Desdemona 6 (2011)

Rev your engines, kiddos, because this short film from director Johnny Priest will blow your lid off. I’m talking about the low-budget Desdemona 6, which takes its inspiration from 70s hot-rod flicks while throwing in some terrifying twists that land it squarely in horror territory. While the film’s gritty grindhouse look gives the film a dirty, scratched up look, it’s definitely the story of the mysterious driver and his pursuit of the couple that kept my eyes glued to the screen for its short 10 minute run-time.

The film is about a couple, Travis (Jason Mac) and Chrissie (Katie Bearden), on the road one night. Travis is driving Chrissie to work in his “baby”, a sleek hot-rod, when they encounter a menacing muscle car that taunts the hot-headed Travis into a drag race. After the young couple becomes stranded on a dark country road six miles outside the town of Desdemona, they find themselves in the fight of their lives while being relentlessly pursued by the demonic car and its mysterious driver (Bruce Rowland).

At different points in the film I was reminded of Christine, Jeepers Creepers and Death Proof, Tarantino’s homage to all grindhouse-era hot-rod flicks. However, the film never felt derivative and continued to keep things fresh and interesting throughout. It featured several surprises that made me jump in my seat and the direction by Johnny Priest was flawless.

I’ve already mentioned how Priest dirtied up the film stock to make it look grindhouse authentic, but he also managed to set the entire film at night. You might think nothing of this, but filmmakers on a limited budget usually don’t have the best track record with night shoots, as without the proper equipment most of the action is lost to the dark. I’ve seen plenty of low-budget films that were ruined just because you couldn’t SEE anything happening on screen if it was set at night. However, Priest overcame this obstacle and the entire short is crystal clear, with the dark night giving it just the right amount of menace without obscuring any of the real action.

The special FX were also very impressive, especially considering the film’s small budget. There is one startling scene (I’m saying as little as I can so I don’t give anything away) that comes out of nowhere and definitely gave me quite a start! It looks pretty dang perfect on-screen, too. And though the “mysterious driver” is (wisely) kept in the shadows, when we do see his scarred up face it is downright chilling! Plus, the driver’s car has quite a personality of its own and becomes like another character in the film.

Speaking of characters, I was also impressed by the performances in the film. Katie Bearden (Chrissie) and Jason Mac (Travis) easily convinced me they were a bickering couple and Bruce Rowland gave a menacing performance as the driver. And, of course, the beautiful hot-rods had personalities all their own, which you don’t need to be a gearhead to appreciate!

I never know what to expect when sitting down to watch an independent film, but I was absolutely stunned at how much fun I had watching Desdemona 6! Desdemona 6 is an impressive short that lovingly replicates the grindhouse feel while jolting the viewer with a terrifying ride down a highway to hell. For the thrill ride of your life, hop into Desdemona 6!

For more information, including upcoming screenings, check out the official site and Facebook page!

Bitch Slap (2009)

Bitch Slap is a straight-forward exploitation flick that emulates the grindhouse flicks of the ‘60s and ‘70s. It pretty much has all the exploitative elements you could ask for…oodles of violence, nudity and sex. But let me get more specific…it’s got girl fights, water fights, tons of boob shots, gratuitous slo-mo, strippers, Kevin Sorbo (in a small role), cat fights, girl-on-girl action, nuns, an Asian schoolgirl with a killer yo-yo, a punk thug with Tourette’s, Mohawks, stolen diamonds, explosions, spies and even Lucy Lawless as Mother Superior. Really, what more could you ask for?!

The premise is simple: three women end up in the middle of the desert to steal a bunch of valuable diamonds from an underworld kingpin. As they struggle to find the exact location of the jewels, they get a few surprise visitors and secrets start being revealed as we get a glimpse into their past to see exactly how they ended up in their current predicament.

Full of non-stop action, Bitch Slap is an enjoyable rollercoaster ride of brutal violence interspersed with sexy slo-mo shots of our three girls, strippers and the like. It is also wickedly funny in parts and really wears its inspirations on its colorful sleeve. It is certainly over the top and outrageous, but if you like that sort of thing you’ll love Bitch Slap!

The acting is equally over the top, but it works in the scope of the film! All of the actresses do a fantastic job and I found myself liking them all. Julia Voth played the seemingly innocent Trixie, Erin Cummings played the leader Hel and America Olivo played the tough Camero. The supporting characters were also equally good.

