Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Taking its inspiration from backwoods horror films where kids go into the woods, kids get killed by insane/cannibalistic/territorial and/or just plain vengeful hicks, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is a horror comedy that’s a rip-roaring good time! To tell you the truth, I wasn’t expecting much with this spoof, but was pleasantly surprised by just how laugh-out-loud funny it was! And it wasn’t just me…the whole room kept erupting into laughter right along with me!

The film is about West Virginian hillbillies Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) who head to their vacation home, a dilapidated cabin deep in the woods. Heading to the same area is a group of college co-eds for a weekend of partying. However, things go askew for both groups after a series of accidents and miscommunications lead the kids to mistake Tucker and Dale for a pair of backwoods killers.

This was such a raucous comedy, I really can’t believe it hasn’t been picked up for distribution yet! I’m not usually one for dumbed-down spoofs, but this one had a certain charm, originality and tons of hilarious moments. Plus, it wasn’t dumbed-down at all, but actually funny and smart.

Writers Morgan Jurgenson and Eli Craig (who also directed) certainly did a fine job of writing a hilarious script that keeps its tongue firmly in cheek without pandering to the audience. One of my favorite scenes involved Tucker taking a chainsaw to an old log, only to hit an angry hornet’s nest inside. As he flails around with his chainsaw (looking very much like Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre), he spooks the college kids.

I don’t think the film could have been as great without the wonderful performances from Alan Tudyk (of Firefly fame) and Tyler Labine (from the awesome but short-lived Reaper series). They were absolutely hysterical as the clueless but well-meaning rednecks. The rest of the cast did a fine job as well, but Tudyk and Labine really stood out! Their timing and how they played off one another was just comedic perfection!

Besides the great story and acting, I was surprised at how bloody the overall film is – we get gruesome impalements, a body put through the wood-chipper, brains splattered over a windshield and more! The kills are so over-the-top they can become a little ridiculous, but again, the tone of the film saves this from ever becoming an issue.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil is a delightful gem of a movie which unfortunately hasn’t been released yet. This is really a pity, because this is one of the most fun films I’ve seen all year! If you get a chance to see Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, definitely do it as any self-respecting horror fan will no doubt have a grand ol’ time with this movie!

Book Review: Deadcore - Four Hardcore Zombie Novellas

Deadcore is a collection of four zombie novellas edited by Cheryl Mullenax and published by Comet Press. The book contains zombie stories from authors Randy Chandler, David James Keaton, Edward M. Erdelac and Ben Cheetham.

The collection kicks off with “Dead Juju” by Randy Chandler, a novella that immediately sucked me in with its fast pace and gruesome action. It follows a mysterious figure that seems to bring death and destruction wherever he goes while all hell breaks out when the dead won’t stay dead. Chandler weaves different characters’ stories together to create a terrifying tapestry about the end of the world. I loved the many different characters that were featured in this story and the mysterious “eye in the sky” phenomenon that occurs prior to the zombie outbreaks. This was my favorite story in the collection.

“Zee Bee and Bee (aka Propeller Hats for the Dead)” is the next short story in the book. This tale by David James Keaton tells about the cast of colorful characters that work at a zombie-themed bed and breakfast where guests pay to basically role play in their own personal Night of the Living Dead. This story had an interesting concept, but unfortunately I just couldn’t get into the writing style. There is some pretty clever dialogue that horror fans will appreciate, though.

The third novella is “Night of the Jikininki”, a story set in a prison in feudal Japan. When a murdered inmate rises from the dead and starts infecting everyone within the prison walls, a mad monk, a petty thief and a renowned samurai must band together to try to escape the fortified walls. I enjoyed Edward M. Erdelac’s historical accuracy, brutal carnage and interesting characters with this tale.

Ben Cheetham’s “Zombie Safari” is about a hunting trip to kill a new kind of wild game – zombies. However, things start to go wrong for the humans when the zombies become the hunters. “Safari” was a very tense, character-driven story that I enjoyed a great deal. The bleak, isolated setting along with the weary characters reminded me of an old Western where men relied on the guns and tracking to survive.

Deadcore’s four novellas are gruesome, funny, tense, bloody and entertaining as hell. Each of the stories is distinctive and unique, so you never feel you are reading stale material. If you love extreme zombie fiction, you’ll definitely want to check out Deadcore!

Available on Amazon!

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl (2009)

Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is another wacky, over-the-top and ultra-gory film from filmmakers Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Meatball Machine) and Naoyuki Tomomatsu (Zombie Self-Defense Force, Stacy). If you are a fan of zany, weird and off-kilter horror films drenched in cartoonish gore, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl might be right up your alley!

Monami (Yukie Kawamura) is just your basic love-struck high-schooler mooning over the dreamy Mizushima (Takumi Saitô). She professes her love with a chocolate candy she presents him on Valentine’s Day, but when Mizushima bites into it he discovers it is filled with blood…Monami’s blood. Turns out she is really a vampire and wants to turn him so they can spend the rest of their long lives together. However, Mizushima’s current girlfriend Keiko (Eri Otoguro) doesn’t take the news too kindly…but after she confronts Monami she meets a bloody end (but perhaps not in the way you would expect). However, she is soon resurrected by her mad scientist father, who patches her together with body parts from her schoolmates and resurrects her as Frankenstein Girl. Frankenstein Girl then faces off against Vampire Girl in the final battle for Mizushima’s heart.

Ok, how can you go wrong with gore so over-the-top it’s comical, butt-kicking chicks, weird Japanese fashion, melodramatic high school angst, a Dr. Frankenstein mad scientist, vampires, geisha Frankenstein monsters, and some of the most seriously disturbing high school clubs this side of Sweet Valley High? You can’t, that’s how! Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl is a seriously strange film, but that’s why I liked it so much!

The majority of the film deals with the love triangle between Monami, Mizushima and Keiko in the setting of their high school. During this part of the film we meet the main characters’ classmates, including a group of Japanese girls pretending to be black (complete with extreme caricatures/stereotypes like big lips, Afros, gold chains, etc.) who run a black power club and another group of girls who belong to the wrist-cutting club. Both of these clubs and their members were so over-the-top that you just can’t help but laugh! It also pokes fun at stereotypical Japanese schoolgirl and gothic Lolita fashions.  Then there is Keiko’s dad, who at first appears to be a mild-mannered science teacher and assistant principal…however, it is revealed later that he is a cackling mad scientist who is killing off students to try to bring them back to life, Frankenstein-style. He even has a wacky costume complete with traditional Japanese robes, long white wig and Kabuki makeup. Again, another outrageous character you can’t help but laugh at.

The film carries this comical tone throughout, even during the gory fight scenes. The opening scene alone, where Monami battles three Frankenstein monster-like girls, sets the tone for the rest of the film because it is just so gosh darn goofy! Monami strips the skin off the girls’ faces and in the midst of it raining blood she neatly stacks the clacking skulls one on top of the other. The rest of the gore is equally graphic, but still humorous. And you can’t beat the final battle that occurs on top of a fake Eiffel Tower!

