Hannibal Rising (2007)

After seriously dragging my feet, I finally got around to viewing Hannibal Rising, Peter Webber’s prequel that explains exactly why Hannibal Lecter loves the flesh of people so much. When I first heard about Rising, I was excited. The character of Hannibal Lecter has always fascinated me and I was anxious to see how a young Lecter progressed into a cannibalistic serial killer.

Of course, when it hit theaters and generated pretty bad reviews, I decided to wait until DVD. When it hit DVD, I just found myself continually putting off watching the flick. That is, until now…

The film certainly didn’t live up to my expectations of showcasing an intelligent and methodical killer honing his skills, but it sure was “purty” to look at!

A young Hannibal (Aaran Thomas) and his rich, castle-dwelling family are forced to flee their Lithuanian fortress when Nazi troops invade in WWII. The Lecter family hides out in a cabin in the woods with winter fast approaching. Hannibal and his younger sister Mischa (Helena Lia Tachovska) have an inseparable bond that only grows stronger when their parents are killed. They are left all alone as they continue hiding in the cabin as bitter winter sets in. A band of looters discovers the two children and take them hostage while they seek refuge from the Nazi troops. Pretty soon everyone is starving and young Hannibal is witness to some horrific things, including the death of his baby sister.

Years after escaping the Eastern Front, Hannibal (Gaspard Ulliel) is living with his uncle’s widow, the Lady Murasaki (Li Gong), in Paris. He has a determination to hunt down his sister’s killers and make them pay for the horrible atrocities they committed. He enrolls in medical school and begins to seek out those that have caused him so much pain. One by one the men are killed, and Hannibal has to avoid Inspector Popil (Dominic West) who is hot on his trail.

As I said before, this film’s visuals are absolutely stunning. The opening World War II scenes are spectacular to behold, and the snow-covered countryside is something else! We are treated to grandiose images of Eastern European forests, lakes, castles as well as the fashions and people of Paris in those days. The cinematography by Ben Davis and the direction of Peter Webber really give us some breath-taking scenes to look at.

It’s too bad the story doesn’t measure up.

The whole problem with Hannibal Rising is that it feels nothing like a Hannibal Lecter movie. Gaspard Ulliel may be adorable to look at, but that doesn’t do him much good if he’s supposed to be playing a cold, calculating serial killer. Lecter’s shrewd deducing skills and sharp intelligence just don’t shine through in Ulliel’s performance. Just like the rest of the movie, Ulliel is pretty to look at but don’t expect much else from him. As a Hannibal Lecter movie, Hannibal Rising doesn’t work at all. I mean, Lecter as a samurai-in-training?! C’mon! There are just too many silly instances and clichés to qualify this as a “good” movie.

The scenes of revenge were executed quite nicely, though the actually acts aren’t shown explicitly on screen. The most vicious scene involved a length of rope and a horse that results in decapitation. I enjoyed when Hannibal caught up with his prey, but everything seemed a little too perfect and he seemed a little too calm and suave for a first-timer. The big climactic ending was also a bit of a let down, and felt like more of a James Bond, rescue-the-damsel-in-distress flick than a horror, or even thriller movie.

Overall, Hannibal Rising is a very beautiful, almost epic film in regards to its imagery, but falls short when it comes to its story. Instead it devolves into silliness and clichés, without every giving a clear picture as to Hannibal the Cannibal’s real motivations.

Check out Hannibal Rising if you want to look at pretty scenery. Check out Manhunter or Silence of the Lambs if you are hankering for some good ol’ fashioned Lecter.

Available from Amazon!

The Haunting of #24 (2007)

Forget the cheesy looking cover and settle in for a tense and terrifying story with the film The Haunting of #24 (aka Lie Still in it’s originating country, England).

An English man named John (Stuart Laing) moves into a decrepit flat. He has suffered through a hard breakup – his girlfriend Veronica (Nina Sosanya) left him for someone better and now he’s trying to get back on his feet and start fresh. Hell of a building he chose to start his new life!! Number 24 is dark, dank, has unfriendly tenants and just may have an unmarked grave in the backyard. Still, John has nowhere left to go and no money so he takes up residence. He only has contact with the jubilant landlord, Martin (Robert Blythe) and an old, crazy neighbor-lady (Susan Engel) next door. The other tenants, he’s told, pretty much keep to themselves.

