Piranha (1978)

I hate water. I've never liked it. At the beach, you'll never find me in the drink. At most, I might dip my toes in, then shudder and run back for the safety of my towel. When I was in high school, my friend Megan's family owned a plot on a campground right next to a river. We would have weekend getaways there, camping out and having girly fun. Everyone would swim in the river except for me. I never used the rope swing that hung over the river, no siree-bob! I would use an inner-tube to float down the river, but even then I couldn't wait to get out and get dry.

The water was always murky, and I feared what lay below, be it fish, bugs, rocks or other things that could possibly hurt me. Ugh...I shudder even now thinking about what unknowns lie below.

This dislike and distrust of water probably stems from my younger years. My family went camping almost every summer, even though we lived on a ranch in the middle of the most beautiful countryside. We would usually camp in the redwoods and always picked a campground with a river rushing through it. My sister and I, already wearing our water shoes and swimsuits, would beg to go swimming the second camp was set up. Of course our parents obliged, and after slathering on the sunblock (there is no tanning for me - I immediately burn) we would splash into the river. I have always been a poor swimmer, even after numerous swimming classes, so I usually stayed pretty close to shore. One time I went a little farther out, to where there were some small rapids. I could still stand, but the water was probably up to my chest or neck. No, I did not begin to drown, but I did begin to feel a very uncomfortable feeling. There was a pinching inside my swimsuit, right on my tummy. Well, being pretty young I started screaming and thrashing about until I made my way up on shore and ran to my mom. After grappling with my swimsuit, the hugest, ugliest bug plopped out on shore. Ugh! The bugger had bit me too! I still remember the big, red and ugly bite I had on my stomach for a few days afterward. Suffice to say, I did not go back into the water that trip.

When I was even younger, my grandparents had a house right on the bay in Newport Beach (yes, where The O.C. is set). I would always be out there by myself, building sandcastles, torturing jellyfish, and so on. One summer, I decided to teach myself how to swim. I did a pretty good job, until I noticed all the trash at the bottom of the bay. Rusty cans, plastic wrappers, fish hooks - you name it. After that, I gave up swimming and decided to spend my efforts recycling and trying to keep the world a cleaner place.

To this day, I still won't go in the water. I don't even like swimming pools. Which is why Piranha is the perfect summer movie for me. I want to show it to other people to say, "See, you shouldn't go in the water. You never know what's in it!" In Piranha, the government has developed a mutant strain of the fish. They can live in fresh or salt water, are immune to most poison, are intelligent and are bloodthirsty.

They are inadvertently released from the government facility into the river system. Well, it's summer time, and just down the river is a summer camp as well as a newly opened resort. It's up to an investigator of missing persons and a drunken hermit to find a way to stop the piranhas before they devour everything in their path!

This is a fun, campy movie that shouldn't be taken seriously. It gave me the willies and just reinforced my desire to stay out of the water. Hollywood is supposedly doing a remake, but I doubt it'll be anywhere near as good as the original. The most disturbing scene is when the piranhas attack the young kids from the summer camp. I don't think Hollywood would recreate that scene as it is just so...I dunno, unfortunate and disturbing!

This is by no means a perfect movie, as it does have a couple of plot holes, but it's a great movie to watch on a hot summer night.

Order it on Amazon!

The Booth (2005)

Another Japanese horror movie, but definitely not a typical one.

Via Netflix:

When he's forced to evacuate his regular studio for renovations, Shogo (Ryuta Sato), a popular radio disc jockey, temporarily moves into the building's mysterious Studio 6, which has stood empty ever since its last occupant committed suicide. Trouble is, it doesn't take long for strange things to start happening inside the new booth, prompting Shogo to wonder whether he's losing his mind -- or seeing ghosts.

This movie was pretty intense, with a caller phoning in to Shogo's radio show to quietly but repeatedly call him a "liar." From there, things began to get even creepier. As Shogo begins to question his sanity, so does the audience, as we aren't quite sure what is real and what isn't.