My one gripe is that the film focuses too much on the teenage angst and drama (even if it is in a satirical, humorous way) and we don’t get to see the Vampire Girl and Frankenstein Girl battle until the very end. Keiko doesn’t even turn into Frankenstein Girl until nearly the end, which is kind of a let down since this means Frankenstein Girl doesn’t get much screen time. And for being a vampire, Monami doesn’t spill that much blood with her fangs (no attacks on fellow classmates, for example), not to mention that she can walk in the sun (though too much exposure makes her woozy).

Despite these quibbles, I had a very fun time with Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl. While it is not as shocking as other extreme Asian films, its silliness definitely won me over. And despite its ridiculous nature, the film spills quite a bit of grue. If you are a fan of bizarre and outlandish cinema, I highly encourage you to check out Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl!

Available from Amazon

Night of the Punks (2010)

Small town punk rockers The Brain Deads have their first out of town gig. But there are a few problems: The venue is totally deserted, the promoter is a creep, their bass player has gone missing, and the only kids in the audience are bloodthirsty monsters from hell. It’s gonna take a lot more than a few power chords and teenage angst to survive this night.

Night of the Punks is a sweet little slice of short film heaven packed full of gore, goo and groovy tunes! This is one of the most fun short films I’ve seen recently and it is a really fun throwback to films like Return of the Living Dead and Night of the Demons. It has such a manic, gleeful tone and perfectly balances horror and comedy. With a run-time under 20 minutes, the only flaw of this film is that it is not feature-length, because I would have loved to see the cast of lovable losers face off against more demons while trading witty lines.

Everything about this film was enjoyable, from the energetic punk soundtrack to the colorful characters to the direction to the gory effects to the overall high production value!! Director Dan Riesser (who also produced, edited and co-wrote the film) has created an instant cult classic with Night of the Punks. His direction really brought the story, written by himself and Mike L. Kinshella (who plays the lead singer “Spike” in the short and in real life is the singer for the horror punk band Murderland), to raucous life.

The cast also does a wonderful job with their characters and there wasn’t a bad performance in the bunch! I especially enjoyed Nick Mundy, who plays “Hooch”, the drummer, Luke Edwards as “Kenny” the guitarist and our underdog hero, and Aubrey Wood, who plays the band’s merch girl “Sarah”. Everyone else was wonderful as well, from the sleazy promoter played by Dominic Deleo to the band’s lead singer (Mike L. Kinshella) and bassist (John Bobek) to the actors that portrayed the gooey demons.

The gore displayed was also impressive, with the special effects and makeup design being done by Dizzworks Designs. You get your usual blood and guts, but there is also a gruesome face peel that was extremely well done! I also liked the demons’ makeup design, which makes them look like they’ve got a gangrenous skin condition. And their gooey green bodily fluids were pretty icky as well (I mean that as a complement, ya hear?).

Plus, the script is peppered with hilarious lines riffing on everything from the music industry to horror. Quips come fast and furious, and it’s worth a re-watch just to chuckle over the hilarious one-liners, such as:

Hooch: How do you stop a f*cking demon?

Sarah: I dunno Hooch, you’re the one who listens to Misfits!

Night of the Punks is an ode to ‘80s horror films filled with musical mayhem, demonic punks, gooey gore, colorful dialogue – all happening at a fast and furious pace. If there is one short film you see this year, make it Night of the Punks!

P.S. Word on the street is that the filmmakers are attempting to make a feature-length version of this film. My fingers are crossed that this happens!

Check out the film’s official site!

The Horde (2010)

The Horde (aka La Horde in its native French), which was released on DVD last week, has been receiving a lot of press lately, both favorable and unfavorable. It seems that horror fans are split on this film – either they hated it with a passion or named it as one of their “best of” picks for 2010. Horror films that split the horror community right down the middle always intrigue me. It really makes me marvel at how people’s perspectives can be so different – one person may have called it the best zombie movie of 2010, but another said it was the worst POS he had ever seen. Surely everyone’s opinion is different, but films that cause such a wide divide in the horror community are even more interesting to me. So, of course I had to see The Horde to decide for myself whether it was a bloody good time or just a waste of time.

The Horde is about a group of vigilante cops that decide to take revenge on a group of gangsters that killed a fellow police officer. They storm the gang’s decrepit headquarters, housed inside a ghetto apartment building, but soon discover they are out-manned and out-gunned by the ruthless thugs. As the gang holds them hostage, a whole new dilemma presents itself as masses of fast-moving zombies start amassing outside the building. Now the remaining cops and gang members must work together to escape the hungry hordes of undead.

The Horde will no doubt delight gorehounds with its bloody set-pieces, but it also includes some timely social commentary on race, class, war, loyalty, etc. that will please more cerebral horror fans. As to the big question – whether I loved or hated the film – truth be told The Horde left me lukewarm. On the one hand I loved all the bloody action that exploded on the screen as well as the social commentary, but on the other hand I felt like I had already seen everything the film had to offer in other, perhaps better, zombie movies. After a tense and promising first act the second and third acts were a bit of a let-down. No matter how much blood and grue were tossed at the screen, no matter how many super-fast, super-strong zombies were mowed down by guns, hacked apart by machete or blown apart with grenades I just couldn’t seem to get into the latter part of the film. Maybe I’m just being a jaded horror fan, but it didn’t feel like enough creativity or originality had gone into The Horde, thus making it seem like any other zombie movie.

People might get upset over the “fast zombie” issue, but I thought it actually made the zombies even more frightening. The zombie makeup was also superb, making the zombies look even fiercer. Another complaint has been about the lack of an explanation regarding the zombie outbreak (the only thing we get is a newscast about an “epidemic” and a military safe zone that survivors should try to get to), but I actually appreciated how they kept the action focused on the building’s survivors and didn’t try expand the action to beyond the apartment building’s walls. The lack of explanation kept the action frenetic and immediate (though some of the action did get bogged down by pacing issues). Another part of the story I enjoyed were the ulterior motives of all the characters and how everyone was ultimately looking out for #1 (with a few exceptions). The relationship between two Nigerian brothers was the most intriguing, but I felt that the focus on the bloody action overshadowed the complex relationships in the end. The ending of the film, while not surprising, was satisfying in its somberness.

Though The Horde had its issues, it certainly didn’t qualify it for “worst of” status. There were plenty other horror flicks to claim that title this year. However, it also wasn’t creative enough to warrant it a “best of” nod either, at least not in my book. If you are looking for a gory zombie flick and can overlook the film’s shortcomings discussed above, then by all means check out The Horde. It’s not a perfect horror film, but it’s a pretty good time for what it is.

Buy it on Amazon!

Brain Dead (2010)

Sometimes you just want to shut your brain off, grab a few beers and have a few laughs with some buddies…and that’s where a flick like Brain Dead comes in. I’ve been anticipating Brain Dead ever since I heard Kevin Tenney (Night of the Demons) was attached. However, when I saw the trailer it looked pretty bad, so I put off watching it until now. Big mistake, because I actually had a great time with this low-budget flick!