Soon, strange things begin happening to John. After a long day of stalking his ex, he returns to his apartment and sacks out on his thin, lumpy mattress only to be woken up by someone (or something) scratching, then pounding, on his door. Over the next few days, he begins hearing strange noises and voices. His TV doesn’t get any reception, but one he sees a few ghostly people invade his TV screen. They are still there when he pulls the plug. A creepy photograph of the original owner (Granville Saxton) of the building seems to be changing every night. It appears that the man is getting closer and closer.

Soon, John isn’t sleeping and his exasperated ex-girlfriend thinks he’s having a nervous breakdown. John comes to believe that his landlord and crazy neighbor are in on whatever is going on. As John tries to decipher what is real and what isn’t, he falls deeper and deeper into despair and terror. Soon, he realizes that he can’t even leave the house. Can he find a way out of 24 before it is too late?

I am a sucker for ghost stories. If done well, they usually end up doing their job and scaring the ever-loving bejeesus outta me! If done wrong, they end up in the trashbin or sent back to Netflix with low, low ratings. Thankfully, The Haunting of #24 managed to do things right, saving itself from my wrath. It is a superbly done horror film, focusing on creepy images and amazing sound to send the appropriate shivers up my spine.

Now, this is a subtle film that takes its time getting under your skin and creeping you out. To all the fucktards that want their horror fast, furious and drenched and blood…gimme a break! There’s so much more out there than the typical gorefest. While I appreciate bloody and brainless fun, I still think that people who can’t appreciate an atmospheric, slower paced horror movie aren’t horror fans at all. All that said and done, The Haunting of #24 builds slowly, but once it reaches its apex the shocks and scares come at you at a steady pace. And we’re not just talking jump scares, here either. Writer/director Sean Hogan definitely knows how to build dread in a film, because that is exactly what he does here!

Though The Haunting of #24 is an independent film with a lower budget, it certainly hasn’t affected the effectiveness of the film. The movie looks appropriately dark and the forlorn #24 is certainly the perfect setting for the story. Though there are no “big-name” actors in the film, the acting is absolutely stellar. Stuart Laing as John does a remarkable job going from sad and rejected to absolutely terrifying and scared for his life. All his actions ring true in the film, which is a credit to Hogan’s script. The rest of the cast do a wonderful job as well, especially Robert Blythe as the landlord and Susan Engel as the old and creepy neighbor.

The sound design of the film and the accompanying score work wonders in this film. In one particularly scary scene, where, late at night, John is searching for his ex-girlfriend Veronica with only a flashlight to light up the creepy hallways and twisting stairs, the sound design used is extremely effective at creating a disorienting and frightening atmosphere.

There are many other impressive scenes that combine sounds, lighting and imagery that’ll spook you right outta your socks. Director Hogan has created a fine and frightening ghost story with The Haunting of #24, one that you shouldn’t miss. If you’re looking for a film that will send you diving under the covers, look no further than The Haunting of #24. Curl up all alone in a darkened room with this film and by the end you should be appropriately terrified.

Unless you are too busy watching Generic Gorefest #4,657, that is…

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: The Keeper by Sarah Langan

To me, summer means hanging out with friends, ridiculous amounts of barbecuing, long days, hot nights and lots of reading. I don’t know what it is, but summer is the time I catch up on my reading and re-read some old favorites. This summer is no different, but I had the pleasure of reading many authors that were new to me. One of those authors was Sarah Langan. I read her book The Keeper while sipping lemonade on my sun dappled porch and was stunned at how alone and cold her book made me feel.

If a horror novel can hit me that hard and affect me so much, it’s a very good thing.

The Keeper is a very frightening novel that gets under your skin. It’s hard not to relate to the characters’ darker nature and the town’s depressing state. The novel gets darker and darker as it progresses until its oppressive atmosphere begins to affect your very thoughts. Langan has crafted a very gloomy novel with The Keeper.