However, an exploitation film isn’t exactly focused on acting, so let’s talk about the action, shall we? Both kinds of action, the sensual and the explody kind, came fast and furious. If people weren’t getting their asses handed to them or getting blown to bits, then they were gettin’ down. Though some of the special effects were done with obvious green screen work (the whole Vegas scene, among countless others), most of the blood and guts work was excellent! And even when it looks fake it just adds to the over-the-top charm of Bitch Slap! I also liked the use of split screen to show both side of the action at all times. And it looked damn cool, too!

I also appreciated the nice little twist at the end…very well done since I didn’t see it coming!! The narrative structure, as it kept jumping further and further back into the past as the film progressed, kinda annoyed me at first but made sense after a while. Kudos to writers Eric Gruendemann and Rick Jacobson (who also directed) for creating such a fun story and for tying everything up at the end.

If you enjoyed films like Grindhouse and Machete, you will no doubt love Bitch Slap! Check it out today!

Available on Amazon!

Book Review: Let Me Die a Woman by Alan Kelly

Blending ‘50s pulp novel sensibilities with modern potty-mouthed wit and characters pulled from a John Waters film with a cybergoth twist, Let Me Die A Woman is a kick ass debut from Irish author Alan Kelly!

The novel opens with a rather innocuous scarecrow festival in a small town…or so it seems. Before long, the scarecrows set their button eyes on the inhabitants of the small town and massacre everyone in sight. The scarecrows, who are actually beings from another plane, have much more far-reaching plans than slaughtering a whole town, though…

Years later, horror journalist extraordinaire Bunny Flask is fired by the sleazy owner of her beloved Blood Rag Magazine and replaced by rival Alice Fiend. Seething with resentment and seeking revenge, Bunny decides to confront Alice but uncovers a horrific plot to destroy the human race in the process.

Let me Die A Woman is pulp fiction paradise! It is a gritty and gory tale of femme fatales, hellacious heroines, malevolent males and apocalyptic action that really rocked my socks off! It may be a short 109 pages, but every single one of those pages packs a wallop. It is extremely fast-paced, and once I picked it up I read the whole thing in one sitting because I didn’t want to put it down.

Given the skill of writing, it’s hard to imagine LMDAW is author Alan Kelly’s debut novel. His voice is one of a seasoned storyteller and he unfolds the violent and heated plot in such a way that holds you enraptured the entire length of the book. Kelly describes everything so vividly that the novel comes to life in your head and it feels like you are reading/watching an exploitation-style ‘50s B-movie, complete with monsters, aliens, gender-bending characters, chainsaws, strong women, outrageous dialogue and plenty of violence! In homage to exploitation/horror films of the past, Kelly even names several chapters after recognizable films, including Sorry, Wrong Number, Shivers, Female Trouble, Razor Blade Smile and Bad Girls Go to Hell, among others!

The characters are all a lively bunch, their colorful personalities taking cues from real-life horror queens like The Chainsaw Mafia founder Shannon Lark (an obvious inspiration for the chainsaw-wielding BFF of Bunny Flask) and Rue Morgue’s former editor, Jovanka Vuckovic (Alice Fiend’s vivid red hair being a reference to her). Kelly writes them all whip-smart, independent and hell-on-wheels.

Let Me Die A Woman is a no-holds-barred and over-the-top love letter to cult films in all their kitschy glory. With inspirations from grindhouse, exploitation, sci-fi and horror genres Kelly’s debut has a manic energy and originality that seems unrivaled within current genre offerings and comes highly recommended from yours truly.

Visit Pulp Press’ Official Site!

Book Review: Crimson Orgy by Austin Williams

Director Herschell Gordon Lewis and producer David Friedman forever changed the face of cinema in 1963 with their gore-drenched film, Blood Feast. Before then, the exploitation crowd was only familiar with the nudie cuties that graced their movie screens, but Lewis and Friedman tapped into the audience’s bloodlust and ever since Blood Feast reveled in its gruesome carnage-for-carnage’s-sake, the movies have never been the same.

In Crimson Orgy, author Austin Williams explores the seedy and sleazy business of making exploitation movies in the mid-60’s, specifically one notorious snuff film called Crimson Orgy. He tells the tale of Stupendous Pictures, whose owners, producer Gene Hoffman and director Sheldon Meyer (characters inspired by Lewis and Friedman), can’t wait to delve into the gore business with their new gore picture entitled Crimson Orgy. They’ve seen the success of Lewis’ Blood Feast and can’t wait to outgross him, in more ways than one! Only problem is, they have a minuscule budget and an even smaller amount of time to film the gore flick.