A small meteor falls to Earth and lands smack dab in the middle of a fisherman’s head in Hicksville, USA. However, inside the meteor is an alien parasite, which looks a lot like a black slug, and it immediately takes over the fisherman’s body and goes in search of brains. The invasion has begun!

Nearby, a bunch of different people (two convicts on the run, two lost hikers, a televangelist and his sweet little follower, etc.) all converge on an abandoned cabin in a convenient plot twist (hey, most movies have ‘em). Their personalities clash, but soon they find themselves banding together to fight the alien/zombie-hybrid threat.

Before I get started with this review, you’ll note the alien slug isn’t anything new – we’ve seen it in films like Night of the Creeps and Slither. I noted this too as the film started, but really, it didn’t make a lick of difference because I still enjoyed the flick! Yes, the plot may be simple and it may have been done before, but it is all in the execution, which Tenney pulls off brilliantly.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled review…

If I had to pick one word to describe Brain Dead, it would be fun…or maybe bloody…or boobilicious…is bloodyboobiliciousfun a word? Well, it should be, because that’s exactly what Brain Dead is! It has over the top gore, tons of lady bumps for the fellas and plenty of rip-roaring lines (Character 1: “I’ve been shot!” Character 2: “Is it bad?” Character 2: “Have you ever been shot when it was good??”).

The characters, though plenty are disposable, are all pretty likable or at least interesting. I’m glad the film didn’t stick with the formula of horny teens in the woods, because the varied characters make things much more interesting. Plus, characters you assume would make it to the end actually become alien fodder, so you are kept on your toes! Thanks to writer Dale Gelineau for keeping things interesting!

The film also keeps its tongue firmly in cheek and doesn’t mind winking at the camera. The fun banter between characters and the over-the-top gore means the film never takes itself so seriously and neither should you!

Speaking of the gore, it is the star of the show. People are split in half, brains get ripped out, heads get blown off and the squirmy alien slugs get busy invading their hosts’ bodies. For a low-budget flick, the effects (with the exception of a few shoddy CGI shots) are pretty impressive.

Brain Dead is one heck of a fun movie. Don’t let the trailer fool you, for the actual film is an enjoyable way to unwind after a long day. Just grab some brews, grab some friends and get ready for plenty of boobs, blood and alien slime.

Available from Amazon!

Walking Distance (2010)

Ever since I first saw Mel House’s Closet Space a few years ago, I’ve eagerly anticipated his next project. Though Closet Space had its flaws, its story was engaging and despite its low budget it had rather impressive special FX. The unique story and effects work made Closet Space a memorable viewing experience and really made me sit up and take notice of “Texas Blood” filmmaker Mel House.

Now, a couple years later, House has completed Walking Distance, a film I’ve been eagerly anticipating since I first heard about it. Like Closet Space, House has written and directed the film, as well as picking up a slew of other duties (producing, editing, etc. – even making a cameo in the film). Would House be as successful with Walking Distance as he was with Closet Space? Read on to find out!

The plot to Walking Distance is very complex and so ambitious it’s hard to describe in detail without taking up a few pages. So, I’ll just give you the official synopsis, found on the Walking Distance website:

“An idyllic, small, self-sufficient community. On the surface, it seems like the perfect neighborhood. Everything you could possibly need is within walking distance. But…the pastoral exterior conceals a dark past and an even darker secret. As a group of individuals – each with their own ties and agendas with the town and each other-converges on the enclave, strange things begin to happen. Very strange things. Strange enough to test – and then break – the very fabric of reality itself.

Walking Distance really shows Mel House’s growth as a filmmaker. Technically, it looks absolutely fantastic. It still has a slightly low-budget look, but it’s much slicker and professional-looking than Closet Space. It also has a much larger cast with recognizable names (Adrienne King, Debbie Rochon, Reggie Bannister, Shannon Lark, Peyton Wetzel, Katie Featherston) and a more complex storyline.

This complex storyline is the film’s one big flaw. House tries to cram so many different backstories, so much character development, so many ideas into the nearly two-hour-long film that I felt a bit overwhelmed. This is a commendable flaw, however. I’d much rather a film attempt more character and story development than none at all! Still, there were so many ideas crammed into Walking Distance that you don’t really get a chance to take a breath, so to speak. I feel like some of the characters didn’t have any real purpose (the activists, for example), because towards they end they just ended up dying anyway. And the multitude of characters robbed me a chance of really rooting for anyone.

Despite the film being overcrowded with ideas, overall it was a positive experience. The acting was quite good from all involved and it was a pleasure seeing familiar faces! For example, we get Reggie Bannister as a pedophile, Adrienne King as an executive for an evil corporation, Debbie Rochon as an abusive mother, Shannon Lark as an activist against the evil corporation and even Katie Featherston (Paranormal Activity) as the lead’s girlfriend. Speaking of the lead, Denton Blane Everett did a fantastic job in his role of Cole Gray. In fact, I can’t really say there was one bad actor in the large cast, quite an achievement for a low-budget film!

Also impressive were the special FX, again handled by Marcus Koch of Oddtopsy FX. There are liquefied remains, people on fire, people melting into each other – pretty much the stuff of nightmares! And it all looks fantastic. My favorite scene is one in which the characters of  are sitting naked in a bathtub full of blood and their skin is sticking and melting together. Very impressive and freaky stuff here! Not to mention the main monsters in the film, who are people that look like they’ve been to Hell and back, complete with black, charred skin that is still on fire in parts. These mysterious entities appear and disappear, leaving a trail of liquefied bodies (or in some cases, no bodies) in their wake. These creatures look very creepy and when their existence is explained, it all makes sense!

Lastly, we have the fantastic story. Though it is crammed full of ideas, making it beneficial to watch the film more than once to fully absorb them all, the story is extremely unique. I love the different avenues of horror Mel House likes to explore and Walking Distance is no different. This is definitely an intelligent horror film and the kind of quality film that horror fans deserve!

Walking Distance is a huge step for indie filmmaker Mel House…it shows his amazing growth as a filmmaker and reaffirms my belief that he is definitely one of the top indie filmmakers to watch!

Walking Distance is making the festival rounds right now, so for more info on screenings and its DVD release, please visit its Official Site!

Sutures (2009)

A battered woman stumbles out of the wilderness and is admitted into the hospital…once she has been treated Detective Zane (Jason London) visits her to ask about her ordeal. The young woman, named Sienna (Allison Lange), recounts how she and her pre-med friends headed up to an isolated castle for some rest and relaxation. However, a mysterious man in black followed them, and one by one they were kidnapped and taken to a dank underground “hospital” where crazed Doctor Hopkins (Andrew Prine) utilized his new “patients” for experiments as well as harvesting their organs for the black market. However he and his staff treated them, one by one they ended up dead…except for Sienna, who happened to escape.