From the back of the book: Some believe Bedford, Maine, is cursed. Its bloody past, endless rain, and the decay of its downtown portend a hopeless future. With the death of its paper mill, Bedford’s unemployed residents soon find themselves with far too much time to dwell on thoughts of Susan Marley. Once the local beauty, she’s now the local whore. Silently prowling the muddy streets, she watches eerily from the shadows, waiting for . . . something. And haunting the sleep of everyone in town with monstrous visions of violence and horror.

Those who are able will leave Bedford before the darkness fully ascends. But those who are trapped here—from Susan Marley’s long-suffering mother and younger sister to her guilt-ridden, alcoholic ex-lover to the destitute and faithless with nowhere else to go — will soon know the fullest and most terrible meaning of nightmare.

I was extremely impressed with The Keeper, but even more so when I discovered that this was Sarah Langan’s first novel! The Keeper is a creepy, deeply unsettling work that is sure to mark the start of a very promising career.

Langan’s vivid descriptions bring the characters and the town to life. Her descriptions are so detailed that I felt like I was in Bedford, inhaling the putrid sulfuric air alongside the townsfolk. The dark, depressing town becomes a character all its own, slowly sucking the life out of its inhabitants. For such a life-like and well-described tome, I felt that the characters could have been developed a little more. Instead of identifying with them, I actually found myself liking and feeling sorry for Susan Marley more than most of the townies.

The novel has a slow, languorous pace for the first ¾ of it, but it kicks into high gear for the grand finale. Dead things start coming back to life, the old mill starts spewing its poison and Susan Marley and the ghosts of Bedford encroach on its last remaining citizens. The beginning book deals with the characters that live in town and their deep secrets and relationships to Susan Marley. I felt the pace was appropriate throughout the book and didn’t have issue with it. Langan’s poetic prose made me feel like I was in a waking nightmare, much of how the characters within the book must have felt.

The descriptions of horror are very effective. People die in very grisly ways and the dark, bad things that slowly seep into Bedford are very disturbing. In an early scene, a girl is chased through the cemetery by something, which sounds pretty cliché, but Langan manages to evoke fear out of the reader nonetheless.

The Keeper is Sarah Langan’s first full-length published novel, which is surprising considering what a wonderful writer she is. With this her first novel, she has already been compared to Stephen King. There is no doubt that this bright new talent has a great future ahead of her.

For a spine-tingling chill in the heat of summer, pick up Sarah Langan’s The Keeper.

Available from Amazon!

Book Review: The Cellar by Richard Laymon

Recently, I finished the very quick and disturbing read that was the late, great Richard Laymon’s The Cellar. I found it a superb book that was equal parts disturbing, gross-out and suspenseful.

It tells the tale of Donna and her young daughter Sandy who flee SoCal for the North when Donna’s abusive ex-husband Roy is released from prison after doing a stint for pedophilia and rape. After having car trouble, the two are forced to stay in Malcasa Point, a small town famous for its Beast House. A vicious beast is said to live in its depths and many murders and disappearances have occurred around the house. During the day, though, tours are given of the house and this is where Donna and Sandy meet Jud (short for Judgment) and Larry. Larry is the only survivor of a beast attack and has hired Jud to kill it. With Roy hot on Donna and Sandy’s trail, the two decide to join up with Jud and Larry. Can the four face up against the cunning and cruel Roy? Better yet, can they survive the beast of Beast House?

As one of Laymon’s earlier (and slimmer) works, The Cellar works very well at creating a sense of dread and downright ickiness throughout the proceedings. The scenes of child abuse and rape are extremely hard to read, as are the scenes of “beast”-iality that pop up later in the book. Somehow, even though I wanted to put the book down or skip the particular parts in question, I just couldn’t tear my eyes away. The gore described within the book is nothing compared the disturbing sexual deviancy contained within its pages, but it is still pretty good.