The story is told from Shogo's perspective, and each time he is called a liar from the mystery caller, we are treated to a flashback of him being especially nasty to someone, usually his coworkers. Shogo slowly starts to lose it, as he suspects his coworkers to be seeking revenge, while more and more of his listeners want to know about the paranormal activity happening inside The Booth.

I liked this movie much more than I anticipated I would. It stayed far away from the typical J-Horror scares dealing with small children or women with long, black hair, and instead sent a slow, but progressive shiver up my spine.

Order it on Amazon!

Seance (2000)

Kiyoshi Kurosawa's films always leave me speechless. I saw Kairo (aka Pulse) a while ago, and was left amazed. Upon finishing the film, I was disappointed, as I had completely different expectations of it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it for days afterward. It was so dark and nihilistic about the human condition, about how people are so disconnected from each other. After thinking about it, I realized I really did like it. The US remake of it will undoubtedly be crap, opting for jump scares instead of the mounting dread, and will probably take the tone in a completely different direction.

With Seance, Kurosawa left me speechless again. This film was made for TV in Japan, yet manages to surpass most US theatrical films in beauty and substance. A couple, Sato and Junco, live disconnected lives. They seem to still be in love, but aren't quite connected anymore. Sato works as a sound engineer while Junco is a psychic who specializes in seances. Junco also works with a psychologist to prove that psychic phenomena is real. Meanwhile, a little girl is kidnapped from a playground by a man hoping to collect a ransom from her parents.

The kidnapper takes the little girl into the woods, where Sato happens to be recording some woodsy sounds for his job. The little girl escapes from the abductor, and hides in one of Sato's sound equipment cases. Sato then leaves to go home, locking up the case with the child inside. The case sits in his garage, without him or Junco knowing what is inside.

The police catch the kidnapper, but during the capture he is hit with scaffolding and goes into a coma. The police have no clues to the little girl's whereabouts, so they enlist the help of Junco. The police give Junco a handkerchief that belonged to the girl, but she doesn't sense anything until she gets home. Here Junco senses the girl nearby and discovers her in the garage.

Instead of going to the hospital or calling the police, Junco insists that she and Sato keep the little girl there. Junco wants to turn the situation to her advantage, to make her a rich and famous psychic. Her and Sato string the police along, telling them where to find the girl's shoes (that they placed themselves) and assuring them that Junco just needs a little more time to find the girl.

Things quickly go wrong when the little girl dies and Junco and Sato have to cover up more and more and deal with the girl's ghost, while Junco still tries to make a name for herself.

This film was not scary, but like Kairo, it creates a mounting sense of dread. I enjoyed it, but it's not for everyone. It is very slow paced and very quiet. Kurosawa manages to find dread in well-lit, airy places, not an easy task to pull off. There are only a few ghosts in the film, the most prominent being the little girl's ghost. Check this out if you are into more mature horror, like Kairo.

Order it on Amazon!

The New York Ripper (1982)

A killer is loose in New York, sexually mutilating beautiful women. The killer talks like Donald Duck, both to his victims and when taunting the police over the telephone. An older detective tries to solve the case before another woman is cut to ribbons.

This film was directed by Lucio Fulci, who also directed the films Don't Torture a Duckling and Zombie. While I enjoyed those films, I could not get into The New York Ripper. The violence was just too misogynistic for me. Plus, Fulci seemed to come up with the killing scenes first before applying the convoluted back story. There were many suspects, all of them seedy and mysterious characters. The psychologist who was helping the detective seemed like he could have done it, as could have the gigolo, the rich but lonely and kinky wife or the lone survivor of an attack by the Ripper. To quote Randy in Scream, "Everyone's a suspect!"

I wholeheartedly agree with Killing in Style's review of the film. It does appear that Fulci used the story as padding for the killing scenes. The highly violent, erotically charged and misogynistic killings definitely come first in the film, while the plot comes second and sort of fades into the background. Killing in Style points out:

...it could be compared with porn as it uses a similar parasitic approach: diverting a rather classic and well-coded cinema style to use it to its own advantage. When porn leverages any stereotypical scenaristic frame as a pretext to fit in as many porn scenes as possible, Fulci hijacks the early 80s American cop film codes and structure to stuff it with ultra-violent (and sometimes almost pornographic) sequences.