As Sienna recounts her tale to the Detective, she tells him more about the man in black, whose name was Alexander Tatum (Carlos Lauchu). Alexander should have been a renowned surgeon, but a tragic past and a daughter diagnosed with a rare disease lead him to help Doctor Hopkins in exchange for a possible cure for his sick daughter.

Will Detective Zane get to the bottom of the killings? Will Alexander come after Sienna now that she’s escaped?

Yes, this is another kids-getting-kidnapped-for-their-organs movie like a ton of other “torture porn” flicks out there. And, in my opinion, it’s one of the most boring. I was expecting some nicely done gore and a familiar but entertaining story…however I didn’t really get anything I was hoping for. The movie never really “grabbed” me and I was bored from the first couple of scenes all the way to the end. You don’t know how many times my finger was itching for the fast-forward button!

However, even though I didn’t like the film, let me rattle off some technical strengths it had…First off, it was competently shot thanks to director Tammi Sutton. I thought the lighting was great and the scenes in the underground black market “hospital” were very atmospheric. The acting was also pretty decent; I especially liked the performances from Allison Lange as survivor girl Sienna and Carlos Lauchu as the dark and mysterious Alexander.

These few strengths, however, were not enough to make Sutures a good or enjoyable film. I’ve read positive reviews of the film, all of which left me scratching my head. Did we watch the same film? The film started somewhat strongly enough once it got past the boring bits of showing Sienna and Detective Zane in the hospital. The group of pre-med students was typical, but at least the characters had distinct personalities. Things started getting rocky when attention was averted to Alexander. At first he was an intriguing and mysterious presence, but that mysteriousness was all stripped bare as soon as he killed a gas station attendant. By that time, too much had been shown of the killer and my interest in him waned.

Then, somehow Alexander became like a ninja and was able to infiltrate the castle and soundlessly kidnap the kids one by one. This just seemed implausible to me and was pretty groan-worthy. The action then moved to the underground hospital and started to feel awfully like Hostel. Except that instead of people paying to torture youths, Doctor Hopkins had set up a kind of underground medical school. He had the victims pumped full of exotic diseases and gave them fatal wounds, then challenged his med students to keep them stable. Or he just ripped their organs and breast implants out to sell on the black market. An interesting concept, but it was never developed to its potential. Plus, this storyline diverted attention from the much more interesting Alexander (maybe by “interesting” I just mean hot, ok!), who was demoted from lead killer to the Doctor’s lackey.

With all these intersecting storylines things got convoluted pretty fast. There’s the story of Detective Zane trying to get answers from Sienna, then Alexander’s tragic past flashbacks, then the Doctor’s black market hospital and Sienna’s survival of the hospital. It just tries for too much and while the twist ending tries to tie up loose ends, it just fails. The ending might come as a surprise, but that’s only because it is so ludicrous.

Making things even more confusing was the editing, which jumps from past to present randomly and with little explanation. Look, I don’t need my hand held when watching a film, but the jumpy editing made things hard to follow and the film really should have been more streamlined.

Plus, who the F cast the kids who are supposed to be some of the characters as children in flashbacks?? Did no one notice they were completely different races than the adult characters? It’s called common sense and continuity, people, and the filmmakers failed on both accounts!

All of these problems may have been forgiven had there been any memorable bloodshed in the film, but the gore is all pretty typical. Well-done, but uninteresting. People who have been infected with a disease spew up black bile, limbs are hacked off, organs and implants are cut out, people are shot and so on, but nothing that really stood out to me. Perhaps I’m just a jaded horror viewer, but none of the gore in Sutures grabbed me.

Sutures is a forgettable film that lacks a cohesive narrative and an engaging story. It’s poorly put together and not even the gore scenes are memorable. To me, it was a very bland horror flick with few redeeming qualities. If watching horror flicks about organ harvesting rings is your thing, then by all means have at it. However, if you like your horror original, scary and gruesome, Sutures is not a good match. My body definitely rejected it (nyuck, nyuck!).

Available from Amazon!

Bitch Slap (2009)

Bitch Slap is a straight-forward exploitation flick that emulates the grindhouse flicks of the ‘60s and ‘70s. It pretty much has all the exploitative elements you could ask for…oodles of violence, nudity and sex. But let me get more specific…it’s got girl fights, water fights, tons of boob shots, gratuitous slo-mo, strippers, Kevin Sorbo (in a small role), cat fights, girl-on-girl action, nuns, an Asian schoolgirl with a killer yo-yo, a punk thug with Tourette’s, Mohawks, stolen diamonds, explosions, spies and even Lucy Lawless as Mother Superior. Really, what more could you ask for?!

The premise is simple: three women end up in the middle of the desert to steal a bunch of valuable diamonds from an underworld kingpin. As they struggle to find the exact location of the jewels, they get a few surprise visitors and secrets start being revealed as we get a glimpse into their past to see exactly how they ended up in their current predicament.

Full of non-stop action, Bitch Slap is an enjoyable rollercoaster ride of brutal violence interspersed with sexy slo-mo shots of our three girls, strippers and the like. It is also wickedly funny in parts and really wears its inspirations on its colorful sleeve. It is certainly over the top and outrageous, but if you like that sort of thing you’ll love Bitch Slap!

The acting is equally over the top, but it works in the scope of the film! All of the actresses do a fantastic job and I found myself liking them all. Julia Voth played the seemingly innocent Trixie, Erin Cummings played the leader Hel and America Olivo played the tough Camero. The supporting characters were also equally good.

However, an exploitation film isn’t exactly focused on acting, so let’s talk about the action, shall we? Both kinds of action, the sensual and the explody kind, came fast and furious. If people weren’t getting their asses handed to them or getting blown to bits, then they were gettin’ down. Though some of the special effects were done with obvious green screen work (the whole Vegas scene, among countless others), most of the blood and guts work was excellent! And even when it looks fake it just adds to the over-the-top charm of Bitch Slap! I also liked the use of split screen to show both side of the action at all times. And it looked damn cool, too!

I also appreciated the nice little twist at the end…very well done since I didn’t see it coming!! The narrative structure, as it kept jumping further and further back into the past as the film progressed, kinda annoyed me at first but made sense after a while. Kudos to writers Eric Gruendemann and Rick Jacobson (who also directed) for creating such a fun story and for tying everything up at the end.

If you enjoyed films like Grindhouse and Machete, you will no doubt love Bitch Slap! Check it out today!

Available on Amazon!

Tormented (2009)

This is a pretty fun “teen scream” type of flick from the U.K. that was pretty entertaining. It’s about a high schooler who is mercilessly picked on by the popular clique until he commits suicide, but returns to pick off his classmates one by bloody one. The film starts with the overall “good girl” and class president-type Justine (Tuppence Middleton) giving the eulogy at Darren Mullet’s (Calvin Dean) funeral. However, she can’t even remember who he was. Soon after, popular dude Alexis (Dimitri Leonidas) asks Justine out and she quickly falls in with the popular clique, who used to harass Darren endlessly. Before long, students start dying grisly deaths and it appears that Darren Mullet has returned from the grave for revenge against those who bullied him.