Laymon has created a very tense book that made me want to keep reading. In fact, I finished the book in a very short time mainly because I wanted to see the bad guy get his just desserts and to find out exactly what the beast was. The reveal of the beast was pretty mundane, but the twist at the end was definitely a delight. Unfortunately, Roy’s demise is pretty quick and anticlimactic for a character that is so evil. I was really hoping he would be forced to suffer more.

Also, the Beast House isn’t quite described with the detail that I’d hoped and the characters just aren’t developed that fully. Sure, we feel sorry for Donna and Sandy, hope Jud succeeds at his task and even take a special liking to the eccentric Larry, but some of the characters actions just don’t ring true. If I had a sicko ex-husband running around who wanted to finish what he started with his daughter, I probably wouldn’t leave her alone for a second, much less leave her alone to go bang a studly new acquaintance.

Nonetheless, The Cellar was a disturbing read that kept me on the edge of my seat. I won’t be eager to read it again any time soon, but it is highly recommended by yours truly. It is also part one of a trilogy. The next book is The Beast House and the final one is The Midnight Tour. After The Cellar, I am eager to check out Laymon’s other two books in the trilogy.

Available on Amazon!

Arang (2007)

Arang is a beautifully shot Korean chiller about a detective (Yooh Ah) and her new rookie partner (Dong Wook) who are investigating a series of strange deaths. The victims, all who happen to be childhood friends, die from a poisonous gas that seems to originate from inside their own bodies. The deaths seem unexplainable, especially since all the victims had a very scared look on their face when they died. The detectives soon uncover deep buried secrets having to do with a supposedly haunted salt mill on the coast and a girl who’s been missing for ten years.

I put off watching Arang, mainly because I thought it was the same tired Asian ghost movie that featured a long-haired woman. While it does feature a long-haired ghost woman, Arang still manages to be suspenseful and immensely engaging. This is the first Asian horror flick that in quite some time that didn’t have me rolling my eyeballs at it in exasperation. It actually kept me glued to the screen, scared me and managed to have a twist I didn’t see coming at the end.

Arang has similarities to other Asian horror movies, but the story takes a very different approach. Instead of focusing those threatened by a curse or a ghost, Arang’s focus is on the two detectives on the case. While the victims are dispatched one-by-one, the detectives start piecing together the puzzle of the deaths and become aware of the supposedly haunted salt mill. The movie plays more like a mystery or thriller with some truly terrifying scenes that feature the long-haired ghost.

Besides being genuinely creepy, Arang has some very elegant shots. This is director Ah Sang Hoon’s first feature film, and he and cinematographer Sir Laosson Dara certainly infuse the film with a classy feel, at the same time scaring the pants off of viewers! I was genuinely creeped out at the wedding photo scene (even though it was very similar to Shutter) and the desk scene. While these scenes both felt slightly familiar, they still made me jump outta my seat! The scenes of the Korean coast were breathtaking, and the salt mill was appropriately creepy.

The only place Arang failed me were some confusing scenes that seemed a little too convenient for my liking. For example, one of the victims has a dog that either died alongside him or died before he did (I never did catch which). The detectives randomly decide to dig it up, then slice open its belly to find an incriminating film. Hmmmm, how handy! Also, things are never quite clear towards the end (why was the man with the scar on his hand a target?) and don’t quite add up.

Beside these plot holes and weak points, the film was still entertaining. The mix of the detective story and ghost story worked quite well and I found myself wholeheartedly enjoying Arang, even when I had expected the same old Asian horror clichés. I even enjoyed myself when the film did stoop to the tired clichés, which is saying a lot.

You won’t find many new ideas within Arang, but its fresh perspective on the typical Asian ghost story will keep you intrigued, scared and perhaps even surprised at the twist at the end.

Available on Amazon!

Interview with "Stupid Teenagers Must Die" Director Jeff C. Smith

Stupid Teenagers Must Die! is seriously one of the best independent horror comedies that Fatally Yours has seen in quite some time. It is a hilarious homage to all the cheesy horror films of the 80′s and features “excessive violence, gratuitous nudity and a zero budget” just as promised from the tagline.

Fatally Yours recently had the pleasure of interviewing STMD! director and co-writer Jeff C. Smith about making the film.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die! is officially being released on DVD September 25th, and we urge you to pick up this fantastic piece of independent cinema for your own viewing pleasure.