They hire a skeleton crew and a cast that includes a boozing leading man, an inexperienced starlet and plenty of small-bit divas who throw a tantrum ever time they need to be covered in blood. With just a week to shoot the feature and a limited supply of film to use, things quickly begin to turn sour. The isolated locale of the shoot, on an empty stretch of Florida coastline, unnerves many of the cast and crew. Not only that, but a power-hungry backwoods cop is keeping a close eye on the production, just hoping for a screw-up so that he can send them all packing back to Miami. Director Meyer is also keeping the lead actress in the dark about the film’s violence and gory set-pieces. Pretty soon, a crew member begins to unravel and disappears with several canisters of exposed film and reports of a big tropical storm off the coast convince the rest of the players that the production is cursed. When real body parts are found on-set, suspicions rise about the intentions of both Hoffman and Meyer. Was their plan all along to pull off a snuff film? Is someone really going to die in Crimson Orgy?

Author Austin Williams delves into the nitty gritty of low budget filmmaking with such a passion that B-movie lovers can’t help but appreciate and love. His story about the fictional Crimson Orgy is immediately engaging (check out the clever intro from a fake book called Ultimate Guide to Horror Movies) and filled with suspense.

Williams tells the tale from the many different perspectives of the cast, crew and assorted locals and they themselves seem straight out of a Herschell Gordon Lewis gore flick! Hidden motivations, agendas and secrets abound in the the colorful cast of characters and this keeps the pace moving steadily along. We are never given quite enough explanation on characters’ backgrounds, but I believe this works in favor of the story, leaving characters’ murky pasts a mystery.

Film buffs like me will go nuts for the description of shooting a low-budget gore film, especially for all the intrigue that goes on behind the scenes. We learn that gallons of fake blood, realistic body parts, blood-curdling screams and a can-do attitude, no matter the price, are what matter in this business. It’s also nice that Williams throws in historical facts about Blood Feast and other players in the grindhouse movie biz at the time. These little touches really make the novel and make you enjoy it all the more!

One small quibble is that, technically, Crimson Orgy isn’t a snuff film. Yes, someone does indeed die (the prologue will tell you that, so I’m not spoiling anything), but the circumstances in which it happens doesn’t quite make it “snuff.” I don’t want to say any more, but I still recommend you check out this fantastic read, despite this small annoyance, because it is time well spent for horror fans, exploitation nuts and film buffs alike.

Available on Amazon!

Grindhouse - "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof" (2007)

Like most of you, I had been expectantly waiting the release of Grindhouse. I finally got to go the other night and as I stepped behind the red curtain and into the theater, the floor sticky with spilled soda, melted candy and Lord knows what else, I couldn’t help but imagine what it must have been like in the golden days of grindhouse. I felt a thrill run through me as I imagined spending my weekends catching back-to-back movies and watching the outrageous trailers and ads that ran with them.

I may not have had grindhouses back in my day, but I’m lucky enough to have two directors, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, who remember the no-holds-barred movies and who want everyone to experience the gritty grindhouse feel. The directors kept with the grindhouse theme and even dirtied up the film prints with scratches and dust so they would look authentic. There are even missing reels throughout both films! Not only do we get two kick-ass movies but we also get faux movie trailers from directors Rob Zombie (Werewolf Women of the SS), Eli Roth (Thanksgiving), Edgar Wright (Don’t) and Robert Rodriguez (Machete).

Grindhouse opens with a trailer for the revenge-flick Machete, starring Danny Trejo as a would-be assassin who is set-up and takes revenge on those who wronged him. We get a whole lotta action, cheesy dialogue and a lotta things blowing up…plus Cheech Marin as a priest! Really, what more could you ask for? There's even talk that it will be made into a full-length movie...stay tuned!

Ratcheting up the excitement level is Rodriguez’s Planet Terror which dazzles and entertains from beginning to end. A secret government experiment goes horribly wrong and a biochemical gas is released that infects people with pus-filled boils that are highly infectious and often times end up exploding. Those infected turn into zombies hungry for…braiiiins! A group of survivors, including Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez), Dr. Dakota Block (Marley Shelton), Sheriff Hague (Michael Biehn) and others must band together to survive the zombie onslaught and the military, who have their own agenda…

Planet Terror is a pure adrenaline rush! The action starts right away and doesn’t let up…There is also some very well-done character development that got me to care about the characters. The gore is great as well, as blood is splashed generously across the screen. The zombie-mutants themselves look grotesque and there are some gross-out scenes involving their pustules erupting onto unsuspecting individuals.