Tormented has entertaining characters, grisly deaths, ocular horror, a nice revenge story and a surprising ending! It also looks slick and polished and there is a fair assortment of characters (the popular kids, the nerds, the goths, etc.). The tense relationships between cliques are nothing new, but Tormented keeps things interesting with witty dialogue and colorful characters. Even though the characters seem to be stereotypical, writer Stephen Prentice gives each of the characters a distinctive voice and keeps things fun and light.

Offsetting the laughs is the gore…and I gotta say that there are some pretty inventive deaths here! There is plenty of spatter and a high body count in Tormented, and my favorite, most squirm-worthy death scene in one involving ocular horror! Ouch!

The cast all does a fantastic job and director Jon Wright really brings out the best in every single one of them. Wright also gives us a very pretty, very visually stimulating film. Tormented looks great and has that slick look, however it’s not so slick that it detracts from the actual story.

I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed Tormented. It’s a fun flick that I think most horror fans will enjoy. Check out this British film if you get the chance!

Available from Amazon!

Boo (2005)

For years I thought I had already seen this flick, but I guess I just got it mixed up with other haunted asylum movies. I expected the film to suck, but surprisingly it was pretty entertaining. Despite the fact that it treads familiar ground, Boo’s writer/director Anthony C. Ferrante mixes things up with various characters, a chilling setting and plenty of spilled blood.

The film opens on Halloween night, where four friends decide to break into a supposedly haunted abandoned mental hospital. Meanwhile, a brother of a girl who disappeared a week ago seeks the help of a cop and they also enter the mental hospital. Once inside, the evil spirit of the asylum, a patient named Jacob (M. Steven Felty), won’t allow the new inhabitants to leave…alive. He proceeds to kill and then possess the intruders one by one…can anyone escape alive?

First off, I love movies set during Halloween! During the first few scenes, Boo has a couple of festive shots including pumpkins, scarecrows and a girl carving a pumpkin. The film keeps up the spooky spirit when characters enter the haunted asylum. I really thought that the decay and shadowy corners gave the asylum a life all its own and it was nice to see a setting used to its full potential.

Surprisingly, this film also had a lot of bloody set pieces! I was quite impressed with the makeup and special FX, especially since this was an independent production. Can you say exploding possessed corpses? That got your attention, didn’t it?!

However, despite the film’s strong first hour, the conclusion kinda tries to pack too much in and ends up backfiring on itself. There was just too much exposition on the background of Jacob (and a nurse, played by Dee Wallace Stone) and too many dumb character decisions. Until the ending, the film had great pacing, but the last 30 or so minutes just get bogged down with too much information. Another negative is that the acting is, at times, kinda iffy.

Despite the negatives, Boo was still a nice surprise and had a pretty engaging story. Give it a rental this Halloween season!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Pay Phone by Brandon Ford

In Pay Phone, Brandon Ford’s (author of Splattered Beauty) newest novel, charming serial killer Jake stalks victims from his tenement, calling a pay phone he can see from his isolated apartment and luring victims up where they meet their grisly deaths. Jake may be a charismatic and handsome young man, but he is haunted and tormented by the voice of a mysterious woman named Susan.

One morning Jake spies a very special victim from his perch…one who looks almost exactly like Susan. Amazingly, she answers “his” pay phone and the two strike up a conversation. Jake learns her name is Chelsea and she is a struggling actress trying to make it in the big city. Jake thinks this one is different and that she may be able to stop him from his murderous ways, but Susan’s voice whispering in his head tells him different.

Pay Phone is a quick, easy and suspenseful read from indie author Brandon Ford. The characters, from the twisted Jake to innocent Chelsea to greasy landlord Ackley to Chelsea’s bitchy roommate Haley, are all fleshed out and given ample background, though this isn’t always necessary. For example, there is a sub-plot about Haley trying to sleep her way to the top of her company that doesn’t quite fit. Though Ford goes to great lengths to describe her anguish, her chunk of the story seems unjustified considering her abrupt leave of the story. However, it’s not like Haley’s subplot took anything away from the meat of Pay Phone, and her feelings of isolation, frustration and disappointment mirrored all of the other characters’ feelings and fit the tone of the book.

I also enjoyed all of the shocking and perverse revelations about Jake, his relationship with Susan and the grisly way he dispatches of victims. There are some very gory, explicit descriptions throughout the book, including necrophilia, which are sure to satisfy gorehounds and extreme fiction readers alike!

The pacing of the novel is quick, and Ford has the ability to suck you into the story and make you want to keep reading all the way through. The character of Jake is oddly likable, despite all the horrific things he does, and you just don’t want to stop reading about this psycho. Though there are some instances in the plot that aren’t entirely believable (it’s very convenient that Chelsea decides to pick up the pay phone – and who in their right mind would actually pick up a germ-infested pay phone? Ick!), but because of the breezy nature of the novel I was able to overlook the inconsistencies of the plot and just have fun.

If you are looking for a disturbing but quick horror read this summer, look no further than Brandon Ford’s Pay Phone…just don’t pick up if you ever hear a pay phone ringing; you never know who is on the other end!

Available from Amazon!

Blades (1989)

How did this little Troma movie pass under my radar for so many years? I mean, killer lawnmowers tend to attract attention but I don’t recall ever hearing about Blades, which, while it sounds like an ice skating movie is actually about a killer machine mowing down golfers at the Tall Grass Country Club.

When I stumbled upon this movie in my Netflix “watch instantly” queue, I just couldn’t pass it up! How could I resist a movie whose tagline is: “Golf – A Game of Hooks, Slices and … Slaughter”? Well, I couldn’t resist and settled in to watch this wacky and entertaining B-movie.

A series of gruesome murders is taking place at the prestigious Tall Grass Country Club. Golfers are being dismembered left and right, but with a live televised golf tournament coming up the owner refuses to shut the place down. Resident golf pros Roy (Robert North) and Kelly (Victoria Scott) set out to stop the murders, but are shocked to find that the culprit is an evil lawnmower out for blood. Can the pair of golf pros stop the killer machine before it mows down anymore unsuspecting golfers?

Blades is certainly not the perfect B-movie; for a Troma film it feels pretty restrained and lacks the outrageousness of most of their films. It also tends to drag in some places and the finale feels a bit stretched out. For a satire/parody it doesn’t quite go far enough and the laughs are far and in between (though I really liked the special ops caddies). However, I found myself enjoying the zany film, with its crazy ‘80s country club attire (think Lacoste polos, pastel- or neon-colored visors and high-waisted jeans…oh wait, I guess golf fashion really hasn’t changed!), random humor and its flesh-hungry killer machine (that looked more of like a combine rather than a lawnmower).

Even the two leads didn’t bug me (though they were a little bland) and Robert North and Victoria Scott did a good job in their roles as the resident golf pros Roy and Kelly. The rest of the cast was pretty hammy (intentionally, as this is supposed to be a parody of slasher flicks) and served their roles well (I especially liked William Towner as the country club owner Norman Osgood – “It’s on TV!!”).