Fatally Yours: Welcome, Jeff, and thanks so much for doing this interview!

Jeff C. Smith: Thank you! I’m very happy to be here. Let’s get to this. I hope the first question isn’t about torture and making the audience uncomfortable…

FY: Well, actually…the focus in horror today seems to be more about torture and making the audience uncomfortable rather than having a good time. Can you tell us why you went against that trend with STMD!?

JS: If you had seen the first cut of Stupid Teenagers Must Die!, you would have agreed with our first audience that the movie was torture and uncomfortable. But as to why we set out to make a “good time” horror movie, those are just the type of flicks I enjoy. Especially the ones that were funny accidentally, which a lot of the 80’s horror movies are. So I decided to make an accidentally funny horror movie but on purpose.

FY: Why did you decide to make a horror movie as your first feature film?

JS: The horror movie idea was just one of many movie ideas that my movie geek friend, Drew, and I used to talk about when we’d hang out. And I’m pretty sure this is what all cool guys do when they hang out…come up with movie ideas in as many genres as possible, make notes, come up with a structure, and then never actually write the script. That was our method of screenwriting…no actual screenwriting. We had great super hero movie ideas, romantic comedy ideas, anti-romantic comedy ideas, but that was pretty much it. Curtis Andersen, who eventually became the co-writer and executive producer of STMD!, used to listen to us go on and on and decided it was time we made a movie for real. And he was also the one that thought if we were going to do this, it should be a horror movie because he thought we’d have a better chance of selling it. So already he was thinking in the typical “let’s make money” executive producer mentality. And when he heard that there was already an idea for a horror movie, which at the time was called Blood & Guts, he said “let’s make that one!” I was just happy to be making a movie. I’m glad it ended up being a horror movie because it was a lot of fun to shoot.

FY: What was the breaking point when you realized that you wanted to make a horror film that was fun and gory like back in the 80’s as opposed to another horror film that just focused on shocking the audience?

JS: The movie was always intended to be a fun, horror/comedy from the initial idea. And frankly, if I had tried to make a shocking horror movie, it would probably have come across as funny anyway.

FY: Your film really lets the audience have fun again at a horror flick. What horror films inspired STMD!?

JS: Well, the spirit of the “generic” 80’s horror movie was the main inspiration. The one-dimensional characters, the random nudity, all that good stuff. The “look” of the movie is more modern because we had no money so we shot on video, shot handheld and then went in and drained a lot of the color and added some more grain. We figured if the movie’s going to look bad, let’s go all the way and make it look really bad! One review said the only way our movie could be more low-tech was if it were a cave painting. That’s awesome. Anyway, back to inspiration. As far as the story goes, there’s certainly some Night of the Demons in there, some April Fool’s Day, The Lost Boys, Friday the 13th part VI which is the one where Jason comes back to life via lightning and a piece of iron fence. A big influence, actually, is the original Psycho, cause that’s the granddaddy of them all. And the whole “trapped in a house while characters are getting killed off one by one” is definitely inspired by And Then There Were None…or Ten Little Indians, depending on which version you’re watching. When I was in high school, my English teacher let me shoot a Hi-8 version of And Then There Were None for extra credit. So I got all the kids from the high school marching band to play the parts. Dr. Armstrong was now a 15-year-old kid with acne, Judge Wargrave was a 17-year-old drum major, I was the British butler. It was pretty terrible but, boy, did I need that extra credit. What was I talking about? Oh, inspirations. Yeah, that’s pretty much all I can think of right now.

FY: The script is absolutely hilarious. I’m curious as to what you and co-writer Curtis Andersen had to leave out of the finished film?

JS: Anything left out was due to budget. I had some big ideas for the deaths and especially for the finale. But I’m holding on to those ideas in case we get to do a sequel. Or two. Expect a prom.

FY: Did you or Curtis have any screenwriting experience before writing this film? Had you had any directing experience?

