack and Zelda, after characters in the novel World War Z by Max Brooks and the movie Pet Cemetery), she realized how much she loved them and decided to sell them online. Emily came up with back stories on each of her unique zombie characters (no zombie is ever the same and each one is handmade) and says, “I enjoy imagining scary zombie scenes. It’s like I’m writing my own zombie movie. Sometimes I make some of my favorite hero zombies. I made Bub once and Trash from Return of the Living Dead.”

We received our own sock zombie named Alex. “Alex played basketball with his Dad every afternoon after school, so he waited eagerly for him to come home from work. Unfortunately, Dad wasn’t feeling well enough to play that night, so Alex sat on the end of his bed and told him about his school day. Suddenly his Dad jumped out of bed and bit him. Alex looked down to where his arm used to be, and blacked out. He woke up hungry. Now Alex and his dad have a new father-son activity…hunting.”

Alex came with a bloodied stump of an arm (red yarn), a holey, bloody sweater reminiscent of the one Freddy Krueger wears, some green corduroy pants and a mop of soft, blue hair. Immediately my first reaction was to cuddle the sock zombie, because he is just begging to be hugged! Little did I know that his cuteness had been my demise…No one is safe against this new threat of the highly squeezable and irresistible Sock Zombies!

Sock Zombies have only been available for six months, but they are going quicker than hotcakes! Need a cool toy for your kids or for yourself? Want to give something unique to the zombie-lover in your life? Want to be the cool aunt or uncle in the family that gets your nieces and newphews rad toys? Pick up a Sock Zombie today and you’ll be a hero to all! Resistance is futile against these cuddly undead moppets, so just give in and buy one already, ‘kay?

You can find them online at www.sock-zombies.com, select farmer’s markets in Indiana and various horror conventions. Emily tells us the next sock zombie invasion will hopefully happen at the It’s Alive Zombie Fest in Pennsylvania, where they even have a zombie walk in the very mall where the original Dawn of the Dead was filmed.

Sock Zombies to march on Monroeville Mall! Be ready! Buy your own Sock Zombie before it’s too late!

Visit Sock Zombies’ Official Site

Mr. Buttons (2007)

I’ve always been wary of dolls. Dolls have shiny, empty eyes that seem to follow you, whose positions seem to slightly shift if you leave a room and whose sharp plastic hands like to snatch at your clothes. Dolls seem to lie in wait, waiting for all the lights to go out at night so they can pitter-patter over to your bedside and sink a butcher knife in your back.

You can probably tell that as a child, I wasn’t a big fan of dolls.

Clowns are an even worse phobia of mine…

With this out of the way, you can understand the nervous excitement I felt when I received Steel Web Studios’ newest venture, the short film Mr. Buttons, about a killer clown doll!

The film opens with a black robed Goth girl (C.J. Lassiter) performing a revenge spell against a man (Criston Mitchel) who has spurned her. She cuts off her own finger and wishes nothing but woe against this man, who apparently didn’t tell her that he was married with two young kids before starting their affair. The curse manifests itself in Mr. Buttons, a clown doll, whom she sends to the man’s 6-year-old daughter, Kelly (Alicia Randolph). Mr. Buttons arrives just in time for Kelly’s birthday party, and it isn’t long before the curse takes effect. Every time Kelly wishes for something, Mr. Buttons grants her wish, but always in a twisted and perverse way. When she wishes her parents would stop fighting, Mr. Buttons acquiesces and kills them both. After their violent deaths, Kelly is locked away in a mental institution for 30 years with Mr. Buttons always by her side. When the hospital can’t rationalize all the strange deaths in the place, they release the now grown-up Kelly (Vanessa Mitchell), who returns to her long-estranged brother (Grant Price) to see one of her childhood wishes finally fulfilled.

This low-budget short film surprised me with its above-average quality, creepy story and solid performances. The Mr. Buttons doll alone was enough to give me the heebie jeebies, but the story was there to back it up as well.

Writer and director David Quitmeyer fashions a fast-paced, unsettling film. He wisely avoids showing Mr. Buttons in action (which probably would have looked super cheesy), but instead hints at the unseen doll that wreaks doom. The ending was written extremely well, and certainly made me gasp!

Another thing worth mentioning was the terrifically eerie score by composer Peter J. Gorritz, which sounds like carnival music on a really bad acid trip. The playfully ominous score heightens the atmosphere in creating a tense mood.

The special FX are handled quite well, and while there aren’t that many of them, those that are featured do look realistic. For example, the Goth girl cutting her finger off is cringe-worthy and satisfyingly bloody. The after-effects of Mr. Buttons’ attacks are also shown – Kelly’s parents get sliced and diced with plenty of blood and we get to see a hospital orderly OD on a drug cocktail prepared the extra-special Mr. Buttons way.

Fans of Steel Web Studios beware, though. Mr. Buttons is not the splatterpunk effort that Slaughter Disc was and it doesn’t feature excessive bloodletting or nudity.

All in all, Mr. Buttons is a fun way to spend 20 minutes, especially if you’ve already got clown doll phobias working for you (or against you).

Mr. Buttons will be available on Steel Web Studios' Tales from the Carnal Morgue: Vol. 1 DVD.

Love Object (2003)

Love Object is a dark, twisted and perverse film that abounds with layers of meaning while still managing to be wholly entertaining.