Blades even has a sort of Caddyshack-like feel to some of their humorous scenes, and I half expected Bill Murray to pop up to defend his golf course against the ravages of a rogue lawnmower. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “Caddyshack for horror lovers”, as I’m sure some reviewers have, but with the golf course setting and its zany humor it’s hard not to make the comparison. In reality, director Thomas R. Rondinella intended it to be a Jaws spoof, replacing the ocean with a golf course and the shark with a lawnmower. Yes, it’s pretty silly but it is also pretty entertaining as well! I especially liked the POV shots of the lawnmower stalking its victims through the grass and the fact that the leads got trapped on a broken-down van down by the river in the middle of the course by the lawnmower just like the people were trapped on a sinking boat at the end of Jaws.

Still, I felt the comedy in Blades was a little too restrained. With that you’d think they’d amp up the splatter, but besides a few shredded legs and various bloody body parts strewn about the golf course there’s hardly any gore in the film. Even a scene where a young caddy gets “eaten” and large sprays of blood arc out of the woods doesn’t satisfy because the blood looks so fake.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance on a film, and while Blades certainly isn’t a Tromasterpiece it still managed to entertain me. If you like your films a little bit silly and can appreciate the humor in a bunch of golfers running for their lives from a killer lawnmower, do yourself a favor and check out Blades.

Available (only on VHS) from Amazon!

Book Review: Jenny's Dance by Bruce Kaplan

Jenny’s Dance was originally published in Australia in 1989, but after the small publisher went belly up the book went out of print. Twenty years later author Bruce Kaplan made a few small tweaks and decided to re-release the book himself in 2009.

Of course if you ask me, the book needs A LOT more editing despite its fascinating story…

After a traumatizing incident, journalist Michael Baird’s therapist recommends he take a nice long vacation. Michael heads to the sleepy resort town of Koala Bay, but it turns out things aren’t quite so quiet there. A violent series of murders is being covered up by the local authorities, murders which just might involve some young children with high I.Q.’s. Though Michael has been warned not to get involved or cause himself any undue stress, his journalistic instincts tell him otherwise and he is soon in the thick of it. Can Michael find out who or what is killing the residents of Koala Bay before either the authorities or the killer(s) kill him first?

Jenny’s Dance has an intriguing sci-fi/horror storyline, but unfortunately tends to get bogged down by sloppy grammatical and punctuation errors and slim character development.

First off, let’s get the obvious out of the way – apparently author Bruce Kaplan has never heard of punctuation or it doesn’t exist in Australia, because he uses it as little as possible. And by “as little as possible” I mean it is usually just used at the end of sentences, if you’re lucky. There are no quotation marks when dialogue is used, there are no apostrophes – neither to mark possession nor to mark the omission of letters (like “shouldn’t” for “should not”), there are no commas to mark pauses in sentences – pretty much the only punctuation that is used is the period at the end of sentences. I understand the creative omission of punctuation in something like poetry, but in a novel it’s kinda vital, doncha think? I had a hard time getting into the book (or taking it seriously) because of the heinous misuse (no use?) of punctuation. And the author even had a second time to fix all this nonsense since this was his second time releasing the book!!

Secondly, the characters all feel and act like stereotypical cardboard cut-outs (with about that much personality). The hero of the novel has a tragic past, but overcomes it to solve the case and win the girl…yada yada yada. There are the typical crooked cops and authorities, the “creepy” kids (who aren’t all that fleshed out and not so creepy) and the underdeveloped female characters. The female characters are probably the flimsiest, and exist in the book to only play mothers or love interests. Psh…I could go on a rant about this alone, but this book has so many other problems that I’ll refrain. Just know that all of the characters are stereotypical and aren’t that well fleshed out, making the reader not care that much about them. Also, things happen to the characters that just seem too convenient. Michael falls in love with a local school teacher awfully fast (their relationship seemed a bit forced and contrived) and he always happens to stumble upon bodies, among other things. At times, even the dialogue and interactions between people in the book seems off and a little stilted.

However, I will say that the storyline was intriguing and was the only thing that kept me reading. Despite the poor use of punctuation and the cardboard characters the idea behind the book was unique and interesting. I liked how Kaplan kept me guessing as to who or what was doing the killing and I especially liked entertaining the fact that it could be kids sucking the brains out of victims. I also thought the final explanation was satisfying and definitely not something you read every day. Though in the end there is a sci-fi twist, I still enjoyed the horror of the story (even though I had to sit through the horror of the formatting).

If you can stomach sacrificing proper punctuation, grammar and decent characters for a cool story,  you may want to check out Jenny’s Dance. The title doesn’t really do the book any favors, nor is it really relevant to the plot, but despite its flaws the actual story isn’t half bad. Just be prepared to slog through a messy manuscript to get to the gem of the story!

Available on Amazon!

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2010)

It’s never a good sign when a director quits a production half-way through, which is exactly what happened with Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. Director Ti West (The House of the Devil, The Roost) just didn’t agree with the direction the studios wanted to take the film, so he bailed on the production. He was never replaced and the film was completed without a director. Usually, this spells disaster for a film, but Cabin Fever 2 still managed to be surprisingly entertaining!

This silly and fun sequel bears no resemblance to Eli Roth’s great Cabin Fever (which, for the record, I love!). First off, instead of an isolated cabin the location has been moved to a crowded high school. Secondly, the tone is totally different. Gone is the tension and suspense from Roth’s flick as it’s replaced with funny gross-out gags and outrageous gore. In fact, it helps to think of this sequel as a whole different story, because besides the flesh-eating virus it really doesn’t feel or look like the original!

The film picks up right where Cabin Fever left off – Rider Strong’s character has escaped the cabin in the woods only to realize he still has a very short shelf life. Meanwhile, the contaminated water containing the flesh-eating virus is bottled in a plant and shipped off to the local high school, which is gearing up for their prom. The prom ends up being ground zero for a whole new epidemic as the teens meet all kinds of nasty fates while the military quarantines the whole school. Can anyone make it out alive?

While I expected this sequel to be downright awful, I was pleasantly surprised by its energy, quirkiness and gore factor! If you like gross-out gore shocks, you are going to love Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever! There is copious vomiting along with buckets of blood, sores, pus, infected private parts and lots of ooey gooey ickiness! The action is completely over-the-top and every few minutes I found myself saying “ewwwwww” or “grossssssssssss”!! It’s not easy to gross me out but this film definitely did the trick!

I also enjoyed seeing the familiar faces of Giuseppe Andrews as party-hardy Sheriff Winston and the brief appearance from Rider Strong, both from the original! Other recognizable faces included Marc Senter from The Lost and Noah Segan from Deadgirl. The characters weren’t too terribly annoying, and I was actually rooting for the lead characters!

It’s too bad Ti West walked away from this film, because it’s buckets of mindless fun! It may not resemble the original at all, but it sure is an entertaining way to be grossed out!

Available on Amazon!