JS: Apart from the high school And Then There Were None masterpiece? I did three videos in high school so I could earn enough extra credit to graduate. I then attended Chapman University’s film school where I did a couple of shorts. I worked at a theme park in Anaheim where we’d have a banquet every summer and we’d make videos featuring the world famous theme park characters in big action movies with lasers and love scenes. Those were fun but the theme park lawyers will make sure the public never sees them! And then my friend, Drew, and I actually finished a script about a party called The Happening…not to be confused with M. Night Shyamalan’s upcoming flick…and shot that on video with a cast made up of fellow theme park employees. Curtis was one of the actors in that and Curtis has been a working actor since he was a kid. He was one of the many voices of Schroeder on Charlie Brown, he was on the Teenage Witch show, I think he was on Saved By The Bell: The New Class a couple of times. So in a way, he’s been doing “horror” projects for a long time. Cause what’s scarier than Screech? But STMD! was his first screenwriting experience.

FY: STMD! wouldn’t be as much fun without the strength of the cast, who are all very impressive. How did you find the actors and what was the auditioning process like?

JS: Well, Jovan [Meredith] was always intended to play the part of Kane. I met Jovan and Curtis and our producer, Sara Parrell, all while working at the theme park. There are some twisted people working at theme parks! So that’s where Jovan was found, I guess. Other than Jovan, we didn’t have anyone in mind for the other “teenagers” so we had an open audition in Hollywood and the turnout was amazing. We had something around 1,400 submissions the first week we put the breakdown online. Since Curtis is an actor, he knew how to put together an audition and he never let on that we were making a very low budget movie with a crew of three. We auditioned for a couple of weeks, we chose the best actors and all of our first choices agreed to be in the movie. It was always important to us to have strong actors in the movie because bad acting is what makes a low budget movie look even worse. So we were very lucky to have Ashley [Schneider], Devin [Marble], Lindsay [Gareth], Renee [Dorian], Cory [Assink], Jonathan [Brett], Will [Deutsch], Christina [DeRosa], Jamie [Carson], Matt [Blashaw], Anna-Marie [Wayne] and Jovan.

FY: Did the cast and crew become pretty close after working on this project?

JS: Oh, yes. Some more than others – but I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the more lurid details. Since we were so zero budget, we didn’t have things like trailers or individual dressing rooms so all of us were hanging around a pretty small house for two months. When we did escape the house, we’d usually go to a bar a couple of blocks down the street called Cha-Cha’s. Nothing brings a cast and crew together like heavy, heavy drinking (the cast members that were over 21, of course). We all had a good time and got along great. We had a sleep-over in the house, the cast played a lot of Uno between shots and Lindsay, who plays Tiffany, used to show up after she “died” just to hang out.

FY: Where was it filmed? Did you have to build your own set or did you use an existing house?

JS: We filmed the movie in a real house in the middle of an interesting part of Long Beach, California. This is the type of neighborhood where our actors would hang out on the front porch with fake blood all over their clothes, Ashley would be screaming her head off for a scene we were shooting at midnight and I would walk from my car to the house with machetes and shot guns and the Long Beach residents never looked twice. I’m very curious as to what was going on in the houses surrounding us that the Stupid Teenagers crew didn’t stand out at all. The process of finding a house for the movie wasn’t easy but we ended up in pretty cool looking location.

FY: As an independent filmmaker with a limited budget, what was the most frustrating aspect of making this film?

JS: The most frustrating thing has been and continues to be the lack of money to pay for help! When you don’t pay people a lot, it’s hard to get them to commit to working on your movie. Our special effects guy decided to quit the day before a big, blood effect. That kinda sucked. We went through four different music composers before we got to John Draisey because the other dudes just couldn’t give us the time. And now, the entire thing is pretty much run by Sara and me. Even Curtis, the guy that said “we should make this movie” has moved on to other things. We do have help from folks like Matt Worley who helps with technical things I don’t understand, Randy Catiller who does StupidTeenagersMustDie.com, Dean Ethington who did our logo and poster art, and our cast is good about promoting our news to their family and friends, but all of the marketing, finding distribution, entering festivals, selling this DVD- that has been the two of us and it can get overwhelming. Of course, it’s all worth it because I got to make a movie which is something I’ve always wanted to do! But on the next movie, we will have a crew! Even if we have to pay them in Triscuits! People love Triscuits.

