Book Review: Halloweenland by Al Sarrantonio

Sinister carnivals. The Lord of the Dead. A strange little girl. A town known as the Halloween capital of the world. And a Halloween that just might be the world’s last. With these intriguing plot points, I couldn’t wait to dig into Halloweenland by Al Sarrantonio. I especially looked forward to reading the book as a kick-off to the Halloween season.

From the back cover:

In Orangefield, Halloween is never normal – and this year will be no exception. For Orangefield is now the home of Halloweenland, a bizarre carnival run by the mysterious Mr. Dickens. No one who sees the carnival doubts that it’s a very strange place, but its real secrets can hardly be imagined.

Orangefield is also the home of Detective Bill Grant, who thinks he’s seen it all. He’s on the trail of an odd little girl, a girl who could hold the end of the universe in her hand. The trail will lead Grant to Ireland, the ancient home of the Lord of the Dead, then back to Orangefield, where, on what may be the last Halloween, the ultimate battle between Life and Death will take place.

Halloweenland is a very fast, very entertaining read. I feel the settings of both Orangefield and Ireland really got me in the spirit of Halloween. I especially liked Orangefield, which seemed to be the kind of town that goes all out for Halloween. We’re talking about jack o’lanterns on every porch, a Pumpkin Festival, creepy abandoned pumpkin patches and so on. Hey, I wouldn’t mind living there!

Al Sarrantonio has given us vivid autumnal imagery with Halloweenland. His words beautifully evoke the spirit of Halloween, which is partly what I was looking for when I picked up the book. You can almost smell the pumpkin spice and burning leaves in the air!

My only complaint was that the book is too short at only 230 pages. The last 70 pages include the short story that eventually became the first part of Halloweenland. Though it boasts a different outcome, the short story is pretty much a repeat of the first chapters of the book. I would have rather Sarrantonio expanded a bit more on certain characters, like the little girl and the carnival owner, instead of including his original short story.

I also thought the setting of Ireland wasn’t explored enough. The characters spent most of the time sight-seeing rather than exploring the roots of Halloween and Samhain. Reflecting back, this was really a wasted opportunity and didn’t even feel necessary in the grander scheme of the story.

However, despite these flaws Halloweenland was a fun and fast read with some great Halloween imagery. I look forward to reading Sarrantonio’s other books in the Orangefield series.

Available on Amazon!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Bloodhound balloon dogs. Cotton candy cadavers. Popcorn guns. Killer pies. Circus tent UFO’s. And clowns from outer space with a taste for human blood! These are some of the wacky gags you’ll find throughout Killer Klowns from Outer Space, but despite the film’s zany feel and Z-movie reputation it has many clever moments.

If the film’s title doesn’t give it all away, the movie is about killer clown’s from outer space that land on Earth and start killing any people they come across, wrapping the corpses in cotton candy! Two college students, Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder), stumble across the clown’s spaceship, disguised as a colorful circus tent. After discovering some cadavers wrapped in cotton candy, they run back into their small town to get the cops. Of course, the older, distrusting cop, Mooney (John Vernon), thinks the two are playing some sort of prank at his expense and blows them off. Only Officer Dave (John Allen Nelson), who is Debbie’s ex, believes them and sets off to investigate. Mike’s friends the Terenzi brothers, who own an ice cream truck, also join the fight against the clowns.

Soon, the killer clowns reach town and begin offing people in creative ways…with carnivorous shadow puppets, entombing them in big balloons and cotton candy, shooting them with popcorn that turns into slithering mini-clowns, hitting them over the head with giant mallets or melting them with deadly cream pies! Can Mike, Debbie, Dave and the Terenzi brothers save the town before they all end up in the funhouse or is it already too late?

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is arguably one of the silliest yet fun B-movies you’ll come across! Brought to corny horror lovers by the Chiodo Brothers – Charles, Edward and Stephen – Killer Klowns is more fun than a barrel full of drunken monkeys! The film’s premise is decidedly lowbrow, but despite its B-movie tendencies it has a comical charm to it that raises it a bit higher (at least in my book) in comparison to other ‘80s schlock.

What also makes it so great is its colorful set design. The Chiodo Brothers obviously had a ton of fun with the bright colors and carnival-like atmosphere of the film. Everything, from the red and yellow circus tent to the labyrinth of striped and polka-dotted halls of the clowns’ spaceship, screamed demented fun! And the design of the killer clowns was equally impressive. Instead of just featuring actors in clown makeup, the killer clowns wear larger-than-life, bizarre clown masks. While some might find the costumes more corny than creepy, there was just something unsettling about the clowns and their outrageous outfits.

Despite the menacing villains, there isn’t too much to be scared of in Killer Klowns. It is rated PG-13, so it’s light on blood and gore. Still, there are some entertaining kills throughout the film. There were decapitations, puppet and shadow puppet massacres, child endangerment, a Godzilla-like “boss” clown and so on. The real star of the show, though, was the creative use of circus props used throughout the film. For example, the clowns made a balloon animal dog, which they used as a bloodhound to track down people. And the use of killer pies, cotton candy and popcorn were all very entertaining as well. The circus/carnival theme was definitely used to its max!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is one of the most outlandish and fun of the ‘80s B-movies. It’s got a crazy energy and a madcap imagination that makes it a cult classic in the annals of horror comedies. The Chiodos brothers definitely brought us horror fans a tasty treat with Killer Klowns!

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The Funhouse (1981)

Directed by Tobe Hooper and released in 1981, The Funhouse tells the story of two couples who decide to spend the night in the funhouse of a carnival. They witness a murder, and spend the remainder of the movie trying to escape from the deformed killer.

Don't be mistaken, the "deformed killer" is no where near as scary as Leatherface from Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. He's more of a pathetic character, and there are times where I felt sorry for him. His father, who works at the carnival as a barker, is the real villain here, though there are times where I felt sorry for him as well. The killer works at the Funhouse, wearing a Frankenstein mask, and is constantly heckled by his father. The murder the kids witness is when he kills the carnival's fortune teller, whom he pays for a sexual service. She refuses to give his money back after he finishes a bit prematurely, and in a fit of rage he strangles her. His father finds out what he has done and soon they discover that they are being watched by the two couples. Though the father is enraged that his deformed son has killed "one of their own," he orders him to track down the kids and kill them.

The couples try to escape, but realize that they are locked in the Funhouse. One by one, they are killed off by numerous devices in the Funhouse. The characters were all pretty unlikable, so I don't even remember their names. One interesting plot line had one of the girls' little brother following them to the carnival, where he is traumatized by the killer. The rest of the movie was pretty boring. It had some cool kills, but the deformed killer looked ridiculous, the acting was bad and it didn't have very much suspense. It is not a memorable movie.

One cool thing was seeing how carnivals used to be - complete with an animal freak show and a nudie review! There are better, more suspenseful and less annoying movies to watch besides Funhouse, though...I recommend you check something else out unless you really like carnivals.

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