Book Review: The Canal by Daniel Morris

In The Canal by Daniel Morris, a deadly monster lurks beneath the waste and stink of a city’s sewage canal, leaving behind the skinned remains of its victims. Detective Joe Lombardi has a certain affinity for solving canal crimes, so he’s put on the case. His tragic past has afforded him a familiar relationship with the canal, much to the chagrin of his square partner, Alan. Alan loathes Joe and the sloppy way he dresses and conducts himself. Alan hopes to solve this case for himself so he can get rid of Joe once and for all.

Yet, as they investigate the case they realize the true sinister nature of the murderer and that it just might not be human. The case begins to eat away at both Joe and Alan as more details surface about the murders and they must act quickly before the canal takes any more victims.

The Canal is a definite page-turner, dripping with atmosphere and oozing suspense. Author Daniel Morris gruesomely describes the polluted world of the canal and the gritty city it runs through. You can almost taste the brackish water of the canal and smell its pungent sewage stench through the pages. Several scenes (including several where different characters take the plunge into the diseased waters) had me dry-heaving because like the character of Alan I’m a bit of a neat freak and germaphobe. So reading about people taking a dive into the crusty, sludgy and heavily polluted water that’s not just swimming with nasty diseases but a flesh-eating monster had my toes curling and me squirming in my seat!

I also love how we are just given quick glimpses of the mutated monstrosity of the creature that don’t give away too much. Bit by bit we see more and more, until at the end when you see just how terrifying the monster really is. I think that by holding back the author made the final reveal all the more terrifying!

The author also did a fine job developing each of the characters. I was both intrigued and disgusted by Joe and while I though Alan was initially a prick, I warmed up to him. All of the other characters, from the homeless Rose to the uptight and immaculate “downtown” detective brought in to run the case to the mysterious Paul who treats the monster like a pet and so on, were just as interesting and really helped propel the story along, adding plenty of layers and nooks and crannies to explore.

I also thought the subtle environmental message of being careful what we throw away and being aware of where our waste goes was appropriate and timely. You can either embrace the message or disregard it, but it is definitely there for those that wish to acknowledge it.

The Canal is a great read, offering many twists, turns, sights and smells that you won’t soon forget! It’s a gumshoe murder mystery with a truly terrifying monster and will make you think twice about what might be lurking in the sewage canals of your city!

Order it on Amazon!

The Wolfman (2010)

With the poor performance at the box office, not to mention its delayed release, one might think The Wolfman isn’t worth checking out. On the contrary, however, it is a stunning film that even makes you forget it’s a remake. Its gorgeous gothic visuals (stark trees against a full moon, a decaying estate holding onto its stately yet tragic past, fog shrouded moors, dank dungeons) perfectly set the mood of the dark, tragic tale set in 1891 in England.

Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro), renowned actor, is called back to his childhood home by his brother’s wife Gwen (Emily Blunt), whom he has never met, after his brother goes mysteriously missing. When he arrives and is greeted indifferently by his father (Anthony Hopkins), he learns that his brother’s ravaged body has been found – and looks to have been attacked by wild mad man or ferocious beast. He vows to discover who or what killed his brother, even if it means dredging up painful childhood memories and putting himself in harm’s way.

In a tense and whirlwind attack of a gypsy encampment Talbot is bitten by the beast. He almost dies, but is nursed back to health by Gwen, whom he forms a special bond with. Yet, when he heals completely the townsfolk come around and tell him that on the next full moon he too will become a beast and murder people. He is also paid a visit by Det. Abberline (Hugo Weaving), who suspects that he is responsible for the killings.

To be truthful, I really wasn’t expecting much. I hadn’t heard that much of a buzz behind the film and I saw it in a near empty theater. This is really a pity, because the film is a wonderful homage to the original as well as making the storyline different enough so that it feels like its own movie.

Also, while I wasn’t too keen on Benicio Del Toro as the lead, I was surprised at how quickly I embraced him in his role. Same goes for Anthony Hopkins. Del Toro really made me sympathize with Talbot and his tortured, puppy dog eyes just sold the act even more. I also enjoyed seeing Hopkins in the role of the distant elder Talbot, and though he isn’t given that much to do, he still did a very believable job playing a father with a few skeletons in his closet.

Really, though, we don’t see a werewolf movie solely for the performances – we see it for the action and for the creature effects! And I’m happy and surprised to report that all of these things were fantastic. The film opened with a jarring scene and I felt that the rest of the action sequences (the werewolf’s grisly attack on a gypsy village, a rampage through London, the final hunt and so on) were appropriately paced throughout the film so there wasn’t a dull moment! The creature makeup and special FX looked great (another great job by Rick Baker) and shots of shoddy CGI were so few and far-between they aren’t even worth mentioning. There were also some choice cuts of bloody gore, far more than I was expecting, which should please all you gorehounds out there.

The Wolfman heralds the return of classic horror with its elegance, gothic atmosphere and exciting action. I really cannot comprehend the negative reviews it has been getting – it’s not a rip off of the original (have these people even seen the original?), it’s not boring and it certainly doesn’t “lack bite” (I wonder if they wrote that just cuz they wanted a cute headline), but it’s one of the few good (if not downright great) horror films I’ve seen in a theater for quite some time! I hope people will come to their senses and sniff out The Wolfman, because it is definitely a howling good time!

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: Incarnadine - The True Memoirs of Count Dracula Vol. 1 by R.H. Greene

In the richly descriptive Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One, we are given a detailed account of the man that will come to be known as Count Dracula in his early years. We see what life was like for “Konstantin Kuzmanov” when he was a man and experience his life as a soldier during the Ottoman Empire, then his conversion to pious priest and witness his falling in love, only to see him lose his one true love and his subsequent defiance of the heavens that transforms him into one of the undead. During this transformation he takes several companions with him, three which survive and become his infamous “brides”. Incarnadine tells of Dracula’s early origins in Medieval Eastern Europe and author R.H. Greene fills the imaginative tome with historical fact, including religion, rule and superstitions, all of which make for a wondrous backdrop to the philosophical, religious, emotional and physical challenges the future Count Dracula encounters.

The novel is beautifully written by Greene, and has a rather bittersweet, melancholy tone that runs throughout. You really get a sense of Kuzmanov/Dracula’s point of view in Incarnadine, a perspective that runs much deeper and more philosophical than most books based on Bram Stoker’s character of Dracula. Since the book covers a large span of time, there are lots of profound and major events that occur, all of which add to the grand legend of Count Dracula. For example, at one point the newly undead vampire, distraught over what he has become, turns into a grand oak tree for a period of years. Yes, yes, I know how that sounds but instead of being outlandish and silly, author Greene makes the event a very poignant one.

Greene also weaves Slavic myth and legends throughout the novel, making it seem that much more realistic. Some of it (like the tree passage, mentioned above) seems straight out of a Brothers Grimm tale, but it is also nice to see some of the familiar vampire lore and superstition (crosses, the ability to shapeshift, the ability to control animals, sun sensitivity, etc.) peppered throughout the book. So while this particular book shows a wholly new perspective on Dracula, it still keeps some of the familiar vampire tropes and goes a step further by explaining their origins.