Rose McGowan as Cherry, Freddy Rodriguez as El Wray and Marley Shelton as Dr. Dakota Block really stand out for their stellar performances. McGowan is both sweet ‘n’ sour in her role as Cherry, Rodriguez proves himself to be a true action hero and Shelton just shines. There are some sweet cameos going on as well within the film. Bruce Willis pops up as the commanding military officer, Tom Savini as the sheriff’s deputy, Josh Brolin as Dr. Dakota Block’s evil and violent husband Dr. William Block, as well as Fergie from Black Eyed Peas, Tarantino and others!

From Cherry’s machine-gun leg to El Wray’s gun slinging skills to mutant zombies and delightful guest appearances, Planet Terror doesn’t leave you much time to catch your breath, which is a very good thing.

Immediately following Planet Terror are the fake trailers from Zombie, Wright and Roth. Werewolf Women of the SS by Rob Zombie harkens back to the Nazisploitation days. This was my favorite trailer and the one I most wish would be made into a real movie. Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu? I mean, c'mon! You just can't beat that...Next was Wright's hilarious Don't trailer, which had a very The Legend of Hell House vibe to it and was very tongue-in-cheek with the spoofery that ensued. Last but not least was Roth's Thanksgiving trailer, which started a little weak but redeemed itself with a very brutal cheerleader slaying.

After that highly enjoyable "intermission," Tarantino's Death Proof began. It seems that almost everyone is bitching about the slow pace of this one in comparison to Planet Terror, but I really enjoyed it.

Death Proof tells the tale of Stuntman Mike and his "death proof" stunt car. He likes to stalk and kill pretty young women, whom he picks up at bars. He then proceeds to take them on a joy ride, only at the end, he is the only survivor. It seems that one must sit in the driver's seat to have the full protection of the "death proof" car. He starts with one group of women, headed by local DJ personality Jungle Julia. Tarantino really lets us get up close and personal with the girls as they hang out at a bar all night under the watchful eye of Stuntman Mike. After killing them all with his car, Stuntman Mike moves on to his next group of women...who just happen to have a few stuntwomen of their own. In a spectacular car chase scene, Stuntman Mike learns he's messed with the wrong group of gals...

After the visceral assault of Planet Terror, Death Proof is a nice place to catch your breath. It's heavy on Tarantino's signature dialogue, but that didn't diminish my enjoyment one bit. It just made me appreciate and care for the characters even more. People complain about having to listen to all the "chick talk," but you didn't hear them complain about all the "dick talk" in Tarantino's other films. For example, in Death Proof there is a round table shot much like the one in Reservoir Dogs. It is captured in one consecutive shot with no cuts and shows the women catching up with each other and just talking. It gives great insight into each of their characters and makes them extremely likable. Like Reservoir Dogs, this is the chance to get to know the characters so we care for them later when we are put in peril. It's also a chance for Tarantino to show off his dialogue writing skills. It's amazing how believable his dialogue is and how it varies by character to fit their personality. So, if I have to hear one more person complain about the "chick talk" in this flick, I'm gonna cram my foot so far up...[MISSING REEL]

The acting is Death Proof is equally good as it was in Planet Terror. With the first group of women we get the beautiful Sydney Tamiia Poitier as Jungle Julie along with Vanessa Ferlito as Arlene and Jordan Ladd as Shanna. Rose McGowan is also along for the ride playing Stuntman Mike's first victim. The next group of women include Rosario Dawson as Abernathy, a makeup artist, Mary Elizabeth Winstead as a famous actress, Traci Thoms as stunt car driver Kim and stuntwoman Zoe Bell playing herself. Zoe Bell was, by far, the most phenomenal actress in this film. She is entirely believable and natural in front of the camera (she has been doing stunt work in films for quite some time, so I guess she's used to being in front of the lens!) and you just love her! Kurt Russell is fantastic as Stuntman Mike, managing to be both menacing and "Mr. Nice-Guy" at the same time.

The real star of the film, though, is the amazing car chase at the end of the movie. It will leave you breathless as you watch Zoe Bell hang onto the hood of a car for dear life. There is no CGI or flashy editing going on, either, just two cars ramming each other at 90mph with a woman on the top of one of them. You care about the women so much that the ending, though abrupt, is entirely fitting and extremely satisfying.