Successful but socially awkward technical writer Kenneth Winslow (Desmond Harrington) just can't connect to people. He writes instruction manuals for a large company and his motto is, "It's easy if you just follow the directions." Alas, in life there are no directions. Isolated and alone, he decides to order a pricey but realistic sex doll, modeled after his newly-appointed assistant, Lisa. The sex doll, Nikki, arrives in a large crate at his apartment. Kenneth soon develops a close attachment to Nikki and starts treating her like a real girlfriend. His relationship with Nikki becomes strained as he and Lisa develop feelings for each other. Soon, he begins to suspect that Nikki is jealous and is trying to get back at him for abandoning her for Lisa. Kenneth's mental state becomes more and more fragile as he believes Nikki is out to get him. Is it all in his head or has Nikki really come alive?

Love Object can be read into for many deeper meanings including issues in relationships, detachment from people and more of a reliance on inanimate objects or possessions, objectification of women, a view on the state of mind of our society, etc., etc. First-time director Robert Parigi covers many levels of meaning in his very engaging horror flick. There is the motif running throughout the film of disease. Kenneth goes to a porn shop a few times and the clerk is horribly disfigured and has a red rash covering his face. The guy who delivers Nikki also has the same ugly red rash as the clerk does. Other people Kenneth comes in contact with who are somehow connected to either Nikki or the perverse lifestyle Nikki represents also have the rash. As Kenneth slowly changes and grows more and more crazy, he also develops a violent red rash on his neck. These small details by Parigi point to something much larger he wanted to make the audience think about.

Don't fret, though, because while it can be viewed on many different levels, this film is also very entertaining and has some great performances. Desmond Harrington does an especially great job as Kenneth, portraying his quickly slipping sanity with great believability. He sure is creepy when talking and *ahem* interacting with Nikki. I also enjoyed watching Melissa Sagemiller play a charming and likable Lisa (she was also the model for Nikki). The film also features Rip Torn as Kenneth's boss and Udo Keir as his landlord who lives next door to Kenneth and hears some very strange things through the wall...

There are many scenes that will make you squirm or look away in disgust, but, be warned, this is not a gory movie. It reminded me of a cross between American Psycho and May; a smart, quirky movie that features a brutal ending.

Order it on Amazon!

Tourist Trap (1979)

Tourist Trap (or as I like to call it, When Mannequins Attack!) is a creepy movie about a group of 20-somethings that get stranded at an old fashioned "tourist trap." This particular tourist trap is a museum that features lots and lots of realistic mannequins, lovingly tended to by the charming Mr. Slausen.

After getting a flat tire on an old highway, Woody heads off to get help, leaving his girlfriend Eileen behind to wait for their friends to catch up. He finds a seemingly abandoned gas station, until he is locked in a room with laughing mannequins. Knives, vases, and other various sharp objects start whizzing by poor Woody, until he is finally shish-kabobed by a steel pipe through his back.

Back at the car, Eileen is working on her tan until her friends Becky, Jerry and Molly pull up in their car. They decide to go look for Woody in Jerry's car, and end up near a tourist spot called Slausen's Lost Oasis. Suddenly the car dies, and while Jerry attempts to fix it, the girls go skinny dipping in a lagoon. Mr. Slausen shows up shotgun in hand, but he is very charming and friendly. Molly is soon smitten with him. Mr. Slausen offers to fix their car if they will come back to his place while he fetches some tools. They agree and soon they are admiring his mannequin museum at his Oasis.

Jerry and Mr. Slausen go back to try and fix the car, but not before Mr. Slausen firmly suggests the girls sit tight. Eileen is creeped out and takes off to go look for Woody. Bad choice, Eileen...she is soon turned into a creepy mannequin by a masked killer.

Back at Slausen's, Becky and Molly worry about Eileen and about Mr. Slausen's reaction when he finds her gone. Sure enough, Mr. Slausen returns and is a little peeved to find Eileen missing. He goes out to look for her, telling the girls that Jerry has taken his truck into town so they are to stay put and wait. Mr. Slausen finds Eileen the Mannequin in his house, but lies to Becky and Molly, saying he couldn't find her. He leaves again, explaining he will go look for Eileen some more.

Becky finds Mr. Slausen's mausoleum of mannequins disturbing, so she convinces Molly to go down to the house with her to look for Eileen. Once there, they think they hear Eileen and Woody in an upstairs bedroom. Becky naturally wants to give them a good scare, but Molly goes back to the museum to wait for Mr. Slausen.

Becky winds up coming face to face with a masked weirdo as he makes his mannequins attack her. The mannequins surround Becky, moving their eyes and mouths, singing in high pitched voices. Becky is knocked out and ends up waking up in the basement. Jerry is also down there, as is a hitchhiker named Tina. They are all tied up, except Tina is a little worse off than Becky or Jerry because she is tied down to a table. Looks like our Masked Mannequin Man is planning on having some fun with her! He arrives in yet another creepy mask and proceeds to pour plaster over Tina's face, explaining to her that when her mouth and nose are covered up and she can no longer breathe, she will panic and her heart will explode. Well, he was right...

People start getting axed by the masked weirdo left and right...will anyone ever escape the Tourist Trap?

You know, I wasn't really into this movie the first time watching it, but thinking about it more and more, it's pretty frickin' sweet. When the mannequins start moving around, it is pretty eerie. Slausen's mask choices are also very creepy. They are completely expressionless but made-up to the nines. This movie has tones of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Friday the 13th and Carrie (the whole moving-objects-with-the-mind angle).

Tourist Trap is a hidden gem that's well worth seeking out!

Order it on Amazon!