Indeed, there is so much both old and new going on in Incarnadine that I’m glad that these memoirs have been broken in two volumes. I haven’t had the pleasure of reading the second volume (though I hear it has already been written), but I eagerly look forward to it, as it picks up with Jonathan Harker paying Dracula a visit at his castle home in the Carpathian Mountains.

Incarnadine is a thoughtful, exciting and wholly engrossing novel that sheds new light on vampire lore and lets us experience the grand legend of Count Dracula through his own eyes. It has its share of gross-out gore (in particular, the description of some of the “brides” is cringe-worthy), but overall the novel delves into more profound, philosophical territory. If you like your vampire stories with a little more bite, I highly encourage you to check out Incarnadine: The True Memoirs of Count Dracula: Volume One.

Buy it on Amazon!

Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith

Right on the heels of the delightful Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes its prequel, Dawn of the Dreadfuls. Dawn of the Dreadfuls is a completely original work (it’s not based on an Austen classic like the original was) with a different author than P & P & Z. Yet, it still manages to retain the charm and bloody action of P & P & Z.

Dawn of the Dreadfuls takes us through the colorful account of the Bennet sisters as the “unmentionable” menace threatens their idyllic life in the English countryside. After a corpse reanimates during a funeral, Mr. Bennet insists that his daughters be trained in the deadly arts. After much wailing about impropriety, reputations and what the neighbors will think, Mrs. Bennet finally accepts his decision and the rakishly handsome martial arts instructor Master Hawksworth is brought into the household and takes a special liking to his star pupil, Elizabeth. Meanwhile, soldiers are also amassing around the countryside in preparation to fight the growing zombie horde and Elizabeth meets their peculiar but charming scientist Dr. Keckilpenny who likes to conduct experiments on the “unmentionables” to better understand them. Not only is Elizabeth’s heart pulled between Master Hawksworth and Dr. Keckilpenny, but she also has to mind the ever-increasing numbers of zombies roaming the countryside. Everything comes to a head at Elizabeth’s coming out ball, held at repugnant Lord Lumpley’s estate, when an army of undead decides to attack the party-goers.

As a prequel to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Dawn of the Dreadfuls is an extremely fun and fulfilling novel that manages to fill in a lot of the back history of how the Bennet sisters were trained in the deadly arts. It is just delightful to see the Bennet sisters grow from naïve young country maids to deadly warriors. I also enjoyed the interaction between Elizabeth and the colorful characters of Master Hawksworth and Dr. Keckilpenny, both who vie for her attention in very different ways. Author Steve Hockensmith has populated the novel with many other colorful characters as well, including Captain Cannon, who lost all his limbs to zombies and now has four soldiers acting as “limbs” for him, the previously mentioned Lord Lumpley, whose physical description matches his name but doesn’t prevent him from womanizing, the legendary Catherine De Bourgh, zombie slayer extraordinaire, and many more!

Though the novel doesn’t match the witty Austen-isms from P & P & Z and lacks its clever dialogue, it makes up for this with action and its interesting characters. The characters I discussed above, but the action is just as great. From the sisters training in their dojo to having their first experiences with killing zombies to the great zombie siege at the end, the book moves fast and the action comes quick. I also didn’t mind the few hints at romance but also appreciated that Hockensmith didn’t go overboard with it. What he did go overboard with was the gore, which I more than gleefully appreciated! From desiccated corpses to the freshly undead to decapitations, impaling, and all sorts of gore, the novel didn’t disappoint!

Dawn of the Dreadfuls is a fun zombie period piece that will work well for both fans of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and fans of just zombies in general. Since it isn’t adopted straight from a Jane Austen novel like P & P & Z was, it is more accessible to the general horror populace with a craving for brains. With full-fledged zombie mayhem contrasting against a genteel English populace, Dawn of the Dreadfuls is the perfect cup of tea for horror fans thirsty for an entertaining zombie novel!

Order Dawn of the Dreadfuls on Amazon!

Book Review: Queen Victoria - Demon Hunter by A.E. Moorat

I started reading Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter right after seeing Young Victoria (what can I say, I’m a sucker for period dramas!) and was delighted to find that this book parallel the film in many ways. Well, at least in historical accuracy regarding the Queen’s ascension to the throne, members of Parliament as well as those of Royal Family and other historical figures, her falling in love with Prince Albert and their subsequent marriage! Of course, the book also featured many fictitious twists and turns involving the undead, demons, werewolves, succubi and the Queen’s own demon-slaying team, called the Protektorate, all of which were heartily welcomed by this horror fan!

From the book’s back cover:

London 1838 – Queen Victoria is crowned; she receives the orb, the sceptre, and an arsenal of blood-stained weaponry. Because if Britain is about to become the greatest power of the age, there’s the small matter of the demons to take care of first.

But rather than dreaming of demon hunting, it is Prince Albert that occupies her thoughts. Can she dedicate her life to saving her country when her heart belongs elsewhere?

With lashings of glistening entrails, decapitations, and foul demons, this masterly new portrait will give a fresh understanding of a remarkable woman, a legendary monarch, and quite possibly the best Demon Hunter the world has ever seen…

From the first moment I picked up Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter I did not want to put it down! It is packed with vivid imagery, fierce battles, villainess characters, clever quips and the gripping story of how Queen Victoria ascended to the throne and her struggles of not only ruling a kingdom, but also slaying demons. I love the re-imagining of her as a demon hunter, and though the revamping of period pieces or historical figures into more horror-themed books seems to be all the rage (see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and so on) Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter is still an extremely engaging novel.

Author A.E. Moorat has done a seamless job weaving blood and guts with a royal biography. He also offers up plenty of twists and turns that kept me entertained and on my toes. Highlights include a Lord that employs a zombie manservant (with a fake zombie leg, no less!), a thrilling battle on horseback between the Queen’s Protektor and demon horsemen, a trip to the dreary mental hospital, Bedlam, an intriguing backstory on demon lineage, a bloody zombie battle at the House of Commons, and many, many more exciting tidbits.

As you can see, this is not just a book for history buffs, but one that horror fans will definitely fall head over heels for. It’s got everything you could possibly ask for – drama, political intrigue, romance, action and loads of gooey gore! All is seamlessly woven together by author Moorat, coinciding with a nail-biting climax where the Queen must rescue her Prince from evil’s clutches, but not before she learns an awful family secret.

I cannot recommend this book enough! It kept me up into the wee hours of the morning, as I devoured chapter after chapter to find out what was to become of Queen Victoria and the many other characters that bring the story to life. I just could not get enough of the novel, and as the end drew near I was both excited and sad – excited to see the conclusion of the story but also sad that it was coming to an end! I do hope that perhaps we get a sequel out of Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter, because it deserves one (and I would love to see the Queen battling demons as she grows older!).

Get your copy on Amazon!