I loved both Planet Terror and Death Proof...I don't think I could pick a favorite. The fake trailers in between films were a joy to watch as well. The three hour plus marker didn't even phase me, and I usually get antsy in long movies. It's true what they say, Grindhouse is the most fun you'll have at the movies this year. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend the experience of seeing it on the big screen!

Planet Terror available on Amazon!

Death Proof available on Amazon!

Mad Cowgirl (2006)

 Meat is murder


Mad Cowgirl is a daring and experimental film from Gary Hatanka that challenges perspectives on religion, sex, Mad Cow Disease, red meat and even kung fu.

Therese (Sarah Lassez) is a health inspector that inspects slaughterhouses and meat packing plants for tainted and spoiled meat. She’s had a messy divorce from her ex-husband Charlie (Vic Chao) and is just trying to get on with her life. She enjoys bloody cuts of beef that she heartily eats on a daily basis, almost with orgasmic pleasure, and a kung fu show called “Girl With the Thunderbolt Kick.” She becomes entangled with older and wrinkly televangelist Pastor Dylan (Walter Koenig, of Star Trek fame), but Therese quickly turns obsessive when he won’t see her anymore. It turns out her health is in question and her doctor thinks she may have a brain tumor.

Meanwhile, Therese is also carrying on an incestuous relationship with her brother, Thierry (James Duval). He works in a packing plant and has become dangerously lax on meat guidelines while Therese looks the other way. Mad Cow Disease has come down hard on the industry, though, and Therese begs him to be more careful and dispose of spoiled meat. Thierry tells Therese that he probably gave her some diseased meat and she slowly starts to descend into madness.

Therese has casual sex with a great number of men, but she still is obsessed with Pastor Dylan. She begins going to confession at church, but is terrified to enter the booth which she likens to an executioner’s chamber. Therese begins hearing voices and having hallucinations as the disease attacks her brain.

Finally, she receives a message to kill the Ten Tigers of Kwangtung! She begins working out and training to be just like the Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick so she can kill the bad guys. One by one, she begins killing the Ten Tigers, who have clever little codenames that are subtitled in English and Chinese at the bottom of the screen. Eye-gougings, stabbings, a flying guillotine, and a buzz saw are just some of the tools of the trade Therese uses to kill her opponents. Is Therese really killing people or has she slipped completely into madness?

Man, what a strange but powerful film this is! Images of slobbering cows, rancid meat, cows bloody and sick from the disease, religious iconography, kung fu, slobbering men, bloody murder and the like held me rapt and enthralled through the film. Mad Cowgirl has very strong and unique visuals that are equal parts exploitation, grindhouse, kung fu and horror. Its tone is very socially aware, but writer and director Gregory Hatanaka leaves it wide open for interpretation. The mood ranges from funny to horrifying to repulsive to erotic, many times within the same scene.

There are quirky little bits all throughout this film that add to the surreal and weird atmosphere. For example, many characters speak in different languages but Therese understands them and answers back in English, which in turn they understand. Her doctor appears to be Indian, but speaks to her in a completely different language. Also, her mother is Vietnamese (which Therese obviously isn’t) but speaks French! The music and score throughout the film are a multi-cultural mish-mash of styles as well. In one scene there might be hip hop, in another there might be a big Bollywood musical number, in still another there is mariachi music, and on and on. These little oddities of Therese’s everyday experiences all point to her fragmented psyche…or not. Perhaps Hatanaka was trying to say something else or nothing at all and only wanted the strangeness of these encounters to stand out and to keep the viewer always on their toes.

The actors all do a fine job in the film, especially lead Sarah Lassez who encompasses grace and madness simultaneously. Walter Koenig is wonderfully sleazy as the sinful Pastor Dylan and James Duval as Thierry manages to be both attractive and repulsive at the same time. Come to think of it, most of the characters in the film seem to have dual and conflicting personas. One, they have the persona that they present in public (Pastor Dylan is a pious preacher who tries to help people, for example). Second, they have their private personas that smash or otherwise ignore taboos (Pastor Dylan sins by sleeping with Therese, Thierry has an incestuous relationship with his sister). Conflict, whether within the characters themselves or in their actions, plays a large part in the film, which all the actors portray effortlessly.

Hatanaka has created a very daring and original film with Mad Cowgirl, fusing it all together with an eclectic visual style. Most people will other love or hate it, but it is definitely a film that will get you thinking. Come to think of it, Mad Cowgirl is kinda like your first time…you’re a little nervous beforehand and don’t quite know what to do during, but by the end you’re ready for another ride!

Available on Amazon!