FY: Mmmmm…Triscuits…What was the most rewarding aspect of making STMD!?

JS: The most rewarding aspect has been the people that have seen the movie and have enjoyed it. It’s a scary thing putting something you’ve created out into the world for people to judge. So far, the sites like Fatally-Yours.com have been very receptive and that’s a great feeling. After the DVD is released on September 25th, I’m totally prepared for the kids on the internet to rip our movie apart and say it looks like crap and the camera work sucks and all of that. I’m sure the comments on Netflix will be particularly brutal but as long as we get the occasional “good review,” I’m fine with that.

FY: From pre-production to post-production, how long did the film take to complete?

JS: We started writing the script in shifts in December 2005. The movie finished rendering in the computer for the last time in March 2007. But somehow in the middle of all of that we had a “premiere” in July 2006. That was one of the biggest mistakes we made on the movie. We finished shooting at the end of May 2006 and that gave me something like six weeks to edit the movie so it could premiere on July 13th. Once the 13th came along, the movie was nowhere near ready but invitations had been sent out, the venue had been paid for, the whole deal. That was a bad screening. Someone told Jovan that night that he was lucky no one would ever see the movie. I kept working on it for months and we had another screening at the same venue in June of 2007. It was a much better night. We even recorded the audience as a special audio feature for the DVD so you will get to hear what the audience sounded like that night for the REAL premiere!

FY: Can you tell us what your five favorite horror movies are?

JS: Psycho, Evil Dead 2, Jaws, Halloween…I should probably add Poltergeist because that was the first movie that ever did psychological damage to me. I was at my first slumber party and all the kids wanted to watch Poltergeist. Once they got to the part where the dude rips his face off in front of the mirror, I was outta there. My parents had to come pick me up. And I remember being in the theatre when the Poltergeist II trailer played and Carol Ann said “They’re back!” I wasn’t too happy that they were back. I guess those are my top five. I really liked Grindhouse this year and I’m kinda annoyed that they’re splitting the movies up for DVD.

FY: What are your plans in the future? Are there any upcoming projects you can tell us about?

JS: I’ve been working on two scripts for the past couple of months. One comedy, one horror/comedy. Hopefully I’ll get to shoot one of those. And it would be great to get the cast from Stupid Teenagers Must Die! in there, too. And a crew. I did mention that I’d like to have a crew, right?

FY: Thank you so much for chatting with us, Jeff and we wish you and STMD! all the best in the future!

JS: Thank you! Fatally-Yours was our first REALLY good review and we’re forever grateful. And please, Fatally-Yours readers, pick up the Stupid Teenagers Must Die! DVD! It comes out on September 25th! For more info, check out www.StupidTeenagersMustDie.com and www.MySpace.com/StupidTeenagers!

Buy Stupid Teenagers Must Die!

Hatchet (2007)

“Old School American Horror.” This was the tagline as well as the promise of Hatchet, the little indie horror film that could. When rejected by a major studio for not being “a remake, a sequel or a Japanese one,” director Adam Green took that rejection and turned it into the movie’s selling point. After the glut of PG-13, remakes and sequels that clogged the movie market, horror fans were hungry for a return to their 80’s roots. They wanted an original, brutal slasher film that wasn’t a remake or a sequel and that was fun, complete with copious amount of blood and boobs.

In answer to those fans’ prayers comes Hatchet, a film that has been completed for two years but has only now been picked up by Anchor Bay and given a theatrical run. Director Adam Green himself says that he has been on the road promoting the film for a straight 17 months. It’s obvious that the film is a labor of love for all involved and it is inspiring to see how much dedication and hard work went into getting this movie made and released.

I had the pleasure of seeing it opening night, September 7th, in Hollywood along with most of the cast and crew and I’m pleased to report that Hatchet is exactly what it promised, “Old School American Horror,” and buckets of fun (along with buckets of blood ‘n’ boobs!).