The "almost pornographic" death scenes make this a very uncomfortable film to watch. The camera caresses every angle of each character about to die, and continues to caress them as they are killed by the Ripper.

For everything I want to say about this movie, go to Killing in Style's excellent review of the film - he basically covers it all!

Order it on Amazon!

Raw Meat (1972)

A series of missing person cases lead the police to investigate the tunnels of the London subway system. What they find is the last survivor of a cave-in who has managed to survive on human meat...Raw Meat!

This was another one of my purchases for about $4 at Second Spin, a used CD/DVD store just down the street. It was money well spent! I thoroughly enjoyed this 1972 movie, especially the performance by Donald Pleasence, who plays the inspector. He was downright hilarious!! Also, Christopher Lee has a small role, which was quite a treat. The rest of the cast did a swell job as well.

The film wasn't really scary, but it did get me quite squeamish in certain parts. The cannibal kills people on the subway platform and drags them back to his "home" to feed his ailing, pregnant "wife." Some of the scenes were pretty bloody, and of course the cannibal was pretty gross covered in sores and flesh wounds.

His wife dies after all, and the man is left all alone in the tunnels. His reaction to his wife's death is pretty gut-wrenching. I felt quite sorry for him. After all he'd been through, he was the last one left. Of course it is too bad that he only saw other humans as food or mating material. After his wife's death, he goes on a bit of a rampage, killing a few janitors and other stragglers at the tube station. He finds a new mate in Patricia, after her and her boyfriend become separated on the subway towards the end of the film. Incidentally, Patricia and her boyfriend, Alex, had jump started the police investigation as earlier they found a well-to-do civil servant passed out on the subway's staircase. When they returned with help, the man was gone, which began the official inquiry. Anywho, Mr. Cannibal is in the mood, and tries to woo Patricia in his own drool-y way. His drool, his pustular sores and indecipherable moaning don't do the trick, though, not on this modern girl!

Alex, meanwhile, has found his way underground to look for Patricia after her bloody purse was found by the police in the subway. He gets to her in the nick of time, just as the cannibal is ripping her clothes off. After a struggle, Alex beats the pus outta the guy, and he and Patricia limp off. The police arrive and all seems in order...until we hear the cannibal's indecipherable moaning after all have gone...

I thought this movie was very well done, except for some plot holes. For example, it bothered me that the cannibal had a way out of the tunnels, but didn't think to get out and get back into the world. Overall, though, it was a lot better than I expected it to be! Again, the best part was Donald Pleasence...I didn't know he could ham it up so much! Check this out, I haven't heard many people talk about it.

Order it on Amazon!

Unhinged (1982)

Three women on a road trip crash their car and are taken in by a mother and daughter who live in the middle of nowhere. Things seem a little odd, and soon the girls discover a shocking family secret! Duh-duh-DUM!!

As I briefly stated below, Unhinged is a rip off of both The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Psycho, but doesn't even come close to achieving the level of horror of either masterpiece.

When I bought the DVD for a measly $4.99, I was enthralled with the claim that it had beat Poltergeist at the box office before being banned in the UK. It promised lots of violence, nudity, and gore (ok so I wasn't into the whole nudity aspect of these claims, but nonetheless, I was hopeful for the other bits!). Alas, it was more of an impulse buy, so I wasn't able to verify the claims before purchase.

After viewing this boring and derivative movie, I find its claims hard to believe. The only reason it may have been banned in the UK is for the senseless nudity throughout the film. It seems the filmmaker wanted the girls to do full frontal so the killer would have something to breathe heavy about. And gore?! Forget about it...this film has only three or so kills, and none of them are spectacularly bloody. One girl gets offed by a scythe, one by a hatchet and the last by a machete. The killings aren't too impressive and don't feature that much gore or blood, probably because of budgetary constraints. As for the claim that it beat Poltergeist at the box office...well, that just seems really hard to believe unless you're smoking crack!

Unhinged had terrible acting, especially by the lead who played Terry. The movie plodded on and on, with the only "scares" coming from the heavy-breathing psycho who liked to spy on the oft-naked girls. The story (and especially the big revelation at the end) would have been interesting if the filmmaker had delivered the goods earlier on and not dragged it out. The scenes were repetitive, with the actors stating facts the audience already knew.