To get over a recent breakup, Ben (Joel David Moore) is dragged to Mardi Gras by his buddy Marcus (Deon Richmond). Not being interested in all the boobs and booze, Ben convinces Marcus to go on a haunted swamp tour instead of partying. They are joined by two questionable “actresses” Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti) and questionable “producer,” Shapiro (Joel Murray), an older couple (Richard Riehle and Patrika Darbo) and a mysterious local named Marybeth (Tamara Feldman). When their lingually-challenged guide (Parry Shen) crashes their boat onto a rock, they must abandon ship and head into the Lousiana swamp. Marybeth tells them how she is there to search for her missing father (Robert Englund) and brother (Joshua Leonard) and the legend of Victor Crowley. The specific area they are in belongs to Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder), a horribly disfigured monster of a man who cannot rest after what happened to him years ago. Can the group survive the hatchet-wielding madman and make it out of the swamp alive?

Hatchet was great fun to watch in a sold-out theater with the cast and crew present. The crowd went absolutely wild at many parts of the movie, clapping, screaming and laughing together. THIS is how a fun, slasher movie should be seen. This is how I imagine watching Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street in theaters must have been in the 80’s. Not only are we treated to some amazing deaths (courtesy of special FX maestro John Carl Buechler) and impressive arterial sprays, but the script is peppered with jokes (both funny and corny) that keep the film firmly planted in “fun” territory, where nothing should be taken too seriously.

The death scenes are the most impressive thing about the film, featuring lots of blood and grue. The MPAA came down hard on this independent film, so it has been trimmed, but the full, over-the-top brutality will be on display for the DVD release of the film. Still, even with some scenes being trimmed, the film’s gore will not disappoint. Director Adam Green and director of photography Will Barratt did a wonderful job with each scene, especially the death scenes that feature no cut-aways and gruesome sprays of blood. Some of my favorite gore scenes include a guy getting repeatedly chopped at with a hatchet, a woman getting her face ripped in half when Victor Crowley pulls apart her jaws, a woman getting her lower jaw cut off with a power saw (correction: it was a belt sander; sorry, my knowledge of tools is limited at best!) and the many dismemberments. If gore is what you’re looking for, you’ll most certainly find it here.

Guys will be delighted to find that the film is saturated (especially in the first half hour or so) with boobs. It feels more like Porky’s or Girls Gone Wild (or Bayou Beavers as producer Shapiro calls the softcore film he’s making) than horror, but once the blood starts flowing (which does take a while) it doesn’t stop. I’m not a big fan of mixing sex and scares (I’ve got my own pair of boobs, thank you very much), but here it’s just sticking to the well-defined slasher formula.

It sticks so well to the formula, in fact, that it brings along all the problems and baggage that 70′s and 80′s slashers have. I don’t believe it was ever Adam Green’s (who also wrote the script) intention to fix the flaws, instead his focus was on faithfully recreating the feel of our much-beloved but seriously flawed slasher flicks. Hatchet has annoying characters (why are all the girls written as annoying, stupid, hysterical and/or slutty?), silly dialogue (some of it is truly insipid and Green should stick to directing) and ludicrous plot holes (ah, yes, I understand they want to make a sequel, hence the convenient plot holes,…but weren’t they against that in the first place?). Hatchet has ALL these flaws and more, but that, my friends, is the POINT of the movie, and kind of its endearment. In its homage to the fun and brainless horror films of the 70’s and 80’s, it has decided to poke a little fun at what inspired it. Which is why, it really DOES deserve to be called “Old School American Horror.” It plays it straight and features both the flaws and the strengths of the genre.

Hatchet is a step forward for the horror genre and will hopefully open the door for more independent horror films. It may not be original and there are far better independent horror films out there, but it stays faithful and true to its claims of “Old School American Horror,” flaws and all.

Hatchet is a fun film, one that’ll make you reminisce about all the crappy movies that came out in the 80’s and make you love it for doing so. It is a straightforward slasher film whose focus is building up the body count as opposed to building up the suspense, but for horror geeks like myself that love a brainless, FUN horror movie that ISN’T a remake or a sequel once in a while, it’s a treat.

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