The ending, though pretty good, was derivative of Psycho. I did experience some shock as to who the killer was and liked that there were no survivors. Yet, the ending couldn't make up for the absolute suckage of the rest of the movie. Skip it.

Check it out on Amazon!

Opera (1987)

The great Dario Argento strikes again with Opera, another beautifully shot giallo/horror film that reminded me somewhat of Suspiria with its rich visuals. The movie itself centers around the decadent world of the opera, with its high drama, intricate stage sets, elaborate costumes, and inflated egos. Argento's stylish shots perfectly frame this opulence while he also builds dread with the dream-like atmosphere.

Opera is about Betty, a soprano understudy for the Lady Macbeth role in Verdi's infamous opera, Macbeth. The lead diva is hit by a car, and so Betty is brought in one hour before showtime to fill her place. This is her one big opportunity to make her debut, but she is nervous since the particular opera is said to be cursed. Nonetheless, she has a wonderful performance, except when a set of stage lights comes crashing down. The killer has arrived! He tried to watch the opera in peace (he seemed specifically interested in Betty), but an usher disturbed him. After a struggle in which the stage lights were sent flying, the usher ends up impaled on a coat hanger. The performance goes on, and it isn't until much later the usher's body is discovered.

After the performance, Betty gets a strange vibe from a police officer who gives her a rose and asks for her autograph, but he's only there to inspect the lighting accident. Later, Betty goes over to the stage manager's house, which is as big and cavernous as a museum. After some hanky panky, which doesn't lead to sex (the funniest line in the movie is spoken by him, which I can't recall word for word, but goes something like, "I thought all opera stars were always horny...some even have sex before every performance to relax their voice." Oooooh that was a hoot!), the masked killer shows up. When the stage manager leaves the room, the killer grabs Betty from behind, binds her to a column and tapes razor-sharp needles below her eyes. If she doesn't keep her eyes open, those nifty needles will poke her eyeballs out! When the stage manager boy returns, he is stabbed repeatedly while Betty is forced to watch with eyes open wide. After the killer is finished, he fondles her a little, for funsies I 'spose, and cuts her loose.

Betty, not wanting bad publicity, doesn't call the police. She instead walks the rainy streets in a daze, until her director, Mark, spots her and takes her home. She tells him what has happened and after she feels safe, he leaves.

Meanwhile, the killer goes back to the theater, where he slices up one of Betty's costumes. Ravens that are used in the opera are also housed there, and create quite a ruckus when the killer arrives. The killer delights in killing some of the birds, until the other birds begin attacking him. All the noise attracts a night watchmen, and the killer flees the theater.

The next morning at rehearsal, the same strange police officer from the first performance shows up. Turns out he's an inspector and is questioning everyone about the deaths of the usher, the stage manager and the ravens. Betty avoids him, not wanting to answer any questions about her whereabouts the previous night.

The killer shows up again at the theater, binding Betty and forcing her to watch another very bloody murder. We also start to see flashbacks of another woman being murdered while another bound woman watches nearby. Hmmmm...is Betty hiding something? Well, we learn that Betty actually had childhood dreams of the masked killer. Instead of dreams, could these be repressed memories?

These flashbacks as well as the lighting, sets, camera angles and high goriness factor add to the surreal aspect of this film. The dream-like atmosphere makes us doubt everyone and suspect everyone of being the killer. I even suspected Betty to be the killer, among with many other characters.

Many other killings follow, all done in different ways, but Betty is always forced to watch, wearing the needles under her eyes. The ending does not disappoint, with the ravens being set loose during a performance of the opera to attack the killer, who is sitting in the audience. It doesn't end there, though, but I'll just say the ending is very satisfying to watch, even if you guess who the killer is by the finale.

This film is highly recommended, especially if you already appreciate Argento's work. Even if you don't, the stunning visuals, beautiful shots and especially the gory kills make this a classic. Not as good as Suspiria, but Opera still delivers the screams.

Order it on Amazon!